


Warbound Widow

by SkilledWarriorKiwi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Also I am NEVER going to abandon this fanfic, Alternate Universe - Alternian Invasion, Alternian Empire, Angst, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Ass-Kicking, Blood and Torture, Body Horror, Both the Beta and Alpha sessions have merged, Break Up, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Cannibalism, Creepy Fluff, Cult of the Signless Sufferer, Dismemberment, Drunkenness, Dubious Ethics, Earth centric, Earth restored, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Even if I get useless with updates it isn't going to be abandoned, Eye Gouging, Face Punching, Field Trips Gone Wrong, Fist Fights, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Grooming, Guerrilla Warfare, Hallucinations, Hermaphroditic Trolls, Hope spot, Hurt/Comfort, I will embrace the coldness of the grave before I abandon this, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inappropriate Humor, Interrogation, Kidnapping, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Mind Rape, Minor Character Death, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Character Death, Pining, Political Alliances, Post-Sburb, Protectiveness, Psychic Violence, Quadrant Confusion, Rebellion, Rebels, Religious Fanaticism, Reminiscing, Reunion Sex, Scary Clowns, Sexual Assault, Size Difference, Stalking, Strangulation, Subjugglators, Suicidal Thoughts, The Church of the Mirthful Messiahs, Torture, Violent Reunion, Women Being Awesome, Women In Power, pesterlogs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:44:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 415,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkilledWarriorKiwi/pseuds/SkilledWarriorKiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/39716.html?thread=45650212#cmt45650212">Meme prompt.</a>
</p>
<p>"So the kids win Sburb and they are placed on a restored Earth (both Alphas and Betas) all injuries healed and even some nifty God Tier powers left over; however there is one thing very wrong- the trolls didn't come with them. </p>
<p>Everyone is confused and upset, but no matter how hard they try they just cannot locate the trolls anywhere so they become resigned to never meeting them again. As such, they just carry on with their lives and try to put Sburb behind them.</p>
<p>Then, a decade later the Alternian Empire attacks Earth."</p>
<p>Warbound Widow also now has a <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/WarboundWidow">TV tropes</a> page!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

gutsyGumshoe [GG] has begun Bothering terminallyCapricious [TC]  
  
GG: So!  
GG: It's all done.  
GG: Sburb, the Batterwitch, Lord English...  
GG: It's over and we're back on Earth. The restored Earth, not the flooded husk that the Batterwitch turned it into.  
GG: !!!  
GG: It's over and we're all safe. Oh and our guardians are here as well! Like Roxy's mum and Dirk's bro, even Jake's Grandma is back! Actually even the guardians of the other players are here as well! It's like our two sessions the Alpha's and Beta's have merged or something. Pretty confusing! :B  
GG: I won't lie I cried when I saw my dad. I was so sure he was dead and to see he wasn't...  
GG: Well, everyone ended up crying all over the place... Even Dirk started crying when his big brother hugged him! I've never seen him get so emotional before. But it really made it sink in; that it was over and now we can just relax.  
GG: But there's one problem; we don't know where any of you guys are. You or the other trolls.  
GG: Rose - the young one, not Roxy's mum - gave us the list of your handles after we caught our bearings to try and get in contact with you guys, since we've been looking everywhere.  
GG: I mean, it's only been a few days since we've been restored so maybe you're on the wrong side of the planet or hiding somewhere?  
GG: You don't have to worry since Lord English is dead and so is the Batterwitch. So just get in contact with us?  
GG: I hope you're okay.  
GG: <3   
  
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GG: Well, it's been a week and we still don't know where you guys are! We're all bamboozled by it, to be honest.  
GG: Rose says she's fairly sure you guys are alive....but you're just not here.  
GG: So I guess that means you're back on your own planet? I think it's Alternic or Alternid? Something like that. :B  
GG: I hope you're safe, wherever you are.  
GG: I just wish we could've...  
GG: I just hope you're safe.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I have some fantastic news, buster!  
GG: It turns out we're still God Tiers!  
GG: We even still have the outfits. :B  
GG: Admittedly mine is...beige, not the most attractive hue for a young lady.  
GG: But I can heal and even resurrect things!  
GG: I tried it on a squirrel I saw get run over during one of our searches for you and the rest of the trolls. I know it's likely you got sent back to your own world but we are just making doubly sure. :)  
GG: It was so fascinating how the blue surrounded it and suddenly it hopped back up with nary a scratch!  
GG: Likewise Roxy can turn invisible and create things from nothing and Rose can 'See' beneficial paths. John turned into the wind and Jade still has her dog ears and teleporting! I'm not really sure how Dirk and Jake can test their powers, though. :(  
GG: There are so limits, however. As a true detective I made sure to investigate this thoroughly! :)   
GG: I can only help someone twice and within a time-limit. However that applies to resurrections; I am very good at healing! Roxy cannot create large things- the size of a basket ball is as large as she can do. John can't stay as the wind for so long otherwise he gets exhausted and drained. Jade also can't shrink things anymore. Dave can stop time but he can't make doubles. It's all so fascinating!  
GG: But for some reason our guardians don't have any powers. :(  
GG: Does that mean you also kept all your powers? I never knew what your aspect was.  
GG: I'll just ask when we find you. :)  
GG: <3  
  
  
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GG: Well, something odd happened today.  
GG: Dirk's brother killed those two odd clown rappers and Roxy's mum killed Guy Fieri.  
GG: I...  
GG: Dirk explained to me later on about the apparent take-over of Earth from those two.  
GG: Well, I was never really fond of the Insane Clown Posse and always thought they were fairly...odd. The apparent Hilarocaust and all that murdering just goes to show my apprehension was right!  
GG: But Guy Fieri?  
GG: The third and final antichrist?  
GG: I used to watch his cooking shows!  
GG: Hard to believe he would do such evil things when the Baroness came to power...  
GG: Well...  
GG: I suppose Roxy and Dirk's family members were just making sure it never has a chance of happening again?  
GG: I'm just glad they had enough sense not to do their executions publicly.  
GG: They then left for a few days to go 'hunting' as Jake's Grandma stated before she joined them in their campaign.  
GG: Apparently they are hunting down and killing any high ranking person who sided with the Batterwitch.  
GG: I can see the sense behind it. Still seems a bit extreme though!  
GG: But they lived through that terrible time so I won't try and stop them from dealing with traitors.  
GG: Time to 'clean up shop' as Dirk said.  
GG: <3  
  
  
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GG: It's been nearly a month since we've been put back on earth and boy howdy have we've been busy!  
GG: I'm back at home with my dad and oddly enough John's house is right next door.  
GG: I mean, it is still kinda weird since there's two Roxy's, two Rose's, two Dave's and two Dirk's now- at least the Grand Harley's can just stick 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa' in front of their names, hoo hoo. :B  
GG: But at least we can tell them apart! My dad and John's dad are identical- it's so weird. It's gotten to the point they don't even bother correcting John and me when we call the wrong one 'dad' since we've done it so much.  
GG: At the moment we're all just congregating at mine and John's, trying to sort everything out.  
GG: Did your guardian come back? I don't know if you had one; you never really seemed to like talking about your own when I brought up my dad.  
GG: Do...do trolls have parents?   
GG: Because apparently the Condesce was my great-great-grandma or something.  
GG: And she killed Jake's Grandma, Dirk's and Roxy's guardians...and most of the human race.  
GG: So um I hope troll parents aren't like her in any case.  
GG: She was a horrid person and I'm glad she's dead.  
GG: But hopefully you got back someone dear to you who died in Sburb.  
GG: I hope you're okay.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Living so close to my grandson is odd.  
GG: Well, he's my grandson, grandfather and brother, apparently.  
GG: It is so confusing! We seem to be all related!  
GG: Apart from my father and John's father. It is odd how they seem to be identical, yet they weren't even created through ectobiology.  
GG: But it has been fun with John- finally, another young prankster to test myself against!  
GG: He did managed to get me with the bucket-over-the-door prank, but I smacked him right in the face with a blueberry flan in the same instant so jokes on him!  
GG: Well, both our gambits suffered but I'll get him back eventually!  
GG: Just you wait and see. :)  
GG: I bet you would've had fun with all this, after all clowns like pranks, don't they?  
GG: Maybe you have different ways of being a prankster clown? From what Dirk tells me the clown management of Earth wasn't...pleasant.  
GG: Well, I'll just have to ask you eventually.   
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I spent some time talking with Rose today.  
GG: The younger one- she was on the meteor with you.  
GG: On that note, how in tarnation did I meet you if that meteor was traveling for three years? Or was these time shenanigans?  
GG: But anyway, turns out Rose also has an alien squeeze! :B  
GG: A troll by the name of "Kanaya Maryam."  
GG: Did you know her?  
GG: From what Rose said she had quite an animosity towards you. Remnants from all the horrible things that occurred with your team before meeting up with Dave and Rose.  
GG: I bet that makes things uncomfortable now that you're all back home.  
GG: Well, hopefully neither of you have decided a fight to the death is in order.  
GG: I hope the two of you are alright.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I'm spending quite a bit of my time talking with Rose. She's pretty much the only other one who was in, erm, relations with a troll.  
GG: We are "xenophile sistahs" as Roxy so lovingly dubbed us. She also made some shirts and tried to make me and Rose wear them.  
GG: Ah, the joys of the living! :B  
GG: But as I was saying, I am becoming fast friends with Rose; she's very sophisticated and poised yet ultimately a giant dork, hoo hoo!  
GG: So we spent some time chatting in the kitchen while I baked and Rose knitted.  
GG: Rose knows far more about alien romance than I did- Heck, I didn't even know trolls had quadrants! You owe me quite an explanation, mister!  
GG: But quadrants...apparently the one I think we were in were the 'flush' quadrant.  
GG: Does that mean I'm your matesprit?  
GG: Am I using it right?   
GG: Matesprit.  
GG: Matesprit.   
GG: Hoo hoo, it's quite an interesting word! :)  
GG: I always just used 'boyfriend' or 'alien clown who tries to sell me things' when thinking about you.  
GG: I suppose it does explain why you asked if we were getting 'flushed' after a while or being together. I thought you meant literal body temperature- you were always very cool. I think it had something to do with your blood colour? I'm still a bit confused about the whole hemospectrum thing; after all, I had never seen you bleed before.  
GG: I'll leave it at that.  
GG: I hope you're doing well, matesprit. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Roxy (both versions) insisted that we throw an elaborate "Hurray, we aren't dead!" party today.  
GG: So I spent most of the morning baking with my dad, along with John's dad. John also came by to help. I know he usually doesn't like to bake, so I asked him about it. Turns out he doesn't mind baking with his dad anymore. I guess having your parent die really makes you appreciate a second chance with them. Goodness knows I've randomly burst into hysterical tears and hugged my dad more times than I can count in the past month.  
GG: I wish you had been there. I know you liked baking.   
GG: I remember when you baked for me on my birthday. After the whole horrible thing that occurred with Jake.  
GG: I came back, raging and crying and generally just acting like some hysterical broad.  
GG: And on the bench was a pie that you made me for my birthday.  
GG: I'm pretty sure you also put some jam on it, like saying "happy hatching day my fave bitchsis" with some more swear words put it in.  
GG: You aliens do swear a lot. Even the Batterwitch dropped swear words left right and center!  
GG: But you did make me something. An alien clown remembered my birthday while one of my closest friends forgot.  
GG: It was also a pretty good pie. I remember you saying you baked a lot back on your planet, before your version of Sburb.  
GG: I just sat on the floor of the kitchen eating the pie, crying and cursing to myself. Wasn't I a dignified lady?  
GG: Then you ambled up and sat down with me in that ridiculous outfit you always wore -what WAS with that thing?- and started blathering on about miracles and pie and other stuff I was too busying crying to remember.  
GG: And then we ended up k  
GG:   
GG: I don't know.  
GG: I guess I'm just being mopey and pathetic at the moment.  
GG: I'll make some pies for the party tonight. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: We got delivered a doozy today!  
GG: It turns out Mama Lalonde is dating John's dad!  
GG: It's...odd. Sweet, but odd! She is an alternative version of my best friend...  
GG: It certainly puts the comments Roxy would make about my father into a different perspective.  
GG: I am glad they found happiness. From what Rose said the two got murdered in the middle of a date during the Beta session. :(   
GG: But they have another chance. :)  
GG: Though it is awkward when she's too drunk and stumbles into the wrong house and attempts to seduce my father.  
GG: Very, very awkward indeed.  
GG: Though to be fair John and I still confuse both our fathers, so a drunk probably has just as hard of a time figuring out the differences. :B  
GG: At least my father is nice when he tells her he is not her boyfriend- he lives next door, hoo hoo!  
GG: Needless to say, my prankster gambit has been through the roof for the last few days! :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Another month. Another!  
GG: It's strange how time is passing so quickly.  
GG: I keep on expecting something bad to happen. Like I'll find out this is just some hallucination or the planet is about to explode.  
GG: I believe I'm being a wee bit paranoid but Sburb has taken its toll on us...  
GG: But...  
GG: Well, I was asking Rose and Dave about you, since they knew you when you were on the meteor with them.  
GG: And...this is rather awkward, but you apparently killed two other trolls on there?  
GG: I'm not  
GG: I'm not condemning you right off the bat, gosh no!  
GG: I just wonder why you killed them? Were they bad people? Did they attack you?  
GG: ...  
GG: Maybe I'm better off not knowing.  
GG: But since all the dead guardians are back for us does that mean the two trolls you killed are alive again?  
GG: Must be awkward...  
GG: ...  
GG: I think I need to ask Ro-la a few things first.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I   
GG: I asked Roxy some things about Sburb.  
GG: About after we got accosted by the Batterwitch after going Godtier and how she possessed Jade and did something to me.  
GG: I couldn't remember any of that, all I could recall was blinding pain in my head, then nothing until I woke up on the floor and you were there all blood covered and holding me then Roxy was telling me the Condesce and Lord English were dead.  
GG: I had a grilling session with Roxy- I forced her to tell me everything I did while I was 'fuckin batshit wid batterwitch majyyks'. (Her words.)  
GG: Apparently I did many terrible things.  
GG: Punched out Jake, locked him up and threatened to do horrid things to him.  
GG: Ruined any chance of restoring Skaia.  
GG: Created that horrid flea-ball GCat,  
GG: Killed Karkat.  
GG: Then I killed Jake.  
GG:   
GG: I fucking killed one of my oldest friends.  
GG: Guess that means I have no right at all to lecture you about killing your teammates since I did the same thing.  
GG: I  
GG:   
GG:   
GG:   
  
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GG: I'm sorry about before. :(   
GG: I didn't mean to go all goobledegook at you.  
GG: I'm just so ashamed of myself right now.  
GG: I haven't left my room after Roxy told me how I murdered one of my friends.  
GG: I don't care that the evil hag queen was mind-controlling me, I was the one who stabbed him with that stupid over-sized fork.  
GG: Stupid stupid stupid!  
GG: It's always my fucking fault things like this happen!  
GG: First with that stupid fucking juju then that stupid fucking tiara!  
GG: I was just fucking USELESS the entire Sburb session, like some three legged horse! Getting my dumbass braindwashed at every darn turn!  
GG: At least you apparently have 'highblood rage issues' or whatever Rose said!  
GG: I don't even have that excuse, I'm was just completely fucking weak minded!  
GG: I just  
GG: FUCK!  
  
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GG: Okay, I've spent a week or so moping around and being pathetic and I think I'm...a bit better. :B  
GG: I still just feel ashamed whenever I see Jake and I can't even look him in the face. He told me he's forgiven me but that sure as heck doesn't mean I've forgiven myself. I'm not going to forgive myself for a long while.  
GG: I'm just so ashamed. :(  
GG: Hopefully you won't get the wrong idea when you get these messages and think 'yo this human is outta her alien head mothafuck' and...erm, stuff?  
GG: I just want you to know I kinda get the whole 'killing your own friends' thing.  
GG: It probably sounds horrible but I really don't care about you killing those other trolls.  
GG: Most of the trolls I've meet are horrible anyway.  
GG: Gosh, that does sound terrible doesn't it? :(  
GG: Ugh.  
GG: Well, I already feel terrible so let's just heap more terrible feelings on plain old Jane.  
GG: But I just  
GG: I guess I wanted you to know that I don't hate you for the terrible things you did.  
GG: I'm still here. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Six months. Hard to believe it's been that long! :)  
GG: But we have survived and we are thriving!  
GG: I'll give you some rundowns of what we've been up to! We've been as busy as bees. :B  
GG: Betty Crocker is still world-spanning with fingers in pretty much every pie, oddly enough. However Dad's making sure it's not corrupting the planet or the human race anytime soon! Miss Lalonde and Mama Lalonde are helping with that as well. (That's how we tell the two adult versions of Rose and Roxy apart by title- Roxy still remains as devilish always, age doesn't seem to deter her much!)  
GG: I've been learning some of the ropes, since I'm still the legal heiress.  
GG: No, wait, I prefer the term inheritor. I don't want to EVER be called heiress again.  
GG: You would love it here! I went to the main Crocker Bakery and it was MASSIVE! I mean shucks, I've seen factories before but that Bakery just blew it all away! :O  
GG: I wish we could bottle 'fresh baking' as a smell. It's just so divine. :)  
GG: I'll just have to make do with baking every day.  
GG: But at least we've established the full entiretly of Crocker Corp. But this time we can use it to help humanity not enslave it.  
GG: Maybe I should change the colour to purple. :B  
GG: Hoo hoo hoo!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I had an interesting week!  
GG: I decided to travel you see, going to visit all of my fellow Sburb players :B  
GG: It was certainly an...interesting experience.  
GG: Turns out the Beta version of Dirk doesn't talk. At all. It was oddly intimidating talking to him, only for him to never respond! Though Dave apparently had no issues with understand what all his subtle...body movements meant. Quite interesting, seeing how different he was from the Dirk I know. Dirk himself seems to be quite...intimidated by his alternative half, though. It's so fascinating seeing someone who's usually so sure of themselves get all tongue-tied.  
GG: Likewise Dirk's older brother was very different from his Beta counterpart, he's far more blunt for one. But his speech is even more bamboozling than Dave! I mean, the younger Dave, not Dirk's older bro Dave. I'm more used to him though, since I used to see him on television before Sburb.  
GG: Whew, it's sometimes boggling trying to keep track of everyone!   
GG: At least John and I just have odd twin fathers, hoo hoo! :B  
GG: I wonder...  
GG: Do you have some kind of counterpart? John offhandedly mention 'Dancestors', who were like...dead ancestors of yours.  
GG: Did they come back with you?  
GG: I hope they did. It's always nice to have more friends. :) And I would hate for you to be lonely.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Visited the Harley's!  
GG: They'd moved back to their island a few months ago. Jake was quite impressed at the lack of giant killer fauna on their island.  
GG: Said killer fauna who were apparently your parents?  
GG: Shucks, that seems interesting!   
GG: Literally raised by wild animals.  
GG: Could they talk? Or did you just interpret their body language, like Dave does with the older version of Dirk?  
GG: Oh, I wish I could ask you all these things.  
GG: But I can't.  
GG: :(  
GG: I know, I shouldn't brood. But I can't help it.  
GG: I just hope that you're okay. That you're happy.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I had a long talk with John today.   
GG: It's odd. We've never really...talked, bluntly, about Sburb. It's like we've just tried to force it out of our minds for nearly a year. Just to let ourselves heal somewhat from all the torment we've gone through, to reconnect with our families.  
GG: Shucks, here I am just babbling away. :B  
GG: But I spoke with John and he mentioned how your session apparently created our universe.  
GG: I admit, I had not even an iota of a thought such a thing was possible! Much less created by a frog, as Jade later claimed!  
GG: But that meant you were responsible for a lot of things our universe now has...and how you had twelve players in your group and who's symbols turned into constellations in our sky.  
GG: Your symbol was Capricorn, wasn't it?  
GG: I'm an Aries, since my birthday is in April. :B  
GG: Apparently that nice fairy troll's sign was Aries and she was also a Maid!  
GG: I looked up some things about the Capricorn zodiac sign! :B  
GG: Capricorn, an earth symbol with an animal in the form of a sea-goat! Does that mean you had a pet fish-goat on your planet? Or was it just favorite animal?  
GG: It mentions how 'Capricorns are very committed to causes they peruse and are good at getting what they want'. It also mentions how you 'tend to have a differing sense of humour which can be quite refreshing'! I admit, I did find you...endearing after a while, once I got over your weird swearing and mannerisms.  
GG: It also mentions Capricorns tend to be very faithful spouses :)  
GG: Does that mean you still remember me?  
GG: Darnit, I'm probably being pushy but I hope you do.  
GG: And I hope you still think of me.  
GG: I think of you a lot.  
GG: Here I am, inheritor of a world-spanning corporation, nearly a year after being Gods and I'm pining for my boyfriend who was an alien and a clown to boot.  
GG: Who cares, I'm a God gosh darnit. :B  
GG: If I want to swoon over an alien boyfriend than you bet your bottom dollar I will!  
GG: <3 <3 <3  
  
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GG: I saw your sign in the sky tonight.  
GG: I wanted some alone time...just some time to myself.  
GG: We're all like that; we have different ways to adapt with the aftermath Sburb.  
GG: Rose and Roxy go on week long benders together every few months. Dirk vanishes for days at a time and comes back covered in oil and dust. Dave won't speak to anyone and will hole up in his room for days with his turntables. John will bake and bake and bake, until his house is absolutely filled with cakes, muffins and cookies; even the floors are covered. Jake will get reclusive, almost feral, before he will vanish into the wilds for weeks before appearing again. Jade will stay in her lab then work and work until she faints either from hunger or sleep deprevation.  
GG: Me...I just need to be alone. Alone without anyone there to talk or touch, away from civilisation so I can just sit and stare and think.  
GG: Our guardians help us when we crash. Otherwise they understand and accept our ways of coping.  
GG: So I was out with one of my isolantionist phrases.  
GG: I was just walking along one of the trails at night in the woods a few miles from where I live.  
GG: And I realised- from where I was I could see your sign in the stars.  
GG: The Capricornus. :)  
GG: If you ever come here I want to show you it.  
GG: After all, it is yours.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: yous stupid fuckonm clwon  
GG: whel de dya fuck are euo???//  
GG: di  
GG: i fuckom wait doumit  
GG:i fukim did  
GG: now wheeda yip go??  
GG: you fuckled off!!111  
GG: ufukvin liars clowms!  
GG: fuclim here  
GG: ones yearh aftet dat shitt of sburbm  
GG: fuckim alone uslesshk widtho a clown juot fucim drinkm everyywhere  
GG: lyid on mak floor fuckim vom all ovea   
GG: wher r u  
GG: arnt i fuckm good enuff fo yu???  
GG: FUKC UOKY!  
  
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GG: Um.  
GG: I can't really remember what I wrote yesterday.  
GG: I...  
GG: I got fairly drunk.  
GG: Gosh, that's a great way to celebrate the one year anniversary of Sburb isn't it!  
GG: Get drunk, throw up, leave my estranged alien boyfriend many angry messages and proceed to black out on the floor, leaving my unconscious body for my distressed father to find later on.  
GG: Luckily my dad isn't the yelling type but he just gave me a stern look full of fatherly disapproval and concern when I got up for breakfast the next day.  
GG: Ugh!  
GG: How could Roxy stand getting drunk all the time? Hang overs are the horses ass, I swear! :(  
GG: Mama Lalonde still drinks all the time. That woman must be made of iron. I could never handle hang overs every day.  
GG: I can't remember what I said.  
GG: Hopefully you won't take it personally, I was just upset and lonely.  
GG: I mean...I know I have my friends, but it's just not the same.   
GG: You're safe are you? I hope you are.  
GG: <3 <3  
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GG: Well, I finally told my dad about you today!  
GG: It was about a week after the whole "Angry drunk Jane" scenario and I figured my father of all people deserved to know why his only daughter ended up raiding his whiskey and blacking out on her bedroom floor.   
GG: So...well, so I told him why I was so upset.  
GG: Explained to him I was missing my alien boyfriend who was a clown.  
GG: ....  
GG: Yes, it was an...interesting discussion.  
GG: I started from the beginning, how you showed up, tried to sell me stuff, gave me a sprite that screamed and exploded -thanks for that, it really made my day by the way!- and that birthday pie.  
GG: Dad approved of your baking, so that's something! He seemed a bit dubious at his daughter dating an alien but I explained to him why we got together. Our reasons.  
GG: Well, my reasoning. I never really knew why you wanted to be with me, of all people.  
GG: I was just the boring, short fat one of the group. What was so interesting about me? Was it because of my connection to the Condesce? Or did my baking skills lure you in?  
GG: I always wondered. Maybe you really are insane, for picking me. :B  
GG: Well, I guess if I asked you you would probably just make a crass comment about my breasts, more likely than not. Hoo hoo!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: The Batterwitch was thousands of years old wasn't she?  
GG: Dave mentioned you were fairly high up on the troll hemospectrum, so that means you'll live very long doesn't it?  
GG: Does that mean you could find Earth but only thousands of years later?  
GG: I would be dust by then.  
GG: Maybe you do find Earth, but I've been dead and buried for centuries?  
GG: I'll make sure to write that on my tombstone "Darnit Gamzee, you are late!" :B  
GG: ...  
GG: No, I think that would just be mean. :(  
GG: I do hope you are around, that you're not in some different reality.   
GG: I suppose it doesn't matter, as long as you're alive and safe.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: You know what occurred to me?  
GG: Our world, Earth, got replaced in its ideal form. Everything is as it should be, everything restored, and Crocker Corp, while still world spanning, we're not using to enslave humanity, instead we're using it to improve everyone's live. :)  
GG: So does that mean your world got restored?   
GG: I hope it went back to everything you wished it to be.  
GG: I bet that involved lots of circuses, pies and carnivals! :B  
GG: Though you have twelve players though.  
GG: Gosh, that's quite a few! No wonder you clashed so much, especially since you were such a militant species.  
GG: I'm still a little baffled by how your session worked- after all, the session before yours went through with the Scratch didn't it?  
GG: Just like how our session was the result of a Scratch as well!  
GG: Golly, does that mean the Dancestors came back with you?  
GG: They were dead for millions of years. I wonder how they would adapt?  
GG: Regardless, you better be enjoying your new life, buster!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Nearly two years.  
GG: Two years! I can hardly believe it!  
GG: We're going to have a get-together on Hellmurder Island. I've never stayed there before.  
GG: Me and John have been going through recipes, trying to find the perfect cake to bake. Something special. :B  
GG: I'm fairly sure we're going to settle on a Sburb cake- John skretched out some odd house logo, which is apparently used as space/time shenanigans to help Calliope win her fight.  
GG: Did you know who Calliope was? She was siblings with Caliborn- the one who became Lord English.  
GG: From what Roxy told me she managed to somehow come back to life and challenged her brother.  
GG: But she died from her injuries after she managed to kill him. :(  
GG: John told me about Cherubs, how Caliborn was a literal half of Calliope.  
GG: Killing one half of yourself.  
GG: Gosh, Calliope must have been so brave, confronting that lunatic! It's thanks to her we even won. She was the true hero of Sburb. She was the last woman standing and killed that horrid creature and in turn saved us all.  
GG: I hope she was giving a second chance as well.  
GG: She was a dear friend and I think you would have liked her if you had meet her. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Well, that party could have gone better!  
GG: I had a nice spat with Dave which really ruined the mood. :(  
GG: But before that the night was going well!  
GG: Hellmurder island is a beautiful place, especially without all the killer monsters.  
GG: The Harley's were very accommodating. Especially since Grandma English switched her name back to Harley- apparently she only picked English because she knew it would rile up the Batterwitch.  
GG: But anyway everything was going wonderfully! John and I made a magnificent cake- both of our fathers were very impressed. :)  
GG: We also exchanged gifts, almost like Christmas.  
GG: ...Do trolls have any kind of celebration like that?  
GG: Anyway, it had started out really wonderfully, with fireworks and laughter and much reminiscing. Then I was talking to Dave and things somehow things shifted to Sburb and then the trolls. Dave started getting...grumpy I suppose, when I spoke about seeing the Capricornus in the stars.  
GG: Well, I certainly did not tolerate that attitude! So I confronted him about his hostile behaviour.   
GG: Turns out he was all bent out of shape about you attacking one of the other trolls during the whole kerfuffle with the Batterwitch.  
GG: I don't remember any of that fight, considering that stupid tiara was still controlling me. :(  
GG: All I recall was going Godtier then waking up with you holding onto me; there was screaming and crying and you were covered in this greenish paint. Perhaps you were restraining me while I was going crazy from that tiara?  
GG: But as I was saying, Dave was getting all miffed about the fight. Apparently you attacked one of the trolls on the batterfield- I think he said her name was Terezi?  
GG: I never knew her, but from what John told me she killed him and Dave before for no real reason so...she doesn't seem like a very nice person to me.  
GG: I told Dave as much and needless to say things just went to the pot after that.  
GG: Bickering and raging. Eventually I...lost my temper and struck him.  
GG: Needless to say that really brought down the mood!  
GG: Even if Roxy congratulated me afterwards for my "mad skills gurl" I still felt like I ruined the night. :(  
GG: But that does bring to light quite a few things; after all, they told me of your rampage, yet you never showed any of this "insane murderclown bullshit" towards me, as Dave so eloquently put it. You were mildly creepy, but I always just jotted that down to the fact you were an alien.  
GG: I wonder...  
GG: Is that why you chose that handle? Capricious?  
GG: After all, that word means "given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour."  
GG: Perhaps that what it was? Why I never saw your other apparent 'side'?  
GG: Regardless, I thought you would want to know I spent the two year anniversary of Sburb defending your honour. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I was thinking of getting a pet goose. :B  
GG: Do you have geese on your planet?  
GG: I bet you would just adore them!  
GG: Honk honk honk! :)  
GG: What brought this on you say? Well, I had gone with Roxy down to the pond near her new house to feed the ducks and a flock of geese appeared.  
GG: They went off as soon as they saw us with the ducks- Honk honk honking all over the place.  
GG: And all I could think was of you.  
GG: Why did you honk all the time? I don't think any of the other aliens honked. Was it a clown thing?  
GG: I just found it adorable, especially when you honked while laughing. It's like how people would snort.   
GG: Instead you honked like some adorable purple alien goose clown. :B  
GG: Well, just letting you know I may be adding some geese to the Crocker family. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Crocker Corp at full speed ahead!  
GG: Mama Lalonde and Miss Lalonde have been supervising the new paths of the company- those two are so smart!  
GG: Rose is also helping, using her Seer abilities to see the most beneficial path for all of us.  
GG: Some of the ideas are odd, such as making strife practice mandatory for all Crocker employees and creating many of the things the Batterwitch invented. But as Roxy says they are just too useful to not have.  
GG: Likewise Dirk and Jade (both versions) has been helping with Drones- not a murdeous kind! They are to help with labour, security, cleaning the planet of pollutants and to attend tasks too dangerous for most people.  
GG: Though they have made sure the Drones have defensive weaponry.  
GG: 'Just in case,' Rose says.  
GG: We've also been expanding Crocker Corp even more, using it to help erase poverty and homelessness. :)  
GG: I know it may sound ridiculous but we may be able to turn Earth into a genuine paradise for all.  
GG: I wish you were around to see it!   
GG: I think you would like it here.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Guess what my new title is!  
GG: Go on, guess! :)  
GG: I'll give you a hint- it involves classy white jackets, numerous clipboards and grievous injuries!  
GG: If you guessed 'Doctor' then you win, buster!  
GG: That's right, I am now officially "Doctor Jane"! :)  
GG: After all I have these healing hands, so I might as well serve the great good! Also, I get a dashing coat in the process. :B  
GG: Hoo hoo, Roxy used to tease me, with calling me Doctor Jane years ago yet who's laughing now? :)  
GG: It was a grueling three years learning all the nooks and cranny's of medicine!  
GG: Wait, I shouldn't have said nook, that's like a troll  
GG: Um.  
GG: :B  
GG: Well anyway, I'm a Doctor now! I'm in charge of the largest Crocker Corp Hospital in the world! I'm being taught the ropes of managing a hospital but gosh I am having a wonderful time so far- I really feel as if I'm finally making a difference. :)  
GG: We've made sure our Hospitals are cheap, well-stocked, well-staffed and easily assessable for anyone in need.  
GG: My father was so proud of me when I graduated with my medical degree. And I have just been positively glowing since I received it!  
GG: Everyone has been so supportive and wonderful. :)  
GG: I wonder, do trolls have doctors?  
GG: I bet I could bet any of your doctors in a medical fight!  
GG: Anyway, just wanted to share the good news! :)  
GG: Doctor Jane has to go. :B  
GG: <3   
  
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GG: Shucks buster, being a doctor is hard work!  
GG: I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park, gosh no!  
GG: I am so exhausted some days, after a hard shift at work...  
GG: Especially the bad ones, when I cannot save someone. :(  
GG: I usually cry after those days. My dad will always help me through those rough patches and Roxy or John will usually come over.  
GG: I know, I should move out of my father's house; none of us are poor. Infact all of us are bondafide millionaire. :B   
GG: So it would be easy enough for me to find a new home to move to.  
GG: But I have a crippling fear that if I move out my dad will vanish, like he did when I entred the game.  
GG: Then Caliborn mocked me, saying he was dead...he was such a vile bastard.  
GG: I know, we aren't in Sburb anymore. But the scars will still be there.  
GG: They always will be.  
GG: But I'll persevere, and I will help those who need it. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I've got some good news and some bad news!  
GG: The good news is that Jade and the Grand Harley's just figured out how to create a compact version of hyper space!  
GG: The bad news is one of the Lalonde's burned their house down during a drunken weekend.  
GG: None of the Lalonde's are blabbing about which one, though.  
GG: But Rose was quite upset at loosing so many of her books (she had copies but it isn't the same) while Mama Lalonde was raging about all the scarves that got burnt. Likewise Miss Lalonde was fairly irate at her drafts getting destroyed and Roxy was enraged over the fire in general.  
GG: Well, that's what you get when you attempt to summon a Horrorterror with jet plane fuel, several dead cats and a bazooka! Even drunk I think they would know better!  
GG: It just seemed very...odd?  
GG: Perhaps it is a Lalonde ritual to set the neighbourhood on fire. Goodness knows Roxy had to deal with it once.  
GG: But the hyper space discover of Jade and her Grandparents -one of who is her?- makes up for it!  
GG: They say it will take a while before it can be practical for use, but it is exciting even if I don't understand half of it.  
GG: I wonder if any of your friends have made some exciting space discoveries?  
GG: I think Rose mentioned Kanaya was your space player.  
GG: Or even any of your assortment of friends, have they made any interesting discoveries?   
GG: Well, I would hope so- it's so exciting when your friends invent something.  
GG: Not when they burn down their houses due to drunken antics, though! :B  
GG: Hopefully none of your friends have done that, hoo hoo!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Are you even alive?  
GG: I really hope you are. I try to stay optimistic, but sometimes I remember that some people didn't come back with us.  
GG: John told me about Nannasprite- the sprite that was of the alternative version of me.  
GG: He also told me about Davesprite.   
GG: I knew the sprites we had used to be trolls, even though all mine did was scream and explode.  
GG: But I also knew you had alternative selves in the dreambubbles as well.   
GG: Or...relatives, I think?  
GG: So did your sessions merge?  
GG: Or were the trolls who were dead and had already tried Sburb died along with it?  
GG: ...  
GG: I don't know, I doubt worrying over it like a mother duck is going to help.  
GG: But I still do worry.  
GG: :(  
GG: Well, sometimes it's better off not knowing.  
GG: Goodness knows it's like a kick from a mule when I found out about the state of Earth and the annihilation of the human race back during the game.  
GG: Still...  
GG: I just hope you're alright regardless.  
GG: I hope you're alive.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I totally beat John in a Strife today! :B  
GG: And who says someone's Grandma can't beat her grandson in a fight, hoo hoo!  
GG: This was even with us both using our Godtier powers!  
GG: Though mine aren't exactly offensive.  
GG: I think it's due to our class- Maids apparently cultivate and care for their aspect. :)  
GG: And Heirs are protected by their aspect, thus John's control over wind.  
GG: Didn't stop me from handing it to him, though!  
GG: I feel so proud- I've never really...accomplished much in sburb apart from breaking tables and baking like a mad woman, much less being a competent fighter.  
GG: But here I am, having beat John in a Strife!  
GG: Not bad for a Maid. :)  
GG: Just thought you'd like to know!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: We are now harvesting meteors!  
GG: Or...asteroids? Well, giant space rocks!  
GG: What brought this on, you say?  
GG: Well, Mama Lalonde pointed out many materials we need for production and to create more variants of products were in ample supply on asteroids. Because of this Jade and Dirk have been working together to create a way of quickly and efficiently harvesting materials.  
GG: Those two are so so smart! At least Grandma and Grandpa Harley have other hobbies, rather than traipsing around space and robots all the time.   
GG: When they are in a room together my brain turns into noodles trying to understand everything!  
GG: At least Jake and I have that much in common; even Roxy is able to contribute to those conversations!  
GG: But as I was saying, our harvesting is in full swing!  
GG: We'll be able to put these materials to good use and make even more beneficial technology for humanity, and easily assessable for anyone.  
GG: Who knows what's next?  
GG: Maybe we'll start a new city on the moon, hoo hoo! :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Four years.  
GG: Time flies when you're having fun. :B  
GG: But wow, sometimes this feels all like some wonderful dream.  
GG: Everything is just so perfect. :)  
GG: Well, I mean we still fight and have arguments and natural disasters happened...  
GG: But we are making such strides!  
GG: Dubious the world-spanning Crocker Corp may have started out as, it's now the number one in so many different humanitarian and benefical agencies!  
GG: Mama Lalonde has made many a drunk speech at festivals and award cermonies. :)  
GG: She's usually the one to accept them, father doesn't like the food and noise at these celebrations and Miss Lalonde finds it annoying having to ninja her way past all the paparazzi. :B  
GG: But we (Crocker Corp) have been given a Nobel peace prize for 'excellence in humanitarian acts'.  
GG: Quite a title. :)  
GG: It's one of my mantle pieces in the living room.  
GG: Do trolls have award ceremonies?  
GG: Considering how militant your species is I doubt you have prizes for peace but...  
GG: Excellence in combat? Speculator performance in clown antics?  
GG: Anyway, just wanted to let you know what happened for this anniversary. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Sometimes I will wear my Maid of Life outfit.  
GG: I'll just put it on and do typical menial tasks, such as cooking, cleaning or gardening.  
GG: Oddly enough the outfit just seems to fit, no matter how much I've grown.  
GG: Perks of being a God, I guess. Never have to bother a seamstress again!  
GG: I do wish it was a better colour, though.  
GG: I love John's blue colours! Jade's is also wonderful, especially with her sparkly red shoes. :)  
GG: Though I admit an ugly colour palette is an alright compromise when I saw Jake's and Dirk's Godtier outfits!  
GG: Pantaloons and speedos! Hoo hoo hoo! :B  
GG: I laughed so hard I nearly cried when I saw them again!  
GG: The outfits seem so much funnier without some weird rainbow screaming man with a crowbar attacking us.  
GG: Though I admit your outfit took the entire cake. :B  
GG: What WAS with that codpiece?  
GG: It was one of the weirdest and hilarious things I've ever seen!  
GG: Though I do applaud you for not giving a toss about it.  
GG: You didn't bother trying to explain it, you just went ahead and walked around as if you were out for a Sunday stroll.  
GG: Does your Godtier outfit still fit you?  
GG: Hoo hoo, imagine that! Running around on your planet in bright purple and a codpiece!  
GG: Though I never really got the codpiece thing since down there you didn't even look like  
GG: Um.  
GG: Erm, anyway just thought you would want to know about magical laundry!  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I've been helping Jade with her botanical gardens.  
GG: It's incredibly soothing and so much easier now that Grandma Harley managed to reverse engineer teleportation pads.  
GG: So if I start having another chronic low session I'll just bounce over to her place and help.  
GG: The flowers certainly seem to like my presence. :)  
GG: I suppose it's another part of being a God of Life; nature seems to appreciate me a lot more.  
GG: Jade is so intelligent. Sometimes I can scarcely believe she's my age!  
GG: But I suppose that's the same for Dirk and Roxy; they're so smart.   
GG: Must be from living on their own for so long, in such an envrioment.  
GG: Well except for the fact Jake rather debunks that theory...  
GG: I know it isn't nice to talk about my friend like that, but Jake is just so...  
GG: Oblivious. It's painful sometimes.  
GG: It's often downright embarassing, actually.  
GG: Well, at least he's getting better with his Grandma around.  
GG: But regardless, I am discovering I have quite the greenthumb. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: I spent some time with Dirk this week.  
GG: Just making sure all my friends are alright.  
GG: Sometimes I forgot what a self righteous boor he is, though.  
GG: Ugh, it seems it was so much easier to ignore when I was just speaking to him through Betty Bother!  
GG: We've certainly quarreled. Me, mostly, swearing and calling Dirk out on his stuck up attitude.  
GG: He's so smug sometimes. Ugh.  
GG: I love all my friends, but sometimes I want to beat them like second hand mules!  
GG: Things really went to the pot after it shifted to my romance.  
GG: I don't know where Dirk got off, lecturing me about issues of the heart!  
GG: Like I've forgotten the whole incident he had with Jake!  
GG: So what if I have an alien clown as my boyfriend?  
GG: He has no right to lecture me, I am my own young woman darnit!  
GG: The only person who would have ANY influence on my romantic endevours is my father!  
GG: And he has already stated he is fine with it and he trusts my judgement!  
GG: So Dirk can just go and suck on an egg!  
GG: Though his brother (The old version of Dave) overheard my yelling and came to see what the fuss was all about.  
GG: He ended up giving Dirk quite the tongue lashing when he found out what was happening. :B  
GG: I've never seen Dirk squirm that much before, hoo hoo!  
GG: Needless to say, I enjoyed the show.  
GG: After all, it's OUR decisions! No one else!  
GG: Just so you know. :)  
GG: <3 <3 <3  
  
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GG: It's now been half a decade.  
GG: Sounds so much longer than simply saying 'five years'.  
GG: But I can scarcely believe how quickly everything is progressing!  
GG: Jade has been making good use of her discovery with the compact hyper space- we've now officially started construction on the moon!  
GG: Of course Crocker Corp is in the lead with this, and we're making sure everything is safe and secure before we actually start putting people up there.  
GG: Jade's also been applying her knowledge with our spaceships, so we should have easily accessible space travel!  
GG: Not just in our own galaxy, mind you. Soon we will be able to travel beyond!  
GG: Of course the rest of the Harley's, Rose and Dirk have been helping.  
GG: Rose's Seer abilities always know what path is the best for us and she agrees with Dirk's 'weaponise everything' scheme.  
GG: Those two certainly share a lot of traits.  
GG: But in essence most of the ships aren't housing humans yet. We're manning them with Drones and testing their suitability, as well as the stability of the new moon buildings. :B  
GG: But gosh isn't this so exciting!  
GG: Yes I know your species already had space flight! For a very long time apparently!  
GG: But now it's our turn! :B  
GG: What better way to celebrate our five-year-anniversary than finally taking a giant leap to the stars. :)  
GG: It was the best one we've had to date.   
GG: I wonder how you spent your anniversaries?  
GG: Or is that too sentimental?  
GG: I don't know.  
GG: Perhaps, but I hope you don't mind. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: The teleportation pads have now been globally implemented!  
GG: It has certainly cut down on traffic accidents and road rage.  
GG: Not to mention the fact gas will no longer have a strangle hold over the economy.  
GG: Suck on that, petrol barons!  
GG: The Crockers (plus their Lalonde associates) control this world.  
GG: In a non malicious sense, of course!  
GG: Though sometimes I do share Roxy's opinion some things need to be cleansed with fire.  
GG: Let's just leave it at that, shall we?  
GG: But as I was say, our teleportation pads are in action!  
GG: Or a transportaliser?  
GG: Shucks buster, it's one of those! Or three, there's apparently quite a few names. Or am I thinking of the wrong thing?   
GG: It teleports you from places, so I'm just going to call it a teleportation pad.  
GG: And if I'm wrong, well so be it!  
GG: Regardless, everything is going quite well! I hope you're having a good time as well.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: UGH!  
GG: Sometimes I wish I could just go down there and beat those Strider's black and blue!  
GG: Dirk is just so arrogant and Dave has the sensitivity of a brick!  
GG: At least their old brothers know when to shut up!  
GG: In the other Dirk's case it's literally all the time!  
GG: I completely lost the pot and threw a rage after speaking to Dirk. Then Dave came along and decided to pitch in his incredibly unwarranted comment!  
GG: So I smacked him in the face with a cake and left.  
GG: I will not speak to either of them until they apologise.  
GG: Serves them right!  
  
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GG: I helped Jade fix up her plants again today.  
GG: The island has been hit with some nasty storms lately! Broken trees, shattered windows and flooding!  
GG: Gosh, mother nature can sure make a mess of things.  
GG: But we've all been pitching in to help with the damage.  
GG: Jade was particularly upset about her garden; some of the plants there were one-of-a-kind.  
GG: So I spent quite a bit healing the plants if I was able to.  
GG: But so much was destroyed! At least nothing was on fire...  
GG: It was good to see Jade and Jake again, even if the situation left a lot to be desire.  
GG: Did you have to deal with many storms? You mentioned that you lived near the ocean.  
GG: While the view is beautiful is also means you're right in the firing zone for a storm!  
GG: But I bet having all that fresh sea air all the time would've been wonderful!  
GG: Did you swim in the sea?  
GG: Your planet was full of such dangerous beasts but surely you wanted to have a quick dip at some point. :B  
GG: We've all been swimming the island at some point and golly it is wonderful! So fresh and clean!  
GG: It does get very chilly if you don't keep an eye on the sun though.  
GG: Though...your species is noctural isn't it?  
GG: So keep an eye on the moon?  
GG: You never really seemed bothered by light on my planet, but then it was a horrid, half-dead heap anyway.  
GG: Well, maybe you've finally managed to have some fun in the ocean. Hope you're doing well. :)  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: More relationship drama, if you could believe it.  
GG: John confided in me that he wanted to date.   
GG: I can understand- after all, we're both over twenty years old.  
GG: However he admitted to me that whenever he tries to actually date someone he just feels so...  
GG: Dishonest.  
GG: It's ridulous and I told him as much.  
GG: But I also told him I felt the same.  
GG: I haven't cheated on you, I promise! :(  
GG: I meant in terms of trying to get new friends.  
GG: I know it's ridulous- it's been nearly six years but I agree with John and said as much.  
GG: I too feel like I'm being dishonest when I attempt to befriend someone outside of our group. The world already knows me as the 'Miracle doctor' due to my Life abilities, though I've never explained my powers. Same with Jade. We're the only two with 'public' powers. But we remain vague and ambigious when we are interviewed or questioned over them.  
GG: Because what can we say?  
GG: We played a game that destroyed the planet, met an alien race, created a magical frog who is our entire universe, became Gods, killed Betty Crocker who was my great-great grandmother who was really an evil alien fish empress and nearly all died to a giant Lord of Time with a technicolour dreamcoat?  
GG: No, we'll just remain mysterious and weird.   
GG: But it also hampers our abilities to be friends with new people; we can never be truly honest without being seen as insane can we?  
GG: So we can be friends...just never close friends.  
GG: Sometimes it's so depressing, knowing Sburb has such a grip on all of us.  
GG: John was extremely grateful for my words though, as saddened as they were. :(  
GG: Sometimes it's such a darn ache being so different from everyone else, to have lived through things most would deem some kinda of deluded fantasy.  
GG: But we'll always have each other.  
GG: <3 <3 <3  
  
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GG: Another year, another get-together.  
GG: This time we were at Dave's place. He lives in France because it's 'ironic' or some such reason.  
GG: Truthfully I think he moved there because he's fond of the food. He may have the other fooled, but not a food master such as myself. :B  
GG: But we spent most of the anniversary sitting around then frolicking around the Eiffel tower while fairly tipsy.  
GG: Mama Lalonde and Mister Strider (Dirk's version) wound up getting life-long bans while we are there.  
GG: I have no idea what happened since we were on a different floor, but Rose just told us it was "terribly embarrassing and I'm scarred for life."  
GG: Bunch of troublemakers, those two!  
GG: Miss Lalonde nearly wound up getting in a fist-fight with the paparazzi. Roxy egging her on probably didn't help.  
GG: Grandpa Harley then ended up shooting some pigeons and we had to abscond.  
GG: What is with those Harley's and their hatred of small flying critters?  
GG: I caught Jade shooting some butterflies and Jake tends to panic when a dragonfly gets too close to him.  
GG: Grandma Harley is just as bad, shooting a moth of all things with a grenade launcher!  
GG: Good grief.  
GG: It was an interesting anniversary though, I'll give it that. :B  
GG: And at the end of it we were all happy and tipsy and grateful to be alive.  
GG: Do you and your friends celebrate the end of Sburb?  
GG: It's a nice way to get back together and bond.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Guess what I did today!  
GG: I was on a talkshow doing an interview! It's the first time I decided to do one of the big, primetime ones. Usually I keep them short, or have my Father or Miss/Mama Lalonde with me. I was a little bit nervous, but that all evaporated when they annouced me!  
GG: "Young Miss Jane Crocker, inheritor to the largest and most powerful industry on earth and world-renowned surgeon who runs the largest hospital and know as the Miracle Doctor."  
GG: I admit, I was fairly glowing when they announced me with that!  
GG: It's just so wonderful having all our hard work recognised!  
GG: I wore a beautiful blue dress which Rose made for me. :)  
GG: I had asked her especially; her seamstress work is remarkable!  
GG: She even confided in me she enjoys being a seamstress (and a world renowned one at that!) because it makes her feel close to Kanaya.  
GG: I certainly can't fault her for that!  
GG: Goodness knows I've brought my fair share of clown paraphernalia over the years. :B  
GG: As I was saying, Rose made me a lovely dress. It was like a summer frock with ruffled skirts and it was so light and floaty. :)   
GG: I was also wearing my red glasses. I found they always look lovely with blue.   
GG: Roxy also make me a necklace to wear. She used her void powers and told me it "too fuckin long" to make it just perfect.  
GG: It was beautiful, with a silver chain and a small purple pendant.  
GG: The pendant was the face symbol that you always wore. :)  
GG: I have no idea how Roxy remembered it!  
GG: But I am glad she did. You always had that symbol on your shirt- was it your aspect? Or some troll thing?  
GG: Rose mentioned all the trolls had personal symbols, so I assume that was yours since you always wore it.  
GG: I hope you don't mind me wearing it. :B  
GG: It just really helps remind me of you.  
GG: But back to the interview!  
GG: It was so much fun. I answered every question as truthfully as I could. Though when they asked me how I performed the 'miracles' with my doctoring I just smiled and told them a clown did it, hoo hoo!  
GG: You always seemed to like that word, nearly as much as "Motherfuck". :B  
GG: They also asked me if I had a man in my life.  
GG: I said yes and they quite frankly went mad!  
GG: They then started trying to find out who it is, even going through my list of friends, trying to figure out who it is!  
GG: I admit, my prankster gambit went through the roof as I teased them about my paramour. :)  
GG: But no matter what they did they couldn't pry the answer from me, hoo hoo hoo!  
GG: It was a great day and I was just so excited and overwhelmed after it all.  
GG: I do hope you don't mind me wearing your symbol.  
GG: You can wear mine if you want! :B  
GG:<3  
  
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GG: Jake has now won the world marksmanship competition three years running!  
GG: He and Jade used to be fierce competitors in it, until Jade got distracted by the whole moon colony we're building and is devoting most of her time to that.  
GG: Jake is still extremely proud of his achievement! I'm glad he won.  
GG: Though hearing Grandma Harley give him an earful for wearing inappropriately short shorts to the championship was amusing. Especially when she did it on live televison, hoo hoo!  
GG: Well, she should be glad he didn't decide to wear his godtier outfit to it! :B  
GG: Oh gosh, that outfit. What was Sburb thinking?  
GG: It was nearly as hilariously inappropriate as yours.   
GG: But anyway, do you have any marksmen in your group?  
GG: I wonder if you have marksmanship competitions on your world...  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Seven years!  
GG: This time it was Rose's turn to host us! It was a very classy party and Rose and Miss Lalonde greatly appreciated the red velvet cake myself and John made for the occasion.  
GG: Mama Lalonde did drunkenly grope my father (I'm not too sure it was an actual mistake) and Jake fell down the stairs and broke his wrist.   
GG: Luckily the Miracle Doctor was in and I healed him right up!  
GG: I'm not as good with healing hang overs though. :(  
GG: But it does seem I recover from them a lot quicker! So I did play some pranks the morning afterwards, such as 'accidentally' exploding a paper bag.  
GG: But it was a very nice and relaxed anniversary this time.  
GG: No arrests, no assault charges, no excessive vomiting.   
GG: A win-win I say! :B  
GG: It was just a nice night.  
GG: Hope your seventh year was just as calming as mine was.  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Our moon colony is fully operational! :B  
GG: I've been up here for nearly a week. :)  
GG: Unfortunately it turns out the moon is not made of cheese. Darnit!  
GG: But the view is just spectacular. The stars are so beautiful.  
GG: I wonder which star your planet is attatched to?  
GG: Apparently the sun was vicious, burning eyes right out of peoples heads!  
GG: Your planet sounds horrible. :(  
GG: I wish you were here, so you could see my planet. My home planet, not that horrid dead husk Sburb gave me.  
GG: Must have been a great joke for the game to give a Life player a dead planet.   
GG: Or perhaps that was part of my quests? To restore life? Gosh, I don't know.  
GG: But now we are offically moon people! :B  
GG: I've been helping Jade and Grandma with the plant life in the science block. After all, the plant life helps supply oxygen around the facilities; even though we have already created oxygen pumps, it never hurts to have some more air. :)  
GG: We've been distributing the healthiest plants around the facilities and they really do lighten up the place!  
GG: Rose and Dave were adamant we didn't have any dull greys; apparently that's what the meteor looked like and they frankly had enough of it. Can't say I blame them!   
GG: So we've made all the buildings bright with warm colours and large interiors. We don't want anyone going stir-crazy in a hurry.  
GG: I wish you could be here to see it! Especially since we've got a purple-themed room I insisted we implement. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: We've upgraded the Drones some more!  
GG: They have extremely low-tech AI.  
GG: Nothing of AR's complexity, goodness no!  
GG: But basic levels of understand and comprehension. So they aren't just stupid robots anymore.  
GG: Dirk was apprehensive about upgrading the Drones, but he, Roxy and Mama Lalonde have been busy as bees for the last year to make sure nothing could go wrong with their programming!  
GG: Knock on wood. :)  
GG: But with this upgrades the Drones are capable of reacting a lot more intelligently and quickly in times of crisis and distress.  
GG: Rose was very pleased with these new upgrades.   
GG: Golly, I don't know what a Seer of Light can really See but she's been enacting some changes in Crocker Corp.  
GG: Strife is now mandatory for employees, family members and the general population per Crocker Corp policies.  
GG: It seems very excessive to me but Rose just says it just seems 'right' to have this.  
GG: Seers! Obscure about everything I say. :B  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Year number eight.   
GG: Not much to chatter about.  
GG: Another anniversary.  
GG: Another scientific find from the Harleys.  
GG: Another technological discovery from Dirk or Roxy.  
GG: Another drunken party.  
GG: Another year I've spent pining for you.  
GG:   
GG:   
GG:   
GG:   
GG: Where are you?  
  
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GG: I've been feeling down in the dumps for the past few months.  
GG: So I've handed over the reigns of Crocker Corp to my father and the Lalonde's and taken time off from my doctors work.  
GG: I went to Tibet.  
GG: Namgyal to be precise.  
GG: And  
GG: Well, I became a Buddhist.  
GG: I know, what is religion to a God?  
GG: But Buddhism just...fits.  
GG: I wonder if it appeals to my status as a Life player?   
GG: A large part of Buddhism revolves around rebirth and life.  
GG: So no wonder I felt such attraction to this religon when I learned more about it.  
GG: It just felt right.  
GG: So that's how I spent most of the eighth year after Sburb; learning the teachings of Gautama Buddha and the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, the Four Immeasurables...  
GG: Taking the pilgrimage and offering the shrines flowers I had brought back to life...  
GG: Well, I'll explain it fully to you if I ever meet up with you.  
GG: I know you were religious of a sort.  
GG: Maybe we can discuss our respective religions when we meet up again?  
GG: <3  
  
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GG: Year nine!  
GG: I feel wonderful.  
GG: I know it sounds ridiculous but my new-found Buddhism has simply invigorated me.  
GG: I feel so content and...  
GG: Connected to everything.  
GG: When I use my Life powers it's as if I can feel the pulse of nature around me, hear its heart beat.  
GG: It's just beautiful. :B  
GG: But don't worry! I'm not some zealot, gosh no.  
GG: We respect and accept anyone's diverting faith and beliefs.  
GG: I'm just very content now, and I can't help but explain how I've finally feel...like I understand myself better.   
GG: My father was also happy to see me happy; I knew I was making him worried, with my depression. :)  
GG: I've also taken to yoga, which helps me focus.   
GG: Maybe I could lure you into doing some yogic ideals with me. :B  
GG: <3 <3  
  
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GG: I spent a week with Rose, at her house in Venice.  
GG: It was a fairly bitter sweet visit.  
GG: We spoke mostly about you and Kanaya.  
GG: Rose however...she seems convinced you and the rest of your friends are dead.  
GG: She even told me how she's sought solace with Jade and is in a comfortable relationship with her.  
GG: I don't blame her.  
GG: She is still in pain over her first love and wants contact. Intimacy.  
GG: Gosh darnit, I wish I could help her heal.  
GG: But I am in no situation to lecture someone about issues of the heart.  
GG: Neither is our residential heart player, since he can only seem to destroy souls.  
GG: But unlike Rose I just...I just can't move on for some reason.  
GG: I tried, once.  
GG: But all I could think was of an extraterrestrial clown who I still consider my boyfriend and the reason I brought a darn unicycle.  
GG: Those things are hard to use! :(  
GG:   
GG:   
GG: It's just...  
GG: I think you were really lonely.  
GG: When we first got together...  
GG: You just seemed...happier.  
GG: You also touched me whenever you could- hugs, kisses, rubbing up against me like some weird purple cat.  
GG: Or you would just wander up and press yourself against me, like you were trying to merge with me.  
GG: I hope you don't take it the wrong way .  
GG: I just really hope you aren't so lonely anymore.  
GG: I hope you have all your friends.  
GG: I hope you miss me as much as I miss you.  
GG: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3  
  
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GG: Tomorrow is going to be our ten year anniversary.  
GG: John and I have agreed to co-throw the party, with my house being the base of the celebrations.  
GG: We've been discussing a lot of the activities we're going to do, which does cause some kerfuffles amongst us! John and I do differ quite a bit on celebrations.  
GG: The weather is forecast to be beautiful, clear and sunny, so we're going to have most of it outside.  
GG: I'm thinking we can have it in the clearing surrounded by all the trees I planted a few months ago. Seems a healing hand helps a tree grow strong. :B  
GG: Gosh, I'm buzzing just thinking about it!  
GG: I really feel like this decade milestone is going to be a party for the ages, hoo hoo!  
GG: John and I have started baking already and the cake is beautiful to behold!  
GG: I'm usually not one for strutting like a peacock, but we've spent the last few hours just decorating the monster!  
GG: Eight tiers, all based on the players of Sburb.  
GG: It's simply beautiful and I bet both of our fathers are going to have their socks knocked off, hoo hoo! :B  
GG: I wish you were here. :)  
GG: <3 <3 <3 <3  
  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some clarification on how things went down;
> 
> The timeline follows the one leading up to Game Over aka Rose being drunk, Terezi having her sight restored, Jade going grimbark, Vriska being dead. The timeline veers off after Jake and Roxy are jailed and the Beta kids are scattered about the planets, however Aranea didn't pull a Scumbag Serket and wasn't involved in anything. Jake managed to get a hold of his Hope powers and blew up the prison before Jade switched planets and Roxy escaped like in canon and Jade got KO'd by the blast (but didn't die)
> 
> Gamzee had still stolen the ring but he found Calliope in the Dreambubbles instead and gave it to her. She then went and confronted Caliborn and killed in him the ensuing fight before dying from her injuries. This also killed Lord English by proxy, whom was stalled from attacking Calliope when she was resurrected thanks to John locating the Doomed Godtier Calliope in another timeline.
> 
> Gamzee went and found Jane after the death of the Cherubs, when Terezi attempted to attack him during this (like what happened in canon) and Gamzee pretty much beat Terezi to death before he glomped onto Jane, however he didn't do this quick enough and Jane managed to kill Jake in the brief interruption with her trident. (He got better)
> 
> Then the Condesce show up like at the crux of Game Over since Jade was KO'd and Jane was restrained and Condy got killed after a whole brawl between everyone. Her death also broke control over Jade and Jane, and then the Game reset and they were sent back to their restored galaxies.
> 
> I figured if I'm gonna do a post Sburb fic I'm gonna do one of my rarepairs >:(
> 
> A note on Jane's Buddhism; she isn't a strict follower of the faith (her experience in Sburb won't allow her to accept a faith with a 'God' hence her liking Buddhism), she just finds the base philosophies and concepts extremely appealing. And as she said, as a Life player she likes the idea of cycle of life and death and due to her personality many of the practices, such as whole "all sentient beings should be allowed happiness, free of suffering etc" since she's been trying to implement that kind of thing with Crocker Corp. However she isn't a "FOLLOW ALL SCRIPTURE, NEVER DIVERT" Buddhist, she just abides with the base, largest philosophies of Buddhism, while ignoring some of the more trivial things, such as the whole "don't sing, dance" scruples.
> 
> Also fuck you pesterlog formatting.  
> Fuck  
> you


	2. Happy Anniversary

The Tenth anniversary party of Sburb was being held in a large clearing behind Jane's country cottage; tables laden with food, chairs and benches had already been set up and Jane and John were fixing up any last minute details before their friends arrived.

The sky was clear, the sun was shining and there was naught but a breath of wind. Of course, that last part could be accounted to the Heir of Breath who was helping her with the finishing touches to the decorations.

Jane was currently putting the last bit of decorations on the cake John and herself had made for the special occasion.

Hours slaving in the kitchen, breaking eggs, spilling flour, choking on baking powder and mixing ingredients had finally paid off.

The cake was a thing of beauty.

Jane wasn't a vain person by nature but she couldn't help but feel so proud of the massive, six tiered cake that towered over her. Each tier was a different colour and flavour, from chocolate orange and red velvet to rumcake and mango, to coincide with the favourite colour and flavour of the person the cake was based on. Jane and John had argued extensively about how the cake was going to be arranged and in what order. Eventually they compromised with the tiers being stacked from Beta to Alpha and from the order of the last names.

Dozens of fondant orange salamanders, crimson crocodiles, pink turtles and blue iguanas decorated John's, Dave's, Rose's and Jade's cakes, surrounding the carefully crafted Godtier symbols of their respective Hero. Since the consorts for all the Alpha's were dead however, John and Jane were forced to find other options.

Eventually they decided to make tiny meringue angels for Jake's cake, licorice carapacians for Roxy, iced seagulls for Dirk (including tiny versions of Sawtooth and Squareware Jane had spent a whole night methodically carving from fondant) and bright sugar-spun balloons for her own tier.

On the center of the cakes was a massive fondant version the Godtier symbols for each player of Sburb; Jane was currently piping the last tiny Space symbols in vanilla mousse icing on Jade's tier.

She carefully squeezed the piping bag, drawing the final tiny spiral on the side of the cake, taking care not to smudge it as she finally pulled the piping bag away. Jane stepped back, smiling as she took in the sight of the cake; yes, it was an utter _masterpiece_.

"This cake is the most beautiful thing in existence," She declared, "I'll strife anyone who says otherwise."

"Does that mean this party is going to have another fist fight between you and Dave?" John called from where he was fixing up the lights looped around the branches of a mulberry tree, "Because I can admit that was funny as hell but it kinda brought the mood down."

Jane thumbed her nose at him before she set down the piping bag and picked up a can of edible spray glaze.

"That was one time, John. Beside, Dave had it coming," She said huffily as she shook the can vigorously before starting to carefully spray Roxy's cake with pink glaze. She was never going to live that moment down. No matter how much Dave deserved it.

"Ha! I'm so glad Mama Lalonde thought to video all the parties. Seeing my grandma beat my "too cool to show emotions" best friend up is hilarious."

Jane shot John a mocking glare and retorted in a exaggerated old lady's voice, "Careful grandson, before I decided to lecture you about how good youth have it now days."

With a final spray she put the can down, studying the massive cake with a critical eye before slowly circling the heavy-set table it was on in order to analyse it from all angles. John wandered up to the table, having fixed the lights, cocking his head to the side as he likewise looked the cake up and down.

"That is so awesome. _We_ are so awesome for making such an awesome cake."

Jane grinned and on impulse seized John in a hug. He laughed and returned it with gusto, pulling her right off her feet.

"So, I think that's everything!" John exclaimed, setting her back down, "Lights and food are good to go. Knowing the Lalonde's they'll be bringing most of their body weight in booze-"

"Heeeey, how's my best babe?!"

Jane gave a yelp as a hand suddenly grabbed her butt, causing her to jump. John sprang backwards to avoid being bowled over and she barely had to time to turn around before an excited Lalonde pounced on her.

Jane laughed as she enthusiastically hugged her friend back, Roxy's long hair tickling her nose. Roxy pulled back from her, hands resting on Jane's shoulders, "Oh _god_ , don't you look like the dream housewife/cooperation mistress, eh? With that cute as fuck lil white summer dress and all 'em teeny weeny poka dots over every it, damn you can make me some cakes anytime as long as you carry on wearing that get-up."

With a snort Jane gave Roxy a playful shove, "Yes, and you don't look like some saucy scientist," she replied in teasing tones, gesturing towards the belted lab jacket and short skirt her friend was wearing.

Roxy flicked her long hair to the side in an elaborate flourish and struck a sultry pose, "Hey, say the word and I'll be your lil' spicy scientist lover on the side."

"Oh god, what have you two being doing at HQ?" John groaned, expression pained.

Jane waved him off, saying tartly, "Oh you know, just discussing potential love scandals for the media to go insane about."

"Ha! I bet you guys are just trying to rail up Miss Lalonde again," John said, straightening the cufflinks of his blue suit, "You know how she hates paparazzi."

Roxy let out a loud snort at that, "Of cause she does, but I know she totes loves the challenge of outwittin' that bunch. Some of them are sneaky as fuck."

"Well yeah, but she shouldn't provoke those piranhas," Jane protested, "It's bad enough the Drones keep on finding them in the shrubs outside our headquarters, we don't need you Lalonde's poking at them."

"Or what, huh?" Roxy smirked, dark lips curving, "Ya gonna cast me out for that hunky chunky you worship now?"

Jane burst out laughing, "Okay first off, you're confusing Gautama Buddha with Budai, and secondly you are my number one scientist- oh no wait, there's Jade and Dirk. Maybe I should make you three fight to the death in my lavish underground dungeons-"

"Underground dungeons?" A familiar voice drawled from behind them, "Wow, I always knew Crocker Corp would branch out into more recreational activities though I sure as shit never thought you'd go right to the-"

Roxy was on Dave in an instant, bowling him over mid-sentence with an excited squeal.

"Holy fuck, if it ain't my lil nephew-brother-uncle! Come and give Mama Roxy some lovin'-"

Dave's poker face completely broke over Roxy's intense manhandling since he promptly got crushed face-first into her partially exposed cleavage. He attempted to squirm out of her hold but she just tightened her relentless grip even more, cackling like a mad woman.

"Well, I see Dave is getting well acquainted with my mother," Rose said in amusement as she walked up the path and entered the clearing, her deep jade-coloured dress contrasting wonderfully with her shock-white hair. She smiled and opened her arms just as John wrapped her up in a tight hug.

Jane watched fondly as her friends embrace- or in Dave and Roxy's case it was Dave was attempting to squirm free, his deep crimson suit wrinkled, as Roxy clung from him like an excited teenager, her shoulder-blade length hair in disarray as she giggled madly.

John set down Rose and the Seer turned and eyed up the gigantic cake with an impressed look, "Good lord, how in the world did you two manage to make such a monster?"

"Tears, pain and severe mental anguish," John joked, sharing a conspirators glance with Jane.

"I'll say, it looks like it took a-" Dave was cut off as Roxy half-fell over his shoulders, inadvertently yanking his coat over his head. Swearing, he swatted at Roxy only for her to tickle him in the ribs and causing him to curse even louder as she laughed.

"Oh come on, bro-uncle! Don't act as if you don't wanna totally gorge your ass sick on that fucking beautiful piece of baking right there!"

Then a flash of bright, pulsing green caused them to reflexively shield their eyes, Roxy falling off of Dave with a shriek, as the Harley's appeared with a sharp _zap_ in the middle of the clearing.

 

* * *

 

It took several more minutes, including the appearance of the rest of the family and ending with Mama Lalonde running over Jane's mailbox with her jeep and nearly driving through the Maid's lounge window, for everyone to congregate in the clearing.

Jane watched as everyone mingled in the yard from where she leaning against the table holding the cake. The sun was shining, making the air warm and dry which just the barest hint of a breeze to prevent anyone from overheating. Everyone came up at one point to congratulate John and herself on their baking prowess, leaving her with a warm glow of accomplishment in her gut that stayed with her for most of the evening as she chattered with her friends.

Jade in particular was incredibly enthusiastic to share her latest experiments and successes, especially in regards to the moon colony. While Jane wasn't exactly a technological whiz like the Witch, she was still fascinated when Jade mentioned she and her older self were extremely close to finally engineering the Alchemiter from Sburb, which they've been trying to create for years. As Jade excitedly explained, Grandma Harley joining in, it would essentially erase the raw mineral and money cost of production since Boondollars, while useless in their new world, would be used to fuel the Alchmiter instead of grist. And many of the Sburb players had obscene amounts of the currency which was useless at the moment. As Jade remarked she still had her punch card shunt and some spare jumper block extensions to, quoting the dog-eared woman, "Really start some awesome shit with science!"

After getting mobbed by the excitable female Harley's for a while, Jade eventually bounced off to speak with Dirk after hauling him right out of the conversation he was having with Jake, whereas Grandma Harley wandered over to where Mama Lalonde was laughing with John's Dad.

Jane shifted against the table, a fond smile on her face. Absently she began to nibble on a cocktail sausage she plucked from one of the plates of food, chuckling as she watched John vanish into the wind after getting Jake in the back of the head with a strawberry cheesecake. After finishing her snack she started to pick at her teeth.

"Hard to believe just a decade ago we were fighting for our lives against a so-called invincible demon," Rose's soft voice broke Jane from her dental hygiene focus, causing the Maid to nearly choke on her toothpick.

"Ack-um hello Rose," Jane coughed out, eyes watering as she fished the little stick from her mouth, "Gosh I'm sorry, just choking on this lethal toothpick."

Rose smiled, "Ah, the fearsome Queen of Crocker Corp, killed by a toothpick."

"At least you'd get an interesting arbitrary from that," Jane laughed, "How have you been, Rose?"

"Quite well, apart from some anxiety issues," Rose said quietly as she joined Jane at the main buffet table, "I also became transfixed by this spectacular mountain of baking you and John managed to make. It is simply...breathtaking."

Jane blushed, a wide, bucktoothed smile appearing, "Thank you, Rose. John and I slaved away for an obscene amount of time on the gosh darn thing! I'm glad it paid off."

"Oh it did. And..."

"Yes, your tier is red velvet."

"Ah, be-still my heart."

"You Lalondes! Cut of the same cloth, I swear."

Jane's smile faded and she look her friend up and down; Rose was wearing a beautiful deep jade dress with matching belt. At her throat was a choker of the same shade, the black pendant in the middle inscribed with the Light symbol. However her face looked wan, as if the Seer had gone without sleep for a while.

"Rose? Do you need me to heal you?" Jane asked in concern, a hand automatically rising from her side and the skin glowing a faint blue.

Rose shook her head, "No, there is no need for healing. I may be coming up to another...crash week, if the sinking feeling in the gut is anything to go by."

The Maid reluctantly lowered her hand, though still eying Rose with concern. She didn't press the issue. The two women remained in companionable silence for a few minutes, watching their family and friends before Rose broke it.

"A decade. Hard to believe sometimes. Sometimes it seems like a wonderful dream."

"You're getting nearly as bad as Jake," Jane said, amused, "Did I tell you about the time I got a hysterical call from him at three in the morning? Apparently the poor lad had quite the terrible dream about being back in Derse and wanted to make sure I wasn't insane and evil. That happened only a few months ago. And there was that time I had a panic attack when I tried a headband on..."

Rose grimaced, "Seems even after all these years Sburb will lessen its hold on us, but never let us go. Helps you remember it all really happened but..."

"Yes...it's a darn shame, but I suppose it would be even odder if we didn't have scars left over. But we are alive and we have each other."

The Seer glanced away, dark lips pinched, "Not all of us."

"...Indeed."

The silence returned but it was more contemplative than depressed. Jane absently raised a hand to her sternum, trailing the pads of her fingers along the purple symbol at her throat. Melancholy swelled in her gut and she made no effort to stop it. These anniversaries were just as much about celebrating they were alive as they were about reminiscing back on their session and everything that had happened.

"Hello, ladies!" Jake's cheery greeting broke Rose and Jane from their somber air, the two glancing up at the excitable man who bounded up to them. Jane barely had time to yelp before she was wrapped up in a firm hug and crushed against Jake's muscular chest. Though Jane was taller than him she still had the breath squeezed right out of her from his enthusiastic embrace.

Jake eventually released her, excitedly babbling about something before dolling out the same treatment on Rose, smothering her protest under another bone-crushing manhug. Jane gasped, struggling to draw air back into her lungs as she regained her balance- age hadn't deterred Jake's enthusiasm at all. At least Grandpa Harley had mellowed out considerably with his old age.

"Oo, are we getting some of that gorgeous as fuck cake?" Mama Lalonde asked as she tottered over, her arms wrapped firmly around John's Dad, "Because I would gladly choke on that speculcal- specularyl- err beautiful bit of baking."

"Yeah, I was never a man for crocker-made baking but this I'll make an exception for," Mister Strider remarked as he flashstepped past the drunken Lalonde's and next Rose, who was delicately sipping from a flute of champagne.

"Hey, that's our cake!" John said, appearing next to Jane with a swirl of wind, "Jane is going to cut it first since she did the most work."

"Oh John, we both-"

"Noooo, you spent way more time on all the decorations and that took way longer than the actual baking! Get your butt over there and cut this cake, Missy."

"Indeed," Jane's father added, a broad smile on his face as he appraised the giant cake, "Such a masterpiece is cut by the main baker and you, my daughter, have outdone yourself. And you as well, John."

Jane blushed furiously at the praise, sharing a delighted glance with John before speaking, "Well, seems everyone is eyeing up the masterpiece! Then in the words of someone historians are fairly sure were never even uttered, let them eat cake!"

With practiced ease she ejected a long knife from her sylladex and stepped up before the master piece of the party. She glanced over her shoulder at her friends and family, smiled brightly before she sliced the knife through the thick blue icing of her tier, the blade narrowing missing a purple sugar-spun balloon.

Jane quickly and cleanly sliced out a thick wedge, deposited it neatly on a plate and offered the handle of the blade to the group with a bucktoothed smile.

"Now, who wants to cut _their_ tiers?"

 

* * *

 

Hours later, after immense gorging, drinking and merriment topped off with the sun slowly sinking down to the horizon and painting the sky in all the colours of fire, Jane found herself seated underneath one of the many trees circling the clearing, sitting on her side to avoid ruffling her white dress. She was absentmindedly eating at a small slice of peanut brownie while resting her hand against the rough bark of the tree. Small pulses ran through the trunk and this close she could feel the sluggish movement of the sap and the slumbering life within the plant.

The older version of Dirk did wandered past at one point and said hello. Or rather he just looked at her with an utterly blank expression, she said hello and he continued on his way after giving her a brief nod.

Jane sighed and leaned back against the tree, taking another bite from the brownie. She enjoyed the tranquility of the last legs of the celebration and luckily enough there were no fist fights this time, much to Mama Lalonde's and Roxy's disappointment.

Suddenly a small beeping disturbed her tranquility; Jane frowned, looking down at her wrist at the crimson Crocker Corp watch adorning it. A small light was flashing, signalling she had an urgent message.

With a grunt she set down the plate and pressed a button on the watch; a small holographic display popped up. Concerned at the amount of messages she'd just received marked 'urgent' and 'critical' she quickly opened the first one. Slowly a frown appeared on her face, getting deeper and deeper as she quickly browsed the rest of her messages.

With a flash Dirk suddenly appeared before her, flanked by Jade.

"We've got a problem."

"I gathered that," Jane said as she got to her feet. She brushed off the skirts of her dress, her good mood instantly evaporating.

Jade gave an angry growl, dog-ears flattening against her head, "I've gotten reports all the Drones and machinery we have on the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter have suddenly stopped responding."

"Why?" Jane barked, automatically shifting into hardass CEO mode, "All the messages I received simply tell me there is extreme communication failure from the harvesting Drones and home base."

Absently she was aware many of her friends and family were looking over at them, with Grandma and Grandpa Harley approaching the group.

"We don't know," Dirk said, irritation in his voice. He wilted somewhat under Jane's glare but didn't budge.

"I think we need to go to HQ," Jade said, worry etched in her face, "They wouldn't alert us all if something wasn't going really fucking wrong. Not today."

"Sweeties?' Mama Lalonde tottered up to them, martini glass in hand but her expression was alert and her eyes were focused, "Getting some harsh naggin' from my message box."

"Fuck yeah, my box is going fuckin' insane. Someone is screwin' wid our shit," Roxy added, a scowl on her face.

"Rose? Rose, are you okay?" John's concerned voice caught Jane's attention and she glanced over at her grandson/grandfather. He was hesitantly shaking Rose's shoulder but she was ignoring him, instead staring blindly up into the sky, lips parted and face ashen.

Dave frowned, "What the hell is hap-"

"Moon colony just went silent," Jade voice cut over his, sharp and cold. Her green eyes were narrowed as she shifted through the telegraphic display of her own watch, "Someone is fucking up our shit."

"Wait..." The odd tone of dread in Grandma Harley's voice caused Jane to look over at her in concern; the old woman's face was a tight frown as she poked at her touchscreen PDA, "Some of our satellites caught a few images before they were destroyed- they haven't gone off line however, they've been hacked. As mini-me says _someone is fucking up our shit._ "

Miss Lalonde's voice, harsh and practical, sounded out, "Is there any leads on this?"

"On what?" Jade asked, her skirts swirling as she turned angrily, "We don't even know what is happening, we-"

"Quiet."

The word was spoken by John, hard and forceful. Everyone looked over at the Heir, who was standing next to Rose with his hand on her shaking shoulder. He was staring up into the fire-coloured sky, following Rose's stare.

"Son? What is it?" His father prompted gently after a few seconds of terse silence.

"Can't you hear it?" John asked, his gaze never shifting, "I...I can feel something in the air. It's moving, quickly. Something...something _big_."

Everyone exchanged confused looks and looked skyward. For a long moment there was nothing then a very faint humming began to rise in the air. It seemed almost like...engines?

Jane squinted behind her glasses, trying to locate the source of the noise. A ship, perhaps? It wasn't uncommon, due to the now fairly widespread usage of actual space ships but it wasn't usual for one to come so far into the country.

She doubted it was something that good. Even now she could hear the panicked beeping of her watch as she received even more alerts and urgent messages. Judging from the expressions on Dirk's, the two Jade's and Roxy's they were likewise getting bombarded by distress calls.

The humming got even louder and Jane stared blindly up in the sky. Then she blinked as a vast shape began to slowly materialise through the clouds. Slowly, a vast silhouette fell across the country side. A hideously familiar silhouette, with three massive points at the front of a shapely angled plow.

Jane blanched, suddenly sixteen again, terrified and awed while seeing that horrid shape for the first time just before she was plucked into the Medium of Sburb. She was vaguely aware of panicked cursing and gasps from her friends as they watched the gigantic crimson shape of the Battleship Condescension descended from the sky like a massive, demented trident of scarlet.

Utter panic, dread and disbelief slowed Jane's thoughts to a muddled mush. A single word escaped her lips.

"Shit."


	3. Face-to-face

"I want the whole planet on lockdown, you hear me? I want Red Alert Omega sirens going off right _now._ "

"Rose is overseeing that and sirens have been activated worldwide but apparently the President isn't-"

"I quite frankly don't give a hoot what she thinks. These aliens are not friendly and they are not here to make peace with us. I don't want anyone panicing and making contact with the Condesce, thinking they can talk sense into her or plea for some kind of mercy."

"I know that, Jane, and Rose has already sent out warnings to all the world leaders and Jade is going to bring them to the bunker here as soon as she's gotten their go-ahead. Actually, she's planning to grab them all regardless."

"Good work John, keep me posted on when Rose and Jade achieve that. Roxy!"

"What's up, Doctor Jane?"

"Do you have any idea if there is more of them? Or is it just _her_ out there?"

"I've already used my mad skills to boot those fuckers outta our network and I'mma simultaneously talkin' to you and fighting off more attacks from those assholes. But I've managed to access the cameras and sensors on our space station and we have a fuckload more of those grotty-as-shit ships hoverin' just outside our orbit. The Waterbitch didn't come alone. She brought a fucking armada."

"Well that is just bloody fantastic."

Jane was currently storming down the hallway at the Crocker Corp main facility towards the main control room. The instant all of them had taken in the sight of the Battleship Condescension Jade had immediately teleported them to the Head Quarters of Crocker Corp, an absolutely massive facility that was essentially its own city. It was where all the main research, information and control for the Betty Crocker products were created, tested and distributed at.

It was here that Jane and the others had been notified of the panic among the general populace that had spread like wildfire as the Condesce's ship leisurely made its way across the country, seemingly making its way to the Head Quarters Jane and her friends were currently at. 

Rose had theorised that the Condesce had some inkling to where the real power of the planet earth actually was. However the need to round up the world leaders had cut the Seer's speculations short and she had left with Jade after arriving, leaving Jane at the helm of main Crocker Corp facility.

Jane had changed from her white summer frock into her formal pencil skirt and tidy business blouse, coloured in the crimson of Crocker Corp. Attached to her collar were two symbols; one was the spoon of the Betty Crocker brand while the other was the curling green tendrils of her aspect. Jane knew it was ironic to confront the original Batterwitch in the scarlet of the corporation but she'd been damned if she would be cowered into changing. 

All of her friends, especially the godtiers, had no idea if the Condesce had any recollection of Sburb. But as Roxy pointed out Dirk and her made certain none of the creations from Crocker Crop used any of the Batterwitch's coding, so she wouldn't be able to simply input an override code and take control even if the alien Empress did remember Crocker Corp.

Following along behind Jane as she walked towards the massive doors were her family, barring some absences; Dirk, Mama Lalonde, Jade and the two elder Harley's had already left to take personal control of several facilities in the head quarters in preparation for an invasion. Roxy was keeping pace with her on the left while her worried-looking father was on her immediate right. The rest of the group followed closely at her heels, most of them likewise having switched to more practical, business orientated clothing as they discussed the situation in low tones. 

The doors to the control room automatically swung open as soon as she got close allowing her to stroll through, her expression stern. Dozen of Crocker Corp employees, likewise wearing the scarlet of the corporation, were typing at fanatical rates on the computers which oversaw the majority of Crocker Corp's activities in the massive, dome-like room. Most of the computers where on the lower level of the room, while the large CEO chair was in a slightly raised plinth in the center, facing the gigantic screen adoring the upper portion of the wall. Jane gave no response to the greetings from the people who noticed her enter apart from a brisk nod. 

She seated herself in the CEO chair in the middle of the room, crossing her legs and quickly tapped the button on the left arm of the seat, causing a small holographic keyboard to pop up. Roxy and her father stayed on either side of her, Roxy typing away on her PDA while her father stood ramrod straight, expression concerned. The rest of her friends where grouped a few feet away, muttering to each other in undertone. Jane paused for a few seconds before she tapped out a command and the world-wide surveillance system popped up on the massive screen. With a few taps of the keys, Jane zeroed in one the desired object.

The Battleship Condescension. 

The massive ship was leisurely making its way over the city, no attempt at hiding, and heading straight towards Crocker Corp Head Quarters.

"Why is she coming _here_?" Jake asked in hushed tones, as if afraid to disturb anyone.

"The bitch ain't stupid," Roxy growled, still typing away on her PDA, "Crocker Corp fuckin' owns this world. She knows this place is the true power. Hence her parking her grotty ass in our fuckin' front law."

"But she isn't even being subtle, she's out there bold as brass! I though the Witch was all downright dastardly and sneaky when she took over Earth before."

This time it was Miss Lalonde who spoke, her voice calm and controlled, "That is because she was the last of her kind. Now she has her armada with her. No need to be subtle when brute force is readily available, especially for the likes of her."

The urgency of the situation was so great none of the employees in the room paused or even glanced up as the group discussed their previous encounters with the troll Empress. Instead they all remained focus on their tasks, issuing orders, alarms and alerts.

"Miss Crocker?" One of communications officers in the lower level called out to her, a nervous young man whose expression was taunt with concern.

"What is it, Mister Lorew?" 

"We...we are getting hailed- it seems the alien wishes to contact you through the main link," The man gestured to the massive screen, "Should I put the call through?"

Jane was silent for a while before glancing at Roxy and asking, "How are we getting with evacuations? How many are in the burrows?"

The burrows (or as Roxy called them, 'mouseholes')had been another idea of Rose's, nearly half a decade ago and they had been expanded on rapidly every since. Cities and towns were now as much underground as they were above it. That, combined with all the teleporters the Harley's had implemented, mean traveling from continent to continent was simply a quick walk and a colour swirls of energy. It also helped there was now an 'alien invasion, take shelter' siren, something only introduced the year before. 

It seems Rose's 'It just feels right to do so,' urges were going to come in handy for saving the human race from outright genocide from the Empress and her resurrected navy.

"We've got about sixty percent of everyone down in the mouseholes," Roxy declared, "And Jade is rounding up the last of the leaders and generals and puttin' 'em downstairs in our giant fuckin' vault. We're ready to go full Zion on the Waterbitch 'cause all the Drones are on sleeper alert- the instant she attacks, they'll leap in for some asskickin'. That should give all them stragglers enough time to get their asses downstairs. However I'm for ya talking her in circles for a bit, just to give 'em more time."

Jane was silent for a while; the odds were good, but she knew it was most likely there would be horrific casualties. She felt nauseous and terrified. She may be in charge of the most powerful corporation on the planet and a godtier to boot, but she felt small and vulnerable knowing that an entire army of warmongering, psychopathic aliens were just waiting on their doorstep. And if the _Empress_ was back, then that could mean...

A gentle touch on her hand caused her to jump, startling her from her brooding; she looked over at her father, who gave her an encouraging smile while giving her hand a squeeze. Jane returned the gesture with a faint smile. Then she turned her attention towards the communications officer.

Lorew was still awaiting her orders, his eyes never leaving her as his hand hovering over the button. 

Determined and resolved, Jane spoke, "Open the link, Mr Lorew."

Jane leaned back against the high-backed chair, straightening her glasses as she muttered, "Let's see what she wants."

Stifling silence fell over the room, broken only by the soft _click_ as Lorew pressing a button on his computer. Everyone's eyes were fixed to the screen in anticipation.

The massive screen flicked a few times before switching to black, a fuschia Pisces symbol popping up on the screen. It was glittery, with dozens of sparkles dancing around it.

"Fuckin' obnoxious bitch," she heard Roxy grumble off to her side, voice disgusted. Mister Strider gave a low grunt of agreement.

Then the screen warped and switched to a dimly lit room, completely filled with an obscene amount of gold and jewels. And there, lounging in the center of the room atop a lavish throne, was Her Imperious Condescension. 

Jane's lip twitched but she otherwise made no response. This was the first time Jane had seen the Condesce face-to-face so to speak; she'd had a brief glimpse of the Empress's blood-splattered corpse after the whole tiara-top incident, but all she could make out was outrageous hair and long candycorn-coloured horns before Sburb reset itself.

Now, however, the Empress was reclining in her throne, alive and arrogant with her long legs crossed and trident casually resting up against her side. One bejeweled hand was resting on her knee while the other absentmindedly played with a lock of her voluminous hair.

The ancient troll grinned, showing a maw full of shark teeth. With a slow, deliberate gesture she raised the hand resting on her knee and gave a lazy wave as she winked at them.

"Sup, glubbers!" The Empress called, her voice strong and mockingly sweet.

Jane's nails dug into the steel arms of her chair but she otherwise remained still.

"Now, we don't need ta make things reel awkward do we?" The Condesce continued, still talking in her overly-sweet tone, "'Cause I just swam here for a simple as fuck porpoise, yanno?"

Jane stared at the grinning troll, voice cold as she responded, "And what might that be, may I ask?"

"Yo, just wanna glub wid ya empress, dat you gurl?"

"Yes, I am the currently the one with the...most power." Jane felt odd saying it so...bluntly. Crocker Corp was essentially the controlling global world power, yet she made sure she never became tyrannical or diabolic. Also, publicly acknowledging all the power the company held seemed impolite.

"Whale shit, ain't dat good we got another bitch up here in control, fuckin' mini empress, yo."

Jane scowled, "I'm nothing like you."

The Condesce titled her head, fuschia lips curving into a mocking smile, "Oh shore ya are. We both in charge of everyfin, dat why I wanna glub wid ya. Ain't had a lotta opportunaties ta chat wid the ladies in charge of shit, ya dig?"

"Well fine, then. What do you wish to discuss? Perhaps your blatant disregard for our planet's privacy and how you swan in here and scare the gadzooks out of everyone? Or how there seems to be even more ships perched just out of our orbit? Almost as if they are lying in wait?" 

The Empress snorted, dismissively waving a heavily-ringed hand, "Hey, gotta kelp da insurance close, yo. Dunno if you glubbers are all hiveshit or not. See if we can get some reel epic frondship goin' down here. Come betta rumble sphere buddies, sea water I mean gurl?"

Jane was silent; it seems the Condesce was going the 'let's be friends before I cause your entire species genocide for the hell of it' route. She spared the quick glance to her friends and family; her father was still standing by her side, expression stern and unyielding. When he noticed her gaze he gave her a brief nod, putting a supporting hand on her shoulder. Roxy and Miss Lalonde's faces were just utter hate while Uncle Egbert stood, looking nervous and gripping his hat in his hands. John and Jake looked both cautious yet hostile while both versions of Dave was standing with a casual stance and blank faces. However she knew they were just as nervous as everyone. 

A loud snort caused her gaze to snap back to the screen, where the Condesce was chuckling lowly, leaning back in her throne.

"Oh, dis is good. Fuckin' lookin' at ya lil' advisers- you da top beach here, yo. Ya don't need ta get their approval. Ya just do ship."

"I _value_ my family's input. I listen to the needs of the people. I try and solve their problems, to help them whenever I can. That is what a decent person does when they have this much power."

"HA! Fuckin' ship, you funny as fuck. Lil' preachy, but I can deal wid it."

"Really? Gosh, I am so glad I have your approval. So tell me, how can you help us poor, helpless humans?"

The Condesce either didn't notice or cared about Jane's blatant sarcasm, instead blithely saying, "Whale, just wanna sea the sights, watch da views, figure out what ya do in ya spare time...reel frondly shit, ya dig?" She shrugged carelessly, her long earfins twitching.

Jane's buckteeth caught her low lip as she snarled silently. What a liar. But then, considering how much of a genocidal psychopath she was, it wasn't a surprise she liked to 'play' with her food before squashing it. 

Then Roxy gave her a brief thumbs up and a nod, her expression grim.

Time to stop playing nice, then.

Jane cleared her throat, uncrossing and recrossing her legs as she straightened her back. When she spoke, her tone was cold and clear, "Listen to me very well, Condesce. I have utterly _zero_ interest in ever getting to know you. I am already aware of your psychotic genocidal tendencies and you attempting to trick us with your ridiculously friendly act is starting to really grind my goat. As such, I severely doubt you are just going to simply leave- your ego is too large to do so. So I'm simply going to ask you to _cut the shit_."

The Condesce froze, a bemused expression on her alien face before she threw back her head and laughed, "Oh shit, you got spunk, gurl. I'll give ya that."

"Thank you. Now shut up and get on with it. I won't waste anymore time on your self inflating 'whaling'."

"You fuckin' talkin' shit aboat my puns, bitch?" The Condesce's expression blackened to such a degree she looked completely feral.

"I, quite frankly, don't give an iota of a thought about your ridiculous mannerism. If you think humanity is going to lie down and roll belly-over for you, you are severely mistaken. We will not go quietly; we will not go at all. You are taking on a race who has survived the Reckoning and a psychotic invincible demon. You will find us quite a match."

The Empress sneered, her face becoming twisted and demented, "Beotch, ya don't know what ya gettin' into. I've fuckin' killed so many species I lost count."

"I don't care about your endeavors. But this is one species you will not take down."

Then Roxy jumped in with an angry, "Yeah, that's right bitch! Fuck you!"

With a clatter of jewelry, the Condesce stood, her hand gripping her trident as she snarled, "Fucker, don't take dat tone wid me."

"I and any of my fellow humans can talk to you however they damn want! Mister Lorew, shut her up."

The man barely hesitated before he pressed a button, terminating the communications with the Condesce.

For a long while silence reigned in the control room as static buzzed on the massive screen. Then Jane stood up, feeling light-headed and shaky. As her father caught a hold of her as she took a wobbly step she spoke.

"I think everyone should head underground to the burrows immediately. I'm fairly sure the Condesce is currently in the midst of ordering her fleet to attack Earth."


	4. Regroup

Nearly one million died in the first hour.

Over ten million the first day.

An estimated forty-five million by the end of the first week.

However after that first week the causalities lessened as humanity began to retaliate and get strategic.

As Roxy predicted it was the Drone's interference that prevented an even larger massacre of the human race. While they were only capable of slowing down the massive alien warships and troops, their sacrifice permitted enough time for many lagging cities and towns to evacuate. However not all were successful and numerous towns and countries were nearly eradicated during the initial invasion.

Humanity got struck hard and fast by the Alternian Empire as the initial invasion commence; despite the drills quite a few people either didn't believe the sirens or were under the impression these aliens were somehow friendly or it was just some mass joke. Needless to say the horrific Massacre of Moscow, Lost London and the Slaughter of Shanghai, which combined accounted for nearly thirty million dead for the first week, put those delusions to rest. 

The majority of people were barely able to captchalogue their essentials and flee before the massive Alternian fleet broke orbit scant minutes after Jane's brusque goodbye to the Condesce. The vast ships blackened skies as they appeared over cities and towns, the great thrum of their engines causing the air to vibrate as the massive warships passed overhead.

Luckily -or unluckily- the trolls seemed more interested in physically attacking the human race, rather than bombing it. While this lessened the casualties and deaths from collapsing buildings and infrastructure it was also quite horrific for people who got caught by the psychotic aliens in their first attack, since the trolls seemed to have a demented fascination with the human blood colour.

Human armies were helpful in preventing many outright slaughters of civilians, yet when it came down to it humanity just couldn't match pure brute strength of the trolls. Trolls were strong, fast and vicious; a match for even the most skilled human. As per Rose's advice many of the generals, admirals, defense administrators and World Leaders issued orders that all the troops to fight on the defensive and, if the opportunity arose, to retreat.

Like with most things humans got in conflict with they studied, learned and adapted to it. Humans learned to hide, burrow and sneak. Guerrilla Warfare became the number one tactic against the rampaging army of warmongering aliens. Outright force, in the majority of fights, simply wasn't an option. The trolls had been born, bred and raised on carnage whereas humans had been granted a much more kinder upbringing largely by the effort of, ironically enough, Crocker Corp.

Though just because humans weren't a race of space-faring warmongering psychopaths didn't mean they had no idea how to fight or where just going to roll over without resistance. The mandatory Strife training the Lalonde's had implemented saved countless lives during the invasion and Roxy managed to scramble the communications relays for the Empire when they broke orbit. Likewise, Dirk successfully killed off a dozen Helmsman after infecting the vulnerable code of the ships after Roxy cracked the algorithm; this caused the ships to drop right out of the sky and crash, causing horrific damage and killing all the trolls inside. Though the trolls eventually managed to counteract and defend their network to the point even Roxy was having slow progress in cracking it, Jane still counted it as a success. 

Because of this Roxy spent most of her time holed up in the lab facilities with her Beta counterpart and Grandma Harley, slowly getting another fingerhold in the troll's network. As it was, the three were able to survey all but the highest of rank communications (and even then they only got snippets) while Rose and Dave were able to help with the language translation when they did snatch up errant messages. Dirk on the other hand remained holed up in his workshop, equipped with dozens of underlings and fellow mechanics and machines, and was constantly churning out Drones. Though the Drone's weren't the most versatile fighters they were excellent as cannon fodder and to go on missions too dangerous for humans and provide fire support.

When Roxy wasn't working on cracking the communications she was either creating any material they were in need of, or using her invisibility skills to sneak around troll territory and map their movements. However as she found out some of the trolls were able to detect her mind using their psychics and she was nearly captured several times; however Roxy's use of wiles and fistkind helped her escape, including one memorable occasion when she crashed a zeppelin into an Alternian ship and blew up half of a pyramid in Egypt in the resulting crash. 

Jade was likewise an invaluable asset- her ability to teleport and shrink objects prove lifesaving in many situations. It was also because of her they made such great strides with their evacuation and rescue missions for anyone caught in danger zones. Saving people who were being used as bait in traps was something she could do with a snap of her fingers. However all the constant teleporting and space manipulation was taking its toll on her and she was extremely fatigued for extended periods of time. It got to the point her Grandpa had to drug her with sleeping pills before the Space player died from exhaustion- and Jane knew the great-hearted woman would work herself to death if need be. 

John worked quite closely with his sister, typically helping sabotage the troll's hunting or causing massive windstorms which blinded them or provided cover for any covert operation. Likewise his ability to confound the troll's sense of smell- which was incredibly good and some were able to track a scent for miles- was lifesaving in many situations. He could also shift into the wind, making him an excellent means of crossing enemy territory and delivering messages. Also, being capable to wielding a gigantic hammer which could kill most trolls in one hit helped John in many situations.

Due to being a Time player, Dave excelled at time-sensitive missions due to having a perfect internal clock. His ability to momentarily freeze time meant he could easily bypass most traps the trolls laid down (most of which would horrifically main yet not kill) as well as beheading the current general/leader of the thousands of marauding groups of trolls that constantly hunted any human they could find. He also spent quite a bit observing the trolls and sending back information on behalf of Roxy (Who'd spent hours needling him about it) as well as receiving any troll technology he could find to return to Dirk and Grandma Harley for them to study or reverse engineer.

Rose spent quite a bit of her time attempting to boost her Seer abilities and bamboozling the world leaders that were coordinating their respective counties from the massive facility located deep without the bowels of the main HQ for Crocker Corp. Her use of Echidnas quills also helped defend several resistance camps when she did go into the field; her Seer abilities helping her pin-point the places that needed aid and the best way to go about it with minimal casualties. However it didn't escape Jane's notice that Rose seemed as withdrawn and flighty as she was. The Maid guessed it was something she shared with the Seer- the ridiculous hope brought about by the revival of a race of genocidal aliens, even though it was a topic they haven't broached.

Jake preferred to spend a lot of his time training anyone who was interested in using firearms in the main massive shooting range of the burrows; now that the whole population of humanity was forced to take up arms Jake was swamped with requests and his whole scheduled was filled with tutorials and training. Jane also stuck him on 'morale' duty since his up-beat attitude, even in the face of the potential human annihilation, helped lift many peoples moods. He was also quite proficient at keeping his weapons cleaned and working, even in abysmal conditions due to his upbringing, which Jane also tasked him with teaching the people he helped train with firearms. 

Jake's Beta counterpart spent his time patrolling the inner burrows and isolating any structural weakness or potential infiltration point. Likewise he had offered advice on strengthening the security around the teleporters, keying them to certain human DNA signatures, which made it impossible for any of the trolls to use. Grandpa Harley was also the one who noticed the animal-mimicker which managed to sneak into the burrows; which happened after he shot a wayward butterfly he found inside and revealed an irate teal blooded troll. The resulting alteration ruined one of the kitchenettes and they had to replace a wall yet it highlighted the psychic difference with the trolls and how the twelve Dave and Rose knew weren't a basic blueprint for a troll's potential psychic abilities. 

After that incident Jane was painfully aware of how old Grandma and Grandpa Harley were; both had lost all their original black hair which was now bone white. However she knew she couldn't ban them to their rooms, so instead she kept them on close operations, such as guarding or offering advice to the many World Leaders. Likewise Jane knew that her own father and Uncle were getting up their in age, both had more salt than pepper in their hair and she was loathe to let them anywhere near combat. It was ridiculous because she knew they could fight but she managed to preoccupy them with placing them in charge of culinary cultivation- essentially making sure no one was in danger of starving, overseeing the harvesting and making sure healthy food was always available. Jane knew it was a cop-out, but she couldn't bare the thought of her father or her uncle getting injured due to her brash decisions.

One of the many things Jane was worried about was supposed 'sympathizers' toward the Alternian Empire betraying them. None had come forward publicly but Jane had been told about the Insane Clown Posse and Guy Fieri and the carnage they caused. So she enlisted Miss Lalonde and Mister Strider to aid her with that issue. She summoned them to her head office in the burrows and asked them if they could be in charge of ferreting out any traitors in the ranks. The request didn't sit right with Jane since she was essentially asking the two to spy on fellow people and kill them if they were becoming turncoats. However she knew Earth couldn't turn out like it did in her session- she would die a thousand times before that ever occurred. So she asked the two to do what needed to be done. Thankfully neither of them questions or criticised her, simply accepted her offered job and went on their way. 

A month after the initial invasion humanity began to regain its feet; millions were dead, cities painting scarlet and all the splatters of the rainbow yet humanity survived. Humanity fought back via burrows like militant moles, they triggered landslides, collapsed buildings, blasted the Alternian fleets with Rick Astley, pelted them with Molotov cocktails, infected faygo with poison and left buckets full of acid lurking above half-open doors.

The trolls, however, were nasty opponents. Most were half-mad and uncaring about self-preservation. Severed limbs would sometimes barely slow down the more determined trolls. Despite that, head and gut shots were effective means of killing one. And due to information from Dave and Rose there was some weaknesses of trolls that they could exploit. 

Bright lights proved to be effective against trolls, especially sudden vibrant flashes. Roxy had mass produced millions of cheap cameras that created massive flashes at the click of a button; these were invaluable to people who were caught by trolls and needed to make a hasty abscond. Likewise trolls seemed to have a dislike of venturing about in the day, instead lurking in the shadows and prowling openly during the night.

Because of this, many excursions and skirmishes took place during dusk and twilight- the blending of night and day seemed to be harder for the trolls to navigate and thus easier to avoid or ambush. 

But still, the trolls refused to budge or be cowed. No matter how many of them the humans managed to kill, more just seemed to show up. 

Rose did help with inciting discord amongst some groups of trolls whenever Roxy managed to break into their communications, preying on the odd blood-colour racism to encourage violence amongst them. That was also another thing Jane noted; most trolls legitimately did not seem to care if their fellows got killed. It seemed their quadrants only including the trolls they would even bother to mourn. The whole thing felt incredibly sad and lonely to her.

That was likewise another advantage for the humans; the trolls didn't seem to particularly like cooperating with one another whereas the humans would buckle down and cooperate, from any race, gender and country, humanity was united. Though equality was a stable diet of Crocker Corps decade-long reign after Sburb, quite a few nations had remained standoffish and sometimes rude with one another. Admittedly Jane was quite pleased with this new level of dependence and unity she just...really wished it wasn't the potential human annihilation that brought it about. 

Jane also despised the Condesce's smug sense of superiority; the seadweller could usually be seen strutting around abandoned human monuments, sitting on abandoned thrones and vandalizing numerous ancient statues with her stupid sparkly words. John did manage to nearly hit the Empress in the face with crusty cranberry pie; Rose's aim was better with her quills and she burnt the tips of the Condesce's hair. The irate alien queen then destroyed the entire Empire State building and much of the surrounding city, yet John and Rose managed to abscond with no serious injuries. That little excursion however had verified that the Condesce hadn't inherited any of the powers from Sburb which was some good news.

Though the thing Jane personally hated the most about the entire invasion were the clowns.

Or 'Subjugglators' as Rose called them.

It wasn't just that the Subjugglators were insanely hard to kill; the clown trolls could take a _massive_ amount of damage, be it from bullets, blades, hammers or even explosives before they would go down and even _then_ there was chance they'd get back up. Outright decapitation seemed to be the only sure way to kill one of them. They were even more durable then the high-class, rare finned trolls akin to the Condesce Jane had seen in the battlefields. 

The first time Jane had ever met one of the Subjugglators face-to-face was after one managed to sneak into the camp base in Hong Kong that she was currently aiding the people with her healing abilities. She'd heard a soft, shifting noise and immediately spun around, weapon at the ready. But the instant she saw that painted face and deer-like horns Jane had completely froze, brain turning into mush; The troll had been eerily silent and even after Bro, who had accompanied her on Rose's insistence, had head-stabbed it scant-seconds before it would have gutted her. The painted clown remained mute even as it collapsed in a blooded heap and died.

Jane, fueled by mad paranoia and twisted hope, had immediately dropped to the ground and roughly pulled the skinny troll over onto its back.

It had four thick threads sealing its mouth shut and the face paint reminded her of a mime. The hair of the troll had reminded her of bear fur- thick and rough and in a heavy single plait that reached the small of its back. Jane had remained there was a long while, kneeling next to the dead troll and watching purple blood spill from the hole in its head. The Maid could see the inner pulse of Life in the troll slowly ebb away and every instinct screamed for her to heal the mime, to use her gift to bring it back. But she knew the alien would simply try to kill her again. So she refrained, despite the deep sense of loathing that gathered in her.

As she continued to looked at the alien mime's face she had felt fierce disappointment settle next to her self-loathing.

It wasn't Gamzee, of course it wasn't.

Eventually Bro had to forcibly remove her from the dead troll and he took her to the mess hall and made her some hot tea. Jane was fairly unwilling to be dragged from her brooding black mood, though she admitted the tea helped settle her churning gut. At least she knew that out of all of her family Bro was the least inclined to lecture her about her love life and clown infatuation.

But from then on she never liked encountering the Subjugglators. Their honking, their face paint; it felt like tiny icy needles stabbing at her whenever she was near them. Luckily her family were accommodating and whenever she went out on the field when she wasn't at the HQ burrows or at the main hospital, they would typically scout it out first and if Subjugglators were prowling they would send her somewhere else.

At least that was something Rose never had to worry about; from what she'd told Jane Kanaya had been a special class that stayed on the troll homeplanet, so there was no risk of the Seer running into a troll that would remind her of her lost paramour. Jane felt slightly bitter about the fact but hid it. It wasn't Rose's fault. 

The Maid just felt so lost sometimes that she would hole herself up in her room and cry for a few hours before emerging and spending the rest of her day in the hospitals and med-bay, tending to the injured, sick and occasionally managing to resurrect the recently deceased. Oddly enough, Jane found it easier to resurrect people than it was to heal them. Bringing them back instantly healed all their wounds in one burst whereas she had to find the injuries and fix them when healing others.

With injuries on herself Jane could instinctively locate and heal with a flick of a thought which made her invaluable in skirmishes and high-risk missions because barring a headshot she could heal any wound. Still, all the killing and massacres severely hurt her spiritually, especially with her new found respect for the sanctity of life due to her Buddhism. One of the main ethics was to refrain from taking life and Jane was greatly distressed at having to kill and kill and kill. She knew she had to; without it, humanity was at risk of eradication and she would not abide by it. However after any task that resulted in her killing, she would usually work at the hospital after; tending to those injured and harmed help to sooth her distress. She would also spend her spare time meditating, a practice which helped ease her mental discord. Jade, Dirk and Roxy would often join her; mediation helping slow their thoughts down and calm them. Jane enjoyed their company, for it was one of the few times they weren't panicking or getting attacked by zealous aliens. 

Humanity was surviving. They were forced largely underground but those bunkers were essentially gigantic underground cities. Humanity was able to create as much food as they were able to eat, Jade proving helpful in this area with her shrinking/resizing abilities. They had suffered extreme casualties yet they held on even as the trolls attempted to squeeze the life out of the human race. Some cities had been on fire for weeks while entire portions of countryside were just blackened plains. Funerals were now essentially pyres- there was no place or time for burials and after witnessing the disturbing things trolls, mostly the Subjugglators, would do to any corpses it became customary to incinerate them with wands, Molotov cocktails or flamethrowers to prevent the trolls from defiling them.

Other people took an alternative, more resourceful approach via deliberately booby trapping bodies, filling the corpses up with explosives and poisons. Jane even received a report someone put several hives worth of africanized bees inside their great-aunt's dead body and catapulted the corpse into a pack of trolls. Inventive and a tactic all the Harley's approved of. Personally Jane was a little bit disturbed by it, but a hostile alien invasion called for extreme and creative tactics.

All in all, humanity was holding on.

But all Jane could feel was disquietness.


	5. Reminisce

_Over ten years ago._

* * *

 

 

Sobbing, Jane slammed the door shut so hard it caused the windows to shake slightly. She stumbled through the living room, knocking her shin painfully against the small table and stubbing her toe on the couch. Cursing violently she hurled the offending furniture into the wall, breaking the table in half and denting the spine of the couch with an almighty crash.

Jane stopped, staring at the broken remains lying next to the fireplace and then glanced down at her hands even as tears continued to roll down her checks. Slowly she started giggling before bursting into another fresh bout of tears. Great, she's broken the living room and she still felt like absolute garbage.

_Bet my father would be so proud of me now if he wasn't dead like that asshole said_ , Jane thought bitterly as she made her way to the kitchen. She leaned heavily against door, sobbing violently for a few seconds before stumbling through, half-blind from her tears.

She scrubbed at her face, struggling to breathe; it felt as if someone had lodged a baseball in her throat, her chest was burning and she could barely see through the heavy blur of tears. Jane groped around until her hands landed on the kitchen counter. She slumped against it, leaning down and pressing her burning face to the cool surface. Sniffing snottily she slowly slid down more and more until she was half sprawled over the marble, crying and feeling so utterly pathetic and disgusting she wanted to be sick.

Slowly her tears began to ebb. Jane swallowed heavily, still struggling to breathe easily though the lump in her throat and her clogged-up nose. She wiped at her eyes, wincing at how swollen and sore they were before struggling to push herself up from the counter. Glancing around she looked for something to blow her nose with; she felt stuffed up and couldn't even draw breath through her nose. With a grunt she snatched up a tea towel lying next to the microwave, no longer caring.

_My father is dead, so it's not like he'd mind,_ Jane thought bitterly, fighting back more tears before she blew her nose nosily on the cloth. She cringed as her eyes stung and her sinuses throbbed painfully in protest.

Disgusted she flung the towel away from her, sending it flying into the trash bin. She briefly thought of incinerating it before dismissing the idea just as quickly. No, she'd just wallow here in her own filth and misery like the utterly incompetence piece of trash she was-

Jane paused in the middle of her self-hatred fueled monologue, sniffing tentatively at the air with her freshly unblocked nose; The achingly familiar smell of fresh bakery goods assailed her sore nostrils.

Instantly she bolted upright, looking wildly around for her missing father. A second later she chided herself for her stupidity; of course it wasn't her father. She was all alone and pathetic in her kitchen as usual.

_But where is that smell coming from?_ Jane pushed herself away from the bench with one hand while rubbing at her swollen eyes with the other. She glanced around and spotted an odd-looking pie sitting on the counter, placed near the fridge. Bemused, she ventured closer while wondering who had left a random pastry on her bench. Lil' Seb, perhaps?

She slightly leaned across the counter, closely studying the foreign pastry; it was a fairly average looking pie with a shell the deep bronze of a well baked pastry. Jane carefully brushed her fingers against the pie's tin-encased side, feeling the comforting, familiar heat seep into her fingers as she sniffed again. It had an odd fruity smell to it, like an apple or pear pie.

Adorning the top of pie was a short message, writing in what looked like purple jam or icing;

happy MOTHERFUCKING wigggling day my FAVE BITCHSIS :o) honk HONK

 

Jane stared at the pie, at the purple writing, at the little clown smiley. A chocked noise erupted from her throat and tears began to stream down her face again as she clamped a hand against her mouth as she slumped against the bench, gasping.

Some random alien clown who kept on trying to sell her garbage and constantly honked like a goose remembered her birthday, while one of her best friends forgot.

The Maid struggled to stay on her feet as she began sobbing anew, sliding down to her knees so she was slumped on the floor, the side of her face resting against the lip of the bench. Blindly she groped around the counter until she touched the side of the pie in its foil tin. She dragged it down with her until she was sitting curled up against the cabinets, the back of her head leaning against the top of the marble bench. The pie was hot, just shy of being painful, where she was balancing it on her lap. Jane sucked in a wheezy, painful breath, struggling to draw in air past the thick lump in her throat.

Sobbing, she started to eat the pie, completely uncaring and uninterested in using a fork. She was fueled by misery and self-disgust as she began to eat it with her bare hands.

The pie had an odd, tangy taste she'd never had before. Jane wasn't sure if it was a new weird alien flavour Gamzee had used in his baking, or if she was too distressed to tell what it was. So she feasted on the pie like some feral woman, chewing on the pastry and eating the bright green innards of the pie, ignoring the mess the front of her shirt, face and hands were turning into as she sobbed quietly, wallowing in her self-loathing.

She'd eaten nearly half of the pie before she realized Gamzee was sitting right next to her, a relaxed expression on his face.

Jane choked violently on some pastry, nearly falling over as she coughed violently before managing to swallow down the way-ward slice.

"Wha- Gamzee what? What are you doing here?" Jane wheezed, coughing a few more times as she wiped away some of her stray tears. She stopped, pulling back her hand and wrinkling as nose as she'd managed to accidentally smeared some more pie filling over her face. Great, now she looked even grosser.

"Comin' to see how you are, sister," Gamzee murmured as he leaned back against the cabinets, "You don't look so motherfucking fine."

Jane laughed bitterly, "Oh wow, wonderful observation! No, I am not 'motherfucking fine'! That's why I'm sitting on the floor like the disgusting fat bitch that I am!"

Gamzee titled his head to the side, a frown appearing on his scarred face, "That ain't good, sis. Why you up and saying all that trashy shit about your sweet-ass self?"

"And why shouldn't I?" Jane snapped, glaring down at the half eaten pie on her lap while struggling to prevent herself from screaming at the troll.

Gamzee just shrugged carelessly in response before he shifted back against the counter, his horns scraping against the bench as he did so. Jane grumbled under her breath as she poked at the pie, feeling guilty. Gamzee didn't deserve to get blasted with her ire; especially since he'd actually bothered to _make_ her something for her birthday.

And it tasted pretty good, too.

Jane chewed on another small bit of the pie, licking at her fingers after she swallowed the piece down. A few more tears slid from her eyes but she hurriedly wiped them away with the heel of her palm. She brushed off some crumbs from her dirty shirt and carefully put the pie tin on the floor next to her. There was still quite a bit left but Jane had her current fill of depressed eating for today. At least she wasn't hungry anymore.

"Thank you..." Jane mumbled to Gamzee, who was still lounging on the ground next to her, "It's a....it's a thoughtful gift and I appreciate it..."

Abruptly Jane, spurred by a sudden overwhelming urge, leaned over and kissed him, half-rising from where she was slumped against the cabinets. The troll jolted against her, claws scratching lightly at the tiles as she pressed herself closer to him while still kissing him awkwardly.

Gamzee was frozen for a few seconds before he hesitantly started to respond. The kiss was gentle and chaste before Jane pressed forward, a soft _huff_ escaping the troll as Jane licked at his black lips before sliding her tongue past them.

It was sloppy and uncoordinated, what with Jane not really having any idea what she was doing in all manner of the word. But she didn't care, instead inching closer to Gamzee and all but sitting in his lap, one hand gripping the middle of a horn for leverage and the other gripping his shoulder. She cut her lips slightly on his teeth and his tongue was long and oddly rough, almost like a cat's. But still, she pressed herself closer, gingerly sliding her tongue against his and released his horn with one hand and trailed it down his face until it was resting on his jaw.

Jane then carefully ended the kiss, ignoring the small cuts on her lips and how red her face had become.

"Thanks...thanks for the pie, it tasted really good," Jane managed to blurt out before she stumbled to her feet and fled from the kitchen, leaving behind a bemused Gamzee.

* * *

 

Jane woke up a few hours later, aching and still exhausted. She was curled up in a heap on the floor near the end of her bed, having fallen into an angry and embarrassed slumber.

With a groan she got to her knees muscles protesting, feeling sore, dirty and disgusting. After she'd left the kitchen she had fled to her room, locked the door and flung herself on the floor in a self-hating heap and was still covered in pie. Wasn't bad enough she'd screamed at her friends, was a disgusting failure of a daughter to a father who was dead and, to top it all off, decided to sloppily kiss the alien clown who made her a birthday pie.

_Oh god, I am so pathetic,_ she snarled angrily, more tears welling up in her sore eyes. Jane went to rub at them but stopped with a grimace, staring at the crusty mess her hands and shirt were. Grunting slightly she got to her feet, sore and miserable. Maybe a shower would help her stop feeling so pathetic.

Jane gathered some clean clothes from her drawers, capchaloguing them as she did so. Sniffing, she started to make a beeline for her bathroom, only to stop as a soft _honk_ caught her attention. Jane glanced around, confused. Then she looked up with a bemused expression on her face as she spotted Gamzee, who was lounging up on the top of her wardrobe like a demented purple gargoyle.

She stared at the troll for a few moments -in which Gamzee gave her a lazy smile and a wave- before shrugging and leaving for the bathroom.

There she barely paused before peeling off her filthy clothes, wrinkling her nose at the amount of grime and stale pie that was smeared all over her shirt and pants. Her shoes at least were just covered in dirt from her running around outside. She'll clean them later. Her glasses she carefully placed on the sink counter.

As Jane stood in the stream of hot water she started to giggle; it was probably due to the potential onslaught of hysterics but Jane would take any laughter she could get. Well, she could admit she felt...better now, even disorientated as she was. The Maid hadn't really noticed how much anger towards Jake she'd been bottling up and blasting him with it all in one go helped give her a strangely tranquil state of mind. Though Jane did feel a small bite of guilt, largely she felt completely justified in her fury.

She hoped it meant Jake wouldn't try to speak to her for a while. She wouldn't mind a good old-fashioned brooding session, just being on her own and angrily baking for a few hours at a time. Then she'd see how she felt and if she could be bothered speaking to that tactless man.

She paused in the middle of bubbling up her hair with shampoo, lips turning downward when she remembered her harsh words towards Roxy. _She_ certainly didn't deserve any of that, she was just trying to help as usual and Jane had promptly turned around and raged at her without pause. Jane shifted under the spray, tilting her head up and allowing the hot water to hit her face and started to sleuth the shampoo from her sodden hair.

Jane would make sure she'd apologize to Roxy. Later, though. The Maid was still angry, hurt and confused so she'd most likely just stick her foot in her mouth all over again. Besides, right now she just wanted to be alone. Probably for a long while. Though she'd always been eager to meet her friends face-to-face being around them all the time with no one else to speak to was almost exhausting. Just the same three people day in and day out. It got almost claustrophobic. Jane loved her friends, of course she did, however it was just monotonous and so stressful sometimes having to only deal with same three people every single day. Sure, she knew the other four players would arrive sometime in the future but until then...

Jane sighed and scrubbed her hands through her wet hair, shutting her eyes as she tipped her head back up towards the shower head, snorting as the water struck her face. She made sure all the shampoo was gone and any stray bits of pie was thoroughly cleaned off before she switched off the shower and carefully stepped out.

As the Maid toweled herself dry she worried about what to do about Gamzee; she had kinda kissed him earlier. Red-faced, and not just from her shower, Jane quickly ejected her clean clothes and pulled them on, feeling immensely nervous. The clown was probably still perched up on her cabinet, most likely trying to think of something new to sell her or maybe making a miniature circus tent.

Or...something along those lines. Alright, Jane could freely admit she had no idea what she was going to do with Gamzee, much less how to speak with him about the whole incident. He was weird and otherworldly; not just in his obvious 'completely different species' aspect but also in his mannerisms and personality.

She did like kissing him, though.

Jane paused in the middle of pulling up her jeans; She _did_ like kissing him. Confused, the Maid quickly pulled up her pants the rest of the way and zipped them up. She was in love with Jake, though, wasn't she?

_Oh yes, the Jake who forgot your birthday, who offered to immediately dump Dirk like a sack of potatoes because he was daft enough to think you fancied Dirk as if he didn't give a toot about the other boy's feelings,_ Jane mocked herself as she angrily hurled the wet towel in the laundry basket. Jake wasn't the brightest bulb in the shed, Jane could freely admit. But she found she could...ignore his more oblivious and even hurtful mannerisms when she didn't have to deal with it constantly or face-to-face. Now in Sburb, especially with his most recent blunder, she could easily say she would be content with ignoring him for a very long while. At least until she stopped feeling like she wanted to punch him in the face for herself and Dirk's sake. Jake's...uncaring attitude towards Dirk also angered her on behalf of her friend. The instant he through she wanted to date Dirk Jake was willing to break up with him, like he didn't even care about him.

Jane forced herself to relax her grip on the hem of her shirt, knuckles almost bone-white from the amount of force she was exerting on the fabric. Great, now she'd gotten herself angry all over again. Jane grumpily snatched up her glasses and put them on as she yanked the bathroom door open and walking back to her room.

She went into her bedroom and automatically glanced up at the cabinet, still expecting Gamzee to be crouched up there like a colourful crow. Instead a soft honk caused her to glance at her bed. Said bed which now had its sheets and duvet all lumped up into some kind of weird... cocoon nest thing. Judging from the goat-like candycorn coloured horns sticking out of the highest peak she had a fair idea of who mauled her bed.

A grey hand stuck out of the top of the pile and waved/beckoned at her. With an amused sigh Jane made her way to the bed, carefully climbing up onto the mattress. Gamzee was tucked into the middle of the blankets as it they were a cocoon and Jane awkwardly shuffled up closer to him, half pushing down her duvet in order to see him properly.

She made the mistake of half clambering over the lip of the nest; Gamzee seized her wrist the instant she got within range and he unceremoniously yanked her into the cocoon with a strong tug, causing her to go sprawling on top of him with a surprised yelp.

The two of them lay in a heap, with Jane giving an exaggerated groan while Gamzee honked before she bursting out into a fit of giggles. They were still a little on the hysterical side but Jane ignored that as she started to shift into a more comfortable position. Gamzee let out another _honk_ as she squirmed about until she was lying sideways on his lap, her legs hanging over the edge of the blanket cocoon, the codpiece awkwardly pressing against the undersides of her thighs.

Gamzee didn't seem overly concerned by her squirming, instead watching her with an amused expression on his face as she fixed up her crocked glasses. Jane paused, half-leaning back against her rumpled blankets, watching the troll as he watched her.

"Hi."

"Heeeey."

_He always sounds as if he's stoned out of his mind or something,_ Jane thought in amusement. Quite frankly she wasn't sure if aliens could get stoned or if they could even get drunk. Jane shifted, oddly comfortable in her position in Gamzee's lap. This close, Jane could feel his cool body through her clothes- it seems that he had a colder body temperature than she did. It was probably just an alien thing. It was always interesting to get physical reminders that he was a different species; she'd gotten used to his horns and grey skin but having a difference in body temperature just seemed even more...alien. And here she was, curled up against him.

Jane struggled to keep herself from blushing as it hit her full force she was curled up in Gamzee's lap in the middle of a cocoon he'd made from her bed sheets and duvet. He'd always been weird and just... _there_ , for some reason. As far as she knew he spent the majority of his time at her place, following her around her dead grey land or hiding in her cupboards and, on one occasion, having a nap in her fridge. Roxy had complained about how all he'd do was honk at her whenever she asked him something or attempted to initiate conversations with him on the rare occasions the Rogue met with the troll. Jane supposed it was like how Fefeta never spoke to her yet Roxy insisted she was a complete chatterbox.

Gamzee abruptly shifting backwards broke her from her doze, causing her to instinctively grab onto his bony shoulders to avoid tipping over. Jane was a bit apprehensive at her face getting so close to his teeth, which reminded her of a shark or a hyenas. All long white fangs and sharp tips that made it seem as if he could easily bite her face right off if he chose to. Jane chased away those morbid thoughts; he was weird, yes, but he'd never given her a reason to be afraid of him.

So instead of entertaining the paranoid thoughts she slowly reached up a hand to Gamzee's face, suddenly wanting to touch one of the three long scars marring his face. His black lips twitched as her hand got closer, but he otherwise made no move to stop her as she carefully rested her fingertips on the raised scar tissue near his temple. Slowly Jane slid her fingers down the middle scar, following the long bumpy line down his forehead, across the bridge of his nose and, her fingers twitching, she traced it over his lips before finally ending at the corner of his jaw.

"How did you get these?" Jane asked softly, hand still resting on his jaw.

Gamzee smiled lazily at her, "Aw, just a lil' kitty scratched up my face. I motherfucking took care of it."

Jane wrinkled her nose in distaste as she said, "Ugh, cats. Personally I don't know what Roxy sees in them. That horrid white flea-ball that lurks around here is a terrible pet...thing. All it does is claw up my furniture or teleport things all over the place Though it must have been a pretty big cat to maul your face like that, leaving such large scarring." Jane rubbed her thumb over the scar tissue, intrigued by the contrast between the texture of the rough scar and the slightly sticky face paint.

The clown shrugged, looking unfettered, "Nah, our kitty's are bigger motherfuckers than the lil' meowbeast you got around here. Fucker tried to maul me but I got the kittysis all up and good."

It sounded disturbingly like Gamzee had killed the cat that attacked him but Jane figured the 'meowbeast' he was talking about was akin to the beasts that used to be on Jake's island that he would tell her about, the huge white monsters that were apparently native troll wildlife the Batterwitch brought with her. No wonder he had such long scars if he got attacked by one of _those_ things.

"Well, as long as they aren't hurting you..."

"Ain't me that's hurting. You were all up and raging like a motherfucker when you came back to your hive, sis."

_And then I randomly made out with you,_ Jane thought, red faced. Aloud she said, "That was just some...friend issues. And thank you for the pie, by the way. I had no idea you baked and it was...it was a really sweet gesture after a lousy day and I appreciate it."

Gamzee's smile widened at that, to the point she could see his deep-grey gums, "It's all cool, sis.

"Still, it was a nice thing for you to do for me. Even though I didn't really...savour it too much. I do remember the taste, though, something I've never had before. Very tangy."

"Was a wicked elixir I up and put in there-"

"Wait it wasn't those weird potion things was it?" Jane interrupted, concerned. She'd never tried those weird potions he'd give her, instead it reminded her of thick, gooey syrup and smelled like copper. Her mind had violently balked when she made an attempt to drink one and she'd never tried again.

A loud honk came from the troll, causing her to start out of her musing at the sudden noise,

"Nah, know you ain't with what I got in those sicknasty elixirs so I used my own motherfucking miracles to make that flagrant pie for my fave humansis on her sacred wiggling day."

"...I really hope it wasn't something the Batterwitch approved of. Knowing her there is probably ground-up babies in there or something."

"That seawitch ain't down with me and my whimsy, even if her baking is motherfucking delicious."

"I suppose so..." Jane leaned against Gamzee, tucking her head against his sternum and wrapping one arm around his neck and keeping the other resting on his chest. A small part of her mind was yelling at her, asking her just what the hell she thought she was doing but Jane shoved it away. If she wanted to hug a random alien clown then she would hug a gosh darn random alien clown.

It was oddly soothing, even if she felt mildly...nervous. However Gamzee hadn't thrown her off or attempted to bite her face off or grope her boobs so there wasn't really a reason to worry so much. She felt Gamzee shifting, then he carefully moved his arms so one was wrapping around her back and the other lying across her knees. She could feel the slight pricks of his claws through the thin fabric of her shirt, but his grip remained gentle. He then rested his jaw on the top of her head, nuzzling at her damp hair and giving a low huff.

Slowly Jane relaxed. It was comfortable, even if his ridiculous cod-piece was still poking the undersides of her thighs. He did seem inordinately fond of the weird thing. Truth be told, she wasn't even too sure if trolls were...like that, considering the things Dirk and Roxy told her about the Batterwitch's disastrous reign on Earth and the ranting against reproduction. But maybe he just liked the odd clown theme to his outfit.

Jane was pulled into light doze, listening to Gamzee's odd three-beating heart and allowing it to lull her into a half-awake state. The beat was off; a strong thump followed by two quick ones that really hammered home just how _alien_ Gamzee really was compared to her, but it was still soothing. It reminded her of all the times she would sit in her father's lap when she was younger and nap, going to sleep with the familiar beat of his heart, soft breathing and the comforting smell of tobacco and baking.

She tightened her grip on the purple fabric of Gamzee's chest, pushing the thought from her mind. It would do no good to go back into more hysterical crying again but useless tears pricked at her eyes. Sniffing she pressed her face harder into Gamzee's neck, fighting them back. Gamzee shifted his head up slightly, allowing her to burrow deeper against him, the cocoon of blankets acting like some comforting shield. Jane felt...safe.

The Maid dozed for nearly a quarter of an hour, even falling into a light nap at one point. It was a strange, consistent vibration that finally roused her from her slumber. Confused she shifted slightly, feeling the odd, rhythmic thrumming against her forehead- it seemed the noise was emanating from Gamzee's throat and chest.

_Was he...purring?_ bemused, Jane shifted her hand from his chest and gently pressed against the purple fabric at his throat. Sure enough, the low vibrations were mainly coming from there. Curious, and more than a little mischievous, she started to scratch at the underside of Gamzee's jaw in the same way she would occasionally do to GCat whenever the flea-ball would demand her attention.

Immediately the noise hitched slightly, followed by Gamzee pressing his jaw into her hand; Jane obligatorily scratched harder, digging her nails into the underside of his jaw as the noise got louder.

A small voice in the back of her mind bemusedly commented on the fact she was scratching a purring clown alien in a nest of blankets in a dead land filled with crypts and colourful balloons. Jane could freely admit this isn't where she'd thought she'd be six months ago, or even last week but his purring was funny and adorable, even. It was only when Gamzee suddenly honked loudly and seemed to snap out of his weird, purring daze Jane stopped pawing at him, instantly jerking her hand away as if it'd been burned.

The clown looked mainly confused as he pulled back slightly, his purring stopping with a few coughs and awkward honks. Jane drew her hands back up against her chest and tried to shuffle away from him, certain he was going to yell at her for getting all handsy on him when he was apparently having a nap.

"Um, sorry?" Jane squeaked, face crimson. Gamzee blinked a few times -to her, it seemed his sclera's were more red than yellow but she instantly dismissed it as a trick of the light- before he gave her an odd, lop-sided smile, showing rows of sharp teeth.

"It's all up and motherfucking fine. Though why you're getting all diamond pale-glow at me is a wicked blasphemy, almost."

"I...what?" Jane frowned, though a little relived that he wasn't going to lecture her for groping him, "You've got a diamond? Are you going to try and sell me that as well?"

Gamzee laughed at that, a few soft honks slipping in, "Naw, my diamond is all harshtainted and broken into motherfucking stardust and tiny little tainted bits of glass all covered in the most heretic of shades. Ain't fucking worth my time."

Jane had no idea how to respond to that; She wasn't sure if he was talking about an actual diamond, something he was selling, or some other weird clown alien analogy. Well, she could try just winging it and see how he reacts.

"Well, as long as you're not...freaking out, I suppose. Sorry for groping you like that, though," that last part she muttered, averting her eyes. Nervously she shifted in his lap, an almost overwhelming urge to abscond rising up in her. Though considering she was still stuck in a pile of blankets and Gamzee was was still gripping her shoulders she'd probably just make an epic faceplant instead.

Gamzee titled his head to the side, brow furrowing, "You ain't being all pale?"

"What even _is_ pale? Like seriously, what is it?" Jane snapped, "You can at least explain something if you're going to accuse me of it instead of using abstract clown words and acting as if I didn't kiss you earlier and have now been cuddling me for half a gosh darn hour."

_Foot right in the mouth. Nice one, Jane!_

To his credit Gamzee didn't yell at her back as she sat there, red faced. Instead he just stared at her with a dazed expression as Jane felt her face burn even more under his continued scrutiny. Then abruptly he reached up and honked her nose with a clawed hand.

Jane jumped, accompanied with yelp of shock, and immediately swatted away his hand but was smiling despite herself. Alright so she has a soft spot for clowns. Darn her prankster genes. And his...relaxed oddness was a nice change of pace.

"Well?" Jane asked, rubbing at her nose exaggeratedly while Gamzee smiled at her, "Are you going to try and sell me those glittery diamond shards? Or you-"

"Can't sell that shit," Gamzee interrupted, a odd note of melancholy to his tone as his smile vanished, "Ain't nobody wanting that sickening mess of motherfucking ignorance and blasphemes. But you all up and at making my chitinous windpipe chatter like a meowbeast after getting down on some serious make out; some pretty fucking bold advances at me, sis. Got no real deal on how to handle that."

Jane was so red she was surprised her face hadn't caught on fire. Alright. So he wasn't going to lecture or rebuke her. It just seems he didn't really know what she was doing.

_Maybe you should just stop being such a coward,_ her mind jeered at her, _Or just run away from the problem. Seems that's all you're good at. No wonder none of your friends even bothered to see how you're doing. Only one who cares is a demented alien clown who probably eats children._

Great, now she had at least seven different sounding voices in her head. Maybe that tiaratop really did make her messed up in the brain like Roxy had repeatedly warned her it would.

Screw it. She'd just go with what her gut told her and not with what that insidious whisper in her head said. Jane was fed up with feeling guilty and ashamed. Fine, if he wants bold advances then she would darn well give him some bold advances. And if he threw her off like a sack of potatoes? Well then she'd know his answer rather than him hiding behind weird clown lingo that she couldn't make heads or tails out of.

Mind made up, Jane surged forward, switching off any rational part of her brain as she moved.

His lips are cool and the kiss is tentative, timid almost, compared to the previous desperate one she'd bestowed on him in the kitchen earlier. Jane made sure to keep her hands resting on his shoulders to make sure they didn't wander as she pressed herself up against his bony chest.

Jane drew back slightly before giving him three more soft, quick kisses even as her heart hammered frantically in her chest before she pulled away from him.

"Um, well," Jane started awkward, going even redder as Gamzee just stared at her, his eyes fully open and not half-lidded as they usually were, "I don't know if- I don't know what kinda of alien analogy you'd use for that but I just kissed you then. Obviously. Gosh, anyway well I like you. Which is why I kissed you."

_Oh my gosh Jane, word vomit much?_ Jane's mind panicked as words continued to spill out, hardly any of them making sense, "Well I'll just leave you to it. But I thought you would want to know that I do like you, even if you are a weird clown who hides in my fridge and laundry on numerous occasions. Uh. Anyway I leave you alone to think about what I said. Or don't, I've already laid my cards on the table, buster. I don't know if you aliens have cards, but mine are here. I'm babbling, you know what I think I need to leave and fix up the mess I made of the kitchen and lounge."

Jane then attempted to flee as gracefully as she could; Unfortunately her foot got tangled in the cocooned bed sheets and she went flipping over the side of the mattress with a shriek and a thud.

Jane had finished cleaning the lounge and was rigorously scrubbing down the bench in the kitchen when she noticed Gamzee on top of the fridge. Blushing slightly Jane immediately averted her eyes away from the drunk-looking troll and scrubbed harder at the counter with her damp cloth. Well, at least he hadn't laughed _too_ hard at her specular exit an hour ago, even if her prankster gambit had completely crashed and was still bruised from the incident.

She kept on sneaking little glances at him from the corner of her eyes even as she sprayed the counter with disinfectant and started to scrub at it with the cloth, working on getting the green pie stains from the bench. His hood was down, letting his wild nest of hair free. Jane had to stop herself from openly gawking at him; she'd never seen him with it down before but the sheer amount of tangled snarls seemed to be completely at odds with the size of his hood.

_That thing must be a lot more roomy than it looks,_ Jane thought idly as she swiped down the last part of the counter. His hair was certainly longer than any of her friends, even if it seemed to stick out in all directions like some wild mass of black tendrils. Jane couldn't help but notice she could also see his ears, which she was fascinated to find were long and pointed. _Like an elf....or those weird blue aliens Jake goes all crazy over..._

"May I touch your ears?"

The words came from Jane's mouth before she'd realized she was speaking her thoughts aloud. Jane froze in the middle of wringing out the cloth in the sink as her mind caught up with her. She stood motionless, staring at the tap faucet as if trying to burn the image forever into her brain, embarrassment making her limbs flush hot and keeping her frozen in place.

Finally Jane stiffly folded the wet cloth and laid it on the bench, hands shaking. What was _with_ her lately? It was like she had lost any kind of filter between her brain and her mouth. Well, time to go crawl back into her bedroom in shame-

Jane turned to leave only to scream and nearly jump a foot in the air as she came face-to-face with Gamzee, who was now sitting up on the bench, scant centimeters away from her.

"Darnit, Gamzee!" Jane shrieked, a hand clutched to her chest, "You shouldn't do that! You scared the gadzooks out of me!"

The troll shrugged carelessly before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knobby knees. Despite her slowly-fading shock and still-pounding heart Jane couldn't help her eyes from straying back to his pointed ears. Quickly Jane averted her gaze from them, trying to beat down the urge to reach out and touch them while clearing her throat awkwardly. She brushed down her shirt and turned to fully face the troll, hands clasped nervously in front of her.

Gamzee titled his head to the side and waggled his ears at her, an amused expression on his face, "You sure you don't want to get that tenacious grip all over my auricular sponge clots?"

"...Do you mean your ears? Well- well, it's just I've never seen anyone with ears like that before!" Jane blurted, "And I'm just curious, so it would be purely for a darn good purpose?" She trailed off uncertainly, wringing her fingers.

"Honk?"

"Um, for Biology?"

So she wasn't the greatest liar under stress. She also wasn't sure even if this even fell anywhere near biology, having no real interest in the arts of science. That was more Roxy's thing.

Gamzee exhaled with a loud _huff_ but leaned further forward, tilting his head to the side and waggling his ears at her again. Jane watched the troll for a long moment, unsure if he was giving her the green light. His lazy smile just widened under her scrutiny and Jane decided to stop being a coward and go right ahead; she was quite sure Gamzee would tell her to knock it off if she was getting the wrong idea or over stepping her boundaries.

Slowly Jane shuffled closer to the alien, tentatively reaching up a hand as she came to a stop right in front of him; this close and the way he was slouched over meant they were nearly face-to-face. She moved calmly and gingerly, not wanting to spook him. Inwardly Jane found it amusing at how apprehensive she was about touching Gamzee, considering she'd already kiss him several times and spent half-an-hour cuddling him earlier. Still, she had no idea what his stance was even though he'd never made any threatening gestures towards her before and Jane didn't want to overstep his boundaries.

However Gamzee just watched her calmly with half-lidded eyes as she reached up to the side of his face. At one point his dark lips twitched slightly, but he otherwise made no movement as she finally touched his ear, gently caressing the cool flesh. She rubbed the grey skin between her fingers, curious at the odd texture of the skin. Carefully she followed the arch of his ear and ran her thumb along the pointed tip. Her other hand came up and started to trace the skin of his opposite ear.

Jane's body slowly unwound as she continued to run her hands over the pointed grey flesh with Gamzee's eyes falling shut as Jane continued to gently stroked his ears. His head tipped forward as Jane scratched, digging her nails slightly into the lobes and sliding the pads of her fingers along the thin flesh just behind the base of his ears, brushing against coarse hair. Curious, she slid up her hands and tangled them in his hair; it was thick and rough, almost like fur. Jane tugged at the dense strands, smiling slightly when she heard the odd purring noise start up again.

_He's like a giant alien cat..._ Jane thought in amusement as she scratched harder. Well, Gamzee was probably better than a cat. So far he hadn't clawed up the sofa or coughed up radioactive fur balls. All he'd done was sell her things and swear a lot.

Gradually Gamzee began to slump forward until his forehead was resting against Jane's sternum, his long horns bracketing her neck, the wisps of his shaggy hair brushing against her face. His deep purring began to burrow into her chest to the point she felt it deep in her bones, the rumble low and pulsing. Jane stroked at his ears and scratched his scalp for a few more minutes, smiling faintly at Gamzee as he nuzzled at her chest. He was sweet, in his own weird way.

Jane shifted her hands away from his hair and slowly began to inch her fingers closer and closer to his candy-corn coloured horns. She wondered if they felt like smooth porcelain or if they were more akin to the rough keratin of a rhinoceros horn.

She stopped her hands a few inches from his horns before untangling her left hand from his rats nest hair and touched the yellow stripe of his horn. It was smooth and cool, sturdy underneath her hand. Against her Gamzee's purring faltered slightly and she felt his body twitch but he otherwise didn't react negatively to her touch.

Jane carried on scratching at his ear with her other hand while her left slid down his horn, brushing against the ragged transition of yellow to orange. Jane wondered if Gamzee had ever eaten candycorn before and made a mental note to alchemize some for him to try whenever she got the opportunity.

His purring hitched as Jane explored the colour tones of his horn but he otherwise made no reaction as she ran her fingers over the change of orange to the deep, almost red, colour near the base of his horn. Jane wondered if his horns had a practical use, like how stags and goats would use them for sparring against each other during mating season. Though she'd never seen the Condesce, Jane had heard about how she also had long, angled horns like his, however they were apparently a lot longer than Gamzee's. Jane wondered how big they would become when Gamzee grew up.

_Maybe they're for show, like display threats? Or to protect their heads or use them as actual weapons? I wonder if they have any other kind of purpose..._ Jane thought as she ran her hand down the final length of his horn, feeling the smoothness of its transition into the softer flesh of his scalp.

Jane rubbed his scalp, fascinated by the abrupt change in textures as she ran the pads of her fingers over the skin surrounding the horn bed; the skin was softer then the rest of him, less ridged and dense. Jane stopped touching his ear with her other hand and moved it to his other horn. His hair tangled between her fingers as she moved and Jane wondered if he'd ever brushed it before as she ran a thumb over the pliant flesh of his horn bed.

Gamzee rubbed his head against her collarbone and Jane had to grip onto his horns to avoid being pushed back and his purring got even louder, causing Jane to giggle softly as she scratched harder.

A high-pitched scraping noise caught Jane's attention and she glanced around before realizing Gamzee was making the noise; his long nails were digging into the bench, creating a line of shallow scratches in the marble. Confused Jane stopped scratching him, opening her mouth to ask him why he was vandalizing her kitchen when he whined and butted up against her hands. Jane released his horns and stepped back, frowning slightly as she took in the gouges on the recently cleaned counter.

"Hey, I'm not going to do that again if you're going to claw up my kitchen! That's one of the reasons why I like you over GCat," Jane scolded him in low tones, ignoring the grey and white paint staining her shirt.

Gamzee gave an odd, warbling noise that reminded her of a bullfrog as he slowly shifted back up on the bench. His eyes were glazed over, he seemed to be having trouble focusing on her and he was breathing heavily. Jane frowned at him.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" She asked, concerned.

Gamzee stared blankly at her for a few moments before he shook his head, responding in a hoarse voice, "Nah, I ain't in any kind of sickening pain, sis," He briefly glanced at the scratch marks before continuing, "Just you were getting all your scratch on at my motherfucking sacred horns and making me purr like a meowbeast."

"Well you managed to 'get your scratch on' my bench! I just _cleaned_ that."

The troll shrugged as he leaned back and casually crossed his ankles, though Jane noted he was still shifting restlessly on the counter. A movement near his stomach momentarily snagged her attention; it was like something serpentine was shifting against the thinner purple fabric just above his ridiculous codpiece. Jane couldn't help but flinch slightly, thinking that maybe he was infested with a flesh-eating eel or something-

A low honk snapped Jane out of her panicked, imagined scenario of body devouring space eels and Gamzee suddenly shifted so he was sitting up on the counter with his back against the wall, his legs crossed and feet resting on the lip of the marble. His face got even more uncomfortable as she continued watching him and Jane was surprised to see such an expression his features. So it seems he does have some kind of shame after all. Still, she wasn't sure if she had caused him discomfort with her exploration and she didn't want to just leave if she did indeed hurt him.

"Are you sure?" Jane said, reaching out a hand, "I mean, I hope it didn't cause you pain and you haven't just randomly scratched up my furniture before so if you are hurt I can-"

Gamzee suddenly flash-stepped away from her before she could touch him, reappearing on top of the fridge with an uneasy look on his usually lax face. He was crouched on the balls of his feet like a purple gargoyle, his wild hair framing his paint-smeared face like a mass of black tentacles. Jane stomped her foot, annoyed now.

"Gamzee, what is with you?" Jane asked, exasperated with the troll's fidgety behaviour, "First you say you're alright then you run away from me when I want to make sure! Tell me the truth, buster, before I march over there and tan your hide!"

Truthfully Jane wasn't too sure if she could beat Gamzee in a strife since she'd never seen him fight before and didn't even know _what_ he fought with, but gosh darn would she give it a go. Gamzee, despite her threat, remained perched up on the fridge with his ears curled down, still looking uncomfortable and skittish, his breath still raspy enough she could hear him all the way near the bench. Concerned Jane took a few steps forward only for him to hunch down more, watching her as if he half-expected her to start screaming and hurling things at him.

Then Jane stopped, her mind suddenly slotting all his strange behaviour together; his purring, the squirming, the ragged breathing.

Stumbling backwards, Jane went a ferocious shade of red as she blurted out, "Gamzee! You should have told me I was _groping_ you! I- oh gosh, I didn't know I- Darnit!"

Face still a blazing red she threw a final glare to Gamzee- who looked suitably abashed at being the object of her ire- before she stormed from the kitchen.

* * *

 

Jane stayed in her room for nearly a whole day after that, fixing up her rumpled bed, tidying up her drawers and then changing out of her paint-stained shirt and dealing with the laundry. She contacted Roxy with her tiaratop once finished and, after making sure her friend wasn't online, she left a brief message that she was alright, she just wanted to be left alone for a while and she'd contact everyone again when she felt ready. Jane skimmed some of the messages her friends, mostly from Roxy, had left before she burst into tears after reading Roxy's note about her father and how he was alive and well.

She flung herself onto her bed and cried out of sheer relief after reading that bit of news. Sure, her father was essentially _imprisoned_ , but he was still alive. After a good half-hour of sobbing Jane finally eased herself up from her newly rumpled duvet, wiping some stray tears from her eyes.

She'd cried more in the last few days then she'd had in months, but unlike her previous bawling session Jane had gotten up feeling a lot happier and calmer. Because of the good news she decided to dress up, putting on one of the very few dresses she had. She didn't own many dresses, typically preferring practical trousers, but she felt like it was a special occasion. True, said occasion was celebrating her father's lock up on an alien planet ruled by a ancient psychotic fishwoman with an immense hair fetish, but he was alive and she would gladly take any good news she could get nowadays.

The dress wasn't overly elaborate, just a simple summer frock of a bright yellow and patterned with numerous sunflowers and cinched at the waist with a thick white ribbon fastened at the side with a button in the shape of another sunflower. She didn't bother with shoes or socks as she nimbly ran from her room and jumped right down the stairs, landing with thud on her feet in the lounge. With a quick twirl she straightened up and walked into the kitchen, ignoring the chill from the floor tiles on her bare feet.

Smiling, Jane bustled around the kitchen, pulling out bowls and measurement jugs from the cupboards and setting them up on the bench. With an ease born of long practice she mixed together milk, flour, baking power and more, stirring until it turned into a thick paste and spooned a thick glob onto the heated fry pan. She carefully flipped it over when the mixture began bubbling, causing both sides to become a deep golden brown. Once finished, she flicked the pancake onto a plate and repeated the process until she was all out of batter and had a plateful of hot pancakes.

She ended up taking her breakfast (or lunch, she wasn't sure how time moved in her Land) out on the edge of one of the craggy overhangs of the island her house was on, with her bare feet dangling over the lip of a yawning abyss. Sitting there she began to eat, cutting up neat slices of pancake with a fork and knife as she watched one of the odd, colourful balloons float past. Well, they were apparently giant seed pods but they looked nearly the same.

_Or maybe they're blimps?_ Jane thought as it drifted past, _Still not particularly interesting though....but it's nice to have some colour around here._

Jane could freely admit she was disappointed in her land. She had been excited when she first found out Sburb would grant them their own personal planet but hers was just a giant dead rock with weird floating balloons that seemed to have no real purpose. She began to even flat out dislike her land for its desolate, lonely landscape during her many adventures around the area, especially when she successfully broke into her first crypt only to find it full of row after row of tiny, curled up skeletons. Her consorts, who died waiting for a Hero. Or Noble, as it were. A Noble whose aspect was Life and all she inherited was a land of bones and death. It was disheartening to try crypt after crypt in search of lost treasure and all she found time and again were the small, shriveled remains. Some Maid of Life she was, when all she got from her world was dead earth and piles of skeletons.

At least her friends planets also left a lot to desire, so she didn't feel completely alone. Roxy's was the only one she liked, with its giant, gleaming pyramids and vibrant atmosphere, like the whole planet was encased in a web of rainbow-coloured auroras. Dirk's was just a giant deathtrap where everyone suffocate if they didn't constantly run around in a gasmask and even then anything living was at risk of being struck by lightning from the rampant storms that plagued the planet. Jake's was...alright, however the vast burial burrows for his consorts spanned for miles, which meant falling halfway down a massive hole was common if everyone didn't constantly watch their stepping.

Jane nibbled on another slice of pancake, wondering what her grandfather/grandson's planet is like and if she would be able to visit it when they arrived to her dead session. Hopefully it was more lively than hers and not just...a giant grey graveyard with floating colourful seeds all over the place. Well, regardless she would enjoy having some different company. Three other humans, day in and day out, over and over was just stressful and exhausting. At least when she was back on Earth she could go outside and talk to someone new without hassle (the occasional assassination attempt aside) than just the same old same old.

It wasn't all their fault but she felt like all her nerves were raw and twitching, ready to snap at a moments notice. Her spectacular rage fit certainly proved she was reaching breaking point in terms of company. Jane deftly sliced through the pancake, cutting off a small square as she mused on her problem. Well, at least she had Gamzee to speak to. He was interesting enough and he....was already receptive of her fairly blatant romantic advances.

_Well you could always just go for it,_ a voice in her head, sounding suspiciously like Roxy, urged, _It's not like anyone else is clamoring for your affections around here, what with the clusterfuck around Dirk and Jake which won't be ending soon and sniping someone just after a breakup is a scummy thing to do, so that's all off-limits for a long while. So why don't try and hook up with the alien? He likes you, so there's a bonus right off the bat. You've already gotten to mack on his painted face a few times and groped him-_

"Alright, that last part was not intentional-" Jane stopped, feeling sheepish as she realized she'd been about to start arguing with herself aloud. Still, that Roxy-esque voice had a point. There weren't any other available bachelors around and Gamzee hadn't exactly resisted her fairly blatant advances earlier. And to put it bluntly, Jane was _lonely_.

Still, she wouldn't be surprised if even an alien clown couldn't be bothered with her. Jane frowned at her plate, crossing her ankles as she cut up the last piece of pancake. Well, she could just spend the rest of her day doing menial tasks and exploring more of her dead planet, however that had rapidly lost its appeal after the first five hours on her initial adventure. It was just too depressing and she didn't feel like tromping through mass graves again.

_Go on, do it,_ The Roxy-voice urged again, which Jane now suspected was fueled by her rampant teenage hormones, _Worst case scenario? He says 'nah I ain't inta that kinda shit lol stop coming onto me' and you guys carry on doing the usual stuff- him trying to sell you useless shit and you wangsting all over the place. So just go and ask him if he's keen for it. If he is? Woohoo, alien to mack on. If not? Eh, go back to the old stuff. At least then you can actually say you tried this time._

The Maid shifted, still not entirely convinced; He was, well he was _Gamzee._ She hardly knew anything about him, for all she knew his species reproduced through mitosis or some ridiculous method. Did his species even do boyfriends and girlfriends? Or maybe they were like foxes and mated for life? Admittedly Jane wouldn't mind that last part, but she would have to keep an eye out for that. Or what if his species were like praying mantises who ate each other during...an intimate act? Her mind pointed out it was the females who ate the males, but she wasn't particularly keen on eating Gamzee, that would just be awkward. Or maybe he'd-

_Just ASK him, damnit._

Jane ate the final slice of her pancake, chewing slowly before swallowing it down. She got to her feet, empty plate and utensils getting captchalogued as she did so. Brushing some stray crumbs off her dress she turned and jogged back to her house, mind made up and already thinking up a haphazard plan.

In for a penny in for a pound, as the saying went.

Now, she just needed to track down Gamzee.

* * *

 

Jane didn't bother changing from her yellow sunflower dress, instead she felt fey and reckless as she moved around the house, absently fixing any askew pictures and dusting the ornaments as she flitted about the house. She knew from previous encounters Gamzee would show up when he was good and ready. Until then she decided to spruce up her home, her thoughts buzzing like a hive of bees; she'd never actively attempted to seduce someone. Her dismal failure with Jake was a fairly big indicator romance wasn't exactly her forte but at least Gamzee was an alien so even if she did make a complete fool out of herself he probably wouldn't realize what she was doing.

However she knew she couldn't just find him; he was incredibly evasive when he wanted to be, appearing out of nowhere at random times to do random things like painting tiny ":o)" on the undersides of her chairs or hurling corpses into her kernalsprite which then promptly screamed and exploded. Once she even caught him raiding her cleaning cupboard after flooding the kitchen when he clogged the sink and she shouted and threw a pineapple tart at him and chased him out of the house with a broom.

At least he'd found that funny more than anything. That was certainly another thing she found...nice about Gamzee; he knew how to take or make a joke. His sense of humour could certainly be a lot darker and more morbid than hers, but at least he typically reacted positively to her prankster gambit and didn't mind it if she pulled pranks on him (unlike Dirk, who didn't appreciated getting hit in the face with her strawberry flan during one of their adventures together. At least Roxy found it hilarious and had it as her phone wallpaper for a while) even if Gamzee did freak out a bit when she got him with the old 'bucket full of shaving cream above the door' act. Must be an alien thing.

Jane straightened her glasses, thinking on how to lure the clown inside. There _was_ one surefire way to lure him out or to bribe him.

Moving to the Alchemiter she activated the machine with a press of the button. Through trial and error she combined numerous objects with the bottles of water Roxy had given her a while ago and which Jane kept stored in her sylladex in case of an emergency, hoping to make some faygo. For some reason Gamzee seemed to love the stuff and she knew Dirk managed to bribe the troll before with his storage of the soft drink. After a few...odd combinations, one of which she combined a bottle of water with a squiddle and got a dead cuttlefish, she eventually hit the jackpot; by combining a bottle with a blueberry pie she got a three litre Jazzin' Blue Berry faygo bottle, some black onyx resulted in traditional cola and she finished by combining a boxing glove with the water-filled bottle and got Punch flavour.

She had no idea if he even liked the flavours she'd made but she figured it was worth a shot. She didn't really feel like badgering Dirk about taking any of his; he was incredibly frugal with his own hoard. Jane gathered up the bottles in her arms before carefully making her way to the kitchen, placing the three bottles up on the bench like some fizzy drink center piece. Hopefully that would lure him out; if not...well, she'd cross that bridge if it came to it. To waste some time she start pulling out ingredients to bake some chocolate chip cookies, enjoying the feel of the cool tiles on her bare feet as she moved around the room, switching on the oven as she did so.

Through the shifting, measuring and mixing Jane's mind began to relax, shifting into an odd mix of contentment and anticipation. She'd never tried to lure someone out with the sole intention of seducing them, much less an alien. Well, she's going to try her darn best since it's not like she could mess it up any better than she did with Jake. At least Roxy wasn't around for Jane to scream at if things went bad. Jane winced as she dumped a cupful of chocolate chips into the mixture; She really needed to go all out to apologise to Roxy for that horrid remark about her drinking. While Jane had already left the Rogue an apologetic message, she would have to do some more things to make it up to her best friend. Maybe make her a batch of cat-shaped cupcakes? With nice pink frosting with liquorice eyes...

Jane mulled over the idea as she spooned the cookie mixture onto a tray, carefully disturbing the globs across the tray and giving them enough room to expand and bake properly. Okay, that was a plan for Ro-Lal. But first she had a clown to catch. Already she felt the beginnings of doubt as she put the tray in the pre-heated oven, since she had no real experience with romance and her feeble jabs at it with Jake were more like what _not_ to do with wooing.

And....well, Gamzee was a completely different beast from Jake in all manners of the word. While he could be as dream-dozing and spaced out as the Page, he seemed far more...shrewd in so many cases then Jake ever could be. She even sometimes got the unerring feeling the troll could tell what she was thinking when he was around her. His eyes sometimes just got too _sharp_ for it to be anything else.

As Jane took off her red oven mitts and hung them back up she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and she knew Gamzee would be sitting on her bench before she turned around. True enough, when she did the lanky troll was sitting cross-legged on the marble tabletop, two bottles resting in the crook of his knees and the third bottle, the Blue Berry flavour held in clawed hands. The troll smiled at her when he noticed her watching him, before his attention went back to the soft drink in his hands. Easily he twisted off the bottle cap and without preamble he took two long swigs of the drink.

Jane eyed him, jittery and nervous, as she absently started to clean her baking equipment, rinsing out the bowls in the sink and scrubbing at them with the brush. Gamzee carried on drinking the faygo without a care, swigging back the bottle in deep gulps. Jane bemusedly wondered who would win in a drinking contest between him and Roxy, before mentally chiding herself; Roxy didn't drink anymore and she had no idea if Gamzee could even _get_ drunk-

_You're stalling, just talk to him. Anything. Trying starting out with a simple 'hello.'_

"Hi Gam-" Jane squeaked as her voice cracked violently when she attempted to say the last part of his name. Coughing, she leaned against the sink, face going crimson. _Smooth, Jane._ Wheezing slightly she quickly dried off her hands on a tablecloth.

Clearing her throat, Jane tried again, "Hello, Gamzee. How are you?" Inwardly she cringed. Well alright, being silver-tongued wasn't her forte.

Gamzee, to his credit, didn't snigger or laugh at her brief word failure. Instead he took another gulp of the drink before getting her a toothy smile, long teeth faintly stained blue as he replied, "What's happen, sis?"

"Oh, just making some chocolate chip cookies," Jane said briskly, easily loosing her nervousness as she spoke about the familiar topic of baking, "I decided to whip up a batch; not only do they taste delicious they also smell just wonderful."

The troll took another loud slurp of his drink, "Ain't gonna contest that. Shit fuckin' smells right up and divine."

"Do you bake?"

"Not much as I did back in those sickening old days, back before everything got up and fierce. Now I'm all outta motherfuckin' slime, so no point in whipping up some sicknasty pies."

Jane wasn't too sure what slime was but she just jotted it down to alien ingredients, "Well, that's a shame. It's always relaxing to just bake, especially after stressful day. It's even better to make some delicious baking and share it with friends. Do you have anyone close to you that you could bake for? I could teach you some human recipes, and I have all the ingredients for most of them here."

_So subtle, Jane. So darn subtle._

An odd, dark expression flitted across Gamzee's painted face, so quickly she nearly missed it, before the troll shrugged, "Nah, I'll just keep up with this fuckin' bitchtits bottle of faygo I'm getting my sup on. This shit is so motherfucking divine. Where'd you find all this delicious?"

"Oh, I um, made some with the Alchemiter. It took me a few tries to get any good flavours; I mainly combined some baking with dozens of bottles of water Roxy gave me. Both she and Dirk are extremely survivalist orientated from their upbringing so they have thousands of caches of water and food scattered all over the place in case of emergencies."

Gamzee glanced down at the half-empty bottle in his hands, a bemused expression on his face, "What, you fired up your miracle maker to make me some wicked elixir?"

"Well, yes," Jane said awkwardly, "Why wouldn't I? That's what friends do for each other, do nice little things."

_Darnit, you don't want him as a friend! You're doing the exact same thing you did with Jake! Damage control, quick!_

"Or girlfriends do with their boyfriends," Jane blurted, staring at the counter and refusing to look at Gamzee, "Because that would be alright if you think that. I suppose. If you're alright with it. Hmm."

Jane absently picked at the counter with a finger nail, feeling her ears burning. Fine, she wasn't exactly a smooth operator- worse case scenario Gamzee has no idea what she's talking about and she could flee to her room in shame.

It wasn't until long tangled locks of hair began to slowly intrude on the corner of her vision did she realize Gamzee was leaning forward towards her. She glanced up and blinked as she almost came nose to nose with Gamzee. Instinctively she backed up a step at his proximity, while a part of her mind noted that the position couldn't be good for his spine.

The expression on his face was pensive, but Jane wasn't too sure if he even understood what she meant. Did trolls even _have_ girlfriends? Well, she knew the Batterwitch had been married to her great-grandfather for some reason, (she doubted Lord English ordered her to do it) but she wasn't sure if the Condesce was fully troll or still masquerading as a human back then. Odd how she'd heard all about terrible things about the Condesce yet she'd never heard anything bad about her marriage to Colonel Sassacre. But that was the Batterwitch, who was clearly clinically insane. Gamzee was as different from that psycho water troll as Jane was from Guy Fieri.

Jane was getting a little uncomfortable at being under Gamzee's continued scrutiny even if his gaze had relaxed slightly. She started to nervously scratch at her knuckles, half thinking she should leave or...aimlessly open the oven and check the cookies despite the fact they still had a quarter of an hour left to bake properly. Yes, she'd do just that-

Gamzee's loud laugh stopped her panicked thinking; the troll had straightened up, an amused smile on his face. She could see the blue stains on his white fangs as he spoke, "Is that why you're bribing me with this sweet-as elixir, you want me as a....some kind of motherfucking best alien friend or some shit?"

_No,_ Jane thought, standing stock still like she'd been paralyzed while her mouth felt as if it was glued shut, _Not that._

Gamzee carried on talking, seemingly oblivious to her inner turmoil, "Well, I don't have a best friend anymore, that's all broken shattered diamond shards after falling right off the motherfucking quadrant tightrope. Though if you want to come and snap at some of the wicked bitchtits faygo with me like some aliensis humantroll best friend you all up and can." With that he offered her the half-empty bottle of Jazzin' Blue Berry faygo, the contents fizzling softly as he shook the drink slightly.

_For goodness sake! Say something to him about it! Not as a friend, you have to be clear, darnit._

"What, you don't have a best friend anymore?" Jane blurted, trying to figure out a way to state her not-so-platonic interest without coming across as immensely pitiful and desperate, "Well that's terrible. I'm sorry to hear about that."

The troll's expression tightened slightly and Jane realized his best friend could be dead for all she knew and she inwardly cursed at herself for being so insensitive. Before she could speak however Gamzee spoke, "Ain't something I've all been at in a while, so no motherfucking sicknasty shit came out of it. He ain't into that blaspheme romance anymore, so it's better off all shattered and dead."

Jane struggled to keep her face sympathetic even as she felt as if someone had doused her in cold water at his use of pronouns, _Shit, he's into boys. Oh gosh, why do I keep on hitting on guys who are gay? He must call his boyfriends best friends or something...Odd, but probably an alien thing. But he's into boys? Again with this?_

Well, at least she knew his preference before she pathetically threw herself at him like some desperate housewife. Twisting a hand into the fabric of her sunflower dress, Jane plastered on a fake smile and patted Gamzee on the arm. It was supposed to be a gesture of sympathy but Jane patted him a bit too hard even as she miserably thought that maybe she was supposed to be alone for the rest of her life. She should just be grateful he wanted to even been friends with a loser like her. Forcing her smile to soften somewhat, Jane hastened to say some comforting words to him.

"I'm sorry, Gamzee. It mustn't have been nice to loose a friendship. I'm sure you'll find someone else to be your...erm, boyfriend."

Gamzee gave her an odd look from where he was perched on the bench but nonetheless replied, "Well, I did have a sickening pitch smoldering around; she was irate at what a piece of clown trash I am and it was all sicknasty and blackening. But that's all motherfuckin' shade and spilled now and I ain't got time for her shitty skyblood fairy-lightened gander bulbs either."

"Gamzee, you shouldn't say such horrible things about yourself," Jane instantly scolded, ignoring the hypocrisy of her words as soon as they left her mouth, "Wait, she? Was she...also your girlfriend at some point?"

_Okay, so he's bisexual? That's good. But gosh, maybe it's bad form to hit on him if he just broke up with someone? But it seems like he's already had a few relationships and maybe if I just ask..._ Jane dithered to herself as she glanced over at the oven before looking back at Gamzee.

The troll shrugged before taking another gulp from the blue faygo, nearly swallowing half of the remaining soda. Jane had no idea how he managed to scull it down like that; her nose and eyes would burn and she'd burp outrageously if she even took a moderate gulp of a fizzy drink.

"Not really," Gamzee said after he wiped at his mouth, "Just right up seemed like a fresh ruckus to get my spade on with her for some motherfucking reason. It did get my salt on all proper but it was just from the mother fuckin' way side of nothing. So fuck it, spade is all broken and shattered just like my diamond which ain't even as good as the pale. Ain't all glittery though, just lying there like a rotten noise."

Jane was struggling to decipher Gamzee's odd lingo- from what she could understand, he'd apparently had a boyfriend and a girlfriend at some point. The boyfriend apparently resulted in an amicable breakup, whereas with the girl it had apparently ended bitterly and badly. She felt guilty now, as if she was plotting to take advantage of someone emotionally vulnerable. Well, first she needed to broach the topic-

"How about you, humansis? You up and being in the romance ruckus?"

Shaking her head, Jane leaned against the counter, the coolness of the marble seeping through the thin fabric of her dress, "No...I mean, I would really like to, but there isn't really much opportunities here, it's such a kerfuffle of romance and I made a horrid mess of things and nearly ruined some of my friendships through my stupid actions."

Shame caused her body to flush hot and she glanced away. Well, at least Gamzee hadn't been there to see her initial rage fit so that was something.

The clown let out a loud huff of air through his nose, "Yeah, that shit ain't as miraculous as all that motherfucking schoolfeeding would make you see."

"Yeah..." Jane nervously played with a lock of her hair, curling it around her finger even as her mind blared at her, _Ask him ask him ask him gosh darnit._

Steeling her nerve Jane hesitatingly spoke up, attempting to seem nonchalant, "I hope those kind of unpleasant experiences haven't, erm, soured your attitude towards romance. I mean, none of my friends have really done it like you get in the movies, but surely there is someone out there for you."

_Or you could've ended that with 'how about in this kitchen wearing a nice dress covered in flowers, making biscuits and getting you faygo, try that one' so he'll really get the message but hey, hopefully that will work._

Gamzee shifted on the bench, shuffling forward until his legs were hanging over the edge. He carefully put the two still-full bottles on faygo next to him and took another sip from the blue berry bottle. He looked thoughtful- and almost slightly drunk like Roxy used to look after a few martinis -as he shifted slightly. Her eyes flicked up to his long horns and she felt her ears start to burn as she recalled her previous bout of unintentional groping.

_Or that ridiculous codpiece, ugh why must it draw the eyes..._ Jane straightened her glasses even as Gamzee managed to scull down the rest of the faygo before putting the empty bottle into his sylladex for some reason. Well, if he wanted an empty bottle it was his business.

"Ain't really sure about that shit. Quadrants are just all sick and broken at the motherfucking moment, like rotten miracles. Shit like that just ain't worth it for what the wicked zone is, despite some of the miracles that ain't all sassed like most. Suppose even a humansis like your sweet-ass baker self could get at some romance on without it turning all motherfuckin' broken and sick."

"Actually..."

_Short and quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Worst case scenario he says 'no' and you break another table or something. Go go go._

"Well, would you date me? Have me as a girlfriend?"

Gamzee stared at her; she stared right back, heart hammering. She knew she was blushing furiously and her stomach was turning into a knot but refused to lower her gaze.

For a long while the troll didn't respond and Jane was half-convinced he was going to leave when he asked quietly, "Are you trying to get some pale-glow at me?"

"...Could you elaborate, please?" Jane's fingers were starting to ache from the force she was exerting on them in her clenched fists but she carried on talking, "I'm unsure what you mean by pale-glow. But what I'm meaning is I wouldn't mind having you as my boyfriend. Like, romantically. Like how we were kissing before." Her words were barely more than a whisper towards the end.

Gamzee didn't react to that, just continued to watch her with his yellow, cat-like eyes. Then slowly he slid off the kitchen counter, stepping onto the tiles with a fluid movement. Standing upright he was taller than her, with his chin being at the height of her brow. However he hunkered his shoulders slightly, still watching her through the wild snarls of his loose hair. Jane remained where she was, fists clenched, face red. Well, she'd made her intentions loud and clear.

Jane instinctively flinched when long yellow claws touched the side of her face, her glasses being knocked askew with her jolt. However his fingers were gentle and she leaned slightly into them in the same way he'd be doing to her earlier. The coolness of his skin caused a faint ripple of goosebumps to erupt over her skin.

Gamzee leaned forward, still looking at her as if she'd grow a second head. He was close enough she could smell the blueberry on his breath when he spoke, "You wanna get all soft and cozy in my heart quadrant? 'Cause that's a mighty lascivious sense of miraculous blasphemy right there, sis."

"I don't care."

He cocked his head to the side, a bemused smile cross his face, "Well, that solves that motherfuckin' noise. Ain't no conflict with your-"

Jane shushed him, placing a hand over his lips. Ignoring his almost scandalized expression she said, "I'm fine with being your girlfriend. More than fine, actually. I've been thinking it over the past few days and...shucks, I like you, Gamzee, You're weird and funny and most importantly you seem to care about me. I know, I've only known you a few months, but what's the harm in trying to be...something more than friends?"

Gamzee didn't bother waiting for her to remove her hand after her sudden spiel- instead he gave it a long lick with his rough tongue, causing Jane to shriek and jerk her hand back.

"Oh, you got slobber all over me!" Jane mock-scolded, giving him a playful swat on the chest even as he started chortling, "You're lucky I like you, buster." She smiled, feeling the nervous knot in her gut unclench.

Gamzee suddenly pulled Jane forward, gripping her arms and tugging her up against him. It was an awkward embrace, mainly due to the codpiece pressing up against Jane's hip, but she eagerly reciprocated the action, wrapping her arms shoulders and burying her hands in his rough hair. Gamzee's low exhale ruffled her hair and she felt him make an odd, humming noise as she started to scratch at the skin of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw as she did so.

"Aw, you're all sweet and soft, sis," Gamzee breathed, his breath tickling her hair and causing her to shiver, "Little flushed heart, all hot and warm like liquid miracles of crimson..."

Her nerves were taunt, either from his proximity or his words she wasn't sure, and she wasn't certain what to make of his ramblings. But nonetheless she murmured back, "Well, I don't mind being a miracle, if you want me to be."

Putting his claws on her shoulders Gamzee carefully pushed her back until he was looking at her full on, eyes gleaming with an odd emotion she couldn't identify, "You all up with that? Being my flushed heart to my own nasty clown self?"

"Yes. Do you mind being my boyfriend?" Jane asked, giddy and reckless and feeling as if her head was too light.

"Nah, I think I can deal with that scandalous noise-"

Gamzee barely managed to finish his sentence before Jane all but pounced on him, jumping up and pulling him into a strong kiss, hands gripping his horns. The troll let out a muffled yelp, stumbling backwards a few steps until his back hit the kitchen counter. Jane ignored that, instead dragging her hands down his horns and rubbing at the skin of his scalp around them. She felt more than heard the growl Gamzee let out and suddenly he was kissing her roughly back, teeth roughly nipping her lips and his long tongue exploring her mouth. The contrast of her hot tongue and his cold one caused her to shiver, feeling as if someone had sent an electric shock down her spine.

It was if a switch had been flipped; now all Jane wanted to do was rip his clothes off right then and there in the kitchen. Screw the cookies in the oven; it was if all her sleeping hormones had suddenly gone rampant, responding to Gamzee's hands dragging down her back and his tongue twisting in her mouth. Her skin felt too tight and her body too hot and she moaned into his mouth, tasting blood from the small cuts his teeth had made on her lips.

Eagerly Jane pressed herself more firmly against Gamzee's lanky frame, digging her fingers into his horn bed and rutting against his codpiece. The stiff fabric was pressing hard against her groin, rubbing against her through the thin cloth of her dress and underwear as she half-climbed up the troll. A steady pulse began to throb between her legs and Jane started to roughly yank at his clothes, suddenly frustrated at the amount of clothes they were both wearing.

"Ah ah ah," Gamzee pulled away from her lips, pupils blown wide and breath rough, "Gotta be- have to be motherfuckin' care with these, sis. Ain't gonna wreck this righteous outfit."

Instantly Jane's nervousness flooded back, causing her to lean backwards and flushing brightly, "O-oh, I'm sorry. Shucks, I wasn't being too rough, wasn't I?"

The loud snort from the troll caused her to blush deeper, watching as Gamzee grinned at her, his lips wet, "Nah, sis. Just don't want you to to bring wreckage on the miraculous outfit with grasping fronds."

"Well, yes," Jane said breathlessly, "Are we-"

Jane broke off, stepping back to avoid getting an elbow to the face as Gamzee suddenly reached up and started to drag at the fabric of his shirt. She averted her eyes, feeling oddly self conscious and apprehensive as he pulled off the thick purple fabric of his shirt. It took him a few moments, due to his wild hair snagging and this long horns getting tangled in the fabric but before she could say anything or offer aid he had shucked off his shirt. With a strange amount of gentleness he placed the heavy fabric on the counter, before turning back to a flustered Jane was watching him. A large-toothed smile appeared on his face and Jane couldn't help but smile back at him.

Slowly she inched forward, curious and still flustered. Gamzee noticed her not-so-subtle approach and easily dragged her into another hug. Jane lightly hugged him back, ignoring the persistent throb between her legs to savour the hug between them. It didn't stay tame for long as she soon felt one of Gamzee's hands start to drag down her side, the long claws slicing through thin fabric. Ignoring this Jane kissed his throat, nibbling gently at the skin and feeling the tendons flex with his quickened breathing. Cool breath huffed against her ear and she felt long, sharp teeth carefully nip at the thin flesh.

Pulling away from the hug, she slid a hand along his shoulder blades as she studied his bare chest. Jane was fascinated to find that he had no nipples nor a bellybutton. Curious, she ran her hands lightly across his sternum before sliding her fingers down and tracing the oddly empty space of his chest, also discovering that he had no body hair to speak of. Instead the grey skin was smooth and oddly tough, as if it was a lot denser than human's skin. The low purring kicked up again with her gentle exploration and she felt Gamzee start to nuzzle her hair, his claws catching on the sides of her dress.

On either side of his ribs were three thick, raised bands, her hands just shy of touching them from where she had them resting on his ribs. They were a deep, shiny purple and Jane ran a finger across one, seeing the muscles of Gamzee's stomach spasm as she carefully stroked the smooth, almost chitinous bumps. With a deep rumble Gamzee half slumped over her, rubbing his face against her hair and forehead, smearing the areas with white paint. Jane nipped at his throat, dragging her nails along the grooves between the odd bumps. When her nails scraped the grey skin where the lowest ridge was growing from Gamzee let out a high-pitched trilling noise as he jolted against her.

Jane's eyebrows shot up and she quickly retracted her hand, afraid she'd harmed him, asking "Gamzee? Are you- Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" She attempted to step away, ignoring the complaints from her flustered body but Gamzee held onto her, keeping her half pressed up against him even as he gazed down at her looking tipsy.

The troll coughed and honked a few times, before he managed to focus onto her. Gamzee finally managed to give her a lopsided smile, breath still quick and light.

"That's just... really motherfuckin' sensitive there, sis," he said, voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know...What are they?" She asked in a hushed voice, trailing her fingers along his ribcage, making sure she didn't touch the odd lumps.

Gamzee gave a low, throaty purr and his eyelids slid down to half mast. His voice was still rough when he spoke, "Just my lil' grub-legs from the sicknasty days of wigglerhood. Ain't nothing to worry your sweet lil' thinkpan about."

Jane was tempted to question him more on the apparent extra legs he'd once had but she was still flustered and aroused from their earlier grinding so instead she leaned forward, capturing Gamzee's cool lips in kiss. She gave him three quick, sweet kisses before drawing back, running a hand down his sternum saying teasingly, "Well, how about we just ignore those and you can start kissing me again?"

The troll blinked at her and Jane felt her mind stutter; she had no idea where that had just come from. Then he gave her a toothy smile, long fangs gleaming in the the fluorescent kitchen light. With a languorous movement he wrapped a long arm around her shoulder and tugged her back up against him, giving her a sloppy kiss.

Jane eagerly reciprocated, pressing against him and dragging her nails down his lean back. His codpiece was awkwardly pressing up against her again and Jane half-jumped up on the lean troll, licking at his lips and sinking her nails into his tough skin. She finally had to break away from the kiss, gasping slightly. Gamzee snuffled at her and started to mouth at her neck, his long teeth pinching slightly at the thin skin of her throat. A thrill ran up her spine at the proximity of the fangs at such a vulnerable area but other than that Jane felt no fear.

With a low moaned Jane slid her hands up and tangled them in the dense hair at the base of Gamzee's head. She arched up onto her tiptoes- ignoring the friction of that _ridiculous_ darn codpiece - and sank her teeth into his earlobe and with the loud _riiiiip_ his claws tore straight through the thin fabric of her dress and nearly shredded it right off her.

She let go of him with a yelp, instinctively jerking back and clutching at the scraps of fabric the upper part of her dress had turned into, the upper part of her dress mostly unfurled down to her waist. Jane plucked at the fabric but it was pretty much a lost cause and besides, she was wearing her plain black bra underneath. While Jane fretted over the tattered clothing Gamzee started to pluck at the strap of her bra, a bemused expression on his face. Jane ignored the skitter of claws on her skin, instead running her fingers through the clawed-up strips of her dress again.

"Well, luckily I'm not clothes-crazy, buster," Jane mock-scolded as the kitchen air chilled her exposed skin. Though she felt flighty and nervous she also felt oddly...secure with her near-nakedness, as if she already knew Gamzee wouldn't mock her. Then again, he walked around without shame wearing a codpiece so it was obvious from the get-go that he wasn't exactly concerned about fashion or appearance.

Despite that she was still self-conscious at being potentially naked with another person even if her hormones thought it was an excellent idea. As it was, the troll plucked at the strap one more before dragging her back up against him. Jane shivered at her flushed skin being pressed against his colder flesh.

"Fuck, I ruined your pretty lil' flower dress," he murmured into her hair, long claw-tipped fingers pressing into the soft muscles along her exposed back.

"It's alright...I suppose I should have seen this issue coming. You don't exactly have...have...." Jane trailed off as Gamzee started to mouth at her ear and then down her throat, rough tongue lathing at sensitive skin. His cold breath and saliva caused goosebumps to ripple over her skin. Jane hummed and tipped her head back, enjoying the feeling and scratching lightly at Gamzee's sides, taking care to avoid the grubscars.

It wasn't until Gamzee started to work his way across her front that Jane started to get self conscious again, hunching her shoulders slightly. Gamzee didn't pay any attention to Jane's fidgeting, instead he started nuzzling at her breasts, nipping at upper, exposed slopes of soft flesh. His hands slid down her back, tearing away stray scraps of fabric and leaving faint scratches along her skin. He started to tug at her bra a few times before finally pulling away from her, an expression of annoyance on his paint-smeared face.

Growling lowly he started to tug at it with more strength, though all he succeeded at doing was yanking Jane back and forth a few times. With a yelp she instinctively seized a hold of Gamzee's bony shoulders to avoid being knocked over.

"Oh for- here, _I'll_ undo it-" Jane muttered, letting go of him to reach around for the latches at her back. Inwardly she couldn't help but giggle at the thought that he was, like most males, thwarted by the complex enigma of a bra. _Seems some things_ do _cross over species._

As Jane unhinged the clips she realized Gamzee was _sniffing_ her, deep thick snorts as he ran his face along the arch of her neck while panting roughly. His hands were sliding slowly up her bare thighs, the skirts of her dress bunching up around his bony wrists. Her breath came in quick pants as she struggled to pry her bra off, distracted by the troll's eager snuffling and his hands which were still caressing her naked thighs.

With a grunt she managed to unhook the small tabs and then stopped, suddenly frozen by shyness. Gamzee didn't seem to mind; he started purring and nudged her towards him and pulled her back into a kiss while his hands gripped her thighs. It was sweet and gentle and caused Jane to relax against him, carefully easing her lips against his rougher ones. She carefully pulled back and, in one quick movement she finally shucked off her bra, tossing the black material on the floor.

She shivered as the cold air assailed the exposed flesh, causing her nipples to harden and Jane immediately averted her eyes from Gamzee, suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment. Jane attempted to take a few steps backwards but Gamzee tightened his grip on her legs and pulled her back towards him. She was about to snap at him when he bent his head down and started nuzzling her breasts, stalling her protests.

Jane's breath hitched and she squirmed eagerly against him, nervousness chased away by a wave of arousal and affection. One of his hands moved from a thigh to her breast and he pulled his head back and started to knead at the supple flesh with an expression of intense fascination. Jane leaned against him, rasping heavily and feeling her legs shake from his gentle exploration. Curious, Gamzee dipped his head, a horn nearly knocking off Jane's glasses, before he carefully licked at her nipple, his rough tongue sending a hot flush of arousal bolting through her.

Deep throaty purrs were rumbling from Gamzee's chest and throat, the vibrations burrowing right down into Jane's bones and making her moan. Jane sagged against the troll as he continued to lave at her breast and nipple with his coarse tongue, teeth scraping the thin skin. Jane squirmed as the heat between her legs grew more intense and she grabbed a hold of Gamzee's horns as her legs nearly buckled. Inspiration struck and she slid down her hands and dug her fingers into the soft skin of his horn bed.

Gamzee let out a weird trilling, crooning noise before he jerked away from her and hitting the kitchen counter with a thud and a grunt. Jane nearly fell over at the sudden movement and stumbled back, confused and aroused.

"Did you not like-" Jane broke off, choking on her words as Gamzee simply shucked off his pants, shoes and codpiece in one go and put them down on the counter with his shirt. For a second Jane wondered if being an alien clown came with advanced de-clothing abilities before she stopped and stared. She knew it was rude, but she couldn't help herself. Instead of the typical genitalia she'd been expecting there was.... something long and serpentine squirming between his legs.

For the most part Gamzee didn't seem to mind her blatant staring, just giving her a toothy smile and settling down on the floor with his back against the cabinets with something tentacle-like and purple slid against his thighs. Jane continued to stare, mind stuttering before Gamzee gave a loud _honk_ at her and patted the tiles next to him. Jane hesitated before she slowly moved forward, intending to settle down next to him, but he managed to snag her by the wrist and yanked her down on his lap with a single tug. She gave a yelp at the sudden movement and fell down- she was fairly sure Gamzee got a faceful of her breasts as she fell on him- before regaining her balance while half slumped on Gamzee's lap. She managed to lean upright and shuffled back so she was more-so sitting astride his knees, hands resting on his bony shoulders.

Jane smiled at Gamzee, "Hey, you."

"Sup, lil maid," Gamzee replied, eyes half lidded and expression relaxed as he settled his hands on her sides.

The chill from his skin was in direct constant to Jane's heated flesh and she sighed slightly as he kneaded at the supple skin. Jane belatedly realized she was legitimately _fine_ with him touching her in such a manner and being half-naked in front of him. She had been self conscious and embarrassed earlier but Gamzee's utter lack of judgement and his odd, almost fascinated exploration of her body had eased her fears. A sudden, wet coldness caused her to jump; the weird slimy tentacle which she was fairly sure was supposed to be his dick was running along the inside of her thigh. While Jane had been on the receiving end of sex ed talks- both with her father and at school, both of which embarrassed her beyond reason- it really hadn't covered sex with an alien species. Oh well, Jane would just have to do some trial and error. While she was watching the odd tendril slithering along her leg she realized Gamzee was talking. She missed most of the sentence and just got the tail end of it.

"...Or we can just get our grasping fronds and gander bulbing back on."

Jane had no idea what a 'grasping frond' or 'gander bulbing' was. It sounded almost like something a botanist or gardener would say. To be fair, for all she knew Gamzee _was_ a complete green thumb. But regardless, she concluded that even though Gamzee was clearly interested- if the squirming tentacle tickling her thigh was any indication- she felt almost obligated to explain something to him first about her...experience level.

"Um, okay. I...I haven't really done anything like this before," Jane said as she looked up him, nervous, "So I won't be really...good at it or anything."

The troll promptly gave her a kiss that seemed more drool than kiss, before nuzzling her face and smearing more white streaks across her skin. Jane relaxed against him, resting her head against Gamzee's sternum while inhaling his odd smell of citrus and paint, which was accompanied by a strange underlying coppery scent.

"I ain't all good at this shit either," he said against her throat, somehow purring and talking simultaneously, "At least ain't up and flushed in a tenacious heart miracle like now. Don't wanna fall off this tightrope and get a hearty reproach. We can just get all motherfuckin' fumbling exploring on each others beauty and see if we can make any miracles out of this noise."

Jane relaxed slight at his admission; well, at least she wasn't the only one who didn't really know what they were doing, so even if she screwed up he wouldn't mind too much. Leaning back, Jane decided to try and take initiative; she carefully went to touch the tendril which was still sliding against the insides of her thighs like some curious purple snake. She nudged Gamzee to see his reaction but all he did was hum against her throat and tugged her body closer to his. Taking this as a green light, Jane moved her hand down.

Curious Jane tentatively touched it; instantly the cold tentacle-thing slithered around her fingers, smearing her skin with a faint purple goo. Giggling she rubbed it with her finger tips, the odd almost-scaly texture scraping her fingers. Four long lines of raised bumps ran from narrow tip to thick base. Even as she squeezed the tendril more of it seemed to slip out of Gamzee, who was purring loudly against her neck.

_It's ribbed for our pleasure,_ a sly voice sniggered in her head; Jane choked violently then burst out into a fit of giggles, pressing against Gamzee's cool chest as she rocked back and forth laughing. The troll nipped at her ear with long teeth, his pants cooling her heated skin but she could hear a few breathy chuckles of his own mixed in amongst the shallow breaths. Struggling to control her laughter Jane tugged at the tentacle slightly, her breath hitching at the odd, chirping noise Gamzee let out.

"I think it likes me," she murmured to him, knocking her glasses askew as she nudged his cheek with her nose.

"Hmmm..." Gamzee's breath was getting thick and guttural, his hips twitching with each tug of her fingers, "Wanting to get close to those blasphemy molten crimson under there. Motherfuckin' heat is burning through my motherfucking bulge like a wicked sun."

_So it was called a bulge?_ Jane guessed calling it a 'mini octopus arm' was a bit politically incorrect and rude. At least she had a name for it now.

Carefully she threaded her fingers around the bulge, squeezing a few of the bumps between her thumb and forefinger and making more of the purple slime spurt forth. Gamzee let out a weird coughing whine and his claws dug into her sides. At the pinpricks of pain Jane jolted, breath hitching. The ache between her legs was distracting and making her thoughts muddy. Her underwear was uncomfortable and damp, causing her to squirm on Gamzee's lap.

Then Jane wasn't too sure what happened; one moment she was shifting on top on Gamzee the next one of his hands had slid down and without preamble he tore off her underwear with a careless rip. Jane yelped and jerked back, inadvertently yanking hard on Gamzee's bulge as she did so. The noise he let out reminded Jane of the time she accidentally hit one of Roxy's cats with a shoe; a yelp of pain and rage.

Immediately Jane let go of purple tendril, pressing her hands against the side of Gamzee's face and giving him numerous soft little kisses while murmuring gentle apologies. The low snarling that he'd started up when she yanked on him slowly began to subside as she continued to pat and stroke his face. Jane was a bit concerned that his usually yellow sclera's had shifted to a vibrant orange but she figured it was some kind of physical indication of the pain she'd inadvertently caused him.

"Oh gosh Gamzee, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You just startled me, I'm sorry," Jane kissed Gamzee a few more times, her stomach clenching and making her feel almost nauseous. Typical; her first sexual experience and she nearly ripped her boyfriend's alien dick off by accident. _Oh god, I really am pathetic and stupid-_

Gamzee's hand touching her face stopped that self-hating rant before it could get rolling. His claws trailed along the side of her face, straightening her glasses as he did so. His other hand was still resting the side of her thigh, the tattered scraps of her underwear still tangled in his yellow claws. The ferocity in his face had shifted back to softness, his black lips twitching into a lopsided smile.

"Nah, it's all good. Just don't strangle that sensitive shit in such a motherfuckin' tenacious grip."

"Of course, I'm so sorry. You just startled me and I didn't mean to hurt you..." Jane gave him another soft kiss, lingering against the black flesh of his lips.

Sucking in a breath Jane steeled herself and shuffled forward, her knees shifting over the cool kitchen tiles, thighs burning slightly as she moved further into Gamzee's lap. The long purple tendril, which had nearly retreated fully, tentatively began to ease back out as she got closer while undulating slightly like some odd, ribbed worm.

For a split second Jane's mind bulked at having such an alien appendage anywhere near her, but it was buried under arousal, rampant hormones and an almost overwhelming need to connect, to feel _intimate_ , to someone else. She wrapped her arms around Gamzee's neck and settled fully onto his lap, the skirts of her ruined dress rucked up around her hips. Nervous, she felt something cool and wet touch her inner thighs then against rough curls, and Gamzee huffed against her throat, his purring starting back up again.

For a moment there was fumbling, Jane shifting in anticipation and sinking her nails into the tough skin at the back of the troll's neck while Gamzee gripped a hold of her hips and pulled her flush up against him. Then the long purple bulge slid against heated slick flesh and after a brief pause it squirmed up and into her. Jane stiffened at such an alien _thing_ wiggling inside her then a second later she was clinging to his bony shoulders, nails sinking into tough grey skin.

Jane shook violently, the coldness of Gamzee's bulge contrasting wildly with her overheated flesh. Gasping she arched up against him, brain stuttering to a halt, as she rocked back and forth with her eyes half shut. Her hard nipples scraped across her chest, sending small bolts of pleasure rolling down her body where it matched the steady pulse in her groin. Gamzee was making low, rasping chirping noises like some demented cricket and his claws were making shallow cuts on her sides, drawing blood, as he snuffled at her neck.

Her body felt too hot and her skin too tight and she was making low broken moans as she shuddered, eyes fluttering shut. Absently she was aware her glasses had been knocked off and had clattered onto the floor as she started to nip at Gamzee's face, ignoring the bitterness of paint on her tongue. Gamzee returned the gesture, the kiss rough and almost filthy as he licked and bit at the inside of her mouth.

It wasn't until his odd tentacle/bulge began to undulate inside her that Jane broke off the kiss and started to keen, broken and stuttering as the ridges along the tendril rubbed up against her sensitive inner walls and pressed up against a deep, pulsing heat inside her. Her breath was quick and raspy and her nails were sinking into his skin and drawing faint droplets of blood along his shoulder blades.

Then the bulge shifted up and the ridges squeezed _something_ between the thick bumps and Jane shrieked and pleasure shot through her body so strongly she nearly fell off Gamzee's lap.

Jane remained slumped against Gamzee, panting against his throat, body slick with sweat. Her muscles twitched and jerked, tremors racking her frame. She groaned faintly as Gamzee's bulge continued to squirm and flex inside of her, stroking at her overly sensitive inner walls. Belatedly she was aware of the pained whines Gamzee was making as he nuzzled at her neck and shook against her.

Groggily Jane forced herself to move, leaning back and shifting so she was sitting on Gamzee's knees rather than right in his lap. She moaned faintly as his bulge slid out of her, squirming against sensitive flesh before it finally slipped out.

Struggling to focus Jane glanced up at Gamzee's face, seeing the discomfort in his features. Momentarily she felt guilty at reaching climax while her partner remained distressed and unsatisfied only for her mind to immediately snap at her to _do something about it and stop complaining._

With a huff Jane reached down and carefully touched his still squirming bulge, the tendril eagerly wrapping around her shaking fingers and squeezing. Rhythmically she clenched her fingers, smiling faintly as Gamzee's breath hitched with each pull of her hands. After a few tugs and still Gamzee whined and twisted, she moved one hand down and squeezed at the base of the thick tentacle. Baffled, she noticed a small puddle of slimy purple fluid, like the stuff seeping from his bulge, dripping down around his inner thighs and on the tiles below.

Curious she shifted her hand lower, below the thick base of his bulge and frowned slightly when her fingers found a soft, wet opening.

_Is that a...?_ She trailed off before easily slipping in three fingers past the slick lips, feeling muscles clench around her hand and Gamzee let out a high, raspy moan. She let go of his bulge with her other hand and reached up from the thick purple bumps on one side of his ribcage.

Then Jane wasn't really sure what happened; one second she was pressing up against Gamzee, squirming her fingers inside his cool body and she'd scratched at his grubscar with the other hand while relishing his breathy gasps and the next their lap, legs and half the floor were covered in a thick purple slime and Gamzee slumped against her with a broken whine.

Jane instantly pulled her hand away, which was soaked nearly to the elbow in the weird gel, shock and confusion numbing her mind.

"Gamzee, what...what _is_ this?" She asked, staring at the mess that seemed to be everywhere. Gamzee gave no answer or response as she continued, "Where did it...Wait, are you okay? Oh gosh, you're not hurt, are you?!"

In panic she grabbed a hold of Gamzee's shoulder and roughly shook the troll, half convinced she'd accidentally killed him. However her violent shaking got a very much-alive response accompanied with a confused, if not groggy, honk. Jane dragged him back into a hug, ignoring the purple slime coating most of their bodies and a large portion of the floor surround them.

"Oh thank goodness...Are you alright? I didn't do something wrong, did I? What _is_ all this purple stuff? I swear, if it's like...spawning eggs that frogs sometimes do I am going to _loose_ it, buster."

Gamzee cracked up laughing at that, honking a few more times and shaking in her embrace, "Nah, nah, it ain't motherfucking featherbeast spawn...it just all the miracles of our sicknasty genetic material from our miracle making."

"Genetic material...?" Jane pulled back, looking into Gamzee's content face- his face-paint was smeared all over but he gave her a fond, dreamy smile which she couldn't help but return one of her own before her mind caught up with her, "Wait, you mean this is all of your....? Oh good god-"

Jane started to giggle then burst out into honest laughter, still naked from the waist up and half-wrapped around Gamzee. The troll didn't mind and just started to rub his face against hers like an affectionate cat, smearing more paint across her cheek and forehead as he purred happily. She stroked his bony back, feeling sated and content.

_Okay, so maybe we'll need to make sure we're in a tub or...I don't know, have a bucket and a hose handy next time we decided to spend quality time with our new boyfriend,_ her mind pointed out tartly, _But hey, I'm fairly sure we're the first ones to loose our virginity out of our little group. Hoo hoo, we _so_ _rule.__

Pressing a soft kiss to Gamzee's forehead Jane couldn't help but blush, feeling equal parts happy and smug.

* * *

 

After some cajoling she managed to get Gamzee to follow her to the bathroom upstairs, both of them still covered in the purple sludge. Jane still couldn't really understand how there was so much and she made a note to get Gamzee to drink something afterwards in case he was dehydrated. However in the meantime she insisted that they both have a shower to get the stuff off them. Gamzee seemed to just find it amusing as she dragged him up the stairs by the wrist while he was naked and Jane wearing her shredded dress without any underwear.

Jane just threw her ruined dress in the trash can in the corner of the bathroom when they reached it, knowing that the stains would most likely never come out and it was nearly shredded in half to boot. With Gamzee's outfit she put it in the sink, promising the troll she'd put it in the washing machine later to get any stains out. He didn't like having the outfit out of his sight, so she left the shower door open so the bundles of purple fabric remained within his line of sight.

Gamzee was oddly reluctant to take a shower and eventually Jane had to yell and outright shove him into the tub, directly underneath the shower head. Jane knew she probably should be a bit more self-conscious about the fact she was lecturing her new alien boyfriend while naked and covered in scratch and bite marks, as well as...troll fluids, but she figured he'd already seen everything. Also Gamzee seemed immensely uncaring by her nakedness or his own. Jane figured he was one of those people who would wander about their houses naked on the weekends or randomly go skinny dipping because they just felt like it.

Not for the first time she wondered why he hadn't bothered Roxy more than her- skinny dipping and streaking were things on Ro-Lal had indulged in from time to time. While Jane didn't really mind trying to max out her prankster gambit, rampant neighbourhood nudity was a line she wasn't going to cross in a hurry.

She pushed at Gamzee's shoulder blades until he got the hint and sat down. It didn't escape Jane's notice he kept a constant eye on where the codpiece and the rest of his clothes were; she wondered why the...thing seemed to important to him. Maybe it was something about the religion he mentioned? Or it was a gift from a family member or a friend? Probably another clown, if the fairly outrageous clothes indicated anything. Jane could understand using clothing and props for a good prank; she'd done on more than one occasion.

While musing about his fashion choices she started washing his hair, dousing the thick strands with hot water from the shower head. Gamzee gave her an odd look when she initially asked him but nonetheless allowed her to start grooming him, Jane slapping a generous amount of shampoo in his hair. It was hard work since his hair was ridiculously thick and through her working it into the strands with her fingers she pulled out odd things from the black threads, including sticks of chalk, bottle caps and some tiny lucky charms.

By the time she finished lathing up his hair into a frothy mess, her fingers and hands ached but Gamzee was purring happily from her ministrations and pressing back into her fingers and Jane couldn't help but feel a warm glow of affection grow in her gut. _This_ was what she wanted, a boyfriend to look after, to shower with affection. It sounded ridiculous, but Jane had always wanted someone to care for, to love and comfort and be with. While Gamzee wasn't exactly what you'd call normal, even ignoring the obvious alien part, he letting her tick a lot of the other boxes.

* * *

 

The hardest part after the shower was convincing Gamzee to let her take his purple outfit so she could put it in the washing machine and get it clean. She had, naturally, just gotten some clothes from her drawers - simple trousers and a shirt- but Gamzee only had one set of clothes. She lectured, threatened, bribed and begged for over half an hour before she managed to get him to agree to let her clean it.

Even then he insisted on crouching in front of the washer, buck naked and watching his clothes swirl around in the front-end loader. Jane went red-faced whenever she entered the laundry room to fetch the heavily-duty cleaning supplies in order to fix up the mess in the kitchen, having failed to convince Gamzee to wear some temporary clothes. When she wasn't averting her eyes awkwardly she noted with some concern at how skinny he was; she could see all the bones of his ribcage and spine, the sharp angles of his hipbones and ridged lines shoulder blades under his grey skin. She made a mental note to make Gamzee something to eat after she was finished with the cleaning.

When she'd managed to mop up most of the purple...mess, the cycle had finished on Gamzee's clothes. The troll watched her like a hawk as she pulled the wet outfit from the washing machine and carefully piled it into the dryer after sternly informing Gamzee he wasn't allowed to put it on yet, wait for the red light to turn green and _would you please put on some darn clothes?!_

Of course he didn't pay attention, just snorted and proceeded to switch his unblinking stare to the dryer as she picked up a heavy container from the cleaning cabinet and let him be. Jane had gone back the kitchen and finished the basic mopping before switching the bucket contents to harsh wax and started to work it into the tiles. With steady, even sweeps she careful polished the kitchen floor, ignoring her own exhaustion, knowing that if she left this the kitchen could wind up stained as if someone had splashed half of the room with purple juice.

By the time Jane had cleaned and polished the room Gamzee had reappeared, clad in his freshly cleaned and dried purple clown outfit. Jane felt the urge to hit him with the mop at how normal he looked (for an alien clown anyway) while she felt nervous and high-strung. She felt half-convinced that when he appeared through the door way he was going to dismiss her or tell her none of it mattered. Jane felt panicked and flushed cold as irrational fear and anger invaded her mind. However her ire instantly vanished when he wandered over to her and wrapped her up in an embrace, honking softly against her hair and proceeding to purr happily against her. His clothes were warm from the dryer but his skin was cool. Jane instantly dropped her mop and returned the hug, feeling giddy like a schoolgirl as her fear vanished and, for the first time in a while, honestly _happy_.

When it came down to it, she did it. Despite all her misgivings, apprehension and nervousness she managed to successfully woo an alien from another universe.

And how many people could claim _that?_

* * *

 

  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has begun Pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
  
TG: heeeeey janey  
TG: janey  
TG: janey jane jane janeyroonie  
TG: you alright over there?  
TG: you kinda left inna pretty good rage and wouldn't talk to us for like a week. just remained holed up in that undead dirt rock of yours.  
TG: but i mean hey if a girl needs her space then a girl needs her space  
TG: i can totes respect that.  
TG: all the shit u were yelling, itd make sense you would be like 'hey fuck you bitches i'm doing my own thing for a while' and all that  
TG: but its been a week and still a no show  
TG: okay, nearly a fortnight you know what i mean  
TG: but i'm getting really fuckin close to marching over there and kicking your bootylicious behind.   
GG: Roxy!  
GG: Stop fussing, Mother Goose! :B  
GG: I'm fit as a fiddle.  
TG: bitch! where youve been?  
TG: i've been over here getting fucking grey hairs!  
TG: going crazy from all this shit, spending by spare time fucking laying into dirk and jake for being a bunch of fucknuts.  
TG: but males amirite, what can you do? cant live with em, cant kill em cause we're like the only four humans left lmao  
GG: There's no need to be so worried, Ro-lal!  
GG: I'm quite alright. I just needed some things to keep me occupied! Help me clear my head. :B  
TG: you seem pretty chipper after all of that shitstorm earlier  
GG: Well, I just needed some recuperation. :)  
TG: hey hey HEY!  
TG: dont you get all coy with me janey.  
TG: youre acting waaaay more happy than normal  
TG: like all that fury just washed about without talking to your friendly neighbourhood rogue?  
TG: whore you gossiping with?   
TG: lmao *who ARE  
TG: did you get another one of those sprites? like a good one not a shitty screamin one like you had before, cause that shit was fuckin whack.  
TG: wait wait, gimme a second to whip out the notepad and pen so you can spill your guts out to your sexy as fuck local therapist.  
GG: ROXY!  
GG: Honestly, you are making a mountain out of a molehill!  
TG: hey you were totes upset when you ran off.  
TG: ya just cant say 'heeey roxy, i fixed everything and im happy as fuck right now cause i managed to fix all my problems broodin on them on my lonely lone lonesome' and expect me not to go grey from stress after like a fuckin fortnight  
GG: I'm not saying anything of the sort!  
GG: I just had an ample opportunity to reflect on all my ahem problems, so to speak.  
TG: liar liar plants for hire  
GG: ...  
TG: okay you totes have to watch that show  
TG: but like seriously why are you so chipper janey??  
TG: you were throwing around a fuckload of fire at everyone before you stormed off  
TG: (good abscond tho lol)  
GG: Well yes, I was quite irate before I left!  
GG: And for a completely legitimate reason, might I add.  
TG: oh hey i aint arguing with you about that, you were right on the ball giving jakey the third degree  
TG: hes been half ripping his hair out wid worry tho  
TG: moaning and yahooing in his funny as fuck accent or whatever you call it  
TG: even dirk is gettin kinda antsy  
GG: Oh gosh, does Jake still think I'm all bent out of shape because of him?  
GG: That's quite the arrogant attitude. >:(  
TG: wait so your still mad?  
GG: No, I get that he was raised on an island with feral animals, so obviously he doesn't have the best...social mannerisms.  
GG: Even though his entire conversation with me was just a big train wreck from start to finish.  
GG: And now he's under the impression I spent this fortnight mooning over him. Hmm.  
TG: then what did you do? just chill there wid lil seb?  
GG: I have no idea where Lil Seb is. I haven't seen him in a while. I think Gamzee may have eaten him.  
TG: wait, you telling youve just been chillin' at your house with that weirdo clown?  
GG: He's not that weird.  
TG: he is so!  
TG: hes like some weirdo clown who honks like a goose  
TG: i mean that is kinda aborbs, the whole honking thing, but hes still a weirdo clown  
GG: You're a weirdo!  
GG: :P  
TG: omfg i dont think we can be together janey! im crying cause i'm never gonna have them buns of yours in my hands again!  
GG: Hoo hoo hoo! :B  
GG: Sorry, Ro-Lal! But my buns are off the market!  
TG: boo! remind me to go beat jakeys ass, how dare he mess wid my buns!  
GG: No, I'll speak with him later.  
TG: janey...  
GG: No, I need to speak with him and clear the air. There's only four of us, and I won't ruin that by acting petulant.  
TG: awwww but i dont want you to get hurt again! what with all that stupid shit with those stupid boys.  
TG: cause he and dirk are still...i dunno, flailing around at each other like a bunch of goofs  
GG: I know that, and I'm fine with it. As long as Jake never harasses me about his relationship woes before my birthday again I'm fine about it.  
TG: what?  
TG: jane you better not have raided your smokin' dad's whiskey cabinet!   
GG: Okay, first off- eww!  
TG: hey your old man has got it on *wonk wonk*  
GG: Don't wonk at me! Stop making those flirtatiousness remarks about my father! And I assure you I am not drunk, or under the influence.  
TG: lies and slander, janey. cant help it if you crockers are some choice bits of human flesh, sink my teeth right in  
GG: Hoo hoo! :B  
GG: But really I'm fine, Roxy.  
TG: how you figure? i mean...dont wanna come across as bitchy, but i wouldve jumped over to your place whenever to listen to ya woes.   
GG: Oh gosh, that wasn't what I was meaning, Roxy! It has nothing to do with you, and I never meant to indicate I thought you wouldn't have listened. :(  
GG: It's just...  
GG: Well, I just wanted some time on my own, just to figure out things for myself. And you've spent so long dealing with all of our fussing and screw-ups and I didn't want to try and burden you further with my issues, treating you like some kind of emotional packmule for all our feeling garbage.  
TG: awww  
TG: you know i don't mind if you yak to me about shit. otherwise im just stuck with those two dumbass boys lol  
GG: I do know...I just felt like I was burdening you. :(  
GG: But I want you to know I'm not going to try and stir up things with Jake and Dirk. It's their business and I won't try and butt in. As long as it doesn't turn into a 'relationship dump' every time I talk to them, however.   
TG: yeah that shit gets fucking old real quick.  
TG: but are you really sure youre all okay with this?  
TG: cause I don't want you bottling it all up and going apeshit later on down the line, janey.  
GG: I told you, I'm fine with it.  
TG: oh come on, how'd you come to that?   
TG: you decided to take a trip to lesbian isles? if so, imma pretty fucking tempted to drop anchor there as well lol  
GG: Oh, nothing like that! Though if I even decided to go there, you are welcome to come with. :B  
TG: haha, i'll hold you to that.  
GG: But...well, with Jake it was...this probably seems odd, but I was more in love with the idea of being in love with him? That sounds quite frankly ridiculous, and I'm aware of that now...But it always just seemed right to me; the Heiress, prim and proper, groomed for a life of luxury and privilege only to run off with the dashing, rugged gun-slinger hailing from an island of monsters.  
GG: Oh gosh, it sounds even stupider when I re-read it. :(  
TG: hey at least you figured out all that shit before going full stupid w it, so look on the bright side  
GG: I suppose...it still doesn't really help how passive-aggressive I've gotten with Dirk. It's hardly his fault he made a move first and I all but up-heaved when Jake spoke to me about it. Though I suppose that's a bright side, as you said. At least I didn't get involved with Jake, then after a few days say "Shucks, I've been really romanticising who you actually are! Why can't you act like the mental image I have of you? Conform darnit!" which would have been incredibly unfair and mean. :(  
TG: well shit...guess we're gonna be old maids together janey  
TG: lmao literally in your case  
TG: cause you're a legit maid  
TG: ba dum tish  
GG: Oh, don't be so pessimistic, Ro-Lal.  
GG: I'm sure you'll find one of the other players satisfactory!  
TG: lol what like your grandson? or dirks bro or jakes grandma or my mum?  
GG: Or how about Calliope? You're always talking to her. :B  
TG: whooooeee holy shit janey, first off i dont think her species it like that, what with her going on about that weird as shit hate stuff so i dont think she'd be down wid that  
TG: that and kinda meeting face to face would kinda help.  
GG: Well still, there's that option for you.  
TG: but what about you? can't leave the lil sweet-as-suga baker all on her lonesome  
GG: I'm fine, Ro-Lal.  
TG: dont you throw that at me! ol' mama roxy knows that young ladies want some under the covers rambunctious fun-times  
GG: Oh gosh, I don't think we need to go there.   
TG: ah ah ah! dont ya try to deny it; we are gorgeous young babes in our prime, and since life loves us the two local male lifeforms are sucking face wid each other.  
TG: so instead us devious ladies gotta find another way to get all our freak on, something i like ta call a date w rosie palms  
GG: NO ROXY, NO!  
GG: I do not have to partake in this!   
TG: oh come ooooonnnnn, lemme help you wid that, i totes had practice  
GG: Er no, I'm as sound as a dollar, Roxy! No need to go into...well, that place.  
TG: hey, aint no shame in having normal urges  
GG: I know that!  
GG: And if you wish to do such things, well go right ahead!  
GG: I don't really need a play by play, though.  
TG: so what then, youre asexual? cause thats totes fine if you are  
GG: Oh no, I still have an erm interest in those...exercises.  
TG: (lmao exercises)  
GG: But I don't think I'm....strictly heterosexual...by the normal definition anyway.  
TG: so your just tryin to figure all that shit out?   
GG: Well um actually I've been doing some research and I think I may...  
GG: Gosh, this is awkward. I'm feeling like a sinner in church. :(  
TG: hey unless youre now fuckin corpses on the side i wont give a shit, janey. lemme know when ya ready  
GG: Whew, well alright then.  
GG: I think I would identify between...  
GG: Err...  
GG: A pansexual and a xenophile?  
GG: More or less.  
TG: you a  
TG: gimme a sec  
TG: you have a crush on callie?  
GG: No.  
TG: then who the fuck is left cause i sure as shit know it aint caliborn  
TG: wait it aint him is it?  
GG: Ugh, no!  
TG: oh thank fuck  
TG: then who, cause im pretty sure it aint one of those sprites, no matter how adorbs fefeta is, so that kinda only leaves the clo  
TG: omg  
GG: Um.  
TG: OMFG  
TG: you got the hots for the weirdo clown omfg this is awesome  
GG: Well, it's not just like that...  
TG: fucking shit this is awesome! i mean hes always hovering around your place a fuckload more than any of ours and he's pretty much only spoken to you  
TG: apparently we are just 'honk' worthy lmao  
GG: Actually we've  
TG: holy shit you gotta woo dat clown, you baking him room and lure him inna your bed wid you mad skills  
TG: one of us sexy babes is gonna get laid this session, and it totes aint me right now, so you listen ta mama lalonde and she'll help you seduce that weirdo hoking clown and make him your extraterrestrial bf  
GG: Roxy!  
TG: what? did you think i was gonna give a rage or some shit? fuck no, us ladies gotta stick together  
TG: so maybe you like bake him a cake inna shape of horn or some shit and maybe use one of my dresses to show off them bootylicious curves of yours  
TG: cause i mean someone who wears an outfit w a fucking cod piece is obviously someone who appreciates ya threads lol  
GG: Ah, that won't be necessary, Roxy!  
TG: oh no no no!  
TG: you aint just gonna run of wid your tail between your legs just cause of all dat shit between jakey and his manbrain   
GG: That's not it at all!  
GG: I'm perfectly content in my current scenario.  
TG: im calling bullshit right now  
TG: if you spent like a fuckin fortnight just figuring out this shit and you're totes over jakey, then youre obviously real keen to get with that clown  
TG: imma like freely admit i dunno what you see in him, but hey everyone has their choices, amirite?   
TG: and cause im such a choice babe i'll totally help you woo this weird horned beast into your bed and that is a promise ill take to my metaphorical grave.  
TG: or quest bed lol  
GG: Roxy, that really isn't necessary...  
TG: oh come on!  
TG: dont let one bad experience fuck up all ya chances  
GG: ...I meant more along the lines I don't need any romance advice.  
TG: what, why? you already got the whole shindig planned?  
GG: Well...  
GG: More along the lines of planned, investigated, executed and over?  
GG: :B  
TG: you what  
TG: what the fuck!!   
TG: omfg you shouldve told me you made a move on clownie, wouldve camped up for that lol  
TG: or oh noes did he say nah or something?  
GG: No, no. Nothing like that!  
TG: gimme the whole run down before i march over there and kick your ass, missy  
GG: Well...it was after my who abscond after screaming at Jake, then at you and then screaming at Caliborn because he decided to jeer me and be a total jerk.  
TG: yeah hes such a lil fuck, ill punch him over if i ever see his ugly ass  
GG: Anyway, after that I just went home and started to cry and rage in general, like some hysterical broad.  
TG: oh noes, you didnt go all rebound?  
TG: that aint a good base for a relationship janey  
GG: I know that!  
GG: You're acting as if I ran home and flung myself at him, or something.  
GG: Which really isn't what happened.  
TG: then what? you went home and broke shit and then he did some clown majyyks  
GG: What are clown magics?  
TG: dunno  
TG: clown stuff i guess  
GG: :|  
GG: Well, he did not do any 'clown majyyks' as like you said.  
GG: Quite frankly, I do not want to know what clown majyyks are. Bad enough he keeps on trying to sell me things (though now he offers me free trials.) but he didn't fling special stardust at me or...other things clowns do.  
GG: No, instead he had baked me a pie. :B  
TG: omg cute  
TG: was it like a clown pie?   
GG: What is a clown pie?!  
GG: He didn't stick horns or unicycles or a circus tent in it, if that's what you're worried about.  
GG: I...couldn't really place the flavour, actually. That may have been because I was upset and crying and wasn't really paying attention, however.  
TG: aww janey   
GG: Well what did you think I was going to do?  
GG: I just had Jake's utterly insensitive complaining and then Caliborn was mocking me by telling me my father is dead and that I was just some useless fat girl.  
TG: wait what??  
TG: that fucking lil shit!  
TG: i'll punch his ugly little face in if i ever see him!  
TG: what a doucheface  
GG: That's why I was so upset and thus didn't notice what kind of magical pie it was.  
TG: shit my bad  
TG: yeah that guy is a lil fuck but it still doesnt explain how you suddenly got a heaping of clown booty  
GG: It didn't just go from 'eating pie' to 'rumbustious activities'!  
GG: So no, I didn't rebound or something ridiculous like that.  
TG: okay so you were upset cause of stupid males and was rage-eatin some pie  
GG: Pretty much.  
GG: But yes, I was rage-eating and Gamzee wandered over and sat down next to me while I was eating.  
GG: And I told him it was a pretty good pie and he kept on going on about nonsensical things. I still can't believe how often he can fit the word 'motherfucker' into his sentences.  
TG: does he even have a mum?  
TG: lol maybe its the batterwitch  
GG: Ew, gross! That would mean we're related!  
GG: But no, I asked him about that a few days ago and attempted to explain human pregnancies to him.  
GG: He was extremely horrified.  
GG: Though it certainly maxed out my gambit when I teased him later on I might be pregnant because I kissed him. :B  
GG: His face said it all. >:P  
TG: lmao you can be so mean   
GG: Well it was about time he got grossed out by humans!  
GG: Goodness knows he's grossed me out with some of his alien habits!  
GG: Though I don't know if its actually his species habits or just him in particular...  
TG: yeah i mean isn't he and the megaseahiter bitchfish the same species?  
TG: kinda glad hes not as fuckin nutty as her  
TG: tho she does like clowns lmao  
TG: maybe it runs in the genes janey  
TG: but for real, you kissed him?  
GG: Well...  
GG: Yes, I did. :B  
TG: fucking yeah, right on!  
TG: got your real first kiss!  
TG: (lol gettin a snog when dead doesn't count)  
TG: so...  
TG: how was it?  
TG: *wonk wonk*  
GG: Don't wonk at me!  
GG: A lady doesn't kiss and tell! ;)  
GG: But...  
TG: but what?? do you regret it?  
GG: No!  
GG: But that's the thing.  
GG: I really don't regret it. At all.  
GG: In fact...I feel really good about it. Like...I know this sounds silly and vapid-romance heroine-esque, but I really think it could work? Maybe I'm being overly attached but...I really hope something completely serious comes from it. Maybe even beyond Sburb? :(  
TG: shit janey dont feel bad about that!  
TG: lol if any of us could make it work w an alien i bet it would be you  
GG: You think so?  
TG: sure!  
TG: ill make you a bet.  
TG: i bet you that triple chocolate fudge secret brownie mix of yours that youll be loving that alien clown and still doing adorb pranking shit w in like ten years later  
GG: Shucks, really? :B  
TG: hells yeah.  
TG: when has mama ro-lal ever been wrong janey?  
TG: just you wait and see!  
TG: *wonk wonk*

* * *

 

"Jane? Jane, are you in here?"

Jane jolted out of her deep reminiscing at the soft, repeated calling, opening her eyes and glancing over at the door. A haggard-looking Rose was poking her head in, hair restrained by the simple gold headband.

"Oh, sorry," Jane said, shaking her head to banish her slight doze and shifting from where she was sitting cross-legged on her living room floor in the main Crocker Corp underground headquarters. She was clad in dark brown trousers and a beige shirt inscribed with the green Life symbol, her purple necklace ever-present and resting against her sternum. Jane patted the space next to her on the carpeted floor as she straightened her glasses with the other hand, "Do you want to come in? Please feel free to join me."

"Yes, thank you," Rose quickly entered the room, snapping the door shut behind her. The Seer sat down next to her, at an angle so she was partially facing Jane. Rose brushed out the thick skirts of her dress as she got settled, resting a hand on the floor for balance.

"I apologise if I'm disturbing you," Rose said, her other hand on her knee and toying with the heavy fabric, "I just...I just wanted to speak with you."

"It's okay. I was supposed to be meditating, trying to center myself," Jane gestured to the small shelf in front of her where a statue of Buddha was resting on, surrounded by a few burnt-out sticks of incense, "But I just wound up thinking about the past and everything that happened...Not really a good combination for any kind of inner peace, I suppose. Not with our kind of history."

"Peace of any kind is hard to find these days." Rose murmured, looking drawn. Her hand clenched at the fabric at her knees and she looked conflicted, as if unable to find a place to start.

Jane remained silent, gazing at the small golden statue as she waited patiently for Rose to say her piece. The Maid began to carefully even her breathing out, concentrating on calm, deep inhales from her mouth and exhales through her nose. Slowly some of the nostalgia and loneliness eased from her mind and her stomach muscles unclenched from the knot they'd wound themselves into.

"Do you think _they_ are alive?"

Jane blinked, caught off guard by Rose's blunt, blurted inquiry. The question was an obvious one, but it was just something that wasn't ever said out loud so it just hung over them like an ominous cloud. It was almost like that question was jinxed.

The Maid looked over at Rose; the Seer's front teeth were biting into her lower lip and her nails had been bitten down to the quick. Deep circles lay underneath her eyes and she could see the skin of her knuckles was stretched taut. Rose looked about as lousy as Jane now felt. Jane leaned forward, resting her hands against her knees and exhaling heavily. For a brief second she felt the prickle of tears in her eyes before she shoved them back. They certainly wouldn't help and it wasn't what Rose needed right now.

"I don't know, Rose." Jane sighed, "Sometimes I think that's the worst thing to dwell upon and sometimes I think it's the best. I just get...distraught if I linger upon it too much."

Rose's frown deepened, creases appearing in her forehead, "I can understand that. From what Ka...Kanaya told me Alternia society was incredibly unkind to any troll. Even the so-called highbloods lived in a troll-eat-troll world. From what she told me many of her companions were mass-murderers by the time they were thirteen. And none that remained were God Tier, barring Aradia and she was an apparent 'lowblood'. There is an immense likelihood all of the trolls we all met are dead...it's not a pleasant thing to dwell on. Still, I just can't stop thinking about it."

Jane was silent for some time before she ran a hand through her shoulder-length hair and replied, "I wouldn't know, Rose. He never spoke to me about Alternia- at least not about the murderous parts. He mainly told me about where he lived by the ocean, his friends, and his goatdad. I always thought he was speaking metaphorically about his goatdad until John told me about that girl-troll's giant spider guardian a few years ago."

"Ha, that certainly seems like Gamzee...He was always odd. We scarcely saw him, much less spoke with him." Rose said, "Kanaya did not like him at all- she spoke of how she would harm him if she could. However after seeing what he did to Terezi I am grateful she never managed to confront him. I doubt she could survive dying again."

Jane barely blinked, "Well, I never saw that part of him. But then, I was just as crazy and homicidal as he apparently was at that point."

"It seems clowns are a bit of an acquired taste."

"Hoo hoo, so he's like Dave then."

Rose laughed, "Don't let him hear you. He may have to fight you to defend his honour."

"If Dave wants to fist-fight me again and lose he's more than welcome to it," Jane snorted, "Though I doubt he's willing to risk his nose again like last time. Though I dare say Mama Lalonde would enjoy another rerun."

"It seems my mother still enjoys her fisticuffs." Rose smiled faintly, though her face was still tense and upset.

"Rose," Jane said, voice gentle as she reached out and took a hold of Rose's hand, "Dwelling upon it only worsens our distress. We have no way of knowing and brooding on a subject we have no control or influence over only serves to make us feel even more miserable and helpless. Perhaps once we manage to solidify our stance and defenses and Roxy manages to crack into the troll's main communications and we have a breather between attacks we can see if we can search for our long-lost friends. Until then, we just have to _endure_. For the sake of ourselves and our friends."

The Seer held onto Jane's hand with a violent grip, her nails digging into skin. Jane bore it without complaint and resting her other hand on Rose's shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"I don't know what to do," Rose whispered, head bent down, "I can't See anything with this, no hints, no help, no paths. Even now all I can See applies to _all_ of humanity; I can't See what happens with us. I feel so conflicted...Not just with all this, but...but also with Jade."

Ah. Jane shuffled closer and wrapped her arm around Rose's back, tugging at her hand and pulling the Seer into a hug, saying, "It's fine to be confused and conflicted over this. But do you not care about Jade anymore?"

"No, but I don't know what to do. I've been with Jade for years, but now I feel torn and guilty, as if I'm intentionally leading her on. As if I _always_ have been and I feel just horrible and guilty. I'm sometimes just so nervous and eager to find out if _she_ is alive and then I feel disgusting, as if I'm cheating on Jade for even thinking it."

"I can't advise you to end your relationship, Rose," Jane said gently, "However it's obviously bothering you a great deal, so all I can say is you need to speak to Jade about this. As soon as you can. Don't let it fester or brood on it. Just talk to her and explain how you feel and what the two of you can do about it. I am sure Jade will be understanding and compassionate."

"I know she will be," Rose muttered, voice muffled in Jane's shoulder, "She's so wonderful and I don't deserve her."

"Well, it's clearly bothering you a lot and it's infringing on your mental well being. The sooner you discuss this with Jade and get it out in the open, the better for both of you."

Rose pulled away, her face splotched with some tears, but it looked as if a great deal of tension had left her and she managed to give Jane a small smile, "Thank you. I know I shouldn't spend my free time moaning to you about romance problems, but I thought you would be the most understanding of my current situation."

Jane shooshed her gently, running a hand over Rose's pale hair a few times and tucking an wayward strand behind the Seer's ear, "I'm your friend, your family. You can speak to me about anything anytime. And regardless," Here Jane's eyes began to twinkle, "I was just sitting in here reminiscing about the good old days like some nostalgic old betty."

The Maid got to her feet, offering a hand to Rose, which she accepted. With a firm pull she tugged the Seer to her feet. Releasing her Jane rolled her shoulders and stretched, feeling her cramped muscles protest slightly as she arched her back. She then straightened her askew glasses, giving Rose a buck-toothed smile.

"I've been meaning to go help with some resistance forces out in the field anyway; I've heard tell many groups are in dire need of doctors and medics, particularly for those who are trying to flee battle grounds seeking shelter and I'm just the woman for the job. Besides, me actively helping others in actual battle helps with morale and goodness knows we always need more of that," Jane said as she walked across her living room to her coat rack, taking off one of her heavy, white doctor's coats.

"Do you wish for me to come and help you?" Rose asked.

"No, but thank you for the offer. I'm only going to be aiding those attempting to get back to home base so I won't be in any massive skirmishes and if I do I'll call for aid. I'll feel better knowing you're here making sure everyone is behaved and in case anything manages to infiltrate our base you need to be here coordinating everyone."

Rose smile, "Always thinking about everyone. You are certainly everything we need in a leader right now."

Jane scoffed not unkindly, an amused smile on her lips as she put on the coat, "Don't let John hear you say that! Otherwise we might need to have another strife about it."

"John is good for friendly and light-hearted leadership- he's an excellent co-leader for you. You are both warm and inviting yet you have a great deal of ruthless steel underneath it all. In issues of world leadership, he typically defers to you. You are Jane Crocker of Crocker Corp and everyone knows who you are and you managed to gain most of the world's love and respect during your long reign after the Game."

"Goodness, you're making me blush, Rose," Jane said, glancing back at Rose, warmth consolidating in her gut from the woman's words, "If I recall it was your advice and input that we've got so many of our anti-alien-invasion plans enacted."

"True, but I only advised. You did have help but you don't take enough credit for your own actions or on-going rule."

As Jane buttoned up her coat she made sure her heavy-duty War spork-and-fork was lying in wait within her Strife deck, feeling her ears burning. Even after all these years Rose knew exactly what to say. "Perhaps. But either way, pats on the backs don't exactly help nowadays. Maybe when this is all over and we retire to the Harley's paradise island we can write memoirs about it."

"Hmm, I don't mind that course of action. Lounging on sandy beaches, drinking martinis and having drunken raves...A nice way to end it all," Rose remarked, moving up to Jane's side as they left Jane's rooms, the door swishing shut with a soft hum.

"I'll hold you to that," Jane said as she locked the door behind them with a few presses of a button, "But for now we are goddesses of war."

A sinister smile crept over Rose's face, a cold gleam appearing in her lavender eyes, "Indeed we are, and we shall be for as long as those invaders lurk out there. They aren't invincible time-traveling demons of a double death, so I have a good feeling about this. Not a Light feeling, more of a...gut feeling. While I'm not a betting woman, if I was I wouldn't bet against us."

Jane couldn't help but laugh at that, "Good, else I would have to tell your mother you are gambling on the wrong team."

"Well, be sure to come back from your stint in the field and tell me all about it," Rose's voice lost its mischievous edge and she gently touched Jane on the arm, gazing at her with a soft expression, "Please be careful out there, Jane. I know I always say that whenever anyone of us go out to fight, but I can never See how they'll end up so just humour a paranoid Seer for a moment. And...thank you for the brief talk, I'll make sure to deal with it as soon as I can."

On impulse Jane hugged Rose, picking up the smaller woman in a warm, tight embrace which the Seer immediately returned, "That's what I'm here for Rose- baking, healing and prep talks. You take care of everyone while I out, alright? Make sure they don't make daft decisions and burn the base down."

"Of course."

Jane carefully released Rose, settling her back down on her feet. She straightened the Seer's askew collar while feeling immense compassion for her dear friend, someone who was likewise anguished over the prospect of their lost alien loves and whether of not they are alive or dead. As selfish as it was, Jane was glad someone else also knew what it was like. Stepping back, Jane smiled, already feeling jitters from the prospect of her up-and-coming foray into one of the many war zones most of the surface of Earth had turned into.

"Alright, I'll leave you to muster the herd while I go kick some ass. Make sure you leave some of the world leaders for me, buster."

"Don't worry, I'm always gentle with that bunch," Rose said wryly, "Take care and save as many as you can."

"Always."

With those final words the two women parted ways, Jane leaving without preamble for her foray into the battle grounds, while Rose left for the leaders station.

It took her nearly fifteen minutes to reach one of the main communication relays and teleportation stations in the Crocker Corp HQ. There were dozens of these facilities littering the HQ alone with thousands scattered world-wide. Most people within the room were focused on their respective tasks, be it intercepting transmissions, sending out soldiers and aid, or offering rendezvous coordinates to troops out in the war zones. Lively chatter, shouts and arguments created an active atmosphere as people darted to and fro. Bursts of blue light occasionally lit up the room as people teleported in and out.

As Jane crossed the room to the main communication relay she was given several, hurried greetings, mostly from medical personnel, to which she responded with a smile and a nod but for the most part she was unhindered as she made a beeline for the center of the room. A short, thin man wearing an army uniform that had seen better days was currently operating the giant central computer. He glanced up at her approach, his expression shifting from exhaustion to recognition and relief.

"Ah, Miss Crocker! This is unexpected- do you require anything?" He gave her a salute; he had an odd, lingering accent to his speak, making him almost drawl his words.

"Yes, I am here to offer my assistance, most for medical situations and helping with the injured out in the field. Are there any close situations I can offer my aid to?"

The man, to his credit, looked only momentarily confused before he turned to the computer. Using his hands he quickly scrolled down the holographic display, until pausing at a small encrypted message. With a few presses of a button the message shifted and a broad map jumped up on screen with several blinking dots glowing on it.

"Well, we've just received an SOS from one of the smaller towns just outside of a drop-zone," he said, jabbing a finger through the translucent map, "However it will be at least thirty minutes before we can round up medical personnel and equipment as well as some soldiers. This is mainly due to the fact Miss Harley has been directing most of our attacks towards the center of the cities since the aliens have begun trying to hack through Burrow securities and bolt-holes. We've had a high casualty and injury rate the past few weeks and the strain is showing. It may sound harsh, but those who sent the message will need to endure for at least another hour before they receive help."

Jane nodded, studying the map with narrowed eyes, "I can aid with this SOS on my own and am able to leave immediately."

"Ma'am-"

Jane cut him off with brisk wave of a hand, "No, I am fully capable of aiding these survivors and helping them back here, especially if you are low on medical personnel. It is not too far from here either, so I would not be in harms way for long."

The man wanted to argue; Jane could see it in the tension in his stance, the furrow upon his brow. However he didn't voice his disapproval; instead he flicked a few buttons on the monitor, expression terse.

"There you go, Ma'am. Teleporter D23-19 has been activated with the coordinates to where the last location the SOS was emitted from. While the location isn't a hotzone, I would still recommend extreme caution."

She gave the man a comforting smile, "It's quite all right. Have no fear, if things to get a little too bamboozling out there I will call for aid."

"Ma'am."

"As you were," she said quietly, giving the man a salute to which he automatically returned. With that Jane turned on her heel and marched towards the teleporter he had activated for her, head held high and strides strong. The pad was pulsing slightly as she approached and the Maid halted a few paces from the lip of the machine, studying it with a cautious eye.

She quickly checked her strife deck again, just making double sure she was armed and ready for any fights that could arise. She was well-rested and as strong as she had ever been. Now was the time to go aid those in the most dire of need, to show that despite being the head of Crocker Corp she was just as involved in the physical fights in this war as the common man, she was a Maid of Life and more than capable of killing any marauding aliens while saving lives. Determined and fists clenched, Jane moved forward.

Three steps saw her standing in the middle of the teleporter pad. With a low hum and the familiar feel of weightlessness, Jane was teleported away in a shower of blue swirls and sparks.


	6. Reunion

The teleporter deposited Jane in a massive, badly damaged shipping station. The pad had been placed in a large area that had originally been used to move machinery but had been jury rigged for human signatures a few months after the beginning of the war.

The faint blur of blue sparks briefly illuminated the broken station as she appeared on the glowing teleporter before going back to its original dank gloominess. Jane briefly paused to look around the area before she took off at a jog, weaving her way through the building and easily avoiding the crumbling walls and cracked stairs. She had to tear her way out through the main entrance however, which had the remains of a massive lorry wedged halfway through the double doors. Jane felt a pang of sorrow when she saw the broken, skeletal remains of the driver which was halfway through the shattered windscreen. She would've liked to bury whoever it was but she had no time to spare on laments for the dead so instead she just murmured a quiet apology as she climbed over the bonnet of the truck and out onto the parking lot.

Jane consulted her Crocker Corp watch, studying the small holographic map that popped up at her prompt; it was only a few blocks to the location of the SOS and she could make it there in just a few minutes. Switching off her watch Jane started to jog towards to where the apparent refuge camp was located.

As she made her way through the small town Jane felt a wave of melancholy as she saw the damage done to the town. Shops and homes had been smashed, glass and shattered wood littered the sidewalk and cars had been guttered and burnt in the streets. Dozens of trees had been planted along the sidewalks; now they were blackened trunks. Thick, rustic stains of blood were _everywhere_ ; on walls, stop lights, cracked doorways and fire-hydrants. In the near-dawn lighting it looked like copper paint splatters.

Shaking off her sadness, Jane made a beeline for the make-shift camp which was apparently located in the abandoned farmers market just down the road. It wasn't long before her watch alerted her when she was within range of the camp, finding the entrance of the market bottle-necked between two decrepit welcome kiosks. A welcome sign was lying broken next to one of the kiosks with what looked like the jagged lines of Alternian text scribbled across it in human blood. Massive slabs of concrete and shards of roofing tile were littered around the small buildings, looking as if a missiles struck and damaged most of the upper infrastructure, leaving gaping holes and cracks.

Jane was just climbing over the burnt-out husk of a Volkswagen to get to the courtyard in front of the kiosks when several humans jumped out from the wreckage surrounding the welcome buildings, clothed in camouflage uniforms in various states of wear and wielding a variety of weapons.

"Halt!" The woman closest to her barked, machine gun at the ready, "You are in a live war zone! What is your purpose here?"

Jane raised her empty hands in placation, making sure to keep her body language open and at ease, "It's alright. I'm Jane, Jane Crocker. I'm here to assist you."

For a few seconds Jane thought the blonde woman wouldn't believe her, or worse, shoot the Maid, then recognition crossed her features. She lowered her gun, an expression of surprise and relief settling on her dirt-smudged face, "Oh, my apologies Ma'am. I should have recognized you right away- God knows I saw enough interviews and news reports with you before the war. Weapons down, soldiers. We heard we were getting support yet we did not think it would be from someone as high rank as you. But I'm glad you're here; we have wounded who will be very happy to see you."

"It's alright- I decided to take this mission at the last moment, it's no wonder you're a little bamboozled by my appearance," Jane smiled, lowering her hands, "The request was vague, however. All I know is that you have quite a few injured with you and you needed to get back to a secure base as soon as possible. Are you the one currently in charge?"

"Lieutenant Sophie Addams, Ma'am," She said, giving Jane a brisk salute, "I was accompanying my Major but he was KIA so I had to take command. We managed to find a dozen resistance members who needed extreme medical aid that the guerrilla bases simply couldn't provide so we were escorting them back to one of the Crocker HQ's when we were attacked by one of those finned aliens. It was during this fight a quarter of our soldiers got killed, including the Major, before we managed to put the beast down. The damage just one of those _things_ can do...But regardless, I was forced to take command and I sent out an SOS as soon as we found a reasonable safe area."

Jane grimaced, "That's unfortunate. But as you said, we're still in a hotzone; as soon as I can heal the most badly wounded we will need to leave before more trolls show up and cause a ruckus."

The Lieutenant nodded, looking relieved and beckoning Jane forth, "Please follow me, Ma'am. Williams, Smith and Ryans, keep on the rear and stay on alert; I don't want those aliens sneaking up on us."

\----

Jane was led into the small stronghold as the Lieutenant told her the situation, leading her across the cracked and broken market square and to the lopsided door of a shop where several injured people were resting on haphazard beds. A few were moving or tending to weapons but most were barely conscious. The air stank of sweat and blood and the only illumination was a few dozen candles scattered around the small room.

"Most of those injured are civilians and we've tried to aid them as best we could but my remaining soldiers only know basic first aid; our medic was killed a few days ago in a fire," the Lieutenant explained as she walked towards the closest bed. Addams ran a hand through her short blonde hair, looking stressed, "Mostly we've just stitched up cuts, cleaned out any wounds and bound any broken bones as best as we were able. But as you see many of the injuries require professional aid that we just cannot provide ourselves."

"Don't worry, I'm a fully qualified doctor. How many soldiers do you have here?"

"Only eight, including myself. None of the resistant members came with us-only the heavily injured. The rest stayed behind to continue fighting. It was like pulling teeth even getting this lot to come with us. Can't say I blame them; this is their town and I know I had to be forcibly dragged out when my platoon was told to retreat."

"I see...have you seen any trolls in this area?"

"None except for the weird fish one and that was over a day ago. We haven't seen any others but I would like us to be able to leave ASAP since all of us are exhausted, most are wounded and we're low on supplies; everything from food and ammo to bandages and toothpaste." 

"Hmm... I'll see if I can get everyone healed before sunrise- it would be dawn then and the trolls can't see as well in that light. Then we should be able to make our way back to the base without any fighting."

Jane halted in front of the nearest patient; he was young, most likely no older than eighteen. Jane knelt down next to him, her doctors coat bunching up around her. Carefully she placed her palms on the unconscious man's chest; her hands glowed blue as she began to heal his cracked ribs. She was vaguely aware of the Lieutenant walking past her and begin speaking to another one of the patients, yet Jane paid them no heed. Slowly she healed the worst of his injuries, including a thin bone splinter that was nearly lodged in his liver. He woke up just as she finished fixing the long gash on his scalp and Jane gave the confused man a few comforting words and a smile before she rose and went to the next patient.

This man had a broken tibia, cracked sternum and was missing three of his left fingers. Jane healed him, sending the blue life energy into his body and sealing the cracks, fixing the bones and regrowing the severed fingers in the span of ten minutes.

Without pause she stood and walked over to the next patient, healing the woman of her cracked skull and broken leg. And then the Maid moved onto the next.

She worked with a break or hesitation, healing each patient of the worst of their injuries. In all it took Jane the better part of half-an-hour to heal them all; by then, the sun was beginning to paint the sky the colour of fire as it started to rise and Jane knew they would have to move soon or risk being caught by the trolls.

"Do you have a way to get out of here asides from the front entrance?" Jane abruptly asked, not looking up from where she was healing a shattered ankle.

The Lieutenant blinked from where she was sorting through a pile of bandages but otherwise didn't hesitate at answering her, "Yes, there's a small exit in the abandoned produce shop that leads out past the mail shop a block down. It's narrow, though; you can maybe get through two at a time. I was going to take that route just to be on the safe side however, since it's not as open as the front entrance and it's only a small detour to the shipping station."

Jane finished stitching all the shards of bone back together, smiling as the old man thanked her as she rose from her crouch. The Maid grimaced and stretched her back, her cramped muscles protesting. She felt a little bit light-headed and peckish, but she wasn't completely exhausted from all her extensive healing. 

"Are any of your soldiers injured?" Jane asked, turning towards Addams, "I've fixed the worst of the damage on everyone here but we need to move, as soon as possible would be best. I don't want any of your soldiers slowing us down."

The blonde woman nodded, "One of my soldiers, Mackenzie, has an ankle that's been causing him some issues. I think he twisted it when he jumped from a building. He hasn't made a fuss about it, but I've seen him limping slightly so I would be grateful if you could check him over." 

"Alright, bring him here and get these folks up on their feet. We need to get moving."

"Yes Ma'am. Smith, you heard the woman; rouse these folks. I want you to be ready to move in five. We're taking you to HQ."

A few grumbles came from the patients but Jane was pleased that they were all conscious and moving as she rose to her feet. She rubbed her blood-stained hands on her brown trousers, grimacing due to the gritty, sticky texture, before she followed the Lieutenant out of the broken door. 

As Addams summoned the injured soldier Jane glanced around the abandoned market. Cracks fissured the pale stone and several of the shops around the square were broken beyond repair. In the middle of the market was a raised circle of concrete with the blackened husk of a maple tree jutting out of it, bony branches reaching towards the dawn-dusted sky. Numerous burnt pieces of wood were scattered around the square and in a far-off corner there was piles of what Jane was fairly sure were dried-up skeletons. The remains of flower beds, scattered around the square, were now brown and dead. Jane frowned, unhappy and mildly depressed.

 _This should've been a happy place,_ Jane mused sadly, _A place to come on the weekends, to spend with friends and family. Now it's just some broken ruin._

"Ma'am?" The concerned voice of the Lieutenant jerked Jane out of her brooding.

"Oh, sorry," The Maid said sheepishly as she turned towards the soldiers, "I was just...anyway, you are the soldier with the ankle? Mackenzie?"

The man who was standing at attention next to the Lieutenant was thin and wiry. He offered Jane a brisk salute before saying, "Yes Ma'am. It wasn't impending my movement, but the Lieutenant ordered..."

"Alright, hop up here," Jane gestured towards the raised circle with the center-piece dead tree, "I'll fix your ankle up and we'll be on our way."

The soldier got up without a fuss and Jane quickly healed his ankle- it was just shy of a break and all of his walking had just exaggerated the swelling and caused deep bruising. Still it was well within her abilities to heal him, the glow from her hands easily fixing the issues within the joint.

"And...there, all done!" Jane stepped back with a smile.

Mackenzie slid off the rise and hopped from foot to foot, looking surprised as he tested his weight on his previously injured ankle, "Wow, thank you. It feels completely fine! I always saw you on television with the whole Miracle Doctor thing before the war but I never really thought it was..."

"Be grateful, Mackenzie!" The Lieutenant abruptly barked, causing him to jump, "Calling her a liar isn't gratitude!"

The man blushed violently under his superior's vicious glare and quickly stammered out an apology to Jane, his face florid red.

Jane just waved a hand in dismissal, amused, "It's alright. Looks like everyone is ready to go?" Jane directed that last part towards the Lieutenant, tilting her head in the direction of the people slowly emerging from the broken door way of the make-shift medical bay. The group were bloodied, tattered and looked like they really needed a hot meal and bath but they were moving and ready to go. Good, it was nearly past sunrise and Jane really didn't want a fight with a pack of hungry trolls. 

Addams stopped glaring at her soldier and brightened considerably, "Excellent! I see everyone is ready to leave. Good, I want you to get in a close formation and we'll begin to make our way to the HQ," The blonde woman walked towards the group, issuing orders, "Ryans, Williams, Smith I want you to guard the rear of the group; Mackenzie and myself with be at the front. Strawbridge, Kane and Beauregard, you guard the side. I don't want us to get ambushed halfway to the rendezvous point again-"

She broke off as a low, ominous _honk_ rang through the air.

Instantly everyone froze, matching expressions of panic on their face. Jane barely flinched, quickly equipping her tall spatula-and-spoon staff from her Strife deck as she glanced around wildly, her fear-filled expression mirrored on everyone as they anxious gripped their weapons. Jane was reasonably sure the honk had come from the entrance of the market, though she had no idea if it was a lone Subjugglator or an entire pack of them. Jane felt nauseous and cold as she tightened her grip the long, earth-hued staff. With a twist of her hands the spoon transformed into a spork, the edges razor sharp, while the spatula shifted into a vicious, four-pronged fork. 

"Get out of here," Jane snapped, eyes never leaving the entrance of the market, "Take the wounded and get back to base through the back door to the mail shop and go to the shipping station. I'll hold off the Subjugglators and give you enough time to escape."

"But Ma'am-"

Jane twisted her head around and glared at the Lieutenant, "Do as I say, damnit! Get them out of here. I can take care of myself- but I can't if I have you worry about all of you while I do so!"

For a few seconds Jane thought the blonde woman would protest; then Addams face hardened and she issued Jane a short nod before she started to quickly round up everyone, speaking in low stern tones. Quickly all the people began to move, hurrying across the courtyard to the burnt produce shop, everyone filing through quickly as the Lieutenant and her soldiers shepherded them inside. Jane glanced back at the group, seeing the blonde woman lingering behind with a conflicted expression her face before Addams gave her a brisk salute and vanished after her ragtag group of soldiers and civilians. 

Slowly the scuffling of feet and rattle of equipment got fainter and fainter before an eerie silence.

Jane was now alone.

It was a mixed blessing; as she said before, Jane could now fight without constantly worrying about anyone else getting underfoot. With her family she knew and trusted them well enough to easily react and aid them almost instinctively; With strangers she was completely in the dark and she fussed unnecessarily over them. But now she was alone and Jane was fairly confident she could fend off any hostile trolls long enough for the ragtag group to reach safety.

However this meant she was also going to fight a Subjugglator. Alone. The Maid tightened her grip on her staff, feeling lightheaded and slightly nauseous. Regardless of her feelings about the clowns she had to stall the Subjugglator; though she'd healed everyone of their most serious injuries she knew they would take a few minutes to reach the safe zone. Minutes she was have to make for them. Jane was fit and healthy and a God Tier to boot. Briefly she thought of radioing for help, but just as quickly dismissed the idea; all she had to do was stall the trolls and she wouldn't invite others to harm through her own paranoia or incompetence.

Jane flinched as another low _honk_ sounded through the air. A low tremor shook the ground, as if a massive weight had been dropped, followed by a few ominous scraping noises. Curious, Jane eased her senses forward, probing out with her Life abilities. She could feel the slowly fading pulses from the refugees and another pulse, just outside the market and moving erratically. It was something...big.

Then the entire side of the left welcome kiosk at the entrance of the market exploded outwards; Jane flinched as rubble and concrete shards struck the ground and then an utterly gigantic troll came storming out of the resulting dust cloud.

Jane stared in shock; the troll was at least twice of the size of any other troll she'd ever seen, with massive wavy horns jutting from a wild mane of tangled hair, making the monster nearly fourteen feet tall. Thick muscles slid under pitch-black skin as the troll stepped over the rubble, seemingly uncaring of the sharp bits of broken rock stabbing at its bare feet. As it pivoted in place Jane could see an odd curling N-like symbol emblazoned on the troll's ragged shirt. The deep grey pants the troll was wearing were torn and tattered with ample heaps of dirt, blood and grime splattered along upon it. Sketchy polka dots were scattered across the grey fabric, like jagged splotches of grape. Most of the dots were covered by multi-hued blood.

In one clawed hand it held a giant purple club nearly the same height as her, with foot-long spikes sprouting along the surface. Jane's lip twitched at the amount of crimson splatters on the club- there were matching stains around the troll's hands and mouth, along with every shade of the rainbow.

The troll let out another low _honk_ and shook its head before taking a few steps forward into the open until it was standing in the middle of the entrance to the market. It lifted its head and sniffed lowly, deep thick huffs; the jagged skull-like face paint seemed almost luminescence in the faint predawn lighting. Suddenly its head snapped around, searching, and the giant troll was staring right at her.

Jane tensed, feeling the creature's glare burning into her, the crimson of its sclera's making the creature look almost demonic in the dark light. Slowly the troll pivoted so it was facing her fully, black lips peeled back to showcase a maw of viciously long teeth. A low growl emanated from the troll, a deep, savage rumble which she could easily hear nearly sixty feet away and Jane had to struggle against the instinctive urge to flee from the nightmarish beast.

Jane barely had time to brace herself before the massive troll suddenly bounded across the yard separating them with a ear-splitting roar, moving much faster than the beast's vast size would've suggested. Jane barely had time to hurl herself to the side before the blood splattered club went crashing into the ground she'd just been standing on, creating a deep crater as it struck the stone so hard it caused the ground to quake.

Hopping backwards, Jane twirled her staff and stabbed at the troll's midriff with the fork end. The massive Subjugglator snarled and twisted, batting aside her fork with a careless movement and slashing out at her with the long claws of its spare hand. 

She parried, slapping aside the sharp nails with the spork of her staff and raking the sharp tines of the fork along the troll's upper arm, opening four thin slices that bled purple in its dark skin.

A second later she was forced to leap backwards, nearly tripping over some rubble, as the troll again struck at her with its blood-splattered club. The massive weapon swung so close the nearest spikes tore through her doctors jacket and into her side, drawing blood.

Ignoring the already-healing wounds Jane jumped left, nimbly hopping onto the concrete knoll with the dead tree. Growling, the troll twisted and snapped at her with a mouthful of vicious teeth as she was near face-height with the monster. Jane dodged and retaliated via slapping the side of her spork into the monster's face with a satisfying _smack_. 

The troll jerked to the side with a surprised honk before reaching for her, half-standing on the plinth with a clawed foot as it did so. Jane immediately jumped off and darted to the side, struggling to stay out of arms reach of the giant Subjugglator. 

Jane ran around the concrete knoll and jumped over the burnt remains of a stall. She half-expected the troll to still be on the rise but instead it was right behind her, almost on top of her, a vicious snarl fixed on its face. Jane skidded to a halt and pivoted; the troll barely paused before swinging its giant club the instant she faltered. Jane immediately threw herself forward and went tumbling down between the troll's legs, half-rolling as the club went smashing into the front of a dilapidated store, sending wood and glass flying in all directions.

Instinctively she flinched as some debris struck her as she came out of her roll but didn't hesitate in attempting to ram the sharp fork tines into the troll's exposed back, aiming for the spine. 

Instead the four long prongs sank into the troll's waist-length wild mess of hair, the dense follicles easily absorbing the impact and stopping her weapon before it could even reach the skin of its back. Cursing at her foolishness, Jane attempted to wrench her weapon back only for the troll to spin around, attempting to seize her. Jane yelped as she was yanked clean off her feet with the troll's sudden momentum, clinging to her staff with both hands as the troll pivoted, snapping at her with long teeth and snarling. 

Jane was dragged around with the troll's wild twisting, struggling to get her footing and still attempting to dislodge her weapon from its hair. The troll managed to give her a hard, backwards kick, the heel of its foot getting her squarely in the knee. She gave a stifled yelp as the blow nearly dislodged her kneecap, sending a shock of pain down her leg, and with a harsh yank she started to tear her staff free from the troll's mane.

The troll let out an angry honk as she braced her feet and managed to rip out the long tines, along with a some chucks of the troll's rough hair, before she hit the ground with a bone-jarring thud. Swiftly she rolled back up to her feet, spitting out a mouthful of blood as she did so.

Jane barely had time to glance to her left before the giant club suddenly struck her at an angle, smacking her right off her feet and straight through the second-story window of one of the abandoned shops. With a splintering crash she struck the far wall in an explosion of dust and wooden boards, landing in a crumpled heap.

Groaning Jane struggled to move; instinctively she started to heal herself, the blue glow seeping through her skin and knitting her shattered sternum and broken ribs back together. Adrenaline pumped through her body and Jane had scant seconds to finish healing her bones and managed to fix her cracked pelvis before the store shook slightly.

She could hear the scrabbling of claws then a massive pair of twisted horns appeared in the hole her body had made in the window. Jane didn't wait for the troll to heave itself up onto the second floor-as soon as she saw the creature's skull-like face she was spiriting across the room, snatching up her staff, and crashed straight into the Subjugglator, ramming the spork-end of her staff into the beast's throat and slamming her feet into its chest, sending both of them topping backwards. 

With a _crash_ that jarred her teeth they slammed into the ground, the troll's massive body creating a giant dent in the tiles, both of their weapons flying in opposite directions. For a few seconds the two lay dazed, Jane slumped over the troll's chest, blood dribbling from her nose and her still-cracked ribs throbbing angrily. Then she shot upright and flung herself off the troll just as it twisted its head up and snapped at her with vicious teeth, aiming for her face.

Jane scrambled for her staff, which had gone flying in the impact, and she managed to grab it in her left hand before the troll seized a hold of her. She barely had time to yelp before the massive hand wrapped around her throat and it smashed her into the rise in the center of the market, causing a vicious dent in the tiles and nearly cracking open Jane's skull.

The Maid managed to slam the sharp tines of the fork into the wrist of the hand the troll was about to ram through her head. With a meaty _snick_ the tines punctured right through the beast's wrist; the sheer force that Jane thrust down the tines caused them to sink deep onto the cracked ground and pinned the troll's hand. Snarling, the troll tightened its grip on her throat with its other hand, closing off her air with a strength that was just shy of snapping her windpipe. Jane choked and twisted her grip on the staff, causing the troll to growl as the tines sank deeper into its wrist, sending purple blood spitting down its hand.

Struggling to drag in breath, Jane twisted in the troll's grip, kicking out her legs ineffectively and giving a low grunt as the troll's fingers tightened around her neck. She glared at the troll behind cracked glasses, causing it to give her a demented grin in response.

Black spots started to blur her version and her lungs were starting to cry for air when the sun finally peeked out from behind the buildings of the market, sending bright rays of the morning light flooding the square. 

The troll made the mistake of looking up as the warm sunlight landed upon it and subsequently looked directly into the sun, causing its pupils shrank to the size of pin-heads within the purple irises. Its grip slackened around Jane's throat and she gratefully sucked in a gulp of air even as the troll snarled and twisted its head to the side, thick hair shielding its face with its eyes instinctively squeezed shut.

Ignoring the pain and dizziness rolling through her Jane abandoned her staff and grabbed the hand pressing against her throat as the troll's massive paw tightened around her neck again. With a grunt she seized its thumb in both hands, attempting to pry them from her neck. A vicious twist and a sharp _snap_ she broke its thumb with a twist of her hands. The troll jerked back while letting out a horrid snarl and twisted its head around to glare down at her, expression murderous, eyes still half shut.

As it turned, the dawn sunlight highlighted three long, diagonal scars marring the troll's face, pale grey underneath the skull-like face paint.

Jane froze; her fingers stilled on the troll's hand and her breath locked up in her lungs as the Subjugglator glared down at her, the scars still highlighted upon its face.

That hair, those horns, _those scars..._

Tears of shock, disbelief and blind hope began to blur her vision and Jane struggled to speak through the tightening grip around her throat, her fingers going numb with shock.

The troll shifted back, like a snake about to strike. Scant seconds before the troll was about to sink long teeth into her skull Jane managed to wheeze out,

_"Gamzee?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jane's second Strife allocation is Fistkind. I figured that she, like John, were the strongest out of the group in terms of raw strength which they inherited from their fathers. (Like seriously, Jane can hurl a giant-ass table covered in food ten feet in the air with one hand and that was when she was sixteen)
> 
> Also in terms of Jane's 'life sense' she detects life forces (like how John can feel peoples breathing, Jade can track people through the disturbance they leave in space, Dirk detecting souls) and can locate people within a sort distance (About sixty meters). It can be confusing for her, since if she's in a largely populated area she can easily get overwhelmed. It also depends on how 'alive' they are- if someone is in excellent health Jane can feel them a lot more easily. If someone is near death it's harder for her to locate them and if she had encountered ghost Aradia or a sprite she wouldn't be able to sense them since they are technically aren't alive and thus have no Life force. 
> 
> However the more psychically sensitive trolls (especially subjugglators since they've got chucklevoodoos by default) are able to sense her if she's using her Life sense to detect them so it's kinda only something you'd use if you getting stalked by something that already knows you're there but is hiding out, or if you don't give a shit about being found out.
> 
> It's not a particularly sound system, but it works well enough if Jane wants to probe about with her senses and see if there is anything living nearby.


	7. Break Up

Unconsciousness was entrenching on her vision as pulsing black tendrils as her hands fell away from the clawed grip holding her. The final, choked words had forced the last of the air from her lungs and the massive pressure on her throat tightened briefly, claws scraping through skin.

Then the hand gripping her throat abruptly vanished, causing Jane to fall onto the ground with a gasp. Stones and shards of concrete stabbed her hands, drawing more blood. Ignoring this Jane heaved herself back up to her feet on shaking limbs, breath coming in painful wheezes through her bruised throat. A sharp cracking noise caused her to jump as the troll roughly freed its pinned hand from her fork, ripping the weapon out before backing away from her with the bloodied staff clattering on the tiles.

Jane braced a hand on the cracked plinth behind her, staring at the massive troll towering before her. A storm of emotions were gathering in her gut, making her head spin and her breathing shake; disbelief, fright, joy, apprehension and overriding it all, a wild consolidation of blinding _hope._ Pushing herself away from the plinth Jane reached out a bruised hand, wanting to touch him, to make sure it was _him_.

Instead the troll backed up as she got closer, an utterly bewildered expression on its - _his_ \- face. The glowing scleras, which had been a deep poisonous red, were slowly ebbing back to a deep honey-yellow as Jane called to him again, wanting to touch, to feel, to hug him.

"Gamzee, is that really you?" She asked, desperation tainting her voice even as hot tears began to blur her vision. Ignoring the aching pain in her limbs she forced herself forward again, stepping over her abandoned War-Fork and trying to get closer to Gamzee. However he backed up even more, expression wild under the jagged, skull-like face paint. Jane could hear his quick, almost panicked breathing from nearly ten feet away and he looked half ready to bolt, muscles twitching spasmodically under pitch black skin. His heavy lips were still pulled up in a silent snarl, showing long fangs.

 _Stophimstophimstophim_ Jane's mind screeched at her, even as she tottered forward a few more painful steps. She nearly tripped over a piece of broken stone but ignored it, eyes still fixed upon Gamzee's face, on the three old scars marking it.

"It's me, Jane," she pleaded, voice cracking, "Remember me? Gamzee, _please_ , look at me."

Gamzee was still refusing to even look at her direction, instead shaking his head and letting out low, rough huffs of breath. Then he sniffed, head titling to the side, the thick paint creasing across the bridge of his nose and the snarl finally left his face.

A smile, small and frail, appeared on Jane's bloodied face and when she spoke her voice was strained and stuttering, "You remember me, don't you?" 

_You must remember me, I love you, where were you, did you ever try to reach me, come with me, are you happy, please stay with me,_ her mind raced a mile a minute, her thoughts consolidating into a frantic ball of hope, desperation and near hysteria.

She shuffled forward a few more feet until she was in front of him; Gamzee was standing stock-still, purple eyes fixed onto her face, his expression unreadable. Slowly she reached up, forced to stretch her arm up and stand on tip-toes. Even so, her fingertips would barely scrape his chin but as she got closer he dipped his head slightly, tentatively, his sclera's almost a deep gold. She had to touch him, to make sure it was _him_ so she could bring him back home. 

Her shaking, bloodied fingers were a hairsbreadth from the pitch-black skin of his chin when a sharp _zap_ and a burst of vibrant, crackling green off to the side caught both of their attention.

Jane barely had time to scream, " _Jade, don't-!_ " before the massive KABOOM of the Witch's anti-matter rifle firing exploded through the air.

Gamzee twisted around so quickly he was a blur; a sharp, bell-like noise sounded out as the glowing projectile ricocheted off one of his horns and went crashing into a building. Snarling, he look a step forward, vicious claws twitching at his side, looking as though he was about to spring forward and maul the two newcomers with his bare hands. A few yards away stood Roxy and Jade, both armed with massive rifles with identical stony expressions on their faces, not even flinching as the giant Subjugglator roared at them. 

Jade snapped her rifle back up against her shoulder, ears lying flat against her scalp. Her enraged snarls could easily been heard over low growling emanating from Gamzee. The Subjugglator took another step forward, claws digging gouges in the stone, expression murderous.

"Wait, no! Don't hurt them!" Jane lunged for him, arms outstretched. Gamzee instantly pivoted away from her, hopping backwards. She heard Roxy shout something but the Maid ignored it, instead trying to grab onto his arm. The troll again jumped back a few feet, causing the ground to shake as he did so, and glanced back at Jane; his expression was torn between violent rage and confusion. Then Jane tried to lunge at him again and he promptly flash-stepped away.

Jade let out a shout and fired off another shot at where he'd appeared on top of a building, but he simply battered the projectile aside with a swipe of a his club. Roxy immediately darted over to her side while Jade kept her massive gun trained on Gamzee, who was snarling so viciously at the Witch Jane half expected him leap down and tear her apart with his teeth.

Then he glanced back at Jane, who was trying to shake off Roxy's hand from her arm, and promptly vanished in a blur.

Inside herself Jane could feel something just _snap_ then a cold wave of ice washed through her body. Her limbs began to shake uncontrollably and then Jane was vaguely aware she had started screaming at this point, " _You get back here this instant! Don't you_ dare _leave me again, you bastard!_ "

She could hear Roxy and Jade jabbering away at her, asking her questions and poking at all the bruises and scrapes littering her body. Jane ignored them, instead tempted to give chase to Gamzee, to forcibly drag him home with her regardless of his own opinion and _how dare he just leave_.

But she didn't go charging off clown hunting; Instead when Roxy managed to wrap an arm around her shoulders Jane simply burst into tears, her gut clenching tight with distraught, anger and distress as she began to wail.

"Janey? Jane, are you hurt? Shit-"

"I think she's having a panic attack," Jane vaguely heard Jade talking as she half-fell over, Roxy's arms around her shoulders the only thing stopping her from face-planting onto the stone. Her breath was pained and wheezing, her skin felt cold and clammy even as she cried, horrible, racking sobs that jerked her body violently. She felt a hand take off her broken glasses and then press against her forehead accompanied by Roxy's familiar smell of citrus, bubble gum and oil which overwhelmed her senses. 

"Shit, I don't blame her," Roxy's voice sounded oddly muted, as if she was speaking underwater, "Did you fucking _see_ the size of that thing? Do you think he 'voodoo'd her?"

"I don't know, we should get her back to base. Fucking hell, Jane! You should've called for back up! Especially since that thing looks like it fucking eats children for breakfast!"

Jane was being supported by the two women even she struggled to draw in breath, tears rolling down her face as she nearly fell over. Roxy and Jade's faces were colourful blurs in her vision and Jane wanted to slap away their hands and scream at them for scaring away Gamzee after meeting him again after a decade of being separated from each other.

"Aw, knock it off, Jade! Jane is loosing her shit. Zap us back home-"

Everything after that was encompassed within a blinding blast of green. Jane was crying too heavily to care, sobbing so hard she was half-convinced she was going to die. She could still hear Jade and Roxy babbling, then a familiar set of arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders and Jane automatically threw herself into her father's embrace and began to bawl onto his shoulder like a teenager, uncaring as she began to stain his white suit with blood and tears.

She struggled to breathe, wild animal noises of despair emanating from her. Absently she was aware of someone starting to clean her bloodied hands with a damp cloth even as her father murmured gently to her and rubbed at her shoulders. His familiar smell of tobacco and baking caused her to unconsciously relax. Slowly she began to calm down, sniffing and gradually relaxing her death grip on her dad's back. The Maid pulled her head away from where it had been pressed into the crook of his neck, eyes feeling swollen and gritty and realising that sometime during her crying fir she'd collapsed onto the ground, with her dad and Jade sitting next to her. Blearily she watched Jade carefully wipe some stray drops of indigo blood from her forearm, a lump in her throat and burning ache in her chest.

Then she heard Roxy's voice mention _Subjugglators_ and she knew she had to move. Jane heaved herself to her feet, legs nearly buckling underneath her. She swayed slightly and felt her father carefully hold onto her shoulders, steadying her. Jade hovered off to the side, holding onto a damp, bloodied cloth and exchanging an unreadable glance with her Alpha counterpart, who stood off to the side.

A few feet away Dirk and Roxy were conversing in low tones, identical looks of worry on their faces. Well, she was about to make them even more freaked out but she had to tell them, they _had_ to know who she saw.

Jane leaned back slightly into her father's grip, ignoring the pain in her sore throat and chest as she managed to blurt out,

"It was Gamzee."

\-----

Roxy was _this_ close to loosing her shit.

Many things contributed to Roxy nearly loosing her shit. First was the invasion of a hostile aliens species who liked to paint in human blood and do some real nasty shit to dead bodies. Second was the sleep deprivation and the fuckload of hours she spent squinting at a computer screen on a shitty chair. Third was the chocolate gateau John made her especially had gotten eaten by a certain inconsiderate short-shorts wearing he-man. The fourth thing that nearly maxed her 'Completely Lose All Shit' meter was learning about how her BFF Jane had been left to fend off a crazy-ass giant fucking psycho clown alone.

Well, admittedly that last one incited more panic than loosing-shit rage; Roxy had been at one of the teleportation stations trying to find out where the hell Jane was so she could ask her about some security shit she was going to do with the communication firewalls when one of the groups that had just teleported in reported to the dude at the computer and the lead soldier, some tough-looking blonde woman, mentioned at how 'Miss Crocker' stayed behind to delay some Subjugglators from killing the ragtag group.

Roxy spent a few moments cursing, interrogating and cursing some more. _Typical fucking Jane._ Do shit like potential clown mauling to save some random-ass folk. Roxy of all people knew how fucked up and frozen Jane got around Subjugglators and it would be the icing on a fan-fucking-tastic couple of months Roxy'd been having if her best friend got turned into colour bug splat.

So she yelled some more, then yelled for Jade who promptly showed up all glowing and dogeared. Roxy barely told her what was going down before Jade teleported the two of them to the location the tracker in Jane's molar was currently active.

When they'd appeared in a fucked up market courtyard, along with the annoying feeling akin to seasickness whenever she got space-warped, Roxy had been half-expecting the place to be filled with a pack of clown trolls going apeshit with Jane beating them off with her giant warrior spoon.

Instead there had only been one.

But it was a fucking _monster._

Roxy's primal mind had just balked at seeing the giant fucking thing, easily over ten feet tall with wavy horns with nightmarish face paint and covered from head to toe in rainbow blood like some demented version of _It._ The Rogue's mind panicked at how close Jane was to the thing -all it would have to do was bend down to bite her head clean off- but before she could do anything Jade's furious shout sounded out next to her and Roxy was nearly deafened when the Witch fired her giant rifle at the brute.

The beast was quick and the projectile went ricocheting off one of its horns and blew up a nearby building. Roxy shook off her paralysis at Jane's panicked scream- the Maid was shouting something, but the high-pitched ringing in Roxy's ears prevented her from understanding it. She wanted to sprint over to her friend but the giant fucking monster was in the way and could probably snap her in half with one hand. The troll took a step forward, expression so murderous Roxy half-expected the thing to lunge at them and attempt to kill them with its bare teeth and claws. Something about that giant ass troll seemed familiar as fuck, but Roxy was a bit too panicked to muse on it especially as Jane took that moment to jump forward.

 _Then Jane tried to fucking grab the troll._ Roxy shouted at Jane to "Get the fuck away from the thing!" but the Maid ignored her, attempting to grab onto one of the monster's arms. Before she could touch it, the troll promptly flash-stepped and reappeared on top of one of the buildings. Roxy barely faltered before bounding over and grabbing at her arm; Jane easily tore herself from the Rogue's grip- _damn that fuckin' Crocker megawoman strength_ \- and ran forward a few more paces. Before Roxy could catch up with her, Jade fired her rifle again. This time the troll slapped it aside with a bloodied hand, snarling. Roxy was about to bring her own gun up, fearing the troll would going to try having a go at Jade, when it glanced back at Jane.

 _Shit, it must know she's the-_ before Roxy could even finish the thought the troll blurred and vanished. Roxy tensed and twisted around, but it didn't appear behind her in an attempt to backstab her with its killer clown claws. Jane started screaming at this point, weird incoherent shit about someone leaving and Roxy grabbed a hold of her as the Maid stormed past, half worried her best friend was going to pursue the giantass thing. 

However the instant Roxy managed to get her arms around Jane she just burst into hysterical tears and would've fallen over if Roxy hadn't been gripping her so tight. At first Roxy was panicking, thinking she was severely injured but no matter what she asked Jane just carried on crying. Jade came over and tried to help but to no avail and Roxy had the horrible thought that perhaps the huge clown had chucklevoodoo'd her. Though humans were largely immune to the mindcontrol aspects of the Subjugglator's psychics they could still be victims of the crippling paranoia and blinding fear the painted trolls could inflict. Some of the strongest clowns could briefly 'browse' strong memories in humans and tailor the nightmares as they saw fit.

Fuck. If that was the case, little wonder Jane was completely fucking loosing it right now.

Then Jade darted up next to her, rifle still equipped, and she and Roxy yelled at each other some more and Jane was crying so hard she was doubled over and could was making horrible choking noises. So after some more shouting Roxy managed to get Jade to teleport them back to the head mousehole. Jade had the foresight to zap them to the private central base, where only the past Sburb players and their family were allowed in. 

Only John, Dirk, Grandma Harley and Jane's hot single dad were there in the lounge, looking like they were in the middle of lunch. When the three women appeared in a blast of green, with a still-crying Jane being held up between them. The Maid's dad was there in an instant, taking Jane from their arms with parental gentleness and a second later Jane was bawling into his shoulder, with John hovering next to the two. Her sobs were horrible, like someone who was just _done_ and had given into despair. Grandma Harley came along at a slower pace, green eyes bright and alert in her weathered face. 

"What happened?" Dirk asked as he stopped next to Roxy, Jade already having gone over to the sink to get a wet facecloth, "We heard about the lieutenant and how Jane stayed behind, but thought it was-"

"She was getting attacked by a giant fucking troll," Roxy interrupted shortly, "It ran off before we could kill it and Jane's been off her fucking tree ever since- I think it might've gotten her with its 'voodoos." 

"Well shit," Dirk muttered, lips twisting down as he glanced back to over to Jane, who was still clinging to her father.

"Should we- fuck, I dunno, we should get Rose in here, see if she can do some Light shit and help?" 

Dirk just made a helpless gesture with one hand; the psychic powers of trolls were unpredictable at the best of times, much less attempting to find a way to fix the mental issues that came from the abilities. At the moment Jane was still crying, but at least she'd stopped with the massive, body shaking sobs, instead going to low whines and snorts against her father's sternum. Jade was kneeling down next to where the two Crocker's were sitting on the floor and carefully started to wash off some of the blood from Jane's hands. Roxy grimaced; the Maid looked like she'd rolled around in a butchery. Clearly the troll had managed to get in a couple of good hits in before she'd shown up with Jade. Speaking of which...

"Dirk, how much security feed do you have on the Subjugglators, especially the hierarchy shit? There's been something nagging the crap outta me ever since I saw the thing, like I've seen it before somewhere. I'm pretty sure its a high-ranked clown, so we should be able to find what rank it is if we study surveillance; then we can get a good grab at its power level, in case its really fried her head or some shit."

"Sure, those clowns aren't exactly camera shy," Dirk replied with a shrug, though Roxy could tell by the tense lines around his mouth he was as distressed as she was with what happened, "But you'll have to toil through quite a lot of disturbing corpse usage to get-" 

Jane made a sudden, pained sound and shot upright, nearly knocking over her father and Jade. She still looked like shit, covered in blood, dirt and god knows what else. Her clothes were torn, glasses broken and hair wild. Her bloodshot blue eyes met Roxy and the Rogue couldn't help but be faintly disturbed by the almost fanatical light in them. Jane swayed in place and her dad carefully placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her from falling over. The Maid sniffed again, leaning back into her father's hold, breath hitching before she spoke.

"It was Gamzee."

Her voice was raspy and strangled, but that simple sentence seemed to freeze everyone in place. Jade was a ridged statue, damp cloth clenched in her hands while John jerked his head up as if he'd been slapped. 

"Jane, honey," Roxy began in a gentle tone, carefully approaching her friend, "You're in shock, maybe you should-"

"No!" The Maid angrily smacked Roxy's hand away, "I'm not in shock, it was him darnit! Why did you show up?!" The venom in her voice made Roxy flinch slightly, "I could've touched him, spoke to him and convinced him to-"

Jane's voice cracked painfully and she stumbled backwards. Her father immediately caught her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, even as Jane hiccuped and started crying again.

"Alright Jane, that's enough," he said, voice soft but firm, "You're injured and panicked-we can talk about this once more after you've calmed down and gotten some rest."

Carefully he ushered his distraught daughter from the room, half supporting/half carrying her through the lounge to the rooms further inside. John hovered nervously for a few moments, before quickly following after the two with a brisk nod to the remaining group as he vanished after them.

A odd, tense silence fell over Dirk, Jade and Roxy, only broken when Grandma Harley gave a loud snort and said, "Well, that's complicated things."

"You think it's really Gamzee?" Dirk asked.

The old woman shrugged, brushing a strand of bone-white hair away from her face, "I think Jane really believes it's him, poor girl," her green eyes fixed upon her alternative self, "You saw the troll- do you think it's Miss Crocker's wayward paramour?" 

"I never met Gamzee," Jade said miserably, ears flat against her scalp, "He spoke with me a few times but I never personally met him, so I have no idea what he looks- looked like."

Roxy barely hesitated before blurting out, "Me neither- I mean fuck, I haven't seen him for ten years and I sure as shit can't see that weirdo lil' clown in that giant fucking thing that was in the square. Shit, it was like, eleven feet tall, probably more and covered in a fuckload of blood. Like some horror movie monster."

"So you don't know."

Roxy made a vague gesture with her hand, "If you want the honest truth? I kinda think Janey just had a freak out, or the thing fucked with her head using its psychic shit. It...well, it sounds shitty to say it, but Janey isn't exactly grounded when it comes to Subjugglators. You remember her first freak out when we fought one for the first time."

Grandma Harley grimaced, her face creasing into thousands of wrinkles, "Yes, I remember that. Fuck...I had hoped she was over that. But, we must make sure she is wrong- was she fighting when you showed up?"

"Um, actually they were just standing there when we showed up," Jade said hesitantly, "And it ran off, without a fight. I mean, even if it was outnumbered the troll was big and fast enough it wouldn't be certain we'd win; at least not without some severe injuries."

A still, contemplative silence followed, with Grandma Harley looking thoughtful, Jade upset, Dirk unreadable and Roxy torn between concern and anger. The sudden appearance of John roused them from their brooding. 

Roxy immediately hurried over and lightly touched John's arm, "Hey, how is she? Was she badly hurt?"

"No, she still has some impressive bruising and scratches but nothing you'd call brutal. She'd healed the worst of it and her passive healing should take care of the rest while she's sleeping," At Roxy's inquiring look he elaborated, "We gave her a mild sedative to calm her down and she's having nap at the moment... She was near hysterics so we both figured it would be best. Uncle is staying with her, to be there when she wakes up."

The Rogue couldn't help but agree; an angry, distressed Jane wasn't a good Jane to have around. A good snooze would do her some good, especially after a violent alteration with a giant alien clown who may or may not have screwed with her head.

"She still thinks it's him," John said quietly. 

"Fuck," the word jumped from Roxy's lips before she could stop it. She winced but carried on, "Alright, that's not good...I mean, that troll did seem oddly familiar, but I still don't think it was Gamzee; I'm pretty sure I've just seen it in security videos and surveillance; it's like really high ranked or something. One of the head generals."

"Why don't we start there?" Jade suggested, "If you have seen it in those videos, we should be able to verify who they are- if they really are Gamzee. Even if it isn't Gamzee at least we can show it to Jane to prove it isn't him so it doesn't seem we're just dismissing her outright."

Roxy grimaced but nonetheless she agreed, "Okay, we should try and pull up some footage and see if we can find out who that troll is. I mean, it has been quite a while since Janey broke down like that so either it's a 'voodoo thing or she legitimately thinks it's him."

"We should gather everyone for that, then," Dirk said, "Inform them of what occurred with Jane and then we can all try and figure out just what the fuck is happening."


	8. Hold the line

Roxy had always liked the main conference room in their private quarters; it reminded her of those ridiculously elaborate Secret Service/Super hero bases with a giant domed ceiling, a massive round table with a huge television screen upon one of the walls. Kitchen facilities were infused along the opposite wall of the screen, along with a teleporation station in case anyone got the munchies or need to zap off somewhere. The greys and dark blues gave the room a calm, almost impersonal vibe though there were little objects of comfort such as squiddles, left-over robots and abstract art dotting the room. Roxy had wanted to put a giant embossed logo on the table along with the words 'the league of mega-awesome bitches who kick major ass' but unfortunately her proposal was vetoed out by a few negative votes. Bunch of Grinches.

Comfy, tall-backed chairs circled the table, each one with its own specific symbol decorating it; the aspect for the Sburb players and family symbol for the non-Sburb players. They were arranged Beta and Alpha along with their ecto-relations so Roxy would be seated with Mama Lalonde on one side and Dirk on the other. Roxy, Dirk, Jade, John and Grandma Harley all went to their allocated seats as they waited for the rest of their family, barring Jane and her father, to arrive.

Roxy squirmed against her chair, pleased that it was as comfortable as she remembered. Grandma Harley had made sure to instal good seats around the table, saying that if this was going to be the room where they debated tactics and yelled at each other for hours on end they might as well as do it in relative comfort. As it was Grandma Harley was having a lively discussion with Jade and John, while Dirk was fiddling with the innards of some new robotic device he'd ejected from his sylladex, ignoring the sparks spitting from the loose wires. He only stirred from his concentration when Dave settled down a few seats from him and the two exchanged brisk nods.

The Rogue lightly touched the computer screen embedded in the tabletop in front of her and began to sort through some of the messages in her inbox. Most were just updates on the war and progress reports, including some irate complaints from the Prime Minister of New Zealand about a shipment of pineapple lumps that apparently got raided by a bunch of seadwellers while in transit and she was asking for permission to bomb one of their smaller ground bases with tonnes of dried ice in retaliation. 

She snorted, sending a short affirmative while attempting to briefly distract herself from her anxiety and apprehension about the topic they were all going to have to talk about. It would no doubt involve a lot of panic, accusations and shouting. Well, at least it couldn't be as bad as that 'this is what trolls do to dead bodies so cremate your fucking dead' announcement Jane had to make during the start of the war, minus the colourful language.

 _So, look on the bright side, Roxy!_ She gently mocked herself, _No necrophilia for today! Just your best friend thinking she'd finally found her long-lost alien boyfriend and nearly had a death fight with him before loosing it. Now I have to tell everyone and figure out just what the fuck we need to do. Ugh, I could really use a drink..._

The thought barely surfaced before her Beta counterpart flopped down into the chair next to her, managing not to spill any of her martini in the process. She looked fairly frazzled with some of her hair scorched and her usually white lab coat was decorated with dozens of burn marks but despite the alcohol she was holding her eyes were sharp and quick. 

"Hey good lookin'," the woman grinned, winking at Roxy. 

She smiled right back, "Hey yourself, hot momma."

"So, what's all this about? Got more raccoons in the vents?"

"Ugh no, thank god. I don't think Jake could survive another vent encounter with those fucking stripy demons. But hey, at least they hate trolls as much as they hate us," Roxy ended that with a bright laugh; judging by the way her Beta narrowed her eyes at the Rogue she'd detected the slight hysterical edge to it. Without preamble the older woman offered up her martini, bringing it up to Roxy's face and nearly poking her in the eye with an olive.

"Come on sweetie, just have a lil' sip to calm those nerves."

Roxy didn't even bother with a token protest, instead leaning forward and taking a gulp of the cool alcohol; it was smooth and slightly spicy. One of her faves.

She drew back, licking her lips slightly before giving the other woman a grateful smile.

"Aha, there we go!" she patted Roxy's arm with a grin of her own, "See, it ain't all bad. I mean, how shitty can this news be, eh? Can't beat the 'alien invasion' one or the 'watch out, them aliens are doing nasty shit to dead bodies'."

With a snort Roxy leaned back into her chair, "Ha true, it'd be hard to top those. Only thing I could think of is if Lord Technicolour douchebag English is still alive."

"Well I'd hope not." Rose chimed in tartly as she settled down next to her mother, crossing her legs and resting her chin in a hand.

"Where the hell is everyone?" Roxy grumbled, suddenly irritable, "I fucking said this was important shit and for everyone to haul ass, not act like they're half dead."

This time it was John who piped up from his Harley huddle, "They'll be here in a few minutes. I think they just have to finish whatever they're doing or find a way to escape their adoring crowds."

"Adoring, how _there's_ a word for it," Dave Alpha remarked as he walked past as casually as if he was out for a morning stroll before sitting down a few seats away. Roxy battered her eyelashes at him to which he responded with a smirk.

"Ugh, please no," Mini Dave complained, "I do not need to see my old man self hitting on my sister's mothers daughter like some-" the rest of Dave's complaint ended in a squawk as Bro flash-stepped into the room and promptly ruffled Dave's hair, ignoring the yelps of protest from the Knight.

Roxy giggled before the smell of perfume alerted her to the appearance of her mother, who looked elegant and poised despite the colouful bowl of lucky charms she was eating. The older woman settled back against her chair, legs crossed and expression calm, a near mirror of her counterpart.

John's dad was next to show up and Roxy ignored the jealous clench of her gut as he greeted her Beta counterpart with a light kiss before going to his seat next to his son. That just left the male Harley's to make an appearance then everything could go headlong into wild accusations and speculations territory. Even as Roxy impatiently took note of that, Grandpa Harley shuffled past looking tired and ragged as he took his place.

Then Jake's wide hand suddenly clamping onto her elbow nearly made her fall off her chair in shock.

"Damnit, Jakey!" She snapped, pinching his wrist and glaring up at him even as her heart hammered wildly in her chest, "Haven't I told you to do that shit while I'm paranoid and half-mad from troll crazies?"

He immediately let go of her, expression completely abashed like a scolded puppy, "Cripes, my apologies, Roxy! I didn't mean to spook you. But what is all this kerfuffle about? Where's Jane? She wasn't badly hurt during her arduous rescue mission, is she?"

Roxy patted him on the arm, ignoring the speculative looks she got from some of her family, "Don't worry, Jakey. She's okay, just had a bit of a panic attack and she's having a nap with her dad watching over her. Now get that booty to your seat and we can start this shit, okay?"

The worried look didn't leave Jake's face completely but he nonetheless nodded and complied with her order, going over to his seat between the two Jade's. His grandmother immediately ruffled his hair affectionately as he settled down next to her, with the page leaning into her hand like a puppy.

Roxy waited a few moments for everyone to be settled before she rapped her knuckles on the table and gaining all of their attention.

"Alright, so a couple of us already know what's going down, and from the message that got sent out it has something to do with Jane. However-" she raised a hand to forestall any questions, "-She's fine, she just had a bit of a break down and her dad's with her, so that's why those two aren't here."

"So what's the issue?" Roxy's mother asked, absently stirring the lucky charms with her rainbow-coloured spoon.

"Okay, so I think most of you guys know Jane went out in the field to help some troops retreated and she fixed them all good and then everything went to shit like it usually does and Jane stayed back to fend off some clowns while the ragtags got home safe. She's okay, but we all know how much she does like fighting them so Jade and I popped over to help. Anyone lost yet?" 

Dave opened his mouth but then jumped in his seat as if someone had kicked him under the table. Flushing, the Knight glared at his guardian then at Rose before settling back down. Roxy stuck out her tongue at him before she continued.

"So Jade and I showed up and had a bit of a punch up with the Subjugglator there and it left without any lasting injuries," Roxy said calmly, despite the fact she felt like screaming and throwing something, "However Janey reacted badly and had a bit of a break down. She...well, she also said something pretty important before her dad took her away for a rest."

Roxy was aware of her mother shifting next to her and Jade, sitting across from her, gave the Rogue an encouraging smile. Well, now or never.

"Alright, no one freak out but she said it was Gamzee."

A baffled silence followed that then Dave said in a bemused voice, "She thought it was actually _him_? From the Game? Creepy Sasquatch clown Gamzee?"

"No, the Gamzee from Turkey-" Roxy waved her hand in Jake's direction to stop him before he even started "- yes that one. The alien one. The one who was a Subjugglator. The one who was Jane's boyfriend at some point before everything went to shit." 

"She was also really convinced it was him," John added, "I half expected her to yell at Jade to take her right back."

"So, what?" Roxy's Beta self said, "Why are we just sitting here? Should go drag his ass here and we can sort this shit out."

"Yeah, because I'm sure bringing in a homicidal alien clown who belongs to a cult of blood-painters with a fondness for corpses would be so helpful right now," Dave Alpha snorted to which the woman promptly flipped him off. 

Grandpa Harley chimed in, "Do we know it wasn't just its dastardly mind magic working on Jane? Making her...well, see something all gobbledygook?"

"We don't know," Jade shrugged helplessly, "She was pretty stressed and freaking out, but that could be because she saw him again and she got an emotional overload."

"Okay look," Roxy said, "I know this sounds terrible, but you all gotta admit Janey isn't exactly...rational when it comes to shit like this. She did have an epic meltdown before which she's sleeping off right now; that's probs due to several factors- stress, trying to do ten hundred fucking things at once, getting beaten up, voodoo'd out of her mind by that giant clown and she thinks he's her long-lost alien squeeze. And, shit as it is, she's done this...knee-jerk panic before. Not as badly, true, but it has happened."

"So what?" John asked, a hint of steel entering his voice, "We just say 'Hey Jane, stop being hysterical' and carry on?"

"No, I'm saying we need to verify who it was she met," Roxy snapped back, eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Fine," Jade's voice interrupted the stare off between the Rogue and Heir, "So can you pull up some security footage or something, so we can figure out who it was?"

"That's what I'm trying," Roxy said, glancing back to the glowing screen of the computer embedded in the table in front of her, "But uuugh, there's so much shit to toil through. Especially with that camera whore waterbitch strutting around the place and putting her ugly gob in everything."

A scornful snort from her mother caused her to bite back a grin; then she sucked in a breath as the familiar shape flicked up on the computer screen, "Ooh, I think I've got 'im! Here, Jade this is the troll we saw earlier, right?"

With a deft flick of her fingers Roxy expanded the image and transferred it up to the massive screen looming over them. The picture was grainy, as if it was being affected by an outside interference, but they could all see the massive figured crouched upon a half-crushed van, clawed feet gripping the blackened metal, one arm stretched out for balance and the other braced on the asphalt in front of it. The head was tipped forward slightly, with giant, wavy horns jutting from a wild mass of curling black hair. The skull-like face paint gave the massive troll a nightmarish lilt and it was covered in a fantastic array of blood. It was glaring up in the direction of the camera, crimson sclera's glaring and bloody teeth bared.

"So, Jade," Roxy said cheerily, ignore the shiver of primal fear that slid down her spine, her mind already flashing back to her nerve wracking real-life encounter with the clown, "That's the one we saw today wasn't it?"

Jade nodded slowly, green eyes wide behind her glasses, "Yup, that's it all right. Him, I guess."

"Janey fought that thing _alone_?" Roxy's Beta counterpart said incredulously, "Holy shit, give the girl a drink for fighting off that fucking giant-ass clown."

"So, Rosie and Davie, what do ya think?" The Rogue asked, leaning forward slightly, "You guys saw him on that giant rock thing and he spoke to you- is that him?"

Rose had a hilariously disturbed expression on her face as she studied the image, lips parted slightly and brow furrowed in thought. Dave meanwhile chose to answer with a blunt, "Fuck no."

Roxy glared at him, eyes narrowed from annoyance at the deliberately shitty answer. The Knight, to his credit, didn't so much as twitch but as Roxy continued to stare at him unblinkingly he started to fidget slightly. Slowly she pointed at him, brow still furrowed.

Unfortunately Rose's voice stopped her glare-down, "I confess, I find it impossible to reconcile the two images; if it weren't for the fact you connected the two I wouldn't see resemblance barring the purple and the clown aspect."

"Who is that, then? Do you guys have any idea?" John asked.

"That right there is the Grand Highblood," Dirk said curtly, expression grim, "He's essentially the High Subjugglator in the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs; basically the head clown. Typically the three High Priestormentors are close at hand-" Dirk tapped on his screen a few times and new images flicked up on the main computer screen. There was three trolls, each decked out in the purple of their blood caste.

One was tall and slim and dressed in what looked like gaudy robes peppered with polka dots and with heavy purple gloves and striped sleeves. Thick ragged hair hung down to the troll's narrow waist and jutting from his scalp was two long arching horns that reminded Roxy of an Sable's. Thin glasses that would be appropriate on a grandmother were resting on the trolls face; though it seemed moot as the Priestormentor had no eyeballs to speak of, just empty black pits. The second troll was the largest out of the group, with broad shoulders and a vicious fanged grin set in her painted face while a thick purple sac grew at her throat, akin to a frogs. Most of her hair was swept right while a pair of S shaped horns curled from her temples and down her back. She was balanced on the lip of a crater, holding a long, horn-coloured spear in one hand. The third Priestormentor was the smallest but with stout limbs and wielding what looked like a staff with a giant bell on one end. Instead of thick horns like its fellow Priestormentors, this one had thinner ones that reminded Roxy of thick sickle blades facing each other, the right one with small hooks on the ends. In all, they looked as wild as their so-called head clown.

There were numerous notes along with the photos of the Priestormentors. Apparently the Sable-horned priest, despite having no eyes, was the best tracker out of the lot due to his tongue; he essentially had one akin to a snake and was able to detect heat signatures. Some humans _had_ been able to escape him once he was after them, usually by pulling a Predator and covering themselves in mud or starting rampant fires to confuse the troll but on the whole the clown had been a real pain in the ass for anyone doing covert operations, since he was literally able to track their body heat. Roxy scowled; he'd been one of the reasons her operation in Scotland, where she'd been attempting to liberate one of the Carnivals the Subjugglators had made, had gone to smash as he'd been able to 'see' her despite Roxy being invisible at the time and the troll ended up giving her a vicious backstab in the kidney with his spear which cut her rescue operation short.

The other two she hadn't personally encountered; The female of the group apparently had acidic spit and was capable of ejecting the corrosive liquid like a spitting cobra. The venom was capable of melting through flesh, bone, wood and steel with ease and was a real pain in the ass since she was incredibly accurate with it along with the potential splash radius. As for the last Priestormentor, their deafness meant their main weapon was _sound._ Jane had already healed a black ops squad who had their eardrums burst after the clown rang the massive staff bell during one of their covert operations, the tolling being so strong it had caused massive damage to the inner ear. Even at a longer rang the noise was able to disorientate, causing massive headaches and dizziness. However none of her family had met either the mute or the deaf Priestormentors, but considering how she'd been completely blindsided by the eyeless one she wasn't too keen on a potential confrontation with all three at once. 

"See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil," Roxy muttered to herself.

"It has his sign, though," Rose said quietly, dragging Roxy's attention away from the motley pack of psycho clowns.

"Eh?"

"The symbol upon the troll's shirt; it's the astrological sign for Capricorn which Gamzee created when he aided the other trolls within their Game."

Jade's ears perked up, "So it _is_ him?"

"...I would still say no- despite the sign, I cannot see any other resemblance other than being a Subjugglator- even the facepaint and horns are all wrong."

"Maybe they change when they grow up?" John suggested, before he frowned "...But then Meenah's was still _kinda_ similar to the Condesce's horns- the waterbitch's horns are just a lot longer...not all wavy and weird like that things. And in terms of body difference they were what a teenager would be to a regular adult. Ugh."

"Yes, Gamzee's horns were a lot shorter and had only one bend in them. Also, he was barely our size while we were in the Game. It seems fairly unlikely that he would grow nearly seven feet more," Dirk said.

Rose looked frustrated, "We still can't rule it out, though. We've never witnessed the metamorphism trolls go through when they pupate. Karkat and Kanaya certainly looked vastly different to the Condesce, who's a fully-grown troll. But then, this could even be Gamzee's ancestor, much like how the Condesce was the...hmm, what was her name? Well, there was also apparently another Pisces among the troll Sburb group before she was killed and she was the descendant of the Condesce. So perhaps this is Gamzee's ancestor? It would explain both the extreme similarities and the subtle differences."

"Can we find the Grand Highblood's real name?" Grandpa Harley asked, "To not be overzealous, but it would help validate the identity of this...wild miscreant and aid with easing Jane's torment."

Roxy grimaced as she stabbed at the holographic screen, sleuthing through reports and information, "No, that shit is locked down tight; the firewalls are so tough even I can't crack 'em. If we could get to their communications hub, then yeah. But until then we're just pissing into the wind."

"So what? We just wait?"

"We can't just burst into their tech center and steal their all of their personal shit. Well okay _maybe_ we could but we'll probably die horrifically in the process-"

"Oh come on, if it really _is_ Gamzee it would be incredibly advantageous for us to persuade him to switch sides-"

"Are you fucking serious, who knows how fucked up in the head he is? He'll probably eat us all in our sleep."

"Still, if he is the Highblood, imagine how much information he has on the empire-"

"I doubt he'll just merrily come along with us-"

"Maybe we should ask Jane-"

"Yeah great idea, not like she's biased-"

"Ugh, how about 'fuck you'!"

The room dissolved into arguments, questions, theories and outright dismissals as everyone began to speak. Roxy grimaced but figured it was best for everyone to voice their opinions about the fairly controversial topic. She stayed quiet for most of it, instead glaring at her computer as she scanned through numerous photos of the troll hierarchy. While she did hope Jane was right in thinking it was Gamzee, it would hurl a pretty horrible monkey wrench into things. As the Grand Highblood, the Subjugglator was the head of the Church, who were the meat of the Alternian army. But they couldn't just track him down- hell, they couldn't do anything without verifying his name as the risk was too great that it _wasn't_ him. 

That was the crux of the matter; personal names for the higher ups were locked down in the tightest security and there was no way Roxy could break through their firewalls. She would need to hook up into the central computer source, get into their direct communication hub. A power source that was, by all information, located on the flagship for the Subjugglators where the head clowns lurked. So the likelihood she would be killed before she could get anything of worth had always knocked that plan down despite how valuable the potential information on it was.

But if that really _was_ Gamzee then it meant the other troll Game players were around and could, potentially, aid them with the whole 'Invasion of planet Earth' thing. 

Or they had already been killed and couldn't do jack. Considering how shit troll culture was it wasn't that farfetched. Or maybe they would just say 'fuck off' if they did manage to contact them at all; the Rogue had no idea since she'd never even met the Game trolls before everything went to hell in a hand basket and everyone was mostly dead. Roxy slumped forward with a groan, holding her face in her hands.

It was her mother's hand gently shaking her shoulder that stirred her from her contemplation and Roxy belatedly realised Jade had been trying to ask her something. Judging from the exasperated tone in the Witch's voice she'd been asking it for a while.

"Uh, yeah?" Roxy asked, embarrassed. 

"I said, is there anyway we can get his real name? If that really is Gamzee, then Karkat should be alive as well, shouldn't he?"

That managed to shut everyone up at the table as Jade continued, "And if _he's_ alive, the Empire should have information on him since he's a mutant and maybe we could...I don't know, ask for help."

"This sounds great and all," Dirk said, voice flat, "But the fact is we still have no idea if that really is Gamzee. We can't base our plans on what might be- we need solid proof before we try and get into the Empire's communications hub."

"So you _do_ know where it is?" Jade accused.

"Yes," he said frankly, "But it's located on the Subjugglators flagship." Roxy couldn't help but wince; it sounded even worse aloud and just made the whole thing sound even more impossible. 

"I could teleport you there," Jade offered.

"No," John interrupted, "Jade, you look like shit-" he ignored the angry glare his sister threw at him "-and you're exhausted. Also, it would take someone a few minutes to get into the...information doohickey."

Roxy nodded, "Yeah, it would take me at least five minutes to get into the hub and the clowns would most likely be alerted as soon as I got into their shit. Not to mention their ships all constantly move; Jade would have to teleport us a long distance and even then I would probably get my ass ganked before I could escape, even with my invisibility."

"So you take someone with you," John said.

"Uh, excuse me," Dave interrupted, "As much as I'm all for helping Janey reunite with her star-struck clown lover like some Hollywood cliche, are we missing the point that the head-honcho Psychoclown tried to kill Jane?"

"Maybe he didn't recognize her?" Jade suggested, "Or he was suffering from psychosis and didn't really know what was going on? Or he just...I don't know, attacked her on pure instinct over her familiarity?"

"Wait wait wait, so that means Jane and Gamzee attacked each other because 'oh you didn't call me' rage?"

"How about you stop being a fucking dick Dave, before I come over there and punch your glasses off?"

"Now children," Roxy's mother interrupted sternly, "there is no need for that. However-," here she turned slightly so she was looking at Roxy and Dirk, "-have you two located the communication hub of the Empire? Do you know its current location? Regardless of the personal interest Jane has, hitting the information source would be invaluable for our efforts as would the chance to destroy it after we've gotten the intelligence. Because when it comes down to it we are merely enduring in this war at this point. We are constantly on the defensive. Gaining this information and killing the intelligence center would be a a massive win for us." 

John frowned, "How would we do that? Just blow it up? Smuggle a nuke on board?"

"Actually it would be far easier than that," Dirk said, "from what we've gathered, the communication hub is actually a troll."

"How-?"

"It's like a Helmsman; that is, the focal point of the intelligence network is a psionic, a yellow blood troll who's been partially cannibalised into technological hardware and is codenamed 'the Observer'. However unlike Helmsmen, it isn't used as a ship engine. So we would just need to kill the _body_ to kill the Observer and make the system fail. Far as we know they're only used to monitor all communications and information in the Empire, hence the title and importance. Its also been the one who keeps on updating and changing their firewalls and spying on us. Its even managed to break into some of our central data here- not the core, which we make sure to keep on an independent and isolated server, but they have come pretty fucking close. However that means we'd only get one chance to locate the ship; the instant we enter the coordinates and single out the Subjugglator ship that the Observer is located on _and_ being able to bypass their shield system, they'll be aware of what we're doing within minutes if you're caught and they'll scramble their codes. So even if Jade _can_ teleport Roxy onto the ship instantly after we locate it the effort would most likely exhaust her enough she wouldn't be able to teleport her back even if Roxy _does_ receive the information."

"It depends on how far away it is. If it's within the Earth atmosphere it'll be easier for me to zap them on. But yeah, like Dirk said if they're in space or further away I'll only be able to do a one-way zap, especially if they jump further out when they're aware of the infiltration," Jade said, running a hand through her thick black hair and looking frustrated.

"Actually, we've managed to create a prototype for a free range teleporter," Grandma Harley offered, "And by that, I mean one that doesn't need to be connected to a central teleportation station using the pads to relay the space rift. We're able to do a freestyle rift, that she could use to get back here since we could open it right next to her location on her trackers. We've mostly been using it for emergency supply runs and Drone ambushes. However most we can do is open a rift for five seconds before it switches off because the power requirement is so high and it can overheat quickly and even then it needs a few hours to cool down. So if Roxy can't get into the rift in time she could be stuck there."

"Why does Roxy have to do these dangerous stunts?" Jake asked, frowning, "Not that I'm saying you aren't top notch, Roxy," he hastily added on, giving her an apologetic look.

"It's 'cause I'm the best hacker around here," Roxy said bluntly, "Also I'm the only one here who can be invisible and intangible _and_ who can access all the information from the Observer. I have the best chance of escaping there alive."

"You should take someone with you," Dave Alpha said, a frown on his face, "You will need someone to defend you while you're downloading the information; I have no doubt the Observer will alert the Subjugglators of your presence once you start and last thing we want is you getting blindsided by a bunch of badly-dressed clowns and turned into pretty finger paint."

"Well okay then, so who here wants to come with me on a potential suicide mission?"

\-----

Jane woke gradually with a dry mouth and aching limbs. Her eyelids fluttered as she shifted from where she had been curled on her side on top of the covers of a soft bed, rolling onto her back and stretching. Glancing blearily around, she realised she was lying on one of the beds in one of the dozens of spare rooms they had in the central hub. Confused, she began to move, throwing off her sleep-induced lethargy.

Suddenly she bolted upright, panic clutching at her throat as the last few hours came rushing back in a flood of panic. Jane was about to leap out of bed when a large hand landed on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down. She was about to protest and was about to get up regardless, only to stop when she realised it was her father who was half-leaning over her, concern etched onto his face. Jane slumped back against the duvet and pillows like a puppet with its strings cut, letting out a loud sigh as her mind ran around in circles.

"It's alright Jane, you're safe," her father said gently as he settled back down on the chair next to the bed, hands resting on his knees. Thin tendrils of smoke curled up from the lit end of his pipe, making Jane's nose twitch.

The Maid grimaced, shifting slightly and feeling aches and pain flare up again. A quick internal scan showed she wasn't badly damaged, just a lot of superficial damage that would be gone in a half-hour from her passive healing. At least her cracked ribs had recovered during her impromptu nap even if her mind was still panicked. She still felt a near overwhelming sense of hysteria and she wanted to jump from the bed, to track him down and forcibly drag him home and perhaps scream at him for a while then cry and get him to hug her.

But common sense overrode her churning emotions and she lay back on the mattress again, forcing her breathing to slow down, steady inhales and exhales until her body was relaxed, tension oozing from her muscles. She started to speak only to start coughing violently. Thumping at her chest with a hand Jane sat up, grimacing as her still-sore throat burned as the coughs subsided into faint wheezes. Her father made a questioning noise at her and offered her a glass of water on the bedside table to which Jane gratefully accepted. She downed the water in one go, sighing in relief as the cool liquid soothed the roughness of her injured throat, before she put the empty glass back on the stand. 

Carefully she categorized her thoughts, feeling shame, remorse and hope churn around in her gut. Shame for her rampant break down earlier -though luckily only her family witnessed it- remorse for not pursuing Gamzee when she had the chance and hope that she now had definite proof he was alive. All she had to do now was find a way to contact him. That is, if he was willing to talk to her.

_He recognized me, so clearly he retained his memory even if he did initially attempt to kill me. To be fair we both tried to kill each other and he stopped when I said his name...I wonder, why is he with the Empire? Did he think I was dead? Does he care anymore? Does he even remember anything? Did winning the Game wipe out his memories? The final part of Sburb was a human session, so maybe when it restored Alternia it didn't attribute for their memories...wait, that makes no sense, he remembered me when I said his name...or maybe he was only reacting to the fact I knew his name?_

Jane brooded on the issue for a long minute, running numerous scenarios through her mind as she shifted uneasily on the bed. Most just ended in death and violence which, to be fair, seemed to be a staple now days. But still, as violent as Gamzee's reaction was, he stopped hurting her as soon as he recognized who she was. She might have even been able to talk to him if only Roxy and Jade hadn't of shown up when they did. 

The instant that spiteful thought arose Jane felt ashamed. It wasn't her friends fault; they went to help as soon as they heard she'd stayed behind and they'd drawn up a logical conclusion at seeing her a few feet from a gigantic Subjugglator. It also didn't help she'd been injured and covered in blood and god knows what else. Not exactly a good first impression. 

"Are Roxy and Jade alright?" Jane suddenly asked, glancing over at her father through cracked glasses.

He didn't even pause, "They're both fine. They're at a meeting right now, discussing the issue," he held up his phone, "Don't worry, you've only been sleeping for around fifteen minutes."

Jane's face fell slightly, "Shucks, I've made a right mess of things haven't I?"

"Oh no, of course you haven't," her father said, his expression soft, "You simply had an emotional overload. We all have those, from time to time. You especially have been under a vast amount of pressure. A few cracks are to be expected."

"So they told you what happened?"

"The gist of it," he replied, glancing down at his phone, "and they've elaborated a tad more within their meeting."

She shifted back up against the headboard of the bed, glancing down at her blood stained forearms. She was still wearing her brown trousers and beige undershirt, though her shoes and jacket had been removed. She winced as she plucked at the tattered sleeves of her shirt and ran a hand through her messy hair; she must look like a real bloody, mangled mess. Her glasses were also cracked and blood splattered. She'd need to get a spare pair. To be fair, her reunion with her long-lost alien boyfriend left a lot of be desired and neither of them left the brawl looking pretty. Jane snorted, amused despite herself.

Her father, who was still watching her closely and radiating concern, relaxed slightly as Jane eased back against the headboard, "Do you want to speak to me about it?" he asked gently.

With a huff Jane gave her father a sideways look, "You're following along with their meeting; I've bet they've already gone over what happened."

"I would rather hear it straight from you," he said quietly, expression soft.

A faint smile crossed Jane's face and she felt some of her anxiety ease. She'd spoken to her father of Gamzee before on numerous occasions and he'd never condemned her for her odd choice in romance; even Rose had been fairly taken aback when Jane had first told her. Even after she told Gamzee's apparent murderous rampage her father never once lectured her. Expressed concern of course, but he never once regarded her with disbelief, scorn or incredulous confusion, unlike nearly everyone else among her family at some point.

So she shuffled around so she was sitting cross-legged on the bed and facing her dad. She ignored the fact she really needed a shower and was covered in some magnificent plum-coloured bruises and cuts. The Maid mulled over her story for a while before figuring starting right at the beginning would be easiest.

"Well, do you know about that lieutenant, Sophie?" her father nodded and Jane continued, "I'd left to offer aid to her and her company; most of them were badly injured and I spent the hour before dawn healing them all enough that they could walk."

"You didn't exert yourself too badly?"

Jane shook her head, "No, no...most of it just took time, not any intense effort. A few were missing fingers and whatnot, but not anything really complex. If they were missing a few _limbs_ then I would be out for the count," she smiled wryly, "But as luck would have it, none of them were that badly injured. But anyway, it was only minutes from dawn once I'd finished and we were setting off. It was then we were alerted to a Subjugglator in the near vicinity. I...chose to stay behind, to buy some time so they could escape without a holdup. It turns out there was only one troll, however."

"The Grand Highblood."

She gave her father a confused look and he raised his phone, the familiar image of adult Gamzee on the small screen, "They're discussing it right now and they've identified the title of the ah, troll who you had your confrontation with."

"Gamzee," Jane said, her voice barely a whisper. Her father neither rebuked or criticized her, instead simply watched her with a sympathetic expression on his weathered face.

The sting of tears momentarily blurred her vision but Jane angrily blinked them away. She inhaled deeply, struggling to draw breath through the thick lump that suddenly clogged her throat; she'd done her crying for the day. Now she needed to be calm, she needed to _think_.

"And what are they saying about that?" she asked, staring down at her hands. The Maid was fairly sure what the general consensus was 'Jane is overreacting again, but smile and nod until she stops', or something along those lines.

Her father's slow response just furthered her doubts, "They are...a bit apprehensive to simply take your belief at face value. However they're debating on how they can verify his identity."

Jane frowned, "And how will they do that?" she said, struggling not to let the hurt in her voice. She knew her family were just being reasonable but she still felt offended that they didn't trust her word.

 _Oh stop it, you've already been misinformed before,_ she chided herself, _It's completely darn reasonable they aren't going to believe you right off the bat with this. And they aren't being spiteful, you know that. They just want to be completely sure._

It was the blunt truth but it still hurt.

"Well, that do you think?" Jane asked, looking at her father, expression neutral.

He lowered his pipe from his mouth, head cocked to the side. He remained silent for a long moment as he leaned against the arm of the chair before he spoke, "Did you speak to him, during your...alteration?" 

She perked up, "Yes, I did. It was when he was in the middle of strangling me and I broke his thumb."

Jane immediately regretted saying that as an expression of deep concern appeared on her father's face. She reached out and patted his hand, "It's alright, he let go after I said his name and besides, most of my injuries have already healed."

"How did you recognize him?" he asked, still looking disturbed.

"The scars," she gestured to her own face with her spare hand, "He had three of them on his face, just like he did back in the Game...I think he said a...what did he call it? A meowbeast did them," she said, smiling faintly, "I never noticed them at first because it was too dark. It was only when the sun rose up and he got a faceful of it that I realized who he was."

"And he stopped assaulting you afterwards?"

"Yup- I really think he had no idea it was me. I mean, shucks, I didn't even realise who he was at first. Little wonder we just had a murderous fight right at the get go," Jane shrugged helplessly, "But he didn't want me near him and he kept on flinching away. I managed to get close to him..."

"And then Jade and Roxy showed," her father said slowly.

Jane nodded, her fingers clenching around her father's hand. He squeezed back in response and Jane felt a flush of gratitude for his support. At least when push came to shove she knew her father would always be there for her, even if she monumentally fucks up somewhere down the line. Which in all likelihood is what is going to happen again at some point. 

"So..." Jane gestured vaguely, "What should I do?" she asked, hating how small and uncertain her voice sounded.

He was silent for a while before he released her hand and stood, offering his palm, "I think you should go get cleaned up and I'll make you something to eat. _Then,_ we can go speak with the others about what we're going to do about this."

Smiling, she accepted her father's hand and allowed him to pull her off the bed and to her feet. She glanced down at her hand, dirty and blood-smeared against her father's clean one, "Gee, I believe you have a point. I'm a complete mess. I'll make myself presentable then we can have a bite to eat together," she leaned over and kissed her father's cheek before she walked past him, moving to the bathroom further in the rooms.

After all, no one in their right mind would want to eat anything while covered in blood.

\-----

Jane stood underneath the spray of water, the shower being hot enough it was close to being uncomfortable. She remained motionless for a long while, letting the hot water beat against her skin and turning it a dull red. After a few moments she reached over and picked up the sponge on the shower shelf next to the body wash. Scrubbing at her arms with the sponge she calmly worked at getting the dried blood and grime off her limbs.

The water swirling down the drain was a tinted a dull rust, tinted with purple. Jane paused in her scrubbing to gingerly touch her collarbone and then she slowly slid her fingers up to her throat. When she pulled them back her fingers were smeared with red and purple blood. She stared at the alien colour even as the water slowly washed it away; she guessed some of Gamzee's blood had splattered against her front from either his arm or wrist wound during their fight and she figured she'd never noticed it because she was half-crazed from adrenaline and shock at the time.

She leaned against the tiled wall even as the water continued to beat against her skin, the heat slowly easing the soreness from her muscles even as her mind ran in circles. Gosh, what if she'd killed him before she saw the scars? Or vice versa? Considering the blind fury he was in Jane doubted he would have even noticed who she was and seemed to have been in a berserking rage. The Maid lightly touched her throat, still covered in faint bruises from the vicious grip Gamzee had seized her with; he certainly hadn't behaved in a rational manner. He was more akin to a feral beast during their fight and Jane had no doubts that if she hadn't of said his name he most likely would've strangled her to death.

Oddly enough, Jane wasn't hurt or offended by his violent reaction. Well, _mentally_ anyway. She could admit she was still a bit bruised and battered but she'd wager Gamzee was also smarting so she guessed it was a fair compromise. But gosh, if she hadn't noticed those three long scars on his face...

Slowly Jane slid her hand down her throat, down her chest and stopping just below her left breast where a small, vertical slice of scar tissue still marred her flesh. She carefully traced the wet scar tissue with the pads of her fingers; the scar was a old souvenir from where the archagent had successfully assassinated her all those years ago. Jane had wondered why she still kept the scar especially after ascending to GodTier had removed any other blemish, from the tiny scar on her big toe she got from a loose nail as a child and the crescent-shaped scar that had been on her inner elbow, a reminded of previous assassination attempt before she'd entered the Game. 

Likewise John still had a heavy scar on his front and back which he said was from his sessions version of the archagent when it has murdered him on his quest bed so long ago; Rose likewise had a stab wound from that murderous creature where she too died at that monster's hand. Jake also had three circular scars on his chest, a bitter reminder of when Jane murdered him with her trident while she was being brainwashed. Even so, all four of their scars were a lot easier to ignore or hide than the jagged, ropey one spanning Dirk's throat, a call back to the horrible moment when he decapitated himself. Rose had speculated that _killing_ blows would leave scarring after ascension, whereas non-lethal cuts and scrapes wouldn't leave any marring. 

With a huff Jane titled her head up and snorted as the water struck her face, the hot fluid momentarily blinding her. Raising her hands she dragged her fingers through her sodden black hair, still thinking. Maybe his scars remained because he never became Godtier? As far as she knew only one of the surviving trolls had been a Godtier and that was apparently the one with the odd fairy-like wings that she briefly saw after her psychotic episode/brainwashing before Sburb reset itself.

 _Well, at least he had his scars or you never would have recognised him,_ Jane reasoned to herself as she started scrubbing at her arms again with the sponge, _Murdering your long-lost boyfriend would've been terrible..._

Jane winced as she moved the sponge down from her shoulder and down her side, the soft material brushing against the magnificent bruise underneath the skin of her ribs. Well, luckily she was pretty darn hardy and Gamzee hadn't splintered her rib cage. She carefully probed at her injury with her Life abilities, ignoring the pangs of fatigue as the blue glow lit up the shower stall. While none of her ribs were broken, there was still some miniscule cracks in the bone. Slowly Jane fixed these small fractures and then sped up the healing of the broken and crushed blood vessels of her bruises, which she likewise did for her purpled knee and the mottled yellow mess of broken red blood cells under the skin of her back.

Jane shifted forward, leaning against the wet wall tiles as she slowly fixed her injuries, a sigh escaping her as the hot water soothed the dull aches and pains. Though she was still tired, she knew that severe bruising could lead to inflammation which could block off blood flow due to a swollen hematoma and Jane knew how potentially dangerous that could become. She doubted her passive healing would let it get that bad but Jane preferred to err on the side of caution when health was concerned, especially in these troubled times.

So she diligently healed her injuries, even ones that she would usually let nature take its course with. The most problems were with her back, where she'd smashed into the building wall and her side where Gamzee had struck her with his club. Her bruised kneecap, throat and wounded ankle were also an issue and Jane slowly fixed them as well, easing down the swelling and encouraging the natural circulation. Her kidneys were also a bit battered but luckily nothing brutal, just some mild bruising and toxic build up that she healed.

By the time Jane was finished healing herself her skin was wrinkled and flushed from the hot water and Jane was feeling faintly light headed- a combination of the heat and steam from the shower and her extensive healing. Hastily Jane slapped some shampoo onto her head and lathed the black stands into a foamy mess. Then she carefully squirted out some body lotion- an odd, citrus variety Jade had gotten her a few months ago that Jane never got around to using- and worked the green gel into her skin, noting with satisfaction the swelling on her injuries had all vanished, as had the worst of the bruising. What was left was a smattering of colourful blotches of blood under her skin, but they'd be gone in a day or so and Jane had already taxed herself with her healing thus far and fainting while naked in the shower covered in citrus gel wasn't particularly something she was eager to do. 

So instead she quickly washed the shampoo from her hair, rolling her shoulders as she did so and enjoying the feeling of hot water hitting her bare back. With reluctance she switched off the shower, knowing that if she stayed any longer she'd turn into a human prune. Wringing her hair out with one hand, she pushed open the shower door with the other and stepped out, shivering slightly as the cold air touched her heated wet skin.

She pulled the towel off the warming rack and started to dry herself off, starting with her sodden hair. As she methodically worked at getting the water from her hair her mind sorted out ideas and theories on just _what_ the heck she was going to do. Ranting and screaming until they listened to her was a no-go, despite a small, rage-filled part of her mind approving of that plan. Leaping head first was also a bad idea; yes Gamzee was alive and she wasn't going to just leave him; god knows how screwed up the Empire had made him. Or maybe he'd joined voluntarily? 

Jane frowned and started toweling her limbs dry. Truthfully she couldn't really remember the whole 'sign up for the Empire' thing trolls did. She's fairly sure the Lalonde's had explained it to her (and Rose had written numerous personal books) before but that was years ago and she was quite fuzzy on the details. She'd even asked Gamzee himself once, back in the Game, yet he had no idea what happened. Frankly, Gamzee seemed to have no idea how troll society as a _whole_ functioned. Apparently he was too 'high on miracles' to really take notice of...well, anything while he was eating that slime stuff. Figured she'd fall for the stoner of the group of murderous extraterrestrials who made their universe.

Snorting, Jane finished drying herself off and threw the towel in the hamper, along with her dirty clothes. She'd need to burn them later, since they were torn and bloodied beyond repair. But right now she needed some food, talk to the rest of her family then preferably have a good nine hours of sleep to help recharge her battery. 

Jane pulled on her spare clothes, just a shirt and trousers and her ever-present necklace. She took a moment to run the pads of her fingers across the purple symbol, tracing the curving lines. For so long she'd assumed that was Gamzee's symbol. It was after all, the one he was always wearing with that ridiculous codpiece outfit. Rose had, after a few months after the end of the Game, told Jane it was actually the symbol of his aspect even though no one had any idea how he'd gotten a hold of a Godtier outfit without ascension. It was the only symbol she'd ever seen him wearing and it never entered her mind that he might actually wear the Capricorn sign as a default, despite the blatant logic. Well, Jane could admit she could be irrational and pigheaded, which likely attributed to her blindness. It had lead to some fairly nasty fights between herself and her family.

The Maid ejected a spare pair of glasses from her sylladex and carefully slid them on, glancing over at the bathroom mirror. She wiped at the condensation on the glass until she saw her blurry reflection; she looked tired and resigned. Jane sighed and ran a hand through her still-damp hair. Well, it could be worse. After a meal and good nights sleep she'd feel a lot better and less like a rat half-shaken to death. Unfortunately sleep would elude her for a while as she still needed to have a charming conversation with the rest of her family.

With that in mind the Maid left the bathroom and tracked her father down in the kitchen. By then, he'd made a light lunch of a salmon sandwich on pumpernickle bread (which he insisted was good protein food and Jane agreed) and had set it at the dining table. The two ate in relative silence, with Jane mostly brooding and occasionally voicing numerous scenarios aloud while her father was calm and supportive. After they finished and Jane was helping her father clean up, he helped her catch up with what the rest of the family was talking about. A lot of it was what Jane had initially assumed; them being doubtful and not taking her word on faith. It hurt, but Jane tried to not let it get to her too much because after all they were right; there was too much risk involved with simply taking her word as truth and despite her conviction she couldn't help but feel a little doubtful herself due the overwhelming disbelief from her family.

However as she heard of the plans to infiltrate the Subjugglator flagship and hack into the Observer she felt panic and was tempted to leave her father with the dirty dishes to go scream at Roxy for suggesting such a harebrained scheme before rationality settled in. As she scrubbed at the plates with soapy water she could understand the reasons why Roxy suggested it, despite how risky it was. The Observer _was_ a potential, incredibly valuable war asset if they managed to reach it. Her. Whatever. Regardless of her own personal stake in this- since locating the Observer would give them all the personal information on the high-rank trolls- but it would also give them insight into how the trolls coordinate themselves, potential information on their weaponry and equipment as well as any information on allies within the Empire itself. 

Jane had learned about the rebellions that had plagued the Empire through Rose (who in turn learned it from some weird dead troll) as the lower rank and less morally screwed-up trolls got fed up with the brutality of the Empress and her lunatic enforcers. Humanity had seen little acts of rebellion in the ranks of the aliens, though most of it was so subtle it often went unseen or dismissed as mistakes/coincidences until they started being suspiciously consistent; a code not correctly implemented, documents not completely sealed, a culling pen of prisoners with a conveniently unblocked ventilation duct in the corner.

So though Jane was loathe to admit it the dangerous task of reaching the Observer was on their to-do list, however the potential death rate always shot it down. But it was now supported by a bitter truth; humanity were constantly on the defensive and they needed an edge and the Observer could give it to them. And Roxy was the one with the highest chance of infiltrating the ship and had the skill-set needed to get the information. Jane finished with the dishes without a word and her father put them back in the drawers and the two were off. Jane didn't bother changing out of her simple shirt and trousers- after all only her family would see her and formal dress wasn't an issue considering Mama Lalonde had once shown up in a pink sparkly catsuit a week ago. 

As they walked down the brightly lit corridors towards conference room Jane told her father what she planned. He was worried and concerned but he, like herself, knew it was the best choice in the infiltration plan after a few moments of thought. Now, all she'd need to do is convince the rest of her family to go along with it.

\-----

Jane and her father entered the conference room but everyone seemed more interested in yelling and flailing at each other than they were at watching the door, the glow of the massive screen casting an odd, flicking orange glow across the room. She swallowed thickly as she recognised Gamzee on the screen alongside the three Priestormentors. The Priests she'd received numerous reports about, including the blind one (who nearly killed Roxy and cause a panic attack in Jane when she heard about it) and the other two whom Jane had healed numerous victims of each. The acid spitter was the worse in Jane's opinion, due to the horrendous damage she could cause to muscle and tissue. She paused as she looked at the picture of Gamzee; she'd seen a few images of the Grand Highblood before but they were usually taken during the night or in darkness when the trolls were typically most active, rendering his scars invisible. She felt briefly light headed before a touch on the shoulder by her father caused her to move forward again, comforted by his familiar presence.

Jane and her father managed to get within ten feet of the table before they were noticed, most of the bickering coming to a halt. She was bombarded by numerous inquiries about her health which she managed to fend off until she got to her seat and sat down, her father settling down next to her with her Uncle on her other side before she addressed them as a whole.

"Look guys, I'm as hale as a horse. Well, I could use a good nights rest but other than that I'm fine," Jane said, glancing at all of them in turn before stopping on Roxy. The Rogue had an grim expression on her face, as if she already knew what Jane was going to do and didn't like it one bit.

"You're planning on launching an operation to get to the Observer, aren't you? Both to get all the valuable information and to kill the communications master of the Empire, isn't that right?" The Maid said, directing her question right at Roxy.

"Yes."

"Then I'll go with you," Jane said shortly, ignoring a few disbelieving looks she received around the table.

"Jane-" Dirk started, but she abruptly cut him off.

"Don't start with me, Dirk. I'm the best choice to go with Roxy and you know it. Everyone already knows this is a risky mission and will require stealth to get near the Observer. Roxy _can_ make other people invisible but only if she is in direct contact with them, which is why we need to have a small team of two, just Roxy and myself. That way she can hide us both as we locate the room the Observer is in. Also, I can help with my own Life senses, which will alert me to any approaching trolls in the vicinity once we do locate the communications hub.

As you have already said, it's immensely dangerous so there's a high chance we'll be gravely injured or even killed during this. I am the only one who can bring back to life Roxy if she is killed; because if anyone else goes with her and you both die I won't be able to reach you within the five minute time limit. And, Like it or not, I am the most durable out of everyone here due to my healing abilities. I would able to take a heck load more damage than any of you, so I'm the best option to guard Roxy as it will take the trolls longer to kill me and if I am killed I'm more likely to be able to resurrect myself.

And if push comes to shove I'll make sure Roxy gets through the rift because when it comes down to it, I'm the more valuable prisoner. If I am caught you can bet your bottom dollar the trolls would either torture me for a few weeks or stage an elaborate, public execution of me, which would give you ample time to stage a rescue."

With that Jane stopped, lips pressed into a thin line. She could tell by the frustrated look on Dirk's face she'd managed to deal with his arguments in one go and justified her decision in accompanying Roxy.

Said Rogue pushed back her chair and stood, facing Jane with her face pinched and worried, "Look Jane, you're right about all of that. And...well yeah, you are the best choice but we're gonna be on the main Subjugglator ship and..." Roxy gestured vaguely towards the screen, where the four trolls were still pictured.

Jane scowled, knowing what Roxy was referring to, "Do you seriously think so less of me, Roxy? Do you think I'll just _abandon_ you on that ship and frolic off to try and find Gamzee?" she snapped, struggling to keep the anger from her voice.

Frustration crossed Roxy's face before she gave a deep sigh, "No. I know you Jane. You won't do that."

"Then it's settled. Tomorrow at three pm we'll launch our operation on the Subjugglator ship and on receiving the information from the Observer. That way we will have sufficient rest and preparation time. Now, I'm going to have a good nights sleep and will meet with Roxy in the Harley's labs tomorrow at quarter to three. Don't wake me up unless this place is swarming with trolls or on fire."

With that Jane stood up, walked back to her rooms and went to bed.

\-----

It was two hours before she had to meet up with Roxy when Jane woke up from her deep sleep, well rested and alert as the alarm buzzed on her bedside table. Slowly she roused herself from the comfortable length of her bed, switched off the alarm and went to the bathroom to get ready. She ended up having a quick shower again, since she figured this operation would wind up leaving her covered in blood and gore at some point and savoured the feeling of being freshly clean. Changing into some sweatpants and shirt she went and made herself a hefty breakfast of scrambled eggs, full bodied mushrooms and whole peeled tomatoes. She worked in silence the whole time, cooking the tomatoes in a hot pan before dishing it out on a plate and frying up the scrambled eggs and mushrooms right after.

After cleaning up the dishes she took her breakfast- well it was closer to lunch -into her living room where the small shire housing her statue of Buddha was. Putting down her plate she carefully picked up three long sticks of incense and lit the tips before placing them in the catchers and lit the wick of oil lamp on the lower shelf. After that, she gave the numerous blooming flowers surrounding the shire a good drink of water before she sat down on the carpet, the plate balanced in her lap. Slowly she ate the hot food, a sense of peace descending upon her.

She knew that peace would be completely shot in a few hours, but she welcomed it all the same even as she welcomed the sweetness of the tomatoes, the grey flesh of the mushrooms and the fluffiness of the eggs. Small things such as decent food really could make or break a mood. Well, usually. Neatly cutting up a mushroom Jane resumed studying the statue before briefly wondering what Buddha would think of an alien invasion and how he would react before dismissing the thought as folly. He lived in a completely different time and she couldn't speculate on his actions without feeling like she was mocking him, almost. So instead she quietly ate the rest of her breakfast, the sweet scent of incense and oil soothing her nerves. 

After nearly twenty minutes of slow, careful eating and contemplation she rose and cleaned her plate before leaving to the bathroom again. There she brushed her hair and cleaned her teeth. She also changed from her casual clothes into a more battle-worthy outfit, hopefully one that would be a bit more durable during a fight. It was simple, with a undershirt depicting her Life symbol with a heavy-duty light hazel military-esque jacket over top and deep brown pants, which were tucked into heavy duty boots with steel toes and thick heels. 

Jane debated on whether or not to have gloves on but after some consideration she decided to forgo them. She preferred a straight up hands on approach, especially with healing which she had no doubt she'd been needing to do a lot of. 

She spent some time studying her hands before activating her healing; instantly the soothing glow swarmed around her, casting a blue aura across the room. A quick scan left Jane satisfied she was completely healing barring a few smattering of bruises which faded even as the glow intensified before Jane shut it off. She stood and stretched, feeling strong and confident.

After that she went to her weaponry room and began to sort through her strife deck. Her customary war fork was there as usual (as Jade had thoughtfully returned the weapon while she slept according to a friendly note the Witch left on the staff) and Jane added three more of the weapons to her deck, another fork-and-spork, a viciously long kitchen prong and a pitchfork. Jane ran her hands over her ejected war fork, touching the green ends as she brooded. If worst came to worst she could always resort to fist-kind. Years of sparring against Roxy had made both of them pretty vicious in close quarters with their fists though Jane was the one who could punch the hardest. Roxy blamed Jane's "manly man-candy genetics" for the Maid's fairly intense strength. Only John was capable of matching her in brute strength and he preferred to fight with his hammers.

By then she'd used up over an hour of her time so she went back into the living room and sat back down again in front of her shrine, the sweet smell of incense comforting her. There, she ejected her computer- noting she also had several spare in her sylladex courtesy of numerous reminders from the Harley's -and went through the hundreds of messages she had. Most were updates, reports or requests, mostly from medical. She approved of some and declined others and got confused over some strange messages, including a weird request for additional cats in a hospital which the minister claimed was for vermin control. After some thought she approved of the request; vermin weren't helpful to have, much less in a hospital and the Lalonde's always had a few hundred cats to spare.

Slogging through all her messages (as well as an annoying amount of spam) took the better part of twenty minutes so after a while she capchalogue her computer and knelt down before the shrine and meditated for a further fifteen minutes until she felt calm and relaxed. Jane knew that sense of peace would go flying right out the window when she and Roxy were stuck on a ship full of psychotic clowns but overall the Maid did feel accepting of anything that would occur.

Eventually she forced herself to stand to avoid being late and shut off the lights in her room. Before she left Jane carefully tucked her ever-present necklace under her shirt.

\-----

When she arrived at the Harley's labs at quarter to three Roxy was already there, sitting on a stool and wearing a lightly armoured jacket and pants with dapple blue camouflage patterns decorating it. Her boots were likewise practical and sturdy. The instant Jane stuck her head into the room Grandma Harley hustled her over next to Roxy and proceeded to lecture the two about how things were going to happen, her wrinkled face stern and serious.

"You'll be teleported on the ship by Jade as soon as we locate it and bypass their shield system; however from basic scans we know it's currently close to the moon which means that Jade _won't_ be able to bring you back once you successfully reach the Observer since the strain could kill her. Once you do have the information, send us the coordinates of your location and we'll use the free-range teleporter and a rift will open close to your area. Now listen carefully; you have _five seconds_ to get in the rift. If you don't reach it you will be stuck there indefinitely. Is that clear?" 

It was completely clear and Jane added that if one of them _did_ get left behind it would be her, since the trolls would no doubt want to torture her for a while or stage an elaborate execution, giving them time for a rescue. Roxy protested at that point but finally had to concede; Jane was, essentially, the ruler of humanity at this point by virtue of her control over Crocker Corp and the fact the world leaders were forced to run by any course of action with the company since it owned pretty much everything by this point. While Jane didn't considering herself as such, since she shared many of her assets with her family, she was regarded as this by the trolls and Roxy reluctantly accepted this but bluntly told her she wasn't happy about it. Well, neither was Jane.

By the time it was ten to three, all of her family had congregated in the lab. Most of them expressed concern and anxiety while fussing over her and Roxy like a flock of pigeons. John in particular was immensely unhappy and Jane had to make him swear not to lose it if they did, in fact, die. While no one really wanted to hear it both the elder Harley's accepted it the quickest at the potential fallout that would follow. While Jane and Roxy would try their best not to get killed, there was a chance it would happen and her family needed to prepare.

But then it was time and Jane and Roxy got smothered in hugs and kisses along side various wished of good luck and the Maid tried to ignore how worried everyone was, especially her father who was gripping his hat so tightly he'd crushed it between his hands. They'd encountered some life threatening situations before, but everyone had been close at hand for these situations. Now the two had the potential to be trapped with a pack of homicidal aliens with an uncertain means of escape and a high chance of agonizing death and corpse desecration. But it had to be done if they wanted to get any leverage in this war.

So Jane and Roxy eventually stood together in the middle of the lab, with the Rogue keeping a firm grip on the Maid's wrist. Across from them stood a grim-looking Jade, white ears flat against her hair, while Dirk was hunched over a computer, tapping at the keyboard and mouth pressed into a thin line. Jane felt as if her stomach was trying to turn itself into knots and she struggled to keep her face calm.

Then it happened; in the span of a few seconds Dirk activate the code, said the coordinates and Jade promptly bracketed the two between her fingers then with a swirl of vertigo the Witch teleported them from planet earth onto the Subjugglator flagship in its lazy orbit around the moon.

\-----

It was dark and dank and the thick coppery smell of blood flooded Jane's nostrils as the two were zapped into a storage closet on the ship, the bright green glow briefly illuminating the jagged machinery in the room before fading.

Confused, the Maid blinked rapidly and shook her head, trying to adjust her vision to the small dark area she and Roxy were suddenly standing in. Jane quickly glanced around but relaxed when she realised it was just her and Roxy in the room. The dull hum of engines and distant machinery filled her ears, along with the occasional faint snippet of screams or honking laughter. Roxy's fingers dug into Jane's wrist before a wave of cold washed over her as Roxy activated her invisibility and tangibility.

"You okay?" Roxy asked, her voice a mere whisper as she glanced up at Jane, eyes wide. Jane was experienced a brief sense of bemusement at see Roxy's transparent body, knowing that to anyone else they weren't visible and if Roxy released her Jane would likewise not be able to see her. The Rogue's fingers tightened her fingers on Jane's wrist and her brow furrowed and the Maid hastened to respond.

"I'm fine. Where are we? I don't see any half mechanical troll in here."

"We're in a small storage room," Roxy said quietly, gesturing at the walls covered in rusted weaponry and weird miscellaneous machinery, "We figured it'd be safer then just zapping right in the Observer's room 'cause for all we know they sleep in there or something. This way we can get our bearings before everything goes to shit."

"Alright then," Jane said, trying to sound calm, "How far are we from the Observer?"

With her spare hand Roxy pulled a small computer from her pocket, saying, "It's down the corridor, we take a left then find the giant-ass door with a particular symbol on it _then_ we're in. Can you tell if there's anyone in the area around here? So we don't like, die the instant we go outside this grungy room."

Jane shrugged then closed her eyes, carefully probing out with her Life sense. She did it timidly, trying not to alert any of the Subjugglators to her presence; hopefully they'd be used to a constant rub of other psychics due to living in close proximity to one another for decades. However by doing it so lightly she wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a tiny mouse and a troll. However as far as she could tell the area around them was devoid of any life forms.

"We're all clear," Jane said, keeping her voice low, "lead the way."

"Right, hopefully we don't fuck up too badly. And remember, they can still hear and smell us though the sheer reek of blood of this place could help mask it," Roxy muttered, wrinkling her nose before tugging Jane from the room.

Together they stepped through the solid door, walking out into a wide, dimly-lit corridor like ghosts. The walls would've been an ugly uniform grey if it wasn't for the atrocious amount of blood splattered all over the walls, mostly in smeared blood prints like some psychotic child's demented game of finger paint. Wrinkling her nose, Jane was grateful that long hours working in Hospitals had managed to curb her squeamishness about blood and gore otherwise she would've most likely gagged as the reek of rotten flesh and blood got stronger as Jane allowed Roxy to lead her down the hall. The two women were trying to be as quiet as possible as they walked along the steel floor, nearly slipping several times on the gore and wet blood also decorating the floor. Jane gave a brief thought of thanks for wearing such thick boots for the occasion.

They carefully made their way down the corridor even as Jane felt the few exposed parts of her skin break out in goosebumps as the cold air licked at her skin. She guessed it was the low body temperatures of the clowns that allowed them to tolerate the almost freezing air. They reached the fork at the end without incident where there was four doors decorated in purple smiley clown faces. Stopping, Roxy glanced up at Jane and the Maid ignored the lump in her throat and reached out with her senses; this time she could feel a few Life pulses, including one that was darting around all over the place like a panicked gazelle at the very edge of her senses, but nothing close. She gave Roxy a brisk nod and the Rogue pulled her forward through the left door, Jane shivering at the bizarre sensation of passing through thick metal like a ghost.

Luckily enough the two didn't encounter any trolls on the way to the Observer's quarters. If anything the lack of trolls made them even more paranoid and flighty, with Jane constantly glancing behind her as if expecting a Subjugglator to come flying out of the shadows at them like a space version of Pennywise. Jane was sure the Subjugglator would've posted at least one set of guards of patrols around such a valuable asset but as they continued to trespass through the ship Jane began to guess that the highblood trolls were arrogant enough to believe no one would dare try and get to the Observer or they would dismiss all alien species they encountered as worthless and wouldn't be able to do such a thing.

Jane was torn between feeling grateful for the lack of trolls and disappointed that she hadn't seen any. Though she knew it was irrational, Jane had been hoping that she might find Gamzee wandering around. From what Rose had told her all those years ago Gamzee had been an extensive lurker and hid most of the times in vents and shadowed corridors. Though the Maid was unsure how he would react, she _knew_ he had, at least recognized her. Judging from how he had quickly released her she was of the opinion he wouldn't have attacked if he knew who she was initially.

 _Well, if he does meet me again at least I'm pretty sure he won't try to wring my head off from the get go,_ Jane thought darkly even as Roxy's fingernails dug into the Maid's wrist and the two came to a halt in front of a gigantic, two-door archway, with Roxy pulling out her computer and glancing down at it and up towards the archway. 

The doors were massive and Jane was relieved that they could just walk through the darn thing via Roxy's powers since even Jane was unsure if she could pry it open on her own. Both door panels were oddly blank, being mostly devoid of blood like the rest of the walls apart from numerous purple hand prints. These had a much more controlled pattern compared with the sporadic bloody marks in the hallways and in middle of the doors were two thick horizontal stripes; they extended from the sides of the doors and, a few feet from the center of the doors they turned into long vertical lines. Unlike the purple handprints, the strange pattern was a mustard yellow.

Thin lines of jagged Alternian were etched into the metal along the bottom of the doors in black but Jane wasn't too sure what they meant. Unlike Dirk and Roxy Jane hadn't be brought up in an Alternian-controlled world and wasn't fluent in reading the script. However Roxy didn't seem too concerned about the text and, after studying it for a few moments, she stepped through, pulling Jane along behind her.

"Here we are, the lair of the Observer," She heard Roxy mutter as the two stepped through the thick steel door as if it wasn't there. The room inside was vast, reminding Jane of a massive town hall with ceilings over thirty meters high and being over a hundred meters in length. Most of the walls were a dark steel as were the floors which were splattered liberally with all the colours of the hemospectrum. Littering the walls were hundreds of troll skulls with candles infused to the tips of their ancient horns, the small flames casting an eerie flicking light across the room. 

And there, at the far end wall was a massive consolidation of purple tentacles and within the center was a splash of yellow and black. The Observer.

Roxy swore under her breath as she glanced around the empty before tentatively walking forward, Jane following close behind her. 

"We're alone in here," Jane suddenly spoke, feeling Roxy's fingers clench onto her wrist in surprise, "The only life force close to us is...that thing down there. There's no need to exert yourself anymore," she finished gently, carefully touching Roxy's hand with her free one. The Rogue halted and looked back at Jane, her pink eyes worried and dark lips pinched but she nonetheless nodded and released her hold on Jane, both becoming tangible and solid once again.

"Well, if you're sure," Roxy muttered, trying to smile, "Just make sure I don't get my sexy ass ganked while I'm doing this, okay?"

"Don't worry Roxy," Jane laid a hand on Roxy's shoulder, "No matter what happens, just do what you have to do; no matter what you hear or what happens to me, you just get the information. I'll guard you and keep you as safe as houses."

"Right, let's do this shit," The Rogue nodded once to herself before hurry forward towards the twisted, tentacled mass of the far wall with Jane following her at a slower pace.

Jane carefully eyed the room, studying the area in case there was any other doorways and entrances; after a long observation she was satisfied to know that there was no other entrance into the room aside from the main doors. Well, at least she didn't have to worry about getting blindsided when they were inevitably attacked. As she hurried after Roxy she also scanned the walls, probing out with her Life sense again just to be doubly sure; but as before she, Roxy and the Observer were the only living creatures inside the giant room. Her boots thumped rhythmically against the hard steel floor as she walked and Jane glanced at the ground with a critical eye; being smacked over onto this floor would hurt and, as she got closer to the tentacle-laden end wall, water was forming sporadic puddles on the ground.

 _Oh this is just swell. If there is a fight I'll probably fall on my ass due to all this water..._ Jane thought irritably. The water also had the added bonus of making the blood on the floor fluid again. Faint and diluted but Jane didn't relish the thought of falling over only to be covered in blood. Jane wrinkled her nose in distaste before glancing over at the walls and faltered in her steps, eyes wide behind her glasses.

The walls, unlike the floors which were just a dull grey, were actually decorated with massive portraits of Subjugglators, the works of art being twenty feet tall. Jane had initially dismissed them as just more random blood splatters but as she glanced around she noted there was over fifty scattered across the grey walls of the room, bright and controlled compared with the grey walls before and careless splatters of blood on the floor. Each painting had been done with excellent skill and care, depth and exquisite detail adorning each painting, with small lines of the jagged, Alternian language written in purple as a footnote on shiny gold plaques beneath each one. There was a morbid, controlled beauty in the images on the walls that she couldn't help but admire even though Jane knew they had been painted in blood.

What really caught Jane's attention was that several of the portraits depicted Subjugglators with massive, butterfly-like wings. Intrigued, Jane slowed down slightly to study the winged image closest to her; the troll was wearing ornate robes various purple, with massive horns that spiraled up from its thick curly hair like a pair of knotted tree branches. The wings themselves were massive with sharp edges adorned in purple spirals. On the either side of the upper membranes were patterns that resembled disturbingly life-like eyes, complete with a splotch of white as a light reflection in the middle. They were exceedingly creepy and Jane averted her eyes away from the insidious stare of the wings as she looked away and made the last few yards to where Roxy was standing before the tendril wall.

Jane swallowed hard against the taste of bile as she approached the tall, scrawny troll fused to the wall. The entire end wall was covered in thick fleshy tentacles, with so many wrapped around the troll they covered its entire lower body and arms, with thinner ones imbedded into its skull and growing along its horns like insidious vines. The purple tendrils were stark against the mustard-yellow body suit the troll was wearing. The horns reminded Jane of two long spears, the long lines bending in a half-circle in the middle though unlike other troll horns she'd seen they were dull and the oranges were a lot more muted, as if the vibrancy had been sucked out of them.

"Shit, this is so fucked up, fuck that stupid water bitch," Roxy said, voice shaking slightly as she looked up at the suspended troll. Jane made a low noise of agreement, grimacing as her boots squelched on the fleshy ropes. The ground was surprisingly firm; Jane had expected the tentacles to be slippery and velvet soft like the octopus arms she'd once curiously poked at as a child while at a petting pool with her father. Instead they were dense and weirdly rough, as if they were a disturbing blend of organic materials and thick sturdy piping.

The troll strung up on the wall was skinny to the point of emancipation; all the muscle and fat had vanished, leaving behind a sack of bones, organs and loose flesh; the purple tendrils completely enveloped the troll from the waist down and the upper forearms. The hair was short and scraggly, framing a gaunt face. The troll's eyes were shut and as Jane leaved closer she could see faint yellow stains around the lids and on the hollow cheek bones. Jane swallowed her revolution even as pity settled in her gut; such a horrible existence, to be reduced to mere _equipment._

Judging from Roxy's continued muttered snarls she was of the same opinion. The Rogue was carefully touching the heavy-duty computer to the right of the suspended troll, grimacing as she touched a fleshy-looking keyboard and occasionally looking up at the comatose alien, expression tight and angry.

Carefully leaning forward Jane reached out with her powers, wrapping them around the Observer's defeated form; Even to her Life senses the troll was more dead than alive with the majority of its body devoured by the weird, organic machinery of the tentacles which had eaten away most of its organs and muscle. As she deepened her scan she was disgusted to find its hands and feet had been cut off. The Life pulse of the troll was so feeble and weak Jane knew instinctively that if it wasn't for those abominable tendrils and outside influence the troll would've died centuries ago. She was tempted to snuff out the glow of Life- Jane severely doubted the troll would fight her -but resisted the temptation. They needed the information the Observer held. Then she could put the poor thing out of its misery. 

No, no, the Observer wasn't an it. _She. Her._ Jane couldn't save her but she could at least give the Observer the basic dignity of being addressed as a _person_ , not some fucked up, unthinking, unfeeling communication device.

A soft _click_ caught Jane's attention and she looked over at Roxy and saw her plugging in a small storage drive, a red light flashing. The Rogue squinted at the screen, lower lip caught between her teeth as her fingers clacked on the keys. Before Jane, the Observer twitched, eyelids fluttering and her bloodless lips parted slightly and the Maid carefully backed away from her. 

"I'm in." Roxy said, grinning broadly as she studied the glowing screen. Again the Observer moved, thin nostrils flaring and Roxy cast the yellowblood a sympathetic look before saying, "Don't worry babe, we'll set you free of this fucked-up nightmare once we're done here. Just bare with us for a lil' longer. Jane, get ready; I've haven't detected any alerts sent out through her but they'll probably throw a shit in a few minutes."

"Alright. And remember Roxy- no matter what happens to me, you get that information first," Jane said sternly, glancing over at the Rogue.

"Sure thing, doctor Janey. And remember- you need to kill the Observer once we're done, that we we know for _certain_ that she isn't going to be fixed. You can just snuff out her life." "I know. Tell me when you're finished." "Try not to die." 

Jane nodded, a snort escaping her at Roxy's deliberate attempt at dark humour before she ejected her long battle staff from her strife deck. A twist of her hands the green spatula end transformed into a lethal four-pronged fork and the spoon end morphed into a razor-sharp edged spork. Giving the weapon a twirl, Jane nodded to herself before she jogged towards the entrance until she was in the middle of the room where she slowed to a halt. Now, she had a sufficient fighting area and the hall was wide enough to easily accommodate her weapon and if worst came to worst she always had her fists or backup weapons.

Shifting slightly from foot to foot Jane felt anxious and jittery from nerves at the potential life and death scenario. They had been immensely lucky thus far but luck against psychotic space aliens only went so far. Her hands were gripping the brown staff of her weapon tight and Jane considered using her sense to scout out any Life, regardless of the fact it could blow their cover.

Even as Jane thought that the massive door burst open and a gangly, robe-clad Subjugglator ran into the room.

Or, to put it more accurately one of the High Priestormentors stepped into the room; eyeless, wild haired, with a long, serpentine tongue flicking out between black lips.

Jane swore under her breath, tightening her grip on her staff. Oh well, she knew they'd lucked out in finding the Observer's room without being mauled along the way. Now all she needed to do was defend Roxy until it was time to get the hell out of dodge.

Barely a second ticked past as the blind troll absorbed the situation and trespass; then, with a ear-splitting _HONK_ , he bounded across the massive room towards the Maid, equipping a long, spiked club-staff as he did so without even faltering in his steps.

Jane didn't wait for him to reach her first; she flash-stepped forward, blurring across the steel floor so quickly she disappeared temporarily. She and the Priestormentor met in the middle, the fork of her staff colliding with the troll-horn spiked club of his. He swept out a long leg and Jane jumped over it, spinning her staff back. The troll feinted to the side and stabbed out with a clawed hand aimed for her eyes; Jane promptly dodged to the side, seized his skinny wrist and threw him as hard as she could at the wall.

The Priestormentor twisted midair, landing on his feet with weapon still in hand. Jane scowled but it was to be expected; this was one of the head honchos after all. The troll straighten back up; at eight feet he wasn't the biggest troll she'd met but he was still head and shoulders over her. He cocked his head to the side, snake-tongue licking at the air, before he suddenly flash-stepped away from her. 

Jane instantly followed to prevent him for getting near Roxy; She managed to snag a handful of his thick, waist length hair mid-step but apparently he'd been bargaining on her going for the obvious handle. The troll twisted, snake quick and two rows of long teeth were sunk gum-deep into her shoulder and her arm was nearly yanked from its socket. With a yelp of pain Jane let go of his hair and slammed the tines of her weapon into the alien's skull; his thick bones prevented her from penetrating into his brain but the left-most spike rammed into the sensitive skin of his horn bed.

Immediately he released her, snarling incoherently, teeth stained red. Jane wrenched her weapon free with her uninjured arm and jumped backwards, healing blue light swarming over her bloodied collarbone and shoulder and knitting torn flesh back together. The blind troll's eyebrows perked up in obvious interest and his snake tongue was flicking in overdrive. Then he hunched down slightly, empty eye sockets staring at nothing before he suddenly ejected two long daggers of troll horn from his strife deck and flicked them at her with his spare hand with an almost careless throw.

Instinctively she parried, knocking the darts aside and suddenly the troll was leaping up and swinging the spiked club at her head. 

The Priestormentor had the advantage of bulk but Jane was smaller, more nimble and she was his equal in strength despite their size difference; she blocked the club with the length of her staff, grunting as she was forced back a step by his momentum. This close she could see the large white mask of his facepaint, the strange, tear-like streaks running from his empty eye sockets and down to his narrow chin. His long, purple-tinted tongue flickered out between bloodstained lips and Jane held onto her staff one-handed and struck out at it with her left hand, wanting to rip it right out of his mouth. He flinched back and her fingers missed and the tips struck his glasses instead, sending them flying right off his head and into the air.

To her surprise the Priestormentor didn't attempt to bite her hand off; instead he backflipped, neatly tumbling through the air and landing on his feet. He tipped his head back and his glasses landed perfectly back on his face from where he was crouched on the ground.

Jane's eyebrows shot up, impressed despite herself, "Sweet catch."

The troll grinned at her, showing two rows of crimson-stained teeth before he suddenly bolted straight at her; Jane instinctively flinched back, bringing her staff up to block any attacks. It wasn't until he sprang right over her head with sleek lupine grace did she realize he wasn't trying to attack her, instead he was going right for Roxy and just hurdle jumped the Maid to do so.

Jane spun around, eyes wide with panic. Rather than chasing right after him she dropped her staff and ejected her pitchfork from her strife deck and flung it right after the Priestormentor. To her frustration he skidded to a stop, pivoted and smacked away the crimson weapon with his own club. Jane barely hesitated before snatching up her discarded fork-and-spork weapon and flash-stepping up next to him, deliberately stabbing towards his front to try and shepard him away from Roxy.

Growling the troll kicked her viciously in the gut, sending her stumbling backwards and winding her. Wheezing Jane retaliated by stabbing him in the arm with her spork, the edges sinking into black skin and causing purple blood to spit forth from the puncture wounds. The frustration on the blind Priestormentor's face deepened as Jane continually thwarted his attempts to edge around her again and get to Roxy. With an enraged honk he gave up trying to avoid her and once again attacked her directly.

Hopping back, Jane blocked a blow from his staff and rolled to the side to avoid a set of fangs to the face. However as she jumped back up he stabbed at her with the knifed tip of his staff; Jane blocked again but this time the Priestormentor parried her, the blow knocking one of her hands from her weapon and causing the other to over-reach, muscles burning. Like lightning the troll twirled his staff around and smashed the spiked end of his weapon onto her wrist, on the one gripping her war fork.

Instantly Jane dropped her weapon as her hand went completely numb with icy needles stabbing her forearm and she knew instinctively he had broken her wrist. Without hesitation she poured a thick burst of her healing energies into the broken bones, healing the injury almost instantly. As she glared at the troll she noted his tongue was going crazy again, ears perked.

Jane didn't bother waiting for him to get over his fascination; with a _crack_ of air she pushed herself forward with all her strength, launching herself right up next to the Priestormentor and throwing a punch at him with all her strength behind it. His dodge was a second too slow and her fist struck his breastbone, smacking him backwards onto the floor.

The troll rolled back up to his feet, ignoring his bleeding shoulder as he twirled his long staff around and stabbed at her with the spiked tip. Jane seized the end with her bare hands, ignoring the jolt of pain that rippled up her arms from the momentum and yanked hard at the weapon. The troll snarled angrily as he was nearly pulled off his feet before lunging forward and snapping at her with sharp teeth. Jane instantly released the weapon and flash-stepped around him and promptly threw herself up onto his back, seizing his long, arched horns in either hand.

Then she hung on; the troll snarled and yelped and twisted, trying to claw her from his back. Instead she braced her knees against him knobby spine and yanked on his horns as hard as she could, bending his back into a deep arch. Jane winced as the Priestormentor's screeches got louder, the high shrill notes stabbing her ear drums. Then Jane felt her muscles seized up and she felt _something_ scuttling up her arms and stabbing pain began to radiate from her chest.

She let go of his long horns, landing on her feet and stumbling backwards as cold sweat began to slide down her back as she ran back an snatched up her discarded staff in shaking hands. The troll twisted around and lunged at her with a vicious snarl, his eyeless face suddenly nightmarish. In panic Jane struggled to keep her grip on her weapon, her hands clammy. However she forced herself forward and attacked the troll, however fright was slowing her down and making her sluggish. He blocked her punch almost carelessly and then rammed his sharp claws into her gut. Her thick jacket blocked the worst of it but the tips of his claws sank into the soft flesh of her stomach. Cursing Jane flung herself away from him and landing with a painful smack on the ground.

It was only when she healed her gut injury did Jane suddenly have a burst of clarity due to the healing, chasing the sharp needles of panic from her mind and limbs. Her breath hitching Jane quickly rolled to the side, just as the Priestormentor landed with a crash in the place she'd just been. Jumping back up Jane snarled, angry at not noticing he'd been using his chucklevoodoo's on her. Well, his lack of glowing eyeballs made it hard to tell but still.

Jane ignored the twisting shadows in the corner of her eyes and the fright still squirming in her gut. Instead she turned and kicked the troll as hard as she could in the side with her steel-capped boot, aiming for his grubscars. Judging by the irate screech he let out she'd been fairly accurate. The troll stumbled backwards, hissing and rubbing at his side with a thin hand and Jane seized the opportunity to flash-step back and snatch up her discarded staff. She was about to leap at the blind troll when Jane was suddenly aware of another heavy pulse of Life entering the room and she barely had time to twist and block as the heavy-set female Priestormentor came sprinting through the massive doors and attacked her. 

Cursing Jane hopped backwards, dislodging the claws of the new comer and knocking her backwards; the blind one was still half-hopping from foot to foot, rubbing his injured side while the female was hunkered before her, fangs bared in a vicious grin, the thick purple wattle under her chin pulsating grossly in the dim lighting. Great, the poison spitter.

Carefully the Maid stepped backwards, tightening her grip on her weapon as her eyes flicked between the two trolls; by now the female troll has equipped her massive spear, the lethal tip nearly trailing along the bloodied floor as she crept closer. Jane grunted slightly before standing up and straightening her spine before glaring between the two Priestormentors. She tipped her head up and inhaled deeply, eyes narrowed and discarded her fear of these two monsters, fear of her own mortality and instead focused on her main, simple objective; defending Roxy.

As she embraced the thought the last few panicked coils of the blind troll's chucklevoodoo's vanished from her mind and she took a brief moment of satisfaction at the angered frustration that crossed the eyeless Subjugglator's face. He wouldn't be able to fear monger _her_ into submission.

Then the two Priestormentors attacked.

Jane braced herself and blocked, instantly on the defensive. While she had been confident at fighting one of the Priestormentors on equal footing she knew she couldn't win against two of the toughest trolls in the Empire on her own. But that didn't matter; she didn't need to win, she just needed to stall them and she would darn well do it.

However as the two drove her towards the middle of the room Jane began to gain more and more injuries, including a broken set of toes, three vicious stabs in the side courtesy of the female's spear and Jane knew she was bleeding internally at this point from the harsh smacks of the club. The two trolls gave her no pause to heal her injuries, instead lashing at her constantly and inflicting even more wounds on her when she attempted to slow down.

 _Alright fine, let's get the big guns,_ Jane thought, determined; a second before she let out a shriek of pain as a spiked club struck her hard in the head, nearly knocking her glasses off and just shy of cracking open her skull. Jane reeled backed as her vision flickered back, dazed from the vicious strike. Then Jane activated her Life abilities. 

However unlike before Jane didn't bother switching off her powers even after healing all her injuries. She kept the brilliant blue glow wrapped around her like a living nest of bright tendrils even as she jumped forward on her just-healed foot and with a snarl she promptly punched the female troll so hard in the face she managed to break the Priestormentor's nose with a meaty crack, knocking the female away from her. 

Now Jane hurled herself straight at the Priestormentors, heedless of any damage the trolls could inflict. In this state she healed nearly instantly but she knew she'd black out in a few minutes from exhaustion. Oh well, that's all she needed; she just needed to stall them long enough for Roxy to get what she needed.

The fight was brutal and vicious. While the trolls weren't capable of healing themselves like Jane was they were still immensely tough, with the female ignoring the fork-stab in the gut and the blind one uncaring of the broken arm she inflicted on him. Adrenaline rushed through Jane's veins as she lunged at the female and grabbed one of her long S shaped horns with a hand and ramming her staff into the troll's side with her other hand.

With a silent snarl the female twisted around and smashed an elbow into Jane's temple, dropping the Maid like a sack of grain and causing Jane to inadvertently let go of her staff. Ignoring this and her instantaneously healing head wound Jane twisted and slammed the toe of her boot into the back of the clown's knee, knocking her down. Jane then ducked as the spike club of the blind Priestormentor lashed into the space her face had just been.

Jane flash-stepped up to the blind clown and punched him in the gut, with knuckles breaking from the force; he stumbled but didn't falter, instead clawing at her with long nails and slicing open thick gashes on her chest that knitted back up even before they could spit blood. Jane reached up and grabbed his hand and heaved with all her strength, flinging him at the female as the mute got back up to feet, knocking the two over.

In her hyper aware state Jane easily moved and seized a hold of the huge bell that came hurtling towards her head via the final Priestormentor who'd slunk into the room and had proceeded to quietly circle around her back in an attempt to blindside her. However Jane had been aware of the newcomers gleam Life the instant the alien came within range and was ready for the deaf Priestormentor.

The troll's face twisted into surprise as she blocked them, their purple eyes narrowing amidst the white facepaint. Jane forced all her strength into a powerful shove but the clown skipped backwards and tore the bell from her grasp. By then, the two other Priestormentors were back on their feet and promptly joined their companion against her.

Now the fight was completely one sided; if it wasn't for Jane cranking her healing abilities to the max she would've died at least four times as they steadily drove her backwards towards the wall where Roxy and the Observer was. Cursing under her breath Jane ignore the spear that punctured her liver and dealt out a bone-breaking punch to the bell-wielding Priestormentor's ribcage, grinning viciously as the clown yelped and staggered backwards.

Ignoring the purple and red blood steadily splattering her Jane deliberately let the blind clown sink his claws into her side; Jane then seized his arm, her own fingers ripping into the previous injury she'd torn open with her fork. Honking angrily the blind troll snapped at her face even as the other two pounced at her, forcing Jane to back up even more to avoid getting swarmed by the psychotic aliens. Though she was outnumbered and being slowly driven backwards she was able to bog them down and her near-instantaneous healing was proving to be a real obstacle for the three. Each time one attempted to break away from the fight and attack Roxy Jane would fling herself into their path, heedless of her own well being. She was surviving by the skin of her teeth. 

Then the female twisted, gagged and spat out a stream of purple fluid from her mouth which stuck Jane on the right arm. Jane flinched and even through her constant healing she could feel the horrific pain of her flesh being eaten by the corrosive liquid as it seared right through her jacket arm, the agony causing her to go reeling backwards with a scream. With immense force of will Jane let out a massive burst of her Life abilities and her melting flesh instantly flowed back together, the brilliant light causing the two Priestormentors with eyes to flinch backwards, their pupils shrinking. With a gasp of exhaustion Jane released her abilities, nearly collapsing to her knees as fatigue suddenly flooded her limbs ice-cold and made her light headed. 

The blind one had no such eye liability and sprang forward the instant Jane faltered, dagger-end of his spear aimed at her head. Before he could strike a massive BOOM crashed through the air and a cluster of molted bullets struck his armoured chest and flung him backwards onto the floor.

Jane whipped around just as Roxy went storming past her, brandishing a massive-snouted shotgun and a ferocious expression. Cocking the weapon the Rogue shouted, "Quick Jane, kill the Observer!"

The Maid didn't need to be told twice; forcing her weak legs to move she spun and ran to hanging frame of the yellowblooded troll. The mute Priestormentor tried to spit out another mouthful of acid at her but was had to leap backwards to avoid a blast of molten metal to the face courtesy of Roxy who sprang between the Maid and the three clowns. Jane nearly ran into the Observer and she quickly placed a hand on the near-dead troll's chest. Ignoring her cold aching limbs Jane forced out her Life abilities despite the stab of pain in her head. Jane reached out to the Observer's Life force, weak and fluttering and without preamble she snuffed it out, like one would with a dying candle.

Instantly massive sirens began to scream through the air even as the Observer slumped, dying without a fight. Jane pulled away, disorientated and confused before she felt Roxy's hand yanking her to the side to avoid a spear in the gut. Cursing, Roxy shot the female Priestormentor in the thigh, the burning pellets eating at the thick skin. Anger gave Jane a temporary boost and she sprang forward in a flying kick to the chest at the blind troll to cover Roxy as the blond woman darted back towards the computer.

The Rogue quickly yanked the glowing stick from the console with a triumph shout Jane could hear over the sirens. Jane was about to jump up next to her when a long nailed hand seized the collar of Jane's jacket and threw her backwards ten feet where she landed with a hard crack on the ground, smacking her head painfully on the steel floor. She staggered back up to her feet, dazed even as Roxy yelled angrily and the Rogue flash-stepped forward, smashing the butt of her gun into the deaf Priestormentor's face, knocking them backwards.

A low thrumming sounded through the air, getting all five of their attentions. A glowing nimbus crackled with green lighting and pulses suddenly split the air nearly ten feet away, with the female Priestormentor standing between it and the two humans. Jane saw Roxy look towards the rift, then the Rogue turned back, her expression closed and Jane felt her gut clench as she realized Roxy wouldn't leave without her.

One second.

Jane wouldn't let that happen. She would save Roxy whether she wanted it or not. Jane moved; she clamped on hand on the nape of Roxy's neck and the other seized the Rogue's belt, ignoring the short exclamation of surprise from the blonde.

Two seconds.

With a heave Jane hurled Roxy right at the pulsing vortex like a sack of flour and the Lalonde went sailing through the air right over the venom-spitter's head, shrieking, before she vanished into the flashing nimbus a blast of green.

Three seconds. 

The female Priestormentor lunged straight after Roxy, barging forward with a snarl fixed to her face. Jane didn't know if she was going after Roxy or simply trying to figure out where the portal went but Jane wouldn't allow either. Flash-stepping forward she seized the troll's skinny ankle as she ran forward; with a violent tug she yanked the troll right off her feet and causing her to crash face-first into the blood-splattered floor.

Four seconds.

Jane ran, lunging for the green rift; the blind Priestormentor attacked her first, lashing out with the spiked end of his staff and forcing Jane to fling herself to the side to avoid having her gut sliced open.

Five seconds.

With a high pitched whine and a crack of lightning the rift abruptly vanished. Jane stared at the suddenly bare spot of floor, mind frozen and body unresponsive with an arm outstretched as she just stopped. Then a massive bell struck her in the temple with incredible force, smacking her into unconsciousness.

Six seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did this chapter get so massive lmao I didn't plan for this.
> 
> Roxy has her own little titles for the Alpha/Beta guardians, which is why she usually addresses Beta Dave as 'mini Dave' and his counterpart as Dave Alpha 'cause she finds it funny XD. Jane constantly calls Alpha Dave Mister Strider because when she was younger she saw lots of interviews and read articles about him- same with calling Alpha Rose Miss Lalonde. It's kinda like an old joke/force of habit.
> 
> I figured you could use Psionics to be more than just engines- in the Observer's case, she is used as a massive transmitter/receiver. She's used by the Subjugglators to spy on all alien transmissions and also used to hunt down traitors to the Empire, since her Psionics relied far more on precision, than brute strength like Mituna did (which made him an ideal Helmsman since he could boot out a shitload of power) so she's far more sensitive with her transmissions and observations. She's also incredibly adapt at hacking through firewalls, since she goes for loopholes and tiny weak points, rather than just trying to bull her way in due to her keen senses. She was put on the Subjugglator flagship since it was considered one of the safest places for her to be. 'Cause who the fuck would willing go onto that ship lol
> 
> The Observer's original name is Compes Lector and her symbol is -| |- which was also on the main doorway.
> 
> Like the Helmsman, most of her brain has been turned into mush from all the tentacles fused in her head, so Jane was right in saying she was more dead than alive. Only scant aspects of her original consciousness and personality remain while most of it has turned into machine and code. I Must Scream, indeed.
> 
> Three Priestormentors- AKA The Bloodied Priesthood. (woohoo, 8)
> 
> Since Subjugglators are devout and they live in an Asskicking Equals Authority society their priests would be some of the toughest fuckers in the Circus. They are directly behind the Grand Highblood in terms of authority in the Purple Caste. Each priest gladly sacrificed one of their main sense to better understand their Messiahs. Other castes debate about how this helps, but anyone who voices this aloud ends up a stain on the wall more often than not.
> 
> Have some shitty art from yours truly so you get what they look like- http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/97798607968/did-some-art-for-the-ocs-that-show-up-in-my
> 
> Lol shoddy art.
> 
> With Jade's teleportation, she's able to do that in the Game 'cause of the Green Sun since it was a First Guardian power. It doesn't exist anymore, so she finds teleportation far more difficult. Likewise, she was unable to shrink/resize things at first because she was having difficulty using her powers since she used the Green Sun and her Space abilities in unison. Now she had to do it just relying on her Aspect and the lack of Sun was confusing for her for a while. After she finally figured it out, the shrinking/resizing was far easier for her to achieve since it never depended on her First Guardian abilities; she just mix-and-mashed them together while in the Game, so she kinda had to relearn all her tricks.
> 
> She can still teleport- It's just easier for her to do if she's on the same 'space' i.e Earth is still in it's own sphere/atmosphere of space, so it's a lot easier for her to teleport around on Earth, however doing it excessively can exhaust her easily. In terms of the Ship, it's location was near the moon, outside of Earth's atmosphere and space so it was a shitload harder for her to teleport the two of them to the ship. It also jumped further back, closer to Mars, when the trolls were aware someone teleported on board. And after they caught Jane it jumped even further out of range and scrambled their frequencies, to prevent anyone else locking on.


	9. Snoop

The last time Jade had felt even half this unhappy and miserable was the time a hurricane had destroyed her home on Hellmurder Island and ruined most of her gardens. This time though, Jade felt as if ice was constantly clawing at her limbs and her breaths were short and shallow.

Ever since Jane's abrupt, almost clinical announcement earlier Jade had spent a few more hours hashing out their plan with Dirk and her older self, ignoring her barely concealed panic and distaste over the entire plan, instead forcing herself to remain cold and unfeeling as she discussed the situation.

Though Jade was, by default, against the idea of infiltrating the Subjugglator flagship due the mortal peril it would put Roxy and Jane in, she was forced to grudgingly admit the information and Intel the Observer could provide would be utterly invaluable to their war effect. Because Rose was right -well the older one anyway, her Rose was just as worried and apprehensive about the plan as the Witch- humanity was hanging on by the skin of their teeth and they _needed_ an edge if they were going to retaliate effectively or risk being beaten down by the Alternian Empire.

Eventually Rose had to forcibly manhandle her from the conference room and back to their rooms so she could get some rest in preparation for tomorrow. Even so, Jade spent some time moaning to Rose about the whole situation and how they had beat that godforsaken Game after dying repeatedly and they shouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit. Rose agreed and likewise moaned to Jade about her ridiculously unhelpful Seer abilities and how she couldn't See the best roads for individuals, just as the entire race of humanity which was really not helpful in this situation since she had no advice to give to Roxy and Jane for them to succeed.

After tossing and turning for a few hours in her shared bed with Rose the Witch finally managed to grab a handful of hours of restless sleep, her dreams full of old memories of the Game. They were mostly of all the blood and panic and terror she had felt all those years ago as a frightened child and Jade woke grotty and angry. Rose had already risen and made them both a light breakfast, the Seer looking withdrawn as she mutely offered Jade a plate of food. The Witch and Seer ate silently, Jade brooding with a snarl on her face and Rose mulling over all the ways this could go horribly wrong before they finally had to move down to the labs.

They were an hour early for the rendezvous with Jane and Roxy so Jade spent some time arguing with Dirk about something while Rose started to angrily knit a sock on one of the chairs at the back if the lab. Her grandmother- Jade had long gotten used to referring to her older self as such -was leaning against their free range teleporter, scrolling through her tablet, long white hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Jade herself finally drew back from arguing with an irritated Dirk and started to pace the room, ignoring the rest of her family as they steadily showed up as the hour passed.

That was how she found herself all too soon standing in front of a tense Roxy and grim Jane as the two waited for Jade to teleport them into a ship full of psychotic alien clowns. The Witch was tempted to call it off as her anxiety worsened as her Alpha counterpart spoke quietly to the two, but she forced her distressed emotions down, becoming cold and methodical. Now wasn't the time to be selfish and Roxy and Jane were adults themselves; if they wanted to do this, it was their right and Jade couldn't ban them from doing it as if they were a bunch of naughty children.

Jane further proved that by interrupting her grandmother's numerous warning to point out _she_ was the more valuable prisoner and Jade had to bite back harsh words. Judging from Roxy's frustrated expression she likewise wanted to protest but Jane's point was valid. If it came down to it, Jane had the highest chance of surviving imprisonment, even if it meant torture. Jade wasn't happy- and neither was anyone else -but they all knew she was right.

So Jade stood silently, waiting for Dirk to tell her the coordinates where the ship was as her nails bit deep in the palms of her hands. While Jade hoped the ship was close to their location she knew they would hardly be that lucky and her permissiveness was rewarded when Dirk read out the ship's location which was located near the moon. Great, not even within Earth's atmosphere. Oh well, it was still within her abilities.

With practiced ease she swung her hands up, bracketing the Maid and Rogue between her fingers. Then she focused on the space that they were and the ship, aiming for a small, isolated room close to the signature of the Observer she'd seen in the sketchy blueprints of the ship they'd salvaged but not close enough that they wouldn't be teleported right into the room with the information relay.

Then Jade forced the space around the Maid and Rogue to shift and warp, consolidating into a fluid, morphing rift. Then with a brilliant flare of lime and _zap_ the two vanished.

Jade could briefly see in her minds eye the pair appear in a small, dark storage room before a wave of vertigo overtook the Witch and she nearly collapsed, cold sleuthing through her limbs. She felt hands grab her shoulders and she was roughly manhandled into a chair, slumping against the plush cushions even as her heart fluttered in her chest. Rose hovered in front of her, hands soft against the clammy skin of her brow and Jade smiled at the concerned etched into the Seer's face and mumbled out an assurance.

They were on board in a secure location; well, as secure as a location on an enemy ship could be. Now all Jade wanted to see was Jane and Roxy safely back in the labs again.

 

* * *

 

The minutes slowly crawled by, with everyone in various states of concern and apprehension. They had previous agreed not to have communications open while Jane and Roxy were aboard the ship, for fear it would alert the Subjugglators of their position or the Observer would take notice. But now Jade was violently wishing they at least kept one line of communication open, just so she could be sure they were safe. There was a small comfort in watching the tiny blinking dots of their trackers on Dirk's computer screen, which several of her family were watching avidly.

Rose was likewise pressed against the Witch's side, eyes fixed to the two dots as they steady moved through the labyrinth of the ship's innards. The Seer's nails bit into Jade's hand but she ignored the small bloody furrows being pressed into her skin and the exhaustion in her limbs, instead watching the glowing points and the small lines showing their vital signs. A small comfort

Dirk, who was hunched over his computer and looking as tense as a coiled spring, abruptly spoke up and broke the tense silence in the cold lab room, "Roxy's hacked into the Observer. Everyone on stand-by for the pick up."

Instantly everyone fanned out, taking defensive positions in the room with most equipping weapons just case anything else managed to follow Jane and Roxy through from the other side; Bro even hopped up onto the metal supports criss-crossing the ceiling and crouched with his katana at the ready. Jade went to stand, wanting to help but Rose immediately pushed her back down, saying sternly, "You stay in that chair, Jade. You're exhausted; don't worry, we'll take care of it."

With a terse smile the Seer released her and equipped the long white quills of her strife deck and standing protectively in front of her.

"Alright hang onto your goodies, kids," Grandma shouted from her position in front of the glowing machine. With a swift movement she brought her clenched fist down on the glowing button on the keyboard. With a piercing shriek that made Jade's ears hurt, a brilliant bolt of green sliced open the air within the cusp of the free-range teleporter.

For a few tense seconds nothing happened and Jade felt as if her heart was lodged in her throat then Roxy appeared in a blast of lime and went sailing into the room as if she'd been thrown, hitting the ground with a thud and promptly rolling back up to her feet, expression panicked. Her camouflaged uniform was splattered with purple and she was still clinging to to her heavy shotgun as the Rogue looked wildly around before Dave dragged her backwards, his focus still on the glowing split in space.

No one else appeared.

Then the rift shut.

For a long strained moment it was if everyone was frozen in time with only the whines of the over-heated teleporter breaking the dead silence, then Jade heard Jake speak up, voice shrill and on the edge of panic, "Um, did Jane stay behind in this scenario? That's what she's doing, right? That's why she's not here?"

Grandma swore violently even as Grandpa's entire body slumped from where he was standing guard near the door, his gun clattering onto the floor. Jade felt herself go numb and Rose leaned back against the arms of the chair as if she'd been struck, horror etched into her face. Likewise Jane's father, who was hovering next to some storage crates, completely froze up with his expression going utterly blank as if a mask had abruptly slid down over his features.

_Jane had been left behind_ , was the crippling thought that rolled through Jade's head and she felt panic claw at her gut and her breath seize up. Despair made her light headed even as hot tears pricked at her eyes; they'd failed.

_No. Fuck that shit,_ Jade narrowed her eyes and angrily banished her fear, reaching out to the extreme of her senses; pain began to throb through her head but the Witch ignored it as she scoured through the thick warping of space, searching for Jane... _there!_ Jade straightened up, ears perking, feeling the vague, vibrant space of pulsing Life that constantly surrounded the Maid; it was on the extreme of her senses, further than before but still she forced her will out, attempting to seize Jane within space and drag her back home, uncaring of the damage it would cause to herself.

Blistering agony blasted her body and Jade promptly lost consciousness.

 

* * *

 

It was bad when the rift shut and Jane hadn't appeared, signalling her current predicament of being stranded on a shipful of psycho clowns and it was utter pandemonium when Jade suddenly slumped back against her chair, body shaking and blood pouring from her nose and eyes.

"Oh god, what the fuck?!" Roxy heard her counterpart shout, the woman darting over to grab a hold of one of Jade's thrashing limbs and spilling her martini everywhere.

"I think she attempted to teleport Jane back," Rose said, hands shaking as she started to check Jade's eyes, accepting the clean cloth Dave offered her. The white fabric turned red as Rose carefully wiped away the lines of scarlet.

Dave's older self appeared next to Jade, crouching down slightly as he checked the Witch's pulse. By then her thrashing had turned into small twitches and her excessive bleeding had ebbed. Roxy watched, numb, as Dave Alpha careful picked up the unconscious Witch, grunting slightly. Rose immediately helped him, one hand still gripping onto the bloody cloth.

"We're taking Jade to medical," He said bluntly, voice not giving anything away, "Can you guys hold down the fort?"

"I'll come with you three," Roxy's older self said, even as her breath hitched and a tear slid down her face. She hurried wiped them away before chasing after the Dave and Rose, who were carrying the passed out Witch between them. Everyone else was silent as the four left the room, Roxy's counterpart saying over her shoulder as she left the room, "I'll be back as soon as she's okay. Just- shit," her voice cracked and the woman vanished after the trio.

The silence that followed with stifling and Roxy suddenly shook off Dave's grip, feeling an almost overwhelming urge to punch him. Or a wall. Something.

"What went wrong?" The panic in Jake's voice made Roxy want to scream and hit something. Everything was fucking horrible and it was all her fault.

The Rogue shook with a combination of fury and fear, throwing her shotgun away as she suddenly snapped, "Open the fucking rift right now! Grandma, why the fuck are you just standing there?!"

"Roxy, the teleport is over-heated! It's won't-"

"I don't give a shit! We just can't leave Janey there!"

"No one is suggesting that," Dirk's voice cut through the angry yelling and Roxy promptly transferred her livid glare to him.

Roxy swore, "For fucks sake, Dirk! We do not have time for this shit!"

"You think I don't know that?" Dirk snapped right back, just as angry, "But the fact is we fucking _can't_ get on the ship! It's already jumped! Jade just nearly fucking died trying to drag Jane back! Thank fucking Christ she passed out instead of dying, but now the ship's jumped right back closer to Mars. Jade can't teleport that far, and neither can that machine. There's no way we can get her at the moment!"

"So what?! We just leave her there?!" Roxy was nearly screaming at this point, ignoring the anguished looks on everyone's faces, fury caused simply by mind-wrenching fear for her friend. A small part of her mind knew Dirk was completely right and shouting wasn't helping but Roxy didn't want to see reason right now.

Dirk didn't flinch away from her furious rage, instead saying in a deceptively calm tone, "We can't bring her back with the teleporter. What we can do now is sort out the information you brought back and hopefully it'll help us find a way to save Jane."

"Sort through that shit my ass! That could take _weeks_ and Jane could be dead by-"

"Roxy, please." The soft voice and a gentle touch on her arm jerked Roxy out of her snarling and she flinched as she glanced to the side and right into Jane's father's face. The misery and fear on his usually calm demeanor instantly killed her fury and she slumped, feeling ashamed.

"This fighting doesn't help," the Crocker patriarch continued, his voice strained, "And she wouldn't want it. Right now, we need to stay focused."

"He's right, Roxy," Dirk said, face blank, "The sooner we figure-"

"Oh, fuck you, mister I'm-gonna-wear-shades-inside-like-a-douchebag-hipster! Crockerdad has a point; Let me decode this shit in peace before I come over there and kick your bony ass!"

And with that last cursing retort, Roxy brushed past everyone and threw herself onto her computer chair and started to type away furiously, ignoring everyone in the room.

 

* * *

 

Three hours later, Dirk and Roxy found themselves alone in the lab. Everyone else had gone off to do various tasks such as world leader wrangling, tech management, finding private areas to freak out - or pass out like Jade did, who was still sleeping it off but in a stable condition -leaving the two to toil through the massive source of data they'd recovered from the yellowblood Observer on the ship. Even with the massive storage on hand the computers had taken nearly an hour to finally upload all the information and Roxy had half gone mad with fury when she realized every single piece of information was encrypted, with different codes and algorithms protecting the information which made any kind of quick data cracking in a timely manner near impossible. Several miscellaneous machines met their demise after that revelation. Even so, Roxy and Dirk had managed to break most of the code protecting the names of the files, so at least they had a rough of idea of what a file was before they attempted to crack it. The Rogue had spent nearly a half-hour scouring for the medical records and was aghast at the sheer amount she'd uncovered, most of which she wasn't even sure was health reports.

"Oh for- this fucking Doctorturer Bootley person, or whatever the fuck his name is, really likes to hear himself talk! Or type, whatever. Most of his logs are mainly bitching about shit or gushing over random stuff, from the little snippets and titles I've gotten. Fuckin' whiny ass doctors."

"Try the entries from a decade ago- around six or five sweeps," Dirk suggested from across the room, "That should be about the time the adolescent trolls got sent off world, right? So if he did encounter Gamzee, it should be in one of his medical reports from then since he did all that shit with the baby clowns."

Roxy scratched her scalp, angry and irritable, "Ugh, I don't know! Compes' code is fucking everywhere since she was continually spying on everyone in the Empire and I mean _everyone_. It will take me decades to figure all this data out! Centuries even, since there's like shit in here I'm pretty sure even predates the troll's goddamn development of space flight. Even just looking at the goddamn files it would take me, like, six fucking years just to decrypt the medical ones! _Every_ file is sealed by a different code, even the ones in the same fucking folder! This is such bullshit!" Roxy angrily punctuated the end of her rant via slamming her clenched fists onto the computer table, upsetting the jar of pens next to the keyboard. Snarling, Roxy swatted the jar away and sending the case flying across the room.

Dirk didn't bother scolding her, instead he watched a blue ball-point pen go rolling past his foot without a word.

"I mean, there is some weird data movement between her and other helmsmen in the fleet; most notably with the Helmsman of the Battleship Condescension, though, which is like only half-ass encoded and is weird as shit compared to everything else."

Dirk glanced up from his pen-staring, expression curious, "What do you mean?"

"They've been...like, sending each other little parcels of code; like just random-ass garbage code that doesn't even having any real meaning, just enough to be picked up," Roxy frowned at the screen, "The Observer sent these little codes to every helmsman in the fleet like, once a year. With the Helmsman however, they would sent each other these packages once a month; she'd do it first, then he'd send back his own and so on..."

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe to just...update each other? Like who prisoners would just say 'hey' or knock on the cell bars just to let each other know they're still alive?"

"Comfort."

"That seems to be the only reason I can think of...Oh god."

"What?"

"Shit, it's her latest message; she pretty much fucking sent it the same second Janey killed her. Like her death rattle, binary style. See, it's up on screen; clearly she didn't give a shit about being caught 'cause it's the only message with actual data in it and she was dead regardless."

Dirk came over next to Roxy and peered at the screen, studying the mustard colour text illuminating it.

  
01000110 01110010 01100101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 01100010 01111001 01100101 00100000 01001101 01101001 01110100 00001010 . 

Dirk raised an eyebrow, " 'Why would she send that as a death message?"

"I think she was sending a final farewell," Roxy said quietly, "Those two spoke the most- well, not even really spoke they just kept on pinging each other, and I think she wanted him to know she was going to finally die and be free?"

Roxy tapped a few buttons on the screen, continuing, "Those two are the oldest psionics in the fleet; apparently the Helmsman is centuries old while the Observer was only about two-thirds of his age. I think the Waterbitch kept on intentionally expanding their lives because they were so useful to her. No point letting 'em die if they were useful, right? And because Compes and Mituna were so old, they must of known each other the longest and she wanted to tell him what was happening before she went offline...Oh _god_ this so proves they're still fucking self aware to some extent. Fuck this shit. Fuck it right in the fuckhole."

Dirk was silent for a moment before saying, "At least Jane managed to end her misery. Are any of the other files you saved as easy to decode as this one? Or are they all encrypted?"

Roxy grunted before shaking her head, "Nah. Just gimme some time and I'll try and see if I can find anything worthwhile in this clusterfuck. Like figuring out if that really is Jane's lost paramour clown prancing about."

 

* * *

  
  
hippocraticSweetness [HS] has begun trolling taipanPhilomela [TP]  
  
HS: Oh +his is jus+ wonderful news, Eminor! I don'+ know if you've heard from Gra+ia or Occhio ye+, abou+ +he Condesce in+ervening on a culling on Al+ernia?  
TP: no? i've only had a few reportz on it but even then they're vague as zhit zo i ain't really payin attention. zomethin about her zlitherin in and znatchin up a clownie??  
HS: +urns ou+ +he Condesce had an immensely valid reason for flou+ing +radition and +he roles of +he drones +o rescue a purpleblood from culling~ While we could've straigh+en ou+ his sopor addic+ion, his refusal +o fill any pails would've go++en a culling fork regardless of his cas+e. :o|  
TP: ugh by the messiahz he aint givin any pailz? what the fuck for?  
HS: Eh, I dunno. Maybe he was jus+ fed up wi+h +he ugly ass things ~   
HS: Bu+ as I was saying dearie, +he Condesce was wi+h me when i+ happened- I was assessing +he overall heal+h of +he new clowns and if +hey had any heal+h issues we needed +o sor+ ou+~ Wha+ is i+ wi+h wigglers and sopor slime +hese sweeps?   
TP: abutor ya goin off topic.  
HS: I'm old and senile, +his is elderly abuse :o(   
TP: lmao   
HS: Bu+ you're righ+, swee+ie. I'm ge++ing off +opic; as I was saying, +he Condesce and I were overlooking +he new clowns who passed culling and had +o offer up +heir pails~ Luckily all had +hem barring +ha+ one but I was in +he middle of a heal+h assessmen+ and missed +he drones whining abou+ +he one who refused +o give any bucke+s ~  
TP: dronez are ztupid as zhit. why the motherfuck do we keep them?   
HS: Ugh, well leas+ +hey don't +ry and rebel as much as +hose ungra+eful lowblood shi+heads~ We le+ +hose swill blooded fuckers live and +hey repay us by +rying +o over+hrow us? +ha+'s lowblood gra+i+ude for you~  
HS: Shi++y peasan+s aside, clowns are another barrel of wa+erbeas+s~ In +his case +he Condesce go+ bored of my medical assessmen+s and wen+ +o go see wha+ all +he honking was abou+ wi+h +he new comer and she suddenly s+ar+ed loosing her shi+ and killed +he drone harassing him :oO  
TP: thatz zome weird zhit. zince when the fuck doez the condezce give a tozz about zome wigglerz?? we all know zhe likez clown but even zhe isn't merciful to thoze who zcrew up.   
HS: Well yeah. And +his one, swee+ling, seemed fairly far gone when I wen+ over +here to see wha+ she was fussing abou+- sopor addic+ion, uncon+rollable rage fluc+uation, ex+reme men+al scarring~ Like mo+herfuck, his +hinkpan was clawed all up +o +he horror+errors and back; I jus+ got all tha+ from a base 'voodoo scan :o( A+ leas+ he wasn'+ feral which was +he only real posi+ive +hing abou+ him I no+iced ~   
TP: zo he can endure zome nasty zhit yeah? how iz that even enough to draw the condezce'z gander bulbz??  
HS: Oh please, my mu+e beauty! You really love +he...  
HS: an+ici...  
HS:...  
HS:...  
HS:...  
HS:...  
HS:...  
TP: lmao fuck you!!!  
HS:..   
HS:..  
HS:...pa+ion! :oD  
TP: like fuck you in the fuckhole with a club lol   
HS: Dear Messiahs, wha+ a vulgar +hing for a darling young +roll such as yourself +o say~  
TP: lol fuck you again, old man. but for real, what happened? my hornz are juzt itchin with curiozity.   
HS: Okay, hang on+o your small shir+, my lovely~ +his is quite +he +hinkpan blower~  
TP: don't worry, i'm not gonna flazh any lil clownz my rumble zpheres lol. lay it on me, doc.   
HS: I+ +urned ou+ +he wiggler was Kurloz's descendan+ :oO   
TP: ??????!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!   
HS: Oh my fucking yes, I know! :oD  
TP: omgomg motherfuckin zhit! are you really zure???  
HS: Of course I'm sure! He was a Makara sure as +he sun burns +he gander bulbs; same sign, same horns (+hough he does need +o grow in+o +hem) ~  
TP: omfg i don't even.   
TP: you have him with ya, right??   
HS: Don'+ worry, +he lil' one is safe wi+h us~ I +old Gra+ia and Occhio as soon as I verified him wi+h +he Condesce bu+ +hey have +o process +he rest of +he clowns before +hey can mee+ him~ However he is in such poor heal+h I'm +ending to him personally. He's cer+ainly in +he worst heal+h ou+ of +he new clowns :o(  
TP: why? he'z not crippled is he???   
HS: Calm +hose rumble spheres, my mu+e beau+y, he's go+ all his limbs~ His looking like a s+arved slave is my main concern righ+ now~   
TP: oh no. poor thing, didnt he have a luzuz to feed him up?   
HS: From +he few words he +old me his lusus died a while ago or was jus+ never +here, since he's incredibly emancipa+ed s+a+e due to no+ having a guardian +o raise him :o(  
TP: what a load of hoofbeazt zhit! i fuckin zwear if we'd lozt kurloz'z dezcendant bazed on zhitty luzuz...ugh, juzt smh.   
HS: I know, bu+ we didn'+; he's a bi+ bea+ up bu+ alive~ Anyway, we star+ed feeding him immedia+ely since he looked like he was about +o drop dead, mainly +he Condesce who was fawning all over him~ I haven'+ see her +his energe+ic ou+side a siege in a while~ She did miss Kurloz some+hing fierce~   
TP: for fuckz zake, i hope zhe didn't half zmother the poor wiggler- would juzt be final zhit for him to get ztrangled in hair fml.   
HS: Nah, she se++led down af+er a while~ I +hink she was a li++le blown away by +he sudden li++le miracle our new clown is~ We've go+ him on +he ship wi+h +he rest of +he clowns bu+ he's jus+ incredibly apa+he+ic and unresponsive a+ +his poin+~ I'm no+ +oo sure if i+'s due +o his men+al scarring or from s+arvation. Ei+her way, we need +o give him some +ime to recupera+e, even if +hat means fending off a grasping fronds Condesce :oU  
TP: aww, poor wee wiggler.   
TP: well i've got to go procezz zome clownz and help the lezzer prieztormentorz with zome zhit but before i go what'z little makara'z name???   
HS: His name is Gamzee~   
TP: omg what a cutie lil name   
TP: well i gtg but tell mini makara i'll zwing by for a hello when i ztart zortin out the new clowniez  
HS: Sure +hing, my love~  
TP: cy   
  
hippocraticSweetness [HS] has ceased trolling taipanPhilomela [TP]  


 

* * *

 

  
ebisuCratylus [EC] has begun trolling  pontiffSpectacle [PS]  
  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) HEY, OCCHIO! HOW the wigglers treating YOU? HOPEFULLY full of miracles and rising SUBJUGGLATORS!  
PS: A few scUffles bUt nOthing yoU coUld call a prOblem.  
PS: I knOw yOU're busy sOrting OUt sOme blasphemOUs pOtential shit stirrers in the brief time we're allOwed On Alternia. Like, I'm all fOr spilling the blOOd Of heretics bUt yOU cOUld at least captUre sOme fOr the initiates tO practice with.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) IT'S fine brother, I'm making sure to keep some from our final hunt ALIVE. THERE'S just a lot at the moment so we're killing them off quickly since we only have a small allowance by the CONDESCE. THE little ones settling into the church OKAY?  
PS: As expected, many already miss the sky. I can't blame them, I was lOnging fOr it fOr sweeps after cOnscriptiOn. HOwever we can shOw them new skies On the planets we cOnqUer and future Ones tO raid spill sOme alien blOOd fOr OUr Messiahs; that shOUld cheer them right Up.  
PS: ThOUgh I really dOUbt yOU're jUst lOOking up my motherfUcking fine-ass self fOr a friendly Update, ya?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) YES, I am here for a REASON! HAVE you seen GAMZEE?  
PS: Gratia, I knOw yOU're happy we have KUrlOz's descendant bUt he already had tO deal with the fUcking COndesce being all Over him; he's Of pOOr health, the wOrst OUt Of OUr initiates intO the ChUrch. Harassing him isn't mOtherfUcking helpfUl.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I'M not going to harass hIM. I just want to speak with HIM.  
PS: YOU're fUcking deaf, dUmb ass.  
EC: (◕‿◕✿) SO?  
PS: HOnk.  
PS: DOn't try and tell me yOU want tO try and 'vOOdOO with him? He's tOO yOUng and it's blasphemOUs befOre his initiatiOn; yOU'll bUrn his thinkpan OUt, yOU mOtherfUcking dOUche.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I'M not going to try and do THAT! I just want to see if he can understand ME.  
PS: YOU mean get yOUr hand signs? Oh mOtherfUcker please, hOw wOUld he knOw that shit off the hOrn?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I wouldn't KNOW. HOWEVER I just want to find OUT.  
PS: YOU mean yOU want tO be nOsy and bOther Gamzee when he shOUld be learning the tenants Of the ChUrch while trying tO hide Under 'UUUgh hands!' excUse? Fine, bUt teach him sOme scriptUre while yOU're there; dO a grOUp lessOn sO the favOUritism isn't sO ObviOUs, ya?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) THANK YOU.  
PS: Ya.  
PS: UOuOU  
EC: (◡‿◡❤)   
  
ebisuCratylus [EC] has ceased trolling  pontiffSpectacle [PS]  


* * *

 

  
)(er Imperious Condescension [)(IC] has open a group chat called shit we need ta glub aboat  
  
)(IC: get ya basses in here clownies  
)(IC: ya mothafuckin empress has some searious shit ta glub at ya  
  
hippocraticSweetness [HS] has joined the group chat!  
  
HS: Ah, my succulen+ seadweller Empress! Finally decided +o kill your admiral+y board and le+ us take charge?  
)(IC: lol i wish  
)(IC: nah they're still swimmin yo  
)(IC: but where da fuck is the rest of ya priests at?  
HS: Probably drunk somewhere~  
  
ebisuCratylus [EC] has joined the group chat!  
  
EC: (◕‿◕✿) WHAT.  
HS: See? All you have +o say is 'drunk' and Gra+ia shows up like a quackbeas+~  
  
pontiffSpectacle [PS] has joined the group chat!  
  
taipanPhilomela [TP] has joined the group chat!  
  
)(IC: aboat fuckin time yo  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) WHAT is your DESIRE?  
PS: Ya, we gOt anOther pack Of pOtential rebels we gOtta rOOt OUt and give tO the mOtherfUcking Messiahs?  
TP: i'm all for that zhit. dumb fuckerz need to learn juzt to give up tbh lol.  
)(IC: nah this is some reel personal ship and all of you need ta be here for it  
HS: Ah, so I assume i+'s abou+ one of +he initia+ives? :o)  
)(IC: pretty much yo  
)(IC: cause i've liked tried glubbin to him and ship but he just stays all clammed up  
)(IC: he like that when he's wid you lot? 38/  
TP: he iz, actually. dunno wtf is up with him- he even ztonewallz other newbiez for zome reazon and whenever i azk he'z juzt like 'it'z nothing.'  
TP: like motherfucker pleaze, it'z clearly zomething 'cauze ya act half dead mozt of the time.  
EC: (◡_◡✿) I also had to punish him a few days AGO.  
)(IC: da fuck for?  
EC: (◡_◡✿) HE attacked another CLOWN. THAT is not permitted within the CHURCH. I was lenient however, due to his upbringing and beginner STATUS. HOPEFULLY he will not do that AGAIN.  
HS: Oh yeah, I remember +ha+. I had +o sti+ch up half of her damn face af+er lec+uring her over boundaries :oO  
)(IC: so what, she was gettin up in his gills so he figured he'd betta bite her head off?  
HS: Nah, apparen+ly she made a pi+ch solici+a+ion he didn'+ apprecia+e and then she +ried +o black smooch him. Hence +he +eeth in +he face~  
)(IC: whale shit, that's quite a turn down lmao  
TP: they're both okay tho?  
HS: Yeah, +hey're fine~ Cranky, bu+ fine~ Anyway, wha+ else is nibbling a+ your +hinkpan, our beau+iful Empress? No+ jus+ Gamzee's angry reacc+ion to romance, I harzard +o guess~  
)(IC: just what da fuck is wrong wid him?  
)(IC: like, i know the lil guppie had a shitty wigglerhood but he like just fucking does jackship or stares at walls 38|  
)(IC: even when i'm around he's just all surly and ship; would forked him if he was anyone else yo  
PS: At least it isn't persOnal; he's like that tOwards everyOne. If I didn't knOw better, I'ld say his thinkpan had gOtten brOken Or sOmething.  
HS: During my 'voodoo scans +here was a lo+ of neurological scarring~ I asked him if i+ had any+hing +o do wi+h +hose +hree scars on his face- I though+ maybe ano+her psychic a++acked him -bu+ he said i+ was jus+ done by a gro++y greenblood whom he +hen +ook care of~ However +hat's all he +old me and refused +o explain where all the s+range fluctua+ions and psychosis came from~ Even for his blood kind his rage issues are comple+ely off +he char+s, same wi+h +he deep scars wi+hin his mind~ I can'+ identify +he source, +hough >:o(  
HS: I+'s s+range, since a lo+ of his mood swings s+em from +riggers- such as +he solicitaion and a++acks, bu+ mos+ly he's excessively depressed~  
)(IC: so ya bereef it's not a thinkpan prob?  
)(IC: cause i want to get this cullshit dealt wid yo  
)(IC: cant do ship wid a clown with a fucked up head  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I don't think his attitude is PERMANENT. HE'S just UNHAPPY. NOT permanent brain PROBLEMS. IF we figure out what's upsetting him I'm sure he'll come RIGHT. THOUGH finding the source is difficult with his aversion to QUADRANTS.  
TP: yeah like gamzee needz a damn moirail zomethin terrible but he won't return any zolicitationz for it.  
)(IC: so a morayeel could kelp im wid all his probs huh?  
PS: The issUe is he dOesn't want One and we can't fOrce him intO it. That wOUld just raise his mOtherfUcking ire tOwards Us. SO I think AbUtOr shOUld talk with him.  
HS: Swee+s, you jus+ said we can'+ jus+ shove someone a+ him and say 'moirail'~  
)(IC: but ya are da head doctorturer of da fleet yo  
)(IC: so ya dont have to get reel close and pappin wid gamz all ya gotta do it try and fix his fucked up probs  
TP: condezce iz totez right- you do offer feeling jamz with no ztringz to thoze who need it and he zure as fuck needz one. with your policy he doezn't have to worry about you trying to zhove your way into hiz quadrantz which he'z all prickly about for zome reazon.  
)(IC: shore as ship im fuckin right yo  
)(IC: but seariously get all aquainted wid him cause this clown as come some R--E--EL potential but we gotta sort out this hellabeluga in his shell first  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) CAN you also suggest he tries to mingle with the other CLOWNS? I don't want him being shunned because he's getting attention from US.  
)(IC: yo watch dat hake   
EC: (◡‿◡✿) YOU know I don't mean OFFENSE. THE others of our Church know he's the descendant of our beloved past Grand HIGHBLOOD. HOWEVER if we continue to lavish such obvious favourtism on him I am fearful he will be EXCLUDED. HE needs others his own age to adjust with FIRST.   
EC: (◡‿◡✿) AND I ask this with RESPECT. YOU have a commanding presence and it is obvious he is being lavished by your fuchsia NAILS. IT can make him a potential target for the Empire's enemies since he is not yet a full grown ADULT. NOT to mention his aforementioned mental ISSUES. I am simply asking for you to give him a little bit of breathing room so he does not feel OVERWHELMED.  
)(IC: huh 38|  
)(IC: yeah i don't want anymoby harmin gamz fore he can pupate and kick some reel bass yo  
)(IC: fine i'll give da guppie some space for now- but i want reports aboat his status after each jam ya hear me abutor?  
HS: Alrigh+, alrigh+ my lovelies! I'll +ake care of Gamzee and see wha+ I can do for his social problems~  
HS: Condesce, don'+ you worry your spec+acular weave~ You'll ge+ repor+s on both his heal+h (men+al and physical) as well as any recorded in+eractions he has wi+h +he new clowns and +hose wi+hin +he Church~  
)(IC: good, ya sea ta that and you'll be herring from me later  
HS: Don'+ worry, I'll sor+ ou+ Gamzee, Condesce~  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) MAY you ever swim in GLORY.  
TP: ZEA ya later emprezz!  
PS: Gank a few hUndred mOre mOtherfUcking hereatics On yOUr trident, COndesce. UOuOU  
  
)(er Imperious Condesension [)(IC] has shut the chat and logged the fuck out.  


* * *

 

"Roxy?"

The Rogue blinked once, refusing to draw her eyes away from the numerous lines of purple text upon her screen. Her fingers didn't pause in their tapping of the keyboard as she carried on decrypting the next file. Dirk's hand clamping onto her elbow and forcibly pulling her around finally tore her away from the computer even as she protested angrily.

"Dirk, stop it! I need to get this shit-"

"Roxy, _enough._ "

Roxy gestured towards the glowing screen as she leaned back against her chair, the wheels squeaking, "Jane was right, Dirk, she was totally fuckin' right- it is Gamzee," Roxy managed to choke out, her voice breaking slightly, "Fuck fuck _fuck_ , it was him and I just dismissed it 'cause I thought she was being...being fucking _hysterical_ or something. And now everything's gone to shit, humanity is half dead, we're all freaking out and now Jane's been captured and probably being skinned alive or something by a bunch of killer clowns from space right now and it's my _fucking fault_ because I was too much of a stupid bitch to get the hell out of there first-"

Roxy had started crying at this point, suddenly overwhelmed by an icy wave of guilt and fear, hating herself even as hot tears began to roll down her checks. Dirk immediately stooped down and wrapped Roxy up in a hug causing the Rogue to start sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, gripping the back of his loose shirt. Eventually the two ended up in a heap on the floor, Roxy's chair having tipped over and sending them sprawling onto the cold floor. Dirk however kept on holding her, tugging her close and running his hands through her hair as she sobbed.

Eventually Roxy pulled back, her breath hiccuping. She remained motionless for a few seconds, letting his rhythmic stroking of her hair calm her before leaning against his side as she sniffed and rubbed at her tear-stained face, grimacing at the mess she'd left on Dirk's shoulder, "I got snot all over you."

He shrugged, "I've been covered in worse. Now what's this bullshit about all of this being your fault?"

She averted her gaze, leaning forward so her long hair hid the side of her face, her voice blunt and cold, "Jane threw my ass into the fucking rift because I was too stupid to go through there first. Now she's stuck there being tortured like a fucking lab rat-"

Dirk grabbed her arms, pulling her around so she was facing him, his expression stern, "Stop it. You know that's a load of shit; if Jane hadn't of thrown you through, both of you'd probably be dead."

"But it's such.... _bullshit_ is what it is! Fuck this, we beat the fucking shitty-ass Game that killed us like a couple of dozen goddamn times! And how the fuck does the universe repay us? By bringing the fucking shitty-ass waterbitchface back and giving her a fucking army?! Fuck that!" Roxy was shouting at this point, tears gathering in her eyes again as rage flooded her body. Dirk, to his credit, didn't even flinch despite the fact Roxy was all but bellowing right into his face.

"You're preaching to the choir, Roxy," Dirk agreed, jagged shades tinted purple from the computer glow, "But it's just like the Game; we gotta do the best we can with what we got. And if that means driving off an armada of psycho aliens then we do that too. Fuck knows we've got enough practice with psycho aliens in our life time. And as for Jane? She did what was the best in the shitty scenario; she was right in knowing that she has the highest chance of surviving on that shitfest of a ship, of surviving interrogation and torture," Roxy flinched at his matter-of-fact comment but she knew from the skewed corner of his mouth he was just as freaked out as she was about it but was doing his best to cope before he carried on talking.

"She grew up as a rich Heiress while you and I were raised as crazy survivalists on the remnants or Earth; Jake grew up on a island full of wild alien animals. She was the complete green horn so to speak and even then it was a good six months of all our bullshit, of learning about humanities annihilation, of being in a land of dead, of getting killed and dealing with our emotional garbage before she finally fucking lost it. Then after the Game she wound up becoming the head of Crocker Corp at twenty and had to deal with all those corporate assholes without breaking a damn sweat and just a few days ago got in a fight to the near death with her long-lost fucking boyfriend who's the leader of an intergalactic carnival cult of murderous clowns aliens."

Dirk looked at her and Roxy could see the faint hint of gold behind his dark shades, "Jane's tough; in many ways she's a shitload tougher than either of us. And she'll be able to endure all the horrible shit they'll do to her; she'll fucking endure until we can find a way to bust her ass out of that hellhole and bring her back home."

"It's still complete shit," Roxy grumbled, but allowed Dirk to tug her back up against his side. She nuzzled against him with a sigh, fighting back another bout of fresh tears. Misery was all well and good but not when they had this much shit to do. Dirk was right; screaming and crying wasn't going to help them save Jane. They needed to be calm and focused. So instead the Rogue forced her panic down, breathing in Dirk's comfortable smell of oil, machinery and the incredibly faint scent of sea salt. Slowly Roxy relaxed, her racing thoughts slowly down even as she felt Dirk's callused fingers begin to run through her hair again, gently untangling snarls and smoothing down wayward curls. Roxy squeezed her aching eyes shut and wished this was all just some horrible nightmare.

They remained pressed against each other on the cold steel floor for a long while, Dirk methodically soothing Roxy even as the Rogue wound up wrapped her arms around Dirk's broad shoulders. Eventually they stirred, Dirk shifting until he was sitting cross-legged and Roxy leaning against his side.

"Did you find anything?" She eventually heard him ask quietly, his soft breath ruffling the hair of her fringe.

Roxy grimaced, "A couple of things. It will take me a few hours to hack into the medical records of the Empire's head Doc, and that's just for each damn folder and he's got thousands of those fucking things. So I went for the less encrypted chat logs that occurred with the Priestormentors and other higher class trolls and struck gold with some logs going on between them which was around fifteen minutes each," Roxy sighed, suddenly feeling unbelievably tired, "It was Gamzee that attacked Jane in the market, alright. And the previous Grand Highblood was his Ancestor, Kurloz."

Dirk's face was unreadable as he mulled it over, head slightly titled to the side, "Rose mentioned his name before; the Kurloz one- they were created in the same manner we were, with ectobiology. Apparently the Ancestors for the trolls who won their Game were the previous failed session and they were sent back in time to be the Ancestors. Same as the ones with those dream bubbles, who were the original trolls players."

"How do you even remember that shit?" Roxy complained, "I mean, Rosie probs told me that before but it was totes like fuckin' five years ago or something."

"Some things just stick...But you're sure that it's him?"

Roxy didn't bother keeping the bite from her voice, "Yes, I'm fucking _sure_ , Dirk. Numerous references to his name, there's even a mention of his three facial scars. It's really him, Dirk; I made sure to check it."

She glanced up at him, studying the expressionless mask his face had shifted to. She poked him in the side, grinning slightly as he twitched, "You're brooding now. This is you brooding about shit and you can't do that after telling me off for freaking out before."

"I'm not brooding. I'm worried."

"Why? I know Jane's in the shit right now but you were totally right about her being tough; she'll be able to hang on until we can get her and kick some serious ass. We just gotta find a way," Roxy said, grabbing one of Dirk's hand between hers and looking up at him and carried on, "I mean, who fucking knows maybe even Gamzee will help save her ass first, since he's probably in the...general vicinity or some shit and he stopped mauling her before."

"Well, we need more information is what I know," Dirk said, shifting his hand so he was gripping hers and Roxy groaned but nonetheless allowed Dirk to gently pull her to her feet.

"But that's one of the things about this that's worrying me, Roxy; we need to be prepared for the off chance Gamzee either doesn't remember her fully or doesn't care. We can't rely on him to help."

Roxy averted her eyes, studying the metal floors as she mumbled, "I know. And even just in those files I managed to decrypt it's obvious the Priestormentors got their claws into him as soon as they could. I have no idea how fucked up he is. Shit, even the fucking Condesce was being a creepy bitch to him. We dunno what it did to him. I'll need to dig more to find out."

Hot tears pricked at her eyes again and Roxy angrily ignored them as she pulled her hand from Dirk's and walked back to her computer, the screen still showing rows of purple text. She picked up her discarded chair and settled back on it, saying, "But I'm not waiting for them to fuck Jane up as well. There's got to be _something_ in all this shit that we can use to figure out where the hell Jane is and bust her ass outta jail."

With that she cracked her knuckles before starting to tap away at the keyboard, knowing she had long stretches of sleeplessness and coffee-induced alertness ahead of her.

She felt Dirk's hand lightly rest on her shoulder and heard his mutter of, "Don't worry; we'll save her," before he slipped away as quietly as a ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DirkRoxy moirails 4 lyfe.
> 
> Handles-
> 
> Abutor- hippocraticSweetness  
> Occhio- pontiffSpectacle  
> Eminor- taipanPhilomela  
> Gratia- ebisuCratylus 
> 
> (Another lame pic of them from yours truly http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/image/99634399013 )  
> (And bonus pic of the winged Priestormentor Jane saw on the wall within the Observer's room- http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/101822513763/the-winged-priestormentor-from-my-fanfic-3-hes )
> 
> You get a cookie if you figure out the meanings behind the Bloodied Authorities trollhandles XD (some are more obs than others)
> 
> I've headcanoned Condie as being quite friendly towards the Church and by extension the clowns- after the death of Kurloz, the Priestormentors and a few others were the only other friends she consider. No where near as close as she was to GHB, but enough she spoke with them often. After all, it's canon Condie has a fondness for clowns so she's a bit more lax with them.


	10. An apple a day

Jane woke up slowly, the dull burn in her limbs intensifying as she struggled from unconsciousness. She twitched and grimaced as she blearily became more and more aware of her surroundings, a deep, throbbing pain radiating through her skull and making her groan; she felt as if her skull was about to split open.

She hung there, breathing shallowly before she tentatively tugged at her wrists, noting that she was currently strung up with her arms stretched up towards the ceiling and with her bare feet resting flat upon a cold, smooth floor. Her breath started to quicken as she yanked at her wrists again, panic rising in her gut as her gummed-up eyes struggled to open.

After a few moments of fruitless tugging Jane's initial burst of energy vanished, exhaustion washing through her and making her go limp. The muscles in her arm burned as she slumped, her wrists aching. Breathing heavily, she fought down another wave of fright as rationally surged to the forefront of her brain.

_Alright, calm down, calm down, just relax. Screaming and squirming like a trussed up turkey won't help. Now remember all those lessons about interrogation Miss Lalonde tutored you about years ago? In case something like this did happen? First, when captured by enemies you get your bearings and try and figure out if you're alone...even if your squirming already gave away the fact you're awake..._

The last part was easy; though Jane felt half dead and was extremely bruised and beaten, she was still able to carefully probe out with her Life sense. Sharp pain stabbed her head, causing the previous ache to worsen until she felt like she was about to pass out again, however she was able to deduce there was no one in the immediate vicinity and she relaxed slightly and severed her sense. Then she attempted to move her hands and legs again; a tight pressure was restricting her movement, braced firmly around her ankles and wrists. In fact it didn't feel like any kind of physical restraint like metal instead it felt like... an almost intangible force holding her in place, wrapped snugly around her joints and holding her in place.

_Hmm, alright. Darn it, if they were metal I could've torn my way out..._ Jane heaved a mental sigh. Well, she could _still_ rip her way free but she would have to tear off her hands and feet to do so. Though even as a Life player it would take her a few minutes to regrow her limbs though considering her current injured state of deep exhaustion it would hours to slowly regrow bone, tendons, muscle and skin. That, and the potential agony she would experience from tearing them off to free herself made her stomach writhe and a cold sweat to break out on her skin. She would leave that as a last resort, the plan X...Though considering what she knew about interrogations the trolls put any captured humans through she might need to implement her backup plan fairly soon. But first thing first.

She tentatively probed out with her Life sense again, trying to detect any nearby life forces; however this time she forced her senses even further out and clenching her jaw as the pain in her head worsened. Usually she could feel the steady thrum of life, the pulses getting stronger the closer a living being was to her. In her minds-eye she could feel faint flickers at the extreme edge of her senses but once again none were in her immediate vicinity. Deeming it safe enough and not wanting to exacerbate her headache, Jane withdrew her sense and finally opened her eyes.

The first impression she got was _white_. It reminded her of the sterile operating rooms she occasionally worked in at the hospitals, all sharp angles with gleaming tiles and she instinctively flinched as the harsh brightness stung her eyes. Jane blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the tears that built up even as she squinted around the area; The room was cuboid and covered in hundreds of white square tiles, with no windows and one gigantic, double-paneled door on the opposite side of the room being the only entrance. The doors were nearly eighteen feet tall and wrought out of a deep, blackened metal. It was largely unadorned barring a purple clown smiley, one smiling and one frowning, in the center of the two doors.

As Jane shifted she shivered and she glanced down, flinching as she suddenly realized she'd been stripped of her clothes, leaving her only clad in her underwear. Instinctively she tried to curl in on herself but the firm restrains on her wrists and ankles prevented her from moving. So instead all she could do was hang there and grimace, feeling horribly exposed and vulnerable with her level of undress. From her lessons she knew they'd stripped her down as a power thing, to make her feel helpless and Jane hated to admit it but she knew it was working.

Though Jane liked her body she still didn't feel comfortable showing off a large amount of bare skin around strangers; the most she'd strip down to in front of anyone was if she was at the beach in a swimsuit with her family and even then she didn't have the lax attitude the Roxy's and Harley's had with their bodies. Now though, she was near-naked and strung up like a Christmas ham and as an added punch it was done completely without her consent or input. Well, at least they'd left her in her underwear and, oddly enough, her purple necklace was still hanging around her neck, despite them taking her glasses as well. She peered down at her collarbone, studying the curling smile for a long moment.

She knew it was far-fetched and immensely unlikely but she hoped Gamzee would come in and be the one to interrogate her; maybe seeing the symbol would help jog his memory and he would help her.

_And then you can both bust out of here and go frolicking off into the sunset, get married, buy a picket-fence house then have cross-specie babies after adopting fifty bichon frise's and a flock of geese,_ she mentally scoffed at herself before giggling faintly at the mental image, _Do trolls even_ have _pets?_

That was a question for another time. Instead Jane forced her mind away from wild daydreaming and peered around the white room more carefully, noting the thick shelves and drawers lining the walls. The cabinet closest to her was covered in gleaming metal instruments and Jane doubted they were there for a positive purpose. The small, sloped area Jane was strung up in had a series of long thin tubing she didn't like the look of; The long hoses were coiled up on the wall left of her, connected to numerous tall, glass cylinders. Jane had a very morbid thought that they were used to suction up blood.

_That's another thing...it's so clean in here,_ the Maid thought, eying the spotless white tiles. One of the most notable thing about the clowns were the fact they liked to be very...messy with their kills and leaving their 'trophies' littered all over the place, most notably severed heads. It was bad enough in the Carnivals they would erect on Earth; while she was sneaking aboard the Subjugglator flagship it was like being in a horrific butchers shop.

The only real splash of colour in the sterile room were the two large portraits flanking either side of the metal door. Jane blinked and for a brief moment she was convinced she was hallucinating the image of Gamzee on the left-most portrait. She shook her head and immediately regretted it as the entire room spun and she nearly threw up. Panting harshly she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed her stomach stayed in placed and after a series of long, deep breaths she finally opened her eyes again as the urge to vomit ebbed. Carefully she peered back over towards the doors, studying the blood-made paintings flanking them.

The two trolls depicted in the portraits were eerily similar to one another; both were heavy-set, muscular Subjugglators with wild hair, towering wavy horns, jagged skull-like facepaint and the curling, N-like purple symbol of Capricorn. In all, they both looked like the stuff of nightmares, all sharp teeth, towering frames and crimson-rimmed eyes. After a few long minutes of study Jane noticed the subtle differences between the two Grand Highbloods, and not just between their...odd fashion tastes.

One had shorter hair, wild and tangled like a halo of thick black tendrils radiating out around its head whereas the one on the left had a long mane that hung down around its waist. She squinted, straining to see the finer details upon the paintings; though she couldn't be completely certain, Jane was fairly sure the one on the right had three faint, diagonal scars marring the rough features of the clown's face. Gamzee.

Jane felt her face twist up and tears burn her eyes. She knew it, she _knew_ it had been him, spite anyone who said otherwise and this giant portrait just further proved her point. It also verified Roxy's claims that the troll who attacked her in the market was the Grand Highblood. So they were _both_ right.

Rather than dwelling on whether or not she'd ever see her best friend again or her potential imminent interrogation, Jane forced her exhausted thoughts back to the portraits, _Gamzee is the leader of the Subjugglators now? Seems like the two of us really rose up in our worlds,_ Jane thought, a twisted smile appearing on her face. _However, who is the other one? The one so immensely similar to Gamzee to the point I can scarcely see the differences within their portraits._

Her aching head made her thoughts slow and sluggish and she struggled to remember the numerous little things her family had told her throughout the years about trolls. Roxy and Dirk she remembered the best, since they grew up in a troll-ruled world. What was the term they used for their guardians?

_Ancestors. They used the term 'Ancestors,'_ she remembered, ignoring the blurring of her vision as unconsciousness gnawed at her mind, exhaustion slowing her, _Trolls don't have families, they just have Ancestors. Rose mentioned something about Drones having something to do with their reproductive cycles though; they...do something, then there is a Mother troll....or....darnit, that isn't right...but something like that, like an ant queen? Genetics? Or maybe...no, that's right, they're genetically related but trolls don't give birth, so they aren't....parents? Though I guess Gamzee would be the 'son' to his Ancestor, but I think his Ancestor is dead at this point since he's the new Grand Highblood, whom his Ancestor used to be...or maybe they share ranks?_

_Maybe I can ask him when he comes for me,_ Jane thought blearily before falling back into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

_Jane carefully pulled the hot tray out of the oven, the warm, mouth-watering scent assailing her nostrils as she gripped the cupcake tray in her oven mitts. Sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter to her left, Gamzee watched her with curious eyes as the Maid pulled the tray free and knocked the oven door shut with her hip. As she placed the hot tin on the wire tray on the counter she could see Gamzee sniff at the air, the white mask painted across the bridge of his nose wrinkling as he did so._

_"Here we go!" Jane said happily as she slipped off the red mitts and hung them back up on their hook, briefly glancing out the window to watch a seed pod drift past before she continued, "I told you I'd make you a treat, didn't I?"_

_Gamzee grinned at that, showing rows of sharp teeth. She'd initially been nervous around his shark-toothed smiles but now she just found them endearing. As she rummaged through the cutlery drawer, she heard Gamzee remark, "So that's why you went and got your baking on?"_

_"Well, I know how much you love that fizzy drink of yours and I did want to do some experiments," Jane said as she extracted a couple of butter knives from the drawer, picked up a chopping board from one of the wall hooks and made her way back to the hot tray of cupcakes._

_The clown shrugged, "Yeah, that shit is some real fucking tits bottle of hissing miracles. Makes your thinkpan all up and get its wicked zone on, my bitchin' Invertesister."_

_"You talk as if it's booze for trolls or something," she teased, briefly entertaining the mental image of a drunk Gamzee._

_"Probably been up at you like sicknasty shit; ain't in the knows of what your alien elixir is all at, though," he replied, shifting across the counter slightly to give her more room as she started to carefully extract the cupcakes from the tray with the knives, before placing them on the chopping board next to the tray. The thick tendrils of his hair, freed from its typical hood, shifted around his face as he craned his neck around to watch her methodical extraction process._

_"Well, we could ask Roxy if she has any spare alcohol left over; martinis are her typical drink of choice but she's trying to go cold turkey with it so I don't know if she got rid of all of it or locked it away. My dad does have some whiskey around here, though. However...well, I don't recommend alcohol. Roxy's past experiences haven't made me friendly towards those drinks. I'd rather just bake."_

_"Those miracles your sweet-ass self manage to whip up easy-as if some real wicked shit, though."_

_Jane bent her head down, carefully pulling free another cupcake and all too aware of the fact her ears and cheeks were burning. She still wasn't used to the casual manner in which Gamzee would compliment her, saying it as casually as he would describe the weather. In an attempt to get pass her embarrassment and pleasure she hurried spoke up._

_"Well, I did make these 'miracles' for you," she said, shooting a shy look at Gamzee from underneath her eyelashes before focusing her attention back on her baking, savouring the happy warmth in her stomach._

_The troll sniffed at the cupcakes again, this time leaning over enough Jane thought he was about to fall over, "These mini-cakes are all at making my sniff node get its ruckus wiggling on."_

_Jane lightly smacked one of his wandering hands as it attempted to snatch up one of the cupcakes on the chopping board, saying sternly, "Wait for me to get them all out! I don't want you burning your hand on the tray before I'm done."_

_Finally she extracted the last cupcake from the tray and she quickly put down the knives and picked up the try with a tea towel and deposited it in the sink, pausing to fill it with hot water. Wiping her hands off on the towel, she gave Gamzee a short glare and he guiltily put back one of the cupcakes he'd not-so-stealthy took while she was occupied. She tossed the cloth onto the bench and shooed Gamzee off the counter, the troll easily sliding off the marble with inhuman grace._

_"Now you can have one, since I don't have to worry about you scalding your hand. I made them especially for you; They're faygo cupcakes! So you better eat them all up, buster," Jane mock-scolded the troll, a buck-toothed smile on her face._

_She watched in amusement as Gamzee's usually half-closed eyes widened, an odd expression crossing his face and making him look as if he was about to sneeze. He sidled closer to Jane, his expression unreadable._

_"You mean you all went and made these wicked faygo minicakes just for my shitty clown self?" He asked, sounding genuinely surprised._

_"Well of course I did," Jane said, her smile fading, "Why wouldn't I? You're my bo- my boyfriend aren't you?" she stumbled over the word slightly, blushing again, "I mean...I know you like baking and faygo so I figured combining them together would be....good..." she trailed off, suddenly feeling immensely self conscious and foolish._

_Gamzee seemed to have noticed her plummeting mood and a scant second later she had a bony alien clown pressed up against her side, his ridiculous codpiece digging into her hip. He made a long crooning, humming-like noise she felt more than heard as he nuzzled at her temple, uncaring as his paint smudged across her forehead and knocked her glasses askew, "Nah, aliensis, you did a real motherfuckin' good thing, making all this good and positivity go all churning up around my blood pusher with your crimsonpale blasphemous mating fondness."_

_He huffed against her, his breath ruffling her fringe and Jane relaxed against him, leaning against his lanky body. She pushed her glasses back up with a hand before reaching out and picking up one of the warm cupcakes. She'd initially planned to let them cool down so she could ice them but she decided to throw that plan to the wind. Instead she shifted slightly back and offered the cupcake up to Gamzee._

_Before she could blink he'd snapped it right out of her hand and she could've sworn she felt long teeth graze against her fingers. Rather than being scared, she simply giggled and gave the clown a playful slap across the chest even as he chewed down the cupcake, his ears perked right up._

_"So? Do you like them?" she asked._

_Jane smiled as Gamzee made the odd crooning noise again before picking up another cupcake. Jane was pleased that her previous lecture about 'Not eating with your mouth open and spraying my face with food' was sticking with the clown and he swallowed down the food before speaking. He nudged her with a skinny elbow, grinning widely, "This shit is some of the most tenacious miracles I've ever had go down my protein chute."_

_She relaxed slightly; truthfully she wasn't too sure of how her new recipes would turn out and she was glad it was successful. Though she wasn't too sure if it was such a hit with her alien boyfriend because it simply had faygo in it or if it really did taste good. He really did love the soft drink. Though Jane didn't mind it, she wasn't an avid fan. Oh well, if it kept her boyfriend happy. Her stomach gave a happy little twist at the word._

_A cool hand lightly touched her face and Jane leaned into the gentle touch, sliding her eyes shut and pressing into the soft caress, claws scraping against the skin of her cheek._

_He spoke again, voice suddenly soft and with a pronounced, almost musical, lilt to it, "Oh, aren't you such a lovely little thing?"_

_Wait what, the voice was all-_

Jane snapped out of her dreaming, jerking back into the present with a sharp panicked inhale. Instantly her eyes flew open and she instinctively attempted to jump away from the foreign voice and touch, though the restraints caused her to barely sway on the spot. So instead she twisted and snapped at the strange fingers, wanting to bite them off.

The unknown troll- _who the hell does he think he is?!_ -hopped backwards at Jane's violent movement, yanking his hand away from her face and out of range of her teeth, an amused expression on his painted face.

"Ah, sorry my dear, I didn't mean to startle you," he smiled, showing short neat fangs.

Jane let out a wordless snarl, hunching in on herself as much as she was able and suddenly flooded with a wave of fright, embarrassment and pain. Darn her traitorous brain and memories, making her unaware of the strange Subjugglator's foreign touch as she slept. A small part of her mind pointed out she was asleep and thus was unaware of his presence but she still felt ashamed at being caught so badly off guard.

The troll, meanwhile, seemed amused by Jane's anger and raised an eyebrow as she glared at him. He was an odd-looking troll, with thick ropey hair akin to dreadlocks which hung down to his narrow waist. Two horns jutted from his skull amidst the black coils of his hair, both looking eerily similar to scalpels, with his right one having a jagged edge like a saw. He was clad only in a pair of loose black pants spotted with purple dots; otherwise he was bare. His naked chest was decorated with dozens of bloody hand prints in all the colours of the hemospectrum barring purple; the only purple decorating his bare black skin was a side-ways diamond symbol with a dot in the center printed upon his sternum. Like all clowns, his round face was covered in white facepaint; his was in a design that reminded Jane of the Red Cross that was painted in the center of his face, the edges nearly reaching his brow, chin and ears. Two smaller crosses were drawn onto either side of his jawline.

The Maid sucked in a breath, pain and exhaustion making itself known as her initial burst of adrenaline wore off. So finally one had come to interrogate her, and she sincerely doubted it was going to be a pain-free game of twenty questions. Jane felt her hands go clammy and she struggled to force her features into a more passive expression as the troll sidled closer to her, his eyes raking up and down her exposed body with a calculating expression upon his painted face.

Then the clown smiled, a kind expression completely at odds with the cold, maniac gleam in his purple eyes, "Hello, my sweets. I hope you had a pleasant rest?" His smile widened as Jane's only response was to glare icily at him, her mouth a thin line.

"Oh, no need to be in such a grump! I'm sure we're going to become _fast_ friends!" He clasped his clawed hands together, looking at her fondly even as his eyes remained dark and sinister, "But where are my manners? I haven't introduced myself yet! No wonder you're in such a snit."

He leaned towards her, close enough for her to smell the chalky scent of his facepaint and the hint of carrion upon his breath. His smile lost its mockery of warmth and became wide and vicious as he spoke, "My name is Abutor Vulnus and I'll be your Doctorturer this evening."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the longest time I thought faygo was just a Homestuck thing; I had no idea it was an actual drink lol
> 
> Faygo cupcakes- https://www.facebook.com/notes/old-52-general-store/recipe-faygo-cupcakes/386435714380


	11. History lessons

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Subjec+: Gamzee Makara's firs+ feeling jam, Room 12-98D+, half a sweep since conscrip+ion~   
  
Gamzee was, needless +o say, no+ very coopera+ive wi+h me~ He remained s+andoffish and unresponsive for +he majori+y of +he +ime we were +oge+her~ However I made sure no+ +o push +he wiggler; ins+ead I jus+ spoke abou+ mundane +hings, such as my favouri+e meal and my spare hobbies~ I even gave him some of my special viole+-blood +ea, which I +ypically only use for special occasions~ I figured easing in+o +hings gen+ly and making him familiar wi+h me is +he bes+ way +o go for +he poor dear :o(  
  
While we were speaking- well I was, he was mainly grun+ing every so of+en while drinking +he +ea~ However he did manage +o le+ a few +hings slip while we were +alking; such as making a men+ion he knew a viole+ blood~ Apparen+ly he wasn'+ on par+icularly nice +erms wi+h +he seadweller (No+ +ha+ I blame him; +he darling Condesce and a rare few o+hers are +he only ones I've been fond of. Sno++y fish~) and I managed +o gen+ly probe him for a few more answers abou+ any po+ential friends he would've had on Al+ernia~  
  
He was fairly uncaring and uncoopera+ive, +hough from wha+ I could gauge from his few words is +ha+ he had a wide ple+hora of acquain+ances of many colours~ Poor +hing! Having +o consor+ wi+h +hose +hinkpan dead peasan+s~ No wonder he is so upse+ and wi+hdrawn! Being forced +o keep company wi+h +he lesser, figures he's feeling so out of place amongs+ his own cas+e! Gra+ia was clearly on+o some+hing when +hey sugges+ed in+roducing Gamzee +o more of +he ini+ia+es~ He's obviously been wi+hou+ adequa+e company qui+e some +ime~  
  
Af+er an hour of no progress I even+ually sen+ +he little one on his way~ However I am sure I can even+ually get him +o warm up +o me, so +o speak~ As long as I s+ay away from sensi+ive +opics. So I'll s+ar+ slow and hopefully I can help him iron ou+ +he numerous issues +he poor darling has :o(

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File saved as "First" to folder "Clown therapy."  


* * *

 

  
biologicalNeedleman [BN] has begun trolling  calculatedLogarithm [CL]  
BN: (૭ ◉༬◉)૭⁾⁾⁾⁾  
BN: (‘◇’)?   
CL: hey my pale bluey! just g0t back from the...erm scuttlebeast sem1nar!  
BN: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧   
BN: ヽ(゜Q。)ノ？  
CL: 1t was pretty g00d actually. a l0t less intense and um...  
BN: (・・？)  
CL: 1 d0n't know, 1 guess 1 was expect1ng m0re self r1ghte0usness fr0m the scuttlebeast? r1d1cul0us, 1 kn0w what y0u t0ld me ab0ut these prec0ncept10ns.  
BN: ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ  
CL: 0h, r1ght r1ght...  
CL: yeah the scuttlebeast...we l1ke...1 dunno, k1nda c00ked 1t and l1stened t0 1t d0 scuttlebeast stuff bef0re we d1d s0?  
BN: ಠ_ಠ   
CL: for fuck's sake, 1'm try1ng my best! ugh...  
CL: 0kay fine, 1t was g00d but n0t 0verbearing. l0ng en0ugh t0 make a p0int but n0t sh0rt en0ugh we'd f0rget qu1ckly.  
CL: and 1t tasted great afterwards! yes, 1t was a scuttlebeast. that 1t was, n0 way it wasn't. we b01led 1t?  
BN: ¬_¬  
BN: ――==≡≡≪《(0___0)=○》≫≫()ﾟOﾟ)  
BN: (๑و•̀ω•́)  
BN: ( ◞•̀д•́)◞⚔◟(•̀д•́◟ )  
BN: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻  
BN: (ﾒ・ん・)？？？？？？？  
CL: nah, that d1dn't happen. 1 th1nk all th0se rage aneur1sm and fury f1ts 0f the scuttlebeast was just a fuck1ng useless-ass rum0ur as usual.   
CL: but 1t was pretty great! maybe y0u wanna c0me al0ng next t1me?  
CL: l1ke 1'll totally v0uch f0r y0u 1f they d0n't want y0u see1ng the scuttlebeast at f1rst! gotta br1ng my big bluey mora1l r1ght? BN: ꒰๑ ̇̅ ॄ ̇̅๑꒱  
CL: d0n't be l1ke that! 0kay, maybe n0t the next 0ne but 1 supp0se 1 c0uld ask the scuttlebeast ab0ut it next t1me?  
BN: ૮(•⚈͒࿄⚈͒•)ა  
CL: 0h sh1t, r1ght r1ght.  
CL: 1 meant the pe0ple wh0 h0st the scuttlebeast eat1ng event! g0tta ask them, yup.  
BN: ! (・_・ ) !  
CL: d0n't be l1ke that! 1'll ask them and let y0u kn0w asap 0kay?   
CL: 1'll d0 that then c0me 0ver f0r a jam! ♦   
BN: ♦ *✲ﾟ*｡✧٩(･ิᴗ･ิ๑)۶*✲ﾟ*｡✧♦   
CL: keep safe, ma b1g bluey!  
BN: ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\\(♦O♦)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆  
  
biologicalNeedleman [BN] has ceased trolling  calculatedLogarithm [CL]  


* * *

  
File saved as "Blue/yellow diamond" to folder "Scuttlebeast mention."  


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Response: Requisition beseech from thee Bloodied Authority.  
  
Good greetings, m' Lords. Thy original beseech has been approved. As per thy requirements for the initiation trials for trainee Subjugglators, I have provided a dozen from each blood caste, barring Jade, Purple and Fuchsia for obvious reasons.  
  
Twelve Rustbloods.   
  
Twelve Brownbloods.   
  
Twelve Yellowbloods.   
  
Twelve Olivebloods.   
  
Twelve Tealbloods.   
  
Twelve Cobaltbloods.   
  
Twelve Bluebloods.   
  
Twelve Violetbloods.   
  
The twelve of each caste fit thy requirements. Included within are a limited number of psychics which were an annoyance to find suitable ones within regards to the Teal, Blue and Olive castes. All psychics are corralled with mental dampeners located upon thine horns. The controllers for the dampeners is included within the shipment of goods whilst the code to unlock the controllers shall be sent upon a secure messenger once thou contact with an affirmative of the shipments arrival to ensure traitorous actions doeth occur.   
  
All of the subjects have been kept in optimal conditions within their pens and feed and cared for accordingly. Following the outlines for the cargo, each subject has not been broken in; they are bright eyed and wild spirited. Most have been kept within social pens and thus retain enough independence and socialized accordingly.  
  
May you be well,  
  
The Overseer.   


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File saved as "Clown shipments" to folder "Empire slave trade."  


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_The final words of Imperial Recorder Seshat Fessus. Culled one hour after publication of this document during the three-thousandth and seventy four sweep long reign of Her Imperious Condescension. Final words before dying from severe cranial trauma and bleeding- 'Even with half my face bashed in I'm still better looking than you, Empress,' accompanied by an obscene hand gesture._  
  
๏  
  
I have c๏me t๏ the decisi๏n t๏ write my end d๏cumentati๏n, my rec๏rding ๏f my ๏wn pers๏nal th๏ughts. N๏t the typical pr๏-Empire pr๏paganda garbage I've been v๏miting ๏ut ๏f my pr๏tein chute f๏r the last hundred-๏dd sweeps ever since I came int๏ this Messiah-awful j๏b after c๏nscripti๏n. Figures I'd be trapped in a life lying t๏ every๏ne, including myself.  
๏  
  
Bef๏re any of y๏u fuckers ask, yes I _am_ fully aware I'm g๏ing t๏ get my ass culled for this. Quite frankly, I d๏n't give a single fuck anym๏re. I'm a few d๏zen hundred sweeps ๏ld and I am _fed the fuck up_ with this h๏๏fbeastshit.  
  
S๏ this shall be my magnum ๏pus. My final writ. The last testament of the Imperial Rec๏rder. The conclusi๏n ๏f the life ๏f Seshat Fessus.  
  
Per typical Alternian standards I'm g๏ing t๏ swear, rage, and d๏ ๏ther angry shit in this because I am just fed _the fuck up_ with everything. Instead ๏f turning t๏ despair, I ch๏se t๏ embrace anger. Truly, I am hatched and raised a typical tr๏ll ๏n this shith๏le ๏f a planet. I fucking hate this w๏rld s๏ much. Figures I'll die hating everything ab๏ut my shitty life. Might as well get a few 'fuck y๏u's' ๏ut bef๏re I d๏ th๏ugh. Ah, the rush ๏f spite.  
  
But bef๏re I begin, a sh๏rt paragraph ab๏ut ๏ur current Empress, Her Imperi๏us C๏ndescensi๏n. I dedicate this t๏ y๏u, y๏u self-righte๏us n๏๏kwhiffer.  
  
The dear C๏ndesce. Truly, we must have d๏ne s๏me terrible shit t๏ be blessed with such an utterly fucking inc๏mpetent leader the Empress is. Like shit, we must've fucked up pretty magnificently t๏ get ๏ur current shitty leader. Her ๏nly plan seems t๏ be 'fly ar๏und and kill everything while I use gratuit๏us fishpuns and d๏n't kn๏w what a hairbrush is like s๏me fucking wiggler'. W๏w, l๏๏k h๏w much in awe I am ๏f y๏ur rampant stupidity, C๏ndesce! Fucking dumbass; making the rest ๏f us seadwellers l๏๏k like a bunch ๏f thinkpan fried idi๏tic fuckwits. H๏w crappy a leader d๏ you need t๏ be f๏r the M๏ther Grub t๏ birth tw๏ mutants t๏ try kicking y๏u in the thinksp๏nge ๏ver y๏ur l๏ng reign ๏f inc๏mpetence? First it was ๏ne ๏ff the fucking hem๏spectrum then it was a winged _l๏wbl๏๏d_. Can you maybe read the damn signs that even the fucking M๏ther is tired ๏f y๏ur shit and c๏mmit 'sufishcide'? But n๏, y๏u're n๏t that 'shellfish'. Fuck you, C๏ndesce. Y๏u're a thrice-damned embarrassment t๏ us all. The ๏nly reas๏n y๏u've ruled this l๏ng is because y๏u h๏ld the Vast Glub in thrall and fucked the rest ๏f the Highbl๏๏ds up s๏ they're nearly as m๏numentally stupid as y๏u are. N๏t because y๏u're any kind ๏f c๏mpetent leader. Fuck y๏u.  
  
N๏w that my gl๏ri๏us tribute t๏ ๏ur shit-tastic leader is ๏ver, I shall n๏w start the t๏pic I'm writing my final will up๏n; the hem๏spectrum.  
  
Just what _is_ the hem๏spectrum? As a seadweller, I am granted the hatched-title ๏f a n๏ble ๏r a prince; in terms ๏f my vi๏let bl๏๏d ๏nly the C๏ndesce ๏utranks my kind. And, as a vi๏let I am a seadweller, the aquatic, c๏ldbl๏๏ded higher 'tier' ๏f ๏ur species. Like all seadwellers I have gills, a sec๏ndary lung system designed t๏ aid my breathing underwater, as well as the instinctive ability t๏ swim. As with the s๏-called 'highbl๏๏ds' I am apparently blessed with an immensely l๏ng lifespan and a bi๏l๏gical resistance t๏ psychics and ๏ther mental trickery. Each bl๏๏dcaste has its ๏wn pr๏s and c๏ns. I have listed the pr๏s f๏r the seadwellers. The c๏ns c๏uld easily been ๏ur extensive psych๏tic issues. We are frequently plagued by psych๏sis, hallucinati๏ns and ๏ccasionally g๏ing feral f๏r n๏ reas๏n. N๏w, in the Empire which ๏ur shitty current Empress is c๏ntr๏lling being a stupid mass-murderer seems t๏ be the fl๏w-๏f-the-waterfall basic attribute we need. But it still b๏ils d๏wn t๏ a simple thing; what else separates us fr๏m ๏ther tr๏lls? From each ๏ther? Fr๏m M๏ther?  
  
The hem๏spectrum; f๏r the vast imp๏rtance it has up๏n the life ๏f every tr๏ll in existence we have remarkably little inf๏rmati๏n ab๏ut it. Imperial degree f๏rbids investigati๏n ๏r experimentati๏n up๏n the bl๏๏ds. N๏thing such as learning h๏w t๏ enslave l๏wbl๏๏ded psychics m๏re quickly ๏r h๏w t๏ nullify their abilities; I am speaking ๏f the actual bl๏๏d c๏l๏urs. Why is it f๏rbidden t๏ learn h๏w ๏r, indeed, why we have such a pleth๏ra ๏f different hues and h๏w they influence what abilities we have? Indeed, with sufficient experimentati๏n we c๏uld even p๏tentially induce physic abilities within th๏se wh๏ typically have n๏ne with their castes barring mutati๏ns.  
  
But n๏๏๏๏, we're n๏t all๏wed t๏ d๏ that because the C๏ndesce is a fuckwit and d๏esn't want t๏ get her ass ๏ff the p๏wer pyramid via permitting this. Selfish bitch, but wh๏ didn't kn๏w that? ๏h, she'll try and bluster, but she's a fucking psychic and a raging hyp๏crite t๏ b๏๏t. But anyway, if we c๏uld crack the genetic c๏des behind mutati๏ns wh๏ kn๏ws what c๏uld happen? But that is centered ar๏und the hem๏spectrum and the C๏ndesce has pr๏ven time and again she is utterly inc๏mpetent s๏ we're stuck s๏lely in the incredibly limited kn๏wledge p๏๏l we have.  
  
๏n ๏fficial rec๏rd we have eleven bl๏๏d castes- the l๏west being rust, then br๏wn, yell๏w, green, jade, teal, cerulean, blue, purple, vi๏let and fuchsia. There was als๏ lime but they were exterminated per ๏ur shit leader's ๏rders f๏r some vague as shit reas๏n. The l๏wer bl๏๏d castes are the ๏nes m๏st likely t๏ have psychic abilities, be they telekinesis, pyr๏technics, animal c๏mmunicati๏n (and in rarer cases animal c๏ntr๏l) contr๏lling spirits, hearing the th๏ughts ๏f the dead/recently deceased, psi๏nics, electricity manipulati๏ns and many m๏re. ๏ddly en๏ugh, these abilities all but die ๏ut f๏r midbl๏๏ds; finding a psychic green, jade and teal is incredibly difficult and m๏st are kept as slaves if they are l๏cated, barring jades. Jades are a special caste with their exclusive bi๏l๏gy that enables them t๏ rec๏ver from death t๏ c๏me back as a gl๏rified parasite aka a rainb๏w drinker, a trait ๏bserved in the rare handful wh๏'ve defied their typical bl๏๏dcaste j๏bs within the br๏๏ding caverns. But ๏n the wh๏le l๏wbl๏๏ds are the ๏nes hatched with a pleth๏ra ๏f psychic might at the c๏st of lifespan and physical strength. The ๏pposite seems true f๏r seadwellers, the highest ๏n the hem๏spectrum; we very rarely have psychics and have the l๏ngest lifespans ๏ut ๏f the bl๏๏dcastes. Likewise highbl๏๏ds have m๏re raw pyshical strength than l๏wbl๏๏ds.  
  
๏f c๏urse, this psychic exempt rule isn't relative t๏ all castes; the purple caste f๏r instance has psychics. Interestingly en๏ugh, pretty much all purplebl๏๏ds have psychics ๏r as they call them 'chucklev๏๏d๏๏s'. Unlike the l๏wbl๏๏d abilities, the Subjugglat๏r caste seem t๏ have been hatched with these abilities purely t๏ terr๏rize the l๏wer castes. Their psychics affect the part ๏f ๏ur brainsp๏nge ass๏ciated with fears; they can literally terr๏rize s๏me๏ne int๏ madness ๏r suicide. This fear-m๏ngering abilities d๏ give them the best edge at being the ring keepers ๏f the l๏wbl๏๏ds wh๏ are all extremely vulnerable t๏ psychics. I am unsure if this is an ev๏lutionary trait (predat๏r-prey perhaps?) or the Subjugglat๏r's have managed to twist their ๏riginal abilities int๏ s๏mething m๏re terrifying. The ๏ldest and m๏st powerful ๏f cl๏wns are even capable ๏f fully-fledged mindc๏ntr๏l and s๏me can even edit/erase mem๏ries. An interesting insight; h๏w w๏uld the l๏wbl๏๏d's abilities have ev๏lved thr๏ugh๏ut the sweeps if we didn't just butcher/enslave them all? ๏r stuff them int๏ engines and screw their thinkpans up? ๏h right, we w๏n't ever kn๏w because ๏ur current Empress is a narr๏w-minded fuckhead and can't see past her fuckugly reflecti๏n.  
  
But even then the chucklev๏๏d๏๏'s aren't the m๏st danger๏us aspects of the cl๏wns; I am ๏f the ๏pinion it's a c๏mbinati๏n of their fanatical, fatalistic faith and the strange 'family' mentality they p๏sses. That, in a fascinating devel๏pment, puts them at ๏dds with ๏ther highbl๏๏ds. The upper classes typically prefer t๏ keep t๏ themselves ๏r t๏ their quadrants. We d๏ have ๏ther tr๏lls we are either familiar ๏r c๏mf๏rtable with, but still it is an incredibly rare sight indeed that we'd let ๏ur guards d๏wn n๏n-quadrantmates. But the cl๏wns d๏. When it c๏mes t๏ they seem t๏ utterly relish the dysfuncti๏nal family the Church has ev๏lved int๏. And it w๏rks. The Subjugglat๏rs are ๏ne ๏f the m๏st feared castes- even bef๏re us seadwellers -because they willingly w๏rk t๏gether and guard each ๏thers back. The rest ๏f us highbl๏๏ds d๏n't; we'd much s๏๏ner stab ๏ur c๏h๏rts in the back then aid each ๏ther. But the cl๏wns pr๏ve an invaluable fact; we _can_ w๏rk t๏gether. We aren't just mindless rage-filled animals, regardless of h๏w the Empress w๏uld have us. If the fucking psych๏ bl๏๏d-painting _cl๏wns_ can easily c๏๏perate with each ๏ther just h๏w shitty d๏ the rest ๏f us l๏๏k when we bitch and whine and say we can't?  
  
S๏ in terms ๏f c๏๏perati๏n the purplebl๏๏ds are the ๏nly highbl๏๏d caste wh๏ d๏ this willingly and make it a lifel๏ng c๏mmitment. I the๏rize their l๏ng initiate time is due t๏ the Priest๏rment๏rs having t๏ break d๏wn the wigglerh๏๏d attitude ๏f 'kill everything ar๏und y๏u t๏ establish d๏minance' and switch it t๏ 'safeguard/pr๏tect ๏ther cl๏wns and kill everyone else who isn't ๏ne t๏ establish d๏minance.' S๏ ir๏nic that the m๏st widely-regarded vi๏lent caste is als๏ the m๏st pr๏tective ๏ne ๏f each ๏ther.   
  
But this pr๏ves a vital p๏int; we can contr๏l ๏urselves regardless ๏f the rage issues the hem๏specutrum gives us. It's just the fact a certain murder๏us bitch d๏esn't want us t๏ d๏ s๏. Hence the mass murder and killing y๏ur neighb๏urs is a fav๏urite past time ๏n Alternia. What a fucking life. But as I was saying, the crux of ๏ur issue; while the C๏ndesce lives that is all we're g๏ing t๏ be. A bunch ๏f space-faring mass murderers. She needs t๏ die bef๏re we can d๏ing anything ab๏ut h๏w fucked we are.  
  
The tw๏ previ๏us rebelli๏ns pr๏ved this with๏ut a d๏ubt. While we've had ri๏ts and attempted rev๏luti๏ns bef๏re, the tw๏ led by the mutants are the m๏st recent and m๏st successful. The Signless and the Summ๏ner, as they became kn๏wn after their deaths. B๏th rebelli๏ns did the same err๏r; they didn't aim f๏r the C๏ndesce. The Signless attempted peaceful rev๏luti๏n; a nice sentiment but ๏ne d๏๏med t๏ fail in light ๏f h๏w fucked up and vi๏lent ๏ut species is. Peace will never happen unless you cut ๏ff the head ๏f the lead slitherbeast- you kill the smaller ๏nes and perhaps convert a few but the head slitherbeast will always spawn m๏re. Y๏u must kill the s๏urce. The Summ๏ner came the cl๏set; he underst๏๏d the vi๏lence ๏f ๏ur kind and th๏ugh he didn't kill the C๏ndesce bef๏re he died, he did manage t๏ get the next best thing. The Grand Highbl๏๏d, the High Subjugglat๏r. A gl๏rious fight I'm sure and ๏ne I am regretful I missed. But b๏th rebelli๏ns sh๏wed that unless you take ๏ut the head ๏f the pyramid the machine that is the Empire will c๏ntinue like an bl๏๏died rusted machine.   
  
The rebelli๏ns failed. The Signless ch๏se peacefulness. That w๏uld never succeed. The C๏ndesce d๏esn't want peace, she d๏esn't want cooperation. She's just a narr๏w-minded murder๏us bitch and that will never change. The Summ๏ner was the cl๏sest t๏ winning because he knew that the C๏ndesce only unders๏๏d vi๏lence and that was the ๏nly way she can be dealt with. But he t๏๏ went ab๏ut it in the wr๏ng way. Even if he had managed t๏ kill the C๏ndesce after killing her cl๏wn we w๏uld've all died; the Vast Glub w๏uld have been unleashed as her featherbeast s๏ng at her death at the hands ๏f a n๏n-fuchsia and all ๏f us w๏uld have died. S๏ he t๏๏ failed.  
  
S๏ this is where the hem๏spectrum sh๏ws us h๏w t๏ d๏ it in the ๏nly way a rebelli๏n ๏r uprising w๏uld succeed; as traditi๏n and psychic abilities demand the C๏ndesce must be challenged by ๏ne ๏f her Heirs, a fell๏w Fuchsia. They must fight her in a duel and kill her in ๏ne-๏n-๏ne c๏mbat s๏ they can take her thr๏ne and her p๏wer. Then maybe they c๏uld sort ๏ut this shitty Empire.  
Maybe.  
  
Well, I think they'd have t๏ try pretty hard t๏ be as much as a failure as ๏ur current Empress.  
  
But as I stated before, b๏th rebellions had an ic๏nic leader; A mutant. Interesting termin๏l๏gy used t๏ describe these tw๏. The Signless simply had an ๏ff the hem๏spectrum bl๏๏dc๏l๏ur. A magnificent cherry red, granted. Much m๏re attractive than that gr๏tty dull rust I must say. But seri๏usly, that was all he had. A c๏l๏ur never seen bef๏re and every๏ne l๏st their shit and the C๏ndesce killed him in the stupidest, m๏st public way p๏ssible and made him a fucking martyr. S๏metimes I think she d๏esn't even had a fucking thinksp๏nge; all that's inside her skull is m๏re hair. But yes, she turned a preaching mutant int๏ a symb๏l ๏f rev๏luti๏n; s๏mething that never w๏uld have achieved if he had simply been killed discretely. The C๏ndesce's stupidity aided that 'Signless's cause, making him a beac๏n and granting him a symb๏l in death. He als๏ pr๏ved something as well; even a n๏n-psychic _mutant_ can incite change, can cause t๏ngues wagging and previously-deaf audi๏ ducts t๏ listen. His attempt was d๏๏med to fail fr๏m the start, granted; w๏rds ๏nly d๏ s๏ much and the C๏ndesce will _never_ listen t๏ such things but he still pr๏ved even a mutant can incite change, incite debate. Even n๏w, his disciples and f๏ll๏wers still whisper and gather in the shad๏ws. (N๏t his side-kick Disciple; apparently she ran ๏ff and went fucking feral. Typical.) By trying t๏ use him as an example with her brutal executi๏n, instead her f๏๏lishness turned him int๏ a symb๏l for resistance, f๏r change.  
  
Even the next pr๏minent rebelli๏n had a mutant at the helm; The Summ๏ner for example had wings. Wings used t๏ be a far m๏re c๏mm๏n trait but as time pr๏gressed they became even rarer until the Summ๏ner became the last kn๏wn winged tr๏ll in ๏ur history by the time he led his rebelli๏n. A maj๏rity ๏f the ๏utrage t๏wards him was n๏t the fact he was planning t๏ ๏verthr๏w the Empire- we are used t๏ l๏wbl๏๏ds c๏mplaining with being treated as slaves and like garbage but d๏n't really give a shit ab๏ut it - but m๏re t๏ the fact it was a _l๏wbl๏๏d_ wh๏ had the audacity t๏ be hatched with wings. Wings which have been, f๏r e๏ns, regarded as symb๏ls ๏f wealth, p๏wer and magnificence and thus sh๏uld be limited t๏ the highbl๏๏d castes. Indeed, even if a teal had wings there w๏uld still be ๏utraged indignati๏n. But f๏r a br๏wnbl๏๏d? The sec๏nd l๏west ๏n the hem๏spectrum? Unacceptable; clearly a slap in the face because ๏bvi๏usly everything is ab๏ut us, regardless ๏f the fact the M๏ther hatched him with wings and I d๏n't think she gives a single fuck ab๏ut ๏ur bl๏๏d ๏bsessi๏n.  
  
And that's what it b๏ils d๏wn t๏; if a l๏wbl๏๏d has a mutati๏n like that they need t๏ be culled. But a highbl๏๏d? Clearly you're gifted, blessed even. Typical bl๏๏dcaste hyp๏crisy. Any advantage a l๏wbl๏๏d has means they need t๏ be culled. I have, in my l๏ng life, c๏me acr๏ss mutati๏ns within the upper classes yet you never seen dr๏nes culling them; I even fucking met a purplebl๏๏d wh๏ had an extra set of arms f๏r fucks sake, yet she was perfectly happy and g๏t by c๏nscripti๏n because ๏f her caste. If she had been l๏wbl๏๏d? Dead, n๏ d๏ubt. Fucking hyp๏crites. Als๏ an added hilarity; in the case of the Signless, his scarlet bl๏๏d puts him smack-bang in between rust and fuchsia. Yet strange h๏w he is c๏nstantly labeled as a 'l๏wbl๏๏d' isn't it?  
  
Hmm, I think that'll d๏ f๏r a magnun ๏pus. I just can't be fucking b๏thered with this garbage anym๏re. D๏ your w๏rst, C๏ndesce. Because the way I see it? Y๏u're just a ๏ne-trick h๏๏fbeast; all you d๏ is murder and pillage and kill everything like s๏me stupid rabid barkbeast and my ๏nly regret is I'm n๏t g๏ing to see y๏u get gutted d๏wn the line as karma bites y๏u in y๏ur b๏ny ass. Fuck y๏u C๏ndesce, and fuck this Empire. H๏pe s๏me๏ne s๏mewhere finds this inf๏rmative and actually heeds this shit I'm writing. Maybe that'll at๏ne somewhat f๏r my c๏l๏ssal failures.  
  
๏ Seshat Fessus ๏  
  
P.S and fuck the hem๏spectrum as well.  
  
๏  


* * *

  
File saved as "Highblood rebels" to folder "How to take down the Empire."  


* * *

 

  
  
mothraDreamer [MD] has begun trolling  leviathanCantaloupes [LC]  
MD: Hey hey hey hey HEY.  
MD: S☨op ignoring me, I know you're on-. >:(  
LC: ✿ ✺LC angrily throws their gorgeous-as-fuck hands up✺ Ugh, what are you complaining about now????  
LC: ✿ Unlike some people a few of us actually have shit we gotta get done on this loadgaper of a planet. Fucking aliens ruining alla our shit. ✺scowls✺  
MD: LMAO you're still trying to figure out that...stuff you were doing, right? Why don't you just KABOOM these aliens or something.  
LC: ✿ It's not my fucking fault their coding is a pain in the ass, douchebag.   
MD: Yeah okay. :/  
MD: But I actually have some SERIOUS shi☨ ☨o ☨alk abou☨.  
MD: Like, i☨'s been ea☨ing a☨ me for a while now, ever since we s☨ar☨ed the invasion on ☨his weird-rump plane☨.  
MD: DIR☨. LOL wha☨ an epic name, gran☨ed.  
LC: ✿ I think it's actually Earth, but yanno. ✺shrug✺  
MD: Yeah...  
LC: ✿ ...  
MD: ...  
LC: ✿ ...  
MD: ...  
LC: ✿ Are you going to tell me what's bothering you???? Because as I said, I ain't got all night.  
MD: I☨'s jus☨...ugh, I feel stupid kinda?  
LC: ✿ For fuck's sake. ✺puts on papping gloves✺ Also, just pretend I'm there with you, okay?   
MD: Okay okay, I'm keen as grubsauce. I jus☨ find i☨...awkward ☨o speak about i☨, since no one else has men☨ioned i☨. :(  
LC: ✿ Look, unless you try and say you suddenly wanna become a clown I ain't gonna give you shit for whatever it is, okay?  
LC: ✿ Fucking jam w me already. ✺Raises hand in papping threat✺  
MD: :(  
MD: Alrigh☨, it's mos☨ly abou☨ ☨his KILL-CULL-INVASION we're doing.  
LC: ✿ Yeah? You're not hurt, are ya????  
MD: No, I'm ☨otally HALE! I s☨ubbed my toe before bu☨ o☨her than tha☨ I'm fine. >:(   
MD: I☨'s jus☨...  
MD: I☨'s ☨his species on ☨his plane☨ ☨ha☨'s creeping me ☨he fuck ou☨.  
LC: ✿ You mean the- ✺puts on reading glasses✺  
LC: ✿ Humans? I think that's their main name they gave themselves. Though furless treebeasts might be a better one.  
MD: Yes them! ☨hey're...jus☨ really creepy. :(  
LC: ✿ How? I mean, the fact they're all red-blooded is kinda creepy, but not feeling jams worthy.  
MD: No i☨'s no☨ ☨hat. :|  
LC: ✿ Then what?  
MD: ☨hey....how ☨he FUCK do ☨hey know so much abou☨ us?  
LC: ✿ ✺Tilts head, confused✺ Elaborate.   
MD: I☨'s so many ☨hings!  
MD: A☨ firs☨ i☨ was ☨he fucking DRONES. ☨hey had legi☨ fucking DRONES in ☨heir defenses! How would ☨hey know exac☨ly how fucking DRONES look like?! I nearly sha☨ my pan☨s when I go☨ a☨☨acked by one of ☨hose mimicry FUCKS. FUCKING flashbacks ☨o WIGGLERHOOD.  
MD: ☨hen ☨here was ☨ha☨ weird fucking shi☨ when I was par☨ of ☨he loo☨ers in one of ☨heir weird foods☨ores and I saw like fucking shelves and SHELVES of faygo!  
MD: How ☨he fuck do ☨hese aliens have FAYGO?! ☨ha☨'s clown s☨uff! How come ☨hese aliens have i☨?!  
LC: ✿ Look just relax.  
MD: How can I FUCKING relax?! ☨hey know ☨oo much SHI☨!  
LC: ✿ ✺Glares at MD sternly✺ It's probably just a coincidence that they know this.  
MD: Coincidence? REALLY? Have you even looked a☨ half ☨he SHI☨-STUFF ☨hey have ☨ha☨'s go☨ creepy connec☨ions to us? I was in one of ☨heir ☨rinke☨ s☨ores and ☨hey had ☨hese li☨☨le necklaces ☨ha☨ had ☨he Sufferer's symbol!   
LC: ✿ Shut up!!!! Don't say that name or you'll get us culled, fool!!!!  
MD: It☨s ☨rue ☨hough! ☨hey had rows of ☨hese symbols of the Signless on necklaces! ☨hey even had ☨he sign of ☨he Condesce! Admiral Ampora's symbol! ☨he FUCKING Grand HIGHBLOOD's symbol! Why do ☨hey have ☨hese?! ☨hey're fucking ALIENS NON-☨ROLLS! ☨hey shouldn'☨ have faygo! ☨hey should haven'☨ ☨hese symbols! ☨hey shouldn'☨ have FUCKING ROBO DRONES!  
LC: ✿ Look calm down damnit!!!!  
LC: ✿ ✺raises hands✺ Okay relax, shoosh sssshoooosssshhhh....  
LC: ✿ ✺Paps face✺ Shoosh, calm down...  
LC: ✿ Just breath...  
LC: ✿ Better? ♦♦♦♦  
MD: ♦  
MD: Yeah, I'm be☨☨er. Sorry.  
LC: ✿ It's fine, it's what I'm here for.  
MD: ;)  
LC: ✿ ✺Frowns✺ I do see your point, however. It's very....disturbing at how creepily resonate these humans are getting about our species.  
MD: Exac☨ly!  
MD: I jus☨...I'm ge☨☨ing a really bad feeling abou☨ all ☨his. I really ☨hink we should jus☨ leave. :(  
LC: ✿ You can't say stuff like that or you'll face a culling.  
MD: I know...bu☨ ☨here is some☨hing really wrong wi☨h ☨his plane☨ and ☨hese...humans.  
LC: ✿ I know.  
LC: ✿ But there's nothing we can do or say. The Condesce won't leave until these humans are all dead; they've already proven to be a bigger challenge then expected and thus defiant to her.  
MD: I'll say. :/  
MD: Ugh, I suppose I'll have ☨o ☨ry and deal wi☨h all ☨hese...☨hings again.  
LC: ✿ Okay.  
LC: ✿ Come by my block after you're done, okay? 'Cause we need a jam, proper.  
LC: ✿ I'll be waiting by the pile.  
MD: O lalala ;)  
MD: See you ☨hen.  
LC: ✿ ♦♦♦♦  
MD: ♦  
  
mothraDreamer [MD] has ceased trolling  leviathanCantaloupes [LC]  


* * *

  
  
File saved as "Cobalt/Teal human jam" to folder "Troll's opinions about Earth."  
  


* * *

 

  
Subjec+: Gamzee Makara's twen+y third feeling jam, Room 12-98D+, three weeks un+il initia+ion is over~   
_Finally_ I managed +o ge+ Gamzee +o +ell me abou+ +he main source of his depressive a++itude~ I have +o hand i+ +o +he li++le darling, he knows how +o keep +hings secre+~ Even so, i+ was a very delica+e road, since he would clam up like a~~~ clam if I go+ +oo blun+. I admi+ he's ext+emely wily when he wan+s +o be~  
  
Bu+ as I was saying, he finally admi++ed +he en+ire clus+erfuck his quadran+s +urned ou+ +o be~ Dear Messiahs, no wonder he refuses any quadran+ solici+a+ions~ Firs+ he has a moirail who then pre++y much ignores him in favour of a comple+ely disin+eres+ed par+y (Hmph, if I ge+ my grasping fronds on +ha+ li++le fucker, I swear~~~) and +hen blames him for every+hing. +hen his spade goes crazy and +ries +o murder him and he winds up killing her in +he ensuring figh+. +hen he has a matespri+ whom he does seem immensely fond of, bu+ she's dead~ Or a+ leas+ I +hink she is, he was s+ill fairly vague about i+~ But goodness, no wonder he's so grumpy and sad half +he +ime :o(  
  
I also managed +o ge+ him +o admi+ +ha+ his matespri+ was also kind of his moirail af+er his breakup wi+h his previous pale. I admi+, I was surprised wi+h +ha+; wigglers are +ypically so ridged and s+ric+ with +heir quadrants, the li++le darlings usually freak out if +hey +hink +hey're 'muddying quadran+s'~ Ah, +o be young! :o)  
  
I spen+ some +ime reassuring Gamzee +ha+ kind of +hing is ac+ually perfec+ly fine and even qui+e common amongs+ us older trolls~ S+ric+ quadran+s aren'+ +ypically enforced af+er conscrip+ion where i+'s impera+ive due +o +he drones which Gamzee managed +o escape being culled by +he skin of his horns~ I even made a casual remark abou+ +he flip-flopping quadran+ be+ween his Ances+or and +he Empress and +o my deligh+ he seemed qui+e in+eres+ed in +ha+~ He did men+ion some+hing abou+ his and his Ances+or's quadran+ choice being hilariously 'ironic' +hough he wouldn'+ explain why~ He also men+ioned +he Condesce had been giving him 'care package for +he lil' guppie' gif+s every so of+en~ Darnit Condesce! Well, at leas+ she isn'+ physically cornering him anymore or +rying to groom his hair or +ouch up his pain+ so +ha+'s a + He did find +he fac+ she'd sen+ him baking goods amusing and upse++ing simul+aneously however and I'll make no+e of +ha+ nex+ +ime I speak wi+h her~  
  
A+ leas+ I'm making some progress +hough! Bu+ no wonder he was so down in +he dumps and i+ looks like he s+ill isn'+ exac+ly preppy~ A+ leas+ he's s+opped looking like someone murdered his lusus and I said as much as a joke and he +hen +old me someone ac+ually did murder his lusus~  
  
Shi+~  
  
Well, I did pu+ my foo+ in i+ magnificen+ly +ha+ +ime~ I managed +o gracefully ease +he subjec+ +owards any grief he may be feeling over his lusus and +he poor darling +old me +he 'old goa+' had pre++y much been ac+ing dead +owards him for sweeps before +he beas+ died :o(  
  
Oh, no wonder he is so awkward wi+h +he o+hers! Quadran+s failed, lusus was a comple+e sack of uselessness! Bu+ even so, he's a lo+ less mopey +hen he originally was when he was firs+ conscrip+ed~ I +hink Gra+ia had a good poin+ about us no+ coddling him or swarming him wi+h favour+ism~ +hough +hey are a bi+ hypocri+ical since I've caugh+ +hem speaking +o Gamzee on several differen+ occasions~  
  
+hough +hey weren'+ speaking per-say, ins+ead doing +hose flapping hand signals~ S+rangely enough, Gamzee seemed +o have caugh+ on+o +heir hand language incredibly quickly; af+er a few ques+ions i+ +urns ou+ Gra+ia and Eminor didn'+ even need +o +each him i+~ I asked him during +his session and he admi++ed he simply 'knew i+'~ I have no idea how he knew ins+inc+ively +his language which is never +aught or available +o wigglers on Al+ernian~ Hmm~~~ He is qui+e a confusing li++le beas+ some+imes~  
  
Bu+ a+ leas+ I've managed +o unders+and +he main source of his morose mood~ I would've +hough+ he had go++en over his quadran+s by now, considering i+'s been near a sweep since he lef+ Al+ernia bu+ I suppose young pi+y and ha+e wound the wors+~ Ah well, +he clownies are all due +o go +hrough +heir final pupa+ion in a few weeks, marking +heir basic ini+ia+ion ending! Then we can really ge+ +o +eaching +hese li++le gruble+s on how +o +ruely be members of +he Church! I do wonder how much Gamzee will resemble Kurloz? A+ leas+ all our doors are big enough already Xo)  
  
  


* * *

  
File saved as "Gamzee's history/quadrants" to folder "Clown therapy."  


* * *

  


  
Gr∀ffiti spr∀y p∀int∃d on the hull of ∀dmiral ∀mpora's ship by on∃ of th∃ r∃n∃g∀d∃ group of ∀li∃ns known ∀s 'hum∀ns'. Gr∀ffiti w∀s writt∃n in ∀lt∃rni∀n. Inv∃stig∀tion ∃ncour∀g∃d in how f∀r th∃ hum∀ns h∀v∃ gott∃n in und∃rst∀nding our l∀ngu∀g∃.  
  
M∃ss∀g∃-  
  
  
R∃comm∃nd∃d h∀ving th∃ sl∀v∃s cl∃∀n th∃ gr∀ffiti from th∃ hull. Hum∀ns fl∃d th∃ sc∃n∃ b∃for∃ th∃y could b∃ c∀ptur∃d ∀nd kill∃d.  
  


* * *

  
File saved as "Graffiti" to folders "Humans kicking ass." and "SGRUB troll mention (?)"   


* * *

  
ORDER: Issues with subject 129859_00028BBHUT_TA22  
  
Issues with order: the tro££ involved has escaped from the Helmsman Education b£ock. However further investigation into the pens fue£s my concern the ye££owblood was sto£en by outsiders whom breached the faci£ities. Forma££y requesting additiona£ aid, main£y in the form of Legis£acerator assistance into our issue with sto£en property and breech of security within the s£ave faci£ities and Education b£ocks.  
  
-  
RE: ORDER: Issues with subject 129859_00028BBHUT_TA22  
  
Request granted.  
  
The Overseer.   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "Escaped slaves" to folder "Empire slave trade."   


* * *

  


  
  
SENT: 12:09 TODAY.   
FROM: fieryPragmatic [FP] TO  saddenProselyte [SP]   
TOPIC: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
Operation SCUTTLEBEAST is A go. We MUST be PREPARED for WHATEVER occurs. Scuttlebeast IS ready TO be LISTENED to IN case IT holds GOOD screeching. Codename FIREFLY. Operation SCUTTLEBEAST. You SHALL be SOYLENT as CODENAME. Operation STARTS in ONE hour.  
  
SENT: 12:16 TODAY.   
FROM:  saddenProselyte [SP]  TO fieryPragmatic [FP]  
TOPIC: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
|Understøød| |Agent Søylent is in place|  
  
SENT: 12:22 TODAY.   
FROM: fieryPragmatic [FP] TO  saddenProselyte [SP]   
TOPIC: RE: RE Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
Firefly IS on ROUTE. Soylent READY for DEPLOY yet?  
  
SENT: 12:49 TODAY.   
FROM:  saddenProselyte [SP]  TO fieryPragmatic [FP]  
TOPIC: RE: RE: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
|Agent Søylent is in positiøn and apprøaching rendezvøus pøint| |Prepared tø listen tø scuttlebeast| |Alsø as per previøus warnings frøm øther agents, Agent Søylent is prepared with audiø duct dampeners in case øf vølume issue|   
  
FROM: fieryPragmatic [FP] TO  saddenProselyte [SP]   
SENT: 12:58 TODAY.   
TOPIC: RE: RE: RE: RE Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
Firefly IS going RADIO silent. Likewise REQUESTS agent SOYLENT does SO as WELL. Would BE no HELP spooking THE scuttlebeast.  
SENT: 12:59 TODAY.   
  
FROM:  saddenProselyte [SP]  TO fieryPragmatic [FP]  
TOPIC: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST.   
|Acknøwledge| |Agent Søylent is likewise gøing dark| |Will cøntact ønce again as Scuttlebeast cøntact is finished|  
  
FROM: fieryPragmatic [FP] TO  saddenProselyte [SP]   
SENT: 2:18 TODAY.   
TOPIC: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST success.   
The SCUTTLEBEAST was LESS intense THEN I ASSUMED. Agent FIREFLY suggests WE pull BACK and REGROUP after SCUTTLEBEAST meeting.  
SENT: 2:19 TODAY.   
  
FROM:  saddenProselyte [SP]  TO fieryPragmatic [FP]  
TOPIC: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST success.   
|Agreed| |Will pull back tø base tø further cøntemplate abøut the meeting then will gø initiate cøntact with øther agents|  
  
SENT: 2:22 TODAY.   
TOPIC: RE: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST success.   
Yup. Also, WELL done. ;)  
  
SENT: 2:24 TODAY.   
FROM:  saddenProselyte [SP]  TO fieryPragmatic [FP]  
TOPIC: RE: RE: RE: Operation SCUTTLEBEAST success.   
|✌| |Scuttlebeast squad|  


* * *

  
File saved as "Code names- Agent green/brown" to folder "Scuttlebeast mention."   


* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am of the opinion all weird similarities between Earth and Alternian would freak out quite a few non-Sgrub playing trolls. lol
> 
> Also the timezones of these are scattered from pre adult banishment time on Alternia to the present day i.e the earth siege. Hopefully they'll give a little insight into the things that changed post-SGRUB and how it effected people. Huzzar, slave trade.
> 
> And fuck quirks uuugh
> 
> (Also, I drew Seshat :3 http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/106899822958/imperial-rec-rder-seshat-fessus-executed-for )


	12. Do no harm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that this is where the torture starts and where the sexual assault tag is relevant.

Jane stared at the supposed 'Doctorturer' who was still smiling at her a few feet away, his hands clasped behind his back and horned-head titled slightly to the side. He seemed unperturbed by her narrow-eyed glare, his grin growing wider as she continued to stay silent.

He- _Abutor Vulnus,_ she mentally amended - seemed fairly content to carry on with their silent staring contest so Jane broke it when her eyes started watering with an irritated growl, "Groping people in their sleep isn't a nice thing to do, Doctor, and I would appreciate it if you did not persist with such habits."

"Doc _torturer_ , dear."

"Isn't that a mite contradicting?"

The troll laughed at that, a bright, cherry sound that echoed through the cold white room, "Oh, see here, this is one of those 'species differences', darling. But surely you see the logic within it; after all, who has a more intimate knowledge of how the body ticks than us?"

"So you think that is a legitimate reason?" Jane snapped, "Doctors are supposed to help people, not to cause deliberate harm simply due to personal sadism."

"Accusing me of being a sadist? My, who's being judgmental? And after we've just met."

Jane ignored the small voice in her head chiding her for deliberately provoking her torturer; she figured it was inevitable he was going to hurt her so she might as well snipe at him before he starts, "Yes, how dare I be so darn judgmental towards a race of murderous aliens who've invaded our planet and are attempting to eradicate us all?"

Abutor laughed again, flashing rows of sharp white fangs as he tossed his head back, "See, that kind of indignant attitude just tickles my horn it does!"

He smiled, pushing one of his dreadlocks back over his shoulder as he moved towards one of the stark-white cabinets on the wall to his left, continuing with a thoughtful, "So.... _moralistic_. It's as wigglerish as it is hubris, my dear. Entertaining and occasionally endearing I think, but after you hear it for a few thousand sweeps it's just more like...white noise. Well, not even that obvious."

"Charming," Jane said through clenched teeth, ignoring the cold sweat beginning to bead her bare flesh, "If fairly hypocritical. Then again, I expect as much from the likes of you."

Abutor snorted, "So judgmental. Ah well, I'm sure you'll be a mite friendlier once I've finished my first lesson with you. It'll be just you and I, darling. You needn't worry."

"Really? Why isn't the Condesce here to give me a how-dee-do?" Jane asked, not bothering to keep the disgust out of her voice as she spat out the witch's title.

"Oh, our darling Empress doesn't have time to fuss over every vagabond alien who shows up on her lawnring, now does she?" The troll threw her an amused look, the smile warm despite his eyes remaining cold. His claws clinked against metal as he continued to rummaged through the cabinet.

Jane frowned; not because the Empress didn't even bother to see or supervise her torture (Jane knew it was just another powerplay tactic; the seabitch was essentially stating that Jane was below even simple acknowledgement from something as crass as torture) but because the Maid had been eager to see if she would be capable of spitting in the vile fuchsia alien's face even while strung up like a Christmas Ham. Well, darn.

"No need to look so put out, dear," Abutor cooed, his painted face suddenly scant inches from Jane's. She tensed, her heart skipping a beat as she tried to jerk away from him, her restrains holding her firmly in place. Her knee-jerk panic only seemed to amuse the purple-blooded troll who grinned at her as if it were all a great joke.

This close he had to stoop down to be face-to-face with her; he was barely seven and a half feet tall, scalpel-shaped horns not included, making him the shortest troll she'd ever seen. But despite this she could feel her skin crawl under his clinical gaze, made even worse by the expression of faux sympathy on his face. 

Jane knew better than to try and plead or bargain with him; she doubted he would've been assigned to her if he could be moved to any small piece of mercy or pity. He was most likely torturing and killing others since before most of human civilization. Jane would wager a lion's share that he simply expressed this strange fake kindness purely as a psychological tactic or sadistic habit to mess with his victims. But even so, if she could exploit his obvious willingness to talk or at least play along with this little game the sooner she could stave off the torture.

For a few moments at least.

"So are you going to question me or just go right to the scalpels?" Jane eventually risked asking, her tone mocking and sarcastic even as cold sweat slid down her neck.

His expression just got even more amused at her words and he held up a large steel tray, of which she hadn't initially noticed due to being so focused on his leering face. It was decorated with carefully arranged instruments, each as clean and chromed as the next. Jane, if she hadn't been tied up in her underwear on a hostile spacecraft, would've assume these were all typical doctor tools being prepped for surgery. However she knew very well these would not be used for any benign purpose.

"Oh don't worry, sweets," Abutor said, leaning over and attaching the tray to the wall to Jane's right, taking care not to rattle the equipment upon it, "I'm going to start slow. I do know how excitable you... _humans_ get while with me."

Jane tucked her chin against her sweaty collarbone, heart fluttering in her chest as she struggled to slow her panicked breathing down, "So I assume you've dealt with many humans before?"

He chuckled, "Of course- while our beautiful, beloved Empress may have no interest in cavorting with you mammals I have devoted quite a lot of time getting intimate with your species since we've arrived! So you needn't worry, dear, you'll get only the _best_ possible care from me."

The Maid shifted restlessly, the restraints upon her wrists and ankles keeping her in firmly place, "Does our biology cause your kind discomfort?"

"...Some," Abutor admitted; he turned away from the tray and sidled closer to Jane, shooting her an almost coy look from underneath his thick black eyelashes, "I think it's mainly you're all so _warm._ An utter delight for an old clown such as myself, sweetling, but occasionally distressing for the younglings. Especially when you spill such vivid crimson which many have never encountered before."

"Crimson blood isn't some strange magical substance," Jane couldn't help but say, "Our red blood is caused by a large amount of hemochrome proteins in our blood system, notably hemoglobin. While this is a guess, I would speculative your differing hues are caused by variations of these proteins, including hemoglobin which produces the more reddish hues, hemocyanin which creates the more greens and blues for your so-called middling caste and hemerythrin which leads to the tyrian that your murderous leader possesses. It isn't too difficult."

Abutor raised an eyebrow, his cross-shaped facepaint creasing, "Aren't you a smart one."

"It's basic science and medical information, _Mister_ Vulnus," Jane snapped, suddenly feeling almost uncontrollably angry, "I'm not even a scientist but I learned this in medical school and through my own curiosity. The fact your species lacks these _basic_ facts about your blood speaks volumes of the intentional ignorance your Empress keeps everyone under to prop herself up as vastly above the rest."

"Naturally those with similar biology to our own species, these so-called lowbloods, contain the same amount of hemoglobins as we do creating scarlet. As you go up your caste system, the blood hues change due to introductions of new chemicals, such as chlorocruorin or biliverdin, which shifts the blood from red to green and those in between such as brown and yellow depending on the volume of the chemical within the system," the words spilled out of Jane's mouth forcefully enough Abutor had stepped back a pace, lips pursed. 

She ignored his bemused expression and plowed on, "Blue blood shows up because hemocyanin contains a higher rate of copper which binds to oxygen and creates the appearance of blue. Differing values of hemocyanin creates the teal, cerulean and blueblood castes. Violet, I would wager, is because of the hemerythin values for the seadwellers which produces iron binding to oxygen and creating said hue like some of our sea creatures here on Earth."

"Of course, if your blood follows these rules it's perfectly reasonable to assume you likewise could have translucent blood, which is created from a lack of respiratory protein, and limeblood which is created through briliruden unable to change completely from biliverdin which causes the far duller green or rustic colours," Jane finished, breath short.

"Limes, hmm?" Abutor seemed thoughtful, tapping his round chin with a claw, "You certainly seem to have a lot of knowledge about the hemospectrum despite not being a part of it and not even a sweep has passed since our appearance for your species."

Jane didn't bother correcting him; Roxy, Rose and herself had devoted hours trying to figure out the hemospectrum a few years ago mainly due to curiosity. Jane _had_ attempted to ask Gamzee during the Game about his cold blood since she had first meet him several times while he was asleep and for some hysterical moments thought he was corpse which she touched him. Turns out he knew next to nothing about the Empire and his own species so Jane had to make do until after Sburb. 

Before her Abutor was cocking his head to the side, expression still thoughtful before he leaned over and pressed down a button on a near-translucent panel on the wall next to the tray of equipment. Jane tensed when she heard a low grinding noise, then the restraints gripping her hands and feet tugged her up; the white square tile she was standing on suddenly extruded from the ground. The Maid glanced up at the ceiling, squinting slightly in the white light and could see the weird warping of air where the intangible restrains holding her were but she couldn't detect any machinery pulling her forward.

With a sharp _click_ Abutor released the button, leaving Jane now suspended at face-height with him. She regarded him with a narrowed brow and thinned lips while he just gave her a cherry wink, "I admit, you seem to be quite knowledgeable about the hemospecutrum despite not being a member of it. I am rarely surprised these days but you, my darling, have done so."

Jane didn't bother keeping the scorn out of her voice, "It's not that difficult. You're also bound by blood temperature which is also a big clue; you 'highbloods' have colder temperatures and the highest caste are sea-based which numerous marine creatures possess."

He spoke in a giddy tone, pointed ears twitching, "It's not just your temperature and blood hue that causes some excitement, dearie," here he reached out slowly and touched Jane's abdomen with a spindly hand; she flinched, stomach clenching as his cold palm touched her bare flesh, his claws scraping against her skin. 

"I do believe one of the more disturbing facts about your species is that you gestate your young within you," he said, voice soft and gentle. The Doctorturer's smile widened when he saw Jane's restrained distress, pressing his palm more firmly against Jane's belly. The dozens of small scars adoring his hand scraped against her flesh, causing her to shudder in her restraints and clench her teeth.

Jane's whole body was shaking; her breath had quickened and her hands were clenched into tight fists, nails biting bloody crescents into her palms. She wanted his hand _off_ , away from the vulnerable bare skin of her abdomen.

For a while second she considered going to Plan X- _or was it Z_ -but no; she was still exhausted and aching- she would need all her strength to endure, not waste her Life powers regrowing a limb she'd torn off trying to smack a creepy troll who didn't understand personal boundaries.

So instead she forced herself to keep her hands in place, shivers of disgust shaking her body as the troll continued to stroke her abdomen as if it were the most precious thing he'd ever laid hands on; he'd shifted to his native tongue and was crooning, for lack of a better word, at her stomach like a mother to her baby, with a hideous expression of unnerving sweetness on his painted face. Jane couldn't help the strangled noise of disgust that escaped her sore throat.

"Must be so fascinating," he murmured, switching to English without pause, cold breath chilling the beads of sweat on her side. His purple eyes flicked up to meet Jane's blue one and his smile turned syrupy sweet and mocking, "To be able to house one of your own kind within in you...so... _adorable._ "

Jane was clenching her jaw so hard her teeth were aching; Abutor was nuzzling at her stomach like a contented house cat, his nose leaving faint smears of white on her exposed skin. While he was nosing at her his hand continued its gentle caressing of her abdomen. 

"So I assume the female humans are the ones to...house the wigglers within themselves?" the Doctorturer pulled his head back slightly from her side, expression inquisitive. His hand meanwhile carried on rubbing at her skin in small circles. She wanted to spit on him.

"Anyone with a _uterus_ can have a child, if they so wish," Jane managed to snarl out, eyes burning. The skin Abutor was touching felt as if it were covered in millions of insects, crawling and feeling utterly wrong. She wanted to smack him away from her and have a dozen hot soapy showers to scrub away the sensation of his repulsive touch.

Abutor hummed lowly, gazing at the bare skin of her abdomen with a soft expression on his face, "How interesting that must be; I'm sure you're unaware but our reproduction is far different. We simply offer our genetic material to the Drones upon conscription on our homeplanet and they take it to the Mother Grub. She isn't a troll like us you see, darling. Instead she is the one who lays the young, the new wigglers."

 _I already knew that,_ Jane thought, flinching back slightly as the jagged-edge horn swayed close to her face. However she figured mentioning that aloud would simply rouse his curiosity even though Jane, at this point, was unsure which would be worse; torture or Abutor's creepy caressing. _Hm, maybe a different method? He's clearly interested in science, so maybe I can try appealing to that part of him?_

"If trolls aren't mammals then why do your females have breasts?" Jane suddenly blurted, ignoring the sore muscles in her jaw. Half of her tactic was stalling even though a more logical part of her mind scoffed at the idea she'd be rescued in a timely manner while the other half was genuinely curious about the topic. She continued, "You don't have young; you don't even raise them, much less nurse them so you have no use for breasts. If anything your species is more reminiscent of insects, with your cycles of molting to reach adulthood and a single Queen who produces all the offspring."

"You are an inquisitive little darling aren't you?" He grinned, shifting further from Jane but still keeping one hand pressed gently against her bare abdomen, "True, we have no use for for these...what do you humans call them? Breasts?"

As if to strengthen the subject under discussion further he raised his spare hand and carefully splayed it on her left breast, continuing with "For you humans they are so soft, so...pliant," as if to emphasis his wording he squeezed slightly, causing Jane to snarl and making his toothy smile widen.

Jane felt like she was about to vomit; quite frankly she would prefer pain to this disgusting pawing. She wanted to rip her skin off and burn it, anything to get that _things_ touch away from her. She wanted to tear one of her hands off and smashed the bloodied stump into his smug face. She wanted to rip off her foot and kick him in the gut. The only consolation was that she still, at least, had her bra on but the coldness of his skin was seeping through the thin fabric, causing goosebumps to ripple across the skin of her chest while her throat felt clogged up with a baseball.

 _Just bear it, he's doing it deliberately just to get a reaction from you,_ she tried to tell herself, struggling to fight down the bile building up in her throat. Despite her internal mantra she felt ashamed of herself that his underhanded tactic was working; she was shaking with humiliation and loathing, hating herself for getting in such a situation. The more rational part of her mind attempted to point out he was clearly doing this for his own sick amusement and it was no fault of her own but she couldn't stop her shaking, body clammy with sweat and muscles burning with adrenalin as she hung there in her restraints.

Abutor carried on talking, tone mockingly sweet as Jane silently burned with humiliation and disgust, "Ours used to be venom sacks- since our planet is incredibly dangerous of course. Another defense tactic I would assume. However this was so long ago, back before we had space flight; indeed before our beautiful current Empress came to power. Then genetics decided to turn to wiles, cunning and psychic might in many cases. So things such as poison wasn't an important even though they do show up from time to time, sweets. Eminor for example has both poison sacks, at her throat and chest. However for most that gene has died out, or simply not passed on to the Descendants. Rather like wings, sweets."

He carefully shook his palm, watching the upper, exposed skin of her breast shake in his grip and ignoring Jane's vicious glaring as he did so, "You humans have such soft rumble spheres- as they're now commonly called - compared with our females; they've seemingly evolved from poison sacks to thick, dense deposits of fatty tissue and flesh, sweets. I hazard to guess they are used for defense; to guard the blood pusher from piercing weaponry or to hold built-up fat stores in case of starvation, allowing them to endure for longer. Not all...supple, yielding flesh like this."

Jane cringed, unintentionally biting her tongue slightly. Swallowing down the copper tang of blood she hung there, eyes burning as Abutor continued to grope her.

He ran his other hand up and down his bare, flat chest, tracing the dozens of bloody hand prints decorating his pitch black skin, "I myself have no such things; the Mother Grub obviously has decided there is no use for an obsolete weapon for one such as myself."

"Such a shame," Jane snarled out, scouring her mind frantically for a way to divert his unwanted, lewd attentions away from her body.

"Indeed, darling."

"So you aren't going to question your 'beautiful, beloved' Condesce about this? After all, she has a pair of them," Jane said, landing on a potential topic to gain his attention, "Or should I call her Meenah?" She carefully kept her features blank as such even when Abutor pulled away from her chest, an expression of genuine surprise on his painted face.

 _Ah, didn't expect me to know that vile witch's true name did you? At least those dead trolls from the Game had some use. Well, I shan't squander a chance to knock you off guard, monster. Let us see if we can get a knockout blow from my inside information?_ Jane's eyes flicked towards the two bloody paintings across the room beside the door and decided to take the dare, "But I suppose that murderous hag has some more serious business to attend to then waste her time on little old me. However you could go and fetch _Gamzee_ -"

Barely a second after that name left her lips Jane's head suddenly snapped to the side due to a savage strike delivered squarely across her face.

She swallowed, blood flooding her mouth; it was a magnificent hit, hard enough to cause sharp pain, swelling while splitting open her lower lip and would leave a nasty throb at the base of her skull for hours afterward but not strong enough to cause serious damage or to give her a concussion and already she could feel her cheek starting to pulse painfully. 

At least her careless tossing of personal names had made Abutor pull away from her, his hand finally releasing her breast. The troll's expression was now pinched and angry, with an obvious bite in his voice when he spoke, "Now I've let quite a few disrespectful things slide with you, sweets, but I won't tolerate you blithely disrespecting our Grand Highblood."

 _I have more right to say his name then you do,_ she thought spitefully before speaking, wincing slightly at the ache on the side of her face and her lip, "Strange how you didn't seem to care that I used Meenah's name-"

Jane fell silent when Abutor slapped her again, the sharp noise ringing through the cuboid room. She stifled a sound of pain, her inhale quick and shallow. Abutor, any faux kindness gone, was grumbling under his breath in his native tongue with his lip curled.

While he seemed preoccupied with muttering to himself while turning away Jane checked herself over; A quick internal scan verified he hadn't caused her any lasting damage, though she'd have a pretty good black eye and some impressive swelling in a few hours. She swallowed again, tasting more blood, and cautiously used some of her Life force to speed up the healing for the bruising slowing growing at the base of her skull as well as healing her split lip. Her body still ached but that was mostly due to overexertion from the fight with the three Priestormentors before she was captured. She couldn't do anything for her exhaustion; rest would only help her and with that she sincerely doubted she'd get it.

Jane was too preoccupied with fixing a few more minute injuries within her body to notice Abutor turn back towards her, his dreadlocks swinging as he pivoted neatly in place and stepped towards her.

She did, however, notice when he lifted the long sharp blade he was carrying in one hand up to the side of her face and deftly sliced her right ear off.

Blood spurted from the sudden wound as Jane let out a shriek of pain, instinctively trying to jump backwards; however she was held firmly in place by her restraints and only succeeded in painfully yanking her ankles and wrists. The ache was lost in the greater agony of her severed ear, the pulsing wound spitting hot blood down the side of her face and neck.

Involuntary stuttered whines escaped her mouth as she shook violently, the sharp stabbing pain radiating from the sliced open flesh and winding its way through her skull and making her eyes prickle with pain-induced tears; instinctively she started to heal the stinging wound but after a moment of painful consideration she forced herself to stop.

She doubted he would stop with just her ear so she would need to choose which injuries to heal carefully.

A missing ear she could live without.

So instead she forced herself to just hang there, a few stray tears slipping from her burning eyes as she sucked in shuddering breaths. Blood oozing hot and wet from the sliced open flesh of her missing ear. Adrenalin burned through her restrained body, causing her to shiver violently in her restrains. 

Abutor didn't seem concerned with her pained noises, instead stooping down and picking up Jane's severed right ear in a hand. He raised it up, seemingly admiring the thin flesh before carefully placing it on another tray next to the one holding his gleaming medical equipment. 

He said something but Jane was too busy grimacing with pain and breathing shallowly to pay him any attention; he promptly slapped her again, snapping her head hard to the side. Droplets of blood from her severed ear landed on the adjacent wall, staining the white tiles with numerous bright red splotches.

" _What?_ " she snarled out, squinting at him from rapidly swelling eyelids. The cleanly sliced wound where her ear used to be was throbbing painfully as if her heart was beating there, with more blood sliding down her skin and seeping into her dark hair.

"You're being so rude, sweetie," he scolded, hands on hips and lips pursed as if she was a recalcitrant child and he an exasperated adult.

"Fuck you," Jane couldn't help but mutter; she wanted to tear her way out of the restrains and beat his face in with her bare hands. She wanted to rip his scalpel-shaped horns off and ram them through his chest.

"Hmph, well that's a fine attitude-"

"Fuck you!" This time Jane shouted the words, followed up by her spitting at him; the globule of blood and saliva struck him in the left temple with a wet _splat_ , just missing one of the two small white dots of paint beneath his hair line.

To his credit Abutor didn't even flinch when she spat on him, simply regarded her with a calculating expression his face. Without breaking eye contact with her he nonchalantly reached up and wiped the spit and blood off his brow with a clawed finger and flicked it to the side.

"That," he said in a deceptively calm tone, "was not nice."

"You don't deserved nice," Jane said spitefully, tempted to spit at him again.

"Truly?" Abutor cocked his head, long dreadlocks swinging to the side. His eyes were cold purple glints and any faux kindness had vanished completely from his face, leaving behind a vicious sharp-toothed smile. His voice when he spoke however, was gentle and sweet, "Well, I see attempting to be kind to one such as yourself is like thinking you'll get an intellectual from one of the lower castes; a completely disappointing task with a typical constant result. That is, an utter waste of effort."

Jane didn't respond. Instead she just stared at him as coldly as she could even as hot blood oozed slowly from the throbbing wound on the side of her head. A muscle twitched in her clenched, swollen jaw. 

The Doctorturer was unfazed by her silent animosity. He patted the tray where her freshly severed ear lay before he reached over and picked up a gleaming sickle-like instrument from the line of tools. He held it up in yellow claws, admiring the cold object with a fond expression on his face as Jane hung silently to the side, bleeding and aching.

Finally Abutor turned back to Jane, a sickly-sweet smile crossing his painted features as he stepped forward, "Now then, my dear human, let's see if we can get some friends for that lonely little auricular sponge over there, shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Why do trolls have boobs. It's weird. They aren't mammals. Why do so many people put boobs on non-mammal species they create.
> 
> Hence my attempt to rationalize troll boobies despite gender, child birth and said boobs being pretty much irrelevant in their society. Only good thing about it, I suppose. :/
> 
> And yes, Abutor is a creep.
> 
> Here is some of the medical stuff Jane was referring towards the hemospectrum-
> 
> http://www.vox.com/xpress/2014/10/31/7133779/blood-blue-green-purple  
> http://teachers.sheboygan.k12.wi.us/areinemann/documents/manycolorsblood-10232012100129.pdf  
> http://all-this-goddamn-pastry.tumblr.com/post/104919004479/seer-of-blood-genocidalcatgal
> 
> The hemospectrum is weird. >:U But Jane's smart and knows a lot of shit about bodily fluids being a Doctor and all.
> 
> Also with names with the trolls its kinda to the point only your quadrants and (rarely) your longest acquaintances know your real name. Otherwise they'll use fake ones or titles. Kinda like with the Ancestors how we have Mindfang, Redglare and the Signless- only their quadrants or people whom they trust would be told/allowed to use their first names. Long term acquaintances would only use their last names. The rest would only know them via their titles, hence Abutor's anger at Jane blithely using the Grand Highblood's first name.
> 
> ALSO LOOK, LOOK, FAN-ART OF WW GAMZEE AND JANEY OMFG- http://procrastinationpossum.tumblr.com/post/105066189460/finished-line-arts-i-miiiight-throw-a-background  
> <3333


	13. Olive branch

  
Message sent to  KillroyTotalitarian [KT]  from  FloraWhisperer [FW]   
  
FW: Hello.  
FW: Yes I Am Very Fine/Hale.  
FW: There Is No Need To Concern Your Own With Me/Her/Myself.   
FW: As I Said I Am Fine/Hale.   
FW: I Am Unharmed And Am Happy.   
FW: Very Happy/Content.   
FW: No Need To See Me As I Am Going On Long Trip So I May Not Talk To You For Many Sweeps.   
FW: So If I Don't Contact/Talk With You That Is Why.   
FW: Goodbye/Farewell.   
  
KillroyTotalitarian [KT] sent a reply!  
  
KT: LIARS, BUNCH OF FUCKING THIEVING SLAVING NOOKSUCKING TROLLIANHANDLE-STEALING LIARS.  
KT: U slimy little FUCKER if U have harmed 1 fucking HAIR ON MY MOIRAIL'S HEAD I will fucking SKIN U BULGEEATER'S ALIVE.   
KT: I don't care WHERE U GO I will fucking HUNT U down and KILL U ALL for selling HER to those highblood FUCKERS after I TRUSTED U.  
KT: FUCKING WATCH ME, ASSHOLES.

* * *

  
  
File saved as "backstabbing bitchass friends" to folder "Empire Slave Trade." 

* * *

 

Subjec+: Gamzee Makara's firs+ jam af+er adul+ pupa+ion, Room 12-98D+.   
  
Gamzee wen+ +hrough his pupa+ion wi+h no issues and +o my amusemen+ I would wager +here is no difference in his heigh+ and Kurloz's~ A+ leas+ all our doorways are +wen+y fee+ high so +here is no issue wi+h him knocking his horns on +he frames, poor darling~   
  
Bu+ +ruly, while I have learned more abou+ Gamzee's his+ory and quadran+ issues when i+ comes down +o i+ he simply does no+ wish +o become friends wi+h anyone, including myself, despi+e numerous effor+s~   
  
I admi+, i+'s ge++ing increasingly frus+ra+ing wi+h Gamzee :o( He is far more intelligen+ +han I ini+ially assumed and unfor+una+ely he is no+ blind +o the favour+ism being lavished on him by +he Pries+ormen+ors and +he Condesce herself~   
  
And unlike many o+hers he does no+ like nor apprecia+e i+ in +he leas+~   
  
In fac+, he is growing resen+ful +owards +he Condesce due +o her a++i+ude. He is behaving in a surly and hos+ile manner in many of his dealings wi+h her, a anger +ha+ is increasingly hard +o miss~ While +he darling Empress doesn'+ seem +o mind - she seems +o assume he is waxing pi+ch for her :o| - I am convinced his hos+ili+y is genuine and no+ roman+ic a+ all~ I do, in fac+, fear he may a++emp+ +o harm her if sufficien+ly provoked~  
  
No ma++er what, I am unable +o deduce +he +rue reasoning for his hos+ili+y for her since he does no+ seem +o be a sympa+hizer- in fac+, he does no+ discrimina+e wi+h his killings in +he leas+~ He simply +rea+s i+ as a job and, for lack of a be++er word, some+hing +o fill his +ime~ So I am no+ concerned wi+h him running off +o +ha+ hopbeas+ +hinkpaned rebellion +hose idio+ic lowerclasses are murmuring abou+ again~ Ah well, jus+ more peasan+s for +he wall ;o)   
  
Speaking of which, he has expressed in+eres+s in being a pain+er (A +rai+ I no+e he and his Ances+or share) and has crea+ed some~~~ in+eres+ing pieces~ Some show his lusus which was a seagoa+, o+hers include some s+range fan+asy animals I am unable +o deduce +he origins of and repea+ed images of winged +rolls, including his younger self~  
  
+here is also one very indep+h pic+ure showing a s+range red-clad alien I am unfamiliar wi+h and when Gra+ia ques+ioned him abou+ i+ he simply said she was his Maid~ I am uncer+ain if he mean+ an actual alien servan+ he had or some+hing else however he became ex+remely defensive and s+andoffish when I +ried asking him about i+~   
  
+here was a few more images, including a gander bulb burned +eal, psisonic-backlashed yellowblood and an oliveblood with rup+ured audio duc+s whom appeared in some of his larges+ works~ I asked if they were previous quadran+ ma+es (goodness knows +he darling cavor+ed wi+h +he wrong sor+ which would explain his behaviour) and he denied i+ and said he killed +he olive during a cer+ain '+ime' and +he yellowblood he fried while +he +eal expired af+er he a++acked i+, and he would kill them 'again' if he ca+ches +hem~   
  
I+ is s+range when he's speaking abou+ +hese as he seems +o be confused on wha+ happened or when i+ did, or even if he did so~ In fac+, he s+a+es numerous odd circums+ances and scenarios +ha+ are impossible +o have occurred~   
  
I hazard +o guess +his is because of his previous sopor addic+ion and +he in+ensive neurological scarring wi+hin his mind which makes him confused and misplaced from +ime +o +ime~ He some+imes even ge+s confused over his own name or confuses ours, +he poor +hing~  
  
Bu+ yes, Gamzee's fairly bi++er a++i+ude is becoming increasingly worrisome~ +ha+, and combined wi+h his new ascension +o adul+hood, means he is more +han capable of inadver+en+ly harming one of us if his fury is en+iced despi+e +he fac+ he seems remarkably slow +o anger compared +o any of +he o+her ini+ia+es~   
  
So I'm going +o recommend we, at leas+, force him +o in+erac+ more wi+h wi+h +he fellow younglings since all he seems +o do is ea+, kill, pain+ and brood in his quar+ers~ 

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File saved as "janeys clown all grown up" to folder "Clown Therapy."   


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.-- . -.. --- -. --- - -.- -. --- .-- .... --- .-- .. - .-- .- ... ... ..- .-. ...- .. ...- .. -. --. .. -. - .... . ...- .- -.-. ..- ..- -- --- ..-. ... .--. .- -.-. . -... ..- - .-- .- ... ... ..- .-. .-. --- ..- -. -.. . -.. -... -.-- .- ... - .-. .- -. --. . .--. ..- .-.. ... .. -. --. .- ..- .-. .- ... - --- .--.   
  
.-- . -.. .. ... -.-. --- ...- . .-. . -.. - .... . .-- . .- .--. --- -. .. - ..- ... . -.. - --- -.. . ... - .-. --- -.-- - .... . ... .... .. .--. ... .- -. -.. -.- .. .-.. .-.. - .... . .--. .-.. .- -. . - .-- .- ... .- ... - .-. .- -. --. . .-. .- .. -. -... --- .-- -....- -.-. --- .-.. --- ..- .-. . -.. -... . .- -- .. - . -- .. - - . -.. ..-. .-. --- -- .. - ... -- --- ..- - .... ... - --- .--.   
  
.- -. -.-- .- - - . -- .--. - - --- ... .... --- --- - -.. --- .-- -. - .... . --. .-. . . -. -.-. .-. . .- - ..- .-. . .-- .- ... ..-. .-. ..- .. - .-.. . ... ... ... - --- .--.   
  
.- ..-. - . .-. .. - ..-. .. -. .. ... .... . -.. -... ..- .-. -. .. -. --. - .... . .--. .-.. .- -. . - ... .- - -- --- ... .--. .... . .-. . .. - ... .. -- .--. .-.. -.-- ..-. .-.. . .-- --- ..-. ..-. ... - --- .--.   
  
.. - ... ..-. .-.. . .-- ..- .--. --- -. .-- .. -. --. ... .-. . ... . -- -... .-.. .. -. --. ..-. . .- - .... . .-. -... . .- ... - ... .- -. -.. --. .-.. --- .-- . -.. ..- -. -. .- - ..- .-. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- .- ... .. - .-.. . ..-. - ... - --- .--.   
  
.-- . .-- . .-. . ..- -. .- -... .-.. . - --- -.. . - . .-. -- .. -. . .-- .... .- - .. - ... .--. ..- .-. .--. --- ... . .-- .- ... -... . ..-. --- .-. . .. - .-.. . ..-. - ... - --- .--.   
  
.... --- .-- . ...- . .-. .. - ... . . -- . -.. - --- -... . -- --- ...- .. -. --. .. -. .- ...- . .-. -.-- -.. . .-.. .. -... . .-. .- - . .--. .- - .... .- ... .. ..-. ..-. --- .-.. .-.. --- .-- .. -. --. -.. .. .-. . -.-. - .. --- -. ... ... - --- .--.   
  
.-. . -.-. --- -- -- . -. -.. ..-. ..- .-. - .... . .-. .. -. ...- . ... - .. --. .- - .. --- -. .- -. -.. ..-. --- .-.. .-.. --- .-- ..- .--. - .... . ... - .-. .- -. --. . -.-. .-. . .- - ..- .-. . ... --- .-. .. --. .. -. ... .- -. -.. .--. ..- .-. .--. --- ... . ... - --- .--.   
  
\- .... . . .. --. .... - -....- -. .. -. . -....- -. .. -. . -....- - .-- . -. - -.-- -....- ..-. --. .... - .-.. .-.. .-.. -....- -.. . .-.. - .- ... .-.. .- ...- .. -. --. -.-. .-. . .-- -.-. .- .--. - .- .. -. ... - --- .--.   


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File saved as "hostile killer ufo" to folder "Non-Troll Aliens." 

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Attention everyone!   
This is a ship-wide memo reminding peopⱢe of the potentiaⱢ dangers of this pⱢanet!   
Yes I am very much of aware of aⱢⱢ the proud 'No planet is as tough as ours! *insert chest pounding*' stuff you Ɫot Ɫike to get invoⱢved with!   
However I shouⱢd NOT have to remind you peopⱢe to be carefuⱢ regardⱢess! I have had over three hundred ⅋ sixty three reports in the Ɫast few _weeks_ aⱢone about deaths or iⱢⱢnesses caused by this 'Earth' pⱢanet's native fauna!   
SⱢitherbeasts are stiⱢⱢ venomous! Do not pick up any you find ⅋ try to pⱢay with ⅋/or poke them!   
Croakbeasts have poisonous skins! Do not eat any you find unⱢess you are positive they aren't poisonous!  
Spiders are Ɫikewise a hit ⅋ miss! They may be far smaⱢⱢer ⅋ cuter than we're used to but they can stiⱢⱢ kiⱢⱢ you with a bite if you are careⱢess!   
Even fish can be poisonous! I admit seeing tiny sea-dweⱢⱢing skywhales ⅋ skyhorses is very adorabⱢe but that doesn't mean you shouⱢd just Ɫeap in the ocean without care!  
The toothfish have aⱢready eaten three seadweⱢⱢers ⅋ those big moobeast skywhales ate/mauⱢed a dozen more!   
So don't be careⱢess!   
The animaⱢs here are far smaⱢⱢer ⅋ more colourful then we're used to, certainⱢy!   
But they can stiⱢⱢ kiⱢⱢ you if you Ɫet your guard down!   
Please be carefuⱢ!   
Your caring AdmiraⱢ, ⱢuⱢuin KeⱢiet!   


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File saved as "scolding admiral" to folder "Troll's opinions about Earth."   


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Gamzee's Room GH+-2Y- plane+ Gull~  
  
Finally, Gamzee seems +o have go++en a friend :o)   
  
A+ my repea+ed urgings Gra+ia has increased +he amoun+ of group ac+ivi+ies even +hough I expec+ they've wan+ed +o do so for a while haha~   
  
Bu+ as I was saying, Gamzee's been spending some +ime wi+h one of +he fellow ini+ia+es, a cheery young clown by +he name of Hes+ia Jewels~ She's bi+ odd bu+ apparen+ly she managed +o befriend Gamzee +hrough a few differen+ means- during one of my jams wi+h her she admi++ed she los+ her ma+espri+ +o murder~ a kindred spiri+ I would assume as she broached conversa+ion wi+h Gamzee via +ha+ +opic~ Oddly enough he's no+ typically hos+ile +o fellow ini+ia+es (Gra+ia, of course, was so smug over +ha+ :o| ) bu+ ra+her +he au+hori+y figures~   
  
I assume +his resen+fulness comes from +he fac+ he is comple+ely aware of our~~~ giddiness of his gene+ic donor~ I feel s+upid i+ +ook me so long +o link his hos+ility +o this~  
  
Despi+e our bes+ effor+s many seem +o simply regard him as a replacemen+ for Kurloz and Gamzee is, well he is predic+ably hos+ile +owards +his~ I canno+ say I blame him~   
  
Well, luckily Gra+ia, Eminor and Occhio seem +o unders+and +ha+ is s+upid behaviour and +hey've +ried +o +one i+ down even if +he Condesce doesn'+~ Oddly enough Gamzee has been a grea+ deal more friendlier +o Gra+ia +han +he o+her +wo, as he seems +o like wa+ching Gra+ia work wi+h +heir plan+s and flora~ Never figured Gamzee for apprecia+ing such +hings bu+ +here you go!   
  
Bu+ yes, he seems fond of Hes+ia even +hough mos+ of +heir conversa+ions seem +o be +hem reminiscing abou+ +heir dead flushed ones and how +hey miss +hem grea+ly and would gladly kill for +hem +o be re+urned~  
  
Ah, wigglers +hese days!   
  
A+ leas+ he's found a friend his own age~ Or a+ leas+ someone he tolera+es~  
  
Hopefully he'll warm up +he o+hers even+ually~   


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File saved as "gamz troll friend" to folder "Clown Therapy."   


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The Contessa  has sent  Ruffiannihilator Central Messenger  a message!  
  
Saℓutations, my strong bℓuebℓooded brawℓers❣   
By now you shaℓℓ note I have kiℓℓed one o∱ your coworkers a∱ter chaℓℓenging her to ∱isticuffs and subsequentℓy winning the ensuring brawℓ.   
As per my rules, I have generousℓy returned her horns to her quadrant ∱or them to mourn properℓy and have ℓe∱t any Empire equipment with her bodies a∱ter I ∱ed.   
The one-on-one dueℓ was graciousℓy accepted and the Ru∱∱iannihiℓator ∱ought honourabℓy and kept to fistkind during our dueℓ and I am proud to have beaten her in honest combat.   
However I hope you shaℓℓ now take my warnings more seriousℓy.   
As pℓeasant and civiℓ as I am, I vaℓue my privacy and myself highℓy.   
And NO ONE dictates what I do with my spare time or how I handℓe myseℓ∱.   
As ∱ℓattered as I am by the attention you Ru∱∱iannihiℓators have showed my charming Rainbow Drinker self, I have no interest in continuing our ℓittℓe game.   
I hunt those I deem worthy of me; I hunt those I deem deℓicious sport.   
And for those o∱ you whom are stiℓℓ confused I do not view your ridicuℓous cℓassℓess Empress as worthy or any kind o∱ sport or consideration.   
She is simpℓy a run-of-the-ℓawnring psychopath whom speaks pun ℓike a thinkpan stunted wiggler and I have had my ∱iℓℓ of those.   
Instead my ℓuminescent eyes have turned to another ∱uchsia prey, one whom is far more unique than your current Empress ever could be.   
And we aℓℓ know the Empress has aℓready granted permission to kiℓℓ her estranged Heiress on sight since the youngℓing bℓatantℓy ∱ℓouted tradition and ∱ℓed her designated dueℓ. Youth these sweeps.   
So with that I ask that you leave me aℓone or at ℓeast send more worthy opponents whom can take on a fuℓℓy matured Rainbow Drinker.   
∱or whiℓe the ∱emale muscℓe-bound Ru∱∱iannihiℓator was a gℓorious opponent and made my bℓoodpusher rush as i∱ I was a wiggℓer during ∱ℓARP, she disrupted my care∱uℓℓy contained pℓans and I do hate having my scheduℓe ruined.   
You can continue to send gru∱∱ highbℓood agents searching ∱or me a∱ter the sℓight I in∱ℓicted upon your class nearℓy three sweeps ago in the means o∱ kiℓℓ your previous Captain {You bℓuebℓoods do ℓike your petty grudges and nonsensicaℓ revenge cycles, don't you?} or you can simpℓy accept your ℓosses and ℓet me be on my way.   
But I sincereℓy doubt you Ru∱∱iannihiℓators would do so, would you?   
You are aℓℓ too stubborn ∱or such a thing❣   
No, you are not just stubborn, are you bℓuebℓoods?   
You Highbℓoods have ∱ar too much...   
...   
_Pride._   
Well, then.   
Catch me i∱ you can.   
I know you want to.   
;)   
Yours ∱orever ∱aithfuℓℓy,   
The Contessa.   
P.S And be∱ore you ask, I am not a∱∱iℓiated with that dread∱uℓ Jade cavorting with those idiotic rebeℓs. I do have cℓass.  


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File saved as "classy space vamp" to folder "Rebels. (?)" and "Sgrub troll mention (?).  


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pontiffSpectacle [PS]  has begun trolling  taipanPhilomela [TP]   
  
  
PS: SO the 'vOOdOO trials are all mOtherfUcking finished! HOnk hOnk hOnk hOnk!  
TP: oh yeah? how did it go? i ain't checked my inbox yet. did the babez do good?  
PS: FUcking great actUally! I'm pretty impressed.   
TP: lmao zhit really? uzually like pullin fucking teeth to get you to admit that ztuff lol   
PS: FUck yOU!   
PS: BUt nah, had a pretty gOOd time with thOse little mOtherfuckers. I'm pretty happy with their prOgress.  
PS: Well, mOst anyway, Had a few fUckUps I gOtta sOrt Out, bUt we always have sOme.  
TP: ah, what happened w zome?   
PS: One in particUlar- Karlan - kept On backlashing herself with her 'vOOdOO's. Nearly drOve herself crazy Until I stepped in.  
PS: She's gOOd with the sUbtle shit, bUt whenever she tries tO crank it Up she starts targeting herself fOr sOme mOtherfUcking reasOn.  
TP: fuck, that'z zhit. :o(  
PS: Yeah pretty terrible becaUse she's Otherwise ticking the rest Of her tests Off.  
PS: SO gonna have tO dO sOme private lessOns tO help sOrt OUt her issUes. FUcking shit thOUgh.  
TP: damn, poor babe. but yeah, hoping she getz her thinkpan majyykz all zorted. wut about the otherz huh?  
PS: Pfft, real fUcking sUbtle, EminOr.   
TP: gtfo.  
PS: Gwahaha, well ya really fUcking ain't. GOing tO have tO wOrk On that.  
TP: fuck you ya little zhit. >:oI  
TP: but yeah, how'd lil gamz do?  
PS: He's...   
PS: SOmething else.   
TP: wait did he go crazy and kill anyone??  
TP: zhit! i mean, we wait a zweep between adult pupation so they can get all practiced up w their new bodiez and abilitiez along w their leveled pzychicz for we give em the trialz!! fuck.  
PS: MOtherfUck EminOr!   
PS: Calm thOse rUmble spheres!   
PS: Gamzee didn't kill any Of the Other initiates Or even fUcking snarled at One.  
PS: In fact, he's been a lOt friendlier tOwards them lately since his pUpatiOn even if he's still a bit of a snarky little mOtherfUcker tO me.  
TP: douche. :o|   
TP: but he'z better now? i ain't been talking with him much zince i've been in the carnivalz so often w the councilz riding my azz. >:o(  
PS: Yeah I think Hestia is helping, even if they all they dO is cOmplain abOUt their dead qUadrants tO each Other, paint and bake. Little shits gwhahaha.  
TP: zo they aren't hiffing diamondz or heartz?   
PS: Nah, kinda weird actUally bUt whatever. StOps COndesce frOm thrOwing a wiggler fit I suppOse.   
PS: As I was saying he passed the 'vOOdOO test nO wOrries.  
TP: but...?   
PS: BUt what?  
TP: zomething is bothering you, though. what iz it?  
PS: Like I said, he passed the test nO wOrries.  
PS: BUt he passed the test like...  
PS: FUck, I dUnnO, he was way tOO gOOd.  
PS: I feel stUpid as shit writing that, bUt he was.  
TP: he waz...too good? wtf?   
PS: Well when yOU say it like that Of cOUrse it seems stUpid! >:o(   
PS: BUt he fUcking was! Like...I have nO idea hOw he was sO fUcking great with 'vOOdOOs is all I'm saying.  
TP: how?   
PS: He's way tOO fUcking pOwerfUl, fOr One.  
PS: Like ya knOw hOw we gO thrOUgh blOOdcastes? Usually dOing midblOOds then keeping rUsts and viOlets fOr last 'caUse their thinkpans are the hardest tO crack intO yarda yarda.  
PS: He cOmpletely fUcking cracked all Of them.  
TP: like on his firzt go??   
PS: Yeah, withOUt even any effOrt.  
PS: Like, I can appreciate natUral talent as mUch as the next clOwn, bUt he's jUst in a whOle new leagUe.  
PS: He was able tO mindcOntrOl every caste withOUt effort and managed tO rewrite the memOries Of the teal and even cOmpletely erased the mind Of the brOnze in scant minUtes.  
PS: AlsO, these slaves aren't fUcking cheap, mOtherfUcking Overseer and his prices. >:o( I mean the qUality is always fUcking gOOd, bUt...  
TP: occhio don't be an azz! i really fucking doubt he could've mindwiped zomeone in fucking minutez- ya gotta be at leazt a few motherfucking hundred zweepz to get that into the zwing of thingz. not one fuckin zweep from adulthood, don't teaze me like that.   
TP: lol you're such a douche zometimez lmao   
PS: FOr fUck's sake, I'm being seriOUs!  
TP: Like the shit he pUlled Off in minUtes is sOmething Only a high rank subjUgglatOr whO specializes in 'vOOdOOs cOUld whip OUt.   
TP: i figured you'd be keen as w that zhit? like him be hella good?   
PS: I already said I'd be fine if he was a natUral! We had a few dOzen mOre Of these mOtherfUckers and that's awesOme!   
PS: BUt Gamzee is WAY beyOnd his abilities! I mean sUre, they all get a bOOst when they becOme adUlts bUt Gamzee is beyOnd that shit.  
PS: He Uses thOse 'vOOdOOs at my fUcking level.   
TP: ...like, ain't that good?   
PS: It's...   
PS: MOtherfUcker, I'm UnsUre. I'm mOre cOnfUsed than anything.   
PS: Like I dOn't think Gamzee is gOnna mUrder Us in OUr 'cOOns Or any sUch shit.   
PS: He ain't a sympathizer, he's prOven that.   
TP: hehe, yeah good we ain't had any of thoze in thiz batch tbh.   
PS: Ain't that the mOtherfUcking trUth.   
PS: BUt yeah, I jUst can't Understand hOw Gamzee is sO...   
PS: GOOd?   
PS: And I dOn't mean 'he's a natUral' gOOd bUt mOre 'he's gOt the skills yOU Only get after a fUcklOad Of sweeps Of mega mind practice' gOOd.   
PS: Which is fUcked 'caUse he's like jUst a sweep OUtta adUlthOOd mOlt.   
TP: that makez no fucking zenze, occhio.   
TP: like you're zaying he'z mega experienced but he'z way too young for it? wtf.   
PS: Ugh, dO yOU think I'm Unaware hOw fUcking stUpid it sOUnds?   
PS: I tried asking Gamzee abOUt it since he went thrOUgh the trial withOUt a single fUcking hassle bUt he jUst gOt cOnfUsed.   
PS: Said he didn't Understand why sOme Of the fellOw clOwnies fOUnd it sO hard tO cOntrOl anyOne.   
PS: He cOUld even implant fake memOries withOUt wOrries and did it sO well and practiced they were Utterly convinced they were genUine memOries and repeated qUestiOning verified they remembered nOthing awry.   
PS: Like that level Of mind meddling is hard fOr mOtherfUcking ME tO pull Off withOUt them fUckers knOwing I was in their heads.   
PS: he was jUst like "what, that shit is sUpposed tO be difficUlt?"   
PS: SmUg little mOtherfUcking gwahahaha.   
PS: BUt yeah, that was his reactiOn. He genUinely cOuldn't Understand hOw sOme were having issues Or why it was the final test since he cracked them ALL, frOm rUst tO viOlet, On the first gO.   
PS: And trUst me, nO One is that gOOd a liar and I'm nOt gOnna thinkpan 'vOOdOO scan him.   
TP: wait, you conzidered it??? >:o(   
PS: JUst fOr a mOment!   
PS: BUt yOU know I ain't gonna try that shit withOUt dUe caUse and Gamzee hasn't given me any reasOn to dOUbt his lOyalty tO the ChUrch Or tO think he's gOnna tUrn. SO he's gOt secrets and I'm being half-eaten alive with cUriOsity and stUff bUt I'm nOt gOnna brainspOnge scald him.   
TP: that is zome weird zhit, tho.   
TP: wonder how he knowz that ztuff? like mind wiping ain't eazy.   
PS: I have nO fUcking idea. I've never encOUntered sOmething like this.   
PS: Like, maybe it's sOmething in his genetics? Or maybe he's gOt anOther psychic pOwer, like being able tO cOmmUne with the ghOsts Of past SUbjUgglatOrs like thOse rUsttrashbOOd fUcks can with ghOsts?   
PS: COUld be why he's sO advanced.   
PS: UUUUgh, I dUnnO why I'm bOthering you abOUt this shit. I suppOse we'll jUst have tO try untangle this OUrselves since Gamzee is still being a little mOtherfUcker abOUt it.   
TP: it'z certainly...weird. :o/   
TP: fuck, i dunno.  
TP: lil gamz is a total wildcard with thiz zhit.   
TP: firzt he'z all over the messiahz and now he knowz thiz right off the fuckin club.   
TP: but yeah, we can't exactly go 'you fucker, how you know all thiz' amirite?   
TP: zhit.   
PS: Yeah.   
TP: guezz we're juzt gonna have to wait and zee??   
TP: hopefully after like a few dozen more zweepz he'll actually tell uz more about thiz.   
TP: fml   
PS: Ugh.   
PS: A shit trUth.   
PS: BUt that's pretty mUch my repOrt fOr the 'vOOdOO trial. SOme fUck Ups bUt I'll wOrk with thOse clOwnies tO help them OUt. Gamzee is still a secretly weird little shit as always which isn't mUch change. GOnna need sOme mOre slaves; gave the Ones left frOm the trials fOr the newbies tO play with fOr the walls.  
PS: alright. i'll try talking to him and zee if i can rattle anything outta his hornz.   
TP: anywayz congratz on getting the newbiez all through the trialz, yeah?   
PS: I sUppOse.   
PS: Bah, whatever, I'll wOrry abOUt that shit later.   
PS: UOuOU   
TP: lol yeah get ya blind azz outta here jk   
  
pontiffSpectacle [PS]  has ceased trolling  taipanPhilomela TP [TP]   


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File saved as "gamz killing it at clown exams" to folder "Subjugglators." and "Gamzee mention."   


* * *

  
  
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ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEVENEIGHTNINETENELEVEN   
12............  
TWELVE............   
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* * *

  
  
File saved as "one to twelve" to folder "Unknown importance." and "Weird shit."   


* * *

  
indenturedHerder [IH] has begun trolling  RotaryOpium [RO]   
  
IH: Hi! Ar€ you in?  
RO: yeah? i'm at my kennel so i got time for ya.  
IH: Ohh, good! I've b€€n m€aning to jam with you for a whil€.  
IH: It's not €xtr€m€ly important, so I figur€d simply a trollian jam would suffi¢€?  
RO: ehehehe, yeah just simmer down. what's been barking at ya?   
IH: W€ll um...it's just not r€ally grinding at m€, mor€so...  
RO: oh, is ya ancestor bein a scary bastard again? =:?   
IH: No, h€'s just b€ing his usual s€lf.  
IH: Suffi¢€ to say, h€'s an €motionl€ss, distant and s¢ary as usual.  
RO: rofl that's what ya get for havin the fucking overseer for an ancestor. he's like da alpha barkbeast of ya blues.   
IH: H€y, I didn't ¢hoos€ my g€n€ti¢s!  
IH: Mu¢h l€ss b€ing his appr€ntic€.   
IH: I don't think many p€opl€ know how €xhausting b€ing a slav€r is!  
RO: those lowbloods bein lil shits again?   
IH: Ugh, kind of?   
IH: W€'v€ b€€n s€nding off shipm€nts for th€ Subjugglators which ril€d a lot of th€ slav€s.  
RO: lol ya'll think they would figure out that being lil shits aint helping anythin  
IH: I've tri€d saying that but many r€main disob€di€nt and surly.   
RO: ya need to beat 'em more lol  
IH: No, that tak€s th€ir pric€ down. No one wants a b€at up slav€.   
RO: fussy shits. =>:(  
IH: Um, an arrow?   
RO: ugh, it's my muzzle snarlin! fuckin shit dont translate well lol  
IH: Ah of ¢ours€, my apologi€s. €motes ar€...hard, and I'v€ b€€n working for th€ last t€nday.  
IH: The Ov€rs€€r do€sn't lik€ m€ using th€m.  
RO: the fcuk ya dont just use his name? ya his fuckin anceser   
RO: (whoops, i mean descendant   
IH: I tri€d that onc€ and he just...   
IH: Look€d at m€.   
IH: I hav€ no id€a how som€on€ manag€s to €xud€ such disapproval without moving any of th€ir fa¢ial mus¢l€s.   
IH: It was as impr€ssiv€ as it was fright€ning.   
IH: Though aft€r that I didn't addr€ss him by his name; I just us€ his titl€.   
RO: ahaha yeah he's a scary fuck all right.  
RO: pretty good lookin tho.  
RO: must be genetics =;)  
IH: I  
IH: Stop that!   
IH: You'r€ making m€ blush, you sly barkb€ast.   
RO: ahahah bet ya squirmin in ya seat.  
RO: ma sheltered wiggler =:P  
IH: H€y!   
IH: This job is v€ry d€manding!   
IH: I do not hav€ a lot of time for...romanti¢ €nd€avors.   
RO: ahah, so the point emerges!  
RO: ya still gaggin for dat other muscley blue?  
IH: I am not 'gaggin' for anything!  
RO: =:|  
IH: W€ll, I'm not.  
RO: sure ya aint. why else ya trollin me?  
RO: like i know ya gettin pale vapours talkin w me and all  
IH: I am not!   
RO: =:|  
IH: Stop €moting at m€.   
RO: =;p  
IH: Ugh!   
IH: Fin€, I admit it.   
IH: I'm still...   
IH: Flush€d-Int€r€st€d in him.   
RO: lol have you even sniffed him?   
IH: H€'s not my mat€sprit y€t! I'm not just going to walk over and   
IH: And sniff his hair or som€thing.  
IH: €v€n if h€ do€s hav€ wond€rful hair.   
RO: yeah even i can admit his fur is nice.  
RO: like i aint ever seen some thats so nice and long and shiny   
RO: does he get it groomed? =:?   
RO: cause i want fur so long and straight hnnngh   
IH: I admit his hair is v€ry attractiv€. I wish my hair was lik€ that.   
IH: Inst€ad it's all ugly and ¢oars€ so I have to keep it ti€d up in a thi¢k nasty plait or it just go€s wild.   
RO: awww ya fur aint that bad.   
IH: Oh you'r€ just saying that.   
IH: No wond€r h€ n€v€r giv€s m€ a s€¢ond glanc€. Looking th€ way I do. :(  
RO: hey ya'll knock that shit off   
RO: i ain't gonna have you gnawing on that bone again =>:(   
RO: all ya gotta do is...i dunno, get his attention somehow.   
RO: do ya even bark at him? or just whine from afar?   
IH: I don't   
IH: I don't whin€.  
RO: lmao okay u pine, then   
IH: D:  
RO: dont even lie   
IH: Hmph.   
IH: Fin€.   
IH: I just   
IH: It's so hard for m€ to broa¢h a subj€ct! Do I just go up to him and go, "H€y, want to buy som€ slav€s? B€st in th€ €mpir€!"   
RO: did u try it?   
IH: Sorta?   
IH: H€   
IH: W€ll, he got fairly... frosty, a¢tually wh€n he found out my job.   
RO: pfft why da fuck would he care about slaves?   
RO: only lowbloods and shitty highbloods are in ya kennels, y he give a fuck   
RO: like imma fucking teal and ripper to paw and i aint all hackles up over ur job   
IH: I am unsur€.   
IH: B€for€ all that he was quit€ fri€ndly towards m€ and now h€ do€sn't want to sp€ak to m€ anymor€. :(   
RO: u want me to go beat him up?   
IH: What?   
IH: No!   
IH: I don't want him thinking I ran to you just b€¢aus€ h€ do€sn't like m€ anymor€.   
RO: so what, ya snuffling pitch?   
IH: No, I don't want him to hat€ m€. :(   
IH: It mak€s me ups€t just to think about it.   
RO: aww fuck im sorry =:(   
RO: okay ok so we aint gonna try ad get him to flip on ya   
RO: (and   
RO: so is he just acting snotty cause ya job or something?   
RO: cause hes a fuckin blue anyways so what the fuck is his high and mighty job ehhh???   
IH: H€'s an €ngin€€r or som€thing.   
IH: Or p€rhaps a M€¢hanist?  
RO: is he a descendant of the MeKanist? would explain his 'bluh bluh slaver' reaction.   
IH: No, h€'s not g€n€ti¢ally r€lat€d to _that_ one, thank goodn€ss.   
IH: H€ just s€€ms to dislik€ m€- or my job mor€ sp€¢ifi¢ally.   
RO: ...   
IH: What?   
RO: like i dont wanna take a shot at ya flushed but   
IH: But what?   
RO: he sounds kinda like a synpathizer   
RO: (sympathizer   
IH: What?!   
RO: oh come on!   
RO: gettin all shitty after finding out ya the descendant of the overseer and in charge of the slaving kennels??   
RO: sounds like a 'boohoo slavery is baaaaaaad' sufferersupport doucheshit.   
IH: I   
IH: W€ll, I did €nt€rtain the id€a.   
RO: zhanna, ya gotta report it.   
RO: even if he aint he sounds pretty anti-slavery and that could branch out yanno   
IH: I know! But I don't want him to think I si¢¢€d th€ L€gisla¢t€rators on him just b€¢aus€ h€ wasn't r€ciptiv€ of my flush soli¢itations or that h€ dissaprov€d of my job.  
RO: (ehhehehe sicced!!! =:D   
RO: but for real, hes puttin up some hella red flags.   
RO: and what do ya think is gonna happen if ya ancestor finds out u didnt report this? cause ya know hes gonna figure this shit out   
RO: then youll get in the barkbeastbox somethin fierce, yeah?   
RO: he aint worth ya   
IH: I suppos€...   
RO: look, best case scenario u report him and they find nothin and ya can carry on tryin. worse? hes a sympathizer and he gets a hangin but ya get ya muzzle cleaned  
IH: I gu€ss...   
RO: do ya gotta guess?   
IH: ...   
IH: No.   
IH: I don't.   
IH: Alright fin€, I'll report this.   
RO: ya want me ta do it? got some packmates in da legislacerator ranks so ya'll get a discount.   
IH: Alright. I'll s€nd you th€ do¢um€nts of his lo¢ation, ¢urr€nt job and quadrants.  
IH: I'll hav€ to s€nd it in a f€w hours how€v€r, I n€€d to round up som€ strays.   
RO: sure stuff ya. hopefully he aint hiding shit and if he is?   
RO: welp ya got a bonus- takin out a sympathizer and maybe gettin ya ancesotrs approval   
RO: (dat fucking word =:|   
IH: Okay. Hop€fully €quius isn't hiding anything that'll g€t him noos€d.  
RO: haha truth yeah   
RO: ♦  
IH: ♦  
  
indenturedHerder [IH] has ceased trolling  RotaryOpium [RO]   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "teal/blue diamonds romance" to folder "Empire slave trade." and "Sgrub troll mention."   


* * *

  
  
TO:  secretiveBumble   
FROM:  ghostlyHoofbeast   
TPOIC: POTENTIAL SCUTTLEBEAST BOILER.  
MESSAGE: ❝I am afraid we may have a potential risk to the scuttlebeast within our meetings❞ ❝I've been paying a lot of attention to certain groups (since even the lowbloods are a risk or being spies or traitors) and I have noted some suspicious behaviour from three individuals which has been spread across the last four gatherings❞ ❝This includes extreme nervousness and shifty behaviour, standoffish and hostile reactions to simple questions and refusal to approach the scuttlebeast itself❞ ❝Consulting the undead was a hit-and-miss since I tried asking if those three were a threat and they simply responded (everyone could be) before they went on to ignore me❞ ❝I recommend we at least detain them for a more indepth investigation to make certain they aren't infiltrators❞  
  
TO:  ghostlyHoofbeast   
FROM:  secretiveBumble   
TPOIC: RE: POTENTIAL SCUTTLEBEAST BOILER.  
MESSAGE: sure thing= imma drop a buzz ▼ w the dragon and C what we can do 2 stop the scuttlebeast going 2 pot from these swarms >8K   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "rust/yella crab troubles" to folder "Scuttlebeast mention."   


* * *

  
  
Reconnaissance Report: #######9866 Elanae- Planet #########   
Scouting ### perimeter ## ordered. Taking #### not ## be spotted or upwind of #######.   
Verified ### involvement ## ACTIVE Jade. Followed ### three miles ## ####.   
Confirmed Jade unable to ##### while powers ### activated. Even Rainbow Drinker ### unable to #####.   
Verified ### involvement ## Highblood ###### SYMPATHIZERS.   
Suggest #### ## depth ##############.   
Verified ####### ## winged LOWBLOOD.   
Saw #### #######.   
Unable ## confirm ## BRONZE or RUST however.   
###### ### confirmed lowblood rank ###.   
Last #### there ### # winged lowblood REBELLION occurred.   
Nearly ####### EMPIRE ### caused ####### UNREST ### sweeps #####.   
Recommend IMMEDIATE ACTION.   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "colbalt spy" to folder "Troll rebels."   


* * *

  
  
taipanPhilomela [TP]  has begun trolling  ebisuCratylus [EC]   
  
TP: eeeeeyyyyeee gratia! you there? :o)  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) YES?  
TP: got a few minz to zpare to chat w me? aint nothing too intenze or anything, juzt wanna talk about gamz.   
EC: (◡_◡✿) IS this about that attacking incident with HIM? I do not blame him for his actions despite being forced to punish HIM. SHE should have know better than continuing to solicitate him for black when he made it clear he did not RECIPROCATE.   
TP: nah my hornz ain't all bent outta zhape about that; fuckin zchoolfeeding iz zhit if they don't fuckin figure out ignore 'pizz off' quez rezult in teeth in the face :o|   
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I admit the schoolfeeding does leave a lot to be DESIRED. MANY of the initiates lacked such basic FACTS.  
TP: yeah like one azked me for real what a 'helmzman' waz.   
EC: (◡_◡✿) ...  
TP: total zhit zmh  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) REGARDLESS, they have turned into a nice little circus of CLOWNS. ALSO you expressed interest in speaking to me about GAMZEE. WHY is THAT?  
TP: cauze i know you went and zpoke to him after we got him onboard the flagzhip along with the other mini clownz cauze occhio mentioned it.  
EC: (◕‿◕✿) DID HE?  
TP: yeah but dont be pizzed, he waz hella ztrezzed and it juzt kinda murked up in hiz thinkpan while we were voodooin w each other :o/  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) FINE. AND your interest in this IS...?   
TP: he underztood you?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) YES.  
TP: and you didnt like find that weird az zhit or anything?  
TP: like i went over there for a blahblah at him and he was juzt happy as zhit to talk w me without hazzel.  
TP: did u teach him?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) NO.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) WHY would I?  
TP: so it didn't zeem completely fuckin weird at how he zomehow knew zign language right off?  
EC: (◡_◡✿) I was INTRIGUED. BUT unlike Occhio I don't see rebels and sympathizers left right and CENTRE.  
TP: lmao yeah he is kinda paranoid  
TP: but he'z got a point w gamz- that language is limited to uz like?  
TP: zo i figured he was maybe juzt guezzin w you zo i went and talked w him later but he got everythin i was zigning to him. :oI  
EC: ( ◕‿◕✿) YOU thought I was LYING?  
TP: nah nah, just ya sometimez mutter your wordz under ya breath when zigning ztuff cause ya can ztill talk even if youre deaf, zo i thought maybe he waz picking up on that? hence why he could underztand ya zo good   
EC: (◡‿◡✿) ALRIGHT THEN. WHAT were your FINDINGS?  
TP: he iz totally keen on zign language- like he fuckin knew everything and i made zure to keep my mind zealed up like a zeadwellerz bank account zo he couldnt of gotten anythin from my ztray thoughtz  
TP: juzt fucking weird  
TP: like how can he underztand that zhit right off? it aint on the zchoolfeed  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) NO, it certainly ISN'T. I am unsure of how he gained such KNOWLEDGE.   
TP: did ya try azking him afterwardz?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I didn't ask because I was afraid I was accidentally intimidating HIM. AFTER all he was barely more than an initiate at the TIME.  
TP: lol yeah wigglerz are adorable az fuck  
TP: but anywayz i tried azking him cauze it was after one of the paint zezzionz with Azalia and they were all pretty chill afterwardz  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) YES I saw some of their ART. IT was very SWEET.   
TP: pfft yeah make wee painterz outta them yet ;o)  
TP: but i questioned gamz about it and he was juzt like 'lol i dunno i juzt know thiz zhit'  
TP: like im calling major hoofbeaztzhit on that one  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) HE is ODD. HOWEVER I wouldn't label him a risk simply because of THAT.  
TP: well i dunno wtf to do- how can i accept 'i juzt know that zhit' az an excuze from him? how can he know that right off? fucking weird zhit.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I don't KNOW.  
TP: thatz real fucking helpful gratia :oI  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) WHAT do you want me to SAY? I will not verifiy a scan unless he gives us due cause which he has NOT. KNOWING a supposed secret language limited to a few is suspicious but he has never once behaved in a sympathizer MANNER.  
TP: i know that zhit! he aint a rebel i know that >:o(  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) THEN WHAT?  
TP: gee iz it zo fuckin weird i wanna know how the fuck he knowz thiz?  
TP: like wow gam you totez know thiz fuckin language only a few of uz highrank motherfuckerz know  
TP: and zomehow i doubt he haz zome fuckin pzychic power that letz him underztand that zhit  
TP: like wow zo weird i'm kinda whacked w thiz  
EC: ( ◕‿◕✿) DON'T snap at ME.  
TP: hizzzz!  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) LOOK, I can understand your CONCERN. HOWEVER we cannot scan Gamzee without due cause and knowing a supposed limited language isn't ENOUGH.   
TP: zo what, we juzt leave it?  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) WE can ask him more questions about IT.  
TP: i zuppose  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) AT the moment it is all we can DO. HE is not behaving suspiciously or SECRETIVELY. FOR all we know he has a latent psychic abilities such as rusts or yellows have that enable him to speak to the DEAD. THAT could explain him having knowledge about this TOPIC. ESPECIALLY if he communed with the ghosts upon our FLAGSHIP.  
TP: bah i guezz ya right  
TP: no point zcreamin and yellin at him when he aint done harmful zhit  
TP: alright fine i'll leave it- just wanted to azk, okay  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) IT'S ALRIGHT.  
EC: (◡‿◡✿) I will attempt to question him about it at a later time however I don't believe he is any THREAT.  
TP: yeah i get that  
TP: ztill thankz for liztening to my whining lol  
TP: zee ya  
EC: (◡‿◡❤)   
  
taipanPhilomela [TP]  has ceased trolling  ebisuCratylus [EC]   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "gamz w sign language" to folder "Gamzee mention."   


* * *

  
  
INTERROGATION 1234-9998-POL-21   
HEAD LEGISLACERATOR IN INTERROGATION- Wexley Qualms [WQ] AKA LEGISLACERATOR DULCIANA.   
SUBJECT: INTERROGATION OF SUSPECT CAUGHT WITH BANNED SUFFRAGE PARAPHERNALIA [Necklace depicting banned irons found in subject's respite block after being reported by coworker.]  
SUSPECT: Kualia Huture [SUSPECT] COBALTBLOOD.   
INTERROGATION CHANGED FROM VIDEO TO SCRIPT FORMAT FOR DIFFERING TRANSMISSIONS. QUIRKS NOT APPLICABLE.   
SEE FILES FOR RELATIVE QUIRKS FOR DULCIANA [LEGISLACERATOR] AND HUTURE [SUSPECT]   
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT.   
WQ: You see this, don't you? [WQ HOLDS UP NECKLACE]   
SUSPECT: [REMAIN SILENT]   
WQ: [STRIKES SUSPECT] Oh don't you even think about trying that ridiculous 'I have conveniently forgotten how to use my proteinchute' on me, fool.   
SUSPECT: What do you want me to say, you gutless civil servant?   
WQ: Ah, not a mime after all? [REDACT- NO OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOURS TOWARDS THE SUBJUGGULATION CASTE ON DULCIANA'S BEHALF.]   
SUSPECT: No, I'm not. Do what you will.   
WQ: So high and mighty! Feeling the wonderous righteous glow of being a Highblood slumming it with those...how you say, rebels? Feeling above the rest of us for such a thing? Bah, spare me.  
SUSPECT: I already know you're going to kill me. So stop wasting my time and just do it.   
WQ: True, you shall hang regardless. But you do have a choice for how it happens- short and easy, or long and nasty?   
SUSPECT: What, you want me to say your hair looks great? I'd have to be dead six sweeps before that looks presentable.   
WQ: Hm, can't insult like one of those scummy lowbloods you've let yourself be corrupted by.   
SUSPECT: Fuck you. [SPITS AT WQ]   
WQ: [DOES NOT CARE] Yup, you've turned into a lowblood. How disgusting. Stringing you up will be a mercy; least it would choke the swill from your veins.   
SUSPECT: I'm a higher rank than you.   
WQ: Ha, fuck you. Who's in that wonderful, spiky chair? You. Who's free? Me. You know why? Because I OBEY.   
SUSPECT: Really.   
WQ: Yes. And the Condesce likes those who obey. Hence why I will kill you once I'm done. But all the same- where are the rebels?   
SUSPECT: How the fuck should I know?   
WQ: [STRIKES SUSPECT] Don't lie to me. I know you've been in contact with one of them. That little green bitch.   
SUSPECT: Charming.   
WQ: Do you know where she went?   
SUSPECT: No.   
WQ: [STRIKES SUSPECT] How about now?   
SUSPECT: No.   
WQ: [STRIKES SUSPECT] Hmm? Jogging the thinkpan?   
SUSPECT: [GRUNTS]   
WQ: Fine then. Perhaps I'll give you to the clowns to play with. They have a new Grand Highblod, you know. A real chip off the old block.   
SUSPECT: Really.   
WQ: Don't act surprised; We already know those rebel scum are aware of this.   
SUSPECT: Clowns aren't very good at keeping their mouths shut, even if they're sewn shut.   
WQ: Oh boo hoo. Anyway, you don't like clowns that much, do you? One killed your precious little spade as I recall.   
SUSPECT: Don't talk about her.   
WQ: I'll talk about who ever I fucking want. But as I was saying, I think the new Grand Highblood needs to be bloodened. So why not let us find that scummy mutant of yours so he can get a proper welcome?  
SUSPECT: No, no matter what you do I will not betray him or his cause. Just string me up and stop your blithering.  
WQ: So there _is_ a mutant in charge of the rebels? A 'He'?   
SUSPECT: I...   
WQ: Ha, you colbalts. So fucking arrogant until someone gets you by the shame globes. You just fucking outted the mutant due to pride.   
SUSPECT: I did not-   
WQ: You fucking did. That'll I needed from you and all the Condesce demanded. Have a nice time swining.   
END TRANSCRIPT.   
LEGISLACERATOR DULCIANA HUNG KUALIA HUTARE THIRTEEN MINUTES AFTER ENDED INTERROGATION.  
BODY WAS RECOVERED LATER AND KINDLY DONATED TO THE CHURCH.   
HUTARE'S QUADRANT MATES- ASH AND PALE -WERE ALSO TRACKED DOWN AND CULLED IN CASE CHANCE OF EXTERNAL CORRUPTION FROM SYMPATHIZER.   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "interrogation sympathizer" to folder "Troll rebels." and "Highblood rebels."  


* * *

  
  
+he Museum of Al+ernian Empire His+ory [Group ou+ing] Subjuggla+or Base Sta+ion 3499~  
Oh, such a wonderous +hing happened +oday!! :o)   
My mind is jus+ ahumming like a swarm of bumblebeas+s!!!   
+hank +he Messiahs for such a beau+iful gif+ <3333   
Ahem, alrigh+ I'm a li++le exci+ed righ+ now bu+ oh my goodness, such news, such news!   
Well, as per Eminor's insis+ance, we'd +aken all our newly integra+ed Subjuggla+ors +o +he Base s+a+ion where our Museum was~ She wan+ed +o give +hem a more indep+h his+ory lesson and now +ha+ +hey're all nicely pupa+ed adul+s and passed +heir +rials +o boo+ +hey can in+erac+ safely wi+h +he res+ of +he flee+~  
+he wee new clownies were so hilariously en+er+ained by +he museum and ac+ually being allowed +o in+erac+ wi+h o+her +rolls, ra+her +han +he Pries+ormen+ors +hey've been s+uck wi+h for nigh on +wo sweeps~   
Adorable wee darlings~   
Bu+ anyway, we were showing +he lil' clownies more abou+ +heir his+ory, including +he cons+ruction of +he Church which was crea+ed long before our beau+iful current Empress' reign, +he winged Subjuggla+ors and o+her Highbloods, +he souvenirs of pas+ rebellions which were pu+ down~~~   
I+ was when we were +alking abou+ +he bloodcas+es and +heir relevance +o +he rebellions did we ge+ +his spec+acular bi+ of news!   
Eminor was discussing +he whole mu+an+ +hing and how +hose ridiculous lowbloods go+ +he idio+ic rebellion idea in +heir heads which led +o +heir rampan+ cycle of stupidi+y and +ha+ daf+ cul+ based up +he cherry blooded abomina+ion who died for his blasphemy~   
Qui+e frankly I do enjoy +he story of +ha+ mu+an+, purely because i+ is so hilarious and inglorious even if i+ was, a+ +he core, all +ha+ s+upid Jadeblood's faul+~ Should have purged +he whole cas+e for +ha+, in my opinion~   
Bu+ as I was saying, while Eminor was re-educa+ing +he newbies upon +he rebellion and +he crimsonblood who s+irred every+hing up Gamzee dropped a bombshell; tha+ he personally KNEW a crimsonblooded mu+an+ while a wiggler on Al+ernia!  
Eminor and myself were na+urally, qui+e baffled and +hough+ he was having ano+her of his memory confusions bu+ on fur+her ques+ioning he explained i+ fur+her- apparen+ly while on Al+ernia he'd been in con+ac+ wi+h a +roll who'd hid +heir words on +rollian wi+h grey~   
Now, i+'s no+ unheard of for wigglers +o play abou+ wi+h bloodcas+es and for lowbloods +o fan+asize abou+ no+ being +he scum of +he hemospec+rum bu+ Gamzee explained fur+her +ha+ he saw +he mu+an+ cry on several separa+e occasions and i+- or 'his' as Gamzee said -+ears were red~ Of course, I assumed he was jus+ mis+aking rus+ for ruby bu+ he also men+ioned he saw +he mu+an+ ge+ s+abbed~ He wasn'+ par+icularly helpful on whom stabbed +he foul li++le crea+ure, however~  
On being pressed, he remarked he killed +he mu+an+ a+ some poin+ of +ime +ha+ +urned ou+ +o be irrelevan+ and no+ +rue and +hen said in +he end +he mu+an+'s 'alpha' was as red as +he one he apparen+ly did kill, bu+ didn'+ where i+ ma++ered~~~   
~~~Yes, Gamzee is s+ill a bi+ confused abou+ many things~ Poor dear, +he scarring will always leave i+'s marks~   
Bu+ as I was saying, he elabora+ed more upon +he mu+an+ and his descrip+ion perfec+ly fi+s wi+h +ha+ stupid mu+an+- or Sufferer (Ha, +ha+ name XO) ) -descrip+ion~   
Run+y heigh+, small, nubby horns of a oval, sligh+ly curved shape, blun+ tee+h~   
He even described +he mu+an+'s shackles which +he descendan+ has apparen+ adop+ed as a symbol!   
+o +hink, +he descendan+ is s+upid enough +o wear +he symbols of his ances+or's dea+h as a symbol! We would be doing +his thing a favour by spla++ering it all over +he walls :o/   
+ha+ verifies i+ even more, since we had no+ go++en +o +he room housing +he shackles +ha+ mu+an+ was s+rung up in and none of +he clownies had ye+ chosen a respec+ive pa+h wi+hin +he Church +o learn abou+ +he forbidden symbols~   
Bu+ Gamzee, despi+e his confusions, is not one for lying~ He +ruly believes in his weird li++le gaps and alterna+ive lives/experiences~ Bu+ i+ doesn'+ really cause any harm, so i+'s no +rue issue~  
Upon fur+her inquiries from Eminor, he gave her permission +o view one of his memories of +he mu+an+ and she carefully scanned his mind~   
And he was righ+!!!! :oD  
As I live and brea+he!   
Firs+ off I don'+ unders+and why +he Mo+her Grub would inflic+ one of +hese mu+an+s upon our race again bu+ we shall +rim +he diseased limbs of her gene+ic +ree~   
But i+ also confirms +he rumours we've been hearing abou+ +he 'Sufferer being born again'~ Like +he o+hers I dismissed i+ as +ypical lowblood s+upidi+y since we ge+ rumours like +his every couple of sweeps and i+ would always +urn ou+ delusional peasan+s making up shi+~ Sweeps wai+ing for a 'Messiah' >:o(  
However Gamzee verifies i+! And +hose s+upid li++le rumours abou+ +he Sufferer reborn~   
Oh gosh, I never +hough+ I would live long enough +o see +ha+ wondrous, blasphemous hue ha+ched again!   
I so hope our darling Empress ca+ches him! Wha+ she did +o his ances+or was glorious~ Seeing someone, +he face of +he 'rebellion' their so-called 'Signless', so publicly _break_ from agony and +urn in+o a raging screaming wreck of burning ha+e was jus+ so spec+acular I'm ge++ing giddy simply remembering i+~   
+he absolu+e highligh+ of my younger years; jus+ a wiggler off +he lusus when +ha+ occurred~   
Ye+ I s+ill feel a similar fury at +ha+ redblooded +hing inspiring +ha+ disgus+ing shi+blood who wen+ on +o slay our beloved Grand Highblood~  
I am confidan+ +he beau+iful Condesce will likewise share my opinion on +his ma++er and she shall be eager +o know of Gamzee's pas+ affilia+ion and knowledge of +his Sufferer reborn~  
Oh, +o pain+ +he walls wi+h +ha+ glorious, fil+hy red!   
Perhaps +ha+ can be a welcome gif+ for +he new Grand Highblood?   
Perhaps a cer+ain +roll whom brough+ us +his valuable informa+ion? :o)   
Ah, no +ime +o dwell upon +his!   
I mus+ aler+ +he Condesce a+ once!   
And +his should cer+ainly ease Occhio's niggling doub+s; he can hardly +hink Gamzee a sympa+hizer af+er +his~   
Oh I'm jus+ so exci+ed!   


* * *

  
  
File saved as "damnit gamzee" to folder "Troll rebels." and "Clown therapy." and "Sgrub troll mention."  


* * *

  
  
LupineQuail [LQ] has sent WaternooseNebula [WB] a message!  
  
LQ: An ѺÐ€ to the hʊm฿le sʊttle฿east.   
LQ: *Ahem.*   
LQ: Oh scʊttle฿east, oh scʊttle฿east.   
LQ: How yoʊ are sʊch a delicioʊs feast.   
LQ: Yet we shall never eat yoʊr delicate flesh.   
LQ: With those claws it is a clever mesh.   
LQ: With yoʊr ru฿y-red stalk eyes.   
LQ: And that rʊstic one which flies.   
LQ: Oh scʊttle฿east, oh scʊttle฿east.   
LQ: How yoʊr shell is so creast.   
LQ: Yet we only hear the scream of noise.   
LQ: With that firey, ʊpfront poise.   
LQ: With those tiny, tiny orange horns.   
LQ: And for all those former moʊrns.   
LQ: Oh scʊttle฿east, oh scʊttle฿east.   
LQ: How yoʊ are the one who hates the least.   
LQ: Yet the ire yoʊ always screech is hot.   
LQ: With only those who need it not.   
LQ: With the iron glowing oh so ฿right.   
LQ: And those claws who clack tonight.   
LQ: Oh scʊttle฿east, oh scʊttle฿east.   
LQ: How you wish to ฿lood feast.   
LQ: Yet only throʊgh the gentle nag.   
LQ: With the sweet sense of friendly tag.   
LQ: With the stʊ฿฿y legs which are so stoʊt.   
LQ: And those rantings that go oʊt.   
LQ: Oh scʊttle฿east, oh scʊttle฿east.   
LQ: How you are so fʊll of meats.   
LQ: Yet you control those crowds.   
LQ: With those glorioʊs frowns.   
LQ: With those screeching shrieks.   
LQ: And those awesome, thoughfʊl meets.   
  
WaternooseNebula [WB] has sent a reply!  
  
WB: Ш♄α⊥ ⊥нε α¢⊥υαℓ ḟü¢ḱ⁇  


* * *

  
  
File saved as "epic ode from brown to violet" to folder "Scuttlebeast mention."   


* * *

 

"Roxy, you in here?"

Roxy ignored the gentle call, her fingers rhythmically clacking on the keyboard as she started to decode another file without pause. The painful burn of her cramped back muscles and fingers was nearing unbearable but the Rogue ignored it as she carried on typing.

"Roxy?"

She once ignored the quiet, repeated inquiry, her mind completely focused on the glowing computer screen before her, squinting slightly as she focused on unlocking yet another file.

It was only when a hand landed on her shoulder and tugged her forcibly around did Roxy managed to tear her gaze away from the numerous lines of text. The sudden contrast of the brightness of the screen and the dimly-lit computer lab caused her to instinctively flinch, blinking rapidly as her eyes stung with tears from the abrupt change.

"You okay? I've been saying your name for a few minutes," John took his hand off her shoulder and gave her a worried look, his blue eyes tense behind their customary thick glasses.

"Hmm? Shit, Johnny wind sock, didn't hear ya," Roxy gave the Heir a weak smile as she rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her palm, her muscles burning as all her aches came roaring back with a vengeance. With a grunt she rolled her shoulders, wincing as everything throbbed painfully. She must have been working for longer than she'd thought.

John just grinned back at her, his bucktoothed smile far more natural and at ease than Roxy's own terse one, "Yeah, Dirk said you'd probably be in one of your programming moods. Have you even slept once since you've...come back here?"

"Nah, I'll sleep when I'm dead," she said flippantly even as she bitterly thought, _Even though if I do die Janey ain't here to zap me back_. Her eyes prickled with more tears as her weak smile fell completely off her face. Scowling Roxy forced herself further away from the computer desk, the wheels on her chair squeaking as she pivoted around to face John fully, "What you in here for, anyways? I've got a load of shit to do."

"Well, I brought you some food since I think even you can't live off just caffeine forever," John said, lifting up the plate he was holding in his spare hand.

It was like her brain suddenly remembered essential things other than long lines of twisting Alternian code; a loud angry gurgle erupted from her stomach and Roxy immediately seized the plate, nearly sending the lamb chops on it flying. She swatted at the top of her desk and sent several empty coffee cups ricocheting in all directions; John promptly snatched them up with furls of wind before they struck the ground. Meanwhile the plate barely touched the desktop before she snatched up one of the chops.

She promptly started to tear into the meat without preamble, teeth ripping off goblets of the juicy flesh and swallowing it down before sinking her teeth back into the chop. Roxy gave a muffled grunt of thanks, ignoring the gravy smearing her chin and dripping down her hands.

John just hummed in response as he carefully put the dirty cups on an adjacent table, making no mention of her atrocious table habits. He nimbly stacked them on one another, asking, "Have you had any luck?"

"Mmmpggh," Roxy tried to blurt out, sending some flecks of meat spraying onto the table. She chewed and swallowed, licking her lips before rasping out, "Fuck all, to be honest. There is so much shit to go through; even though we've managed to decrypt the files of their overall blanket script, _every_ file, including the ones in the _same fucking folder_ , are all locked down using different codes and algorithms. With the blanket scripts being broken it only takes around twenty minutes or so to unlock a file, but there are _billions_ of them to fucking go through," at the end of it Roxy was clenching the lamb chop in her hand so hard her fingers were starting to cramp. With a grunt she crammed it back into her mouth, chewing moodily.

John looked as frustrated as Roxy felt, "Yeah, Dirk said as much when he came to talk to us. But at least you guys can do something; I don't understand any of this shit so I'm just sitting around being useless," the Heir made a sound of frustration, cursing under his breath as the cups fell off their small tower and rolled along the desk.

Abandoning a second attempt at stacking, John rummaged around in his pants pocket before pulling out a page of folded up paper, "Oh, but Jade did send me off to give you this!"

"Mhhap ifh iump?" Roxy tried to speak past a mouthful of lamb. She grimaced and chewed before swallowing down the stubborn mouthful and repeating herself, "What is it?"

"Oh, well you know how Jade collapsed?"

"Yeah? She's okay, though?" Roxy frowned, suddenly feeling guilty for forgetting the Witch's impromptu blacking out session earlier.

"She's fine- just fainted from exhaustion and her blood pressure skyrocketed hence the blood all over the place," John tried to smile, "But she's still in the med bay and she's been ordered to rest for a few days because she nearly gave herself a heart attack. She's pretty pissed but Rose is still with her and isn't letting her leave. But she was going stircrazy so Dirk sent her some of the information you guys got from the Observer."

Roxy glanced up from the now mostly-bare lamb chop bone she was gnawing on, "She find anything good?"

"Actually, she figured out where Alternia was located."

With a grunt Roxy put the bare bone on the plate and carefully licked her fingers clean of gravy. She inspected her hands before folding them on her lap and then turning to face John. Trying to keep her voice calm and even, she said, "That's nice. Really nice, but like totally unhelpful 'cause even if we send a fucking nuke it won't blow those fuckers up until like several hundred centuries later and we'll all be _fucking dead by then_ -"

"No, Roxy, we're not going to blow up Alternia," John interrupted, a bite in his voice. Roxy was tempted to throw one of the bare lamb bones at his face before the Heir stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he inhaled slowly, before carefully saying, "It's not that, okay? Jade had a different plan. She found out where Alternia was located and then started working on trollian."

For a few moments Roxy thought she'd misheard him, "You mean the troll's chat client?"

John offered the piece of folded up paper to the Rogue, saying, "Yeah, she spent a lot of time figuring it out and trying to see if you could search for individual handles on it. I really can't understand any of the shit she wrote down, but Rose also helped- she said some of these numbers just felt like the 'lucky ones' so she jotted them down. Well, you know how she gets-"

Roxy snatched the paper out of John's hand, fatigue a background notion. She unfolded the paper and started scanning the numerous lines of technical jargon scrawled upon it in Jade's curling handwriting with a few elegant additions from Rose.

"So can you do something with it?" John asked anxiously, leaning forward, "Because I think maybe Rose was right- maybe finding the rebels or even the original Game players isn't such a bad idea. Beause if Gamzee is alive then surely-"

"John, stow that mantrap for a moment, would you?" Roxy said distractedly, swinging herself back in front of her computer. She read the paper again and started clacking away on the keyboard with John hovering by her shoulder.

"Will it work? Like I couldn't understand what the hell Jade was talking about, but-"

The Rogue grinned, "Leave that technical shit to us ladies, John. Jade was on the fucking ball with this thing, same as old Rosie. Aha!" with a flourish she leaned back and waved at the screen, grinning up at John, "See that, blue boy? We can track down trollian handles now- usually that shit is hella tight and nigh impossible but with Compes' data and Jade and Rose adding their lil' bits of magic I can track down any fucker who's used this program before as long as I know the total basic shit about them."

John's smile this time was genuine, "So you can find the other Game troll players?"

Roxy cracked her knuckles, a sudden burst of adrenaline momentarily banishing her aches, "Sure thing, Johnny windsock. So, which ugly-ass little troll we looking for?"

John choked slightly under his breath as he stepped closer to Roxy as she started typing away on her computer. Clearing his throat, he replied, "Jade figured he'd be the best bet for help and Rose agrees. You'll be able to find him, now that we know where Alternia is and Jade got into the trollian programming codes?"

"Sure as I am beautiful; I can even set it back to only search ten years ago- or sweeps, whatever -so we get the right one. This is kinda where all those quirks and colour wanking from those idiots comes in handy since if we figure out the quirks and hue we can track them down- you know what the colour code was for this dude's handle back then? And he got any quirks?"

"It's six-two-six-two-six-two. He wrote in all caps and had perfect spelling and grammar."

"Huh, simple enough. Totally boring-ass colour, though. And the trolltag?"

"Carcino geneticist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! :33


	14. Eye see you

__

_Everything hurt; her chest, her legs, her arms, her fingers but her head was the worst. An insidious, almost blinding pain was radiating through her skull, centered on the middle of her forehead and causing her to moan lowly as she slowly rose into consciousness._

_As Jane weakly tried to move, she was became blearily aware she was slumped across someone's bony lap while she could hear familiar voices in the distance. Drunkenly she groped around, struggling to open her eyes as she pawed at whoever was holding her; she knew who they were the instant a clawed hand started patting her sweaty hair and the smell of face paint invaded her nose. As she peered up through cracked glasses Gamzee's scarred face came into view. The clown was looking down at her, a frown on his usually cheery face and his usually immaculate paint was smudged and splattered with teal and purple paint._

_She tried to smile back at him, sick and shaky but it quickly faded as she noticed all the thick dark purple splattered over his chest, his shirt had been partially sliced open and matching stains around his mouth._

_"What's...what's this?" She tentatively asked, cautiously touching his sternum. Jane would've assumed it was blood if it weren't for the odd colour and coldness, "What happened? Are you alright?"_

_Gamzee didn't respond, instead he tugged her closer against his chest, one hand braced on her hip and the other still patting her hair. Jane was confused- the last thing she remembered was ascending to God-tier, the strange screaming man covered in rainbows, Jade showing up then...green and red and Jane flinched as another pulse of agony radiated through her skull. She tentatively touched her forehead with her spare hand and was horrified when she pulled it back to see red blood stains on her finger tips._

_What had happened? What couldn't she remember?_

_"Janey?" Roxy's voice cut through Jane's panicked thoughts like a knife and the Maid turned her head slightly, watching Roxy walk up to her, "You okay?"_

_The Rogue- Jane noted her friend's new Godtier outfit and it was such a nice colour to Jane's own horrible new beige - carefully tottered over the broken earth and was nearly up to Jane when Gamzee's head snapped up and he snarled at her, baring rows of long teeth. Jane was shocked at the ferocity in the noise and Roxy wisely halted, her hands raised. Gamzee's snarling simmered down to a low growl, a rumble Jane could feel through the hand still resting on his sternum._

_"I'm fine...I ache beyond belief, but I'm alive...what in Grim's name happened?" Jane eventually asked, tearing her gaze away from Gamzee's scowling face to Roxy's._

_"We killed that grotty-ass seabitch is what!" Roxy exclaimed, a bright smile appearing on her face as she hopped up and down in place, "I mean, a few other crazy shit happened, but we fucking ganked her when she showed up."_

_"What? When did this happen?"_

_Roxy's smiled faded and she looked apologetic, "You were kinda brainwashed and crazy for a while; same with Jakey's dog grandma."_

_"What?!"_

_The Rogue quickly held up her fingerless-gloved hands in placation, "It's okay, Janey! I promise! Your boyfriend grabbed onto you when everything went to shit and he stopped you from trying to fork our asses while we killed that bitch and we got that fucking horrible thing off your head. You blacked out but you didn't seem hurt."_

_Jane had a terrible notion she knew exactly what the 'fucking horrible thing' on her head had been, but she decided she couldn't deal with that right now. Instead she tried to peer past Roxy where she could see Dirk's familiar form standing with his sword at the ready alongside Jake- Good Lord what were those two wearing? Jane decided she liked her outfit a lot more now._

_But the Prince was arguing with someone who could only be his alternative universe brother- who else would wear sunglasses all the time -and they were too far away for Jane to know what they were talking about. Off to the side Jane recognized Jade, who was kneeling on the ground with a girl in orange and boy in blue sitting next to her. And by them..._

_Jane blinked; more trolls? Well, they didn't seem as crazy as the Condesce, whom Jane assumed the towering mass of hair and horns by the ruined remains of a burning troll ship in the distance was. If anything one with nubby horns appeared to be crying next to a mush-up grey and black body-like object that was covered a liberal amount of green/blue paint while a tall one with a red skirt tried to comfort him. But what really drew Jane's attention was the scarlet troll hovering over them all, with sparkling butterfly wings thrumming to keep her aloft, ram-like horns glowing in the fire of the Condesce's ruined ship._

_"She's a Maid like me," Jane said dumbly; a nicer palette obviously but her uniform was identical to Jane's. The clawed hand in Jane's hair ceased its patting._

_"Eh?" Roxy looked confused before she looked over her shoulder; as if noticing their gazes the fairy troll looked over at them and smiled, waving. Roxy waved back, saying, "Yeah, troll Maid! She totally came and helped us put down that seabitch. It was fucking awesome, Janey! Like, pant-crapping scary but awesome at the same time. Anyway, magical fairy girl is called-"_

_"Aradia," Gamzee's voice caused Jane to twitch as her gaze darted back to him, "That lil' wing-bright fairy is Aradia. She's...alright, I suppose. Not like the rest of that lot," He ended his sentence with a sharp snap of his jaws. Jane slid her hand further up his chest and started patting his jaw. He blinked before grunting slightly, his eyelids lowering while his hand resuming its stroking of her hair._

_"Uh, glad she has your approval," Roxy said, obviously confused before she took a breath, "The others aren't happy, especially the other trolls, and keep on wanting to start shit with your clowny boyfriend. Dirk's telling them fuck off though-"_

_Before Roxy could finish a weird deep thrumming rolled through the air and everyone frozen. Jane looked around, confused then grimacing as the humming increased in intensity, causing her head to start throbbing again even as massive cracks began to light up the sky then a horrible yawning_ emptiness _enveloped them all_.

_And everything changed._

Jane hurt. The hole where her ear had been was throbbing painfully. She risked using some of her Life ability to clot the blood there, enough that she wouldn't become woozy but the blood remained sticky and wet along her neck and shoulder from the wound.

But Abutor hadn't stopped there. He sliced open the bare skin of her back, between the line of her bra and underwear, carefully carving out a thin slab of her skin while she swore and spat at him. Like her ear, she was forced to stop the bleeding and only that, not willing to exhaust herself just yet. So she ground her teeth and ignored the horrendous stinging sensation along her back.

He peeled off her thumbnails and laughed as she cried out. He cut off one of the fingers on her left hand and poked her in the cheek with it as she moaned in pain. 

He struck her whenever she ignored his jeering inquiries and pestering until she finally responded to him.

Through it all Jane tried to rationalize her suffering, tried to remind herself of why she needed to remain strong but in the end it didn't matter; Abutor didn't care if she didn't scream and he simply found her resistance amusing. And when it came down to it, Jane's silence didn't matter. She'd signed up for this position when she left with Roxy on that mission; she knew the risks and she had instantly sacrificed herself to the merciless clowns instead of Roxy and she knew full-well what they would do to her.

She even entertained the idea of tearing an arm free but she knew that was fanciful thinking; she wouldn't, and couldn't, escape on her own and all she could do now was endure.

So instead of trying to raging against it, she forced herself to accept it. However that didn't mean she was simply going to hang there and not fight back if the opportunity arose.

She managed to bite him when he made the mistake of letting his hand stray too close to Jane's face; she instantly twisted and sank her teeth into the tough flesh on his hand, clamping down hard along the skin of his thumb as strongly as she could. Jane managed to snap one of the bones in it before he pressed something on the wall which caused the tile she was standing on to heat up. After it melted the flesh of the bottom of her feet she finally screamed, forcing her to release his hand even as the troll laughed.

Shaking and shuddering, she fully healed the injuries. From her experiences as a doctor she knew burns were some of the most painful and lasting injuries someone could receive and healing them quickly was key. So she forced her exhausted Life abilities to the melted flesh of her feet and wrapping them in a brilliant blue. She couldn't help the sob of relief that escaped her throat as the horrible burning pain vanished and her skin, muscle and tendons in her feet were whole once again. 

Abutor meanwhile, simply snapped his finger back in place and looked incredibly fascinated; he knelt down and poked another button on the control panel on the wall; the restraint on her left ankle suddenly tugged her leg up, raising it a few inches off the white tile. He inspected the now unblemished skin of her foot and even ran a claw down the skin, causing her growl.

He drew back, standing upright and with a tap on the panel her foot was forced back to its original location even as Abutor smiled, "So _that's_ what you did during your fight with the darling Priestormentors! I had gotten accounts from them all about your healing abilities!" she flinched away as he waggled a clawed finger in her face, far away enough she couldn't bite him, as he continued, "Don't think I haven't noticed you healing little wounds here and there, dearie; a fascinating ability indeed. I haven't observed it in any other humans and even among our species it's incredibly rare to have such a power."

"Can't your Condesce do it?" Jane said spitefully, body slick with cold sweat, "Considering _what_ she is." She knew the reference would go over Abutor's scalpel-shaped horns and she wasn't disappointed.

The troll hummed and tapped a sharp tooth with a talon as he said, "Well, she does have the ability to extend life as she so fits; her favourites were notably blessed, including that unworthy _thing_ she keeps in her ship. However she cannot heal injuries unlike yourself, sweets. Gratia swore they stabbed you through the bloodpusher at least once during your fight with those three and I know for a fact you humans die from such an injury."

"I can hardly recall my brief brawl with that lot," Jane lied, "I was trying awfully hard not to die."

"And you did a spectacular job with it, darling, even if you did manage to kill the Observer through it all."

Jane couldn't help the spiteful grin that crossed her sore, bloody face at that, "That we did; our little stint on your ship really showed how incompetent the Empire-"

She fell silent as Abutor struck her harshly across her face. She licked her freshly bloodied lips and glared at him through the rapidly swelling flesh of her right eye. He just shot her a sly wink and smirk, "Now, stop being so feisty for one moment; you should be proud of having such abilities! Being able to heal killing blows is quite a feat. You were able to resurrect yourself, weren't you?"

 _Wrong,_ Jane thought. She hadn't been resurrecting herself; she was still alive throughout the fight, she was just able to heal life-threatening injuries before they killed her, such as the hole through the heart which she managed to heal near instantly. If they had pinned her down and torn her head off it might have been a different story, however she wasn't inclined to share that information with the sadistic dreadlocked clown before her.

"Hmph, well don't tell me," Abutor said with mock offensive, holding up a hand to his chest, claws resting over a bloody hand print of a deep blue, "It also hasn't escaped our notice quite a few of your close...allies, share fascinating traits we haven't seen in any other member of your population; true teleportation, intangibility- you sneaky little mammals, using those to your advantage like that! -and even the ability to create glowing bombs and impenetrable shields out of nothing. Is that why you're the rulers of your race? Since you aren't governed by blood and all."

With a grunt Jane titled her head back and glared at Abutor as coldly as she could, spitting out, "No, and I have no interest in describing our non-barbaric chain of command to the likes of _you._ " She punctuated the end of her sentence by spitting at his feet. She was disappointed he was far away enough she couldn't try spitting on his face again. 

Abutor didn't seem to care, instead lamenting, "It is a crying shame, sweets. I haven't had many humans- at least not that many high rank ones -and those that do tend to break so badly; not used to aliens I assume. But look at you, glaring and spitting away! So defiant. It is such a nice change from those terrified little darlings I am used to dealing with from this planet." 

Jane snarled, pulling back her cut lips to bare her bloodied teeth at the troll.

Abutor just smiled serenely at her, cross-shaped facepaint creasing.

"I'm sure you're...that you're so devastated about that tiny little fact," Jane eventually ground out.

Abutor just hummed softly as he walked towards the tray of medical tools; some bloodied and some clean. Jane refused to look at the other tray, that now had her ear, finger and slab of skin from her back on it. His claws clacked against the cold steel before he left out a brief "Ah hah!" before holding aloft a short instrument; it reminded Jane bizarrely of an ice cream scoop, short handle to fit in the palm of a hand with a curved half-spherical end, the edges razor sharp. 

"You want to know something else, darling?" the troll asked as he pivoted back towards Jane, his dreadlocks swinging neatly behind him. He gave her a faux sweet smile even as his eyes gleamed like cold chips of purple as he casually strode towards her, small instrument in hand.

"Can I say no?" Jane muttered, struggling to speak clearly with her swollen jaw.

"You do want to know? How wonderful!" He halted in front of her, leering at her badly bruised face, "Many folks always say that the gander bulbs are the boiled-sand planes into the soul. And...well, I've been very fond of that phrase; gander bulbs are such beautiful things are they not? And beings without eyes are just so... _unnerving_." 

"Isn't...isn't one of your priest blind?"

Abutor seemed surprised, from her remembering the blind Priest she fought or not Jane wasn't sure, before he responded in a thoughtful tone, "Hmm, true, Occhio does indeed lack any kind of gander bulb. He's been like that since hatching. Yet I have no doubt you found him disturbing during your....little alteration, no?"

Jane didn't respond. Everything hurt and her body was shaking and sweating violently as if she had a fever. She was tempted to try ignoring Abutor again but she knew he would just hurt her to gain the Maid's attention so she ground her teeth as she forced herself to glare at him through her bloodied bangs.

Smiling Abutor leaned closer, close enough Jane could see the tiny purple-coloured veins at the very edge of his yellow scleras, "But as I saw saying, gander bulbs have always been seen as ways to see the real you. Frankly, I don't put much stock on such things, dearie, since it's far easier to simply pry into their skulls with our delightful psychics but they are still so very pretty, are they not? Such wonderful colours you can get!"

The troll rocked back on his heels, studying the scoop-like instrument in one hand while the other played with one of his long dreadlocks like a coy teenager, "I have a collection, you know, in my respiteblock; it's the largest collection of gander bulbs in the entire Empire. I'm quite proud of it. I keep them in air-tight jars filled with preservation slime so they can swim and kept their wonderful colours! Well, the rare ones of course; I have jars completely filled of the common bloods such as rust and yellow. Wonderful gander bulbs psisonics have- Such a solid, vibrant hue. I've spend some time before dissecting the gander bulbs, wondering how those savages can see."

"Sounds just absolutely dandy," Jane spat out.

"It is indeed! I keep individual jars for the rarest ones I've harvested over the sweeps; I even have a set of fuchsia, since our darling, beautiful Empress has graciously donated her dead Heiresses to the Church over the sweeps. However many trolls have abilities that can result in fascinating gander bulb designs and I've got a habit of collecting these from any 'bad featherbeast spawn'. Just seems a waste to them rot along with their owners worthless bodies within our Carnivals."

The Maid didn't respond; her mouth ached, the partially healed skin where her ear had been was still throbbing, her back felt as if it was covered in hundreds of bee stings. The stump of her finger was itchy and swollen while the muscles along her shoulders were burning with strain from her position. She was too tired and hurt. She wanted to be back home, not in this hellish surgery room. 

Abutor didn't seem too fazed by her complete lack of interest, instead carrying on happily, "So I keep them safe! I've harvested many from guests here with me, sweets; some with symbols with their iris, multi-shade gander bulbs, unnatural patterns like croakbeast pupils, one with split pupils and even one with seven, a ringed bulb that was able to induce combustion through glares akin to dragons upon our home planet. They all belong to me now; safe and secure in their jars so their beauty can be admired for ever more. Now you should listen closer, for _this_ -" while saying that he quickly reached out and seized a fistful of Jane's hair, pulling strongly to force her head upwards slightly as she hissed in pain through clenched teeth, "-is quite relevant to you, darling."

He leaned closer, dagger teeth bared in a mocking smile, "You humans have such beautiful gander bulbs; I admit it as jarring at first, seeing those sickly whites but they made the rest of you bulbs just _pop_ , don't they?"

Jane glared in response, her right eye nearly swollen shut from his previous slappings while her left one narrowed in a glare at the malicious troll. His claws were digging painfully into her scalp; if she was rested she could break free of his iron grip but she was helpless in her current injured state and they both knew it. 

With a soft sigh Abutor raised his other hand, glancing at the odd ice cream scoop-like instrument as he remarked, "And your gander bulbs are such a beautiful blue, my lovelie. So bight and clear; our bloodblues typically have darker shades and those colbalts...bah, as near disgusting as those teals they look down upon."

He grinned and held the instrument up closer to her face, claws sinking deeper into her scalp and drawing blood as Jane instinctively tried to flinch away, "And you are the little human Empress, no? It would be such a shame to miss out on such a beautiful bulb and from such a high-ranked alien! Not too many are able to keep toe-to-toe with us, darling, much less sass the Condesce and fight three of our Priestormentors at once. You should be proud, sweetness."

The Maid's breathing began to stutter and she frantically wracked her mind for anyway out; there was none but she couldn't help but spit out, "I also fought your Grand Highblood."

The clown paused it that, chewing on his lower lip and to Jane's relief the nasty weapon stayed in place, "True, I did learn of your scuffle with him, of how you managed to wound him. Scant scratches for one such as himself, but you still fought him and lived. That is quite an achievement for a human; as far as I know you're the only one to attack him alone and not be killed. You should be proud, sweets."

She just bared her teeth; she wasn't proud of that fight at all. She could've killed Gamzee and vice versa without even knowing who they really were. She wasn't proud that she'd injured him, that she'd attempted to kill him even if, logically, she knew there was no way she could've know it was him. It didn't lessen her guilt over hurting him, however unintentional and misguided it had been.

Abutor waited a few more moments as if he was expecting her to respond to him, before he gave a shrug, the multi-coloured bloody hand prints along his shoulders shifting, "So you don't consider it an achievement, hmm? You really should be proud; even fellow trolls are hard pressed to survive being attacking by him. He's certainly quite a sight in battle, isn't he?"

Jane still didn't respond and Abutor tightened his grip in her hair causing her to grimace as pain began to radiate through her skull, "So you're not in a chatty mood anymore; perfectly understandable, darling. This has been quite an extensive appointment, I admit. But you're such a lovely little thing, with such beautiful blue gander bulbs; so bright and vibrant. Would be a shame to leave the session without a little trophy, wouldn't it?"

Jane couldn't help a small whimper of fear that escaped her as the horrible instrument moved closer to her unprotected face; a small part of her mind was trying to sooth her, babbling _You can live without an eye, it's totally fine, you can live without it, just stay calm, you can live without an eye_. Jane's muscles began to lock up and she instinctively shut her eyes.

"Oh don't worry, sweets, I'll only take one of your gander bulbs; be a shame to leave you completely blind," Abutor's musical voice enveloped her and she could feel his cold breath puff against the over-heated skin of her forehead.

Her nails dug into her cut-up palms, causing the stump of one finger to burn anew and she seized up as she felt the razor-sharp edge of the instrument press gently into the delicate skin of her left eyelid, slicing into the flesh and causing thin stinging cuts. She gave a grunt and tried to pull away but Abutor's iron grip on her hair kept her firmly in place.

She felt the instrument sink effortlessly through her shut eyelid and start pressing against against the curve of the jelly-filled orb of her eye, with hot blood starting to run down her face-

Then the double doors went crashing open and Gamzee's massive bulk stormed into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> Also look, omg- procrastinationpossum.tumblr.com/post/105322187540/another-wip-not-gonna-lie-tried-to-do-a-building


	15. Deja Vu

  
epigeneticsBarometer [EB] has added cantankerousGuanine [CG] to their Chum list!  
  
cantankerousGuanine [CG]  has begun trolling epigeneticsBarometer [EB]  
  
CG: LET ME LAY D9WN S9ME GR9UND W9RK HERE, Y9U INQUISITIVE LITTLE 6LUEBL99DED SHITSTICK.  
CG: I HAVE N9 IDEA H9W IN THE FUCK Y9U MANAGED T9 GET PAST THE TEN FUCKING ZILLI9N 9R S9 FIREWALLS CAPT9R PUT UP IN A FIT 9F PARAN9IA THAT MEANS MY HANDLE AND TH9SE 9F MY 'FRIENDS' IS DAMN NEAR IMP9SSI6LE F9R ANY 9F Y9U N99KSLURPING EMPIRE HUMPING LAP6EASTS T9 L9CATE, MUCH LESS PUT IT 9N Y9UR S9-CALLED SHITTY 'CHUM' LIST. GREAT SENSE 9F HUM9UR THERE, ASSH9LE. #RUDE AND N9T FUCKING FUNNY ACTUALLY. #ALS9 LEAVE MY FRIENDS AL9NE.  
CG: CAPT9R HAS L9CKED D9WN 9UR HANDLES T9 THE FUCKING P9INT THE BEST CRACKERS IN THE DAMN EMPIRE C9ULDN'T EVEN FIND 9UT 9UR FUCKING QUIRKS, MUCH LESS 9UR HANDLES YET Y9U C9ME STRUTTING IN HERE LIKE S9ME STUCK-UP SEADWELLER H99KER AND PL9NK Y9UR ASS D9WN IN THE MIDDLE 9F 9UR MEETINGS AND SAY 'HEY Y9U FUCKS, LET'S 6E 6R9S, CAN I HAVE Y9UR ADDRESS T9 ALL THE 69LTHOLES Y9U HAVE F9R Y9UR SECRET CLU6 MEETINGS S9 I CAN GET MY EMPIRE 6UDDIES T9 C9ME FUCK Y9U 9VER?'   
CG: I D9N'T GIVE A SHIT IF Y9U ARE READY T9 J9IN MY 6AND 9F MERRY TR9LLS, BUT Y9U SURE AS ***SHIT*** WENT A69UT IT IN THE M9ST FUCKED UP WAY P9SSIBLE. #UNDERHANDED H99F6EASTSHIT IS WHAT IT IS.  
CG: BY WHICH I MEAN FUCKING STEALING THEM AND HAVING THE P9TENTIAL T9 RANS9M THEM 6ACK T9 US LIKE A TIGHTASS 6LUEBL99D 9R 6LACKMAIL US WITH THE P9TENTIAL F9R EMPIRE FUNTIME RETRI6UTI9N 6ECAUSE I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE THE WATER6ITCH W9ULD 6E 'REELY' INTERESTED IN GETTING 9UR HANDLES T9 RUMMAGE THR9UGH 9UR L9GS WITH HER GR9TTY 6LING-C9ATED 6ITCHNAILS AND GL9AT AT US AFTER STRINGING US UP LIKE 9VERD9NE 9INKBEASTS. #MURDER9US FISH6ITCH.  
CG: S9 LET ME ASK A QUESTI9N EVEN THINKPAN FRIED WRIGGLERS SH9ULD KN9W T9 ASK 6ULGELICKERS WH9 6REAK INT9 THEIR SHIT F9R N9 FUCKING REAS9N, SHALL WE?   
CG: WH9 THE *****FUCK***** ARE Y9U?   
CG: I WILL GIVE Y9U 9NE CHANCE T9 C9ME FUCKING CLEAN A69UT WH9 Y9U ARE AND WHAT Y9U WANT. #TH9UGH I D9U6T I'LL FUCKING CARE.  
CG: MAY6E IF I FIND Y9UR *96VI9USLY* IMP9RTANT REAS9NING ACCEPTA6LE I'LL ST9P C9NSIDERING KILLING Y9UR N9SY 6L99D6LUE ASS 9NCE WE FINALLY TRACK Y9U D9WN. #6ECAUSE WE *WILL* FIND Y9U. #D9N'T Y9U W9RRY A69UT THAT.  
CG: AND IF N9T, I'LL FUCKING HUNT Y9UR SHITHIVE MAGG9TS THINKPAN D9WN **MYSELF** AS IF YOU WERE A W99L6EAST.  
CG: I D9N'T CARE IF Y9U'RE IN THE ASS END 9F N9WHERE 9R HIDING UNDERNEATH THE C9NDESCE'S FUCKING HAIR, I WILL FIND Y9U AND RAM MY SCYTHE UP Y9UR FUCKING N99K S9 FAR Y9U W9ULD BE PUKING UP 6LADE P9LISH F9R THE REST 9F Y9UR SHITTY EXISTENCE UNLESS I DECIDE T9 6E MERCIFUL IN KILLING Y9UR DISRESPECTFUL ASS.  
CG: Y9U FUCKING PIECE 9F SHIT.  
EB: hi karkat!   
CG: WHAT.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note on the handles- pretty much everyone switched their handles quite a few times over the years (but kept the acronyms.) Jane just kept her gutsyGumshoe handle for so long because she was worried if she changed it Gamzee wouldn't know it was her.
> 
> Epigenetics- study of changes in gene expression (kinda ties into the weird ecto-this-person-yet-not-thing)
> 
> Barometer- Windy thing. :B
> 
> Karkles- cantankerous obviously, while guanine is one of the four main molecules in DNA.
> 
> Also omg look artz- http://procrastinationpossum.tumblr.com/post/106980694035/sketched-out-these-bums-because-still-no-word-on  
> Because cute non-eye-goring Janezee is the best Janezee. <3


	16. I wanna hold your hand

Without pause Abutor pulled the instrument from Jane's eye, nearly severing the upper lid as he eased it away from her. Jane let out a pained hiss, too distracted by the eye-goring she just narrowly escaped to focus on the newcomer.

Sucking in a shaky breath Jane healed the slice in her eyelid and the gash in the white of her eye, risking the use of her weakened Life abilities. The relief as the stinging pain vanished was lost amid the great aches of her body and her vision was still blurred by hot blood as she squinted across the room, before a low, almost wounded, whine escaped her bruised throat as she fully understood it really _was_ Gamzee standing there.

Her breath stuttered in her lungs as she hung there, with blood dipping down her face and her heart fluttering in her chest like a panicked humming bird. She wanted to call out to him but the more rational part of her mind strangled that idea at the root; she couldn't reveal she knew Gamzee personally in front of the Doctorturer who would not doubt use the information against her. So instead the Maid forced herself to watch Gamzee quietly as he slammed the doors shut behind him before he strode towards Abutor.

Gamzee didn't even bother to look her as he walked instead focusing all of his attention on Abutor. Said clown who had promptly put down his bloodied instrument and trotted over to greet Gamzee midway, tone friendly despite the Grand Highblood's unexpected interruption.

Next to Gamzee Abutor was almost comically small; the tips of his scalpel-shaped horns barely even reach Gamzee's wide shoulders and he was thin and wiry compared to Gamzee's massive, muscle-laden bulk.

But Jane wouldn't feel at ease until the sadistic alien was dead and buried in a six-foot deep grave somewhere and unfortunately it looked like Gamzee was more interested in speaking to the Doctorturer than killing him, despite her initial hopes. The Capricorn's deep voice was almost overly loud in the small room, at complete odds with Abutor's light musical tone as the two started conversing.

Unlike Dirk and Roxy Jane wasn't fluent in Alternian- even if those two lacked the appropriate vocal cords to successfully mimic it -and thus the entire conversation between the two Subjugglators went completely over her head. It didn't help Gamzee wouldn't even look at her as he conversed with Abutor in the clicking, rough dialect of the trolls, so she didn't even know if he recognized her at the moment.

So instead she just hung there, studying him through the curtain of her bloodied bangs. He looked a lot better than she was, which wasn't particularly saying much. The injuries she'd inflicted on him during their fight a few days ago had all been healed and he looked none the worst for wear. The jagged, skull-like facepaint of the Grand Highblood was also freshly applied, clean and neat, stark white against his black skin. Even so Jane could still see the raised lines of the ever-present three scars on his face underneath the paint.

He was wearing a different outfit to what he had been wearing during their fight in the square. Rather than just basic black pants and tattered, blood-splattered shirt he was clad in mock armour; the curling symbol of Capricorn took up the entire left side of his shirt with the right patterned with numerous horizontal lines the same purple shade as his blood. His shoulders were clad in two thick pads stamped with a clown smiley, one grinning and one frowning. Bracers were cinched about his muscled forearms, decorated with two long bones. Likewise his purple belt was covered in little paintings of bones, stark white against the black and purples. His pants were more basic, pitch black with rough circles decorated over the rough fabric. Like before he was barefoot.

 _At least he's safe..._

Jane wanted to sob; from relief or pain she wasn't quite sure. But she forced back her tears, a painful lump in her throat, as she watched the two trolls continue to converse as if she wasn't even present. Abutor seemed completely at ease, as if he hadn't spent the last few hours groping and torturing her, rocking back and forth on his heels as he chattered to Gamzee. 

Suddenly Gamzee's tone turned harsh and biting and he snapped out something while fixing the other clown with a murderous glare, lips pulled back to show long teeth. Abutor however just made an amused noise in response to the much larger troll's sudden anger, seemingly unfazed by the Grand Highblood's fury. Instead the Doctorturer playfully swatted Gamzee's arm and said something in a teasing tone of voice before he flounced out of the room, dreadlocks swinging behind him as he left.

Leaving Jane and Gamzee completely alone.

Once again Jane suddenly had an almost overwhelming urge to burst into tears- either from relief at seeing Gamzee _alone_ or being able to keep her eye she was unsure -but she forced herself to gulp in a deep breath, chest heaving as she struggled to calm herself down. Going into hysterics wouldn't help, even as a few traitorous tears slipped from her eyes and slid down bruised and bloodied cheeks.

Shifting slightly, she looked over at Gamzee who was ignoring her tears and seemed to be staring at her chest, expression carefully blank.

"Gamzee," her voice was barely a hoarse whisper. Jane grimaced and swallowed, trying to wet her suddenly dry throat.

The massive clown, however, kept his attention solely focused on her front. She couldn't help but tense when he abruptly moved closer, reaching out a massive hand towards her; she had a suddenly terrified thought that he was going to assault her like Abutor previously did.

Jane flinched at Gamzee's touch; his sharp claws and cold skin were too similar to Abutor's. But unlike Abutor's groping, Gamzee's fingers were feather-light as he carefully ran his talons along her skin until they found the curling symbol of her necklace.

Relaxing slightly she tried to smile, wincing slightly as the cuts on her lips stung, "I thought that was your symbol. Rose told me trolls wore their symbols on their chests and you always wore that gnarlish outfit with this face on it, so I assumed..." Jane's voice trailed off as it became apparent Gamzee wasn't listening to her. Instead all his attention was focused on the small pendant, rotating it between his claws.

His knuckles were cold against the over-heated skin of her collarbone and she couldn't help but try to lean into his touch as much as she was able. Eventually he stopped touching the necklace and his broad hand pulled away from her, causing Jane to let out a soft whine of protest. 

Slowly Gamzee leaned down, having to hunch over to get near eye level with her. For a brief, mad moment Jane was utterly convinced he was going to kiss her- and quite frankly she would've welcomed it at this point -but instead he bypassed her face and sniffed at her hair, his cold exhales ruffling the strands and causing her to shiver.

 _What is he doing...?_ Jane's thoughts felt sluggish and slow. Probably from the torture and exhaustion but she was still unsure just what Gamzee was doing. Maybe he was smelling her to make sure it really was her? Her thoughts derailed again as Gamzee snuffled at her temple, nosing at her bloodied fringe and smearing a line of white pain across her forehead.

She was about to ask what he was doing when Gamzee suddenly pulled away from her. Confused, Jane blearily tried to focus on him only for him to promptly turn on his heel and stalk away from her. Panic clawed at her as she thought he was about to leave her there but instead he just shuffled off to the opposite corner of the room. His foot claws clacked on the white tiles as he paced back and forth, shaking his head with his dark lips curled.

Brow furrowed, Jane watched as Gamzee moved aimlessly across the room. From her current position she could only see his broad back before he moved to the side slightly. Then she could see the side of his jaw moving up and down, almost as if he were muttering to himself.

 _Gamzee, what are you doing?_ Jane thought to herself, concerned and confused. She was about to call out to him again when he suddenly pivoted on his heel so quickly she jerked slightly in surprise. She winced as the movement caused the skinned flesh on her back to ache anew before her attention was caught by Gamzee's stare. 

He was looking right at her, his sclera's a bloody crimson and looking almost demonic against his jagged white paint. However what really baffled her was the utterly closed off expression he wore. It was disturbing and worrying for the Maid. It was almost like he didn't recognize her. 

Jane, thinking he was going to speak or perhaps touch her again, remained quite and still. However the minutes dragged on and she began to get frustrated, all her aches and pains intensifying as he continued to stare at her.

"Gamzee? Are you alright?" Jane eventually spoke, uneasy. She wanted him to do _something_ , darnit, not just stare at her as if she were a stranger.

That must have been the wrong thing to do, however, for Gamzee shifted even further away from her. His expression shifted from blank to an expression akin to a cornered animal. The deep breaths suddenly quickened and Jane worriedly shifted in her restraints.

Getting desperate she tried to talk to him again, "Please, Gamzee. It's me, Jane. You remember me, don't you? We were together, back during the Game. And you recognized me during our fight just days ago. Please, you have to remember me." _Remember me and save me from this hellish place._

However instead of spurring him into action like she hoped Jane was dismayed to find her words just seemed to upset Gamzee even further. He recoiled slightly before snarling something under his breath. Muttering in undertone he took a step forward before abruptly stopping and seizing his thick hair in his hands, tugging on it. Yanking hard on his hair he clenched his eyes shut and said something in Alternian, the hissing clicks scratching at Jane's ears. The words sounded almost...questioning? But they didn't seem directed at her.

 _Who is he talking to?_ Jane thought, distressed as Gamzee continued to snarl to himself, _What's wrong with him?_

A stray memory of Rose talking about something called 'Highblood psychosis' drifted through her mind but Jane angrily shoved it aside. Now wasn't the time to ponder about Gamzee's mental state; now was the time to make him recognize her again.

A low _honk_ instantly grabbed her attention and Jane frowned; Gamzee had thankfully stopped talking to...whoever it was and had stopped yanking on his hair but now his expression was confused, lost. 

His gaze flicked over to her before he flinched back as if stung, a odd, lowing grumble echoing from his chest. Long ears were curled down, mimicking the unhappy set of his mouth.

Jane knew from his fidgety posture and the way his indigo eyes kept flicking towards the door he was close to bolting and Jane had no doubt if he left she would be alone with just Abutor's sadist company for a good long while. She wasn't fool enough to think her family would be able to save her quickly enough to spare her more pain; the trolls had seen to that and Jane had knowingly sealed her fate.

 _Darnit, he's going to leave, he's going to leave,_ panic shoved her pain and aches to the backseat; clearly trying to talk with him wasn't going to work, not with him stubbornly stonewalling her or behaving as if she were a complete stranger.

Suddenly she could hear Rose's voice crystal clear in her mind, the Seer's soothing voice stating _"It was strange; even with our motley crew they either preferred to be on their own or would remain distant and standoffish with one another. They certainly wouldn't simply 'chill' in the same room with one another. Kanaya, though she got along quite well with Karkat, never tried to seek him out unless she had a reason. It's as if unless there is a pressing need, non-quadranted trolls just felt no inclination to interact or help one another. Aid was either in a crisis or something reserved for their quadrants. It seemed so...lonely."_

As if to emphasis this, Jane's mind flicked back to the reports upon the dismissive and volatile nature of the trolls towards non-quadrant trolls throughout the war on Earth, then to Gamzee's behaviour following the death of the Condesce within the Game, with his aggressive and defensive behaviour towards her while she was incapacitated. And even his more recent attitude, in the square and in the torture room. He reacted to her in pain; he reacted to her _hurt._

 _Make him care,_ the words hissed through her mind like an insidious snake as Jane glanced up at her bound wrists, still held firmly above her head by the strange, intangible force. Her stomach clenched as she critically studied her hands, focusing mainly on the left which already had a severed finger with the stump still itching terribly.

Her body started to shake with adrenaline and apprehension, flushing hot as Jane made up her mind.

_Time to go to Plan X._

She clenched her jaw as she inhaled deeply through her nose; now or never.

Jane focused all her remaining strength into her left arm and, with one powerful yank, she forced her arm down as hard and quickly as she could.

With a horrendous, wet tearing noise she successfully tore her entire left hand off, freeing her left arm of its restraint.

For a brief, frozen moment Jane felt no pain from her arm while everything was in horrific clarity; from the aches in her bruised face to the strain in her ankles to the terrible feeling of _nothingness_ that began at her left wrist.

Then the pain struck her.

Jane screamed once and rendered herself hoarse from the force of her cry. Her shriek tore her throat as agony engulfed her body, radiating from the severed stump of her arm. Hot blood spurted from the wound, splattering the white tiles in thick rivulets of crimson as Jane nearly blacked out from the pain.

Instead through sheer force of will she remained conscious, strangled noises of agony escaping her torn throat as she convulsed violently in place. So blinded by her pain she was unaware as the force holding her ankles and remaining hand in place vanished and she instantly collapsed. 

Before she could strike the bloodied floor strong arms snatched her up; the feeling of thickly muscled limbs encasing her were lost amidst the overwhelming sensation of agony. Blood continued to spurt from the severed stump, spraying Gamzee's chest and covering his symbol in red.

Moaning incoherently Jane struggled to fight through her pain and the blackness entrenching her vision; shuddering violently she forced the meager scraps of her Life energy to her ruined arm, mainly focused with stopping the bleeding.

The Maid sobbed lowly as she struggled to focus on her task, glazed eyes fixed blindly on the jagged stump of flesh and exposed bone at the end of her arm even as rough hair brushed against her naked skin as she got hefted up against Gamzee's blood-splattered chest.

She was so focused on her task she missed the wet squelch of her severed hand colliding wetly on the tiles, fingers still twitching.

She was so focused on stopping the blood pulsing from her wound she missed when Gamzee carried her from the torture room, the Maid cradled gently in his arms. 

She was so focused on carefully sealing up the torn flesh she missed Abutor's cheery voice greet Gamzee and the Grand Highblood's answering snarl as he strode past.

It was only when Jane's heart began to skip that she forced herself to realize she was getting dangerously close to killing herself through overexertion of her Life abilities. She hummed, eyes sliding shut. Gamzee's rhythmic steps were oddly soothing. She had no idea where he was taking her but at this point she didn't care as long as it wasn't back to that horrid white room. The blue glow around her severed stump flickered erratically as she struggled to fix the torn flesh.

 _I suppose it will do for now..._ her thoughts were slurred and slow and Jane's body was becoming cold and numb. A small part of her mind knew it was largely due to blood loss and shock and she forced herself to release her Life abilities before she inadvertently killed herself.

She struggled to raise her left arm up closer to her face, to inspect the still throbbing wound- though she'd managed to stop the worst of the bleeding and now everything just felt muted and dull -but just succeeded in hitting Gamzee's broad chest with her elbow. She felt more than heard him saying something, the deep rumble vibrating through her smaller frame but she couldn't make out the words. Oh well.

 _He picked me up,_ Jane mused, a drunken smile crossing her bloodied face as she pressed her face against his chest, _I knew he cared._

Still smiling Jane finally succumbed into unconsciousness as she was carried away in the Grand Highblood's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamz new look- swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/107306468083/trying-to-figure-out-how-ghb-gamzee-looks-like-in
> 
> Also Abutor was under the impression Gamzee was gonna eat/rape/kill Jane and also assumed he was the one who ripped Jane's hand off, which is why he let Gamzee take her without a fuss. Figured he's gonna kill her anyway. (Also Gamz technically outranks him)


	17. Itsy-8itsy spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I heard some of you guys wanted a Sgrub troll chapter! Jane shouldn't have taught clowns nursery rhymes. :3 Also the timeline on this isn't present day.

_It was dark._  
  
_It was always dark now._

_Dark and silent._ _Constant and oppressive._  
  
_It wasn't always like that; when they first caught her they hurt her in the more primal sense. She screamed until she choked on her own blue blood but still she refused to bow._  
  
_She just mocked them and jeered, fought back as best she could until they finally pried into her mind, in the deepest part and found out her greatest fear. After that they seemly wrapped her mind up in a black blanket and promptly left her alone, blind in all manner of the word._  
  
_Even so, she occasionally could sense them, the brief brush of their minds against hers, laughing at her as she fumbled about the darkness._  
  
_For how long? Sweeps, maybe. But then, this was an attack on her mind; for all she knew it had been scant hours but to her it was sweeps. Sweeps alone in the dark._  
  
_Luckily, her Light powers meant she could still see herself. But that was all. She could see her arms, her legs, every part of her body. But her surroundings were utter darkness._  
  
_She'd tried walking, hoping to come across one of her wayward memories, find an anchor. She didn't want to admit it but the oppressive, uncaring silence was beginning to crack her._  
  
_After wandering in the pitch black she eventually started trying to go back through her memories; or at least saying them aloud since her mind was muffled. Aloud? So she wouldn't feel so alone, walking in the dark, blind and trapped. She was more like saying in her mind, but her mind was broken. Disjointed. She couldn't function. They peeled her open and destroyed her then stuffed her into darkness. Everything was wrong_  
  
Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck.   
  
_She couldn't function. She had no idea who she was anymore. There was too many._  
  
_It was bad enough when the Game spat them out and her mind was suddenly too crowed, too full and she had no idea who she really was anymore._  
  
_There were too many. But enough of herself and likeness of herself for her to forge herself again. Make herself into someone who would not being shunted off to the side or treated as some stupid wiggler playing dress up. Even while doing something, being the instrumental part of everything, who made the demon Jack Noir and who would've killed him if it weren't for La-Ter- Pyrope. The Mind player. Killed her and she was forced to start all over again. But now she was so much more, so had so much more experience and yet again more knowledge of being treated as an off-cut. Of someone just to humour and never take serious. Either a boorish dramatic or temper tantrum wiggler. She was treated as such._  
  
Again.   
  
_She was powerful; few could withstand her mental prowess and much less her abilities to warp even the slightest luck to her gain. Death-dealing blows would glance aside at the final moment. Guns would jam, blades would snap, arrows would only graze. She could survive injuries and even heal them with her Luck. She was powerful and she would not be ignored, not again._  
  
_True, she couldn't wield her Game abilities to the extent Megido could._  
  
Aradia? Witch, she's a Witch, killer. Killed me. Her. Because of her. Inscruta8le agenda.   
  
_Megido could wield Time. But it was enough and none in her age group could stand against her. So instead she waited for greater gains, when Conscription came. Lying in wait she went through the motions of being sorted by the Drones while they were taken off world until the time was ripe and she struck. She left with her own ship and began to carve out a corner of space for herself, just like she always deserved._  
  
Liar.   
  
_The cobalt made no attempt to hide her pride after all, she certainly earned gloating and she relished the acknowledgments and fear of others whenever she strode into a room, especially from fellow Highbloods. The Lowbloods weren't much sport to terrorize; they were always the same whimpering woolbeasts that she always knew they were. Always they would let themselves fall to the bottom rung, no matter what universe. Let themselves be shacked up as pets for her kind to play lusus with or let themselves be enslaved and devoured by everyone else. So weak and pathetic. Always._  
  
_Even when she was alive-_  
  
Dead?    
  
_She did the same. Controlled the ghosts of those so weak willed, became a captain of her own little rag-tag fleet, a peer to an Heiress, found the weapon, provided all the information for everything- no, I/she/we did -so she was always there. Even while barely over twelve-six-billions sweeps old she achieved so much. She deserved to be there and people should take note. They needed to notice her, for it was what she deserved and wanted. Recognition._  
  
_And she would do anything to force the Empire to acknowledged her as a threat, beyond what even her Ancestor-_  
  
Me.   
  
_-had achieved._  
  
_But that just made it so easy for the clowns to deal with her._  
  
_Even when the one with scalpel-shaped horns had her strung up, when he slowly gored her seven-pupil gander bulb from its socket, she had been able to fight. She jeered and screamed, even when her gander bulb was methodically scooped out of her skull, even when the clown cooed at her and licked at the blood spitting from the now open and empty socket she still snarled and spat._  
  
_Even when she was thrown into one of the cages, gander bulb gone and blood all over her face, she remained defiant._  
  
_Until he showed up and broke her._

 _Ripped off her left arm._  
  
_Peeled open her mind._  
  
_Methodically extracted both parts, both of her and destroyed their links so they were gone._  
  
_She was then lost and confused, unable to tell who she was and it was oh so easy for them to find out her greatest fear_  
  
Irrelevant and alone.   
  
_and to then simply sit back and watch her suffer._  
  
_In hindsight her plan which let to her capture was utterly stupid and she was ashamed beyond reason for falling into yet another trap by her pride. It had happened before and she kept doing it over and over and over, like a stupid wiggler. Last time it happened it was resolved._  
  
A sword through the 8ack, we88ed hand gripping my/her/your protein chute in an iron grip, choking on her/mine own 8lood face-first on the floor, screaming, reek of 8urnt flesh then nothing and she was dead. Her. Me. Again???????? How many times...   
  
_This time, like the last, she was alone when she was caught. What was she doing there? It had been something important_  
  
No, it wasn't.   
  
_But she was caught._  
  
_All because she'd bitten off more than she could chew and didn't bother to access any threat to her success._  
  
_She had always thought to emulate her Ancestor, the pirate Mindfang. She had been disappointed beyond reason when she left Alternia after Conscription only to find out her Ancestor has simply been labeled as a footnote, not even a paragraph dedicated to the Marquise. Even when she'd toiled through the Rebellion history with the Summoner there had been no mention of Mindfang, nor the fact he ever had a matesprit. If anything her death had been listed before the Summoner became a true threat, rendering the cobalt pirate completely irrelevant in the larger scheme of things. She had been enraged and disappointed in equal measures._  
  
_But that had reinforced her idea she'd stop trying to be Mindfang-_  
  
Even my altern8 universe self got to lead an amazing life. Which is all well and good for HER........   
  
_-and started carving out her own name and reputation among the Empire._  
  
_It turned out doing that on your own was far harder than she initially thought. She refused to aid her old companions in their ridiculous rebellion idea, declaring them irrelevant and leaving. She didn't want a 'new' Empire, she would embrace the bloody, death-soaked current one, especially when Pexies made it extremely clear she wouldn't speak with the cobalt ever again if that was the path she picked._  
  
_So she left, ignoring the pain in her chest especially when Pexies ordered her to go. The Tyrian had always confused her when they returned from the Game; she had so many mixed emotions towards the seadweller but her pride wouldn't allow her to unbend, to swallow her pride and ask that question. If Pexies wanted her to leave, then fine._  
  
_Only once did she try and prod at that mess that was her old friends after leaving the world; nearly dying again at the hands of an irate Megido after the cobalt's first interaction with Nitram nipped that in the bud and she didn't bother speaking to them again. They weren't worth her, she decided. They condemned her enough both before the Game and during it; they could run off and die during their lopbeast-thinkpanned scheme if they wanted to. She didn't care._  
  
Liar Liar.   
  
_Of course, that left her alone but she refused to let that slow her down. She honed her physical skills and fighting, staying to dice and bladekind. She found her own ship- or at least killed a crew and stole a ship she found acceptable - and she rounded up a crew, mostly of Lowbloods she deemed appropriate and kept them under control. Sweeps-_  
  
 So long, time has 8een stripped of the meaning it never really had in the first place.   
  
_\- of honing her skills made controlling the weak minded as easy as stepping on a scuttlebeast._  
  
_Over the sweeps in space however, her paranoia grew from numerous assassination and poison attempts in different ports until she was constantly controlling her crew; she couldn't risk them turning against her. So she kept them under tight control, expressions always blank as she exerted her mental prowess on them every single minute. They wouldn't, couldn't, betray her if they had no thoughts of their own._  
  
_It was lonely but she didn't need 'friends'. Not when all her original 'friends' would do is ignore her, not appreciate her, or kill her at the first chance they got. Fuck them._  
  
_But she made a grave error which led to her downfall; she assumed the only threat she would suffer would be from a fellow Game player. And they all made it abundantly clear they wanted nothing to do with her. That they would ignore her if she stayed well away from them, and she was only too happy to oblige._  
  
_So she decided to set her sights on the Empire; not to overthrow but to mock and jeer._  
  
_She made a show of hunting down dangerous trolls, typically the Highbloods of the Empire and killing them or meddling with them or their activities; she wouldn't bow to the Empress, just like her Ancestor._  
  
I have 8een doing my 8est to honor her legacy for most of my life.   
  
_She would show the Empire she refused to be shackled down or fear-mongered into submission like a damn cowering Lowblood._  
  
_In truth, the warning signs of her downfall where all there; her name had spread and Lowbloods and Highbloods alike regarded her with fear, distrust and disgust whenever she arrived. She refused to let such irrelevant opinions affect her - or so she told herself - and amused herself with controlling them or killing them whenever the situation arose and shipping their heads back to their quadrant mates._  
  
_However as she began to scour through the more powerful ranks she began to get rebuked, attacked and even defeated; only luck allowed her to escape in these situations with her life and limbs in tack._  
  
Yes, and I've got all of it. I am completely untoucha8le.   
  
_Until the fucking clowns._  
  
_Trapped in the overriding oppressive dark she cursed herself once again for playing with that particular brand of insane fire; there was a reason even the dreaded Threshecutioners dared not provoke the purple caste and it wasn't just because of the Empress' blatant favoritism for the Church._  
  
_It's because they were completely fucked up even by troll standards and she marched right in there and got caught and now she'd never escape._  
  
_Like all her other failures it had been due to pride._  
  
_She should have trusted the small voice which told her to flee the instant she stepped foot into one of their Carnivals. But she was fed up with the voices, she spent sweeps finally gaining control of her mind again and she wouldn't let blind instinct rule her._  
  
_So she went in, with her horde of docile mindcontrolled Lowbloods in tow just to prove a damn point._  
  
_Her alteration with the Church had been born from spite and mockery; she had already taken on every common bloodcaste at this point barring a selective few. She'd even had a vicious scuffle with a Rainbow Drinker, the mysterious Contessa, in one of the space stations after the cobalt inadvertently ensnared one of the Jadeblood's companions, intending to use him as another one of her puppet crew. Enraged, the Rainbow Drinker attacked, her undead mind too slippery and old to her to get a proper hold of and thus they fought viciously until the cobalt managed to disengage and flee with three broken ribs and a cracked horn._

Stoker of the Forge. 

_But even after hopping a universe away she felt felt tallow fury rushing through her veins; the utterly bemused 'who?' the Rainbow Drinker had uttered when the cerulean had introduced herself._

_Even after spending sweeps talking the Empire and galaxies even a glorified parasite had no idea who she was. It was a bitter pill to swallow and she vowed never to become irrelevant, which is something that seemed to be happening regardless. So after a long session brooding in her cabin she came to a conclusion; clearly she wasn't making enough of an impression._

_She'd been wasting her time on small fry if a damn space parasite had no idea who she was._

_She refused to be shoved back into a space of irrelevance._

_So she spent a few hours pacing her cabin and scouring through her husktop, racking her thinkpan for a way to make her even more noticed, revered._

Remem8er how I've 8een trying to make that 8e a thing l8tely? 

_Clearly going up to the Battleship Condescension and getting in a brawl with the Condesce was out of the question; enraged as she was she wasn't stupid enough to go against the Empress. Besides, killing the Condesce would ruin everything and just cause the Vast Glub._

_And the Threshecutioners were, likewise, too close to the Condesce for her to risk it._

_So instead she went for the next best thing, something that killing would gain attention and would spread through the Empire like dragonfire._

_A supposed lowly cobalt, challenging one of the infamous clowns and easily slaying them in battle._

_That, of all things, would no doubt garner attention and acknowledgement so without pause she mindcontrolled the helmsman within her vessel to change course, steering towards the nearest Carnival. She would take out a pound of flesh for such an insult as dismissal. She wasn't some stupid wiggler to be ignored or looked down upon. She was even more fearsome and powerful than her Ancestor and she would make sure everyone knew it._

There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good.

_In hindsight it was so painfully obvious that was a trap and the cerulean fell right into it._

_A test to see if the cobalt would fall for such a simple, wigglerish tactic and she fell for it hook line and sinker._

_All it took was a few jeering words and jabs at the pride and she let arrogance blind her common sense._

__Again _._

_That act of wounded pride lead her to stalk into one of the lesser Carnivals and attempting to kill one of the clowns._  
  
_Of course, it wasn't that easy._  
  
_She was Lucky but the clowns gave no fucks about that and their madness and zealot faith made them ignore it all._  
  
_At least she had the sense of mind not to attack one of the Main Carnivals; she would've been dead.So instead she targeted one of the lesser Carnivals. While she was enraged she still had a few strands of common sense clinging to her even as her pride urged her to seek one of the purple caste out and kill them._

_After all, even the highest of Violetbloods weren't exempt from being killed by one of the clowns. So slaying one would be a magnificent trophy for her._

_Obviously it wasn't that simple._

_Of course it wasn't. Even before none of her attempts ever worked the way she wanted to. Instead she wound up killing people who just couldn't understand she knew what the fuck she was doing so get out of the way so she was forced into extreme measures. But who cared about that?  
_

8ang 8ang 8ang. Are you happy? 

_This time, however, they couldn't blame her._

_They._

_In the dark she clenched her remaining hand into her tangled hair, straining to remember, the silence all encompassing and muffling her mind. Who were they? They. Oh, yes. Them. Her backstabbing, no good 'friends.'_

Ungr8ful friends. 

_Vantas. Megido. Nitram. Captor. Leijon. Maryam. Pyrope. Zahhak. Mak-_

_No, he wasn't a friend._

He is o8viously such a sweet and harmless fellow.

_But that was, again, the fatal error she made with her mad dash to the Carnival; the clowns were a pack and all she had were her mindcontrolled little drones. Useful obviously, and they would never betray her. But against the clowns?_

_She knew how dangerous the clowns were. Even within the Dreambubbles she had been unable to control Kurloz, the indigo's mind too wily and elusive for her to grasp. At the time she'd been too distracted to understand what it meant, too focused on her mission even when she was able to control Cr- Ampora without much effort. But the Mime? No._

8ut something a8out him ru8s me the wrong way.

_Even with Gamzee his mind needed to be gripped in an iron-hold; one lapse of judgment and the irate clown would slip free, which wound up having disastrous consequences._

_But now after the Game that all changed._

_She never realized how badly outclassed she was until she was caught and he was the one to finally snap her mind in half._

_Stumbling around the dark she tripped and fell over, hitting the black floor without fanfare. She should just lie there and wallow in her failures._

_Instead she shifted until she was sitting, blood still leaking from her empty left gander bulb socket. Even in her mind she lost her eye, the blue blood always oozing down her face and dripping onto her tattered clothes. They took her eye, her arm and then her mind. Fucking clowns._

_She would wager Pyrope would laugh herself sick if she could see her now. She truly was the Marquise._

_But her capture._

_Ever since leaving Alternia she'd keep her distance; the horror and wariness towards the clowns was something even seadwellers- barring the Condesce -exhibited. But she had forced away her fear; she was able to mindcontrol, or at least knock unconscious, even Violetbloods on a good night which saved her skin on more than one occasion. It wouldn't be that difficult to slay one and they were a much tougher game; their weird faith causing them to band together and their reportedly terrifying Carnivals where anyone other than a clown was killed if they dared step foot inside._

A lot of harmless superstition. 

_Or so she told herself. After merging together, she hungered for knowledge and read everything she could about everything including the Church; most of it was scraps and rumours, the Priestormentors not sharing the inner tenants of their faith with any other caste, but after a while she concluded those lunatics worshiped Lord English as one of the Messiahs. It disturbed her profoundly when she found it out; how much did they know? How could they even know of such a creature? Even though it explained a lot of their Subjugglator's behaviour throughout the Game and beyond.  
_

Some tenet of the mirthful doctrine.

_After that discovery she grew even more paranoid. After all, if the clowns knew about such things, whose to say no one else in the Empire did? That was when she took all control of her crew. She wouldn't be blindsided. Never again._

_So she steered her ship, mind made up and fury running through her veins and making her lightheaded. She'd never backed down from a dare and getting one from a Mar- Rainbow Drinker, who didn't even have a rank, was something she would not tolerate._

_Of course, everything fell apart and she paid dearly for her presumption. Was still paying for it, trapped in this silent dark place. For how long now?_

_But back to the origins; finding a Carnival wasn't that hard. The clowns, fatalistic as they were, made utterly no secret of where they erected their Circuses since only the incredibly foolish or incredibly brave would dare enter them._

_Of course she assumed they were no threat, much less one of the lesser Carnivals. Kill a clown and prove to everyone, even a stuck-up Jade, she was not someone to be trifled with._

_Give her the recognition she deserved._

_Turns out she Lucked out the instant she stepped foot on the blood-splattered soil of one of the Carnivals_ , _her sweeps of avoiding the Empire's squads and death-dealing injuries and traps were finally catching up to her and like the last times her Luck ran out she got dealt with severely._

Flip the fucking coin, neophyte. Oh shit.   
  
_As soon as she stepped upon the blood-splattered soil she felt a feeling of utter foreboding and an almost overwhelming urge to flee. She ignored it.  
_

_She began to stalk around the Carnival, blood dirtying the soles of her boots while carefully making her way towards the center of the Carnival._

_There, she found hundreds of low and midbloods strung up in a circle, hanging upside down with their throats and wrists slit with the blood spilling down into the massive vats they were suspended over._

_As used as she was towards gore she could help but gag slightly._

_Fucking clowns._

_As she carefully skirted about the Bleeder vats, ignoring the pit-patter of dripping blood as well as the fact some of the trolls hung over them still showed flickers of life, their minds dull and dying._  
  
_She ignored it._  
  
Like 8efore. 

_It was hilarious, in a bitter shameful way, that the one who kicked her ass and got her taken into Subjugglator custody wasn't even a damn clown. Oh, he wore that freakish white facepaint and idiotic fashion sense like one but when it came down to it he was a trumped up Blueblood who was just nutty enough for those crazy clowns to accept into their ranks, the supposed Inventorrorist Lovett Eureka.  
_

_She vaguely knew of him; he created that weird game show where quadranted Lowbloods were made to fight to the death in epic battles. Admittedly she saw the appeal for such a show and watched it on a regular basis but when the Blueblood came prancing out of the shadows all she felt was disgust._

_So, she would have to slay a fake-Subjugglator before she got to a real one? Very well._

 Since I am also going to 8e the one to kill him.  

_She had a brief moment to relish_ _the expression of dumbfounded surprise on the Blueblood's face before it stretched into a near manic grin._

_Typical; all clowns had those too-wide smiles._

_But she wasn't there to debate the merits of smiles, instead she was going to hack his head off and ship it to the Empress. That would get the seabitch's attention._

_So she returned the Blueblood's grin with one of her own before reaching out with her powers, aiming to ensnare his thoughts._  
  
_The instant she tried to seize his mind she knew something was terribly wrong; she couldn't sense it. She could feel the general Light of his mind but couldn't sense his emotions or thoughts and any attempt at gaining control of her mind failed, as if his mind was intangible to her._

 Is that really so 8ad? 

_Eureka just laughed, a horrible cackling laugh that reminded her of Pyrope and suddenly bounded across the ground towards her. She bared her teeth and swung her sword up to meet his cane when she felt something slice into her mind like an icy dagger and she stumbled, struggling to keep her control on her Lowbloods._

_The sharp tip of his cane nicked open her side before she managed to knock aside his weapon and then one of the High Priestormentors- Morbus, she acknowledged -suddenly flashstepped up onto the lip of one of the vats flanked by a dozen more members of the Church and it was all she could do to survive._

_Oh, she fought them, even severely injured a few; using her powers she controlled her Lowbloods to attack, their psionics and telekinetic abilities lashing at the clowns, searing skins and denting horns.  
_

_But just as she was proficient at controlling Lowbloods, the Subjugglators weren't known as the enforcers of the lower castes for nothing; they were used to the abilities of Lowbloods and could deftly dodge or resist the powers of her little horde.  
_

_However trying to fight off the flurry of blows from Eureka and the Priestormentor, as well as the chucklevoodoo's tearing at her mind her control over her Lowblood's began to slip; several died underneath the clubs and claws of the clowns and she took a brutal hit from Eureka, the blow cracking one of her horns.  
_

_Quickly she flashstepped to the side, seeking to disengage from the two head clowns who were the greatest threats. However they didn't even hesitate before following after her, leaving the Lowblood's for the other clowns to deal with, whom went to the task with gusto._

_She'd done the same mistake that she'd done the last times she died; severely underestimated her opponents._

_Her powers weren't intended to be weapons; they were for empathy and understanding. She just managed to find a more useful way to wield her powers. But against the Subjugglator's she might as well had started throwing rocks at them; as she parried and blocked the inventerrorist and Priestormentor the 'voodoo's tore at her mind, insidious fingers sinking into the cracks in her abilities and slowly prying them apart._

_Morbus meanwhile skidded to a halt and retched, vomiting a thick stream of purple venom which burned through her coattails and blistered the skin of her legs. She made the mistake of flinching and over-extended her reach; without hesitation the Priestormentor seized her wrist and bodily hurled her into one of the Bleeder vast. She struck it with a sickening crack, leaving a large dent in the thick metal and dazing her._

_Her control over the Lowblood's vanished, every one of them displaying confusion and horror at suddenly being in a Carnival surrounded by clowns with no recollection off going there._

_Shit, well she would have to fight without that useless bunch._

_She had no more time to ponder that, as a cane went sinking into her abdomen and making her shriek. Angrily she struck Eureka in the face with the pommel of her sword, breaking his nose and then flung herself to the side to avoid getting her head clubbed open by the Priestormentor.  
_

_But now she was trapped, robbed of her Lowblood's powers. Most were fleeing the Carnival, which caused the rest of the clowns to turn their attention to her fight._

_And when it came down to it, just like last times she failed her Luck finally ran out._

That is one of my powers. 8eing super lucky, and making my foes super UNlucky. ::::) 

_In a desperate attempt, she tried to roll her Fluorite Octet; ever since the Game she'd been able to keep her Ancestral Awakening constantly activated, her blue sword easily able to find any flaw in her enemy's armour and her own clothing stopping fatal attacks._

_In hindsight it was foolishness beyond measure; by having her final mode activated, she'd robbed herself of any chance of blindsiding her opponents due to having her cards all laid on the table at all times.  
_

_She just assumed no one barring a fellow Game player could match her and acted accordingly._

_However before her dice could stop rolling one of the Subjugglator's set four of the dice on fire using the flamethrowers attached to her wrists. The other four landed on perfect eights and caused one of the other clowns to fall asleep, smashing headlong into the ground mid-step._

_However it still left her vastly out numbered._

Doesn't mean you have to 8e 8itter a8out it. 

_She managed to fend them off for a few minutes, a vicious scuffle that gave her more injuries and broken bones. However she managed to attack them back just as much, even lopping off the horn of one of the clowns who made the mistake of getting too close._

_But in the end all she could do was stay alive and against some of the most proficient killers in the Empire that in itself was a hard-won battle._

_Then she took a club to the chest and she stumbled and skidded backwards in a puddle of blood and a pair of teeth fixed themselves onto her hand and bit off four of her fingers, making her drop her sword._

_She took three killing blows in the blink of a gander bulb and she knew no more._

 As one gifted with the aspect of light, certain outcomes will 8e prone to 8r8king in my favor. 

_Ironically enough, her Luck prevented her from dying from the injuries._

_In hindsight it might have been better for her to die on the floor of the Carnival._

_But regardless she awoke when that crazy little Doctorturer was methodically extracting seven-pupil gander bulb, the pain waking her up from unconsciousness._

_Enraged, she attempted to use her mind control- she was fairly sure she could control at least one clown. However she was dismayed when nothing worked, she couldn't sense anything apart from the agony radiating from her eye socket. Even when she previously lost her eye and arm at least it had been over quick and then blood loss made everything numb. This time, however, she could see the horrible metal biting through her eyelid and severing the nerves of her eye as the Doctorturer slowly pulled her gander bulb from its socket._

_The clown laughed in her face at her efforts, telling her she was successfully collared with telekinetic dampeners but her eye was just so delightful it would be a shame if he didn't take it for his collection, wouldn't it?_

_So she was forced to hang there while this vicious little clown gored out her eye, informing her of how she'd been a 'naughty little darling' and Eureka and Morbus recommended she spend some quality time in the Church to get all her issues sorted out, and wasn't that just lovely.  
_

_She told him where he could shove that opinion and he just laughed and finished carving her gander bulb out, popping it into a jar. He held it up to her remaining eye, saying he'd take good care of it for her._

_Her only response was to spit at him._

_He just smiled._

We died out a wounded race, and you are all that's left. 

_Eventually she was dumped into one of the cells inside one of the Subjugglator's main Carnivals, the stumps of her bitten fingers and gored eye socket aching and leaking cerulean blood onto the cold iron of the floor._

_First she attempted to get the psychic dampeners off her horns; unfortunately these were the top-notch heavy duty shit the Overseer helped Eureka create to control even the most powerful of Lowbloods and the odd unruly Highblood psychic. No matter how much she pried and clawed she couldn't extract the cuffs around the base of her horns._

_She briefly entertained the idea of tearing off her horns but that could incapacitate her and make her even more useless in a fight._

In a perfect reality, no one would have to get hurt. 8ut the stakes are too high to 8e shying away from such measures. 

_She searched every crevice of the cell, trying to see if she could exploit any weakness and escape; after all, managing to bamboozle the Subjugglators would be an act worthy of praise._

_In fact, being able to fight off a Priestormentor and live to tell the tale was a worthy deed in on itself. That is, if she managed to escape from this ridiculous place.  
_

_But no, she searched the cell and it was just an average rectangle of steel walls and floor with a load gaper in one corner and no windows. One side of the cells was just a giant glowing, translucent blue barrier. She could just make out the short corridor before they led to huge double doors that led to the rest of the building but other than that the room bare._

_She tried breaching the barrier and got viciously electrocuted for her troubles. That wasn't an option then._

_She even tried breaking open the load gaper to see if she could rip anything useful out of it._

_Despite all her clawing, kicking and prying she couldn't tear any part of it off._

_She was well and truly trapped._

_Belatedly she cursed the fact her stupid little pack of useless Lowbloods had all fled, ignoring the fact she'd essentially enslaved them to her. Their psychics could probably do something helpful. But no, they ran off at the first chance they got.  
_

_Whatever, they could be eaten by fucking clowns for all she cared, those ungrateful little bastards._

 I know this consequence will 8e hard for you to accept. 

_They left her to squirm for a few days in that cell to the point she was bored enough to doodle with her blood on the walls. Damn clowns. Even down in the bowels of the cells she could still here faint echoing honks and screams from their Carnivals. The blood leaking from her missing eye and fingers finally stopped, even if her gut wound and burnt shins still pained her whenever she moved.  
_

_Oh, if only the Marquise could see her now._

Irons are heating up as we speak! 

_On the third day he finally showed up with his clown underlings in tow._

_One moment she was scratching her symbol onto the wall with a claw the next he was standing right in front of her cell, the three High Priestormentors flanking him like a clown honour guard.  
_

_For a few moments she didn't even recognize him; why should she? The last time she'd seen him had been scant hours before Conscription. On impulse she'd gone to see him, making her way down the sandy beach to his run-down hive to find him sitting on the steps leading up to his smashed in door.  
_

_She'd kept her distance; through snooping she knew Megido and Peixes had gone to him a few days before and tried to convince him to come with them. However he refused, though they had parted ways far more amicably than the apparent disastrous encounter between Vantas and Maryam when they attempted to speak to him._

_When she had seen him all those sweeps again she'd initially thought he was a corpse sprawled against the steps he was so gaunt and filthy. However when she got close enough he finally stirred and she could see one of his eyes- tinted slightly purple -staring at her through the wild mess of his hair._

_He was taller than she remembered, even while sitting down and she was struck at how much he resembled Kurloz and she was suddenly hit with a vertigo of homesickness. Forcing it back, she smugly asked how life had been treating and was he still moping?_

_For a moment she thought he was going to attack her and instinctively stepped back but he just shifted in place with his lips curled slightly, showing yellowed, cracked fangs._

_Disgusting. And this was the troll who killed Terezi, who killed her? A fucking Godtier?_

_She said as much, which didn't even get a reaction out of him. Curious, she attempted to probe his mind with her abilities; the instant she made contact with his mind he retaliated with a blast of pure rage that physically knocked her back on her ass on the sand._

_She fled without a parting word._

  They let me access another's mind in a way that can 8e terri8ly invasive if a8used. 

_But beyond that, that had been the last time she ever saw Gamzee. A skinny, emaciated troll who looked just shy of keeling over dead from malnutrition. Add in the fact she knew he wasn't going to give any buckets to the Drones when they came knocking and she'd assumed he'd been culled during Conscription.  
_

_Now however he towered over her, standing at a staggering fourteen feet high, a full grown indigo adult troll. Gone was the starved form, replaced with a muscular structure that looked like he could easily rip her head off with one hand. His teeth were long and sharp, gleaming white against his dark glossy skin and the jagged pattern of his facepaint._

_She knew the Bloodied Authority had finally voted in a new Grand Highblood._

_She just didn't realize it'd been the stupid clown she'd known since wigglerhood._

 I suppose I shouldn’t 8e too concerned though. 

_Before she could really process everything, her one eye trapped in Gamzee's glare, one of the Priestormentors stepped through the blue barrier without a flinch and had struck her across the jaw with a massive bell-staff. The blow send her colliding with the steel wall and dazed her long enough for the clown to deftly remove the dampeners cinched around her horns._

_Before she could even think of retaliating all three of Priestormentor's suddenly seized her mind, the insidious tendrils of fear burrowing deep into her psyche and keeping her paralyzed in place._

_Then they began to hurt her, slowly and methodically._

_On an intellectual level she knew the pain wasn't real; Through her long hours of research_ _she knew chucklevoodoo's relied a lot on the victim's own fright and nightmares, all orchestrated by the Subjugglator wielding them._

_That didn't make it hurt any less when her horns suddenly grew long and twisted like tendrils and sliced her throat open, spilling thick blue blood down her front and she started to choke on it._

_Throughout all her travels within the Empire she'd never met a psychic who had been able to ensnare her within their mental web and she assumed no one ever could. Because of that she had not been prepared to feel the violation or agony of the mind._

_It was a bitter irony; now she understood what it had been like for all those troll's she'd enslaved with her mind; she finally understood why Nitram hated her so much._

_To feel utterly helpless in what should be her final refuge, her safe haven._

_But that thought had promptly been replaced by pain as suddenly she was six sweeps old and a familiar narrow cane sword went piercing through her spine and she collapsed on the floor and slowly drowned in her own blood. A laughing Meenah gutted her with her golden 2x3dent before ramming the weapon through her skull. The Condesce tore her face off with jagged fangs before hurling her body into a fire pit where she burned alive. Megido crushing every bone in her body with her telekinesis before goring her remaining eye out with her own torn-off horns then splitting her thickpan open._

_Through it all she would have brief bouts of lucidity and always her one-eyed stare would be trapped by Gamzee's, his indigo eyes boring into her and never saying anything as the Priestormentors seared at her mind with horrific precision.  
_

 At least he had the decency to sew his mouth shut. 

_Still, she clung to her mind grimly, even as time lost any kind of meaning, trapped as she was within her own mind._

_The Priestormentors were vicious and precise; her abilities had never been intended as weapons, the mind control an offshoot of her empathy psychics and it took long practice for her to be able to bend them to mind control for her purposes. Chucklevoodoo's, however, had always been intended to be weapons, the ability to drive trolls mad with terror, to feed their fright and emotional torment and the Priestormentors had spent thousands of sweeps honing their sadist skills and in the end all she could do was endure._

_Once she managed to escape; during a brief pause she seized one of the Priestormentor's and gutted her with her own spear, clawed the eyes out of the other and bolted through the barrier, ducking Gamzee's massive clubs as she ran._

_Her powers now freed the cerulean seized control of one of the clowns guarding the exit of her prison and broke free, sprinting down the bloodied corridors on torn feet. Too late she realized she was still trapped in the Priestormentors psychic web, the hallucination so vivid she was utterly convinced of its reality until the hallway before her shattered into a million pieces and suddenly she was a terrified wiggler again, standing on the slab of stone before her giant lusus._

_She barely had time to shriek before the massive spider snatched her up within razor-sharp pincers. Her flesh was punctured by lethal fangs and her panicked screaming for her mother to stop stop stop went unheeded.  
_

_Instead the venom paralyzed her quickly, rendering her limp and helpless within her mother's grip. Webbing was swiftly wrapped around her prone form even as terror blazed through her mind. Her lusus cradled the cobalt with her front legs, a facsimile of an embrace before fangs punctured her limp body again and her mother's venom slowly began to liquify her flesh and organs as she scream silently.  
_

_Then she was back in the cell, one eye missing and she fell back into her hellish mindscape._

_A part of her she vehemently denied that she wanted her friends to come and save her. A stupid, farfetched idea born from panic, pain and desperation._

_However she knew through the fruit tendril that Py- that Terezi had completely blown her cover as a rebel to break Zahhak out of Legislacerator custody when the Blueblood got himself arrested for Sympathizer actions and tied to be Re-Educated, so her hope wasn't that farfetched. Even if all those bridges had been burned and she'd been the one with the gasoline and match.  
_

_She deny it all she could, but she still wanted it to happen._

_She wanted help._

 If any of my friends knew that, they would think I'm weak. 

_Even if her terror caused her to hope against all logic for a rescue she still refused to break, clinging desperately to her eons of memories, of her early days of Flarping and creating her own costume, feeling wings fluttering against her back and being able to see through her vision eight fold once again, walking along the grassy slopes of her home planet with the sun warming her skin, building her small exposition stand, of running around her Land of Maps and Treasure and feeling the wind coil through her hair, her epic battle against Cetus, leading an army of ships........_

_She clung to the memories, burrowing underneath their weight in an attempt to hide from the clawing shadows of the Priestormentor's minds._

_Curled up and locked firmly in defensive mode she refused to bow down; if she couldn't kill them then she'd resist them for as long as she was able._

_For all the Priestormentor's strength they wouldn't be able to crack her. She was used to pain; she'd died three times already_ ; _bleed slowly to death, backstab and snapped neck then burned alive. They could hurt her as much as they wanted to. They wouldn't be able to break her that way._

 He never really appreci8ted how powerful I 8ecame. No8ody did! I am easily the strongest troll 8y far. 

_She tried to smile with bloodied and broken teeth. She'd been a god, for fucks sake._

_Cackling, she spat out some cobalt blood and staggered to her feet. Before she could blink Jack Noir suddenly appeared before her and beheaded her in one lightning move. Just as quickly she found herself back on the meteor before a narrow sword when through her chest, severing her spine. Then back to her land and bleeding slowly to death on her Quest Bed._

_She laughed and laughed, mocking them. Pain she was used to. Fine, do your best little clowns._

_As before, her arrogance was her undoing._

_They noticed her mockery and responded._

_She could sense bemusement and annoyance from the Priestormentors minds before they suddenly released hers, their chucklevoodoo's extracting themselves from her thinkpan like jagged knives._

_Bewildered she shuddered from her position half-keeled over on the floor, unsure if she was actually awake or trapped in another hallucination.  
_

_She tensed when she noticed the Priestormentors standing before her but to her surprise they backed out of the cell without preamble.  
_

_Confused the cerulean pressed herself back against the wall, teeth bared; she doubted they were just letting her go._

_Her doubt hardened into certainty when she realized they were just moving aside so Gamzee could step into the cell._

_She refused to show any fear, instead glaring back at the giant troll as he stalked towards her. Without pause he suddenly seized her left arm and she let out a hiss of pain as her bones ground together in his tight grip. Her hiss turned into a shriek when he yanked and twisted, tearing her arm right out of its socket in a spurt of cobalt blood and spike of agony.  
_

_He slammed her head back into the wall hard enough to dent the thick steel. Growling weakly she dug the claws of her remaining hand into his wrist; he ignored it, instead fixed her with a burning stare._

_Then he smiled at her mirthlessly as his eyes flicked indigo and another mind entered her battered one._

 

 

_She flinched; despite not hearing that voice for nigh four sweeps she knew the deep baritone was Gamzee._

_The fury twisting around with his thoughts was identical to the blast he'd leveled at her so long ago and just like her own mind his was infused with countless layers of experience and past lives and deaths. Such were the mind of Game players.  
_

_Unlike the Priestormentors Gamzee didn't have to worry about sloughing through her memories; his were just as complex as hers and his psychics utterly outclassed hers._

_She screamed as she was sucked back down into her mindscape, panicking at the sheer strength behind Gamzee's mind as it caught her own in a relentless grip._

 

_  
_

 

_Suddenly she fell into water and she realized she'd ended back up in her memories of her Game land, the water swirling around her waist._

_Gagging she felt him sink thick tendrils of thoughts along the ridges housing her mind, to the near unnoticeable stitching binding herself together with her other self. None of the Priestormentors would have noticed it; but Gamzee knew what she'd been through as he'd gone through it as well and he knew exactly where to strike._

_The wound of her severed arm and eye suddenly started crawling and she bit back a noise of disgust and horror as dozens of tiny spiders crawled out of the torn flesh even as the cracked sky above her forked with lightning and it started raining a thick torrent of multi-hued blood.  
_

 

_____  
_

 

_She had no idea what weird bit of slam-poetry he was reciting but the voice was loud and echoing; she grabbed at her hair with her remaining hand, feeling as if her thinkpan was about to burst even as the spiders crawled across her face and she felt him tugging, ripping at the seams between her mind.  
_

_Suddenly the water and rain turned into burning tar and she screamed as it seared through her flesh and started to suck her down below the earth. Panicked, she clawed at anything to try and aid her but the thickened tar began to drag her down into an unfathomable pit of nothingness._

 

_________  
_

 

_Too late she realized what he intended to do; he made utterly no effort to hide his thought processes from her and she realized he intended to suffocate her, isolate her, making her unnoticed and uncared by anyone or anything._

_He knew exactly was she was afraid of most and it wasn't pain._

_In a final desperate act she forced her thoughts together and wrapped her mind around his, aiming to seize control of his mind.  
_

_He was on his own, she'd done it before she was completely positive, it should've been easy._

_Instead she found no handles on his mind; the churning rage underneath it all burned her whenever she tried to seize a hold of his mind and he ignored any attempt she made at gaining control._

_Frustrated she clawed at his voice, the words echoing through her mind._

 

_____________  
_

 

_There! Underneath the words, the weird, almost alien-sounding sing-song she been tracking she suddenly managed to gain a hold of one of his memories._

_She got a brief glimpse of too-bright blue eyes and an almost overwhelming smell of pastry before the eyes turned into the searing glare of a dragon and she screamed as her remaining eye was burned from her skull and the tar finally sucked her down within the blackness and she lost her finger-hold on his mind._

 

_________________  
_

 

_Black black and more black. Panicked, she looked around for anything to help and spotted a horribly familiar symbol hovering within the darkness above her; the leering face of Rage and the tattered symbol of Light.  
_

_Angry and afraid she cursed him, spitting out his name as if it were the foulest word in Alternia and all she got in return was a honking laugh along with another line of that disturbing slam-poetry he was reciting._

_Then she felt him slowly tear her apart, separating her again into two different trolls, one of each, and she screamed as her thoughts grew muddled and disjointed. Who was she????????_

 

_______ _ _ _ _ ___________  
_  
_

 

_Slowly even the Rage symbol faded away and she knew with utter certainty she was going to be trapped here in this lonely dark for only the Horrorterror's knew how long and her mind was broken and confused. Who was she?  
_

_Retching she collapsed onto the black landscape, bile in her throat as she moaned as her mind became a storm of vertigo and confusion.  
_

 

_  
_

 

_With those final hissed words the overwhelming presence of his mind vanished and she was left alone in the darkness of nothing._

_Trapped inside her own head, Vriska screamed and screamed and screamed and no one cared enough to listen._


	18. Are you there God? It's me, John

  
CG: H9W  
CG: H9W D9 Y9U KN9W MY NAME?  
CG: I KN9W F9R A FACT THE EMPIRE STRUCK MY NAME 9UT 9F EVERY REC9RD AND HAD IT FUCKING 6LACKLISTED. ANY9NE WH9 EVEN JUST TRIES T9 FIGURE IT 9UT GETS CULLED, IMPRIS9NED 9R ENSLAVED. #HERESY. #REBELS. #9VERREACTI9NS.  
CG: S9 EVEN IF YOU DID FIND IT 9UT Y9U W9ULD 6E TRACKED D9WN AND KILLED 6EF9RE Y9U C9ULD EVEN C9NTACT ME.   
EB: well it's a good thing i found you first!  
EB: and what's with your writing?  
EB: i didn't think you used numbers instead of some letters  
EB: is it something you changed when you became an adult?  
CG: L99K THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYM9RE.  
CG: Y9U F9UND MY HANDLE, Y9U KN9W MY REAL NAME AND Y9U KNEW A69UT MY 9RIGINAL QUIRK WHICH I HAVEN'T USED F9R 9VER SIX SWEEPS WHICH WAS 6EF9RE I EVEN G9T 9FF ALTERNIA.  
CG: DID Y9U JUST MESSAGE ME T9 TAUNT US 6EF9RE WE'RE CAPTURED AND H9RRI6LY T9RTURED? MAY6E RU6 IT IN MY FACE AND P9INT H9W WHERE WE FUCKED UP?  
EB: what? no! that's not what i'm doing :(  
EB: believe me when i say i really am not a fucking friend of the empire  
EB: that horrible armada can die in flames and i hope me and my family can help bring that about!  
CG: S9 WHAT D9 Y9U WANT?  
CG: T9 J9IN UP 9N 9UR CRUSADE 9F RUNNING AR9UND LIKE HEADLESS QUACK6EASTS WHILE THE EMPIRE CHASES US T9 D9 S9ME HIDE9US SHIT T9 US 6EF9RE WE ARE FINALLY KILLED? #AND PR96A6LY EATEN. #9R C9RPSES DESECRATED. #FUCKING CL9WNS.  
CG: AND THIS ISN'T ME 6EING PARAN9ID, IT'S JUST A FACT 9F WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THE C9NDESCE LIKES T9 MAKE TWISTED GAMES 9F T9RMENTING TH9SE WH9 W9N'T ACCEPT HER FUCKED UP RULE DESPITE THE FACT SHE'S PR9VEN TIME AND AGAIN H9W MINDCRIPPLINGLY INC9MPETENT 9F A LEADER SHE IS. #REGARDLESS 9F UNIVERSES. #MEENAH IS A SHIT LEADER.  
EB: haha you still have no idea who i am do you?  
EB: it's kinda funny being on the other end- me knowing and you not knowing!  
CG: S9 WE HAVE MET 6EF9RE. WELL AND WELL.  
CG: WHERE Y9U THAT WEIRD9-ASS 6LUE6L99D WH9 ALWAYS W9RE THAT HELMET THAT I MET A FEW DAYS AG9? FIGURED Y9U'D WRITE AS FUCKING WEIRDLY AS Y9U L99KED.  
EB: i'm not a troll fucknuts.  
CG: 9H F9R THE L9VE 9F  
EB: i'll give you a hint!  
EB: ♠  
CG: WHAT  
CG: ARE Y9U MAKING A PASS AT ME?  
CG: 6ECAUSE THAT IS INCREDI6LY RUDE AND INAPPR9PRIATE, I'LL HAVE Y9U KN9W. #D9UCHE6AG  
EB: for fucks sake karkat!  
EB: as much as i'd love playing twenty questions with you and your familiar rage (though you seem less angry so hurray!) i'm kinda in a rush  
EB: so i'll explain from the start!  
EB: so like ten years ago everything went to shit, our worlds got destroyed, we played a game that fucked us over, we became gods, we met aliens who blamed us for everything (even though it wasn't our species fault) then some more shit happened and we got some other human players during a reboot, turns out a giant green leprechaun was gonna eat reality and we killed your troll empress who it turns out didn't even have the decency to stay dead (rude) and we managed to kill that giant green angry dude then everything reset and we did shit for ten years then everything went to hell in a hand basket and here we are!  
EB: do you know who i am now or do you need some more hints?  
CG: I  
CG: Y9U'RE  
CG:   
CG: J9HN?  
EB: hi karkat :)  
CG: H9LY SHIT THIS ISN'T  
CG: ####  
CG: H9W THE FUCK DID Y9U MANAGE T9 C9NTACT US? WE ALWAYS JUST...I D9N'T KN9W, WE ALWAYS JUST TH9UGHT Y9U GUYS HAD 6EEN M9VED 6ACK T9 Y9UR 9WN REALITY 9R S9METHING. IT WAS 6ETTER THAN THINKING Y9U GUYS WERE ALL DEAD, AT LEAST. #LESSER 9F THE DEPRESSIVE TH9UGHTS. #KANAYA IS G9NNA L9SE HER SHIT.  
EB: nope! we're all alive- me, jade, dave, rose, dirk, jake, jane and roxy! also my dad got brought back and so did the rest of our families!  
EB: well, i mean bec didn't but jade said that was because he was a first guardian, and since sburb doesn't exist he wasn't needed anymore. *shrugs*  
CG: HUH.  
CG: THAT CERTAINLY FITS WITH ARADIA'S THE9RY AS T9 WHY THE GREEN M99N WAS G9NE WHEN WE WERE PUT 6ACK 9N ALTERNIA- SAME WITH GL'6G9LY6 FUCKING VANISHING AS IF SHE WASN'T A PLANET SIZED SEA M9NSTER. #TELEP9RTATI9N 9F H9RR9RTERR9RS. #TIME W99L6EASTS.  
EB: glubby sixty nine?  
CG: THAT WAS FEFERI'S LUSUS. SHE USED T9 6E PSYCHICALLY PAIRED WITH WH9EVER WAS THE EMPRESS AT THE TIME AND SHE C9ULD RELEASE THE VAST GLUB WHICH W9ULD 9FF EVERY TR9LL ALIVE 6ARRING FUCHSIAS. THAT'S WHY ALL THE TR9LLS DIED WHEN WE ENTERED SGRU6 6ECAUSE THAT GIANT TENTACLE 6ITCH GAVE A DEATH SCREAM AND KILLED EVERYTHING 6EF9RE SHE CARKED IT. 6UT WHEN WE CAME 6ACK SHE JUST WASN'T THERE. NEITHER WAS THE GREEN M99N. #SCRATCH. #EXCELLENT H9ST.  
CG: THAT EVEN 6IT US IN THE ASS IN THE GAME, SINCE SHE W9UND UP PR9T9TYPED, ARADIA HAD T9 USE HER ARMY 9F D99MED SELVES T9 ST9P THE KING'S SCREAM FR9M KILLING US IN 9NE HIT. #GAMER PR96LEMS.  
CG: 6UT AS IT IS, SHE JUST VANISHED. IN FACT WE CHECKED ALL THE FILES, ALL THE SCH99LFEEDING- EVERYTHING AB9UT THE GREEN M99N AND GL'6G9LY9 JUST DIDN'T EXIST ANYM9RE AND N9 9THER TR9LL EVEN REMEM6ERED THEM APART FR9M THE TWELVE 9F US. IT'S LIKE THEY WERE WIPED RIGHT 9UT 9F HIST9RY, LIKE THEY NEVER EXISTED AT ALL. #6LACKLIST.  
EB: well at least that means sburb no longer exists! so...that's one tiny grain of good news.  
CG: G99D NEWS IS PRETTY FUCKING HARD T9 C9ME 6Y S9 I'LL TAKE ANY I CAN GET. #AS FUGITIVES 9F A CRAZY EMPIRE I KN9W.  
EB: is that why you gave up hiding behind grey as a fuck you to the fishbitch?  
CG: YEAH. FIGURED I MIGHT AS WELL RU6 IT RIGHT IN HER FACE A69UT H9W MUTATED I AM AND H9W SHE STILL HASN'T CAPTURED US. A 6IT 9F MUD THR9WING, 6UT WHATEVER.  
EB: us? how many trolls came back? i think only five of you lived to the end... that solar troll or whatever the fuck his name is was half dead i think.  
CG: WE ALL CAME 6ACK.  
CG: ALL 9F US.  
CG: #N9T DEAD YET. #EVEN THE L9NG, L9NG DEAD.  
EB: ...so what? the other dead old ones came back as ghosts or something?  
CG: N9.  
CG: THEY'RE HERE WITH US. #ALWAYS.  
EB: uh, so they're alive?  
CG: N9. #ALIVE 6UT N9T REALLY.  
EB: yeah...that totally makes loads of sense.  
EB: but anyway, you're certainly calmed down a lot. i can barely remember our logs- i just know you screamed and raged loads.  
CG: I'M N9T SIX SWEEPS 9LD ANYM9RE, J9HN. SCREAMING AND RAGING HAS ITS PLACE, 6UT JUST 6ELL9WING AT PE9PLE AND EXPECTING THEM TO TAKE 9RDERS MINDLESSLY IS STUPID AS SHIT AND I GREW UP AND LEARNED FR9M MY FAILURES. #A L9NG, L9NG FUCKING LIST 9F FAILURES.  
CG: SHIT, J9HN. H9W THE  
CG: I'M FREAKING 9UT 9VER HERE, I NEVER TH9UGHT I'D EVER SEEN Y9U GUYS AGAIN. WELL, TALK T9 Y9U GUYS AGAIN. IT KINDA G9T SWEPT AWAY WHAT WITH THE 'PSYCH9 EMPRESS' THING G9ING D9WN, N9W THAT FEFERI DIDN'T HAVE HER LUSUS T9 SCARE THE C9NDESCE 9FF. 6UT FUCK, Y9U'RE ALL ALIVE? ALL 9F Y9U?  
EB: we're alive at the moment.  
CG: Y9U S9UND A L9T LESS 9PTIMISTIC THEN I REMEMBER Y9U USED T9 6E. DIDN'T Y9U USED TO 6E THE 'FRIEND LEADER' 9R S9ME SHIT? #9LD TIMES.  
EB: you do know the alternian empire is laying siege on earth, right?  
CG: *WHAT*?!  
EB: ha, yeah guess you didn't, then.   
CG: H9W THE FUCK WAS I SUPP9SED T9 KN9W THAT?   
EB: i dunno! i guess i assumed you'd be keeping an eye on that stuff?  
CG: WHY W9ULD WE CARE A69UT WH9 THE EMPIRE WAS CURRENTLY ATTACKING? WHILE THEY'RE F9CUSED 9N THAT SHIT IT GIVES US A LITTLE 6REATHING R99M. #CRUEL 6UT TRUE.  
EB: wow :/  
EB: kinda forgot how completely shitty you guys are.  
CG: HEY, IT'S N9T LIKE WE ENJ9Y THIS ANYM9RE THAN Y9U D9! WE'RE C9NSTANTLY CHASED, HUNTED AND STALKED. WE'VE 6EEN 6ETRAYED, SPITED AND SQUEAK6EAST'D 9UT M9RE FUCKING TIMES THAN I CARE T9 RECALL. #TRAIT9RS. #LET THEM HANG.  
CG: S9 YES, RAND9M GALAXIES AND CIVILIZATI9NS HAVEN'T 6EEN 9UR HIGHEST PRI9RITY WHEN WE CAME 6ACK. FIRST WE WERE HALF THINKPAN FRIED 9UT 9F 9UR MINDS AND C9ULD HARDLY FUCKING FUNCTI9N WHEN WE CAME 6ACK THEN EVERYTHING HAD 6E CHANGED S9 WE WEREN'T EVEN SURE WE *WERE* IN THE RIGHT UNIVERSE! MUCH LESS 9NE THAT HAD Y9U L9T IN IT! #C9NTINUATI9N C9NFUSI9N, JACKASS.  
EB: forgive me if i assumed you stupid douchebags were actually going to, you know, DO something after sburb! but no, instead you apparently did nothing and just ran away and let that fishbitch empress run around and kill everyone all over again!  
EB: no wonder you guys fucked up your sessions so bad and then ruined ours!  
EB: and you couldn't even do anything right even after we won the game for you!  
CG: Y9U THINK WE D9N'T KN9W THAT?! Y9U REALLY THINK WE AREN'T AWARE THAT WE FAILED T9 KILL THE EMPRESS AND SHE WENT 9N HER MERRY, HAIR-FILLED WAY T9 MURDER, ENSLAVE AND SU6JUGATE ENTIRE CIVILIZATI9NS AND 6RUTALIZE THE REST 9F HER 9WN KIND? Y9U THINK I AM MAGICALLY FUCKING UNAWARE 9F THAT FACT?!  
EB: it seems to me you are! what with the 'durr those countless other species mine wiped out mean fuckall cause i suck' garbage you just said? how the fuck else am i supposed to take it?  
CG: I MEAN WE HAD T9 WAIT! EVEN AFTER THE DAMN GAME WE ALL KNEW FEFERI W9ULD'VE L9ST T9 THE C9NDESCE! IT WASN'T AN 9PINI9N, IT WAS A C9LD HARD FACT! TRADITI9N FUCKING DICTATES THAT THE HEIR DUEL WITH THE EMPRESS DURING C9NSCRIPTI9N. THAT THEY FIGHT T9 THE DEATH AND IF THE HEIRESS STRIKES HER D9WN SHE TAKES THE C9NDESCE'S THR9NE. 6UT THE P9INT IS, WE KNEW IF FEFERI STAYED AND CHALLENGED THAT CRAZY 6ITCH T9 A DUEL, SHE W9ULD'VE DIED 9N THAT 6EACH LIKE THE D9ZENS 9F HEIRESSES 6EF9RE HER.  
CG: IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KN9W, WHEN C9NSCRIPTI9N 9CCURS, **N9NE** 9F US ARE ADULTS. IN FACT, IT TAKES NEARLY AN9THER SWEEP 6EF9RE WE PUPATE AND G9 THR9UGH 9UR FINAL M9LT. #TR9LL 6I9LOGY. #6ASIC FUCKING SCH99LFEEDING.  
CG: TRADITI9N WAS DICTATING A DAMN WIGGLER FIGHT AN ADULT AND TRY T9 WIN THE ENSUING FIGHT. WE ALL KNEW FEFERI W9ULDN'T 6E A6LE T9 PULL IT 9FF.  
EB: oh come on, the condesce must've been a wiggler at one point, right? killed the other empress and nicked her shit?   
EB: so there was a chance this new heir fishy whatshername could've done it and saved everyone from that psycho bitch.   
CG: HER NAME IS FEFERI, ASSH9LE!  
EB: wow sheesh, godforbid i forget the name of some irrelevant alien i never met! godforbid i'm not in the mood to be all kind and sympathetic to you guys, since you fucked everything as usual!  
CG: W9ULD Y9U ST9P IT? WE ALREADY FEEL LIKE SHIT 9VER THIS! WE SPENT WEEKS TALKING T9 EACH 9THER A69UT WHAT WE WERE G9ING T9 D9 LEADING UP T9 C9NSCRIPTI9N! FEFERI WAS THE 9NE WH9 WANTED T9 FIGHT THE C9NDESCE. SHE WAS READY T9 MARCH D9WN T9 THAT 6EACH AND TRY HER FUCKING 6EST AT KICKING THAT MURDER9US 6ITCH'S ASS DESPITE KN9WING THERE WAS A MASSIVE CHANCE SHE'D WIND UP WITH A FUCKING TRIDENT RAMMED THR9UGH HER CHEST. AND D9 Y9U REALLY WANT T9 KN9W WHY SHE DIDN'T D9 THAT, J9HN?  
CG: 6ECAUSE I C9NVINCED HER N9T T9 D9 IT!   
EB: why'd you do that?!  
CG: 6ECAUSE HEIRESSES ARE *RARE*! UNLIKE EVERY SWEEPS WHERE Y9U GET 6URGUNDY, UM6ER, 9CHRE, 9LIVE, AQUA, AND C96ALTS C9MING FR9M THE DAMN AUDI9 DUCTS LIKE SCUTTLE6EASTS, AND EVEN THEN THE *RARER* 6L99D TYPES LIKE JADE, 6LUE, INDIG9 AND VI9LET ARE C9MM9N 9N ALTERNIA DURING EACH SPAWNING FR9M THE M9THER GRU6. #AT LEAST UNTIL THEY GET KILLED 9FF. #ANIMAL MAULING. #FLARPING. #TERRIT9RIAL SPATS. #HIGH6L99D PSYCH9SIS. #HEM9PECUTRUM ENF9RCEMENT.   
CG: IN C9NTRAST, AN9THER TYRIAN6L99D MAY SH9W UP 9NLY 9NCE A FEW TH9USAND SWEEPS. A BLINK 9F A GANDER 6UL6 F9R A FUCHSIA 6UT N9T F9R ANY 9THER CASTE. THAT'S WHY I C9NVINCED FEFERI T9 WAIT 6EF9RE CHALLENGING THE C9NDESCE. IF FEFERI DUELED THE EMPRESS AND L9ST, THEN IT W9ULD TAKE A HUNDRED L9W6L99D LIFETIMES BEF9RE AN9THER FUCHSIA WAS SPAWNED AND EVEN THEN THE PERCENTAGE 9F HER 6EING AS FUCKED UP AND PSYCH9 AS THE C9NDESCE IS RIDICUL9USLY HIGH. #HIGH6L99D RAGE.  
CG: S9 I C9NVINCED HER T9 WAIT.  
CG: I C9NVINCED HER T9 WAIT UNTIL SHE HAD G9NE THR9UGH HER ADULT M9LT AND ACTUALLY HAD A HIGH DAMN CHANCE 9F KILLING THE C9NDESCE, RATHER THAN FACING 9FF AGAINST THAT CRAZY 6ITCH AS A AD9LESCENT AND GETTING KILLED, THEN LEAVING US WITH9UT A DECENT HEIRESS F9R WH9 FUCKING KN9WS H9W L9NG.  
EB: so? who gives a shit about a duel?  
EB: if you just made the heir fight the empress couldn't you have just group attacked her? like helped your 'tyrian' friend and beat the shit out of the empress when you had the chance?  
EB: not these dumbass excuses about a duel!  
EB: god forbid i give no shits about some stupid alien tradition at the fucking moment.  
CG: 6ECAUSE WE ****CANN9T**** D9 THAT WITH9UT RUINING EVERYTHING!  
CG: Y9U THINK WE DIDN'T ENTERTAIN THAT TH9UGHT? DIDN'T Y9U EVER W9NDER WHY THE C9NDESCE HASN'T ALREADY HAD HER 69NY ASS ASSASSINATED YET?  
EB: figured you trolls were shit at subtle beyond 'mass invade and murder'  
CG: HA HA HA.  
CG: HERE, I SHALL SH9W Y9U H9W WILDLY ENTERTAINED I AM 6Y TYPING A HUM9UR9US SMILEY.  
CG: |:B  
EB: fuck you, karkat! stop trying to change the subject!  
CG: I'M N9T CHANGING THE SU6JECT. I'M TRYING T9 EXPLAIN THE REAS9N WHY THE WH9LE DAMN SUCCESSI9N 9F THE EMPIRE IS A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS AND WHY WE C9ULDN'T JUST KILL THE C9NDESCE WHEN SHE SH9WED UP 9N ALTERNIA TO FIGHT FEFERI. #F9R FUCKS SAKE. #TYRIAN RULES #EMPIRE INNER W9RKINGS.  
EB: really? and whats this amazing excuse?  
CG: 6ECAUSE IF ANY9NE 9THER THAN A FUCHSIA KILLS THE EMPRESS THE VAST GLU6 HAPPENS AND EVERY TR9LL DIES. #SUCCESSI9N.  
EB: how the fuck does that even work?  
CG: I'M STILL A BIT 6EMUSED BY ALL IT; 9NCE WE CAME 6ACK AND HAD 9UR RELATIVE 6EARINGS, FEFERI SPENT AGES P9URING 9VER EVERYTHING SHE C9ULD GET HER HANDS 9N, TRYING T9 FIGURE 9UT H9W THE P9WER 6ALANCED WAS TIPPED 6ECAUSE GL'6G9LY6 DIDN'T EXIST ANYM9RE. TRADITI9NALLY SHE HAD A PSYCHIC LINK WITH THE CURRENT EMPRESS; THE EMPRESS USED THE THREAT 9F THE VAST GLU6 T9 STARVE 9FF ANY P9TENTIAL REBELLI9NS 6ECAUSE SHE C9ULD DIRECT THE PSYCHIC SH9CKWAVE AT WHATEVER CASTE SHE CH9SE. IT'S HAPPENED QUITE A FEW TIMES, APPARENTLY. H9WEVER SINCE GL'6G9LY6 VANISHED WHEN WE CAME 6ACK, FEFERI SPENT AGES TRYING T9 FIGURE 9UT H9W THE C9NDESCE MANAGED T9 FEND 9FF P9TENTIAL ASSASSINATI9NS AND RE6ELLI9NS WITH9UT THAT SAFETY NET. EVENTUALLY IN HER DIGGING SHE LEARNED THAT THE P9WER 9F THE VAST GLU6 WAS N9 L9NGER HELD 6Y GL'6G9LY6, SINCE SHE NEVER EXISTED IN THIS NEW UNIVERSE, INSTEAD IT WAS A PSYCHIC A6ILITY FUCHSIAS GAINED WHEN THEY KILL THEIR PREDECESS9RS AND TAKE THE THR9NE. #KEEP WHAT Y9U KILL. #KILLER SCREAM.  
CG: SHE ALS9 LEARNED FR9M HER HIST9RY DIGGING THAT IF ANY 9THER 6L99DCASTE 6ARRING A FUCHSIA KILLS THE EMPRESS SHE'LL LET 9UT A DEATH RATTLE- THAT IS SHE'LL RELEASE THE VAST GLU6 AND KILL EVERY9NE ELSE. ***THAT*** IS WHY WE C9ULDN'T JUST ASSASSINATE THE C9NDESCE BECAUSE IT W9ULD KILL THE REST 9F US AS WELL. #INSURANCE.  
EB: wait, how do you even know if that's true? if her scream would kill everything, then how would you know that?  
CG: 6ECAUSE IT DID HAPPEN 9NCE. LIKE A FUCKING L9NG TIME AG9, 6ACK 6EF9RE WE WERE AN EMPIRE. 6ACK 6EF9RE WE EVEN HAD SPACEFLIGHT 9R IND99R LIGHTNING. 6ACK WHEN WE WERE PRETTY MUCH CAVE-DWELLING. SHIT, IT WAS LIKE NEARLY A D9ZEN EMPRESSES 6EF9RE THE C9NDESCE, THAT'S H9W L9NG AG9 IT HAPPENED. 6UT L9NG ST9RY SH9RT, THE CURRENT EMPRESS WAS KILLED WHEN SHE WAS G9ING T9 FIGHT THE HEIRESS. SHE APPARENTLY RELEASED THE VAST GLU6 IN HER LAST 6REATH AND KILLED EVERY TR9LL 9N ALTERNIA. #DEATH RATTLE. #SPITEFUL 6ITCH.  
CG: FUCHSIAS ARE IMMUNE T9 THE VAST GLU6, S9 THE HEIRESS WAS SPARED 6EING KILLED IN THE PHYSIC SH9CKWAVE. ALS9 6ACK THEN WE HAD A SHITL9AD M9RE M9THER GRU6S 6ECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE QUICK TRANSP9RT 9R THE DR9NE 6UCKET SERVICE SET UP, WHICH IS WHY 9UR SPECIES MANAGED T9 SURVIVE. #LEWD SHIT. #N9T SUITA6LE F9R WIGGLERS.  
CG: AND 6ECAUSE 9F THAT ALL THE GENETIC MATERIAL WAS ST9RED IN THE 6R99DING CAVERNS WHERE THE JADES LIVED, SINCE THERE WAS N9 MANDAT9RY GENETIC MATERIAL C9NTRI6UTI9N UNLIKE 9UR W9NDERFUL PRESENT DAY SITUATI9NS S9 THE JADES JUST USED THE MATERIAL AT THE START 9F EACH SWEEP REGARDLESS. 6ECAUSE 9F THIS, THE HEIRESS PRETTY MUCH HAD T9 TRAVEL R9UND EACH 6R99DING CAVE AND CARE F9R EACH M9THER GRU6 HERSELF; SHE HAD T9 6UILD HER 9WN DAMN EMPIRE BACK UP BY HAND.  
CG: SHE SUCCEEDED AND REIGNED F9R QUITE A WHILE 6EFORE DYING T9 9NE OF HER HEIRESSES. 6UT THAT LESS9N WAS 6URNED INTO 9UR THINKPANS, AND THUS THE EMPRESS IS 9FF LIMITS 6ECAUSE IF SHE G9ES D9WN SHE'LL TAKE US WITH HER.  
EB: huh, she sounds pretty hard core. less of an asshole then your current empress, anyway.  
CG: YEAH, FEFERI WAS PRETTY HAPPY T9 FIND 9UT 9NE OF HER ANCEST9RS ACTUAL DID S9METHING 6ESIDES FLY A69UT AND MURDER EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. WE C9ULDN'T FIND 9UT HER REAL NAME, H9WEVER. THE C9NDESCE APPARENTLY ISSUED A FUCKING GAG 9RDER 9N EVERYTHING A69UT PAST EMPRESSES AND SHE'S THE 9NLY 9NE WH9 HAS THE FULL HISTORY 9N THEM, INCLUDING THEIR NAMES. #NARCISSISTIC N99KWHIFF.   
CG: 9F C9URSE, THAT CURRENT WAY OF 6UILDING UP THE EMPIRE ISN'T FEASI6LE ANYM9RE; DR9NES C9LLECT THE MATERIAL AND THEY USE IT RIGHT AWAY 9N THE M9THER GRU6S DURING C9NSCRIPTI9N. THERE AREN'T ANY ST9RES LEFT, S9 IF A VAST GLU6 HAPPENS AS A SPECIES WE'RE SCREWED.  
CG: WELL, I SUPP9SE FEFERI C9ULD G9 AR9UND EVERY C9RPSE IN THE EMPIRE AND 6RING THE MATERIAL 6ACK T9 THE M9THER GRU6S 9N ALTERNIA, 6UT IT W9ULD TAKE HER A FEW HUNDRED TH9USAND SWEEPS T9 D9 IT S9 SHE'D PR96A6LY G9 C9MPLETELY MAD FR9M IS9LATION PLUS THE HIGH RISK 9F DYING FR9M STARVATION 9R ALIEN ATTACK, S9 YEAH. N9T A G99D PLAN. #L9NELY. #FUCKING C9RPSE DESECRATI9N.  
CG: 6UT YEAH, **THAT** IS THE FUCKING REAS9N WHY WE JUST CAN'T KILL THE C9NDESCE. IT HAS T9 6E THR9UGH AN HEIRESS 9R THE VAST GLU6 HAPPENS AND KILLS US ALL.  
CG: THAT IS WHY I C9NVINCED FEFERI T9 WAIT S9 SHE C9ULD G9 THR9UGH HER ADULT M9LT AND TRAIN M9RE, S9 SHE HAD A GREATER CHANCE 9F WINNING. S9 SHE HAD A GREATER CHANCE 9F KILLING THAT ASSH9LE AND TAKING HER THR9NE. S9 SHE W9ULDN'T 6E KILLED AS AN AD9LESCENT AND WE HAD T9 WAIT A FEW HUNDRED SWEEPS F9R AN9THER TYRIAN T9 CRAWL FR9M THE CAVERNS.  
CG: THAT'S WHY WE WAITED.  
EB: yeah like, fantastic troll history lesson right there karkat.  
EB: and you did explain why fieri decided to fob off kicking the condesce's ass.  
EB: but what you didn't say is why hasn't she challenged the empress already then???  
EB: because i'm pretty sure all of you guys have gone through those " adult molts " already :/  
CG: THE REAS9N *****FEFERI***** HASN'T CHALLENGED THE EMPRESS IS 6ECAUSE SHE CAN'T FUCKING GET CL9SE EN9UGH T9 D9 IT! #HER NAME IS FEFERI. #ASSH9LE.  
CG: WHEN WE LEFT ALTERNIA DURING C9NCEPTI9N, FEFERI ESSENTIALLY SPITED TRADITI9N. 6ECAUSE 9F THIS, THE C9NDESCE ISSUE A KILL-9N-SIGHT 9RDER 9N HER. UNLIKE THE EMPRESS, IF FEFERI IS KILLED BY A N9N-TYRIAN IT D9ESN'T MATTER. S9 INSTEAD 9F IT 6EING A FIGHT 6ETWEEN TW9 FUCHSIAS, WE N9W HAVE T9 S9MEH9W GET THR9UGH THE WH9LE DAMN EMPIRE T9 GET T9 THE EMPRESS S9 FEFERI CAN CHALLENGE HER T9 A DUEL.  
CG: IF SHE CAN PU6LICLY TRAP THE C9NDESCE BY ISSUING A CHALLENGE F9R A 9NE-9N-9NE FIGHT THEN THE C9NDESCE WILL 6E F9RCED T9 ANSWER IT 9R L99K WEAK. AND WE ALL KN9W THE C9NDESCE IS T99 MUCH 9F A PR9UDFUL 6ITCH T9 TURN THAT D9WN. #ARR9GANT FISH.   
CG: 6UT IT HAS T9 BE FACE T9 FACE ISSUE 9F THE CHALLENGE AND THE C9NDESCE D9ESN'T SEEM T9 6E IN THE M99D T9 ALL9W US ANYWHERE NEAR HER, WHICH IS WHY WE'VE 6EEN F9CUSING ALL 9UR EFF9RTS 9N M9RE SU6TLE SHIT AND 6EHIND THE SCENES RE6ELLI9N, TRYING T9 GIVE 9URSELVES EN9UGH R99M. THE RISK 9F GETTING FEFERI KILLED 6Y ANY RAND9M IDI9T IS T99 GREAT. #VALUA6LE FISH.  
CG: S9 YEAH, S9RRY IF THE FACT THIS IS S9ME C9MPLICATED SHIT IS RUINING Y9UR DAY.  
EB: you know what?  
EB: you can just fuck off, karkat!  
EB: all i read were excuses.  
EB: trying to explain away why you fucked up again! why that horrible fucking empress is still alive!  
EB: after the game we went on with our lives and you know what? it was pretty great; you wouldn't believe the things my family managed to create for humanity! everything was great!  
EB: then you guys showed up and started killing us!  
EB: and you're still fucking doing it! so get that heiresses ass over here and kill that fucking empress so you guys can leave us alone!  
CG: W9ULD Y9U CALM D9WN? WE AREN'T EXACTLY CAMPING 9UT NEXT T9 Y9UR DAMN HIVE! #F9R FUCKS SAKE J9HN.  
EB: oh YOU'RE telling me to calm down! wow i should totally get dave on here, he'd probably die from the irony.  
CG: SPARE ME Y9UR RIGHTE9US INDIGNATI9N, I'VE 6EEN GETTING EN9UGH 9F THIS CRAP FR9M ZAHHAK RECENTLY, WHILE FEFERI TRIES T9 MAKE EVERY9NE CALM THE FUCK D9WN AND ST9P MURDERING EACH 9THER. #NEIGH. #GLU6.  
EB: clearly she needs to try harder.  
CG: HEY, FUCK Y9U! SHE'S TRYING T9 MAKE THINGS 6ETTER AND THAT'S M9RE THAN M9ST HIGH6L99DS, S9 D9N'T 6LAME HER!   
EB: yeah well, yell about your pink girlfriend all you want, i'm still blaming you lot! because of your stupid shit millions of humans are dead and jane's probably being tortured right now because of you guys!  
CG: WH9'S JANE?  
EB: are you fucking serious?  
EB: ugh, did you guys like do anything on the meteor trip?  
EB: or did you just sit around being useless?  
CG: IT WAS LIKE SIX FUCKING SWEEPS AG9, J9HN! REMEM6ERING ALL THE CRAZY SHIT THAT HAPPENED WHILE HE WAS A WIGGLER WASN'T RIGHT AT THE T9P 9F MY LIST. #MEM9RY PRI9RITIES.  
EB: he?  
CG: SHIT, I MEANT ME. 6UT ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, EVER SINCE WE LEFT ALTERNIA WE HAVEN'T 6EEN THINKING A69UT SGRU6 AND ALL THAT SHIT SINCE F9ND MEM9RIES WEREN'T 9N THE HIGHEST PRI9RITY LIST. WELL, ARADIA MAY6E. PRETTY SURE SHE WR9TE ALL THAT SHIT D9WN, S9 ASK HER IF YOU'RE S9 DAMN INTERESTED. SHE'S ALWAYS KN9W L9ADS 9F SHIT, PR96A6LY 6ECAUSE SHE WAS A SPRITE. TH9UGH THE REST D9N'T; SHE THINKS IT'S 6ECAUSE THEY WERE IN A V9ID SESSI9N, S9 THEY DIDN'T GAIN ANYTHING WHEN THEY 6ECAME PR9T9TYPED. #SGRUB SHIT. #SPRITES.  
EB: huh, that makes sense i suppose. jade remembers the most about the game because she used to be a sprite, so she knows a lot about everything in it. kinda the same with rose, though i guess that's because she's a seer.  
EB: the rest of us just tend to get pretty realistic dreams every so often; rose says they're probably us having visions of doomed timelines and offcuts. that kinda stuff.  
EB: thought honestly i could really do without more dreams where i die horribly or go mad surrounded by my dead family.   
EB: get enough of that shit as it is.  
EB: but to answer your question, jane is my ectobiological grandmother/daughter.  
EB: you know, one of the players in the alpha session?  
EB: maid of life? looked kinda like jade but with way neater hair?  
EB: she also totally stabbed you with her trident while she was evil.  
CG: 9H GREAT, WE'RE 6ACK T9 THAT AGAIN. ALL MY DEATHS SEEM T9 INV9LVE SHARP LETHAL INSTRUMENTS 9R 6URNING ALIVE. 6UT YES, N9W THAT Y9U GRACEFULLY 6R9UGHT THAT UP, I D9 REMEM6ER HAVE A VERY P9INT 9BJECT RAMMED INT9 MY CHEST AND KILLING ME AS S9ME CRAZY HUMAN WITH CRAZY RED PSI9NIC GANDER 6UL6S SCREAMED '96EY' AT ME WHILE JADE FUCKED A69UT WITH Y9U IN THE 6ACKGR9UND. GREAT TIMES, I F9NDLY RECALL THAT M9MENT. #ASS.  
EB: whatever karkat, you pretty much stood there and let her stab you.   
EB: you were like the token non-action dude in your little alien group.  
CG: FUCK Y9U! INCASE Y9U DIDN'T N9TICE I WAS A FREAKED-9UT WIGGLER GETTING THREATENED 6Y TW9 DANGER9US 6RAINWASHED FEMALE G9DS WITH MURDER9US INTENTI9NS.  
EB: yeah pretty sure you started goading them and got stabbed for you asshole behaviour.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK D9 Y9U WANT FR9M ME, J9HN? DID Y9U JUST MESSAGE ME T9 THR9W ALL MY FAILURES 6ACK IN MY FACE AND RIP 9PEN 9LD W9UNDS? 6ECAUSE DESPITE WHAT Y9U THINK, I AM FULLY AWARE 9F H9W CRAPPY I AM AND GUESS WHAT? I STILL TRY.  
EB: and that is just working out fantastically for the rest of us.  
CG: L99K, Y9U'RE GETTING WAY T9 PERS9NAL S9 WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED T9 THAT WEIRD RELATIVE 9F Y9URS? THAT SEEMED T9 SET Y9U 9FF EVEN M9RE THAN LAST TIME. #LUSUS. #MAIDS. #MAIDS EVERYWHERE.  
EB: i'm getting 'personal' because jane got fucking captured!  
EB: it was all because of that stupid idea with the observer!   
CG: WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE 96SERVER?  
CG: S9LLUX MENTI9NED A SHITL9AD 9F THE SECURITY AND SPYWARE 9N THE EMPIRE SUDDENLY SHUT D9WN A FEW DAYS AG9 AND HALF THE FIREWALLS 9N EVERYTHING WENT 6ALLISTIC. IT WAS S9ME G99D NEWS, SINCE IT HELPED HIM DIG 9UT A L9T 9F THE 6UGS IN 9UR SYSTEM FR9M THE EMPIRE AND IS9LATED S9ME TRAIT9RS IN 9UR RANTS. Y9U GUYS HAD S9METHING T9 D9 WITH THAT? #YELL9WS.   
EB: yeah roxy and jane managed to get on the ship and kill the observer after downloading all her information.  
CG: I  
CG: H9LY SHIT.  
CG: H9W THE FUCK DID THEY MANAGE THAT? THE 96SERVER WAS 9N THE FUCKING SU6JUGGLAT9R FLAGSHIP; THAT'S WHY WE C9ULD NEVER GET T9 HER. THE RISK 9F CL9WN MAULING, N9T T9 MENTI9N IT'S 9NE 9F THE LARGEST AND M9ST P9WERFUL SHIPS IN THE FLEET, ALWAYS NULLIFIED ANY P9TENTIAL 9PERATI9N T9 TAKE 9UT THE 96SERVER. DESPITE THE FACT SHE WAS 9NE 9F THE LARGEST THREATS T9 US; WE'VE 6EEN 9UTED BY HER SPYWARE M9RE TIMES THAN I CARE T9 C9UNT.  
CG: BUT THEY REALLY MANAGED T9 KILL HER?  
EB: yeah roxy said jane made sure she was the one who killed the observer; she's a life player, so she would know when someone was really dead.  
CG: SHIT. WELL, G99D 9N THEM. THEY CERTAINLY T99K 9UT A MASSIVE ADVANTAGE F9R THE EMPIRE. EVEN IF THEY D9 INSTALL AN9THER 96SERVER IT W9ULD TAKE IT SWEEPS T9 PR9CESS EVERYTHING 6EF9RE IT CAN BE 9F ANY USE F9R THE EMPIRE. #6REATHING SPACE. #SU6TLE HELMSMAN.  
EB: yeah it's great.  
EB: good on them.  
CG: 9H, WHAT DID I STEP IN N9W? #F99T IN PR9TEIN CHUTE.  
EB: jane and roxy got on the ship and killed the observer.  
EB: only problem is only one of them made it back and it wasn't my grandmother.  
CG: AH SHIT, SHE WAS KILLED?  
CG: I'M S9RRY J9HN, IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING.  
EB: jane isn't dead!  
EB: or at least the condesce hasn't rang us up to show us her dead body or anything.  
EB: but she got captured by the clowns after saving roxy.  
EB: so yeah, i really fucking doubt she's in any healthy state of mind or body right now and it's all your fault!  
CG: SHE G9T CAPTURED?  
CG: SHIT.  
CG: 9KAY, MAY6E IT W9ULD'VE 6EEN 6ETTER IF SHE HAD 6EEN KILLED. #6RUTAL TRUTH.  
EB: don't fucking say that!  
CG: IT'S TRUE, J9HN.  
CG: THE G9DS 9NLY KN9W H9W MANY PEOPLE WE'VE DRAGGED 9UT 9F TH9SE FUCKED UP CARNIVALS AND LET ME TELL Y9U, THE 9NES THE CL9WNS KILL 9FF QUICKLY ARE THE FUCKING LUCKY 9NES. THE 9NES WH9 ARE EITHER CRIPPLED 6EY9ND REPAIR, 9R HAVE 6EEN FUCKED UP S9 6AD BY THE CL9WNS THEY'VE PRETTY MUCH DEAD INSIDE ANYWAY ARE FUCKING H9RREND9US T9 L99K AT AND TRYING T9 TALK WITH THEM IS LIKE TALKING T9 A 6REATHING C9RPSE M9RE 9FTEN THAN N9T. THEY'VE G9NE THR9UGH SHIT I D9N'T WANT T9 EVEN THINK A69UT. #SADISM. #CL9WNS. #CL9WN 6RUTALITY.  
CG: AND IF JANE'S BEEN CAPTURED 6Y THE SUBJUGGLAT9RS THAN I HAVE N9 D9U6T THE C9NDESCE WILL GIVE THE SU6JUGGLAT9RS FREE REIGN T9 D9 WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITH HER. AND I HAVE N9 IDEA H9W IMMUNE YOU GUYS ARE T9 THEIR CHUCKLEV99D99'S S9 MENTALLY SHE C9ULD 6E AS FUCKED UP AS THE PHYSICAL T9RTURE THEY'RE D9ING T9 HER. #PSYCHICS. #FEAR M9NGERS.  
EB: oh come on!  
CG: IT'S TRUE, J9HN! THERE'S A REAS9N WHY THE CL9WNS ARE THE MAIN ENF9RCERS F9R THE C9NDESCE, THE 9NES WH9 ARE IN CHARGE 9F 6RUTALIZING EVERY9NE INT9 C9MPLIANCE AND IT'S N9T 6ECAUSE THEY HAVE FUCKING G99D DE6ATE SKILLS! IT'S 6ECAUSE THEY CAN FUCK Y9U UP AND THEY KN9W THE 6EST WAY T9 D9 IT.  
EB: yeah but surely you have some guys within the empire who could help out?  
CG: N9T 9NES WH9SE RANK CAN HELP HER.  
CG: TEREZI WAS WITH THE LEGISLACERAT9RS AND 6ECAME 9NE 9F THE GRAND JURY WITHIN THEIR RANKS F9R HER PRESTIGI9US W9RK 6UT SHE WAS F9RCED T9 6L9W HER C9VER AS 9NE 9F US WHEN SHE HAD T9 RESCUE EQUIUS. APPARENTLY SOME9NE RATTED HIM 9UT AND HE G9T DETAINED 6Y THE LEGISLACERAT9RS AND THEY WERE G9ING T9 SEND HIM T9 RE-EDUCATI9N S9 SHE 6USTED HIM 9UT. #ESCAPE. #RE-EDUCATI9N IS FUCKED UP.  
CG: 6UT WE L9ST TW9 9F 9UR HIGHEST RANKED AGENTS WITH TH9SE TW9 AND EVEN THEN IF THEY WERE STILL IN THE EMPIRE GETTING ANYWHERE NEAR THE CL9WNS WAS T99 RISKY; MAKARA W9ULD'VE REC9GNIZED THEM INSTANTLY AND KILLED THEM. #CL9WNS. #H9NK.  
EB: wait why would gamzee try to kill you?  
CG: 6ECAUSE HE D9ESN'T FUCKING LIKE US? 6AD ENOUGH HE 6EAT THE SHIT 9UT 9F US 9N ALTERNIA WHEN ME AND KANAYA WENT T9 SPEAK WITH HIM, 6UT HE MADE IT REALLY FUCKING CLEAR HE DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING T9 D9 WITH US 9R THE RE6ELLI9N THEN HE WENT AR9UND AND J9INED THE FUCKING CHURCH AND 6ECAME THE DAMN GRAND HIGH6L99D T9 699T. TYPICAL. HE ACTED S9 INDIFFERENT 6UT 96VI9USLY HE JUST WANTED US T9 THINK HE'D GIVEN UP JUST S9 WE W9ULDN'T KILL HIM WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE.  
EB: ha, you clearly know jackshit.   
EB: dirk and roxy have been spending ages trying to break into the information they've got from the observer.  
EB: and quite a few mentioned gamzee :/  
CG: W9W, THAT REALLY CHANGED MY P9INT 9F VIEW A69UT MAKARA. #N9T REALLY.  
EB: ugh, no idiot! they mentioned that gamzee was pretty much half dead from starvation and didn't give buckets to the drone, whatever that means.  
CG: WHY W9ULD HE D9 THAT?  
EB: how would i know? but yeah, i can safely say he didn't up to spite you karkat.  
EB: weirdly enough, not everything is all about you.  
CG: WELL FINE, S9 HE DIDN'T J9IN UP WITH THE EMPIRE 9UT 9F SPITE. GREAT, THAT MEANS FEFERI WAS RIGHT A69UT THAT AS WELL.  
CG: EVEN S9, I'M N9T A69UT 9PEN UP THE WELC9ME CART F9R HIM. HE'S FUCKED US 9VER M9RE TIMES THAN I CAN BE 69THERED T9 REMEM6ER.  
EB: yeah well with your attitude i really don't blame him for beating you up :/  
CG: HEY, THERE WAS N9 REAS9N F9R HALF 9F THE SHIT HE DID! MUCH LESS 6ITING 9FF 9NE 9F MY FUCKING HANDS AND 6REAKING 9NE 9F THE KANAYA'S H9RNS. THAT WAS JUST UNNECESSARY. #AND FUCKING PAINFUL.  
EB: pfft  
EB: let me guess, you went down there and screamed in his face and he beat you up for it?  
CG: NEITHER!  
EB: :/  
CG: UGH, 9KAY I MIGHT'VE G9TTEN ANGRY. AND V9CAL AND FLAILING A69UT IT WHEN WE WENT T9 SPEAK T9 HIM. I D9N'T EVEN KN9W WHAT SET HIM HIM 9FF AND THEN *SNAP* SUDDENLY I WAS MISSING A HAND. THEN KANAYA G9T HER H9RN BR9KEN DRAGGING HIM 9FF ME AND IT WENT D9WNHILL FR9M THERE.  
CG: WELL, WHATEVER, AT LEAST HE DIDN'T TRY HALF-KILLING ARADIA AND FEFERI WHEN THEY WENT T9 TALK WITH HIM. APPARENTLY IT WAS ME HE HAD THE PR96LEMS WITH. #FUCKING CL9WNS.  
EB: yeah maybe he just got fed up with you screaming at him all the time.  
EB: but anyway, he's here on earth.  
EB: according to jade he's like fourteen feet high now and he nearly killed jane when they had a punch up together.  
CG: WAIT, S9 SHE G9T IN A 9NE-9N-9NE FIGHT WITH HIM AND LIVED? HUH, 9KAY I GIVE HER S9ME PR9PS THEN. EVEN WHEN IT WAS THE F9UR 9F US AS ADULTS HE MANAGED TO MAUL US PRETTY G99D WHEN HE C9RNERED US 9UTSIDE THE SLAVING DISTRICTS AND EVEN THEN 9UT MAIN PR9PERTY WAS JUST RUNNING F9R IT. NASTIEST FUCKING SURPRISE I'VE HAD IN A L9NG TIME, ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D SEEN HIM AS AN ADULT. #GIANT CL9WNS.  
EB: yeah jade said it was like seeing a trex size killer clown. she freaked out pretty good but jane was kinda shaken up to realize it was gamzee who attacked her.  
EB: i suppose that was a good thing, though.  
EB: at least he remembered her.  
CG: WHY W9ULD HE CARE? C9NSIDERING HE DIDN'T HESITATE INT9 TRYING T9 RIP 9UR HEADS 9FF WHEN HE MET 6ACK UP WITH US AFTER BEC9MING THE GRAND HIGH6L99D. LIKE FEFERI MENTI9NED HE WAS S9MEH9W IN THE ALPHA SESSI9N AND MADE THE SPRITES S9 HE MET THE ALPHA PLAYERS AT 9NE P9INT 6UT WHY W9ULD HE 69THER N9T KILLING HER? DID SHE INJURE HIM? #6ARDS AND MAIDS.  
EB: wow, you REALLY know fuck all about gamzee don't you?  
EB: i thought he was your 'best friend' or something.  
CG: HE WAS, 6EF9RE HE WENT HIVESHIT, KILLED EQUIUS AND NEPETA THEN 6EAT TEREZI T9 DEATH. #THAT 6REAKS FRIENDSHIPS.  
EB: yeah whatever, terezi killed me and dave before but i stopped moaning about it didn't i?  
EB: besides, they all came back when the game reset, right?  
EB: so get over it!  
CG: WHY SH9ULD I? HE'S 9FFERED N9 REGRET 9VER IT AND DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT A69UT ANYTHING WE WERE D9ING, EVEN WHEN FEFERI WENT T9 PLEAD WITH HIM T9 J9IN US HE DIDN'T CARE. #APATHETIC CL9WN.  
EB: with friends like you i can't imagine why he'd be so hostile. :/  
CG: EXCUSE ME?  
EB: you're a shit friend is why.  
EB: like weren't you on that meteor with him for three years? and as his monorail or whatever?  
CG: HE WAS MY M9RAYEEL AT 9NE P9INT 6UT THAT WAS SWEEPS AG9 AND IT WAS A TERRI6LE 9NE REGARDLESS. I JUST DID IT T9 ST9P HIM FR9M KILLING THE REST 9F US.  
CG: SHIT, I MEAN M9IRAIL. HE'S N9T MY M9IRAIL. N9T ANYM9RE BY A L9NG SH9T.  
EB: obviously. but id figure basic shit like knowing he was with jane would've come up at one point if you were living together.   
EB: though going by rose's accounts you remaining trolls did a real bang up job of isolating him even further or actively tried to attack him. little wonder he beat the shit out of you guys when he got fed up with it. just surprised he didn't try to kill you all sooner. :/  
CG: Y9U JUST CAN'T 6LAME   
CG: WAIT, WHAT D9 Y9U MEAN HE WAS 'WITH' JANE? IS THAT S9ME KIND 9F HUMAN EUPHEMISM? #SPECIES DIFFERENCE.  
EB: durr, no!   
EB: i meant he was involved with jane romantically.  
EB: like before we showed up in the alpha session.  
EB: i think they were together for like three months or something? like between her birthday and something roxy calls the 'batshit sugar high time'.  
CG: 6UT H9W C9ULD  
CG: THAT MAKES N9 FUCKING SENSE.  
CG: WHY W9ULD HE  
CG: WHEN  
CG: I  
CG: SHIT.  
CG: RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE. WELL, HINDSIGHT IS A 6ITCH, AS THEY SAY. HIM KILLING TEREZI WHEN SHE KICKED HIM 9FF JANE, SUDDENLY HAVING ZER9 INTEREST IN ANY 9F US 9N THE METE9R, WHY HE SUDDENLY STARTED SMELLING LIKE 6AKING ALL THE TIME...AND IT CERTAINLY EXPLAINS WHY HE WENT HIVESHIT D9WN AT THE 6EACH WHEN KANAYA AND I SP9KE WITH HIM. #6AD W9RDING.  
EB: ugh, let me guess? you decided to get all personal and screamy when you couldn't get your way.  
CG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE J9HN!   
CG: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.  
CG: JUST THIS...REVELATI9N D9ES EXPLAIN WHY HE T99K SUCH UM6RIDGE WITH S9ME 9F MY YELLING 6ACK THEN, TH9UGH. H9WEVER I STILL THINK 6ITING MY HAND 9FF AND MAULING THE SHIT 9UT 9F ME WAS A 6IT EXCESSIVE. FUCK, H9W DID THIS ALL TURN INT9 SUCH A MESS? #CLUSTERFUCK. #INTERSPECIES R9MANCE.  
EB: because you suck.  
CG: 9KAY, N9W Y9U'RE JUST 6EING RUDE.  
EB: no, i'm being honest.  
EB: because the way i see it all of this is your fault.  
EB: and i'm not just saying this about you guys being idiots towards gamzee and making him hate you.  
EB: which seems like a completely stupid thing to do considering he was another game player but whatever.  
CG: L99K, HE WASN'T THE 9NLY 9NE WH9 LEFT, ALRIGHT? FEFERI SAID WE HAD N9 RIGHT IN F9RCING THEM T9 J9IN 9UR RE6ELLI9N WHICH WAS A VALID P9INT AND UNLESS THEY CR9SSED PATHS WITH US 9R WERE ACTIVELY TRYING T9 FUCKING KILLS US THEN WE SH9ULD JUST LET THEM WALK THEIR PATHS AND 9N THEIR HEAD 6E IT IF THEY GET KILLED 9R ENSLAVED. I DISAGREED PERS9NALLY AND TH9UGHT WE SH9ULD'VE KILLED MAKARA AND SERKET WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE, 6UT WHATEVER. #MURDER9US. #9WN CH9ICE I SUPP9SE. #THE WITCH HAS SP9KEN.  
EB: wait so not only gamzee went rogue?  
EB: vriska also joined the empire?  
CG: 6AH, HARDLY. SHE DECIDED T9 TRY AND 6E A AN9THER SHITTY MINDFANG OR S9METHING AND THUS GAVE US THE MIDDLE FINGER WHEN SHE FL9UNCED 9FF 9N HER 9WN. FUCK, HER MEM9RY IS T9TAL SHIT SINCE SHE SEEMS T9 KEEP 9N F9RGETTING WHAT HAPPENS EVERY BL99DY TIME SHE'S TRIED THAT STUPID ARR9GANT CRAP 6EF9RE. FEFERI AND TEREZI WERE ESPECIALLY FUCKING PISSED WHEN THEY F9UND 9UT AND LET HER HAVE IT 6EF9RE SHE LEFT. #6ACKSTA6. #STRANGULATI9N. #QUADRANT C9NFUSI9N.  
CG: 6UT WE DID GET REP9RTS A69UT HER EVERY S9 9FTEN UNTIL SHE FELL 9FF THE RADAR A FEW SWEEPS 6ACK. THEN TEREZI G9T A REALLY NICE PACKAGE DELIVERED T9 HER WITH VRISKA'S SEVERED ARM AND A EMPTY B9TTLE 9F FAYG9 IN IT WHEN SHE WAS STILL IN THE LEGISLACERAT9R 6USINESS. THAT WAS A FANTASTIC FUCKING WEEKEND, LET ME TELL Y9U. #ATTEMPTED RE6EL REVEAL. #SNEAKY CL9WNS.  
CG: S9 YES, WE ASSUMED SHE G9T CAPTURED 6Y THE SU6JUGGLAT9RS, G9T HER MIND 6R9KEN AND HER 69DY STRUNG UP IN THE CARNIVALS. H9WEVER SINCE SHE SPENT HER SWEEPS 9FF ALTERNIA PRETTY MUCH MINDC9NTR9LLING AND ENSLAVING PE9PLE WHILE TRYING T9 KILL AND 6UTCHER HER WAY 9N THE P9PULARITY LIST LIKE S9ME DUM6ASS WIGGLER, FEFERI 9RDERED US T9 N9T 69THER TRYING T9 FIND HER. SHE ASSUMED THE CARNIVAL KNEW EXACTLY WH9 VRISKA WAS AND WAS TRYING T9 G9AD US INT9 D9ING SOMETHING STUPID AND DRASTIC T9 GET HER 9UT. #WHO LIKED HER ANYWAY. #HUGE 6ITCH 6LUH 6LUH. #KARMA.  
EB: so you just left her.  
CG: YES. VRISKA MADE HER 9WN FUCKING WE6, DESPITE EVERYTHING WE TRIED T9 D9 T9 C9NVINCE HER 9THERWISE. DESPITE HER SELF EVEN FUCKING KN9WING WHAT HAPPENED ALL TH9SE 9THER TIMES. N9W SHE HAD T9 GET HERSELF TANGLED IN IT AND WE WERE ALL FED UP WITH TRYING T9 FIX HER REPEATED FUCK UPS. S9 YES, WE LEFT HER. #CAN'T TEACH AN 9LD H99F6EAST NEW TRICKS.  
EB: like don't get me wrong karkat, this has been a real fantastic reunion with you.  
EB: you explaining why you let the empire run around again and kill everything, why gamzee hates everyone and all that fun shit, but really?  
EB: i don't give a shit about it.  
CG: J9HN.  
EB: don't you 'john' me!  
EB: the way i see it, you've had ample time to challenge the condesce but nooooo, you fobbed it off because you 'weren't ready'!  
EB: so you can just take your excuses and cram them, because i don't care!  
CG: J9HN, WE DIDN'T INTEND F9R THIS T9 HAPPEN.  
EB: no, you just intended for everyone to sit around and die because you guys aren't ready to fucking do anything!  
EB: well news flash!   
EB: not everything is about you or your fucked up species!  
EB: like for christ sake even in the damn game you trolls kept on getting second and a hundredth chances because you seem to fuck up everything!  
EB: and now it looks like you're just sitting down fuck all and blaming everyone else once again!  
CG: THAT IS *N9T* WHAT WE'RE D9ING!  
EB: save it for someone who cares!  
EB: because as of right now i am just fucking fed up with having to fix the mess you guys always make!  
EB: god, its like we're back in sburb and we're being blamed for everything bad that happened which you stupid fucks were responsible for in the first place!  
EB: so whatever!  
EB: go sit and do nothing with your little gang then beside blame everything on someone else and complain.  
EB: wow, just like old times, right?!  
CG: J9HN, PLEASE. THAT ISN'T WHAT WE'RE TRYING T9 D9! AND WE NEVER INTENDED F9R Y9U GUYS T9 GET ATTACKED LIKE THIS, MUCH LESS HAVE T9 DEAL WITH MAKARA AND HAVING 9NE 9F Y9UR 9WN CAPTURED.  
EB: oh you didn't MEAN it! i feel so much better now!  
EB: and i bet all those few million people the trolls have murdered so far totally feel better know you feel bad and didn't mean all of this to happen.  
CG: WELL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK D9 Y9U WANT ME T9 SAY?  
EB: i don't want you to fucking say anything! i want you to DO something!!  
EB: like i don't know, come kick the empresses ass or something?!  
CG: WE CAN'T D9 THAT! WE STILL D9N'T HAVE EN9UGH FIREP9WER T9 GET ANYWHERE NEAR THE C9NDESCE S9 FEFERI IS CL9SE EN9UGH T9 ISSUE HER CHALLENGE. #I EXPLAINED THIS.  
EB: whatever.  
EB: but i really hope you understand something karkat.  
CG: Y9U THINK WE'RE USELESS, I'M FULLY AWARE 9F THAT FUCKING FACT, THANK Y9U VERY MUCH.  
EB: oh so we're back to everything being about you?  
EB: but no, even though you're being completely dickish as usual because 'wah not my fault we were off doing other shit than dealing with our crappy ruler' that's not what i was going to say.  
EB: i was going to give you a warning more than anything.  
CG: A WARNING?  
EB: pretty much.  
EB: because you're a lot of things karkat but i don't think you're stupid.  
EB: so yeah, i'm pretty much telling you to get your ass to earth and make feferi fight the condesce.  
CG: HAVE Y9U  
CG: HAVE Y9U EVEN LISTENED T9 A SINGLE W9RD I'VE SAID? 6ECAUSE I WR9TE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS 9N WHY *WE* *CAN'T* *D9* *THAT!* #READING C9MPREHENSI9N. #WHAT IS IT.  
EB: oh no i read that!  
EB: and i also read the part where you said offing the condesce would kill the trolls.  
EB: ergo it would kill all of those trying to eradicate humanity right now if we just cut the head off.  
CG: WAIT J9HN, Y9U CAN'T MEAN THAT.  
EB: well i do!  
EB: you know, maybe i thought we were friends at some point karkat, but you've made it pretty fucking clear you don't give a shit about us at all. you just said 'deal with it' when you heard your fucking species was trying to kill off mine.  
CG: Y9U'RE MISC9NSTRUING WHAT I SAID! I NEVER SAID F9R Y9U T9 JUST SIT THERE AND DIE.  
EB: oh right, just that is wasn't your fault you totally failed to do anything.  
CG: F9R FUCKS SAKE!  
EB: would you shut up for one damn minute?  
CG: 6AH.  
CG: FINE. WHAT ARE Y9U G9ING T9 LECTURE ME A69UT?  
EB: you told us killing the condesce kills off all trolls, right?  
EB: and i think you kinda get the fact that we, out of all the planets your kind have killed so far, have the highest chance of killing that asshole condesce, right?  
EB: so yeah, i think you guys should get your asses over here and try siccing that feferi onto the condesce before one of us kills her and your race is dead.  
EB: because i am fucking fed up with cleaning your guys messes up and like hell we're doing it all over again!  
EB: so unless you want to become extinct get your asses over here and actually do something with this clusterfuck!  
EB: because i am NOT letting my family die because of you ungrateful bastards all over again!  
  
epigeneticsBarometer [EB] has ceased trolling cantankerousGuanine [CG]  
  
CG: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I'LL TRY T9 TALK WITH  
CG: I  
CG: FUCKING DAMNIT, J9HN.  
CG:   
CG:   
CG: L99K.  
CG: DESPITE ALL THIS...H9RRI6LE SHIT, IT WAS STILL G99D TALKING WITH Y9U AGAIN. #I GUESS?  
CG:   
CG:   
CG:   
CG: FUCK.  
  
cantankerousGuanine [CG]  has ceased trolling epigeneticsBarometer [EB]  
  



	19. Cotton Candy

gutsyGumshoe [GG] has begun Bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
  
GG: Roxy!  
GG: Are you doing anything right now? :)  
TG: eeeyyyyye  
GG: Eye?  
GG: Is there something wrong with your eye?  
GG: Or are you you attempting to communicate with me via pirate speak?  
TG: pffft  
TG: lmao nah i was tryin to spell eyhe  
TG: eehhh?  
TG: no wait, eyyyyyy?  
TG: you know what fuck it  
TG: i was trying to make that noise youre supposed to do when you like in the know how w each other  
GG: What noise?  
TG: pfft the fukcin noise i was trying to make!  
TG: ugh whatever i screwed it it up so lets forget it lol  
GG: Alight, so we're in the know with it each now? :B  
TG: yeah cause we're like two badass ladies kickin ass in some game  
GG: ...  
GG: You've been very bored haven't you?  
TG: lolno  
GG: Ro-Lal.  
TG: oh alright  
TG: like as i said we're two badass ladies so after this shit w jake i took ur side and am giving him the mad silent treatment  
TG: like HELLA mad  
TG: every time he tries to talk i'm like NOOOOPE jake u dun fuckd up so silent treatment away!  
GG: I think actually talking to Jake whenever he speaks to you is defeating the point of the silent treatment.  
TG: probs  
TG: but anyways what you bother me about? decide to go kick some ass?  
GG: No, not quite ready to go get in another fight with those skeletal behemoths this week.   
GG: But in actuality I was going to invite you over, if you're interested?  
GG: I feel like we need to talk about a few things and I would prefer if it happened face-to-face.  
TG: oh shit  
TG: like i totally had nothing to do w that dead thing that was next to ur gate  
GG: ...  
GG: What dead thing?  
TG: um nothin  
GG: Hmm.  
GG: Going back to the topic at hand, are you interested in coming over?  
GG: Because I feel we are quite overdue for a chat and would prefer it happened sooner rather than later.  
TG: sure  
TG: was just gonna fuck about w a few sciency things which aren't sciencin how i wanna  
TG: so give me a bit to get all this oil and shit outta my hair before i come over  
GG: Okay!  
GG: Would an hour suffice?  
GG: I want to get some things sorted on my end as well. :)  
TG: oooo is that baking i smell??  
GG: Maybe. >:P  
GG: So see you then?  
TG: sure thing gurl  
TG: *LOLLIES OUTTIE*  
GG: Bye!  
  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] has ceased Bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  


With a faint smile Jane logged out of Betty Bother, feeling as if a heavy weight had been taken off her shoulders. Well, at least this was an issue she would be able to address sooner rather than later and, to be honest, she really was missing Roxy's company. 

Switching the computer off Jane pushed herself away from the desk before standing and stretching, feeling the muscles of her back and shoulders strain and twinge. She left her room with a bounce, bounding down the stairs and nearly tripping on the landing.

Standing upright, she made her way to the kitchen, making a beeline for the bench. There, resting on a cooling rack was the bakers dozen worth of sugar cookies she'd baked earlier. She gently touched a fingertip to the nearest one and was pleased that it was now cool enough for her to ice it.; by the time she finished with them Roxy should've shown up.

Opening one of the cupboards she pulled out a large mixing bowl and set it next to the cooling rack before standing on tip-toes to fish out a bag of icing from the top cupboards. Jane took a brief moment to thank her father for keeping the kitchen well stocked up in supplies; so far her few cautious attempts to Alchemize different ingredients for baking left a lot to be desired.

Well, her father may still be imprisoned in an alien prison but at least she knew from Roxy's reconnaissance that her father was treated more like an honoured guest than a prisoner. This did strike Jane as odd and she pondered upon it as she ripped open the bag of icing, pouring a generous amount into the bowl. As she fished out a bottle of edible glitter lurking in the spice rack as she wondered just why the Condesce was taking such measures to keep her father safe and in comfort. Jane knew the fish alien was apparently capable of affection; her long, successful -and by all accounts loving- marriage to her great-great grandfather Sassacre proved that. So maybe she had some love for her long lost great-great grandchild?

Jane severely doubted that as she twisted the lid off the glitter and dumped it into the icing; after all being the Condesce's so-called Heiress didn't stop her from getting a sharp knife in the gut on Prospit on the Queen's orders. Admittedly the Condesce hadn't menaced her personally apart from horrible headaches with that stupid tiaratop after yelling slang at her occasionally, and that one time she got a birthday present covered in vibrant pink ribbons that was a mini red trident. So Jane supposed the demented alien _did_ like her, in the same way a sociopath was fond of tormenting a hapless trapped animal because of immense boredom.

Scowling at the bowl as if it just insulted her, Jane turned away and chucked the empty bottle of pink glitter in the trash can, before plucking some red colouring from the rack and added a large splash to the icing. Then she went to the fridge and removed a block of butter, pulling a sharp knife from the utensil drawer a she walked back to the bench. Placing down the butter on a chopping board she peeled off the wrapper and sliced off a thick slab. She then put it in a plastic measuring jug and placed it in the microwave. As she waited for the butter to soften she thought back to the Batterwitch; why _did_ she marry Sassacre? Why did the alien Queen choose a baking empire of all things? It seemed like such an odd thing for a genocidal mass murderer to choose as their undercover identity.

 _I wonder if she's aware of Gamzee?_ Jane suddenly thought. The notion disturbed her; by all accounts the Condesce had a fondness for clowns if her active encouragement of ICP was to believed so she couldn't exactly dismiss the notion. However she'd questioned Gamzee before about the Empress and he apparently didn't know that much about her other than that she was a 'real grand motherfucker for the Church.'

Jane didn't know what Church he was always alluding to and he got elusive and wily when she tried pestering him about it. At least he wouldn't lie to her face as far as she could tell; he'd simply change the subject, fall silent or answer her cryptically. While Jane knew he still hid quite a bit from her and she had a suspicion he was actually a lot more depressed and downtrodden than he'd ever let on, however he had never given her a reason to be afraid or frightened of him. Well, maybe the first time when he had opened a fridge to show a dead fairy and someone's severed head in it. She was fairly panicked then, but more in a _'Holy shit what is happening why is that thing screaming,'_ panic than _'this clown is going to eat me and wear my skin'_ panic.

The shrill beep of the microwave broke her musings and she retrieved the softened butter before slopping it into the icing bowl. Using a mixing spoon she scraped the measuring jug clean of butter and chucked it into the sink before she started stirring the butter into the mixture of icing, glitter and food colouring.

She carried on mixing the icing until it was smooth and pale pink, the edible glitter sparkling as she folded it rhythmically with the spoon. When she deemed it ready she tossed the spoon into the sink, causing it to collide noisily with the jug, and then retrieved the long straight spatula from the utensil drawer.

Carefully she began to slather the pink icing on the cat-head shaped cookies, following the curve of the face and pointed tips of the ears. It took her over twenty minutes to individually ice the thirteen cookies. After finishing she put the icing bowl and straight spatula in the sink before picking up the box of long licorice ropes from one of the upper shelves. Pulling two strings from the box she put them on a chopping board and started cutting the ropes of licorice into dozens of small cubes.

Once finished with that, she sliced some more sticks of licorice lengthwise before putting them on the iced cookies, arranging them so they looked like a cats whiskers. Done with them, she then arranged the licorice cubes about the whiskers so they served as eyes. After everything was neatly arranged so thirteen pink glittery cat heads were gazing up at her she pulled a tupperware container from one of the kitchen cabinets. She then placed the cookies in the container, taking care to place them so they wouldn't overtly jostle each other. With a satisfied smile she snapped on the lid before capchaloguing the cookies in case a certain clown got a case of the munchies. 

As if reading her mind she felt a familiar bony body suddenly drape itself over her, arms wrapping around her waist and cold breath huffing against the nape of her neck.

Smiling she gently touched one of the clawed hands holding her hips, fingertips brushing against sharp claws. The lanky troll's cold body temperature caused the skin of her throat and back to ripple with goosebumps. 

"Hello, Gamzee," Jane said quietly. 

His only response was to mumble something incoherently against her throat, claws catching on the fabric of her shirt as his hands twitched. He was pressed firmly against her, to the point she could feel the sharp angles of his kneecaps, the harsh lines of his sternum and the smooth curve of his horn resting against the back of her head.

He didn't try to instigate anything more untoward however, instead just keeping himself pressed firmly against her back with his face tucked into the slope of her neck. Jane likewise didn't try to move, instead savouring the sensation of just being held.

That was another thing she liked about Gamzee. He could get extremely tactile and physically affectionate; not always in a sexual manner, more like he needed...reassurance or just close contact. Jane didn't mind in the slightest, liking the fact that he was a cuddler. Sometimes she would even wake up with him curled around her like some demented goat or he would latch himself onto her when she was on her computer.

As it were Gamzee just carried on holding onto her, humming a low whimsical tune against her throat as he started swaying gently back and forth. Jane let herself be lulled into a calm state by the rhythmic swaying, hands tightening slightly around Gamzee's bony fingers. She traced the lines of his hands, slightly concerned at how she could feel all the tendons and bones through the thin layer of grey skin. So far her efforts at fattening Gamzee up, so to speak, were working very slowly. At least his ribs and spine weren't so pronounced now. Still he was a long way from a healthy weight. Though what _was_ a healthy weight for a troll?

Hm, well now wasn't the time to lecture Gamzee about his sporadic eating habits. As it was, Roxy would be here soon and Jane needed to get ready to greet her and currently her hands were covered in icing and her white shirt stained pink. Having Gamzee rubbing against her and purring was getting distracting and she needed to freshen up.

"This is nice, but I have to go change my clothes and doing so while you're attached to me that would be difficult," Jane said quietly. _Also I would probably get distracted if I tried to have a shower with you're still attached to me,_ she thought wickedly, not bothering to suppress her grin. 

"Aw, such a motherfuckin' shame," Gamzee murmured against her throat, his teeth briefly scraping against the soft skin as he nuzzled her.

"Oh very well," Jane groaned theatrically, turning in Gamzee's grasp so she was looking up at him, her glasses askew, "I'm going to be meeting with Roxy, soon, and I'll probably spend most of the evening discussing some things with her."

Gamzee began to say something, his expression closing somewhat, but she quickly put a finger over his lips, "And I know you don't really do...greetings, with my friends for some reason, so I'm just allowing you to take heed and I left you- eurgh!"

With a yelp Jane snatched her hand away from his mouth as he sloppily licked it, the roughness of his tongue briefly swiping the sensitive skin of the palm of her hand. Snorting she shoved the laughing troll away from her with a push to the chest.

"Well, Bugger you, then!" Jane swatted playfully at him again and the lanky troll nimbly pranced backwards out of range, a sharp-toothed flashing across his painted face. Jane couldn't help the feeling of relief at his merriment; she had felt a pang of worry that he might react to Roxy's presence negatively though apparently her worry had all been for naught.

"As I was saying," She fixed Gamzee with a mock glare as she wiped her saliva-slathered hand on her shirt, "She's going to be venturing over here and I'm going to be spending the afternoon with her. But I left you some food in the fridge, since I know you already have a habit of raiding it. Also I want you to eat more since you're still a bit too bony."

"Yeah, go and get all pale diamonds with that pink kitty of yours," Gamzee said, his eyes half-lidded, "Ain't good for a sweet lil' Maid like you to all up and burn any pile time with your mother fuckin' best friends. I'm all down with you venturin' with that sneaky lil' elixir sis after all this harsh that come down on you before because of some mirthless mother fucker who got his burn on you. Worse pale paps you can get your feel on with, I suppose. I'll get outta your way and we can get our chill on with each other real motherfuckin' soon elsewhere."

"Alright, as long as you know; I just didn't want you getting...spooked by her; as you said, Roxy can be dastardly sneaky when she wants to be."

Gamzee gave her another toothy smile, "As long as it ain't that fucker who made your gander bulbs leak something fierce I'm all good."

Jane's own smile dropped and she glanced away from him, instead studying the dishes in the sink, "No, he's not going to be visiting. I'm still not overly fond of him at the moment. I'll deal with that...issue, later."

Gaze averted as it was, Jane missed the vicious expression that flitted Gamzee's face along with his sclera's briefly flashing a poisonous crimson. When she looked back at him his expression was almost pensive, horned head cocked to the side. When he noticed her watching him he gave her another smile which she couldn't help but return; she always found his crooked grins endearing, regardless of the long fangs housed within.

Abruptly he stepped right up next to her and bent down, giving her a swift, sloppy kiss on the lips.

"Naw, don't go worry that pretty lil' thinkpan of yours; you'll get that crushed-up stardust all sorted out with that motherfucker or he'll have to answer to me if he makes any blasphemous noise that makes you all up and cry again," Gamzee's voice dropped a pitch, becoming raspier and more foreboding. 

Jane just waved a hand, ignoring the stinging of her eyes as she answered, "It's alright, Gamzee. If Jake makes me cry again you have my permission to...growl at him, or leave horns in his shoes. But as it is, I'm hoping to deal with some of that...noise with Roxy today."

"Sure thing, my lifey-est of lil' star monkeys."

She arched an inquisitive eyebrow at the grinning troll; With a snort and another kiss Gamzee flash-stepped away from her, a blur of lanky purple as he vanished from the kitchen without a sound, leaving her leaning against the bench with a befuddled expression on her face.

Bemused Jane touched a fingertip to her lips, feeling the stickiness of his facepaint upon her skin.

"A _star monkey?_ "

\----

After that goodbye Jane went back up to her room, fetching a fresh pair of jeans and a light blue shirt before going to the bathroom. A good scrub in the shower ensured she washed away any last traces of icing and paint, and she stepped out feeling raw and fresh before toweling herself dry. She threw her clothes on before hunting out her pair of sturdy old boots, ignoring the droplets of water falling from her still-wet hair as she tied up the boots laces.

Another quick check of her sylladex to make sure the tupperware of cookies hadn't randomly vanished and she set off back downstairs, checking the hallway clock as she passed. She briefly thought about cleaning up the dishes from her cooking session but a brisk knocking at the door caught her attention; she'd clean that mess up later. First she had a friend to greet.

Barely a second passed after Jane opened the door before she had an excited Lalonde latched onto her, nearly bowling her back over onto the living room carpet. Jane let out a startled yelp and instinctively seized Roxy's shoulders, tottering backwards as she struggled to keep her balance.

Eventually they broke the hug, Roxy tottering backwards with a broad grin on her face as the Rogue looked her up and down with her eyebrows waggling, "Hey Janey, you're looking pretty damn fine; had a good fortnight alone with the clown, hmmm?"

Jane flushed slightly, "Hush, you! I didn't ask you to come all the way over here so we can gossip like hens-"

"Oh come on, like if that isn't some seriously good-"

Jane made a frustrated noise, cutting Roxy off, "Look, I'll discuss that with you later, but I really do believe we need to address some serious issues between us first."

The amusement on Roxy's face vanished, leaving her expression confused, "Well alright. If you think we got some shit to sort out, then lets do it. I dunno what, though."

Her face twisting slightly, Jane took Roxy's hand and lead her off the porch, making her way out to the desolate land with Roxy allowing herself to be pulled along. As they walked across the rocky ground Jane tried to figure how just how to tackle the whole tangled mess between them.

Roxy meanwhile seemed more than content to follow Jane, stepping closer and looping her arm through Jane's as they traversed across the rocky crags until they came to the top of one of the nearby cliffs. There Jane sat down a few yards from the jagged edge with Roxy following suit; the height gave them a vast view of the neighbouring landscape though it was mostly just jagged chasms, gigantic dead bones and the occasional colourful seed pod floating past.

Jane glanced back down towards her house, far away enough she couldn't make out the details but close enough to feel secure. That was something she always had with her house; feeling safe and normal whenever she was inside, like a normal teenage girl worry about mundane things like having the latest Betty Crocker cookbook and the happenings with the latest celebrities. Not one trapped in a horrible game on a dead land full of walking skeletal monsters and mass graves.

Shifting awkwardly Jane snuck a sideways look at Roxy; the Rogue still had her arm threaded through hers and was leaning comfortably against her side, seemingly fine with just being in Jane's company. Her body heat seeped through the fabric of Jane's shirt, a welcoming change to the constant coldness of Gamzee's body temperature. Roxy caught Jane's eye and raised an eyebrow, causing the Maid to pull her arm from Roxy's and shuffled around, so she was sitting face-to-face with her. Now or never.

Taking a breath Jane began to speak, the words feeling like acid in her mouth and shame burning her face, "Actually...I wanted to apologize for what I said to you a few weeks ago. About my callous comment about you being better when you were drinking."

Roxy's smile completely faded, her expression becoming serious, "Yeah but you said sorry even in the middle of your freak out. Besides it wasn't really that bad."

"No, what I said was completely horrible and we both know it," Jane said, a lump in her throat, "It was just horrible."

"Janey..."

Jane shook her head, averting her gaze from Roxy as she said, "I'm so sorry. I never should have said such things about your drinking, how you were somehow 'better' when you were drunk. It was a problem and you worked so hard on your own to overcome it while I was too transfixed by my own personal issues and selfish reasons to help you with it. I've been a terrible friend."

Roxy tried to take her hand but Jane pulled away, shame burning tallow hot through her body as she began to hunch into herself, "Even before we started playing this awful monstrosity of a Game I was horrible to you about your drinking problem. I either treated you like an idiot or attacked you about your drinking; I thought myself so high and mighty lecturing you about it. Calling you drunky or telling you to sober up, like it was just an on-off switch you could just bloody well flip as you liked. Like I was somehow better than you whenever I started scolding you about being drunk. I would just say 'you'll come around' or act all snotty whenever you tried to bother me while you were intoxicated." 

Jane's hands were clenched into tightly into the fabric of her jeans as she shifted, jaw clenched so hard her jaw ached. She ignore Roxy's attempts to pry her hands out of their iron grip on the fabric, the Rogue making a frustrated noise as Jane refused to budge.

Moving closer Roxy shifted until she was kneeling forward, fingers gripping Jane's shoulders and forcing the Maid to look at her.

"Hey, _hey!_ " Roxy barked in such a forceful tone Jane couldn't help but wince, "Janey, you shut that piehole right now, missy-"

"No. I need to say this. Otherwise it will be like the whole kerfuffle with Jake where I'll just bottle it up then scream and wind up saying something completely shitty." 

Roxy shrugged, "Nah, Jake needed a good screaming at. He's kinda been all douche lately, so here's hoping you yahooing at him will get his head outta his tight, muscled-"

Gagging, Jane quickly said, "Eurrrgh, please for the love of God do not finish that sentence."

Flashing her a wicked grin Roxy shuffled closer towards her, fingers easing from their bruising grip, "Alright I'll stop. But as long as you promise me you're gonna stop whipping yourself over what you said. Yeah it was pretty shitty but I've said loads of shitty things as well. I mean, I even tried to blow your face off."

"I'm sturdy; all it did was knock me out the window-" Jane tried to say, falling silent when Roxy shook her slightly.

"Yeah still, trying to blow your bestie up is a lot worse than blurting out something crappy in the middle of a totes justified rage."

"It still doesn't excuse what I said," Jane muttered.

"Ugh! Okay look, let's make a deal; I'll totally forgive you for what you said if you give me the down low on what happened with you and our residential domestically clownie, mkay?"

Jane considered that before managing a watery smile at her friend, wiping at her eyes as she did so, "Okay. But you have to promise if I try to say anything like what I blurted out before you will wallop me one. Or throw something."

Roxy gave her a roguish grin as she released Jane, "Deal." 

"Alright so- Oh! I nearly forgot, I made these for you, as another part of my apology," Without pause Jane decapchalogued the tupperware of cookies she'd baked earlier.

A bright gleam appeared in Roxy's eyes and she eagerly snatched the container off Jane's lap, shifting so she was sitting cross-legged on the rocky ground. She yanked the lid off so quickly she nearly sent it flying and Jane smiled as Roxy began to eat one of the cat-head shaped cookies, pink icing quickly smearing her lips. The Rogue managed to demolish four of the cookies before she slowed down, licking the icing off her lips and the tips of her fingers.

"Fuck, I could like gladly die suffocatin' on these things like holy shit," 

Jane couldn't help the pleased flush that warmed her face as she smiled; regardless of how often it happened she always felt so giddy and happy whenever someone complimented her baking.

"I'm glad I could be of use; though having to carry your corpse to your quest bed would certainly make today very awkward and I wanted to spend some quality time with my best friend. Not a corpse."

"Daww, Janey."

"But truly, I've had enough with dealing with corpses of my friends and decapitated heads lately," She complained, "I just want some normal time conversing with you."

Across from her Roxy nodded, swallowing down the last of the current cookie she was munching on. Shaking some crumbs from her shirt Roxy said, "Alright then, let's converse away. First part of the business; you and the residential clownie. Hmm, now there's a story."

Jane awkwardly cleared her throat, "Alright. Fire away."

Roxy gave her a sly look that promised trouble. However rather than inquiring about intimate details right away like she assumed, to Jane's relief Roxy started out somewhere simple and easy.

"...He do any clownie things?

Jane threw her hands up in the air, exasperated, "What in tarnation is clownie things? He wears facepaint. He's able to juggle to an extent as my unfortunate dishes found out, he certainly talks about tents and carnivals quite often-"

"Maybe he's like...I dunno, the Condesce's personal clown?" Roxy interrupted, "Like you know, how those old human courts would have fools? Match his outfit."

"He isn't a fool!" The words snapped out of her before Jane could stop them, causing Roxy to start. With a sigh, Jane slumped forward, forearms braced along her legs as she grimaced, "Sorry...I just don't want to talk along those lines. I'm relatively certain he is not beholden to the Batterwitch and our entire relationship isn't some ulterior fabrication made simply to mock me."

Roxy winced, "Shit, sorry. Didn't mean to imply he's like a...a honey trap sent by Fishhitler who's gonna go Henry on your ass. For fucks sake, me of all people shouldn't be trying to bitch you out over your respective romance shit. I mean holy shit, you've got the most stable relationship outta all of us. You've certainly beat me out in terms of actually having someone interested in your ass."

"I'm sure you'll find someone-"

With a disgusted snort Roxy cut her off, "Yeah you and I both know that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Least you had the sense not to fall for the totally gay dude which has just fucked me over in the romance department," Roxy muttered, her expression falling.

"Oh, Roxy, that wasn't your fault-"

The Rogue cut her off again, this time with a sharp gesture, "Nah, it kinda was. Well, not at first but I kept on pushing it and pushing it even when he turned me down the first dozen times. Like, to the point he started feeling fucking _bad_ about not being into me. How shitty a friend am I? Like, hitting on him so much he felt fucking bad about it. I'm pretty shit, so no wonder no one wants me."

Leaning forward Jane tugged Roxy towards her, wrapping her arms around the Rogue's shoulders and drawing her into a tight hug, scolding, "You stop that. I will not hear any slander against you- even from yourself. You're a wonderful person and friend. So you lucked out by being romantically inclined towards someone with, erm, incompatible orientation? There's still these other players we have to meet! And who knows what's going to occur when we beat this Game? Hopefully there will actually be...more people once we win so it's not just the four of us."

"It still sucks."

"Alright, mayhaps we can agree we've all been acting fairly frivolous and daft lately?"

Roxy grumbled something against her throat, having all but crawled onto Jane's lap at this point, the tupperware forgotten to the side. Jane didn't mind, instead running her hand through Roxy's hair and humming quietly. 

That was a thing Jane was slowly coming aware of; despite both Dirk's and Roxy's isolationist upbringing both had vastly difference preferences for contact and touch. Dirk on one hand seemed to be fine with holing himself up and not speaking to anyone for days on end. Even in person he did not like any kind of contact; he would typically back away if anyone got too close and never tried to touch anyone first unless it was absolutely necessary. Roxy meanwhile obviously relished human contact, with ample hugging, jostling and touching whenever she was around her friends.

Jane felt a spike of guilt for her brief isolation stint the weeks before; Roxy had grown up completely alone and unlike Dirk she obviously didn't like long stretches of being alone or without communication.

Roxy starting to move stirred Jane from her musings, the Rogue shifting so she was sitting next to Jane, flush up against her side. Roxy kept her head resting on Jane's shoulder and the Maid wrapped an arm around her.

"Ah shit, sorry here's me getting all 'wah my love life is garbage' when we're supposed to be talkin' about you and that piece of alien ham you hooked up with," Roxy mumbled, toying with the hem of her sleeve.

"He isn't a ham."

"Really? 'Cause with a getup like the one he's sporting he's obviously a bit weird you know? Not like that's bad or anything," Roxy reassured her hastily.

Jane shrugged, not that bothered, "He is a bit daunting, granted. He also reacts so oddly to just basic things, normal _human_ things."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"A few things- like his reaction to utensils; like even a simple fork and knife. It's as if he had no idea what he was supposed to do with them. There was also the terrible incident with my rubber duck in the bathroom. I even showed him my great, great grandpa's Daunting Text and he completely lost his mind; that reaction was so adorable," Jane knew she was nearly gushing at this point but wasn't self-conscious enough to care.

"Seems like he makes you happy," Roxy said, a wicked glint in her eyes.

"Well, I suppose. He's endearing enough, when I can understand his odd alien slang and when he isn't eating everything he can get his hands on. That last one I'm not complaining about; I've been trying to make him eat more, skinny mite that he is. But honestly he can be such an oddball at times."

"Pretty sure Gamzee would be weird even by troll standards. Also, how come he told you his name?" Roxy complained, reaching out to pick up another one of the cat-head cookies, saying, "He never spoke or introduced himself to us. Only you."

Jane shrugged, "I'm not sure why. I tried asking him, but he can be a wily thing when he wants to be. I don't believe he lies to me- I just think he genuinely doesn't want me to know some things about him. I can understand; I have some personal issues I do not want him knowing."

"Yeah," Roxy agreed as she leaned against Jane further, her hair tickling Jane's nose as the Rogue peered up at her, "Soooo..."

She leaned back slightly, face flushing at the mischievous expression on her friend's face, "What?"

Roxy gave her wicked grin, "How was he?"

Flustered Jane jumped to her feet, dislodging Roxy and making the Rogue fall back onto the rocky ground with a grunt. Blushing furiously Jane walked a few feet away, teeth biting into her bottom lip before blurting out, "I'm not going to- that is very private, Roxy!"

"Oh come ooooon Janey! You're the only one outta us who's said 'fuck you' to the v card- and like literally in your case," Roxy said, staggering up to her feet. She capchalogued the tupperware with barely a glance before trailing after Jane, "Like, at least be vague if you really wanna. He's a legit clown alien, so like come on, throw me a bone."

"Well, didn't you grow up in troll culture? So you should have a general idea on 'how he was'."

"Kinda? But not like on the sex angle- I mean I know the bitchfish hated human reproducing hella madly for some reason so I guess trolls ain't all human downstairs."

If possible Jane's face went even redder, along with an odd sensation of growing smugness, "Oh very well. I can confirm he...erm, doesn't exactly go along with typical human...um..."

Roxy sidled closer to Jane, expression eager and eyes sparkling mischievously as she asked, "So what? Is he just like a mix-mash of your average pussy and dong, or did you yank those purple pants off and it was like Call of Cthulhu downstairs?"

"Roxy!" Despite her scandalized gasp Jane couldn't help but burst into giggles immediately afterwards, clutching onto a grinning Roxy's arm, "I can assure you there was nothing of the sort- well alright so there was a tentacle-like appendage and something similar to my own anatomy-"

"Oh my _god_ , Janey," Roxy's expression was completely impressed and Jane felt such an odd sense of pride to elicit such a strong reaction, "Like not only you got someone to mack on but he's got a fucking tentacle dick? Jesus shit, you totally got the ace in your sex life."

"I said nothing of the sort! But yes, I guess he has one of those."

Both the teenagers burst into hapless giggles, Roxy playfully shoving Jane's shoulder. Smiling, the Maid absentmindedly fixed her crocked glasses, feeling a lot better having cleared some things up with her friend. She felt completely content and happy in that moment; she felt _normal_. Gossiping with her best friend about her boyfriend and romance.

And then everything suddenly _glitched_ , as if the landscape blurred and shimmered slightly, pixels bursting on the edges of her vision and causing her to stop.

Confused Jane looked around, watching as the deep grey skies of her land flickered, becoming a stark white briefly before switching back. She turned to ask Roxy if she saw it, only to jump when she realized Roxy, now clad in her Godtier clothing, was suddenly right in front of her, eyes clenched shut with a horrible smile on her face.

It was then Jane realized she was suddenly holding onto a thick trident with both hands, hand clenching so hard on the crimson-coloured metal her fingers were aching. However what really drew her horrified stare was the fact the three sharp prongs of the trident were sunk deep into Roxy's chest, almost to the base of the fork. Blood slowly oozed from the puncture holes, steadily staining Roxy's blue shirt.

Choking on her breath, Jane tried to yank the weapon back but to her horror found herself completely frozen to the spot. Her hands were clenched around the trident's hilt, nails digging into the unyielding metal. Glancing down at herself Jane noted almost disjointedly she was also clad in her Godtier outfit; however rather than the earthy hues she was used to the fabric was a vibrant scarlet while the curling Life symbol upon her chest was stark white.

Roxy let out a demented cackle, dragging Jane's attention away from her own body. Blood dripped slowly from Roxy's lips and stained her chin in red rivulets. With a grunt the Rogue grabbed onto the trident hilt, dragging herself closer to Jane and impaling herself deeper on the prongs. Her eyelids flickered opened and Jane flinched; instead of Roxy's usual vibrant pink irises her eyes were a glazed-over milky white as if she were blind. 

The Rogue smiled at Jane, bloodied teeth bared in a nightmarish grin, "Aw Janey, don't look away! We're the bestest of besties aren't we?" 

Jane felt her gorge rise as Roxy used her other hand to touch the prongs of the trident, fingers rapidly staining with her own blood, "Don't feel so bad! So you murdered your best friend, who hasn't?" Roxy said in a sing-song voice, her blank eyes boring into Jane's, "Well, actually you've killed two of your friends! You gave Jake quite a stabbing, you remember that part? Or not, 'cause you know how memories can be. Hey, maybe we should get Dirk, so you can have the whole set!"

With a snarl Jane managed to rip her hands away from the trident, stumbling back from her grinning dead friend. The trident however remained in place, still embedded deep in Roxy's chest. Her friend waved her hand, droplets of blood flying from her fingertips as she spoke,"Or hey, maybe you can go kill my mother while you're at it! You know, get the one-two punch? Isn't that a good title; Jane Crocker; slayer of Lalonde's," Roxy started cackling again at that; this time however she stopped partway through, her laughter turning onto wet gurgles as she started hacking up blood.

Backing away further Jane watched with wide eyes as Roxy's whole body began to wildly distort, the trident dropping from her thrashing body and sinking into the ground like melted wax. Even as Jane stared everything began to warp, the ground of her desolate land twisting and morphing into a land with forests surrounded by boiling pits of lava. Stumbling back, Jane realized she was standing on what looked like the shattered remains of a immensely long building, lying broken and cracked in the molten rock.

Above her she could see burning debris raining from the sky like meteors and what looked like a gigantic cracked planet drifting past. Jane's breath quickened as panic and confusion rose within her, along with a terrible certainty something completely horrific had occurred. A sharp, pinching sensation in her front caused her to grunt; she looked down at her chest and impaled through her was one of Dirk's swords.

Gagging she slumped forward, handing on her hands and knees as she started hacking up blood, the thick coppery taste clogging her throat. More blood spilled from the wound on her chest, splattering the white tiles she was leaning over and staining her hands the same colour as her clothes.

A thick, wet tearing noise pulled Jane's attention away from her own bleeding, wounded body and Jane watched with horrified fascination as Roxy's body warped and shifted into the intimately familiar form of Gamzee. The troll's body looked as if it had been sheared in half, from crown to groin, with thick ropes of organs and tendons spilling out of the split as thick purple blood splattered all over the tiles below him. 

Then the two split halves of Gamzee began to furl outwards like the petals of a rotten flower and some gangly green _thing_ clawed its way forth from the troll's twitching offal.

The creature pinned her with a red-eyed glare, the sheer hateful intensity causing her to flinch back. Her hand slid in the pool of her blood and she fell to the side, hacking loudly as the gremlin-like creature scuttled out of Gamzee's sliced open corpse, kicking aside one half of the troll's body.

A sudden horrendous pain in her left hand caused her to shriek, looking down and crying out in panic as her left hand from the wrist up suddenly peeled away, flesh, bone and tendons spilling down from the stump like a mass of stringy red maggots.

She was so preoccupied with throbbing, burning pain in the jagged stump where her hand was supposed to be it wasn't until the rainbow colours flashing at the edge of her vision grew so strong she was forced to squint did she finally tear her gaze away from her missing hand and up into the face of some gigantic monster standing before her, towering over her in a mass of muscle, green and gold.

All she could really see was a great lime-coloured coat, hem flashing every colour of the rainbow and pair of malicious eyes watching her before the huge skull-like jaw opened and there was a horrific blast of blinding white then _nothing-_

Within the Subjugglators flagship Jane jerked awake, a scream caught in her throat.


	20. The fin of frondship

compassionateCephalopod [CC] has opened memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CC: Alright buoys and gulls, it has recently come to my attention we have sufishfully been conchtacted by our long lost fellow game players!  
CC: 38)  
CC: This would usually be a WOND-ERFUL turn of tides! We now have PROOF they survived and we can speak with them once again! After all, it was due to them we even got this second wave.  
CC: Or third wave 'cause we fucked up so much. Waterver.  
CC: )(OW-EV-ER Karcrab seemed to think it perfect fin that H-E be the one to open communications w them. 38/  
CC: Which has lead to a complete clusterglub with the potential alliances w the humans and now they hake us.  
CC: For fuck's sake. 3>8(  
  
cantankerousGuanine [CG] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CG: 9H N9 Y9U D9N'T! Y9U D9N'T GET T9 LAY ALL THIS SHIT 9N ME, HE STARTED ALL 9F IT WITH HIS SELF RIGHTE9US 6ITCHING. #J9HN DID IT. #G9 RAGE AT HIM.  
CC: Whale I AM blaming you! Nomoby else spoke to them! John conchtacted you FIRST which means you had the duty of being our ambassador!  
CC: For cods sake, don't you remember what happened LAST TIM-E you did the 'attack the humans because durr hurr' tactfish?!   
CC: W-E ALL DI-ED.  
CG: FIRST 9FF I WAS N9T AWARE S9ME 9F Y9U FUCKS WERE SCREWING AR9UND 6EHIND THE SCENES AND R9YALLY SCREWED US ALL 9VER. LUCKILY EN9UGH THAT ISN'T AN ISSUE RIGHT N9W S9 THE FACT I RAMMED MY F99T IN MY M9UTH ISN'T THAT 6AD 9F A REPERCUSSI9N F9R MY LESS THAN STELLAR PERF9RMANCE IN ALIEN DIPL9MACY. MY M9ST 6L99D PUSHER FELT 9F AP9L9GIZES, Y9UR R9YAL FISHNESS. #FUCKING SPARE ME.   
CC: I am TOTALLY blaming you!  
CC: You swam out there looking for a fight!  
CG: I DID N9T. IT'S MY FAULT JOHN D6CID6D T9 THR9W A T6MP6R TANTRUM AT M6 LIKE A FUCKING WIGGL6R.  
CC: )(ey, I've read that interaction and you started off with terribubble manners and accusations then you and John started carpin' at each other and throwing fits!  
CC: We had the opperchtunaty to reconcile with our long lost game players after finally getting conchfinmation they're alive, and now all this happened and now we're floundering aboat with the humans hating us!  
CC: Like T)(-E LAST FUCKING TIM-E, COD.  
CG: ):B  
CC: 3>8(  
  
granulationAether [GA] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
GA: Wait, s♀ we have c♀ntacted the humans  
GA: I was unaware S♀llux had shifted his pri♀rity t♀ this  
GA: I th♀ught it was unanim♀us that we sh♀uld n♀t waste res♀urces ♀n this- h♀wever we may wish it ♀therwise -due t♀ the highly likely p♀tential they were res♀rted in a different reality than ♀urselves, a decisi♀ns made sweeps ag♀  
GA: But apparently that is n♀t the case n♀w  
CG: S9LLUX WASN'T 6EHIND THIS; J9HN C9NTACTED ME AND I ASSUME S9ME9NE M9RE TECH SAVVY MANAGED T9 L9CATE US SINCE J9HN WAS SHIT WITH THAT STUFF 6ACK THEN.  
CG: TH9UGH I HAVE N9 IDEA H9W THE FUCK THEY MANAGED IT. NATURALLY S9LLUX IS FLIPPING HIS FUCKING PAN TRYING T9 FIGURE IT 9UT 6UT AT LEAST WE KN9W IT WASN'T THE EMPIRE SNIFFING UP 9UR N99KS A69UT IT.  
CG: 6UT YEAH, WE'VE MET UP WITH THE HUMANS AGAIN, LIKE LAST TIME.  
CC: More like they conchtacted us first. 38/  
CC: Then Krabcatch got all crappy as usual.  
CG: THAT IS S99999 N9T WHAT HAPPENED. #EXAGGERATE MUCH, FEF.  
CC: Lol, watever! I read that it was just like 'oh yeah you're all dying, DWI'.  
CG: 9KAY, N9W WH9'S 6EING A RUDE LITTLE 6EACH? #G9TCHA.  
CC: 38)  
GA: H♀nestly y♀u tw♀, this d♀es n♀t seem the time f♀r glibness  
CC: Uuuuuugh, fin. Cod forbid I pun w my morayeel.  
CC: Not that you'd know what that's like.  
CC: 'Cause you not having one and all lmfao.  
  
garroteConstance [GC] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
GC: Qu1t 1t you two >8[  
GC: Th3 1llustr1ous scuttleb34st h4s bl3ss3d us w1th m4gnific3nt n3ws from h1s m1ghty scuttl3hol3. >8]  
CG: CAN Y9U SWEAR T9 NEVER FUCKING CALL ANY PART 9F MY 69DY A 'SCUTTLEH9LE' EVER AGAIN. #LIKE FUCKING SHIT, TEREZI. #ST9P TALKING A69UT MY P9TENTIAL H9LES.  
GC: N3v3r.   
GC: >8] >8]  
GA: Mayhaps we can return t♀ the much m♀re pressing issue at hand  
GA: N♀tably the fact we have enc♀untered ♀ur l♀ng l♀st fell♀w Sgrub players and Karkat s♀meh♀w managed t♀ instil h♀stility in his first interacti♀n with them  
GA: Again  
CC: Fuck off, shore he stuck his foot in it and made this a clusterglub per usual but at least we now have proof the humans are w us!  
CC: And probably like mad recall to his first ineraction w John which was all spades anywaves.  
CG: Y9U JUST *HAD* T9 6RING THAT UP. #FUCKING SWEEPS AG9.  
CC: Lol you love it. 3;)  
CC: But yeah Kanaya, he didn't even go overboard it was prob just like old times so fuck off.  
GA: S♀ ign♀ring all the p♀tential pr♀blems with that t♀ thr♀w diam♀nds at each ♀ther is the m♀re appr♀priate resp♀nse, is it  
CC: Oh forgive me if I'm not gonna take socially acceptable behaviour advice from you.  
GC: TH3 FUCK D1D 1 JUST S4Y?! >8[  
GC: Stop b31ng l1ttl3 sh1ts, sh33sh.  
CG: LIKE YEAH, ST9P WITH THE SNIPING Y9U TW9.   
CC: I FUCKED UP AND WE ALL KN9W IT. FUCK, I HAVE N9 IDEA WHY I G9T S9 DEFENSIVE AT J9HN AND CAME 9UT ACTING LIKE SUCH A RAGING 6ULGEFUCKER. UGH, Y9U'D THINK I LEARNED THAT 6ASIC SHIT, WHAT FR9M THE FIRST TIME WE SP9KE AND THE SU6SEQUENT FUCKING SWEEPS 6ETWEEN ME ACTING LIKE SUCH A S9CIALLY-FUCKED N99K. #DAMNIT. #IT'S LIKE I'VE LEARNED N9THING S9METIMES.  
  
animaChimera [AC] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
AC: (◞‸◟) That is one mental image I did not wish to s33.  
CG: WHATEVER, I C9MPLETELY FUCKED UP. SAME AS LAST TIME. #I'M SHIT AT INTR9DUCTI9NS. #AND REUNI9NS. #G9T A FUCKING MISSING HAND T9 PR9VE IT.  
GA: I d♀ubt it was that bad  
CG: DID Y9U EVEN READ THE WH9LE EXCHANGE? IT WAS A FUCKING SHIP WRECK FR9M START T9 FINISH. FIRST I WAS YELLING A69UT H9W I WAS G9ING T9 KILL HIM, THEN IT WAS KINDA ALRIGHT LIKE WE WERE ACTUALLY FRIENDS AND 69NDING 9VER ALL THE H9RRI6LE SHIT WE WENT THR9UGH THEN DEATH THREATS, ACCUSATI9NS, C9UNTER ACCUSATI9NS. FUCK ME.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Reading over that exchange I must admit you completely fucked up, Karkat.  
CC: YOU S-EA?? 38(  
AC: (◞‸◟) Also I make note you so considerately mentioned them eliminating the Condesce kills us all and thus saves them.  
CG: IT JUST FUCKING CAME V9MITING 9UT, 9KAY?!  
CG: J9HN WANTED T9 KN9W WHY WE HADN'T ASSASSINATED THE C9NDESCE'S 69NY ASS ALREADY AND I JUST 6LURTED IT 9UT. AT FIRST I TH9UGHT IT MEANT HE W9ULD UNDERSTAND 6UT HE JUST G9T REALLY ANGRY WITH ME AND T9LD ME T9 FUCK 9FF. #I WAS KINDA FREAKING 9UT.  
  
canteringTorricellian [CT] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CT: |)=> Considering how gracefully you presented yourself it's little wonder the whole exchange ended on such a bitter hoof.  
GC: Oh for fucks s4k3 you lot 1t w4sn't th4t b4d! So th3r3 w4s som3 d34th thr34ts 4nd 4 sh1tlo4d of m4l3 r4g3 b31ng pl4st3r3d all ov3r th3 pl4c3 1n sm34rs of ch3rry and blu3 bubbl3gum?  
CG: Not l1ke th4t h4sn't h4pp3n3d b3for3, h3h3h3.   
CT: |)=> True, though it seems to me Vantas went out of his way to stirrup hostility with the human.  
GA: Yes, y♀u did seem to g♀ int♀ that c♀nversation l♀♀king f♀r a fight  
GA: And c♀nsidering J♀hn's heavy threat at the end we must find a way t♀ remedy the rift y♀u caused  
AC: (◞‸◟) Agr33d.  
CC: Whale we've already altered course towards the docks where the humans blew their conch at.  
CC: At least, as long as Sollux knows where the fuck it is. 38/  
  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
TA: fuck♊ng sh♊t, relax   
TA: ψeah ♊'ve g0t where theψ are; a♊nt even that hard, just tracked d0wn the s♊gnal  
TA: kinda suc♊puusous actuallψ  
CG: THE FUCK KIND 9F W9RD IS THAT.  
TA: susp♊c♊0us.  
TA: fuck ψ0u ♊f my m♊nd is k♊nda pre0ccup♊ed ab0ut the fact all 0f us stup♊d fucks c0uld d♊e anyt♊me s00n cause what u v0m♊ted 0ut l♊ke s0me th♊nkpan fr♊ed fuckbucket  
GC: H3h3h3h3!  
  
absoluteArapawa [AA] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
AA: yeah well outta all of us i think you'd be used to gettin screamed to death XD  
TA: gett♊ng glubbed t0 death was fuck♊n horr♊ble   
TA: als0 the state 0f the fl00r afterwards ehehe  
AC: (◞‸◟) I wonder if it would feel and/or be different since it is not attached to a Horrorterror this time but the Empress.   
CT: |)=> Indeed, you raise a valid point. How fast e%actly could the Glub occur if the Condesce sounds it during her death neighs?   
CC: Like watever, I would rather not find out what happened!  
CC: As as we're on course to their planet that's good. Though who the fuck knows if we'll swim there in time, since John was right.  
GC: 4bout wh4t >8?  
CC: The fact they have the highest chance of killing that evil beotch- they beat that game where we crashed and sunk twice over.  
AA: lol we kinda sucked didnt we? :D   
  
archedictyonTyphoon [AT] has responded to memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
AT: 1 tH1NK 1t wAS a l1TTLE b1T mORE cOMPL1CATED tHAN tHAT,   
AA: truth; considering i was like plotting to kill all you guys. one of me anyway :)   
AT: uGGGH, tHIS aGAIN,  
AA: lie all u want bull boy you laughed at some parts!  
AT: hOW dARE yOU, };)  
GA: Can we g♀ back t♀ the matter at hand and st♀p dragging up the past   
GA: Namely the issue with the humans and h♀w they intend t♀ kill the C♀ndesce   
CT: |)=> Personal well being and life aside, it is a logical stance they have taken; removing her from the herd kills the rest at pasture and sees their safety and longevity.   
CT: |)=> And Karkat certainly made that abundantly clear to them.   
CT: |)=> Also his obno%ious braying would likewise drag up negative memories of their interaction with us and further convince them this is the best course of action.   
CG: FUCK 9FF ZAHHAK. #ZAHHAK USES L9GIC. #ALL THE L9GIC. #ALL 9F IT.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Fuck off yourself!   
TA: th♊s d♊dnt take l0ng   
AA: HA!   
CC: WOULD YOU LOT STOW IT?!   
CC: This is searious!   
CC: Regardless of how I may hake you lot and want to give you a good fucking forking every now and then it would be terribubble if the Vast Glub happened!   
AT: yEAH nOT tO mENT1ON hOW 1T wOULD sMELL aFTER a wHILE hA hA.   
AT: bUT wHAT aRE wE gOING tO dO aBOUT 1T?   
AT: 1 dON'T tHINK tHEY'LL wANT tO tALK tO uS aFTER wHAT kARKAT sA1D aBOUT tELLING tHEM tO jUST s1T aROUND aND d1E.   
CG: I DIDN'T SAY THAT! JUST MENTI9NED H9W THE EMPIRE 6EING F9CUSED 9N A DIFFERENT TARGET THAN US MEANT IT GAVE US MORE 6REATHING R99M. #IT'S THE FUCKING TRUTH, DAMNIT.   
GA: You actually said that   
GA: All the sh♀utp♀les and th♀ughtn♀♀dles   
GC: Uuuuuugggghhhhh. >8[  
TA: ehehe he sa♊d ♊t all r♊ght. john hurled ♊t r♊ght back at h♊m. ♊ts just l♊ke l0ads of rage and swear♊ng  
AA: Fakku no sake karkat no baai! >:(  
CG: CAN'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND Y9U MEGID9! LALALALALA! FUCK Y9U F9R TRYING T9 LECTURE ME A69UT CRAP MANNERS; LIKE Y9U WEREN'T A C9LL9SAL CRAZY SHIT AT THE START 9F IT ALL! #LAY 9FF. #FUCKING ANGRY-ASS W99L6EASTS.   
CT: |)=> Enough of this uncolt braying.   
CT: |)=> Yes Karkat fucked up with our interspecies relations; now we must find a way to heal this source of nickering before it results in us being put down by pro%y.   
AC: (◞‸◟) My moirail is correct.   
AC: (◞‸◟) We need to stop accusing each other of alienating our previous allies and find a way to remedy this.   
AC: (◞‸◟) How do you propose we fix this? Or at least convince John and the other humans to stall their attack on the Condesce.   
AC: (◞‸◟) Because he is right; they have the highest chance of succeeding in killing her.   
AA: we should try talking to them first which shouldnt be hard cause sollux already has their handles :? i think.   
TA: ψeah ψeah ♊ g0t all that. theψ werent reallψ trψ♊ng t0 h♊de it, s0 ♊ve g0t them all s0 we can c0ntact them   
TA: maψbe talk them 0ut 0f k♊ll♊ng that uglψ b♊tch s0 we d0nt all get glubbed  
TA: 0nce was fuck♊n en0ugh let me tell ψ0u   
AT: 1 tHINK tHAT'S a rEALLY gOOD iDEA, mAYBE wE cAN dO a bETTER jOB gETTING tO kNOW tHEM tHAN lAST tIME, }:)   
GC: Y34h I th1nk th4t's 4 good pl4n! >8]   
GA: N♀ death threats   
GC: >8[   
CC: Okay so that is settled!   
CC: We'll try and glub with the humans, this time with porpoise!   
AA: so all love and hugs i assume   
CC: Ugh no, not gushing or anyfin. Just more like trying to remind them when we used to be fronds with each other, that we're shipmates.   
AT: sHOULD wE tRY aND pLAN wHO wE tALK tO? bECAUSE i cAN bARELY rEMEMBER iF aNY aCTUALLY lIKED mE,   
GA: I am uncertain- I guess I sh♀uld attempt t♀ ♀pen c♀mmunicati♀ns with R♀se since she was the cl♀set I was with ♀n the trip   
GA: H♀wever we d♀ n♀t know if J♀hn's resentful behavi♀ur is mirr♀red in his friends   
AA: we gotta try :(   
AC: (◞‸◟) But how do we proceed?   
AC: (◞‸◟) I can not even recall if I was familiar with any of them.   
CT: |)=> I believe you were familiar with one of the humans called Roxy. Interestingly enough, she also shares my aspect.   
CT: |)=> Hoofever that was as a sprite, same with my brief spiral into insanity as one, whom I was haltered to the Heart player while in that pasture.   
TA: ugh ♊'m saψ♊ng ♊t n0w- ♊m n0t speak♊ng t0 that dumbfuck human that was ♊n my face all the t♊me when ♊ was half f♊sh   
TA: that stup♊d l00king j0hnk♊nda 0ne but l♊ke waψ dumber   
CC: He wasn't that bad! At least I don't think so 38/ You're just being overboard.   
TA: 0h ♊m not- l♊ke fuck♊n sh♊t even a fuck♊n carapac♊an was a better damn c0nversat♊0nal♊st and i was tempted t0 bl0w mψself s0 ♊ d♊dnt have t0 l♊sten t0 h♊s garbage   
AA: lol so youll pull a karkat if you have to talk to him?   
CG: HEY!   
CC: Sollux, don't you glub at that person if you're just gonna be all snappy. 3>8(   
CC: Last thing we need is another carp up like Crabcatch did, fml.   
CG: L99K I FUCKED UP AND WE ALL KN9W IT. H9WEVER I'LL PR96A6LY FUCK THINGS UP WITH J9HN AGAIN IF I TRY SPEAKING WITH HIM. S9 I SUPP9SE I C9ULD TRY TALKING WITH R9SE 9R DAVE. I KINDA KNEW THEM F9R THE THREE SWEEPS WE WENT FUCKING MAD 9N THAT H9RRI6LE SHITTY N99KFUCKER R9CK. #GETTING FLASH6ACKS. #FUCKING *69RING* **69RING** FLASH6ACKS.   
CG: D9N'T REALLY KN9W THEIR DANCEST9RS THAT WELL. I JUST REMEM6ER 9NE MURDERING ME AND THAT WAS KINDA IT. #MAIDS.   
AA: pfffft what? when did that happen?   
CG: FUCK Y9U IT WASN'T FUNNY! IT WAS FREAKY AND HER SKIN WAS ALL FUCKED AND THERE WAS WEIRD-ASS CIRCUITS THINGS 9N HER! AND SHE KILLED ME AND IT HURT. A L9T. FIGURED Y9U 9F ALL PE9PLE W9ULD KN9W WHAT THAT FELT LIKE!   
AA: ooo some mad burn.   
AT: wAIT iS wHAT jOHN sAID iN hIS cONVO wITH yOU tRUE? tHAT hIS dANCESTOR wAS mATESPRITES wITH gAMZEE?   
GC: What? >8?   
AC: (◞‸◟) I find it hard to imagine that monster in any kind of caring relationship.   
CG: UGH, I D9N'T KN9W. THE WH9LE THING S9UNDS RIDICUL9US 6UT IT KINDA PUTS A L9T 9F THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE AND HINDSIGHT AS THEY SAY.   
GA: Especially his reacti♀n t♀ us ♀n the beach bef♀re we left Alternia   
AA: i told you to leave him alone >:(   
CG: WHY W9ULD Y9U EVEN CARE?   
AA: because i knew hed kick your asses! and he did cause you had to go start shit.   
CT: |)=> Enough. Snapping at each other is e%acerbating the issue.   
CT: |)=> I propose we simply approach whoever we deem the least explosive of confrontations and will result in friendly nickering.   
GC: St1ll f1nd 1t r34lly w31rd h3 hook3d up w1th 4 hum4n though.   
AA: well we cant ask her because she got abducted by the clowns, which was one of the reasons why john was so pissed with karkat   
CG: H9W THE FUCK WAS I SUPP9SED T9 KN9W THAT? IT'S N9T LIKE THAT CRAZY FUCKER EVER SP9KE T9 ME AFTER A WHILE. INSTEAD IT WAS JUST IGN9RE IGN9RE THEN HIM KILLING TEREZI AND EVERYTHING WENT T9 SHIT AND IT 6ECAME WAY T99 CR9WDED.   
GC: Would you g3t ov3r 1t? So 1 d13d. Who th3 fuck d1dn't.   
AA: preach  
AC: (◞‸◟) Are we going back to this again?   
GC: No. >8[   
GA: I d♀ believe bringing that up with the humans w♀uld be a s♀re subject at best   
GA: S♀ first I think we sh♀uld simply try t♀ rec♀ncile with ♀ur ♀ld c♀mpani♀ns and perhaps get to kn♀w their Dancest♀rs while we are at it   
CC: So that's settled! 38)   
CC: We'll glub to the other humans and try and befrond them! Hopefully that'll mean they're less likely to krill my asshoal Ancestors before I get to her 3>8(   
AT: hOPEFULLY wE'RE gONNA dO a bETTER jOB tHAN lAST t1ME hA hA };)   
AA: pfft we got no hope left! but seriously as long as theres less dying than last time   
AC: (◞‸◟) Very well. I shall think on who I will approach first.   
GC: Aw com3 on! Doubt th3y'll 3v3n r3cogn1z3 you 1f you k33p on mop1ng!   
CT: |)=> Shut up.   
GC: *Th3 l3g1sl4c3r4tor g1v3s no fucks 4t th3 snort1ng of th3 hoofb34st!*   
GC: *Inst34d she off3rs 4 cl4w to the d3spond3nt m3owb34st 1n hop3s of rol3pl4y!*   
AC: (◞‸◟) ...   
  
animaChimera [AC] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
GC: >8[   
CT: |)=> Stop harassing my moirail on this ridiculous matter! I do not care what the current state of our relationship is, you will not use her to to incite rage in me.   
GC: Sh1t, th4t wasn't what I w4s try1ng to do! Sh3's my fuck1ng fr13nd!   
GC: 4nd mayb3 I'm f3d up w1th s33ing h3r l1ke th1s all th3 t1m3?!   
AA: Kuso STUPID rokudenashi!! >:(   
CC: This isn't the fucking time, you dumb ships!   
CC: Carp at each other later but now isn't the place to bring it up!   
GC: Fuck1ng f1n3, 3xcus3 m3. >8[   
  
garroteConstance [GC] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
AA: fuck this just turned out grand   
GA: Reminds me ♀f h♀w we were the last time we c♀ntacted the humans   
GA: In fact we're d♀ing a l♀wer rati♀ ♀f screaming and raging than last time   
CT: |)=> Indeed. And considering Makara and Serket are no longer in our equations I do believe random bouts of culling won't be an issue in our herd.   
AA: haha i still wont bet on it   
CG: WELL AS L9NG AS WE D9N'T START MURDERING THEM 9R SH9VING THEIR F99T UP N99K LIKE I DID I D9N'T THINK ANY 9F Y9U CAN TRUMP H9W 6ADLY I SCREWED UP. #AGAIN.   
TA: f♊rst t♊me f0r everyth♊n kk   
CG: 9H UP Y9URS.   
CC: OKAY!   
CC: So we've settled this! We'll try and carp w the humans and be fronds with them!   
CC: And hopefully we'll show up before they kill the Condesce or it's reely likely the troll race will go extinct!   
CC: Again. 38/   
AA: cant be fucked dealing with that again to be honest.   
AA: ah but this is going to be like the good old days!   
  
absoluteArapawa [AA] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
TA: what anψ fuck♊n part 0f th0se daψs were g00d   
AT: hEY jUST tHINK oF iT tHIS wAY,   
AT: wE dON'T hAVE aNY oMINPOTENT eNEMIES tO fIGHT, iNSTEAD wE jUST gOT mOST oF tHE eMPIRE wHO wANT tO kILL uS,   
TA: h0w the fuck ♊s anψ 0f that c0mf0rt♊ng   
T: iT'S nOT, }:)   
  
archedictyonTyphoon [AT] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
TA: whψ d0 ♊ even b0ther l♊ke whψ   
CG: I HAVE N9 IDEA. I'M JUST HALF FURI9US AND PISSED 9FF FR9M THIS, S9 I'M PR96A6LY G9ING T9 G9 SCREAM AT S9MEFIN F9R A WHILE. #ALL THE FURY.   
CC: Swim by my respiteblock; we need to jam anywaves, aboat all this.   
CC: Morayeel time!   
CT: |)=> Fucking spare me your blatant smug flouting.   
  
canteringTorricellian [CT] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CC: 3>8(   
TA: ehehe he reallψ d0esnt pull h♊s punches anψm0re   
CC: Whale it wasn't what I was doing! He was just being overly sensitive!   
TA: ψeah s0 ♊ guess that t♊me ψ0u guys were all pale rubb♊ng up 0n each 0ther ♊n the m♊ddle of the damn c0rr♊d0r was just a halluc♊nat♊0n then   
CG: 9H MY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS 9NE TIME!   
TA: pfft keep tell♊ng ψ0urself that kk   
  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CG: FUCK Y9U! #NEVER G9ING T9 LIVE THAT D9WN AM I.   
CC: He's such a gossip. Don't take it too personally, Karcrab. 38)   
GA: Yes   
GA: W♀uldn't want any♀ne t♀ get the wr♀ng idea n♀w w♀uld we   
CC: 3>8(   
  
granulationAether [GA] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
CC: I fucking swear to cod...   
CC: ST9P IT. I REALLY CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIT 9N T9P 9F EVERYTHING ELSE.  
CG: H9W ARE WE SUPP9SE T9 S9RT THE GIANT PILE 9F GAR6AGE 9UT WITH THE HUMANS? I'VE C9MPLETELY FUCKED UP AND WE ALL KN9W IT.   
CC: 38(   
CC: It's not that bad. We're all alive and so are our long lost fronds.   
CC: I think we can fix this- not just fuck everyfin up like we did the last dozen times we met them. We're not stupid guppies anemeore.   
CG: FUCK, I H9PE N9T. THE H9RR9RTERR9R'S 9NLY KN9W H9W 6ADLY THIS W9ULD END 9UT.  
CC: I figured a seer would sea. 3;)   
CG: OH HA HA HA. I F9RG9T H9W T9 LAUGH. #MEAN FISH.   
CG: 6UT WHATEVER, C9ME OVER HERE AND C9MPLAIN WITH ME. I FEEL WEIRDER THAN USUAL HISSING AT MY HUSKT9P SCREEN.   
CC: Shore thing, morayeel.   
CC: Then we can finally tackle this whole net of issues.   
CC: Just like old times!   
CG: Y9U 6ETTER N9T FUCKING DIE LIKE 9LD TIMES. IF Y9U LEAVE ME AL9NE T9 DEAL WITH ALL THIS SHIT I'LL 9FF MYSELF AND KICK Y9UR ASS IN THE AFTERLIFE.   
CC: ♦  
CG: ♦   
  
cantankerousGuanine [CG] has left memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  
  
compassionateCephalopod [CC] has closed memo GAM-E PLAY-ER -ENCOUNT-ERS.  
  



	21. Remembrance

Jane jerked upright, the shriek caught in her throat. Heart pounding she wildly looked around, convinced the horrible giant thing of her nightmares was going to pounce out of the shadows and tear her head off. 

Instead she was completely alone. 

Confused Jane shifted back, beads of sweat cooling on her skin as she looked about uneasily. The room was largely empty apart from herself; she was sitting in one of the corners of the large box-shaped room, the ceiling over twenty feet high, being the same uniform deep grey as the walls and floor. Like the Observer's room the only illumination came from the candles fixed to the horns of the troll skulls scattered high across the walls. Another faint glow came from a massive computer set up across the room from her. Apart from that the room was bare and she was alone.

Sucking in a deep breath Jane struggled to calm herself down, breathing in even inhales and exhales until the hammering of her heart gradually slowed, the tremors in her legs easing. She was alone. Abutor wasn't there to torture her. She wasn't being restrained. The monster in her dreams wasn't there. She was alone.

Finally her adrenaline began to ebb as she continued to breath slowly and evenly, her senses dulling as everything began to hurt. It was a bone-deep ache created from exhaustion, blood-loss and near dehydration.

Jane shut her eyes tightly, feeling nauseous as she thought about her most serious injury, her most recent one. No, she couldn't put it off. She had to look.

Sucking in a deep breath Jane opened her eyes before hesitantly looking down at her left arm, half hoping that the hand-severing had been a part of her nightmare.

But no, rather than her forearm ending in a hand there was just a thick jagged end of flesh and exposed bone. Bewildered, Jane raised her ruined arm closer to her face; encasing the stump of her wrist was a translucent gel nearly an inch thick. Through the slightly green tinted gel she could see the torn ends of tendons and the stark whiteness of her ulna and radius bones.

Her eyes began to burn as she looked at the ruined stump, gut roiling at the primal wrongness of seeing her own exposed bones. _What am I going to do now?_ she thought in despair as she touched the gel with her other hand. She couldn't escape, not now, not crippled and unarmed as she was. She didn't even have any armour since she was still wearing just her tattered underwear. As much as Jane wanted to be back home with her family she logically guessed attempting to fight her way through a shipful of angry alien clowns with only one hand and half-naked to boot would just lead to her agonizing death. Or worse, sent back to Abutor.

To shove away those depressing thoughts Jane used her right hand to carefully feel around her naked back; like her wrist the slab of exposed sliced flesh on her back had been covered in the same odd gel. Likewise her cut off ear had been carefully sealed, leaving the auditory canal still exposed so she wasn't deaf on that side. But all her large wounds had been covered in the gel, a sealant of some sort she guessed.

 _Gamzee must of put this on before he left so I wouldn't bleed to death,_ Jane thought. It was an oddly comforting notion. Though she was still splattered with her own blood with most on the side of her face and neck, and a large amount was splashed across her arms and chest from her severed hand incident, he had taken care to seal up her injuries before leaving. 

As it was Jane felt woozy and clammy, a symptom of blood loss and she knew she would've died from her injuries if he hadn't taken care of her. Wrinkling her nose, she peered closer at the sealant on her wrist; as it was she was too exhausted to attempt healing the wound. Most of her passive healing had gone to keeping her alive after the blood loss and shock, speeding up her reproduction of red blood cells, and was still helping her from fainting, Jane knew she would need at least a few days solid rest before she could replace her lost limb, if not more. 

Which meant she was stuck here.

'Here' being a loaded word, however. She had a suspicion she was in Gamzee's room- after all, who else would have taken her -but if that was the case then where was he? He was over fourteen feet tall. Quite hard to hide an alien that size, so he was most likely off doing something. Or maybe he was in another room? Currently Jane could see three doors, so he could be lurking in there. Though how long had she been unconscious?

Grumbling Jane inwardly cursed the fact she didn't have a precise internal clock like Dave did; regardless of where he was Dave would always know the time or how long time had passed.

She went to sit upright, wincing as something thick and blunt pressed against the undersides of her naked legs and lower back. Confused Jane glanced down; in her panic to scan the room she had missed the fact she was sitting on a giant pile of-

With a strangled noise Jane scrambled off the massive pile of troll skulls she was sitting on, colliding painfully with the floor as she fell off the tall heap. She struggled back up to her feet before letting out a squawk as her feet, the soles being fresh new skin ever since Abutor melted them back in that horrible room, brushed up against the harsh textures of the skulls. Stumbling onto her knees she went to break her fall with her hands, forgetting about her current missing one and causing her to land heavily on her side on the floor.

For a long moment she lay there prone, breathing heavily. Eventually she sat up, wincing as her feet brushed against the floor. The soles of her feet were horribly, almost painfully sensitive due to the fresh skin she regrew after the original toughened flesh got melted off. Grumbling curses under her breath she glanced back over at the massive pile that took up the entire corner.

Skulls. Hundreds of troll skulls, teeth bared in eternal smiles, gaping eye sockets staring into nothing. All were bleach-white, the only colour being the orange and red horns with the usually sharp tips filed into blunt curves. Jane felt dizzy as she struggled to take in the view; so many dead, stacked up carelessly in a corner like bits furniture. Then again there were also skulls being used as candle fixtures. Waste not want not, Jane had to give the Subjugglators that. Skin, blood, bone; the clowns used all of their victims. So were all of these skulls made from Gamzee's victims?

The thought caused her to shiver involuntarily. Had she been so blindsided by elation that he was alive that she was ignoring the fact he was an incredibly dangerous and vicious individual? The fact he had a pile of skulls in his room empathized that. But he cared for her, didn't he? He wasn't just an unfeeling monster, Jane was certain of it.

She looked down at her wrist, at the gel keeping her wound sealed. No, if Gamzee wanted her dead he would have left her with that horrible little beast Abutor, or killed her in the square when they fought.

Sucking in a shaky breath she looked over the pile more carefully; there wasn't just skulls in there- she also could see empty bottles of faygo, sheets of purple fabric, bike horns, empty pie tins, small juggling clubs and numerous colourful ribbons scattered throughout. In all, it was an odd assortment of objects that just seemed randomly heaped together.

Jane rubbed at her temple with her remaining hand; her exhaustion was making her sloppy, absent and ignoring major things like the fact she'd been sitting on a bunch of dead trolls for who knows how long. 

Regardless, she wasn't going to just sit around. She'd search the adjacent rooms; surely Gamzee would be in one of them? Then she could to speak to him. Maybe find a way off this ship.

She thought about using her Life sense but the throbbing in her head discouraged that notion. Last thing she needed was to either cause herself to faint or create a migraine.

So instead she slowly got to her feet and shuffled back over to the pile. She picked out one of the nearest ribbons from the heap, feeling uncomfortable at the unseeing gaze of the hundreds of skulls, before awkwardly wrapping up her left arm in the purple length of cloth, starting to create a make-shift sling for her crippled arm. 

It was a frustrating task and Jane could feel tears of anger prick her eyes as she repeatedly fumbled at the fabric, struggling to wrap it around her torn wrist and forearm. She managed to loop it around her neck but kept on loosing her grip on the fabric when she tried to knot the two ends together. 

A horrible whine managed to claw its way from her throat as shame and rage began to boil deep inside her. A tear managed to slip free and slowly made a wet path down her cheek but Jane doggedly ignored it, her breathing tight and hoarse. In all it took her over a minute to successfully tie the knot with one hand, eventually being forced to grip it in her teeth as it kept slipping before she managed to do a firm enough tie.

Afterwards she angrily brushed aside her tears, berating herself for being so weak as she staggered to her feet. She carefully shifted her left arm; the pressure was evenly distributed across her shoulders and the back of the neck, holding her forearm firmly against her chest. Hopefully it would keep her arm secure. 

_And quite frankly I don't want to look at it,_ she thought bitterly. She wanted to kick something out of frustration but wisely her common sense ruled out. Wouldn't do to injure herself even more.

So instead she cast one last look around the room. She tried poking at the computer to see if she could find anything but to her annoyance it was password locked. The Maid was tempted to try cracking it but thought better. It would just be her luck she'd lock the computer and alert the guards or something and be dragged off back to that horrible room. So she gave the computer a final glare before shuffling over to one of the nearest doors. Like the other two it was just a massive slab of metal, inlaid with hundreds of little smiley faces with clown noses. The door was nearly sixteen feet tall and Jane had to struggle to drag it open with one hand.

Inside was another massive room; like the other it was devoid of life. This one had walls of a deep purple and housed a massive cocoon-like object the size of a small swimming pool and when Jane wandered over and peered inside the thing it was filled with a thick lime-green slime. She tentatively sniffed, an odd citrus smell filling her nostrils. The Maid was tempted to lean down and touch it, but she didn't want to run the risk of falling inside. With her crippled arm she probably wouldn't be climb out of the vast tub.

So instead she moved away, carefully inspecting the rest of the room. Towering cabinets lined one of the walls next to a wardrobifier. When she opened one it was filled with an array of massive spiked clubs, the largest of which was near Jane's own height. Each had thick spikes jutting from the rounded ends, all the colour of troll horns. She shuddered and shut the cabinet before proceeding to the next.

This one had more potential; it was lined with clothing, such as another set of the armour-like outfit he had been wearing when he met her in Abutor's torture room. However alongside that was more of the simple black shirts emblazoned with the purple Capricorn symbol.

For a long while Jane stared at the shirt, buck teeth digging into her lower lip. 

Finally she gave a noise of annoyance before reaching out and tugging one of the black shirts out of the cabinet. It was awkward with one hand and she had to yank hard enough she nearly fell over before she successfully extracted one of the shirts. Carefully she pulled the shirt up, intending to tug it over her head. Instead she peered quizzically when the fabric split open at the front. Running her fingers along the split didn't reveal any buttons or latches. 

Jane tugged it over her shoulders anyway, the shirt large enough the hem reached her knees. Her right arm she carefully slipped through the arm hole, but kept her wrapped-up left arm tucked against her front underneath. She touched the fabric again, confused at how she was supposed to button it up as the neckline was large enough the shirt kept on wanting to slip down her back. Frustrated she gripped both sides of the neck seam with her teeth and grabbed the bottom of the shirt. 

To her surprised the shirt suddenly zipped itself up and she quickly let go of the thick fabric. Curious she ran her hand down the front, down past the Capricorn symbol but detected no seams or bumps. Well, that was some weird alien technology.

She suddenly scoffed; of _course_ trolls had shirts that had to make way for their bizarre array of horns. They couldn't just yank on a shirt over their head and she doubted all of them had a wardrobifier, especially if they were out in the field or on missions so they would have to find another way.

But regardless, it was yet another thing she found out about the trolls; zipper-less clothing. She snorted; ah yes, some speculator Intel she could take back to her family.

She shook her head, amused despite herself. At least with the shirt on she felt a lot less vulnerable than just running around in her underwear and it was another barrier against her wounded arm. She felt more...secure with her crippled limb hidden from view. The shirt itself was completely oversized for her and she was swimming in the dark fabric, but she felt a lot more _safe_ in the shirt. 

The Maid inspected the rest of the cupboards but they just housed more pie tins, horns and several massive tubs of white facepaint. One did have a collection of preserved severed heads in it and Jane quickly slammed the door shut before leaving the room.

The next door she tried likewise lead to an empty room. However unlike the others this room was more akin to a vast corridor, narrower and longer than the other rooms. And the majority of the grey walls were covered in massive colourful paintings.

Jane moved further into the room, eyes going wide. The paintings had clearly been painted by hands and she knew that trolls drew in blood but there was something beautiful in all the art adoring the grey walls, if only because Gamzee painted them. Slowly she began to shuffle her way down the room, eyes wandering along the walls.

Trolls, planets, aliens, fights. Dozens of pictures, dozens of people had been depicted in painstaking detail. She could identify the Priestormentors, another of each individually, the Condesce lounging in her throne and- to her distaste -Abutor in another. There were numerous other trolls she didn't recognize, along with strange white creatures which she assumed was the 'lusus' that Jake grew up with. One in particular took up a large portion of the side wall, a massive seagoat with a shaggy beard and thick jagged horns like Gamzee's. More creatures followed afterwards; a centaur, a moth, a dragon, a gigantic spider, a bull with butterfly wings, a serpentine ram, a gigantic squid-like beast and many more. 

Jane felt something prod at her memory but she was dragged from her thoughts as she reached the end of the room. There on the back wall was a gigantic mural, spanning the entire surface in a wash of colour. The borders of the painting were two gigantic dark green serpents, their jaws locked on each others tails, a nimbus of rainbow surrounding their sinuous lengths. However they were a side note compared with the grandeur of the rest of the piece.

The center of the mural was, oddly enough, a gigantic frog with flesh the colour of space. Galaxies glowed in the frog's bulbous eyes and thousands of stars and swirling nebulas were painstakingly painted onto the frog's flesh. An odd fixture for a painting from an alien clown of a murderous cult. 

_The Genesis Frog, the Patron God of all Frogs,_ the words suddenly rose from the recess of her memory, spoken in Jade's voice. _Of course. That's who Gamzee painted,_ Jane thought, peering closely at the painting. She had heard the story first hand from Jade, how she and Dave hunted down the frogs and found the tadpole, whom would be birthed into the new Genesis Frog who housed a galaxy. Jane found the whole story preposterous since it was a frog of all things but then again she'd been possessed by an evil tiara from an ancient fish tyrant, so Jade's tale was not farfetched compared with others of her family. And by all accounts the trolls likewise created a Genesis Frog even if they did, in Jade's words, "Completely fucked it up by being a bunch of dumbasses."

Shuffling back a few steps Jane glanced at the rest of the mural; surrounding the massive frog center piece were twenty three planets of a variety of colours and details. She instantly recognized Skaia's blue and white skies, the gold of Prospit, the purple of Derse. However these three were scattered about the edges, a side note, not within the uniform loop of twenty.

For a moment Jane studied the ring of other strange planets with a vague interest until she suddenly recognized the vibrant neon hues of Roxy's planet on one of them. Eyebrows raised she glanced at the nearest ones; yes, there was Dirk's with swirling green and a blood-red centre, Jake's a poisonous lime with a bright purple cross slicing through it. In contrast Jane's was just a boring rock of grey but-

Eyes narrowing she learned forward, studying her own planet intently; rather than just being a uniform grey like she remembered half of her planet had been painted with bright pinks and yellows. She scoffed under her breath; like that crappy dead rock was ever that colourful. Next to hers was one she knew from John's stories, same with Rose's, Jade's and Dave's planet. The remaining twelve she guessed was the trolls.

She searched out for Gamzee's, wondering which of them were his. To her relief she noticed a small, nearly thumbnail sized symbol next to the planets, all of those of the zodiac in their respective blood colour. To her amusement his one was covered in what looked like circus tents, with bright blue orbs glowing on the tips. Figures a clown would get a circus for his planet. Jane wish she could've visited it. It looked a lot more fun than her dead rock full of crypts and bones.

Bemused she glanced over at her own planet and could see a tiny green symbol; the Life symbol. Jane felt some of her nervousness ease after studying the picture. He remembered. She _knew_ he remembered, to heck with what her family said.

Touching her still-present necklace Jane eventually turned away from the massive mural. Well and well, he remembered her, he remembered the Game. Now all she needed to do was find him and figure out what she was going to do with her current predicament of being imprisoned on an alien ship full of killer space clowns.

With a bone-deep sigh Jane began to slowly shuffle her way back to the door, grimacing as her foot scraped across a crusted over piece of paint, the sensation causing her to shiver. Damn her feet. It was going to make escaping even more annoying since even the bumps in dried up paint on the floor was causing her to flinch. After a moment of consideration she also cursed Abutor, the horrible little monster for causing it in the first place. She half hoped Gamzee was off mauling the doctorturer to death.

She was still grumbling under her breath, nearly to the door when a picture on the adjacent wall suddenly drew her eyes. An odd sense of familiarity welled inside her at the portrait of the troll and the Maid stopped dead in her tracks, breath stuttering to a halt in her lungs.

The portrait was of a troll but it was unlike any Jane had ever seen.

The slight troll was depicted from the chest up, the profile being a three-quarter view and painted against a beautiful space background sprinkled with stars and nebulas. Unlike most trolls this one was clad in a thick cloak completely black against the starry background, with the stitching done in white. Interestingly enough the symbol on the troll's chest was the same spiral Space symbol of Jade's. Another Game player. 

But it wasn't just the clothing of the troll which made her- _How do I know this is a she?_ \- stand out. The grey skin, gold scleras, vibrant orange and red horns; all were trademark of a troll. However the shape of the face was completely wrong to be named one. It was too sharp, too bony, with protruding circular cheekbones, thick teeth that jutted from a lipless mouth and almost skeletal brow and nose that all bespoke of something else. Likewise the hair was wrong; unlike every other troll the short hair of the creature in the portrait was a stark white, thick and fluffy unlike the jagged fur-like black of the average Alternian.

Vibrant green swirls decorated the not-troll's cheekbones and the same hues were depicted in her overly large eyes. Her horns were eerily similar to Gamzee's current adult ones; tall and wavy. Jane leaned closer, studying the portrait intently as she grasped her necklace again nervously. Something nagged at her, an utter certainty in her gut that insisted she _knew_ this troll. That the maid had meet her before at some point. 

Jane had no idea where this complete certainty was coming from; she was positive she had only ever meet one troll face-to-face before the whole invasion thing, back in the Game and that was Gamzee. True, the horns were near identical, however the person in the portrait's horns only matched an adult Gamzee's horns, not when he was an adolescent. So why was she so certain she knew this troll-like creature?

Suddenly a wave of melancholy and loss struck Jane so hard she flinched backwards, a thick lump building in her throat and hot tears welling up in her eyes. She _knew_ this troll. More than knew her, cared for her. Missed her.

 _But how? How could I know her? Who even is she?_ What _even is she? And why is she a Player? This doesn't make any sense,_ frustration battled her sense of grief and Jane angrily turned from the picture, furious, confused and grieving. She released her necklace to scrub at her eyes, struggling to draw breath as she hobbled from the room, unable to bear looking at the eerily familiar picture anymore and the emotions it was inciting deep within her.

Jane was half blinded by her tears and she ended up hitting the door frame. Cursing she stumbled back into the room with the pile of skulls, too distracted by her sobbing and pain to notice the room was no longer unoccupied. 

Even when she tripped over one of the empty faygo bottles and landed face first on the ground she still didn't notice. 

The fall onto the floor was like a dam breaking and suddenly Jane started crying so hard she started to convulse, strangled sobs escaping her throat as hot tears began to pour down her cheeks. She curled up on the hard ground, her one whole arm wrapped around her as she tucked her legs up underneath the overly large shirt as she sobbed, curled into a ball as all the pain, fear and grief of the last hours of consciousness came crashing down on her like a mountain of ice.

The Maid was so preoccupied with crying she was unaware of the other person in the room approaching her. It wasn't until a broad hand, large enough to span her shoulder blades, landed on her back and she felt the prickle of claws through the fabric of her borrowed shirt did she realize there was a troll kneeling next to her curled-up form.

Jane made a strangled noise as she struggled to slow her sobbing, trying to draw in breath through the thick knot in her throat. With painful movements she slowly unclenched herself from the ball she had rolled into, trying to control her erratic strangled breathing. Her right arm shook as she slowly pushed herself upright, struggling to not tip over as she shifted up onto her bruised knees. The hand along her back moved, carefully tugging her around until she was facing the troll kneeling before her.

She finally managed to see through the blur of tears and instantly recognized the twisting horns, the purple symbol, the jagged nightmarish facepaint only a few inches from her own.

With a horrible broken sob Jane threw herself into Gamzee's arms before breaking down completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried another Gamz- http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/113133237808/another-go-at-drawing-grand-highblood-gamzee-from


	22. Something old, something new

  
animaChimera [AC]  has begun trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   
  
AC: (◞‸◟) Hello, Rose.  
TT: ...   
TT: Hi.  
AC: (◞‸◟) I do not know if you remember me from back in Sgrub. I only spoke to you a handful of times before I died, so I would not be surprised if you have no recollection of these events. However yo aid your memory, I shall introduce myself.  
AC: (◞‸◟) I am Nepeta Leijon. Within Sgrub I was given the title of Rogue of Heart, however I died before I could physically meet you on the Meteor.  
TT: Don't worry, Nepeta. As a Seer I tend to have a far more...vivid memory of that time then many other members of my family.  
TT: So I remember you; they were positive interactions, if not brief, and you requested to speak with Jaspers at one point while I was busying blowing up my planet.  
TT: So yes, I can recall you in a fond manner. I hope you can say the same for me.  
AT: (◞‸◟) I apologize, I cannot.  
AT: (◞‸◟) Alternia robbed many things from me, including large portions of my memory.  
AT: (◞‸◟) In fact the only reason I know of you is my moriail recently telling me about our old interactions. However he assures me I incited no hateful or angry reactions from you humans and thus it is acceptable for me to approach any of you.  
TT: I see. Is this why you are speaking in a lot less enthused manner?  
TT: I remember you being very preppy and excited, not to mention greatly interested in roleplay of the feline variety, hence your fondness of my Jaspers.  
AT: (◞‸◟) ...  
TT: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.  
AT: (◞‸◟) No.  
AT: (◞‸◟) This was a stupid idea.  
  
animaChimera [AC]  has ceased trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   
  
TT: Nepeta, wait!  
TT: Fuck.  


* * *

  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has opened memo Shit i gotta remember  
  
TG: alright so heres a run down for myself  
TG: 1. figure out wtf we're gonna do w the janey scenario  
TG: 2. probs try and crack into the higher up trollie shit  
TG: 3. try to talk to the apparent nice trolls  
TG: 4. bond w john over all this fucking garbage   
TG: 5. lay down a trap for the trollies cause this is totes the waffles for the donkey  
TG: 6. get another drink cause fuck this noise uuugh  
TG: 7. decrypt more of compes shit (like holy fuck does that girl have a buttload of info rip)  
TG: 8. ...lie in wait like the sneaky bitch i am lmao where the fuck u at u overgrown rainbow space nerd, i know youre lurking  
  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has responded to memo Shit i gotta remember  
  
TA: s0 Ψ0U'53 the 0ne wh0 tracked us d0wn huh   
TG: HAHA CAUGHT U   
TG: you fell right for my magical tree hole   
TA: what the actual fuck are ψ0u talking ab0ut?  
TG: about my mad skills in luring technoshit aliens into my den  
TA: 0h please ψ0u d♊dnt 'lure me ♊n', ψ0u dumbass human  
TA: ♊f anψth♊ng y0u stuck ne0n flags all 0ver ψ0ur crappψ hive and went '202 200K 4T Μ3' s0 h0w the fuck is that anψ kind 0f skill  
TG: ooo hot dog we got a hater in the waffle hole  
TG: houston i'm gonna have to ask u to stop being a major pain in my shapely ass  
TA: the fuck ♊s h0ust0n  
TG: wait, so u space hitlers dont have a houston? you guys have rip off of our baking goods and our zodiacs but u dont have houston  
TG: smh  
TA: alr♊ght ψ0u med♊0cre pr0grammer  
TA: f♊rst 0ff techn♊callψ we made ψ0ur un♊verse   
TA: s0 we r♊pped 0ff n0th♊ng and ψou d♊rt monkeys made the cast 0ffs  
TA: sec0nd ψ0u saψ ψ0u made a 'trap'  
TA: ψeah, ψ0ure such a great fuck♊ng man♊pulat0r, blatantlψ tell♊ng s0me0ne ♊ts a trap and mak♊ng ♊t th♊nkpan-fr♊ed w♊gglers plaψ t0 track ψ0u d0wn  
TA: l♊ke sh♊t, thats just pathet♊c  
TG: that some sick fires bro  
TA: are ψ0u fuck♊ng ser♊0us ♊'m n0t even d0♊ng slam p0etrψ  
TG: lmao wtf  
TA: ugh whψ the fuck d♊d ♊ th♊nk th♊s was a g00d ♊dea?  
TA: clearlψ the fact y0u even tracked us was just d0wn t0 stup♊dass luck  
TA: cause ψ0u're l♊ke a damn st0ned cl0wn r♊ght now and ♊'ve had ♊t w♊th th0se fucked up sh♊ts  
TG: someone had a bowl of bitchy for breakfast huh  
TG: anyway i bet you cant hack it that i kicked your ass w my mad skills and trackd down ur shitty code  
TG: (lololol hack it)  
TA: ehehe ψeah 0kaψ h0ld 0nt0 ψ0ur delus♊0ns, earth m0nkeψ  
TA: whψ d0es every0ne th♊nk we sh0uld make fr♊ends w♊th ψ0u fuckbuckets aga♊n  
TA: cause that w0rked 0ut 20 well last t♊me  
TG: someone is a liiiiiiil bitter lol  
TG: tho from rosies notes i can guess why  
TG: ur the gemini arent u  
TG: a mista 'sollux captor' aka sir space mustard :)  
TA: ψ0u want me t0 ♊nsert s0me sl0w claps 0r s0meth♊ng  
TA: because read♊ng n0tes bψ a seer ♊s such a exemplarψ ach♊evement 0f ♊ntell♊gence  
TG: you were like already dead when she showed up apparently lol  
TG: then janey's alien bf nicked ur corpse   
TA: well d0ne 0n be♊ng able t0 read  
TG: well done on being a total douchelord lmao  
TG: if ur trying to make friends w this fineass lady then i gotta tell you youre royally fuckin it up, space nerd  
TA: ugh  
TA: alright then 'r0xy lal0nde'  
TA: the ancest0r t0 r0se, r♊ght? cause nep and fef ment♊0ned ψ0u  
TA: als0 kn0wn as the r0gue of v0♊d and some0ne wh0 fucked up their sess♊0n bψ be♊ng drunk thr0ugh m0st 0f ♊t wh♊le be♊ng fr♊ends w♊th s0me fucked up spr♊te and ach♊eved jacksh♊t   
TG: WOW FUCKIN RUDE  
TG: bringing sweet precious fefeta up into this :(  
TG: how dare u  
TA: 0h d♊d ♊ 0ffend y0ur del♊cate human sens♊b♊l♊t♊es?  
TA: and fefeta was a fuckedup ab0m♊nat♊0n s0me sh♊tty cl0wn made, st0p treat♊ng that th♊ng as ♊f ♊t was ψ0ur 'sweet prec♊0us' fr♊end at s0me fucking p0♊nt  
  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
  
TA: FU6K♊N KN06K ♊7 03F!  
TG: FIGHT ME HELEN  
  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
  
TA: TH3 FU6K, 2T0P ♊T YOU DUM6422 N00KWH♊FF  
TG: BRING IT BITCH  
  
  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
  
TA: TH♊2 ♊2 63TT♊N6 U2 NO WH374  
TG: maybe if u apologize for being a total fuckin doorknocker!  
TG: cause like fuck im gonna waste my valauable time on some pompous alien ass who cant hack SHIT  
TA: and whψ sh0uld ♊ ap0l0g♊ze t0 the l♊kes 0f ψ0u huh  
TA: an upstart l♊ttle taintchafer wh0 seems t0 th♊nk fl0ut♊ng 0ur pers0nal handles everψwhere ♊s fuck♊ng 0kay?  
TA: 00h ψeah, fuck♊ng f0rb♊d ♊ d0nt b0w and scrape bef0re ψ0u just cause kk fucked up, ask♊ng f0r ψ0ur f0rg♊veness  
TG: yeah i admit that 'karkat' dude was a total fuckstick when he was talkin to john  
TG: legit telling us to just sit around and wait to die like srsly  
TG: but at least he wasnt just a straight up douchecanoe like ur being :/  
TA: how the fuck was ♊ be♊ng a sw♊mming apparatus   
TG: bad mouthing me the instant ur mustard ass showed up is how  
TG: then draggin up my drinking (RUDE) bashing fefeta and then bashing my family  
TG: from what jade and rose tell me u are the guys who fucked everything up  
TG: giving the new universe cancer, creating that bitchass dog guy  
TG: then not gankin that evil fishbitch once we took care of her the first time  
TG: like u fuckheads are the one who should be bowing and scrapin at us  
TG: not lecturing us over 'ooooo u did bad shit omg' when you fuckers outclass us w that like a hundred times over in terms of shit gameplay  
TA: 0h s0 thats what ♊ts ab0ut huh  
TA: i hurt ψ0ur feel♊ngs bψ p0♊nt♊ng 0ut be♊ng the res♊dent♊al s0p0r slurper of ψ0ur sess♊on meant fuckall and that fefeta was a fucked up ab0m♊nation l♊ke the rest 0f us  
TG: AND THERE WE GO AGAIN  
TG: ur one bitterass mustard bitch lmao  
TG: also wtf is sopor  
TG: wait nvm its in rosies notes  
TG: such a good daughter *wiptes away tear*  
TA: ahuh ψeah guess ψ0u guys d♊d luck 0ut w♊th the wh0le ancest0r th♊ng  
TA: least ψ0u d♊dnt get them mashed ♊n ψ0ur fuck♊ng th♊nkpan  
TG: oh my heart fuckin bleeds :(  
TG: why couldnt i get fefeta instead of this sour nerd  
TA: cause fefeta doesnt ex♊st?  
TA: fuck ψ0u humans are stup♊d  
TA: that th♊ng ψou sa♊d was ψ0ur 'fr♊end' was actuallψ just tw0 dead pe0ple stuck t0gether bψ s0me assh0le cl0wn  
TG: hey stop dissing janeys bae like that >:(  
TA: a what  
TG: its human thing  
TG: a space mustard nerd wouldn't understand lol  
TA: ψ0ure call♊ng me a nerd  
TA: 0h h0lψ bulgefucker, the ♊r0ny  
TG: wooooow gettin burned by yellow nerd boy here  
TG: how will i cope w such an epic burn?????  
TG: write on my gravestone how i got served so mega hard   
TA: 0h ha ha ha ♊ f0rg0t h0w t0 fuck♊n laugh  
TG: yeah you seem like the sour douche in ur group  
TA: i bet ♊ts wracking ψ0ur t♊nyass th♊nkpan as t0 w0nder whψ  
TG: cause ur bitter and dun goofd  
TG: like i dunno why ur getting all bitter at me and us humies cause its not like we fucked up on doubletapping fishhitler >:(  
TG: figured you shitheads wouldve learned first time that crazy bitch had to be put down but nooooo  
TG: instead we gotta fix up your fucking mess  
TG: AGAIN  
TA: s0 whψ the fuck d0 ψ0u guψs wanna be fr♊ends w♊th us ♊f ψ0u want t0 k♊ck 0ur asses s0 bad huh?  
TG: captains orders  
TA: ψou d0n't have a fuck♊n starsh♊p, dumbass  
TG: ugh you knwo what?  
TG: FUCK THIS SHIT >:((((  
TG: i have had a bad fucking week let me tell you and not just becauyse of the inconsiderate space fucksticks who decided to show up and fuck us over via being a bunch of murderous dongknockers since u guys did exactly fucking jackshit and dropped the ball inna black hole  
TG: frst off we had to kill some chick in a tentacle nest ad after that janey got abducted but angryass clowns who wouldnt know """"fashion""""" if it punched them in the head  
TG: and now ive spent like two days straight tryin to decypher all this shit without sleep and working on just snackage gratuitous amounts of chocolate and ive even bowed to some martinis and im pretty sure ive been hallucinating a tiny bit  
TG: so fuckin forbid i dont wanna bro it up w some alien douchesprocket w an attitude prob like gtfo   
TG: or at least pull that bitter stick outta ur yellow ass :/  
TA: s0 what, ψou want me t0 suck up t0 ψ0u 0r s0meth♊ng?  
TA: cause news flash; ♊'m prettψ fuck♊ng aware 0f h0w badlψ we fucked up   
TG: yeah well great job on fixing it A++ lol  
  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has BANNED tenochtitlanAccidens [TA] from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has BANNED tritonGorgeousness [TG]  from the memo!  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has UNBANNED themselves from the memo!  
  
TA: 008H MΨ7 FUCKL♊0N SH♊7 ♊ G♊2VE UP  
  
tenochtitlanAccidens [TA]  has left the memo!  
  
TG: YEAH U BETTER RUN  
TG: ro-lal = 1  
TG: mustard space nerd = 0  
TG: ha i am good  
TG: ...   
TG: fml i need a drink  
  
tritonGorgeousness [TG]  has closed memo Shit i gotta remember  


* * *

  
garroteConstance [GC]  has begun trolling telecineGuttery [TG]   
  
GC: H3y, D4v3!   
GC: Long t1m3 no s33, h3h3h3h3!   
GC: Wow, 1t's b33n l1k3 how fuck1ng long s1nc3 w3'v3 talk3d? L1k3 ov3r s1x sw33ps now, or som3th1ng.   
GC: 3v3n though th3 l4st t1m3 you s4w m3 1 w4s 4 m4ngl3d-up brok3n corps3. >8[  
GC: So y34h, prob4bly not th3 b3st l4st1ng 1mpr3ss1on, h3h3.  
GC: But 1 l1k3 to th1nk of 1t 4s 4 f41r 3xch4ng3!  
GC: Wh3n you th1nk about 4ll th3 t1m3s I s4w you d34d body 4ll ov3r th3 pl4c3, l34king out th4t d3l1c1ous ch33ry s4uc3 3v3rywh3r3, 1t's only f41r you s4w m3 1n 4ll my d34d glory >;]  
GC: 3v3n 1f th3 c1rcumst4nc3s l3ft 4 fucklo4d to b3 d3s1r3d. >8[   
GC: But w3 h4d good t1m3s, d1dn't w3? Or 4t l34st 3nt3rt41n1ng ti1m3s! B3tw33n 4ll th3 dy1ng 4nd 4ngst 4nyw4y.  
GC: H3h3h3h3, so much 4dol3sc3nt 4ngst! Doubl3 for m3 4ft3rw4rds >8]   
GC: Sp34k1ng of wh1ch, just wa1t unt1l I t3ll you how th4t h4pp3n3d! Som3 cr4zy M1nd sh1t 4nyw4y h3h3.   
GC: L1k3 r3m3mb3r C4n Town? So much fuck1ng ch4lk w3 us3d h3h3h3. 4nd not to m3nt1on th3 Mayor!  
GC: Oh m4n, th3 Mayor w4s b3lov3d by 4ll. 4nd for good r34son m1ght 1 4dd! >8]  
GC: I hop3 h3's ok4y >8[ Or 4liv3, 4t l34st.  
GC: 3v3n 4ft3r 4ll th1s t1m3 1 r3m3mb3r 4ll th4t. P3rks of b41ng 4 S33r 1 gu3ss. Along w1th som3 pr3tty 3p1c d4ym4r3s but wh4t c4n you do about th4t, r1ght?  
GC: H3y! Sp34k1ng of wh1ch, 1'm k1nd4 l1ke you s1nc3 1'm 4 Kn1ght 4s w3ll!  
GC: W3ll, h4lf one. 1 don't fuck1ng know, 1t's k1nd4 uncl34r. >8[  
GC: But th4t's 4noth3r th1ng w3 got 1n common!  
GC: M4yb3 1 c4n 4sk you just wh4t th3 fuck th4t cl4ss 1s 3v3n suppos3d to do, s1nc3 K4rk4t do3sn't r34lly h4v3 4n 1d34 31th3r. I th1nk 1t's l1k3 4...p4ss1v3 d3f3nd3r or som3th1ng?  
GC: Why th3 fuck d1dn't th4t stup1d-4ss g4m3 com3 w1th 4n 1nstruct1on m4nu4l 1'll n3v3r know.   
GC: L1ke 1t w4s d3l1b3r4t3ly try1ng to b3 4 dumb4ss 4nd m4k3 3v3ryon3 f41l s1nc3 w3 w3r3 just fl41l1ng 4round l1k3 4 bunch of fuckw1ts try1ng to f1gur3 wh4t to do.   
GC: ...   
GC: >8[   
GC: D4v3?   
GC: Com3 on, I know you'r3 onl1n3!   
GC: No n33d to b3 shy h3h3h3 >;]   
TG: wrong Dave   
GC: >8?   
GC: Wh4t do you m34n th1s 1s th3 wrong D4v3? Th1s 1s tot4lly you; my nos3 don't l13 >8]   
TG: i mean youve got the wrong fuckin Dave   
TG: im not the one who played sburb   
TG: i was the one in the alpha session   
GC: Oh.   
GC: >8[   
GC: My b4d.   
GC: But you'r3 l1k3 th3 s4m3 p3rson 4nyw4y. You sm3ll so 4l1k3, h3h3h3.  
TG: were really not the same  
TG: anyway what do you want   
GC: 1 dunno, m4yb3 s4y h1? L1k3 1s th4t too much to fuck1ng 4sk or som3th1ng.   
TG: yeah well it is   
TG: cause unlike you i actually have shit to do and dont have time to entertain dumbass aliens   
GC: >8[   
  
telecineGuttery [TG]  has logged out!  
  
GC: Rud3.   
  
garroteConstance [GC]  has ceased trolling telecineGuttery [TG]   


* * *

  
canteringTorricellian [CT]  has begun trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   
  
CT: |)=> Greetings, Rose Lalonde.   
CT: |)=> I am speaking to the correct one?   
TT: Yes, this is the residential Seer of Light at your service.   
TT: Ready to begin cross-species communication with an estranged Equius Zahhak.   
CT: |)=> Yes.  
CT: |)=> Good.   
CT: |)=> I've manely coltacted you for two reasons; the first being the request we shod speak with you and hopefully curb the horstility which Karkat incited.   
CT: |)=> Again.   
CT: |)=> The second is be%use I noticed Nepeta attempted to whicker with you earlier.   
CT: |)=> Hoofever she quickly bolted from the exchange and retreated to her pen and refuses to try anymore, despite the fact she e%pressed interest in speaking with you humans again. Is there a reason for this?   
TT: Fuck.   
TT: Yes, she did try speaking with me earlier but I think I screwed it up somehow; even to begin with she was distant and...incredibly formal, for want of a better word.   
CT: |)=> My apologies; Nepeta is still....re%vering. I shod not have encouraged her to speak with you before she was ready.  
TT: May I ask what happened to her?   
TT: I understand if you tell me to piss off, it's just I think I offended her earlier and I don't know what I did wrong.   
TT: Because unlike a few other member of my family I do want to repair our relationships between each other. We've each got enough enemies as is without sowing dissent among each other.   
CT: |)=> Nepeta has been through a lot recently; it's been less than half-a-sweep that we managed to recuse her.   
TT: She was a prisoner?   
CT: |)=> By the Empire, yes.   
CT: |)=> Though to be more accurate she was a slave.  
TT: I see. And this caused her drastic change?  
CT: |)=> Indeed. The slave paddocks are used to groom a variety of slaves, mostly low-midb100ds who have not yet 'learned their place', so to bray.   
CT: |)=> They used a variety of tools to break a slave into a desired category which can range from a hard labourer, an accountant manager, to a docile companion or a leashed feral attack barkbeast.   
CT: |)=> Nepeta hoofever had the unfoaltunate luck to be targeted especially by the Overseer due to her connect to the rebellion.  
TT: The Overseer? The head slaver, I would assume from such a title.   
CT: |)=> Yes. I had encountered his descendant on a frequent basis but never had the misfortune of encountering the troll himself.  
CT: |)=> However Aradia, Sollux and Terezi had to fight him when we were on a mission to free Nepeta. They chose to stall him while Pexies and myself broke Nepeta free of her pen.  
TT: They fought him three on one? Did they kill him?  
CT: |)=> No. In fact he managed to injure them and nearly killed Terezi in the ensuing fight despite getting wounded. Quite an achievement, considering Aradia is a Godtier. Hoofever he was a psychic; able to produce explosions through the force of his glare akin to dragons which was cause for a lot of the issues during the fight. It also didn't help he was used to fighting the powers of warmblooded trolls, due to being a jailer of them.  
CT: |)=> There is a reason he's been Overseer for so long.  
TT: By being a spectacular ass-kicker?  
TT: In any case I heard tales from Jake about the potent glare of dragons while he lived on his island back in the Alpha universe. It certainly makes Terezi's surname even more humerous.  
CT: |)=> E%cuse me?  
TT: In Ancient Greek Pyrope translates to 'Fire eye'. It's extremely fitting with Terezi having her eyes burned out by the sun and her lusus, a dragon, being able to cause explosions through it's fiery glare.   
CT: |)=> I see. So it is true we still influenced your resnorted universe.  
TT: Yes, and that has been cause for a lot of frustration and unease amongst the invading Empire.   
TT: But we are getting off topic- you say you rescued her from being enslaved; why is her behaviour so radically changed?   
TT: I admit it's been ten years, but I doubt she would suddenly become so remorseful and sully without something terrible happening. Even being enslaved I have no doubt you would've gone to great lengths to rescue her as quickly as possible.  
CT: |)=> I  
CT: |)=> No.  
TT: ...you didn't save her?   
CT: |)=> Of course we fucking did!   
CT: |)=> I can t001rate a lot of accusations and snapping against me, but implying that I do not care for my moirail is where I draw the line.   
TT: Fuck, I didn't mean it like that!   
TT: Ugh, what is with me lately? I've been all foot in mouth.  
TT: But I didn't mean it like that- it just came out sounding so shitty, even though it wasn't my intention.   
TT: I'm sorry.  
TT: I've been out of sorts as well, mostly half-mad from worry for Jane.   
TT: Hence me just vomiting out whatever happens to be in my mind, regardless of how crappy it sounds.   
TT: I was moreso curious as to why you had to stall your efforts to rescue her, not a slight against you personally.   
CT: |)=> ...I see.   
CT: |)=> Apology accepted, in any case.   
CT: |)=> Goodness knows I've said some callous and careless things in my own worry for my moirail.   
CT: |)=> You mentioned Jane? Is she one of your herd?   
TT: Yes, Jane. She was the parallel of John in the Alpha session, the Maid of Life, if that helps clear anything up.  
CT: |)=> Ah, she was the companion of yours Karkat mentioned- the one supposedly involved with Makara.  
TT: Yes, and she got captured during an operation recently.  
CT: |)=> Regardless she and your Ancestor achieved an incredible goal in killing the Observer as they did.  
TT: It doesn't feel like an achievement as we failed to bring her home.  
CT: |)=> Indeed. It's how I felt when we finally rescued Nepeta and I met her face-to-face at first it felt as if we had saved a stranger.  
CT: |)=> We saved her but failed at the same time.  
TT: Did she   
TT: Do you know what happened to her? What they did?  
CT: |)=> The Overseer was well know for his hatred of 'frivolous activities' such as roleplay, shipping, story telling and even emoticons.  
CT: |)=> Nepeta had great affection for these, furthered by her fusion with her Dancestor. She spend much of her time on our ship helping distract us, indulging in easy going pastimes, stories and games to help relieve stress and remind us that not everything in our life was full of betrayal, fighting, murder and torture.  
CT: |)=> That isn't to say she wasn't an accomplished fighter; of course not. It's just she could always see the lighter sides of things.  
TT: She sounds wonderful.   
CT: |)=> She was. Is. But she lost that piece of herself while enslaved.  
CT: |)=> The Overseer took great pains to 'remove' anything he deemed a defect and unfoaltunately most of Nepeta's attitude and personality became a target.  
CT: |)=> So he broke her, for want of a better word. Started to build her up as a 'productive member of the Oliveb100d caste.'  
TT: I've heard of such tactics, labeled 're-education' or by the more baser terms mind control. Predominately within cults, new age religion and whatnot.   
TT: Did they use psychics to alter her mind?   
CT: |)=> No; Terezi scanned her and detected nothing of the snort. They used tactics far more subtle than that without the use of mental powers; we were more used to the victims of the Subjugglators, most of whom had had their minds all but scoured to nothing.  
CT: |)=> At least they left a part of her; just not one of those horrible blanks. It's a kindness to kill them.   
TT: How long did it take you to rescue her? It sounds like they had a much broader window to work on her.   
TT: However I'm not   
TT: I'm not trying to accuse; the gods only fucking know we're in the same situation with Jane.   
TT: We know where she is and what's most likely happening to her. We just have no way to rescue her.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> It's horrible to be in such a situation.   
CT: |)=> What was worse was the f%t I was unamare she had been captured at first.  
CT: |)=> This was mostly due to the fact I had been arrested by the Legislacerator's and was in their grasping fronds when she and Captor were captured.   
CT: |)=> It was over three perigee's before I escaped their hooves alongside Pyrope, who blew her cover within the ranks to free me.  
CT: |)=> Even then no one told me about what happened.   
TT: They lied to you?   
CT: |)=> Not directly. They just did not tell me. I assumed they thought I would cause a stirrup if they informed me and explained I could do nothing.   
CT: |)=> Such silence between us, even between myself and Nepeta, was not uncommon; she, due to being an Oliveb100d, could move within the Empire with less scrutiny and I didn't wish to contact her incase I blew her cover on her mission.   
CT: |)=> It wasn't until Captor was freed from the Helmsman edu%tional docks did I realize they had been captured together.   
TT: And they chose Sollux over her?   
CT: |)=> It was a...   
CT: |)=> A logical choice.   
CT: |)=> Captor was at the highest risk of getting irreparable physical and mental harm inflicted on him.   
TT: Yes, I've seen reports of people who've tried rescusing Helmsmen, only to find their bodies so devoured by those tendrils they've died instantly upon detachment. The tentacles burrowed into their brains, their feet and hands struck off with more of those horrible things welded into them. It's horrendous.  
TT: Even attempting to communicate with Helmsmen, either through verbal or data, has all been met with failure. They're essentially dead in mind and soul.  
CT: |)=> So your species have attempted to save them?  
TT: Yes. What the Empire does to those trolls is cruetly upon a whole new level, one I had hoped I would never been witness to.  
TT: So I can see why they chose to save Sollux first.  
TT: But I don't think that helps.  
CT: |)=> No, it doesn't.  
CT: |)=> Even when we finally managed to get into the Overseer's pens and rescue her.  
CT: |)=> We were too late.  
TT: I  
TT: I'm sorry.  
CT: |)=> Thank you.   
CT: |)=> It does little to ease my guilt hoofever; I am her moirail. I was supposed to protect her, care for her and aid her. And instead I failed dismally and a part of her died.  
CT: |)=> Even now I struggle to help her.   
CT: |)=> Our moirallegiance has essentially been flipped; instead of her guiding and leading me, I am now guiding and leading her.  
CT: |)=> I am unsure at how successfully I am doing.  
CT: |)=> Bah, and here I am saddling you with my complaints.  
TT: It's quite alright, Equius.   
TT: If anything I am grateful that you are explaining so much to me; I do truly wish to be friends with you all.  
TT: And attacking each other like John and Karkat did isn't helping anyway.  
TT: Regardless, I know Roxy was eager to speak with Nepeta again since she had fond memories of Fefeta. That....sprite thing of hers.   
CT: |)=> Ugh. That.  
CT: |)=> Well unfoaltunately Nepeta has difficoalty recalling memories of such time.  
TT: I see...   
TT: A by product of being enslaved I presume?   
CT: |)=> E%actly.   
CT: |)=> Apparently it is one of their methods of breaking in their slaves and ensuring the destruction of hope or recognition of allies or friends.  
TT: Ah, so an isolation tactic? That does make disturbing sense; after all, I doubt the slaves would rebel if they have no memories of being free or amongst their loved ones.  
CT: |)=> Precisely. That is what happened with Nepeta and thus the cause of her difficoalty in recalling you or her time within the game and beyond.   
CT: |)=> Even events barely a sweep ago she finds hard to recall, so please do not feel offended if she is unable to remember anything concerning you. It gives her great distress and already she feels humilated and estranged from the others because of it.  
TT: Is that why she got her hackles up when I mentioned her previous affection for roleplay?  
CT: |)=> Yes.  
CT: |)=> Needless to say she now associates her roleplay, story telling and even her typical emoticons as extreme negatives and reminders of her punishments while in the slaver pens, hence her immediately leaving when you brought it up.   
TT: Ah shit.  
TT: Well that does explain why she got angry and left. I may be a Seer but even I can't See everything, hence my nice fuck up.  
CT: |)=> Our classes do tend be quite conv001ted, yes.   
CT: |)=> At least a Seer is straight forward in term and abilities, if not unreliable in many cases.   
TT: Tell me about it. Goodness knows my 'gut instincts' tend to be on the ball though, especially my suggestions for indulging in global defense and alien invasion drills. However actually attempting to focusing on a particular issue? I might as well forget about it.  
TT: But you are an Heir, correct? Like John.   
CT: |)=> Yes, and that is quite a rem%able memory you possess.   
TT: Ha!  
TT: Oh my memory isn't that impressive; it's just after the conclusion of Sburb I insisted we create references/remembrances for all of you. This was quite helpful as we all still had the history of our pesterlogs and I combined them with the knowledge I accumulated while on the Meteor trip.  
TT: Jade and John also contributed, especially since Jade had the additional knowledge of a First Guardian. Same with the Alpha members of our family.  
TT: So I must confess, even now I have another file open to yours.  
TT: "Equius Zahhak, Heir of Void. A Blueblood of extreme strength. Know for high amount of sweating, fondness for horses, machinery and racist attitudes. Also managed to out-rap Dave."  
TT: Just a small taste, but it's more or less the same for each.  
CT: |)=> While I am a blueb100d and have immense STRENGTH while still retaining my foalness for the e%quisite form of hoofbeasts and those who share their forms, as well as my hobby of machinery and robotics, I can firmly say I no longer give much a colt for the hemospectrum and the bigoted superiority found within it.   
TT: My, paint me impressed.  
TT: It seems you have gone through quite a bit of growth.  
CT: |)=> To be honest, I simply rewired my personality and e%c100ded those traits I and Nepeta deemed to be issues.  
TT: I  
TT: You what?  
TT: You rewired your brain?  
CT: |)=> Yes. I did so during the sweep we had to Conscription, due to my fusion with my Dancestor. As such I inherited his class, a Page.   
TT: I think we  
TT: I think we're having a bit of a communication barrier right now; you mentioned earlier Nepeta and her Dancestor 'fused' but I'm afraid I don't understand.  
TT: And how can you have _two_ classes?  
CT: |)=> Hmm.  
CT: |)=> I would assume you would've understood; Kanaya mentioned you telling her that you speculated you got your Seer visions from Doomed versions of yourself who merged with your main self. Likewise Jade Harley became a fusion of herself, a First Guardian and her sprite self.   
TT: Hmm. That does make some kind of sense.  
TT: Even now I get abrupt visions and dreams involving that place.  
TT: Though they are usually show casing my or my families numerous violent deaths.  
TT: But that doesn't explain how you have two classes, or what your Dancestors have to do with it.  
CT: |)=> Well as everyone was aware there was two sessions trolls attempted.   
CT: |)=> We failed both.   
CT: |)=> Essentially we became offcuts, irrelevant in the larger scheme of things and Doomed your first session by pro%y of our failures.  
CT: |)=> Hoofever when you humans successfully killed the Condesce and arranged the destruction of that 'Lord English' the Game had to do something with us.  
CT: |)=> I freely admit I had been prepared to simply be erased from e%istence- after all we had been given ample opportunties to fix our fuck ups and we pretty much just made everything worse.  
TT: Yes, you lot did seem to have a terrible run of things.  
CT: |)=> Indeed. At least the failures of your human sessions weren't made by your own behoofiours; it was just a result of us screwing up so badly.  
CT: |)=> But back to the topic at hoof- when you humans won we believe the Game decided to give us one final chance but at a cost.   
CT: |)=> The catch being we had to share it. Thus our Dancestors from the Dreambubbles were fused with us when we were returned to Alternia. A merger akin to your own fusion with your Doomed counterparts.  
TT: The difference however is the fact my Doomed selves were still me.  
TT: Your Dancestors were completely different people; it would be as if I was fused with Roxy upon completion of that horrid Game.  
TT: It must have been terribly confusing.  
CT: |)=> Indeed it was.  
CT: |)=> Especially those with e%treme differences found it immensely strange, aggravating and painful trying to adapt.  
TT: Ugh, I can just imagine. I bet Karkat had a lot of fun with that, considering his animosity with his Dancestor.  
CT: |)=> Ha, that he did. The enraged neighing could be heard hives away whenever he had a temper tantrum at himself.  
TT: But you adapted quickly compared with him?  
CT: |)=> Yes, but that was manely because Horuss himself wasn't particularly...   
CT: |)=> Hmm.  
CT: |)=> It's difficolt to put in words; he was more akin to a blank page with no STRONG traits or personality. I assume that was moreso due to his aspect and class than anything.  
TT: A Page of Void.  
TT: Hmm, there's been quite a bit of speculation and debate between my family over how the classes and aspects work.  
TT: We do have the advantage of having both a Void player and a Page, and thus have a...vague grasp of the concept, from what we gathered from Jake and Roxy's input.  
TT: If I had to guess a Page of Void is someone who is able to create someone of incredible potential from nothing, but it is the longest and most arduous process of any class before they gain any real power. And coupled with the Void, which is nothing, they can create something beyond compare from nothing with enough time.  
TT: Not like that describe isn't incredibly vague or anything.  
CT: |)=> Hmm, that's one way to put it.   
CT: |)=> And yes, it was very vague and an immense annoyance to try and decipher on my own.   
CT: |)=> Hoofever what worked in my favour was that Horuss had attempted to remake himself; and failed.  
CT: |)=> Instead he became an insane husk, for want of a better word, full of broken dreams and missed aspirations. His madness from succumbing to the Void left a blank page with only a few disjointed words and %oed traits etched onto it. As such, I had much less of another person to compete with, unlike my fellow herd members.  
TT: That actually sounds...  
TT: Incredibly horrible, what happened to him.  
CT: |)=> It was and I come incredibly close to falling into the Void and becoming nothing like Horuss did, if not for Nepeta's direct involvement.  
TT: She helped you?  
CT: |)=> Extremely so. If not for her class and aspect I have no doubt I would've gone mad like Horuss originally did.   
TT: I see...  
TT: She was predominately a Rogue of Heart?  
TT: Heart which literally means soul.  
TT: While Rogue's 'steal for the benefits of others.'  
TT: So she took your soul and kept you sane?  
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> And because my soul belonged to her through our mutual devotion to each other she was able to keep me tethered, to reign me in whenever my descent into the Void began to erase who I was.   
CT: |)=> Without her I would have gone mad and became nothing.   
CT: |)=> Instead she held tightly to my soul and helped remind me of who I am and how I could better myself.   
CT: |)=> As such, we agreed to remove severe issues from my personality, especially traits that lead to such misery for myself and those I care about.  
TT: From what Kanaya told me your...respect for the hemospectrum lead to your death.  
CT: |)=> Indeed. It was a colossal failure on my account and not only did I die it also lead to the death of the person I cared most about.  
CT: |)=> So I removed it when I rewrote myself with the abyss within me. Same with my adherence to royalty and disdain for the so-called 'lowercastes'.   
CT: |)=> Even if it was a monotonous, tiring exercise since so many things whickered to me from the the void.  
TT: So there were many things you could've made into your new self?  
CT: |)=> Yes; the Void holds the potential for the creation of anything and there are quite a few things in existence. Hence it being such a hard process not to loose myself amongst it all. That is what occurred to Horuss; he grazed too deep and had no one to pull him free so thus he became nothing.   
TT: That sounds like a terrible fate.  
TT: I had a brief taste of such raw emptiness when I strayed too close to the whispers of the Horrorterrors and essentially became my opposite with aspect and class.   
TT: It was....disturbing to have such a lack of agency.  
CT: |)=> Indeed; without Nepeta anchoring me and reminding me of who I was I have no doubt I would have become a mad empty husk.   
CT: |)=> Because of that I will never be able to repay the debt I owe to her and why my failure to protect her is so damaging.  
CT: |)=> But regardless of how she became affected or how disjointed she becomes that is why I will always stand with her.  
CT: |)=> Even with my previous dismal failure to protect her.   
TT: No one is omnipresent.  
TT: Well, apart from First Guardians but they are now an extinct species.  
TT: And you tried. In the end, that is the best we can do.  
TT: But I doubt that helps.  
CT: |)=> Not really.   
CT: |)=> But hopefully that clears ups some things and explains her...attitude.  
CT: |)=> Because I do wish for her to remember the happier aspects of her past, since when we first were restored she recalled fondly her interactions with you humans, especially Roxy who she labeled a friend.   
TT: I see.  
TT: Well, if you wish it I can speak to Roxy and explain the situation to her; she has been hoping to speak with Nepeta and Feferi ever since we contacted you.  
TT: However sleep deprivation and alcohol is taking its toll, so I'm not sure how coherent she will be.  
CT: |)=> It can wait, then. But yes, I would appreciate it if you approached your Ancestor about Nepeta's current...issue with being reminded of her previous state.  
CT: |)=> Because she does wish to speak to the other Lalonde. She just views herself as unapproachable.   
TT: Hmm.  
TT: Well I do believe Nepeta communicating with others should help and Roxy knows how to be tactful.  
TT: So I shall pass on the word and hopefully some things can sort themselves out.  
CT: |)=> Thank you.   
CT: |)=> I will try and convince Nepeta to contact her, or you again in the future.   
CT: |)=> But I can promise nothing.  
TT: That is all I ask.  
TT: Because I was speaking the truth when I said I wish for us to be friends.  
TT: We have enemies on all sides; we don't need to deliberately burn down bridges amongst ourselves.  
CT: |)=> Indeed.   
CT: |)=> For quite a few of us are fed up with this constant violence our species indulge in and just want it to stop.   
CT: |)=> But having our species survive it would be e%tremely welcomed.  
TT: That goes both ways.  
TT: But for now, I have other things to do.  
TT: Thank you for the civilized conversation, Equius. And good luck.  
CT: |)=> Farewell, Rose Lalonde.   
  
canteringTorricellian [CT]  has ceased trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   


* * *

  
archedictyonTyphoon [AT]  has begun trolling galacticGaia [GG]   
  
AT: uM, h1 tHERE,   
AT: jADE?  
GG: hey tavros!  
GG: nice to know youre alive :)   
AT: yEAH bE1NG aL1VE 1S pRETTY gREAT }:)   
GG: yup! though currently being in the middle of a world-wide invasion by a bunch of murderous assholes really ruined my month :/   
GG: its a load of shit is what it is!  
AT: yEAH 1 cOMPLETELY aGREE,   
AT: l1KE 1 uNDERSTAND wHY kARKAT aSKED fEFER1 tO wA1T, bUT 1T'S sT1LL A cRAPPY s1TUAT1ON,  
AT: eSPECIALLY fOR yOU gUYS wHO hAVE tO dEAL wITH aLL tHE sH1TTY rEPERCUSS1ONS,   
GG: tell me about it  
GG: like i read the whole exchange between john and karkat and what a load of shit it was!!  
GG: i mean yeah john got pissy real fast but karkat seems to be the same sour little fucker he always was!   
GG: telling us to fuckin sit around and die!  
GG: douche >:((  
AT: uHH, yEAH fEFER1 wAS pRETTY fUCK1NG mAD wHEN sHE rEAD 1T,   
AT: 1 tH1NK hE wAS jUST fREAK1NG oUT aND gOT mAD aS a rESULT,   
AT: hE'S nOT tHAT gOOD aT mEET1NG nEW pEOPLE, 1F 1T'S jUST oNE oN oNE, bECAUSE hE'S uSED tO b1G cROWDS aND fEFER1 1S uSUALLY wITH h1M wHEN hE sPEAKS tO jUST oNE oR tWO pEOPLE,   
GG: soooo, what??? he got like stage fright and turned asshole because of it?   
GG: like...wow :/  
AT: hA hA hA, yEAH 1T sOUNDS k1NDA dUMB wHEN yOU sAY 1T l1KE tHAT, bUT 1T'S hOW hE 1S,   
AT: bUT tHEN kARKAT cAN bE k1NDA dUMB };)  
GG: pffft yeah!  
GG: or maybe its just an heir thing???  
GG: lol us witches seem to be spending out time running around sorting their messes out hahaha XD  
AT: hA aRAD1A sAYS tHE sAME, eSPEC1ALLY s1NCE sHE'S hALF mA1D nOW, aLONG w1TH kANAYA,   
AT: sHE'S aLWAYS mAD wHEN oNE oF uS fUCKS uP aND 1S l1KE ,,1'M a mA1D bUT 1'M nOT a dAMN lUSUS cLEAN tHAT cRAP uP yOURESELF,,  
GG: half maid?? :/  
AT: oH yEAH wE l1KE fUSED w1TH oUR dANCESTORS sO wE gOT tHE1R cLASSES   
AT: k1NDA l1KE yOU aND yOURE lUSUS, tHE f1RST gUARD1AN?  
GG: oh like when i ascended to godtier with my jadesprite self!  
GG: wow sounds like you guys have been through a lot! :oo  
GG: does that mean you're godtier now?  
GG: ooooohhh! does that mean you have those really pretty sparkly wings aradia had??? :DDDDD  
AT: hA hA,, nO oNLY tHE gODT1ER'S aL1VE bUT tHE t1ME eVERYTH1NG rESET rEMA1NED gODT1ERS, aND tHERE w1NGS,  
AT: aND bY tHE eND aRAD1A wAS tHE oNLY gODT1ER aL1VE sO sHE kEPT hER gODT1ER aND hER w1NGS,   
AT: bUT wE aLL gOT oUR dANCESTORS cLASSES aND aRAD1A sAYS wE cAN gET aS pOWERFUL aS oNE 1F wE wORK oN 1T,   
GG: aww so only one set of sparkly wings :(((  
AT: nO 1'VE gOT w1NGS }:)   
GG: but you werent godtier?  
GG: also dead :/  
AT: yEAH bUT mY aNCESTOR hAD w1NGS aND sO d1D rUF1OH,   
AT: wHO,,,wAS k1NDA l1KE mY aNCESTOR?   
AT: tHOUGH mERG1NG wITH hIM k1NDA sHOWED hE wAS aCTUALLY a mEGA aSSHOLE }:(   
AT: jUST h1D 1T bETTER tHAN tHE oTHERS,  
GG: okay so your dancestor was shit!!  
GG: back to sparkly butterfly wings!  
AT: hA hA oKAY }:)   
AT: aPPARENTLY 1 wAS jUST a lATE bLOOMER, 1N tERMS oF mY w1NGS,   
AT: l1KE mY aNCESTOR hAD h1S w1NGS oN hATCH1NG bUT m1NE gREW 1N wHEN 1 pUPATED 1NTO aN aDULT,   
GG: ooo do they sparkle? do they smell really good? :D  
AT: yEAH tHEY sPARKLE }:)   
AT: aND tEREZ1 sAYS tHEY sMELL rEALLY n1CE, bUT nOT aS gOOD aS aRAD1A'S aPPARENTLY,   
GG: boo i wish we had wings!  
GG: we cant fly >:((  
GG: guess thats a good thing you guys had wings so you could carry on flying afterwards  
AT: yEAH fLY1NG 1S gREAT!  
AT: tHOUGH 1T mAKES mE aND aRAD1A tHE b1GGEST tARGETS aFTER kARKAT aND fEFER1,  
AT: tHE wHOLE ,,yOU d1RTY lOWBLOODS dONT dESERVE w1NGS,, sH1T tHE eMP1RE sQUAWKBEAST vOM1TS oUT,   
GG: bunch of jealous assholes! >:(  
AT: yEAH pRETTY mUCH,  
AT: bUT yEAH aPART fROM aLL tHE k1LL1NG aND eMP1RE cONSTANTLY tRY1NG tO k1LL uS, 1'M gLAD tO bE aL1VE aGAIN,  
GG: hehe, sounds like aradia!   
AT: yEAH, aRAD1A 1S gREAT }:)   
GG: ooo got a crush on her?   
AT: wELL sHE 1S mO1RA1LS w1TH mE, sO 1 gUESS sO?   
GG: aww!   
GG: that sounds so cute!   
GG: two fairy aliens frolicking together!   
AT: 1 gUESS,   
GG: wait, how did that horrible bitch take it? >:(   
AT: uHH, wHO?   
GG: you know, that spiteful asshole who was really mean to you all the time? also she was apparently behind knocking me unconscious all the fucking time when i was younger >:(((   
GG: like bitch much >:(  
AT: wHAT, oH yOU mEAN vRISKA?   
AT: yEAH tHE sUBJUGGALTORS gOT hER a wH1LE aGO, bUT sHE dEC1DED tO fUCK oFF aND gO oN hER oWN wHEN wE lEFT aLTERN1A dUR1NG cONSCR1PT1ON,   
GG: so gamzee beat her up?   
AT: 1 dON'T kNOW, wE oNLY eVEN kNEW sHE gOT cAUGHT wHEN tEREZ1 gOT hER sEVERED aRM 1N tHE mA1L,   
GG: eww yuck!   
GG: why would they do that?   
AT: pROBABLY tHOUGHT 1T wAS fUNNY,   
AT: 1 dUNNO, cLOWNS aRE wE1RD,   
GG: were you and gamzee ever friends?   
AT: yEAH, hE wAS nEVER mEAN tO mE aND 1 tHOUGHT oF hIM aS oNE,   
GG: apparently he beat up kanaya and karkat :/   
AT: wELL tO bE fA1R tHEY k1NDA wENT dOWN tHERE lOOK1NG fOR a F1GHT,   
AT: aRAD1A aND fEFER1 tOLD tHEM nOT tO bUT tHEY d1DN'T l1STEN aND gOT tHE1R aSSES hANDED tO tHEM,   
GG: ://   
GG: talk shit get hit i guess haha!   
GG: anyway im pretty sure thats what happened last time he died :///  
GG: like in the game he wouldnt stop sassing jane while she was all brainwashed and creepy then got stabbed   
AT: yEAH, hE nEEDS tO sTOP pROVOK1NG pEOPLE,, }:|   
AT: bUT aNYWAY 1T wAS gOOD tALK1NG tO yOU aGA1N, jADE,,   
GG: yeah same here!   
GG: i hope all of this clusterfuck is sorted out soon :(   
GG: im fed up with death everywhere!   
AT: wELL wE'RE oN cOURSE fOR yOUR pLANET bUT wE aREN'T tOO sURE wHEN wE'LL gET tHERE,   
AT: bUT fEFER1 hAS a lOT oF pRACT1CE, sO hOPEFULLY eVERYTH1NG w1LL wORK oUT,   
GG: haha fishfight to the death! :))  
GG: but we killed that horrid bitch once so we can do it again!   
GG: well  
GG: i mean i was kinda unconsious for it but whatever!!   
GG: this time itll be different!   
AT: hA, yOU sT1LL a bETTER tRACK rECORD tHAN mE,   
AT: bUT hOPEFULLY wE cAN aRR1VE sOON aND sORT aLL tH1S sH1T oUT }:)   
AT: bECAUSE 1 wANNA l1VE tO sEE yOU gUYS tH1S t1ME,   
GG: hehe, me too! :)   
AT: sEE yOU lATER,  
GG: okay bye!   
  
archedictyonTyphoon [AT]  has ceased trolling galacticGaia [GG] 

* * *

  
garroteConstance [GC]  has begun trolling theoreticalThermophile [TT]   
  
GC: H3y th3r3 Ros3!  
GC: How's l1f3 b33n tr34ting you?   
GC: H3h3h3, w3ll I m34n b3for3 th3 whol3 Alt3rn14n 1nv4s1on th1ng!  
GC: 'C4us3 1 b3t th4t compl3t3ly fuck3d th1ngs up. >8[  
GC: But h3y, w3'r3 k1nd4 1n th3 s4m3 coon, you know?  
GC: 3mp1r3 b31ng 4 m4ss1v3 p41n 1n th3 nook as usu4l, r4ndom-4ss trolls runn1ng about fuck1ng th1ngs up.  
GC: 4nd you'r3 4 S33r l1k3 m3 so you prob4bly h4v3 3v3ryon3 4nd th31r m3owb34st go1ng 'Ooo t3ll us wh4t to you! Us3 th4t s1ght to fuck1ng f1nd 3v3ryth1ng out!'  
GC: L1k3 holy grublo4f do3s th4t g3t 4nnoy1ng f4st. >8[  
GC: 1t's k1nd4 'th1s sh1t do3sn't com3 w1th 4 fuck1ng 1nstruct1on m4nu4l'! you know?  
GC: H3h3h3h3!  
GC: ...   
GC: >8[   
GC: Ros3.   
GC: Com3 on don't l34v3 m3 h4ng1ng!  
GC: 1 st1ll r3m3mb3r 4ll th4t br1ght c4ndy blood wr4pp3d up 1n d3l1c1ous fru1ty or4ng3 rob3s 4nd t4nt4l1z1ng sw33t gr4p3 t3xt!   
GC: 4nd you l4st s4w m3 wh3n 1 w4s 4 n1ce p1l3 of mush3d up t34l b3rr13s 4nd pulpy bon3s h3h3h3h3! >8P   
GC: Good t1m3s, r1ght?   
GC: ...   
GC: Com3 on!   
GC: Just 4 jok3, ok4y?   
GC: Look, sorry 1f 1 ups3t you! Just try1ng to jog th3 m3mory.  
TT: Wrong Rose, dear.   
GC: Wh4t.   
TT: You're speaking to the wrong Rose Lalonde.   
TT: I am not the one who participated in Sburb. Instead I was in the Alpha session and consequently died before the Game was played.   
TT: Try speaking to the other 'TT' on your contacts, I am sure she will remember...   
TT: Someone like yourself.   
GC: 1   
GC: >8[   
GC: 4R3 YOU FUCK1NG S3R1OUS.   
GC: Why th3 fuck 4m 1 th3 only on3 th1s 1s h4pp3n1ng to?? >8[   
GC: Th1s 1s tot4l hoofb34st sh1t, 1s wh4t 1t 1s!   
  
garroteConstance [GC]  has ceased trolling theoreticalThermophile [TT]   
  
TT: Hmm.   
TT: What a rude young lady.   
  
theoreticalThermophile [TT]  has logged off!


	23. Cleanliness is next to godliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamjane huggles by the lovely Possum <3 http://procrastinationpossum.tumblr.com/post/116166088255/i-was-torn-over-his-expression-hnghh

Jane hated crying; she was an ugly crier with her face becoming red and blotchy, her nose getting clogged with mucus and half-suffocating her. Her breaths would come in thick wheezes and snorts while she would shudder violently in tune with her sobbing. Even in front of her family she hated crying (especially since the Roxys were sympathetic criers) since it made her feel frail and weak, like someone who needed constant protection or was too useless to control herself.

She hated feeling so broken and helplessly vulnerable. She'd been through enough of that in the horrible Game.

But all that self-scorn was lost underneath the massive break of her emotional dam, a roaring flood of the fear and pain and grief the last month had slowly built up inside her. The fear for herself, for her family, for all of humanity. The pain of knowing she had somehow caused the death of yet another friend over a decade ago and the worry and panic she must be currently causing her family. The grief of somehow knowing that woman in the portrait was lost to her.

Jane lost her struggle to hold back more tears so instead of trying to fight off her grief or keep it bottled up she just broke down, slumping against the broad chest of the Grand Highblood as she sobbed, her body beginning to shake violently.

It was a hysterical crying that blinded her to everything else, hot tears running down her cheeks and dripping onto the Capricorn symbol she was pressed up against as inhuman noises erupted from her throat. 

Even Gamzee moving, effortlessly lifting her up in his thick arms, didn't interrupt her sobbing. She was too busy crying to pay attention to the fact the massive troll had plodded over to the massive pile of skulls and sat down upon the bones. One of his arms settled down around Jane's waist with the other carefully patting her, running from her head down to her back in firm, rhythmic strokes as he settled down onto the pile.

She was all but collapsed against his chest at that point, tucked up onto his lap as she wept, incoherent words occasionally escaping from her. Whenever Jane thought she was about to get a grip on her emotions she would suddenly be struck by another wave of grief and loss and went back to crying so hard she thought she was about to die.

By the end of it all Jane was exhausted, her eyes sore and gritty, her midriff aching from her convulsions. Gamzee was still carefully patting her, continuing to do it even as her crying slowly began to ebb into small sniffles. He was letting out a low crooning sound Jane felt more than heard, a deep soothing noise that slowly caused Jane to relax and easing out of the tight ball she'd curled into on his lap.

Her muscles burned and twitched as she slowly stretched up, still lying on his chest. Her eyes were gritty and swollen and she was unable to breath through her clogged nose but the horrible knot of fear and helpless that had been slowly festering inside her had largely dissipated, leaving Jane feeling lightheaded and vaguely dizzy. 

For a long while she remained as such, tucked up on his lap with her hair just brushing his jaw and legs curled up against her chest as she leaned against him. With her whole hand she idly began to trace the long curving loop of the Capricorn symbol etched on the left side of his striped shirt even as Gamzee's own hand continued to pat her, as if she were a oddly shaped lapdog. She could feel the tips of his claws along her skin as he stroked her, along with the rough callous dotted along his broad palm.

Eventually she tried to speak but all she managed to do was let out a raspy croak. Sniffing she carefully wiped her eyes with her right hand, her left still carefully hidden underneath the oversized shirt. 

_At least that's out of my system,_ Jane thought blearily, her head feeling woozy and oddly stuffy. What a sorry state she must've presented herself as to Gamzee; first being tortured followed by her deliberately ripping off her own hand and most likely presenting herself as a mad woman then he later found her as a hysterical crying wreak on the floor. Even now he apparently had decided to remain silent, just continued to pat her in gentle, rhythmic strokes.

 _Well obviously,_ she snarked at herself, _last thing he probably wants is me loosing my marbles again, considering out last few encounters either involved a near fight to the death or gratuitous torture and now I just finished having a good incoherent crying fit. Oh gods above and beyond, how did I get in such a mess?_

Though sleep called to her Jane battered the urge aside. She'd spent too long sleeping or being unconscious lately and Gamzee seemed to have a habit of leaving whenever she was out of it. So despite her wobbly limbs and cloudy head she slowly rearranged herself on his lap, feeling ridiculously small. Gamzee however seemed willing to let her shift about and a small part of Jane's mind pointed out all the massive troll needed was bite her once with those over-sized teeth and he would probably take her head clean off. Little wonder he had no issue with her squirming about on him. Even though she was close to his unprotected throat she doubted she had the strength to rip it out before he snapped her in half.

 _Stop it,_ the Maid chided herself. She rested a hand upon his chest and pushing herself upright, still sitting sideways on his broad lap with her face turned to the side and studying the boring grey wall before her. For some reason she felt too nervous to look him in the face, even as she mentally berated herself, _If he wanted you dead he would've left you in that horrible little monster's torture room. You're just working yourself up into another hysteria fit so knock it off. Now stop acting like a shy schoolgirl and say hello to him or something._

Straightening up, Jane turned around so she was looking right at Gamzee. She blinked, noting he still had his own eyes shut as if he were dozing. Hoping to get his attention she tapping his chest armour with her nails as she asked, "Can you talk?"

Almost immediately Gamzee stopped patting her, his hand resting just over the sealed wound on her naked back. His eyes opened, vibrant purple irises bright amongst the pitch black and bone white of his decorated face.

For a long while he didn't say anything and Jane could feel her face and ears burning with embarrassment for her clumsy remark. So _that_ was the first thing she said him that wasn't incoherent yelling and during a potential fight to the death. Her self-consciousness turned into anger and she felt her shoulders stiffen. Oh well, at least this wasn't as bad as their first conversation which involved dead people and explosions.

Gamzee leaned forward slightly until his face was scant inches from hers but Jane swallowed her nervousness down and instead spoke to him again, this time more clearly and calmly, "Can you speak? Would you mind saying something?"

He just blinked at her and after a long while Jane momentarily broke eye contact with him to study his face with blatant interest. The smiling jagged mask of white paint, the three long diagonal scars. Her gaze shifted down to his pointed ears half-hidden in his thick hair and to Jane's surprised he had rows of tiny fins attached to the lower lobes of his ears. They were nowhere as elaborate as a seadwellers fins but the membrane stretched between the tiny spines of the miniscule fins were the same colour as his symbol. Her eyes finally returned to his own, studying the yellow scleras surrounding his bright purple iris.

 _His irises didn't used to be purple, and he never used to have ear-fins,_ Jane noted with some surprise. Did trolls eye colour change when they became adults? Did all trolls get off shot fins when they were adults? She knew Gamzee's blood caste was one below the seadwellers so he could've had genetically stunted fins, a half-formed offshoot. And she could've swore his eyes had always been black, not purple. Did they-

"Something."

Gamzee talking broke her out of her musings, the deep baritone causing her to jump. Her hand dug into his chest briefly as she blinked, trying to register what he said, thrown a little off guard with how much his voice had changed.

"You what? Is that all you have to-" she broke off, realizing he had decided to answer her question literally.

She stared at him, lips pursed; humour. She didn't really know how to react to that. Well, she supposed it was better than the silent treatment or him attacking her. So at least that part of him with his oddball humour she remembered remained true. But how about the rest?

"Do you...Gamzee, do you remember me?" She finally asked, feeling absolutely awkward for asking so bluntly.

He shrugged, nearly knocking her off his lap, "Kinda? Pretty sure you're my bottled up lifey star monkey Jane from back in that mirthless shithole game we played. Fuck that noise, who ever thought that was a good idea?" Gamzee leaned back against the pile of skulls, making a face as he continued, "Though if you ain't that Janey Maid then this shit is gonna get all up and fucking awkward pretty fast but whatever."

"I see..." Jane was a mixture of thrilled and amused; thrilled he did remember her and amused he didn't really seem too bothered that he might've gotten the wrong person so she asked, "You aren't sure it's me? I do admit I've changed quite a bit, but no way near as large a transformation as you did. Even your horns are fairly different from what they used to be."

Gamzee let out a loud snort of breath, cause her to wrinkle her nose, "I dunno, it's kinda hard to tell you humans apart."

"How?" she asked incredulously.

"Well you ain't got fuckin' horns, or blood colour or even a motherfucking symbol; how the shit am I supposed to figure where you're at? Then again, figured for a long time you were just some miraculous shit my thinkpan was pulling on me."

Jane perked up at that, wanting to keep him talking but at the same time just wanting to get off the horrible giant pile of dead trolls. So with a bit of squirming she twisted around and promptly half-fell half-jumped off his lap, giving a soft grunt as she awkwardly landed on the ground. She winced as the cold from the metal floor seeped into her bare feet and she barely managing to keep her balance and avoid faceplanting.

"I'm sorry, it's just that pile is..." She gestured towards it with her free hand, struggling to keep back a tide of morbid thoughts.

"Huh, too soon?" Gamzee remained sprawled out on it, seemingly unconcerned. The pile was massive enough that even Gamzee, being at least fourteen feet tall with thick limbs and heavy set form was able to comfortably lie back on it with room to spare.

"Too soon? Too soon? What do you mean? Also, what about all of _this_?" she gestured to the room at large, her breathing beginning to quicken. Irritated she tugged at the loop of ribbon around her neck from her arm sling, suddenly feeling ridiculously embarrassed about her attire. What a sight she must be; wounded, covered in her own blood, hair a complete birds nest and wearing one of his shirts that was so large it was more like a short dress on her.

Gamzee's quiet laughing caught her off guard, a light chuckling escaping the massive troll as he looked at her with amusement. For some reason her rage increased at that and she snapped at him, "And just what the heck are you laughing about?"

"You."

If Jane had something on hand she would've thrown it at him, "Me? And just what is so funny about me?"

"Nah, nah! I ain't all laughing at you....it's just like you all getting your fiery on, even though you're running around in just my shirt."

"Excuse me, it's not like you lot gave me a choice! Taking all my clothes and stealing everything in my sylladex like a bunch of thieving hooligans. Well, I mean they did leave my underwear on and my necklace so I'm not simply running around in my birthday suit, so I guess that's a slight shade of a bonus but still. That is not the point."

"A birthday suit, huh? Sounds fuckin' mysterious as shit," Gamzee said with amusement lacing his voice as he leaned back against the skulls, a grin spreading across his face.

"Would you stop looking at me like that," she snapped at him, feeling a blush starting to slowly creep along her cheeks.

"Like all what?"

"Like, like that!" Jane fumbled, gesturing towards the still-grinning troll. 

With a snort Gamzee push himself up from the pile of bones and lumbered towards her, claws clacking rhythmically on the steel floor. Despite the fact he towered over her she continued to glare at him, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. He halted less than a feet from her, a contemplative expression on his painted face. Suddenly he reached out and gently tipped her head back with a clawed finger, studying her features with extreme intensity. 

Jane felt herself begin fidget as he carried on staring at her, wondering if she should do something while trying to ignore the sensation of long claws at her throat. Before she could make up her mind, he spoke in a fond voice, "Aww, then how are these gander bulbs supposed to all up and take you in? Running about all beat up and in my shirt but still all tiny and pretty and fuckin' fierce."

Jane flushed a mottled red, both embarrassed and flattered. It was like she was her flustered sixteen year old self all over again.

With a quick movement she slapped aside his hand and started to pace the room, feeling awkward and out of sorts before she snapped at him, "Flattery will get you nowhere, buster. I don't know why you're taking this so nonchalantly."

"Taking what, huh?" he leaned back on his heels, teeth bared in a smile. Stupid easygoing giant trolls. At least he still seemed at laid back as she remembered but now it was just angering her.

"Meeting each other again, you doofus!" she said, exasperated, "Aren't you, oh I don't know, overwhelmed? Because I'm am _this_ close to going off the handle right now and I have had it with bouts of crying and hysteria lately."

Seeming unconcerned Gamzee started swatting randomly at the air next to him. She stared at him, confused, when a large bottle of Faygo suddenly appeared in his hand, the drink being the same length as her entire arm. Bemused she watched as he snapped off the cap before taking a massive gulp and draining nearly a quarter it. He took another swig before he responded to her, "Why would I? Either you were all scuttling about somewhere or not and my thinkpan was just being a shit."

Jane recalled his earlier comments so she couldn't help but ask, "You thought I was a hallucination?" 

A pang of sympathy soothed some of her frustration as she recalled Rose's comments about Highblood trolls having high risks of psychosis, including hallucinations and delusions. _How horrible it must be to not even be able to trust your own mind._

Looking unconcerned Gamzee shrugged, taking another slurp of his drink, "Yeah, ain't the first time, so whatever. Figured this thinkpan miracles were the good kind, so ain't even too fussed if they were real or not after awhile."

"But what about your friends?" Jane asked, hugging herself with her whole arm, "Surely they told you I was real?"

Gamzee growled at that, a deep vicious snarl that echoed around the room and causing her to jump slightly. His long claws dug into the Faygo bottle as he replied, a sharp bite in his voice, "They're a bunch of heretic fuckers who ain't got a motherfuckin' clue. So yeah, they can just fuck off and go get gutted in one of my Carnivals."

Jane didn't really know how to react to that. From what she could understand he wasn't on good terms with his friends anymore. Was that why he was with the Empire? Or did they join? Or were they all dead? Or perhaps they tried to kill him? Jane could honestly say that if she hadn't had her family around for support she would've gotten a bit cranky and potentially homicidal herself.

However rather than trying to go after that can of worms mentioning his friends seem to be she decided to latch onto another thing, "Your Carnivals? I seen those things used before on Earth. More like a horrible bloodbath."

Gamzee gave a loud snort but to her relief his grip relaxed on the bottle, "Slaughter house, actually. I can take you there for a gander bulbin' if you wanna."

The Maid gave a huff; great, now she was remember all the times she couldn't understand hide nor hair of what Gamzee was talking about due to his odd lingo, "I would rather pass on that, thank you very much. But I know you Subjugglator's have a rather pronounced interest in Carnivals. Even the human ones, which you trolls have been making a quite the nuisance of yourselves. By which I mean rampant alien abduction."

"Oh we ain't all that bad," Gamzee snorted.

Jane arched an eyebrow, "Really? Because a week ago I got numerous reports about circuses and magician acts being abducted all across the globe. Not to mention the entire Cirque Du Soleil company abruptly vanishing, to which we are quite sure you lot are responsible for."

Gamzee fidgeted slightly, "Yeah well, those motherfuckers are real good at pulling all that clown shit, you know? Entertaining watching you star monkeys flip about and getting your carnival on when you're like the tiniest mother fuckers ever."

"So you abduct them because they're good at their jobs? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Later Jane would dwell on how a fourteen-foot alien clown managed to look so much like a guilty ten-year-old caught stealing cookies but right now she was glaring at Gamzee even as he grumbled, "Well, we feed them pretty good."

"You...feed them," she said flatly. Of course that's the thing Gamzee hastens to reassure her about, not the fact his clowns were abducting people and using them as amusements.

Gamzee shrugged, rolling his massive shoulders as he said, "Yeah and all like the other dead humans or nothing."

"Are you serious?" Jane balked, expression disgusted as she asked, "Are you saying you feed human prisoners other dead people?"

He looked confused, "No, I said we all didn't, why would we do that? You humans get all sick and puking out if you eat each other," he said, helpfully miming himself vomiting at the end and nearly upending his bottle of Faygo. 

"Only if you consume the brain and liver-Ugh! No, I have already had this conversation with Jade before and once was enough! And quite frankly I do not wish to know how you came about that information."

Gamzee burst out laughing at that, a stomach-deep laughter punctuated with loud honk-like snorts. Jane just intensified her glare to which he hastily turned his loud honking laughter into awkward coughing.

"Well I am pleased as punch you find cannibalism and circus abduction so bloody hilarious-"

"Why you lot all give shit load of cares about that? What you fuckin' call it- cannibalism? The shit that even mean?"

"It's when you eat your own kind," Jane answered tersely, folding her arm across her chest. Underneath the shirt she grimaced as she felt the wrapped-up stump of her left hand brush against her side. She frowned, suddenly remember what Dave told her about trolls; they were a race of cannibals whose main diet were essentially baby trolls or 'grubs'. She gagged slightly, pressing a hand to her mouth. No wonder they didn't have a word for it since it was just the default for their species.

Gamzee meanwhile simply looked thoughtful for a while before suddenly drowning down the last of the Faygo in one big gulp. He licked his lips before tossing the empty bottle onto the skull pile. Jane was tempted to ask if they could go to another room since the skulls were creeping her out, but she wasn't exactly in a position to demand anything from him. While it did seem like Gamzee remembered her and even seemed to like cuddling her earlier whose to say that wasn't on the Condesce's order? It seemed like the perfect tactic; get her calm and at ease then suddenly spring some horrible trap on her or try and squeeze her for information.

Jane was tempted to stay silent about it, especially since Gamzee seemed more than content to go back to mute mode, but she knew if she didn't ask the questions gnawing at her mind the paranoia would just fester inside her.

"Did the Condesce order you to save me?" Jane asked, a sharp edge to her voice, "Is that why it took you so long to find me when I was in that sadist little monster's room? Or why you attacked me first? And why did you bring me here? I think these are your rooms, but why would she allow you to take me in here?"

An odd expression crossed Gamzee's face, his lip curling up to show long white teeth. Jane felt a shiver of primal fear roll down her back but she refused to back down, continuing to glare up at him with her chin jutted out.

For a long moment they watched each other; Gamzee with his jagged teeth bared and Jane with her eyes narrowed before Gamzee grimaced, rubbing at his temple with a hand and breaking eye contact.

Jane's scowl deepened; she wouldn't let him go back into silence mode. She needed those questions answered or she'd brood on the issue and probably attack or start screaming at him. While Jane was no Seer she didn't really see either of those outcomes having positive results.

Finally Gamzee gave a loud groan, dragging a hand down his face and smearing his already jagged facepaint. An expression of deep frustration was crossed his face and he dropped his hand, the yellow of his scleras shifting to a bloody orange. 

"Look, I ain't taking orders from her- at least not on this fuckin' mucilage shitbit," Gamzee growled with an obvious bite in his tone.

Jane didn't let it cower her, instead snapping out "She's your Empress though, isn't she? And you're a member of her illustrious Empire," at the hulking troll, not bothering to keep the bitterness from her voice.

"Well yeah..." he grumbled, the last word dragging out in a deep exhale. Jane was close enough to him his breath ruffled her hair and she wrinkled her nose as the syrupy-sweet smell of Faygo mixed with carrion assaulted her nostrils. However she didn't let that distract her from the topic at hand.

"So you _do_ obey her. Did she tell you to come speak to me? To take me away and act the savior?" By the end Jane was all but spitting the words at him, anger, doubt and fear consolidating deep in her gut like a ball of poison.

He snarled, the noise echoing nosily throughout the room. His clawed hands were twitching at his sides and he was shifting restlessly as he replied in a low controlled voice devoid of anger, "I ain't giving you static noise; the fuckin' overreaching fish isn't giving me carp with you, 'cause she ain't giving an absolute fuck what comes out of Abutor's river of rainbow room unless it's all the gifts and shit he tries to pander on her with."

Jane snorted, "Oh that's comforting, so he could've given the Condesce my severed hand as a wonderful little gift. Then again the little creep went on a disturbing tangent about 'gander bulbs' and how he had the largest collection in the Empire. But that is besides the point; you're saying the Condesce had nothing to do with any of this?"

For a moment Gamzee stayed still, lips curled in a snarl and eyes tightly shut. Then all the irritation seeped out of his massive frame, tension vanishing and his ears perking back up. When he opened his eyes the sclereas were back to their warm yellow. Confused Jane felt her own anger break and she felt slightly embarrassed for yelling at him. Yes, accusations and tantrums were the best way to re-introduce yourself to someone who you hadn't seen in a decade. 

Awkwardly she scuffled her foot against the metal floor, instantly regretting it as the horrible sensation crawled up her leg. Irritated again, she snapped at Gamzee, "Fine, so you're telling me that horrid witch has nothing to do with you coming for me?"

"No. She ain't giving a fuck what Abutor worked on you- and I don't even know if she knows I know you 'cause I got you. Ain't asking me about it, so I'm all quiet on that place."

Jane scowled, feeling a vicious ball of rage flare inside her like churning hot bile. The Maid didn't think of herself as a hateful person by nature but the Condesce was the woman responsible for causing her to murder Jake in the Game and, if she believed her previous nightmare was true, she had also murdered Roxy in another timeline while being controlled. That horrible, hateful alien queen had caused her to kill her own friends after stealing her mind and corrupting her soul and Jane hated her for it. Even now, after they finished that horrible Game and got their world back that homicidal psychopath showed up and ruined everything all over again.

Even that demon 'Lord English' was no way near as evil as the Condesce in Jane's mind; from what Jane heard all he had been doing was destroying Dream Bubbles which were just living graves and freeing those trapped within. Jane had heard how the first troll session players had been trapped in those bubbles and had gone insane over millions of years of monotony and she reached the point Lord English's killed of them seemed more like a mercy, freeing them of their madness. True, he was killing them all but he did it instantly. Not with the horrendous slow sadism the Condesce showed. That strange creature had never brutalized people on a galactic scale like the Condesce did and Jane found a poetic justice in that hateful witch being enslaved to him during the Game, the vicious alien getting a dose of her own medicine.

In in the present all the torture she'd endured by that little monster Abutor's hands had been approved by that evil empress and, if Rose's tales of Beforus were to be believed, she was responsible for twisting the entire troll race into a pack of murderous lunatics and brutalized slaves. The trolls were just as much victims of the Condesce's psychotic viciousness as the species they annihilated.

 _Regardless of what happens I will kill that vile woman even if I have to die while doing so,_ Jane swore to herself. 

Jane shuddered, feeling a spike of phantom pain go lancing up her left arm. She hated everything in that movement and shifted back, nearly skidding over. Gamzee's ears perked up and took a step forward as if he was going to catch her but she waved him off, fighting off an abrupt bout of dizziness.

"Then where's my hand?" she suddenly asked, unconsciously hugging her left arm closer to her chest as she uneasily regained her balance, "Or does that little monster still have it? He shouldn't, I want it back with me. Not left with him like some...like some kind of toy." 

Truthfully she didn't really want her severed hand back; while it was far easier to simply reattach limbs than regrowing them she knew the time window for her reattaching her hand was shut, the limbs separated from each other for too long. But she didn't want that creepy Doctorturer keeping it like some sick kind of souvenir. Like a necklace or something.

Gamzee made a thoughtful expression before shaking his head, his thick hair shifting behind him like a black tangle, "Nah, I dunno where it is. Didn't really go back to that room where you were strung up like a lil' oinkbeast, just went and sorted some other shit out. You want me to get it?"

"No, no. He can have the darn thing if he really wants it," Jane grumbled, feeling bitter and vaguely nauseated.

Jane sighed, rubbing at her sore eyes. She wished she could teleport or something like Jade, or could fly like how they all used to be able to in the Game. Anything to get back home and maybe have some normal clothes, bake some cakes with John and their respective fathers while not having the colossal stress and slow burning panic and hysteria of an alien invasion bearing down on them.

But no. Instead she was stuck on a hostile vessel missing a hand and having an awkward conversation with her long-lost alien paramour while wearing his shirt and covered in her own blood.

Speaking of which, Jane touched the side of her head where her ear was missing. Around the thick smear of sleek gel she could feel the lines of her dried blood. Wrinkling her nose she dug her nails into the lines before pulling her hand back and studying the stains on her fingers and nails.

 _Ugh, I must look like a right horror,_ she thought, trying to rub the blood stains onto the shirt, instead just smeared rusty streaks along the dark fabric and causing her to make a face.

"Do you...do you have anywhere I can freshen up? At least wash all this blood off. I feel horrible, but that doesn't mean I have to look like it," Jane asked, looking away from the smudges and glancing back at Gamzee.

The massive troll didn't even blink, "Yeah, you do look pretty roughed and tuffed. Like no shame in getting filthy after getting fucked up like you did, though it's prob why your aggravation sponge is getting its ornery on. So if you wanna follow..." he trailed off, walking past her towards the one door she didn't get the investigate.

Jane was more amused by Gamzee calling tortured 'getting fucked up' than she was upset by it, so she turned and carefully followed him without complaint. A small, paranoid part of her warned her that he could be leading her into a trap but it was obvious that in her condition Gamzee didn't exactly need to 'lead her' anywhere. He could just pick her up without effort and bodily hurl her about like a sack of flour so she doubted he had any kind of underhanded tactics. Then again, even when she knew him back in the Game he'd been fairly secretive and illusive so she wasn't exactly new to that part of his personality.

Still, all her senses were on high alert as she shuffled after the giant troll. Gamzee seemed completely at ease as he elbowed the massive door open, leaning against it and allowing Jane to shuffled past him. She felt ridiculously small as she sidled by, the bare skin of her right arm brushing against his side and thick hair before she got distracted.

The next room seemed like a gigantic kitchen, with thick counters and cabinets all a deep shade of purple. There was also a massive fridge Jane was quite sure could fit an entire car in it along with a dozen more bottles of Faygo of various colours littered about the room but before she could investigate further she felt Gamzee lightly push at her back, causing her to jump. 

She peered inquisitively up at him, being somewhat annoyed at how tall he was but all he did was give her a long-toothed smile before nudging her to another adjacent door, this one having a neat line of alternian script scrawled across it.

Inside this room was an enormous bath the size of a small swimming pool, sunken deep into the tiled floor. A roof directly above the bath was littered with hundreds of holes like a broad shower head, and there were several long pipes twisting down from the ceiling and hanging a few feet above the empty tub on the far side. Like the previous rooms the only source of light came from the candles fixed onto the horns of the troll skulls dotted about the walls, the small flames casting a low golden glow throughout the room.

Jane grimaced; she really wished the Subjugglator's weren't so morbid and crammed dead trolls everywhere, even if the room looked warm and inviting in the flickering light from the dozens of candles. 

Gamzee wasn't bothered in the slightest by the skulls, instead shutting the door behind him with a loud bang and striding past the Maid without a moments hesitation. Jane felt annoyance bubble up in her gut again; only this time it was over how at ease he was as if he hadn't just been slapped in the face by the past. Then again, he hadn't been tortured after having a vicious three-against-one fight and loosing.

The soft light made Gamzee look utterly demonic. The candles cast everything in dancing shadows so his monstrous silhouette was thrown in high relief; huge wavy horns that tapered to sharp spikes, his bulky limbs, long claws and stark white facepaint slathered across his pitch-black skin, marred by the three long scars.

Jane couldn't repress a shiver, hunching her shoulders slightly before dragging her gaze from his nightmarish appearance and wandering over to the tub. The opposite end was easily fifteen feet deep and for a moment Jane wondered if Gamzee was able to swim; that had come up in numerous reports during the invasion, however only the seadwellers had actually been seen to voluntarily swim about in oceans, rivers and lakes. She was unsure if other bloodcastes could actually swim or if their fear of being attacked by their aquatic kin squashed that urge on their home planet. 

With a sigh Jane gingerly sat down near the bath, grimacing as the coldness of the tiles quickly seeped through the thin shirt. She carefully eased her bare legs forward until they were dangling over the lip of the tub, hanging down towards the empty bottom, staring at the tiny square tiles decorating the bath floor. As it was, the side she was sitting before was only around four feet deep and she was about to ask Gamzee where she could turn on the water one of the pipes on the far end gurgled nosily before water burst forth from the nozzle, causing her to jump.

For a wild moment Jane was convinced the water was actually troll blood, due to the golden, almost bronze hue it took on until she realized it was just a trick of the candle light.

 _Pah, I don't doubt for a minute there actually are trolls out there who bathe in blood,_ Jane thought spitefully, shivering again as she watched the massive tub slowly begin to fill with hot water, long tendrils of steam starting to coil up in the air. 

A clawed hand lightly touching her hair caused her to jerk to the side, breaking out of her morbid thoughts. 

_Why is he so quiet?_ irritation and frustration nagged at her as she glanced up at Gamzee; sitting on the lip of the bath as she was the Maid barely reached his knees and she felt a sudden urge to punch him with her whole hand. However before she could do so he sat down to her left, close enough his long coarse hair brushed up against her side.

Jane felt self-conscious all over again and she rubbed the hem of the shirt between her thumb and forefinger, watching as the hot water slowly filled the tub. Gamzee didn't seem to notice or care about the awkward silence and instead carefully pulled Jane towards him so she was pressed flush up against his side. She gave an embarrassed squeak, face flushing as he slung his thick arm around her back, his hand slightly resting on her head.

He then began to carefully scratch her scalp, his claws digging in slightly and he started to hum, a deep baritone that rumbled from his chest. The trolls gentle scratching, combined with the steam steadily rising from the hot water, helped Jane's tension vanish and the Maid sighed before leaning against Gamzee's side.

For a long while they sat like that as the water slowly filled up the tub, Jane watching the ripples with a disjointed interest. After a long while Jane vaguely began to recognized the odd melody Gamzee was humming under his breath, causing her to perk up slightly, "Gamzee, what's that song you're singing?"

The Capricorn paused in his ministrations for a moment before he resumed grooming her, slowly dragging his claws through Jane's hair as he replied, "Yeah you remember that lil' tune you told me about way back in your hive?"

"I- you remembered all those?" Jane herself could barely remember what she'd taught him back then, most of which was just old nursery rhymes which came up due to her homesickness while in the Game.

"Yup. Kept on hearing 'em in my dreams alla time. Also sang 'em down by the beach, hoping the old goat would get his audio ducts on them, 'cause you mentioned you humans sing those lil' miracles to your family. He never heard them and I never saw him again. But they came in handy when I met up with my friends again."

"They did?" Jane cast a look to the side, to see Gamzee grinning at her, "Did they like them?" she asked, feeling oddly pleased he'd liked them enough to share them with his cohorts.

If possible his smile grew broader, "Yup, ol' Serket lost her motherfuckin' thinkpan when I sang it to her."

"What did you sing to her?"

"She really loved fuckin' spiders. So I sang her that one about the tiny motherfucking spider all up and trying to climb that spout only for the asshole rain to knock him down."

"Oh! _The Itsy Bitsy Spider_!" Jane laughed, feeling giddy, "Well I'm glad you sang it to her and she seemed to like it."

Gamzee just hummed in response, resuming scratching lightly at her scalp. Jane shut her eyes, the rhythmic patting and hot steam lulling her into a slight doze. 

"Well, at least _The Itsy Bitsy_ is a nice enough nursery rhyme. Not like _Ring a Ring o' Roses_ , which is apparently about the plague and everyone dying in the end," she murmured, voice soft.

A loud snort of laughter escaped Gamzee, "Yeah, and you humans can get pretty fuckin' morbid. Hilarious shit, really."

Jane frowned but kept her eyes shut, "There's a difference between morbid and cruel. A distinction which your species seems to conspicuously lack."

"Not really. Ain't it all the same when it comes down to it?"

"If that's the case, why don't you kill me right now?" Jane said, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

The hand patting her head froze before carefully pulling away. Jane ignored it and started to swing her feet, the hot water now nearly reaching her bare toes. For a long while the two were silent, Jane feeling suddenly so bitter and lonely while Gamzee shifted restlessly beside her.

She let out am embarrassing squeak as the huge troll suddenly picked her up, easily lifting her up onto his lap as if she were a doll. Jane gave an undignified grunt as she fell against his chest, awkwardly grabbing onto his shoulder with her free hand, her maimed one still tucked inside the shirt.

"I- you let me go you brute!" Jane blurted out, flailing ineffectively against him. However he just slung one arm around her, trapping the Maid against his broad chest with her face getting squashed against the curling Capricorn symbol.

"Nah, your rage is all twisting up and fuckin' your thinkpan," Gamzee rumbled, his hand resting lightly on the base of her spine, "Making you all yowlin' and hissy."

"Stop petting me! I am not a house cat!"

"Not till you calm that motherfucking ass down."

"Excuse me, I have been having a terrible week so excuse me if I am not all sunshine and rainbows-" Jane tried to scramble out of his lap, but lost balance and with a loud splash she fell off the troll and right into the nearly filled bath and was instantly submerged in the hot water. Her shriek was cut off as the water flooded her mouth and when she managed to get her balance on the tiles and emerged from the water she coughed wildly, water pouring off her.

Wiping her sodden hair from her face Jane glared up at the grinning troll, who was still sitting up on the dry tiles. Even as she watched him with narrowed eyes he leaned over and tapped a button on the floor next to him and with a gurgle the pipe ceased spilling water. Jane just grumbled a foul word under her breath, feeling embarrassed all over again, before plucking at the now-soaked fabric of the shirt she was wearing. Ah well, she was the one who wanted a bath after all and at least the water at this end of the bath rested just below her breast so she'd be able to wash all the blood off without too much trouble.

With a grand huff Jane turned around, ears burning before she awkwardly began to remove the shirt. It was frustrating as the sodden fabric seemed determined to cling to her and she had to work with one hand but after a few angry curses and nearly skidding over she managed to drag the shirt over her head and threw it off onto the floor where it hit the tiles with a wet _splat_ , leave her standing in the chest-deep hot water in just her bloody underwear.

When Jane dared to sneak a peek at Gamzee the troll was still sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor, though he was miming to himself. Confused Jane watched him for a long moment but he seemed oblivious to her scrutiny. Curiously all his mime signals seem like legitimate sign language and Jane was baffled as to how he knew it or even who he was trying to communicate to.

 _Maybe he's simply trying to work things out? And aren't some of the Priestormentors deaf and mute? So perhaps he learned that in order to talk to them...so to speak,_ Jane thought. Regardless, it was Gamzee's business with how he tried to sort things out with himself while Jane went the 'crying hysterical woman' route earlier. She was rather grateful he chose a more rational and quiet way, rather than going into emotional overload.

Grimacing Jane shifted her attention back to herself, carefully beginning to unwrap the sling still encasing her crippled arm. It was a lot easier to undo the knots than it was to tie them up with one hand and after a bit of flailing around she managed to unwind the long purple ribbon from her arm and flick it in the direction of the discarded shirt, leaving her standing in the hot water in her underwear.

Carefully she shifted until her back was resting against the lip of the tub, her injured arm submerged in the hot water. Curious, she lifted it from the water and stared at the dripping stump, at the translucent gel slathered over the jagged end of her forearm where her hand should've been.

 _Hmm, quite jarring how the Empire seems so dedicated to being brutal and genocidal even to each other yet their medicine seems so advanced,_ the Maid thought as she poked at the gel, feeling the now-wet rubbery texture with her fingers. Even the hot water hadn't dissolved it, so she wondered if it was something that could just be peeled off rather than washed away. She made a note to see if she could somehow smuggle some out when she escaped.

At that thought Jane slumped back against the side of the bath, biting her lip. She'd been so occupied with her panic and grief earlier she'd completely forgotten about her family. They must be worried sick, not even sure if Jane was alive and here she was sitting in a hot bath. Admittedly Gamzee was hovering close by but Jane got the suspicion he was moreso there in case she attempted to drown herself or just because he wanted to be with her, and this was after she'd accused him of wanting to kill her just moments ago.

Blushing she quickly ran her right hand up and down her left arm, where most of the dried blood was due to her earlier hand-ripping. Submerging it again she managed to wash most of the blood off with her right hand, the water around her slowly gaining a rusty tint as her skin steadily became clean, despite the nausea that roiled in her stomach as she caught a glimpse of her exposed arm bones nestled amongst scarlet tendons through the green sealant. 

Grimacing Jane averted her eyes and started to rub at her thigh. Her sensitive feet, thankfully, ached less in the hot water and most of the blood upon her legs was from the spray from her back wound so she only had to scrub at them for a few moments to get the rusty streaks off them. 

The methodical cleaning helped lull her into a calm state; the hot water helped to ease the pain in her abdomen from her earlier crying fit, as well as drawing away her anxiety over her missing family. She'd tackle that when she was clean, then she could panic as much as she wanted.

With a huff she quickly submerged herself in the water, shaking her head a few times before resurfacing. Jane coughed awkwardly as water streamed down her face, hair now sodden and plastered against her skull. Despite everything it felt so nice to be clean; or at least reasonably so. She cupped her right hand and gently splashed some more hot water against the side of her face, near the missing ear. Gingerly she rubbed the dried blood off the side of her head and head, lip curling slightly in distaste each time her fingers brushed against the gel sealing up the torn flesh where her ear should've been. Well, at least her ear canal hadn't been damaged.

She sighed. It was like Dirk said after all; things could always get worse. So she was missing a hand, her ear had been sliced off and she'd been tortured and groped by a monster after getting abducted. She was still alive. At least for now. Scowling Jane washed the rest off the blood off her face, running her hand briefly through her wet hair feeling dejected. After getting most of the dried blood and grime off her neck she slid her hand down down slightly and plucked awkwardly at her bra strap. She'd been stuck in the thing long enough it was beginning to ache, the straps digging furrows into her shoulders. She wanted to take it off, but felt too self-conscious with Gamzee present. Maybe she could ask him to leave? 

_I doubt he'll do that; he's probably hovering around to make sure you don't decide to drown yourself in the bath. Beside, you don't want to push him too much; he's been in the Empire for so long, so try to stay on his good side. Anyway he walked around naked enough times back in the Game,_ she scoffed at herself, smacking the water with a hand, _Besides, even during the invasion it seems like these clowns don't give a fig about nudity-_

Jane's internal musing was cut off as Gamzee suddenly jumped into the tub, the water wave nearly knocking her over. Flailing, she managed to grab onto the lip of the bath and righted herself, the water slapping nosily against her side. 

"How in the world are you so sneaky? You're so damn massive!" Jane exclaimed as she clung to the side of the bath, heart hammering in her chest. 

Gamzee just snorted and playfully flicked some water at her, causing Jane to swat him playfully on the forearm, enjoying the brief bout of familiarity. It took her a few moments before she realized she had hit his bare skin, rather than the striped gauntlets he was wearing.

Was.

"Where are your clothes?!" Jane blurted out, expression scandalized, "Why don't you have any clothes on? Why did you take them off?"

The troll snorted as he sat down in the tub, causing small waves in the hot water. He was tall enough that even that while sitting next to her he could comfortably lean back and rest his arms along the side as he was currently doing. Jane was too mad to really take note, though she was annoyed that even while sitting down and she was standing she wasn't taller than him, though she was now at face level.

Gamzee just looked amused at her panic, grinning at her as he said, "Now why the fuck would I be wearin' clothes in an ablution trap? Or bath tub. Whatever, the fuck we have two terms for those anyway?"

"I don't know?" Jane said, confused as to what Gamzee was even talking about. Though she had to conceded he had a valid point about the clothes and bath tub argument; also it was his room so he could do whatever he wanted however she felt jittery and nervous with having him so close and naked, even though the more rational part of her mind pointed out he hadn't attacked or assaulted her but her paranoia caused her to sidle off to the side slightly, nearly out of arms reach.

"Ugh it's like being at the Harley's island all over again; that lot don't seem to understand not all of us are comfortable with casual nudity," Jane grumbled, awkwardly swaying in the water and looking anywhere other than the naked troll.

Gamzee just snorted again, leaning back against the lip of the bath; his thick long hair was heaped up on the bathroom floor and it was dense enough he was using it to prop up his head as he leaned back, wavy horns gutting out at an angle. With a sigh the Capricorn shut his eyes and without opening them asked, "How's your paw?"

"My what? Oh, my hand..." she looked down at the stump before giving a shrug, "It doesn't hurt. I just don't like....looking at it. I'll deal with it later," with that she started to try and undo her bra again, a challenge with only one hand. Regardless, it was obvious Gamzee didn't care about any kind of modesty and Jane couldn't really be bothered to keep it up anymore. If he wanted her dead, she'd be so. But here she was.

Jane kept on sneaking glances at Gamzee while she fumbled with her bra, however it looked like he was dozing off and Jane rolled her eyes before trying to yank the latch apart with one hand. Growling angrily she gave up and instead just yanked her bra awkwardly over her head. It snagged several times and tore some of her hair out but eventually she managed to pull the thing off and tossed it towards the heap where the ribbon and shirt was.

Quickly she looked over at Gamzee but the troll looked like he had fallen asleep and Jane scoffed quietly under her breath; she didn't know why she was so surprised the thing he did after finding her after ten years during an alien invasion after she ripped her hand off then had a crying fit in his lap was have a nap. Even in the Game Gamzee had been odd, for lack of a better word and from how Rose explained it even amongst other trolls he'd been considered weird.

Averting her eyes from the troll Jane rubbed at the red indents on her skin left from her bra, unable to hold in her sigh of relief as the water soothed the angry flesh. The fabric had dug into her shoulders and the undersides of her breasts, leaving the skin irritable and sore. However she made a mental note to buy more of that underwear brand, considering they'd endured an espionage mission, a three-way brawl, torture than mass crying without any lasting damage. 

Disgust bubbled up in her as she could now see the faint red welts along the top of her bare breasts, no doubt from that vile little beast groping her earlier. Angry now, Jane punched the hot water swirling around her ineffectively and causing droplets to go flying everywhere as her eyes stung with more tears. 

_Oh yes start crying again, that worked so well last time,_ she sniped at herself as she leaned against the back of the tub, sliding further down into the hot water until it came up to her collarbone. A small part of her wished to just sink into the water and never come back up so she wouldn't have to face the horribleness reality had for her and the high likelihood everyone, including her family, would die soon.

A clawed finger brushed against her cheek, gently wiping away an errant tear that managed to escape her eye. Jane immediately flinched back, crossing her arms over her bare chest and nearly slipping over in the water. Gamzee just blinked at her from where he was still sprawled lazily against the baths edge, head tilted slightly to the side.

Jane fidgeted under his purple stare before muttering, "What?" as her arms tightened around her.

The troll made a face, the jagged facepaint twisting, "You, being all so sad."

"Can't imagine why," she grumbled.

"Hey, you're all breathin', eh?" Gamzee said, pushing himself up slightly on his elbows, "So it ain't that bad."

Jane snorted loudly, facing Gamzee angrily. She was irate enough that she dropped her arms, uncaring about her nakedness in her rage, "And how it could it get anymore awful? In case it has escaped your notice your species is attempting to exterminate mine! Do have any idea how _hard_ we worked after the fucking horrible Game? How much effort we put into trying to gore all the rot out of humanity and our society to make everything better? And we were getting close! Then you lot showed up and ruined _everything!_ Just like before!"

At the end of her rant Jane's breath was coming in thick heaves, her remaining hand clenched into a tight fist. The urge to commit violence was so intense Jane was shaking trying to stop herself from attacking Gamzee. Then as suddenly it appeared the rage vanished, leaving the Maid feeling hollow and cold despite the warm water she was standing it. When she finally looked up at Gamzee, feeling vaguely ashamed, he was looking at her with a thoughtful expression on his face, eyes glowing faintly.

Jane didn't drop his stare, her front teeth digging into her lower lip hard enough she could taste blood. Her clenched fist slowly unfurled, furrows dug into her wet palm.

"You really think it's worse than back then?" Gamzee suddenly asked, his voice soft.

"Oh I don't know. Half the time I'm convinced it's all just a terrible dream," Jane grumbled, sinking back into the warm water, "At least back in that Game we had chances to save ourselves even if we did die; here we don't." _Apart from me._

The troll looked pensive before asking, "So you think about it a lot, huh?"

"Of course I do. It changed everything. Even _what_ we are. Doesn't mean I enjoyed it."

He laughed at that, the abrupt loud noise causing her to start, "Yeah, it was pretty shit. Had some fun times, though."

"I still have scars from it, like you do," Jane said. With her right hand she carefully ran her fingers along small rectangular scar underneath her breast, "See? That was when that carapacian stabbed me when I was on Prospit. Though..." Jane glanced down to the faint patch star-shaped skin on her stomach, distorted by the water, "Though for some reason you can barely see the scar tissue from where I got impaled with the Red Miles. I guess it was because the final body I was in was my Prospit one and the wound that transferred from my original body was less obvious."

She snorted, amused, "Now I feel odd; all this talk of different bodies. But it's true; then we got remade on the Quest Beds. Speaking of which, that's why I don't need glasses anymore."

Gamzee shrugged, "Yeah, kinda wondered about that. So that miraculous rainbow glow fixed those broken gander bulbs of yours all up huh? Did the same to our sneaky spiderbitch."

"Er, I'm not to sure who that is, but yes. The Ascension cured my poor eyesight. I didn't really notice at first that my glasses had been changed to normal glass; it wasn't until I took them off and noticed I could see just as well without them. However I....well, I suppose I feel more normal wearing them. Less disjointed from the rest of humanity. Because like I said; I cannot even truthfully call myself or my family human anymore. I mean, how can we be? After all the things we faced, and the things we can achieve."

"Becoming gods," Gamzee drawled, an edge in his voice.

"Depends on what you would call a god," Jane replied cautiously, unsure about his tone, "But I would hardly call myself one. Even in the Game I was useless-"

She trailed off as Gamzee moved, carefully pivoting in place and nudging her towards him with extended arms. This time he made sure to broadcast his movements, as if not wanting to spook her. Jane couldn't help but hesitate, still unsure as to just what his intentions were towards her. Ignoring the feeling of deja vu she allowed Gamzee to effortlessly tug her through the water and wrapping her up into a wet hug.

Gamzee either didn't notice or care she was pretty much naked and sitting on his ow naked lap, instead he tugged her right up against his bare chest and started nuzzling her like a giant affectionate cat. Jane made a noise of protest as she was pressed up again the massive troll's sternum, nose mushed against one of the numerous scars littering his chest.

Just like before he started patting her with one arm still wrapped around her waist, the other carefully stroking her. Jane felt ridiculously embarrassed but after a few moments of Gamzee not saying anything, other than a deep purring, Jane finally let her self consciousness go and slumped against his chest. Now the water came up just under her breast, but the steam kept the room warm enough she wasn't too bothered. Shifting on his lap she tucked her injured arm against her stomach, the other curled up near her collarbone and playing idly with her necklace.

Jane wasn't too sure just why he was so predisposed to be so affectionate to her and treated her like a lapdog. It could be because he was noticing her stress was slowly going through the roof but then Jane recalled his earlier comments about thinking she was a hallucination. So maybe all this touching was a way to verify she was real?

Regardless Jane felt herself relax under his gentle ministrations, her nervousness slipping away. She shifted slightly and watched her arm swaying in the water, the liquid running over her fingers in rhythmic waves. At this point she could ignore her serious injuries, even if she was quite certain she would be able to heal some of them. Maybe one of the smaller injuries? It seemed reasonable to fix her wounds while she wasn't under attack.

"Could you..." Jane's breath caught in her throat slightly before she continued, "Could you please remove the gel from my back? I wish to heal it."

Jane felt Gamzee still, claws scraping slightly against the bare skin of her shoulder, his other hand still resting on her knees. Then slowly the hand on her shoulder slid down her bare back until it reached the edge of the thick sealant spread across the square-shaped sliced open flesh, half submerged in the warm water.

"Yes, that part. Please remove it for me."

She shivered slightly despite the warm water when she felt the tips of Gamzee's claws dig underneath the gel and he carefully began to peel the sealant off her wet skin. The Maid guessed the green-tinted material had some kind of anesthetic in it, for even when Gamzee tugged the gel fully off her back and tossed it onto the tiles Jane couldn't feel any pain from the exposed skin. However she knew from the increasing sensation of itchiness that wouldn't last for long so she took a deep breath and leaned to the side, resting against Gamzee's broad chest as she focused her Life abilities on the torn flesh of her lower back. 

This time Jane focused intently on the wound, attempting to make her healing as precise and careful as possible. Like all skin layers hers were made up of three; the epidermis which was the thin outer surface, the dermis which was thicker and dense with muscles and nerves, and then the final layer which was the hypodermis which housed the fat and sweat glands.

Abutor hadn't sliced that deep so he hadn't cut into the subcutis layer of her skin, where the thick fatty tissue was housed. However that layer he stopped at was also the one which had the most sensitivity and tangled web of nerve endings, along with the blood supply lines. Jane grimaced, her lip curling. She had to hand it to Abutor; he knew his way around a human body and how to cause the most pain with the least amount of crippling injuries or nerve damage. 

She shook her head slightly before forcing her mind back to her wounded, exposed skin; carefully she began to spread the healing blue glow of her Life powers along her back, moving the energy like thread and sewing together new layers of skin. Slowly and steadily she replaced the missing layers of epidermis and dermis skin until the flesh along her back was smooth and unblemished.

Smiling Jane released her powers, letting the blue pulse fade away and seep back into her body.

Carefully Jane slid off Gamzee's lap, rivulets of water running down her body as she stretched; oddly enough the skin along her back didn't seem to be as sensitive and raw as the replaced flesh on her feet. She ran her hand along the new skin and wondered if it was because she had more time and put more thought into her healing of her back, rather than just cramming as much power in that one area like she did with her feet. 

Then she jumped slightly, nearly loosing her balance as she felt Gamzee lightly touch the newly healed skin. His cold fingers caused goose bumps to ripple over her back and she could felt the faint pricks of his claws. She made no effort to move and instead traced meaningless patterns in the water and watching it swirl around her fingers, her injured arm tucked up against her bare breast.

When the troll eventually spoke his voice was low and curious, "How'd you do that?"

"Healing myself? I've been able to do it for quite some time," Jane replied, her response quiet, "I'm a Maid of Life. Though I admit it took quite a bit of practice."

Gamzee made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat and when Jane glanced back at him he was watching her with a thoughtful expression on his face. She frowned slightly, her eyes studying the three scars on his face then dropping down to his chest where even more were scattered across the black skin. Many were small though one looked more like a large puncture wound the size of an apple, a thick ugly mat of circular scar tissue.

Carefully Jane reached out and touched the scar, feeling the ridged skin under her fingertips. Without preamble Gamzee tugged her back into his lap and sending small waves through the tub. Jane gave an annoyed grunt but just rolled her eyes. If he wanted to treat her like an overgrown teddy bear then fine. She did admit him patting her constantly did make her feel secure and less like he was about to maul her to death. Then again, the current month hadn't exactly helped her opinion about the troll race in general.

 _He's not going to harm me,_ Jane reasoned to herself, _Stop worrying about it. If he refuses to let you go further down the line, then yes that is a situation,_ she thought for a few more moments, idly tracing a scar on Gamzee's chest before snorting quietly, _yes, because I am just going to be able to walk away from this horrible place in the near future._

The hot water, combined with Gamzee's patting and the exhaustion brought on by her earlier crying fit caused Jane to doze off, head lolling against Gamzee's chest. Pressed against him she could hear the thick inhales and exhales of breath, along with the slow pulses of his heart. Despite having just healed herself Jane couldn't help but curiously reach out with her Life sense.

Like the rest of her family's Gamzee's Life pulse seemed more vibrant, more potent than any other troll's she'd sensed. Ever since the Game and realizing she could detect life forces she slowly came to the realization non-Game players didn't glow as brightly or uniquely. Each of her family had their own spark in their life force; John's was loose and fluid, as if seeping out of his very skin like air, Jake's had a strange ethereal vibration constantly emitting from it, while Jade's was a brilliant crackling green she couldn't make heads or tails out of. 

Gamzee's however... _burned_ , for lack of a better word. Like his life force was a blaze burning steadily away in a fireplace. She could sense previous areas of trauma, such as the base of his throat and the joints of his wrist where she'd injured him in the fight in the square. These nearly healed wounds bubbled faintly in his life force and Jane hastily drew back her sense, unsure of what it meant.

She brooded on the issue for a few more minutes, right hand idly rubbing her necklace as Gamzee carried on patting her. His claws brushed lightly against the skin of her back, causing her to shiver slightly as she dozed.

Still something important nagged at her, something that had been the cause of her earlier crying and Jane reluctantly dragged herself from her contented doze to quietly ask, "In the room with all the portraits, you painted a troll who was wearing a Space outfit. She had horns like yours and such fluffy white hair. Who was she? I felt like I knew her, she seemed so familiar and I felt so sad when I saw her..."

She felt Gamzee snort, his huff of breath ruffling her wet hair, "Well yeah, 'course I know that lil' green cluckadee. Like...didn't really wanna sound it out everywhere but she was my favourite. Not as much of a vicious hissy shit like the other one. Didn't maul me all the fucking time or break everything. That shit got old real motherfuckin' quick."

Jane ignored the strange favourite comment, instead saying, "But she looked like a troll- well actually it morseo looked like she was dressed up as one. Her face seemed...oddly wrong."

"Yeah, she liked doing that. Kinda cute actually; dressin' up like a mini lil' limey troll. I mean, overall it was pretty shit she thought herself ugly enough to do 'cause she was actually a miraculous mother fucker who was pretty as stardust and sweet as faygo to boot. Not like her brother, who was just kinda...overall ugly. Ah whatever, still loved the weirdo green fuckers like my own, though."

 _Thought herself ugly,_ the words prodded at Jane, dragging up memories over a decade old. Who said that? Who else was a troll? No, not a troll, someone who _dressed_ as one. Who presented herself as a troll because she was too embarrassed and ashamed of how she looked naturally. Because she was convinced they would be repulsed or frightened of how she looked. Then Jane's own certainty at meeting her face-to-face before. But how?

Jane was dragged from her brooding and internal confusion as Gamzee continued, "Eh, probably a mix of worshipful Messiah and adopted wiggler. Well, that's how I fucking thought of those two as."

For a moment Jane thought she misheard him. _Wiggler._ She lifted her head from his chest and peered up at him, a quizzical expression on her face, "You had adopted children? And what does that troll you painted have to do with that?"

Gamzee looked confused, "Uh huh, thought you star monkeys knew that. Like after that whole bitchass fucker game, anyway. What with all that juju touching your Heir did and stuff up. Zapping around touching shit he shouldn't. Just made _him_ in the first place."

"Well I don't get it. So please, explain."

"Like..." a baffled expression crossed Gamzee's unpainted face, "Like you spoke with her, didn't you? I gave them that shit, so they could talk to you 'cause they fuckin' hated each other with a real motherfuckin' tenacity. Then again that's apparently how Cherubs are supposed to be even if it seemed all a bunch of hoofbeast shit, all hating on your own self from the start. All snarky and fuckin' pissed at each even though they're the same green motherfucker, you know?"

The realization of who he was talking about stuck Jane like a thunderbolt, leaving her utterly blindsided. For a long while she remained ridged, eyes blank as everything suddenly slotted into place. She had to ask. Now.

"I don't," Jane struggled to put her thoughts in order, her mind feeling slow and sluggish. Carefully she braced her right hand against Gamzee's broad chest and pushed herself upright so she was looking him in the eye. Gamzee didn't seem fazed, simply raising a scarred eyebrow at her scrutiny.

"I don't think...are you talking about Callie? About Calliope?" she finally managed to blurt out stupidly.

Gamzee snorted, expression amused as if he thought she was deliberately being obtuse, "Well yeah, you know how I raised Calliope from when she just hatched outta her candy-swirl egg as some slitherbeast-"

"You what?"

"- so I also raised her brother, Caliborn."

_"What?!"_


	24. Rusty woolbeast

Time was an interesting and convoluted subject. Some thought time was a constant, that it was something that existed for as long as existence. Some regarded it as something that existed as long as self-awareness and thus had no independent existence. Because of this there was three basic passages to time that was widely acknowledged; past present and future.

These three built up the basic perspective of time but it also built a timeline that most people could vaguely get their heads around and created the impression that the passage of time was an actual thing that occurred.

Aradia, quite frankly, now found the whole notion ridiculous. Sweeps of studying her powers had convinced her that time was hardly a 'flowing river' and neither was it just a 'ridged block' or a 'practical loop'. Time was, to her, essentially just an illusion and time tied in with existence as a state of being; however it relied solely on how that individual decided to view time and someone assuming they had any kind of influence over it was laughable.

The past was simply built up of memories and recollections of events. Present simply provided people with the realest form of existence. The future was simply a projection of past experiences and knowledge to try and gauge what would occur; people would rely on their own experiences, along with their knowledge of related events, circumstances and people, in order to try and decipher the 'future' which quite frankly would never exist. People could make plans for it yes, but never reach it since it was quite literally the future and by default something that would never come to pass because as soon as it did it was the present. 

It was because of this she was disturbed yet equally delighted by the contact from their long lost fellow Game players.

True, she was quite annoyed at how grubfisted Karkat handled everything yet by all accounts his moirail had given him quite the tongue lashing about it later so she was content on that part.

However it was mainly the knowledge that Gamzee had been involved in everything that disturbed her yet at the same time delighted her, however she wasn't surprised he was so involved in the attack on the human's homeworld.

Now she was torn between being incredibly pleased Gamzee was involved in the siege on Earth and being certain she should've tried harder to sway Gamzee over to their side in the sweep between being restored on Alternia and Conscription when they were forced to flee or die. However Aradia had made a grave misjudgement on that front; she had assumed that their new life would be like the Game, the fusion with the kernalsprite badly hindering her judgement by dragging her towards Sgrub's logic and rules. She was too used to how the Game functioned, how everything was predetermined as soon as someone played Sgrub. How as soon as someone became a Player their entire path was set in concrete and nothing they did could stop it. It's why she was so used to death; she was Doomed to die the instant she found Sgrub and Doomed to do it thousands of times while playing it. It was her fate and she accepted that.

However it took her too long to fully realize they were no longer in the Game, that Timelines did not exist outside of it. They only had now and their past knowledge to try and ascribe to future events, there was no time jumping, no entering the past, no entering new Timelines to try and save someone or to prevent an event. It was set in their own interpretation of time which was something applied personally and through their own state of personal experiences and state of mind, not something applied universally and in a constant loop of predetermined events.

Aradia already knew of Gamzee's affection for the human Life player and his subsequent attitude post Game. Though she did go a few nights before Conscription to try and get him to join them she knew it was lost already even before he refused her offer. However that had been her own personal error; she had assumed it was set in stone, her mind still getting used to the fusion from the sprite and from the fact she was still acting as if she was part of a predetermined Game, a habit that took her sweeps to break.

She could hardly even function after the end of the Game. Due to being part of a sprite she had a vague inkling of what would occur after Sgrub reset and restored their universe but she was still utterly blindsided by the fact she was fused with her Dancestor.

Being a rustblood and thus having the ghosts ever hovering over her and whispering she assumed the Witch's mind would be able to deal with it easily enough. But Damara's rage and hate was so intense she was overwhelmed most of the time, her thoughts getting swamped with deeply rooted urges for violence and retribution and any attempt to speak with her friends over trollian went downhill fast and would usually turn into her screaming gibberish at them. 

After those first few rather horrendous conversations she decided to isolate herself to try and sort everything out so she spent the rest of the week recuperating in her newly-restored hive, along with her resurrected lusus. There she learned yes, she still had her Maid Godtier robes. She could still freeze things in time and to her utter delight she got to keep her beautiful Godtier wings. She tried to figure out what her fusion with Damara would do to her abilities, due to her Dancestor being a completely different class, but eventually Aradia's concentration kept on getting interrupted by the cold fury and festering hate brought on by the Witch who was now an integral part of herself.

Aradia wondered if this was how highbloods felt constantly. The constantly thrum of rage just lurking underneath, the almost overwhelming desire to maim, to kill, to torture. At least she now knew from Damara's memories that the Witch's hate and anti-social behaviour was justified but though she had punished those responsible it hadn't been enough. Instead she had brooded until the hate had festered into this horrible twisted _thing_ and it was slowly but surely driving Aradia mad.

So at her lusus' urging she decided to try and do something constructive with her time to distract herself from her rage. So she visited Vriska first to see if the Thief had retained her own Godtier, after changing out of her Godtier robes of course; the scarlet of Time was too akin to the heathen red of the Signless and Aradia needed to keep a low profile for the time being until she sorted everything out. Also she felt oddly nostalgic when she changed back to her simple outfit of sneakers, socks, skirt and plain shirt. Just like she had been for the Game, but the crimson shimmer of her wings proved how far she had come. So with a final goodbye to her lusus the Maid set off.

Being Godtier herself it was easy for Aradia to simply fly there without the use of her telekinesis however she took great pains to avoid being spotted on her journey; no point in sticking herself on the Empire's hit list when they found out a rustblood had wings, since she had no doubt that she'd be killed instantly if they found out. Still, she greatly savoured the flight, feeling her wings flutter on her back as she effortlessly flew through the sky and leaving behind a sparkling dusky red trail as she flew, which helped distract her from Damara's sullen fury.

She was also fascinated to discover, as she flew high above lawnrings, hives and forests, that the massive green moon had vanished leaving the two pink ones alone in the sky. The moon she knew from Damara's and her sprites memories belonged to the deceased First Guardian of Alternia, Doc Scratch. As she thought his name she felt a deep stab of loathing and she stumbled in the air, struggling to right herself. To help keep her focus she flew through a nearby cloud, the sudden introduction of water cooling the hate. Regaining herself she carried on her quest towards Vriska's hive, droplets clinging to her clothes and horns as she fluttered. After getting lost twice she finally found the Thief's hive and glided down to the nearest window, making sure to stay away from the tangled webbing clinging to the lower portions.

Turned out Vriska hadn't kept her wings or Godhood. When Aradia finally reached her hive she found the cobaltblood scribbling all over the walls and jabbering away to herself, half her hair crudely hacked off. Watching Vriska mumble to herself cause a strange quagmire of memories to surface; being controlled by her, Aranea's smug, unyielding telepathic grip as she marched them to their death for her own pride and arrogance, stealing her powers to murder the humans for no reason other than vanity.

Aradia had to seize handfuls of her wild hair to prevent herself from crashing through the wall and beating Vriska to death, the urge to attack the ceruleanblood until her bones snapped and she choked a crushed throat and drowned in her own blood was almost overwhelming her.

Struggling to breathe Aradia turned and fled but not before giving the finger to Equius' hive, where she could just faintly make out the shine of tinted glasses through the yawning window before she finally managed yank back her self control enough to make it back to her hive, nearly sick with rage.

Meeting the rest of her friends throughout the following week turned out just as badly.

Trying to speak with Feferi just resulted in her screaming at the seadweller and hurling a nearby bolder at her. Luckily Peixes managed to escape into the water but Aradia was caught in such rage she cursed at the ocean for nearly five hours before managing to control herself. She told Equius she'd snap his newly-healed horn off and gore his gander bulbs out with it if he ever tried to touch her again. She wasn't too sure if he even noticed since he spent the whole time staring blankly out the window of his hive and ignoring Nepeta's desperate pleading to acknowledge something.

Nepeta, from their brief conversation after Aradia finished threatening death on Equius, seemed relatively normal if not yelling all her dialogue and flailing wildly in the air with her hands constantly. Kanaya, when Aradia visited her hive in the desert, likewise seemed normal if not distant and Aradia was surprised to find out Kanaya was no longer a Rainbow Drinker; she gathered the Game had brought them back in their optimal, undamaged state. Tavros wouldn't answer his door when she visited him which Aradia was secretly grateful for since she knew Damara both loathed and loved him in some warped way and a part of her was afraid she'd attack him in her raw state. 

Terezi however greeted Aradia with obvious joy and relief when the Maid visited her, the teal being largely coherent if not laughing too loudly and saying the word 'rad' far too many times. She would even mutter it randomly under her breath while fidgeting on the floor, trying to clean up all her mutilated scalemates since most looked as if she'd mauled them to death with her teeth. Aradia spent a few days at her treehive, speaking to the Seer and trying to figure out how to deal with everything before she departed. She also learned that Terezi's sight remained restored, something which saddened the Seer to no end.

Eridan, interestingly enough, likewise seemed one of the few who didn't appear largely affected with the fusion. If anything he seemed less sullen and vicious if not knowing what personal space was and his verbal quirk was all over the place so he kept fumbling his words and getting tongue-tied. Aradia wasn't sure if it was Damara's bizarre fondness towards Cronus influencing her or if she was just happy Eridan was a slight shade less homicidal than before, even if a part of her felt vindictive smugness and pleasure over his murder of Peixes in the Game and she had to stop herself from congratulating him.

But meeting all her friends proved moot when Aradia kept on swerving between happiness towards her friends and wanting to maim and brutalize them.

Admittedly she wasn't the only one who had severe issues with trying to reconcile with their Dancestor; Karkat's screaming fits at himself became legendary, with the entire neighbourhood becoming convinced his hive had turned into some elaborate torture facility. Sollux spent a lot of his time muttering into the air, speaking incoherently then falling down stairs before screaming gibberish at his husktop screen. Equius still wasn't moving and Nepeta had started force-feeding him to keep him alive and Vriska flew into long winded monologues that made utterly no sense. Feferi, likewise, went utterly mad at one point and murdered all her neighbours then dropped the bomb that Gl'bgolyb no longer existed.

Aradia just said good fucking riddance and Feferi blocked her.

Eventually Aradia was forced to seek help to try and control these new feelings of intense hostility that gnawed constantly at her thinkpan; Tavros, despite Aradia still caring for him, was out of the question. Damara's hate and wariness of the Nitram's shot down any attempt Aradia made to try and reconcile with him. Tavros, likewise, still hadn't attempted to contact her and that just fueled Damara's burning rage so Aradia was afraid if she did try to push the issue she'd wind up harming him. So instead Aradia reached out to another person she had been close with and who had gotten grievously injured trying to avenge her before, someone who hadn't harmed her or Damara.

Terezi certainly was surprised when she answered her door and found Aradia hovering outside it again since they had met only a few days before but she nonetheless invited the Maid inside. Aradia stayed with the Seer for nearly a perigee and the two formed a moirallegiance, partly out of necessity on Aradia's part and partly out of pity on Terezi's half. However it was incredibly beneficial to Aradia; due to Terezi's abilities, both as a Seer and a Knight, she helped curb Aradia's rage and the tealblood's vicious and retributive nature had been reduced vastly from being fused with the laid-back Latula.

But talking and playing with Terezi helped slightly ease Aradia's new founded fury. It still lurked at the back of her thinkpan like a sullen coal and Terezi even remarked she was worried; with her Seer powers she told her every path she looked for in Aradia currently resulted in the Maid grievously harming or killing one of her friends. Apparently Equius, Feferi and Tavros were the ones she was most likely to kill and Aradia blithely replied she didn't care if she killed either of the two highbloods which resulted in an awkward silence and a very long feeling jams in Aradia constantly felt a horrible mix of shame and rage.

Aradia had sacrificed too much to ruin everything by killing her friends. She desperately wanted to do something about the rage within her that was making it so hard to think or even do basic tasks. Once while searching Terezi's thermal hub for lunch she went into a fit of absolute anger and the Seer found her half slumped inside its broken form and shaking uncontrollably. Terezi tried her best but despite the tealblood's efforts Aradia wasn't making any progress with just jamming about it on a pile of torn up scalemates.

Eventually Terezi managed to convince Aradia to go visit Tavros to try and make amends. The part of Aradia dominated by Damara balked at the prospect but Aradia still cared deeply for the brownblood and agreed and thus went to visit him one night. She insisted Terezi come with her due to a part of her was afraid she'd loose control and harm her late FLARP partner, which she wouldn't be able to forgive even if the bloody hurting part of her approved of injuring him.

The three spent most of the night talking with Terezi mainly playing with Tinkerbull while the Maid and Page tried to sort things out. There Aradia learned that the main reason Tavros was avoiding her was because of his own shame for finding out what happened to Damara with his fusion with Rufioh.

Aradia had, at first, been confused until Tavros finally admitted Rufioh seemed to be more of a background noise. Aradia nearly choked on her enraged jealously and Terezi had to intervene, taking the Maid outside to the lawnring and papping her until the Maid calmed down. After a long while Aradia realized the cause of her emotion; she was jealous that Tavros was still himself, that he wasn't getting strangled in the mire of his Dancestor's frozen hate and madness.

She said as much to Terezi, who pointed out while Tavros was as gentle as a troll could be he was still Alternian born and bred and not in any way weak. Anyone who endured Vriska's abuse for so long without snapping or breaking was too strong to fall to someone like Rufioh, who was neither powerful nor influential, so he had already largely dominated over the Rogue in their fusion and part of Aradia utterly loathed him for it which made her feel absolutely sick.

She, who died time and again to save everyone, who got cheated on, who got killed by her friend, who was tormented into madness by people she thought were her friends, who died for those friends and all she got was a broken thinkpan for all her sacrifices. Logically she knew it was unfair to blame them but Damara just hated all of her friends which such fury she was, slowly but steadily, wearing down Aradia's mind and both she and Terezi knew it. And Aradia knew she had to do something about the hate inside her before it slowly killed her and she killed her friends as a result, as the Maid swore she would die before ever hurting her friends again.

So Aradia went back into Tavros' hive and said she forgave him and the lowbloods hugged before the two female trolls left his hive.

However she lied when she said she forgave him. She knew now Damara's hate and anger ran too deep, that it was now entrenched in her like a hideous gnarled root due to the millions of sweeps the Witch spent brooding and seething against her friends in the Dreambubbles. Aradia knew she wouldn't be able to overcome such cold hatred she felt for all of them but she wouldn't let her Dancestor's anger ruin her new life, as she knew she would break eventually if she just tried to brace herself against it.

So instead of returning to Terezi's hive she went her own way and promised to visit the Seer the next night to have a feelings jam. Aradia knew Terezi had an strong inkling of what she intended to do and most likely knew she was lying to Tavros when the Maid said she forgave him but to Aradia's eternal gratitude the tealblood didn't interrogate her or try to change her mind. Instead she wished her a good morning and left for her tree-hive and then Aradia took to the skies and made her way to the beach.

That's where she found Gamzee.

She knew from long conversations with Terezi and being allowed to snoop through the Seer's trollian logs with the other players that Gamzee was essentially on a 'Ignore' list by most of the trolls. Aradia scoffed the first time she heard about that and blasted everyone for their hypocrisy and blatant favourtism in a massive memo filled with excessive swearing and, when Aradia read it the next night, was written almost entirely in Damara's odd dialect that the Maid had no recollection of writing in. To her relief Terezi shared the same view and even confined she was deeply embarrassed about her actions on the Meteor and her resulting behaviour during the final stretch of the Game which lead to the Seer's bloody death at the claws of the Bard. Terezi, though she did forgive Gamzee, chose to ignore him but Aradia knew it wasn't out of malevolence or anger like many of the other trolls but moreso out of her belief it was beneficial for both herself and the Subjugglator and to which Aradia was grateful Terezi wasn't engaging in such wigglerish antics like the rest of them. 

And though Aradia never spoke of Damara's affiliation with Lord English and by extension the two purplebloods she knew Terezi suspected it. But if it was one thing Terezi learned through her Diamond with Aradia it was that some things were better left alone and the Seer never once passed judgement on her friendliness towards Gamzee.

So with that she left to find the one person who could help her with her issues with the horrible rot of unyielding hate entrenched in her. Someone who could destroy the negative emotion that Aradia just couldn't deal with anymore.

Someone who she found sitting just outside his hive, drawing meaningless patterns along the beach with his claws. Gamzee made no effort to acknowledge her as she landed with a small flurry of sparkling red motes and tiny whirlwinds of sand. He had gotten larger since she'd last saw him, gaining the gangly limbs of adolescence. His facepaint was sloppy as if he'd just half-heartedly slapped it on and his expression seemed set in a constant snarl, eyes a deep orange.

Despite all this, Aradia had no fear of Gamzee. She wasn't sure if it was a by-product from being fused with Damara since she knew from the Witch's memories the two were in cahoots about Lord English or if she knew he was too upset over the loss of his faith, messiahs, wigglers and matesprit combined.

But regardless she knew he could help her with her problem, the only question being if he would.

After all from her knowledge as a sprite she knew his aspect was Rage but it was a snuggleplane term for lack of a better word; in essence he dealt with any strong emotion that could override reason and coherency, just like how Karkat's Blood aspect mean literal blood yet also ties and friendships between people, or Tavros' Breath meant literal wind and air along with inspiration.

And now being part Prince due to his fusion with his Dancestor Gamzee was capable of Destroying those emotions which is why he became Aradia's last resort to getting rid of Damara's burning hatred and anger.

She also knew the risks behind letting a Subjugglator into her mind but she had no choice. She wasn't going to win against her Dancestors emotions; Damara's fury was too entrenched, grown through millions of sweeps and Aradia was just too _tired_ to deal with it anymore.

That turned out to be a moot point when it turned out Gamzee already knew what she wanted, pointing out he was fully aware of her problem and could taste her festering rage the instant they all came back. Aradia wasn't daunted and even ignored the paranoid whispering from the ghosts before asking if he could help her. She hoped he was still amicable towards her since she had never had any issues with him before or during the Game even if she knew about a lot of the anger getting thrown at him. But then she was just as instrumental in creating that monster to begin with due to the unbreakable loops so she held no animosity towards him.

Of course she doubted he wanted her pity or sympathy but he agreed to get rid of Damara's anger for her, despite the fact she knew he could wipe out her memories or even break her mind if he chose to. She wasn't quite sure why he agreed so easily; out of some latent expression of gratitude for her help? She still didn't know but she wasn't about to look a gift hoofbeast in the squawk gaper.

It felt odd having a Subjugglator of all things inside her mind; due to her memories from her Dancestor she knew what it felt like to be controlled by a Serket yet a Makara was completely different. A Serket control felt weirdly flimsy and slimy; Makara's was hot and encompassing like being wrapped up in a spiky cocoon of boiling water.

Then a weird feeling of numbness swept through her and slowly the boiling fury of Damara's rage cooled and vanished, leaving her feeling light headed and oddly sensitive. But now she could think without the hostility lurking constantly back in her thinkpan and across from her, still slumped in the sand, Gamzee's gander bulbs shifted back to their usual state.

However before he left her mind she felt an odd pang of remorse and gratitude; so that was why he agreed to aid her? Because she left her music boxes for him to find? She knew he used them to raise the Cherubs and also influence the Alpha humans but she was surprised that he was aware she did it intentionally. After all the Game was set so there was no point in her trying to avoid their fates. It just resulted in Doomed Timelines which they didn't have the benefit of anymore.

But regardless she knew Gamzee felt as if he was settling a debt to her by Destroying the fury residing within her even thought Aradia never considered it one. But she wasn't going to complain.

So instead she thanked him for helping her and then warned him he'd probably get attacked later on by the more frivolous in the group but he just waved her off, citing the fact if they wanted to go start something with him they were more than welcomed to. Aradia knew this didn't bode well for those who would deliberately incite his anger but she figured it would be a good lesson for anyone who did. But now she could now get on with her life without being consumed by the rage so she thanked Gamzee before she departed.

It wasn't until Aradia flew back to her hive, mind finally free of that twisted up rage and hate, that she realized Gamzee never once spoke aloud in their entire conversation.

She spent a few days in her hive, readjusting now without the constantly stewing of fury in her thinkpan. During this she spent time with her lusus and even visited the frog temple, noting with some fascination the head was still missing; the same head she'd hurled into the kernalsprite before prototyping herself and turning into a frog-ghost. It all seemed like a horrible daymare. After a few days she went and visited Terezi again, noting the Seer had changed her glasses to squared ones and still couldn't seem to get her 'rad' under control.

But Terezi didn't ask her how Aradia had managed to fix her rage problems and the Maid was grateful. Instead now she went about trying to help Terezi now that she could focus. Helping the Seer pick through her guilt, confusion and self-loathing she had accumulated in and after the Game.

Aradia's jams with Terezi made it quite clear that though Gamzee had managed to get rid of the gnarled rot of Damara's overriding rage her Dancestor was still influencing her. Even speaking with Terezi she would become confused and call her Latula or Terezi had to interrupt her mid-conversation to tell the Maid she was speaking in a completely different language, the odd stilted dialect Damara always spoke it. Though numerous note taking and talk they concluded their Dancestors had a habit of slipping out the more emotional they became and there were little influences here and there. Terezi became less violent and less inclined to turn into physical retribution. Her guilt over her mass murderers during FLARP also became a big issue, as the Beforan within her was sickened at the killings and she became nauseated and her self-loathing worsened.

To her own frustration Damara's viciousness still lurked within; no way near as potent as before and she knew Gamzee couldn't remove it completely unless he wanted to break her thinkpan but Terezi had noticed Aradia had a lot shorter fuse towards her friends now and swore a great deal.

That had resulted in the dismal failure and explosive argument that occurred when she attempted to speak to Sollux to try and reconcile with him. In hindsight it was a terrible idea; going to visit her old friend while still raw from Gamzee's psychic ministrations. However turns out his fusion with his Dancestor had left him oddly loopy, even though the Game had restored Mituna without his thinkpan damage Sollux's crudeness and irritable nature had gone through the roof and his rampant mood swings were even worse.

So needless to say the entire exchange resulted in a screaming match between the two lowbloods, Sollux being angry and uncaring while Aradia accused him of abandoning her; she hurled the fact he was the one who killed her back in his face, how he'd left her dead and alone and then at the mercy of Equius even as the blueblood tried to violate her mind and took advantage of her confusion to try and force her to be his matesprit. Instead Sollux had abandoned her at the first sign of trouble and flounced off to cavort with the smug Heiress without a backwards glance because she wasn't good enough for him anymore, even though she need her friends the most at that point. Then he had the audacity to blame her when she spoke to him on the Meteor before she exploded, essentially say it was her own fault Equius took advantage of her. It took everything in her to prevent herself from hurling Sollux through the wall and snapping his neck so after a few choice words she left and refused to speak to him.

It was cruel of her to say but a part of her felt vindicated and that her fury was absolutely justified. So despite everything- and at Terezi's urging -she wouldn't apologise to him because she had meant every word and Terezi pointed out it was better to air everything out before it festered. Besides, the tealblood reasoned, Sollux had needed a good kicking in the nook for a while.

But at least it showed her temper had gotten a far shorter fuse and she was now able to carry grudges to a frightening degree. However as Terezi pointed out such anger and distrust would most likely save her in the future, especially once it got out she had wings as a lowblood and Aradia reluctantly agreed.

It was during this feeling jam, however, that Terezi asked Aradia to re-blind her.

At first Aradia refused, unwilling to do such harm and permanent injury to her moirail however Terezi persisted, insisting that having her gander bulbs restored just reminded her of all her dismal failures in the Game and how useless she was. The Seer even admitted she would most likely never be able to forgive Vriska due to Aranea's involvement in passive guilt tripping and humiliating her until she let the Slyph heal her blindness. It was just another proof of her failures. Still Aradia continued to refuse until Terezi threatened to walk outside and simply stare into the sun and the Maid finally caved.

However she refused to burn Terezi's eyes or gore them out. That was where she drew the line. She would help her moirail, yes, but she wouldn't do such blatant harm her.

Gamzee destroying Damara's rage and hate left open new doors for Aradia, helping to clear the overlaying smog of anger which had clouded her thoughts so now she knew the Game Players were now a combination of both their original classes and those of their Dancestors when they fused together. She had a shaky, vague knowledge of the Witch's Time powers and Aradia was aware it would take perigees, sweeps even to fully understand the change and she got her first chance to test them with her moirails request. It was proof to how pink their Diamond was that Terezi allowed Aradia near her gander bulbs using a power she was unsure of. Though the Maid was quite sure Terezi was both curious about what she intended to do and impatient about her sight and wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible.

Aradia had carefully taken off Terezi's glasses and gently placed her fingertips around the tealblood's gander bulb sockets and, after requesting Terezi keep her eyes open, accessed the power of a Witch and very slowly reversed the Time on Terezi's eyes. She took pains to do it as slow as possible, afraid she might accidentally age them into dust but to her relief it all worked out; she could feel and see Terezi's eyes shift as Aradia reversed them back in time; or essentially reversing their progress to their current restored state. She worked slowly until Terezi's gander bulbs were watering then they warped and shifted, the scleras and iris change to a brilliant burnt scarlet with small burn scars crawling around her eye sockets.

Doing such a thing to Terezi's eyes caused Aradia to collapse from exhaustion and she slept soundly for three nights.

But it was then Aradia knew for certain; if she could trap someone with her Maid's abilities to freeze them in place then she could literally accelerate their body's growth and turn someone into dust or even reverse them into wigglerhood and potentially all the way back to genetic material. Technically she knew it wasn't reversing time; instead she was running through the predetermined genetic structure through age and experiences but it was more simple to label it that then try and explain to any non-Time player the fact time didn't technically exist.

She made note to do more tests in the future.

And so she did; it was after nearly a sweep she realized they still have their Levels like they had in the Game. True those badges they gained didn't work anymore and she had no idea how Godtier death immunity really worked (And she wasn't in a rush to test it) and even with all her knowledge of Sgrub due to her sprite part trying to understand just what were the limitations and potential for the classes and aspects was an immensely frustrating and slow progress. 

She and Terezi had spent many nights raging over the lack of an instruction manual in the Game as they tried to sort it out; Terezi was mainly frustrated she had no idea what a Knight was even supposed to do. Aradia speculated they were passive defenders so perhaps she was immune to mindcontrol but then she remembered the whole ghost murder incident in the Dreambubbles and getting nearly gutted by a sword which killed that idea in its spawning cave.

It also didn't help past feelings and quadrants were interfering with their work with Terezi getting frustrated and angry at Karkat's constant interfering as well as her confusion over Sollux due to their Dancestors relationship. Aradia was exempt of that; Damara's hate over everything was gone and she held no lasting overriding affection for her friends beyond her typical care and her Diamond with Terezi so she was stable. However she knew others weren't coping so well. She still didn't really know what happened between Nepeta and Gamzee, but apparently it had gone downhill fast. Aradia had just grimaced when Kanaya told them about it; even she knew poking at that wound with the Subjugglator was a very bad idea but then even in the Game no one listened to her so why would they start now?

Of course that resentfulness wasn't helping and experimentation was the key to discovering her abilities; no point beating a dead hoofbeast.

Aradia also discovered through her work she was able to view all her memories with absolute clarity; for the first time she thought she'd time traveled before scoffing at the idea. She couldn't move through time since it didn't exist in loops anymore but she could relive all her memories. This gave her a near perfect recollection and she'd gone into long trances scouring through hers and Damara's memories. Though due to her fusion she was unaware if it was the abilities of a Maid or Witch which let her do such a thing.

However while viewing her memories it put her in a deep, trance-like state so it was only something she did if she was certain she was safe.

Sitting in the observation deck of their renegade spaceship on the run from the Empire surrounded by her friends seemed safe enough, even if she was unaware the bench she was sitting gained another occupant. It wasn't until as sharp elbow jabbed her in the side that she jerked upright and broke out of her musings.

She twisted in place sharply about to strike at whoever poked her only to stop as she instantly recognized the square crimson glasses and sharp-toothed grin. Didn't stop her from elbowing Terezi in the ribs as well shaking off the lingering vertigo of her trance.

"Are we being shot at again?" Aradia asked without missing a beat, her voice amused as as she rubbed at her temples.

Terezi snorted, "Nah, would've been more screaming. Was just walkin' by when I noticed you were completely spaced out."

The Maid shrugged, her wings fluttering briefly on her back, "I was just thinking about the past."

Raising an eyebrow the tealblood leaned back, crossing her long legs as she started to hum. She was wearing a bastardized version of her Legislacerator uniform, the bright crimson and teal clashing but mixed with dashes of the pale green of her Mind palate. The high collar of her uniform did nothing to conceal the long, silvery-coloured scar stretching across the midblood's lean throat and Aradia felt a familiar pang of warm pity despite the fact the two had amicably broken their Diamond off shortly after Conscription sweeps ago. 

Aradia sighed, suddenly feeling immensely tired. That was one problem with reliving her memories; it make everything feel so raw and recent. Trying to recollect her thoughts she leaned forward on the bench with her elbows resting on her knees as she gazed out the massive window on the observation deck, watching the black spread of space dotted with thousands of sparkling stars through the thick glass.

At least the universe wouldn't care if they all died or how badly they screwed up in the coming perigees. It was an oddly comforting thought.

"Kinda morbid, though?" Terezi's voice broke through her thoughts.

"It's rude to listen to my mind," Aradia replied without any malice.

"Hey, not reading your mind. I mean, not really," the ex-Legislacerator made a face, her teal-painted lips twisting up, "Just kinda like getting the vague feel of things of what road your stumbling down; like you thinking even if we fuck up it's all good. Lot of nasty body fluids coming outta places they shouldn't be on that one."

"It is though, isn't it?" she asked, "I read that conversation between Karkat and John and I know full well if Feferi doesn't kill the Condesce then the humans will. And I'm content with that."

"You're fine with failure? And the death of our whole race?"

She shrugged, "Sometimes you just fail. Better off accepting the fact there is a risk our species is going to go extinct then refuse to acknowledge that we might fuck up badly. That way I won't be surprised if things _do_ go rumble spheres up."

Terezi hummed thoughtfully, uncrossing and recrossing her legs as she mulled it over. The tealblood's waist-length hair swayed slightly as she shifted restlessly a few times before Terezi asked, "You really think we're gonna lose?"

"Well, it's like with anything you try; always a risk of failure. Doesn't mean you just fuck off and never try to succeed."

"True. Personally I am totally fed the fuck up with all this running and hiding like a pack of cowering cheese critters. I mean, even while being an agent in the Empire it was annoying as shit; like my paranoia went through the damn roof every time someone spoke to me so I was like 'holy shit do they know I'm a sneak?'" The Seer waved a gloved hand, brow furrowed as she continued, "Then of course Equius got his dumb blue ass captured and I had to save him before he was sent for Re-Education and then it kinda went to total shit and now we've been on the run ever since."

"It would be nice to be able to...well, go on a planet without being on a hit-list and constantly on the look out for Empire assassins," Aradia admitted, "Also without either those rebels or fanatics fawning over you. Like for fucks sake some of those are even worse than the Church and we all know how fried some of those clowns are."

Terezi made a disgusted noise, lips twisting, "Oh shit, don't remind me. Remember how we found those Signless worshipers who literally ground down their own horns to look like Karkat's? Or his Ancestors, whatever. But holy fuck, I wanted to _puke_ it was so screwed up."

"I'll give them points for commitment."

"Yeah, that too. But seriously how completely hiveshit do you have to be to do that to yourself?" Terezi touched her sharp, cone-shaped horns while shuddering faintly, "Like I've seen it happen before when we were at the slave pens and it is horrendous. How the fuck can you do it to yourself? _Voluntarily_ no less?"

Aradia scratched her own horns, feeling the smooth thick spirals as she said, "Waiting for a Messiah who didn't show up for hundreds of sweeps obviously got to their 'pans."

"There's fucked up and then there's _fucked up_ which that bunch totally crossed."

"Eh, long as they do their jobs they can mutilate themselves," Aradia said with a shrug, wings twitching, "As long as they leave me alone. Besides, it was a good wake-up call for Karkat."

Terezi sniffed, "Yeah that cultist-worshiper thing was kinda going to his head. Least he got over it when he saw what they were doing to captured highbloods."

The Maid smoothed down the hem of her shirt, frowning fainting as she spoke, "We're going to have to deal with them if Feferi wins."

"Yay, garbage duty," Terezi cackled, her laughter echoing through the large room before her expression became serious, "But really. I admit I'm half out of my thinkpan over this. Here's hoping our residential royal fish can kick the shit out of the Condesce. And if not, well whatever. Always did kinda wonder how dying in the Glub would feel like. From what Sollux tells me it's just like _pwah_ ," the Seer mimed an explosion around her head, tongue lolling out as she gurgled dramatically. 

Aradia laughed, "Well yes, I admit it would be quite the experience."

"But..." Terezi's expression sobered, "You really think they'd kill the Condesce if Feferi loses?"

With a grunt the Maid stood up, wings flaring on her back and sending dozens of red sparkles to shimmer off them before dying like embers. She brushed down her shirt, the grey fabric emblazoned with her rust-red symbol which matched the short sleeves and hem. Her lower half resembled her Godtier's ones and she scuffed the crimson heel of her shoe on the hard steel floor before she sighed.

She said, "I have no doubt that wasn't an idle threat John delivered; besides, we've fucked up enough as it is and the humans have had to deal with it. Reap what you sow and all that."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I kinda try to block all that out of my thinkpan. All I get is embarrassed 'cause I sucked." 

"Don't feel bad, we all kinda sucked back then."

Terezi barked out another laugh, teeth clacking.

"Anyway, I heard about your crash and burn while trying to talk to the humans again," Aradia teased, red lips curving into a grin.

"Oh _come on_ , that was some grade-A hoofbeastshit," Terezi complained, jumping to her feet, "Like no one else fucked up and got the Dancestors and then there was me. Fumbling around a damn wiggler and going 'oh whoops wrong one my bad' twice over. Like really, even Nepeta got it right and....you know, she's not exactly all there right now."

Aradia snorted, "True. I'll probably try talking to them later. Anyway do we have an estimate when we're gonna reach their planet?"

Terezi frowned, rubbing her jaw as she pivoted in place, her hard-heeled boots clacking on the floor, "I'm not really sure. I mean Sollux isn't hooked into the ship 'cause we don't wanna burn him out when we finally reach their galaxy. So I don't think getting to the galaxy is gonna be the problem since we're going steady; it's gonna be getting past the damn Alternian fleet parked around their planet that's gonna be the major pain in the ass. But yeah, maybe a week? Or depends on what we run into or if the ship kags out or whatever."

"Fingers crossed, huh?"

The Seer laughed again, "Pretty much. Long as we don't crash into a planet or nearly get sucked into a black hole again we're making good time to reach- what's it called again? Dirt?"

"Earth."

"Hehe, really? Like wow, humans have some great naming skills..."

"Oh please," Aradia snorted, "Like we can lecture them about that. Alternia? Oh wow, an alternative to Beforus or those who came before us. Just admit, both our naming skills are pretty crap."

"Yeah yeah, I'll give them that. But whatever, hopefully this reunion will be a lost less 'dead everywhere because murders' like last time," Terezi's smile grew soft, "Like I'm actually pretty excited to see them again. I mean, smell, whatever you know what I mean. I never met them all before I kinda...died ingloriously and everything was over. So it'd be nice if everything didn't result in pretty much all of us dead."

"I think you left a pretty good impression of that when everything was over," Aradia remarked dryly.

Terezi snorted, "Okay, leaving them with the final image of me being pulped up berries and sugary bones must've been fun. But whatever, I'm fine now and pretty sure I'm going to live long enough to see them again. Hopefully. Or maybe I'll give them another encore of my deathly experience."

"And here I thought I was the morbid dead one of the group."

"Eh, who the fuck didn't die in that Game is a better question," Terezi said with a loud scoff, "I'm pretty sure all of us got a good ganking at some point. You just kinda lucked out in remembering it more. Or Karkat, since he's part Seer. Tells me he had some pretty epic daymares before about burning alive and shit from the Game. Least I got the fuck out of dodge with my Seer abilities. Instead I just see potential fuck ups and you get kinda used to it."

Aradia just shook her head, smiling as she leaned against the side of the observation window. Terezi did have a valid point. Unlike Karkat, she never had issues with reliving her death over and over. True, they all had daymares about their horrible fates in those Doomed Timelines which made Aradia suspect their Doomed selves had likewise been fused with them but Karkat and herself got the worst of it.

She wasn't sure why they were affected so badly since she knew for a fact many of her friends had also became sprites in the humans second session of the Game but she guessed it was because she was a sprite in their own Game, not the humans. Aradia wondered if Jade felt like that, not to mention the human was also a Witch. The rustblood made note to try speaking to Jade at the next opportunity.

Terezi meanwhile was picking at her teeth from where she was leaning against the wall, teal-painted lips peeled back with her entire stance nonchalant. 

Abruptly the Seer spoke, "You think what John said was true? Like with that human girl and Makara?"

"Yes," Aradia replied without pause, still gazing out the window.

"Huh," she was silent for a few moments before muttering, "Kinda makes a lot of sense. But _fuck_ I dropped the ball bad on the Meteor. Hindsight and all, you know..."

"It doesn't matter," Aradia said, "Everything happened as it was supposed to."

"Yeah yeah, predetermined shit and all. Doesn't really make me feel better, what with everyone dead. Or mostly dead when we got to the final leg. Also still pretty mad I missed the Condesce getting her bony ass handed to her. Like I'm glad that evil asshole didn't get brought back with all those powers of hers otherwise we'd be in a fuckload of trouble. Still wish I saw it and gotten a few hits in."

Aradia snorted, "It wasn't that fun, a lot more screaming and near death than you'd assume before the Game reset."

"Huh, still wonder who did it though, killing an invincible demon sounds kinda hard and I know it wasn't any of us."

Aradia stayed silent, content to keep that information to herself. She knew Terezi well enough the Seer wouldn't try to force the information out of her, despite both of them knowing she hid a lot from everyone. But that's what Aradia would do; it wasn't her business to share it and she wouldn't say so unless it became crucial. 

Regardless of the fact how Terezi and Aradia were no longer moirails neither had given away each others secrets or suspicions of each other to their current Diamonds. They both knew backstabbing and rumours just lead to death and injury and grief and both were sick of that in their lives.

Terezi looked thoughtful, pushing her square glasses back up the bridge of her nose before she asked, "Do you think you'd die from the Vast Glub? 'Cause you're like Godtier and that shit...You know, on the chance Feferi fucks up and dies and the humans kill the Condesce. Would you stay dead if that happened?"

"I..." Aradia frowned, lips twisting as she fell into deep thought. Quite honestly she didn't know. Oh, she knew the Game rules; a Godtier could only die through Heroic or Just death but they weren't in the Game anymore. She knew Time no longer followed those strict rules so who was to say their lives did? Aradia was unsure but then again she had managed to heal herself in the past using her Witch powers by reversing the damage inflicted on her even if she still found it immensely strenuous. But reversing death? Aradia was no Slyph but she knew from her time as a sprite other classes can heal, it mainly boiled down to their own limitations, imagination and power level. Levels which they now had to grind to a ridiculous degree on their already-existent powers to make any progress on, now that they had no Game enemies, adventures or puzzles to complete.

But despite her own abilities Aradia couldn't bring back the dead even though she could reverse the damage on their bodies. It was incredibly taxing to heal even minor wounds however but even if she returned their bodies to their unblemished, perfect form she couldn't restore life once it was lost. A sobering thought.

"I have no fucking idea," Aradia finally grumbled, scowling, "I'm just going to try not to die and if we do, hopefully we'll do it close to Gamzee's matesprit."

"She's the other Maid isn't she? Their Life player?"

"Yeah, she can bring back the dead. Once per dead person, though. At least...those were the rules within Sgrub. She murdered Karkat in the Game and brought him back to prove some dumbass point. So if the Vast Glub does happen I hope we're conveniently dead near her and she feels particularly merciful."

"Hehe, I heard about that..."

They remained like that for a few more minutes, Aradia slumped against the plane of glass watching the stars while Terezi leaned back against the far wall, idly playing with a lock of her long hair as they pondered upon their potential imminent death. The faint swaying of the ship as it traveled through space was oddly soothing, even if Aradia had a general dislike of being stuck in a giant metal can from perigees on end.

"I wonder why he liked her so much," the Seer suddenly mumbled, more to herself than anything.

"She liked him because of himself," Aradia replied without hesitation.

"How do you know that?" It was spoken neutrally, without any accusation or suspicious. She knew that Terezi vaguely knew about her connection to Gamzee and her influence over the events that folded out in Game. About how she knew about the Doomed Timelines, how she left her music boxes, about just _what_ was in Lord English and how the humans were in that juju she 'conveniently' was there to help carry in another Timeline. All part of the Game, their fates were all predetermined the instant they touched that Game and only a few knew it. Aradia had wondered before if her fellow Time player and sprite carrier knew the same thing and had spent many times raging over the fact she didn't know if they were dead or in a different dimension. She wondered if they would hate her if they knew what she did, or if they hated themselves.

_Whatever. What's done is done,_ she thought, eyes half shut as she replied, "Because I saw some of it. I didn't spend all my time in the Dreambubbles, I spent a lot watching everything and making sure the Timeline followed what it was supposed to do. I mean sure, there were a lot of fuck ups! But that goes with the territory. I didn't want more Doomed ones even if a lot of assholes out there did their best to make more. But yes, he liked her, regardless of what our screeching little leader says. And that memo proves it."

"Huh," was the only response for a few moments before Terezi continued in a thoughtful tone, "I wonder if he'd help her. He didn't really like us, sure. He certainly didn't hesitate to beat our asses when he caught us a few times after Conscription."

Aradia shrugged, "I don't know. I'm hoping he will but he's been in the clutches of those Priestormentors and the Condesce for sweeps and who knows what they've done to him. We'll just have to make do and hope for the best."

"Yeah. I'll try annoying the humans later since we're pretty much in wait mode until we reach their galaxy. Though I think the _real_ hurdle is going to be when we actually reach Earth. Sneaking past the whole Empire Armada to get Feferi close enough to kick some fish ass is gonna be hard."

Aradia pushed herself away from the glass, giving one final look towards the stars before turning and facing Terezi, "We'll deal with that when we get there. If. Whatever, either way everything is going to be over soon enough and we can stop hiding or be dead so we won't care either way."

The Seer stumbled away from the wall, clutching at her chest dramatically, "Ooo, be still my blood pusher! With words like that you should be our leader, Aradia. I'm brimming with hope and vitality for the cause-"

She snorted, "Please, it's the truth, if you want someone kissing your teal ass try those cultists." 

"Blurgh, pass. They give me the featherbeast bumps. Bunch of hiveshits. Anyway, I better get going," Terezi said, stretching slightly and causing her spine to click loudly, "Was actually on my way to try and see if I could get Nepeta to talk with me again but I got distracted by those sugar-spun cherry wings of yours."

Aradia laughed, intentionally flicking her wings, "if only all those people you prosecuted back as a Legislacerator knew how easy it was to break you, falling so easily-"

"I never let that effect my work ethic," Terezi sniffed, trying to sound snobby and completely failing.

"Ahuh," the Maid hummed, eyebrows raised, "But you've reminded me I need to go eat some food, being on the run sure is hungry work."

Terezi made a disgusted face, "I swear, if it's tuber paste again for lunch I'm going to lose my shit. It tastes like sad soggy-ass dirt."

"Yeah, because you're _such_ a dirt eater, don't even deny it," Aradia teased.

"You little-" 

Aradia dodged a gloved fist, laughing as she fluttered her wings as she hopped backwards towards the door, "Getting slow in your old age Pyrope. But I'll leave you to the meowbeast wrangling. Just don't try to rope her into roleplay again, it just upsets her."

Terezi winced, "Okay, not one of my better plans. But I'm not going that route this time, promise and cross my blood pusher. Anyway, you have fun eating that sludge."

"The joys of rebel food, a delight," Aradia answered sarcastically as she left, leaving a faint, sparkling crimson trail behind her while saying over her shoulder, "And it comes with a side dish of potential mass death of our species. Helps choke it right down." 

Terezi's high-pitched cackle followed the Maid down the corridor and Aradia could hear the Seer's faint reply as she called out after the rustblood,

"Well, just remember that it could always be worse!"


	25. Heart

For a long moment Jane just stared blankly at Gamzee, struggling to wrap her head around the causally spoken words he had just uttered.

 _He raised them? How could he raise them?_ her mind babbled at her, frantic and panicked. Trying to fight off a wave of vertigo Jane pressed a hand to her temple; or tried to. In her confusion she ended up accidentally whacking herself in the forehead with the stump of her left arm and causing her to give a sharp noise of surprise. Gamzee quickly placed a hand along her shoulder blades, stopping her from toppling backwards in the warm water.

Gamzee looked frustratingly at ease in the face of Jane's open-mouthed shock, simply cocking an eyebrow at her as she struggled to regroup her erratic thoughts, her breath stuttering. 

After a few failed attempts to talk Jane finally managed to blurt out, voice cracking painfully, "You did, I mean you _raised_ Calliope and Caliborn?"

"Yeah, thought it was kinda like..." he waved a hand, struggling to come up with the word for a few moments before continuing, "I don't fucking know, wasn't it obvious?"

"How the _fuck_ is that obvious?!" Jane exclaimed, jabbing a finger into his scarred chest and glaring at him. Sitting on his lap with him easily supporting her weight meant she was able to push herself up until she was resting upright on her knees, balanced on his broad thighs. At this height she was eye-to-eye with him with her nose inches from his, her lips twisted down into a fierce scowl.

Gamzee just smiled at her, the white paint around the corner of his mouth and eyes creasing as he said, "You really didn't know? Figured you sorted all that shit out."

"Well I didn't! I mean, it's such a ridiculous notion, someone raising them...How did you even do it? It doesn't make sense..." Jane grumbled before resting her forearms on his bare shoulders, the left stump hidden in his dense fur-like hair while her right hand was braced against the side of his neck, feeling his rhythmic heavy pulse throb against her palm. Her breathing was still heightened and Jane's thoughts were shooting back and forth like a panicked hive of bees. In contrast Gamzee looked completely at ease and a part of her wanted to growl at him.

"Like didn't that airy blue do that wayfare zappin' and shit poking about up in the innards of everything working and figure it out?"

"Who- Oh, you mean John? Ah yes, my dear beloved grandson. He did apparently do a lot of jumping about and mixing it up in numerous timelines in the end but I'm still not quite sure if I truly get the heads and tails of it, even after all this time and his repeated attempts to articulate his adventures to me."

"Whatever the fuck he was doing, lighting it about space and time, was a motherfucking hilarious joke, you know?" Gamzee grinned again and Jane grumbled slightly, poking him in the side of the neck with her fingertips. His skin was far thicker with less give in it than a humans, along with being completely hairless. Instead it had a dense, nigh chitinous feel to it as if it had evolved from scales or insectiod plates.

Jane continued to carefully stroke his neck with her whole hand with the other still hidden amongst this thick hair as she carefully thought it over, her earlier bout of near delirious shock shifting into deep contemplation as she rolled the new knowledge around her head. Interestingly enough it now felt as if a large piece of the puzzle had finally slotted into place, answering questions to theories and speculations, finally addressing some of the queries and confusion she had always had towards the Cherubs. It was an oddly bitter truth that filled some obvious holes.

"Ugh...in hindsight it _does_ make a frustrating amount of sense now that I think it over," Jane groaned, leaning forward and pressing her forehead against Gamzee's nose, "I mean the signs were there now that I ponder upon it, the most obvious being Calliope's absolute obsession with trolls. I had always been confused about why she was so fond of them; the only troll I had heard of before you showed up was the Condesce and I could never have imagined Calliope modeling herself after that evil witch. But now knowing she was raised by you....perhaps she had vague memories of you taking care of her?"

Gamzee shrugged, jostling her slightly, "I'm kinda hoping it's that; don't want to think that those lil' fairy dust scaly wigglers of mine completely forgot about me."

Jane hummed in response, trying to keep her breathing calm and even. A part of her wanted to ask why didn't Gamzee deal with Caliborn when it became obvious he was going to turn into a mass murdering monster. She grimaced, instantly feeling ashamed of the dark thought; he raised the Cherubs and expecting him to murder one of his 'children', regardless of how vicious it was turning into, was a fairly cold and calculated way of thinking. It wasn't his fault Caliborn turned into such an ass even though she felt oddly annoyed Gamzee hadn't nipped it in the bud.

Pushing the morbid thought aside, Jane murmured, "Regardless, back then I could barely function due to teenage angst and panic and whereas you were raising two alien children through infancy. Calliope certainly became such a sweet thing; I have nothing but fond memories of her. Caliborn, on the other hand, didn't exactly grow up into something admirable..."

She tried to keep her voice neutral but she could tell from the slight narrowing of Gamzee's eyes that he'd caught the faint note of accusation in her tone.

However he didn't snarl at her about it, instead simply stating, "Yeah well you can raise a wiggler outta a candy swirl goobblebeast egg but you can't change how their think pan is pulsing, you know? I wasn't gonna get my 'voodoos in their little green porous cranial plates even if I motherfuckin' could."

Jane grumbled but had to concede he had a point; from her previous conversations with John years ago she knew Cherubs essentially had their base personalities wired from birth due to their parents. In essence, Calliope had no choice but to be such a sweet trusting girl while her brother had no choice but to be a violent little bastard. It was a fairly depressing thought and made her feel oddly sympathetic for the Cherubs.

"You lot kinda fucked up really good anyway," Gamzee continued, "Trying to fuckin' cheat and of course that shit came back to bite you in the horn bed."

She twitched, fingers digging into the side of his neck, "What are you talking about?"

"It was you mother fuckers who made him in the first place, so don't get your harp on at me. Ain't gotta read your pan to tell you're pissed for that shit, even though it's as dead and rotted like a shadow dropper so why bother bring it up if it just makes your aggravation sponge get all tense and growling?"

Jane groaned before slumping against Gamzee's front, forehead resting against his throat. Her bare chest was pressed against his and Jane shifted until she was sitting sideways on his broad lap, warm water sloshing around her hips as she moved. She felt more than heard his low hum and the clawed hand spanning her shoulder blades began to gently stoke her back, moving slowly up and down as he continued to hum, the vibration causing her to relax slightly. 

Instead of dwelling upon the horrible implications his last sentence brought up Jane turned her thoughts back to his involvement with the Cherubs. His wigglers. His 'children'. A bitter irony, that; she had even more in common with Callope than she thought. Both had trolls within their family trees and Jane had a distant, almost disjointed, certainty at meeting Calliope, at finally meeting the sweet lonely girl and _hugging_ her, despite Jane knowing she hadn't met her in the Game before they won and it had reset.

She sucked in a shaky breath, pressing her face against Gamzee's throat as a hot tear slid down her bruised face. This time she didn't bother wiping it away. Calliope, out of everyone in the Game, deserved to be mourned. A wonderful darling alien who tried her best to help them throughout Sburb, who died at the hands of someone who was an integral part of herself.

Jane remembered all of Dave's tirades about Timelines and she wondered if Gamzee knew his pseudo-children were Doomed to murder one another the instant he found them. How horrible would that have been, to raise someone from infancy while knowing full well they would eventually be killed by their own sibling.

But still, Gamzee's revelation, along with his involvement with the two Cherubs now dragged a long standing query of hers into the fore front of her mind. So pushing back her grief Jane swallowed a few times, willing down the thick lump in her throat before she finally spoke, her voice barely more than a croak.

"Then does that mean Calliope could be alive? I mean, I never thought we would encounter you lot again, especially since a decade passed without incident or contact. Even then we were apprehensive about entertaining the thought during the invasion that you all came with them and lo and behold we had our brief not-so-friendly reunion in that town square. But if you were all brought back along with us isn't it possible Calliope was as well? That she's out there somewhere? That all we need to do is find her?"

Gamzee sighed, a deep exhale of breath that ruffled Jane's still damp hair. A expression of deep melancholy settled onto his painted face, his finned ears curled down as he quietly answered her, "Nah, they wouldn't came back; they weren't all in a session like we were. That fuckin' bitchass Game gotta have more than one Player or it's unwinnable, you know? We fucked up 'cause that bark-featherbeast motherfucker and before that we fucked up 'cause we were as fuckin' useful as an empty bottle of elixir with our fraudulent noise we were hissing all out at each other 'fore everything went up and we started all over again like a shitty clockwork that's too clogged and bolts to do anything."

"But why wouldn't they?" Jane pressed, "They played the Game, so surely-"

"Doesn't work like that, lil' star Maid," Gamzee interrupted, his claws briefly digging into her shoulder, "Those fuckers never played the Game proper; supposed to be more than one Player and 'cause Caliborn sliced open his sis like an overripe cheese critter with that sickly stabbin' licorice mother fuck and make Skaia dark and cloudy and left it dead before everything blew up; once you dead a session it stays deader than a shadow caster and you can't whip out a galaxy croakbeast at the end of it. And all those glowin' orb sprites get sucked into a black hole and the planet the Player is given doesn't even have a fuckin' name or anything so they're fucked from the start."

With a grunt Gamzee shifted back, titling his head up and staring at the ceiling as he carried on speaking in an eerily calm voice, "Like _really_ fucked, not like how we were or even you lot with your Null session- but they like didn't even have a real planet with a name or those little critter things, or enemy fuckers who got all weirder when we threw shit into the sprites or gates or anything. Just had one thing was go talk with that slitherbeast fucker with the choices of whimsy to do shit to get an audience with the miracle monster. Was what Caliborn had to do since he was all alone with no other Player and couldn't do shit; only had two choices."

Jane waited a beat, and when Gamzee didn't continue she tentatively asked, "Which were?"

"What? Oh yeah, either die for something or do a quest and be a supreme ass kicker. You can fuckin' figure which path he chose."

"But there's still a chance! We had a broken session-"

"Nah, you had a Null session; ain't the same as a Dead session. Also you had the planets and shit your spacey barkbeast brought with her along with the rainbow sparkle croackbeast spawn. So you had everything you need; Dead sessions got nothing but a choice. No renewal, no way to make anything knew. Just motherfucked," Gamzee said flatly.

"So she didn't come back," Jane said with a note of depressed finality, her shoulders slumping. She rubbed at her burning eyes with the heel of her palm, breath tight in her chest. Despite everything she had hoped Calliope had been brought back. The poor, sweet lonely girl deserved another chance at life, a chance to live her life away from her horrible abusive little beast of a brother. She could remember all the times Calliope would speak to her, the alien trying her best to cheer her up whenever she felt low and distraught. Jane always appreciated how considerate and sweet she was, such a contrast to her vile brother. Even after the Game they had all kept the logs from her along with Calliope's artwork she drew for them over a decade ago, pinned up upon the walls in the observatory on Jade's island. Jane wondered if the island was still intact or if the trolls had vandalized it as well; at least they had back ups of everything.

She just wished she had been able to met Calliope face to face. To be able to hug her or even just smile at her and tell the alien how much she valued her friendship. She didn't care if Calliope thought herself ugly; she was a lovely person and that was all that mattered to Jane. Sniffed, she wiped at the corner of her aching eye with her fingertips, brushing away an errant tear and grimacing as she pressed against the bruises scattered across her cheek and nose. Now she'd never be able to see Calliope, to speak to her or hug her. It wasn't fair that someone so sweet suffered so much without any kind of reward.

However deep down underneath Jane's renewed grief she also felt a small, hidden sense of relief at the Cherub's demise; if Calliope no longer existed it also meant Caliborn hadn't been brought back along side her. She knew enough from John's tales about Cherubs that an adult Cherub was just as ferocious and destructive as Lord English had been and she felt a horrible, guilt-ridden sense of relief that the two being dead meant they didn't have to deal with a potential adult Cherub with a personal vendetta hunting them down.

It still hurt, though; Calliope didn't deserve the horrible, lonely life she'd been granted.

So Jane blinked back tears, her eyes still swollen and itchy from her previous bout of hysterical crying. She was fairly sure the hysteria wasn't gone, just sated for a while and anything could set off about round of sobbing. Sobbing or berserk fury. One or the other, Jane wasn't too sure. She grumbled, pressing her face against Gamzee's throat as she swallowed thickly. Trying to stave off anymore tears she raked her mind for another topic, eventually landing on something she'd noticed during their little 'reunion' in Abutor's room.

"Gamzee?" said troll perked up as she spoke his name, glancing down at her with an inquisitive look as she spoke against his throat, "When I was in Abutor's room and you came and visited me, it seemed almost like you were speaking to someone else when we were alone. Were you communicating with someone?" Jane knew enough about Subjugglators to be informed about their chucklevoodoos, their blood-bound fear-mongering psychic weapon of choice. She really hoped he wasn't speaking to another clown- otherwise it would harden her doubts over him being a trap.

Gamzee just gave an unconcerned shrug, "Oh yeah, you noticed that, huh? I was just making some thinkpan noise at myself over your little strung up self when I got my gander bulbing on you."

 _He was speaking to himself?_ Jane thought, frowning slightly. She knew, from long conversations with Rose about the trolls, that the 'Highbloods' were far more prone to psychosis along with extreme anger and violence issues. Though Jane was no psychologist she knew enough about psychosis that one of the main traits of extreme, later stage psychosis was hallucinations, rampant mood swings and disorganized speech along with an inability for prolonged focus on topics.

Traits Gamzee had all exhibited at one point or another; both when she first met him in the Game and now she was quite convinced he still suffered from it. His earlier comments about viewing her presence and their relationship back in Sburb as a hallucination cinched it. She would have to branch out into that topic soon, to help cement the memories. The last thing she wanted was for him to dismiss her again as a hallucination.

Jane pondered upon the issue for a long minute before eventually asking him, "So you were just talking to yourself? About me?" 

"Pretty much."

"...May I ask why?"

He seemed surprised at her question, finned ears perking up and his lips pursing. Jane had no idea why he was caught off guard; it seemed like a perfectly legitimate query. Or had no one bothered to question him about his habits?

"Well, just seeing you all.." he frowned, nails digging slightly into her shoulder blades before relaxing as he struggled to explain, "Like you were all tucked up small and sweet in my diamond candy heart, you know? Yet you were leaking out your heretic life juice all over the white and my thinkpan just up and started jabbering at me 'cause I've seen that shit before, you know? Not me, but the other me who wasn't a part of me back then."

The Maid made a thoughtful noise, trying to decipher his lingo as he carried on talking, "But you were all hurt and I'd already seen one heart hurt, you know? And both were my fault; first getting my chitinous windhole screaming noise on and bursting those auricular sponge clots and getting all that green blood all over and not listening to anymore noise. Then you were hanging there all hurt and bleeding and it...kinda made me remember what I did when I wasn't me, you get it?"

 _No,_ Jane thought but outwardly she nodded, rubbing her bruised nose against a long scar stretched along Gamzee's collarbone. Truthfully she had no idea what he was rambling about on his odd 'me but not me' tangent, but as long as he continued to speak with her she was content for the time being. At the moment she just listened to his words and felt the thick vibrations emanating from his windpipe where her forehead was resting against. 

Gamzee let out a deep huff and shifted his head slightly to nuzzle against her damp hair before he carried on, "Couldn't figure out which star-dusted quadrant you wanted to insinuate yourself into; one minute you'd be all getting your mating fondness on me, the next you'd be papping and fixing me up and trying to feed me, making sure I wasn't fucked up."

Jane just hummed, breathing slow and steady. She could feel the steady throb of his pulse against her forehead where she was pressed against him and could hear the odd thump of his heart. She kept her arms braced around his shoulders, her severed stump hidden in his thick hair. With her whole hand she toyed with a long strand of the ragged hair before saying, voice quiet, "I guess that's a human thing; we don't do the whole separation with our emotions when we're engaged in a relationship with another person. Rose attempted to explain it to me but I find the whole thing quite frankly ridiculous. Why would you not attempt to take care of someone you are intimate with? And why would you want to be in a relationship where you hate and hurt each other? It sounds completely barbaric."

"I dunno, you humans do weird shit with your quadrants; I liked it though. Made my blood pusher get all squirmy, knowing you actually gave any kind of fuck about me. Kinda turned into static noise and I couldn't figure out what was real and what was just my thinkpan hissing at me or my other memories that weren't really mine."

She didn't understand why he'd gone so long thinking she wasn't real- she recalled his earlier comments about thinking she was a hallucination and she couldn't help but ask, "Didn't any of your friends help you? Granted I never really met them before the Game reset and everything was restored, but they knew me- or at least heard of me."

"Knew, but didn't give enough of a fuck to open that can of dirt noodles so my thinkpan was mired in that shit until I saw your little self a few days ago."

That just confused Jane even further, "But didn't your friends speak to you? I mean, I know quite a few from your session had...erm, perished, but there was quite a few of you left. Six? Or maybe eight? I'm not quite sure. But either way surely they spoke to you and helped you realized that I wasn't just a-"

"No," the words came out with a sharp snap of teeth. 

Jane blinked, trying to understand where his obvious anger was stemming from, the thick muscles she was resting against suddenly taunt with annoyance, "No...? But surely your friends helped you, or at least offered assistance. I mean, there were twelve of you playing the Game and another three on the meteor with Dave and Rose so-"

" _No_."

Jane fell silent, not wanting to provoke him further. From the viciousness of his tone it was blatantly obvious he wasn't on good terms with any of his fellow Game Players. Despite the harshness of his words however, the hand rubbing her shoulder blades remained light and gentle. Raking her mind she tried to think of a way to change the topic, not wanting the awkward, tense silence to continue but she was beaten to the punch by Gamzee.

"Why do you even care?"

The question surprised her; leaning back she peered up at his face, brow furrowed, "What kind of question is that? Of course I care! And quite frankly I am fairly offended that you think so little of me," Jane snapped, trying to suppress the anger out of her voice.

Gamzee just gave a low grunt. Jane shifted back, grabbing into his broad shoulder with her whole hand and leaning further back until she was looking more evenly up into his face. He was watching her with a neutral expression and Jane felt another spike of rage at how easily he dismissed her feelings. Did he truly think she was so shallow and manipulative that she had simply been toying with him while they were in the Game?

A more rational part of her mind pointed out Gamzee had been stuck completely without a support system since the Game reset then the Empire got their murderous little hands on him. Because he was the Grand Highblood he probably had to deal with the Empress quite frequently and Jane knew what it was like to have that evil witch's attention. But in that moment Jane didn't care about tact, smacking him hard on the chest with her hand and nearly toppling herself over. Only his hands, one resting on her shoulders and the other holding her hip, prevented her from falling over into the steaming water. 

Even so she swatted him on the chest again before jabbing him in the nose with her index finger then snapping at him, "Gamzee, I don't think you noticed but I actually genuinely _liked_ you. I wouldn't have put up with you for so long if I didn't! Did you honestly think I was simply toying with you?"

At the end of her small tirade she felt tears of fury sting her eyes and she angrily scrubbed at them with her hand; she was sick and tired of crying everywhere like a broken faucet, even if she knew it was a perfectly logical thing to do after all the crap she'd gone through recently. Gamzee didn't say anything, just continued to watch her with bright eyes; that was another she noticed was different to how she remembered him. Before his eyes always seemed half lidded and docile, as if he was about to fall asleep. Now they reminded her of a predator, vibrant and alert, watching her with a all-consuming interest and Jane had to stop herself from squirming under the weight of his stare.

But she'd endured the vipers nest that was corporate business with a poker face that now rivaled the Striders so instead of fidgeting she simply smoothed out her features and lifted her chin slightly.

She was caught off guard when Gamzee's expression softened and he suddenly hefted her up in his thick arms and started nuzzling at her face like an affectionate cat. Jane let out a started gasp before she started giggling, rubbing her nose against his as the massive troll let out a deep rumbling huff, his tongue briefly flicking out to lightly lick her temple. She smiled, running her hand down the side of his face and following the thin scar along his jaw.

He nuzzled her a few more times, smearing paint across her face and through her hair before drawing back. His finned ears were perked up and a broad smile appeared on his face, showing rows of long teeth. Typically such a thing could be considering 'horrifying' but Jane just found it cute, even with his nightmarish mark of paint. Probably the long years of being a doctor and dealing with gore and other such horrors made her inured to typical disgust and she was used to morbidity. So instead of shying away she gave him a smile of her own before leaning up and giving him a soft, tentative kiss on the tip of his nose before pulling back.

Gamzee let out a low, contented rumble as he settled back against the side of the bath, sending small waves cresting through the steaming water and Jane leaned back against his front, bare breasts resting against his chest as she trailed her remaining hand along his broad shoulder, forehead pressed against his sternum. Long claws ran through her hair, occasionally snagging on knots and Jane shivered when he dragged his other hand down her back, lightly scraping the freshly healed skin.

Her breath hitched and Jane shifted, trying to quell the rising heat consolidating in her gut. It had been a long time since she'd be in such an intimate position with someone and feeling his slow even breaths rock her back and forth was lulling her into a deep sense of ease. She let out a soft noise, digging her fingers into his shoulder and rubbing at the thick band of muscle, struggling to shove back the growing warm steadily creeping along her limbs and making her feel light headed.

Gamzee seemed oblivious to her internal conflict and instead angled his head down slightly and snuffled at her hair, pulling her closer against him and Jane had to fight back a blush as her breasts were pressed more firmly up against his chest. She had no idea how he could be so at ease with everything, whereas she could still feel a electric hum of hysteria bubbling at the edge of her mind. However his calmness helped lower her anxiety, his nonchalantly patting of her soothing her as if she was an odd breed of lapdog. She wondered how much he remembered about her, since he apparently viewed her as a hallucination for so long or if he was just treated her like some injured stray.

However Jane knew enough, from long discussions with Rose, that trolls apparently worked on a strange sense of pity towards who they exhibited affection towards; it made sense, in an odd way. For a species born, bred and raised for brutality and carnage allowing someone to see all of their vulnerabilities and weaknesses required an immense amount of trust and familiarity. Therefore knew enough about trolls that Gamzee letting her get this close to him unhindered was a massive display of trust, despite the fact she was currently wounded she could still easily harm him, especially since she was so close to his unarmoured throat and could easily crush his trachea and esophagus with her hand in the position she was in, suffocating him.

Then again at the moment one of Gamzee's hands was splayed fully across her shoulder blades and he could probably puncture her spinal column with his claws if she enraged him. Jane decided to cast away though morbid thoughts- even if they were more matter of fact than anything -and instead searched for another topic to broach with him. Both as a means to keep the conversation going and to distract herself from the fairly inappropriate warmth growing in her lower stomach, so instead she cast her mind back to what she currently knew about troll kind.

"So," she started, "You managed to make it off Alternia, obviously enough. Do they just...is it an annual thing? Since apparently adults were made illegal."

"Conscription? Yeah, like a sweep or so before we're gonna get our hard shell of goopy goo and get our adult on," Gamzee replied, not thrown off by her abrupt question, "I think a couple of us got off that clusterfuck rock the proper way. Or legal, I don't fucking know. Others had to sneak off or risked getting their dirt noodle guts spilled out all over the Rainbow Fields or by the drones."

"So some people try to become fugitives and refuse going to Conscription?" she asked.

"Yeah, quite a few. Either ones who know they're too fucked to make it or those thinkpan fried motherfuckin' rebels or whatever they call themselves. 'Course before all that you gotta get your red and black bucket on, give that shit to the drones or they'll slice you right up and open."

"So what about you? From what I learned from Rose trolls had to have those quadrants filled? I can't recall which ones but apparently you needed them or you'd get...killed, as you said," she finished awkwardly.

"That was kinda what I was getting all ready for when Conscription happened and the Empire got it's appearance on Alternia, you know? We're supposed to give our shit to the drones then fuck off to the fields to get all sorted out. Actually, weeded out I suppose. Whatever. Buckets kill off a few then at the fields- like kinda named Rainbow fields actually 'cause all of the dying going on down there -the drones go through everyone again to make sure any cripples and mutants don't slip through."

"But aren't all your Priests mutants? Or at least they have handicaps," Jane said, "One is mute, another deaf and one is even missing his eye balls. Wouldn't that make them undesirable? Also that female one, with her horrible spitting acid...that seems like a mutation to me."

Gamzee shrugged, "Yeah but we're Highbloods, you know? We can get by with that shit, not like the other bloods."

Jane frowned but said nothing. She didn't even know why she was surprised. Of course the Empire, and by extension the Condesce, were massive hypocrites along with being a bunch of sadistic murderers. Things the so-called 'Lowbloods' were killed for without hesitation were acceptable for Highbloods to posses. The more she learned about troll society the more she hated everything and her loathing for that vile woman who turned it into such a putrid, hateful state deepened.

"But isn't the drone thing mandatory? For...I don't know, the survival of your race? Something about a giant...grub thing?"

He laughed, jostling her, "Something like that. Pretty sure I was gonna get my dead on, though, if it wasn't for Condy."

 _Condy?_ Jane's fingers clenched in Gamzee's hair, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. She didn't like the use of that odd nickname as it implied a strong level of familiarity between the two. She's seen Abutor's reaction to her carelessly using both the Condesce's and Grand Highblood's true names and she'd wager using nicknames would have the same kind of violent response, especially towards such a vain creature as the Empress. Pushing aside her rather inappropriate jealously Jane decided to focus on the more pressing issue on the fact Gamzee had apparently nearly died. No, not died, had nearly been murdered.

"How did she help you?"

"She forked the drone who was about to spill my purple all over," Gamzee said, tone nostalgic, "Like I told the drone to fuck off when it came up and started hissing noise at me like some shaken up bottle of elixir. 'Cause like you said, usually you get killed the instant you say no but 'cause I'm a Highblood it was going lenient until it knew my resolve was planted right in the middle of fuck off so yeah, was gonna slice me open like a fatty oinkbeast on the twelfth Perigee's Eve then a fuckin' trident snuffed it out before it could."

"She killed it?" Jane asked, frowning against Gamzee's throat, "Why was she even there?"

"She was hunting about for her Heiress."

"Ah."

Jane had heard enough from Rose and Dave that she was well aware of the weird death-duels the Condesce would get into with her Heiresses and how she'd killed her Heiresses with ease for centuries after taking the throne. Or so the Meteor trolls told them. But it cast a disturbing light on the Condesce's fixation on her within the Game; Jane had no idea why the vicious fish alien wanted another Heiress so much if all she did was murder them. Then again, the evil woman had tried her best to kill who Jane really was and turn her into a vicious little clone of her.

Taking a deep breath, Jane exhaled slowly until she shook off the cold rage that had started to creep up into her. Flying into a fury really wouldn't help, even if she kept on getting the urge to go hunt the Condesce down and beat her smug face in with her remaining hand. Instead Jane shoved her churning feelings aside and asked, "But why did she help you? I mean, if she was wandering the beaches looking for her wayward Heiress I doubt an adolescent troll would interest her."

Gamzee snorted, shifted his arms until the one caressing her back had slid up and started stroking her hair with the other settling on her hip, the warm water lapping against them. It was a few moments before he finally responded, and when it did his voice was laced with irritation, "Figured she got her gander bulbing on my shirt; from what she's been voicing at me she was all up and tight with my Ancestor so maybe felt she was doing a deed by saving my bony ass on that beach- she and he were all together and snug and sweet like even back before she was...Well, before she even was the mother fuckin' Condesce."

"She was close friends with your Ancestor?"

"Yeah, like fuckin' wigglerhood shit and all; even went with her when she got in her fuckin' duel with the old Empress 'fore she forked the old one all up and good and took her throne. From what Gratia told me they were real fucking close, to the point no one else managed to get all tight with her like he was. Apparently she was real upset when he got death dragged on him."

"So what happened to him? I know you Highbloods live for an extremely long time, so I doubt old age got him."

Gamzee snorted, shifting Jane in his lap until he was supporting her in the crook of his left arm. Jane obliged his nudging so she was sitting sideways across his broad thighs, pulling her arms away from his shoulders and leaning up against his naked chest, damp forehead resting against his sternum. Gamzee's other hand settled on his knees, submerged in the warm water.

He honked softly a few times before finally responding, "Nah, my Ancestor got his death in a rebellion on Alternia; took on a motherfucking wicked Lowblood with wings who got him good. Went both ways, though. Fucker stabbed him but he killed the bugwinged blasphemer 'fore dying from his injuries. Condy was really getting her grief on, from what Gratia told me during that boring history shit. Was so fuckin' furious and blood pusher broken she banned adults from Alternia. Kinda snuffed out the fire both ways since it stopped any further fuckers starting shit with her and her Empire 'cause they were all scattered through the stars."

Jane's nails dug slightly into Gamzee's chest, scraping against one of his smaller scars, "So you've spent a lot of time with her since she spirited you away?"

Gamzee either didn't notice or care about her concerned tone, "Well yeah. Gotta deal with her quite a bit, 'cause I'm the Grand Highblood. Even before I became that she was always just kinda there, talking to be and...I dunno, almost like she was trying to play lusus with me all the time. Making sure I ate, just randomly showing up to say her greetings at me and baking me shit. Kinda weird, but she was always just there so I had to deal with her a lot. Even now she keeps on inviting me to these...the fuck she call 'em, 'ofishial shoal hullabeluga' or something. I dunno, that shit is boring as fuck but it's got good food and the entertaining is pretty funny. Motha fuckin' seadwellers are annoying though, uptight fuckers most of them and stickin' their sniff nodes into everything."

"Don't you get tired of her? She seems a bit...A bit intense," Jane ended lamely.

His grip on her knees tightened slightly as he growled out, "She is pretty fuckin' needy sometimes; always wanting to know what the fuck I'm up to and constantly barking noise at me and touching me all the time. Can be fucking annoying. Doesn't help all the Priests keep on whinging on about how I should get along with her and shit and Eminor keeps on saying I should try quadrants with her."

For a few seconds Jane thought she'd misheard him and she leaned back against his thick arm, staring up at his face. His eyes were closed but she knew he was alert so she asked, "They've been pushing you to have a relationship with her? A romantic relationship just because your Ancestor was involved with her?"

He just shrugged in response.

Disgust squirmed in her gut alongside a no small amount of jealously but overriding it all was a terrible sense of horror. It sounded like the trolls had been _grooming_ Gamzee up to be a companion for the Condesce. A _replacement_ for his Ancestor, who died centuries ago.

And yet Gamzee didn't seem to notice the sinister underbelly of the Condesce's interest in him, much less his fellow Subjugglators encouragement of her unhealthy affection and their attempts to force him into a relationship simply because his Ancestor had been. He just spoke of the whole thing with irritation, as if he found the ministrations of them all more annoying than disgusting.

 _Obviously,_ she scolded herself, _Gamzee has been left alone for ten years- and from his previous comments none of his 'friends' saw fit to help him; not even help him verify that I actually existed, much less keep him out of the Empire's vicious hands and away from that horrible witch and her manipulations._

That last thought caused her to scowl; she was quite tempted to punch those so-called 'friends' of his in the face if she ever met them. Jane had no idea how she would've functioned after the Game if it wasn't for her family. Admittedly they spent the first year or so behaving as if it largely didn't happen before the dam broke and pretty much all of them started getting blindsided by PTSD and general angst. Jane lost count of how many times she'd woken up screaming or rang up one of her friends in the middle of the night to make sure they hadn't died or went crashing through her father's bedroom door- once literally -at the crack of dawn to verify he was still alive. The potent nightmares had died down through the years, yet the horrifically clear one she had earlier made her doubt they would ever vanish. Or perhaps meeting Gamzee had triggered some new ones? 

But regardless, his fellow Game players deserved a smack in the face for not helping him. She knew enough that both of the trolls sessions were abject failures but she had no idea why he was alienated so badly; apparently murder and maiming was common place and Jane would be a hypocrite if she condemned him for killing some of his fellow players when she had done the same.

Shaking off a tide of morbid thoughts and self loathing Jane toyed with a strand of Gamzee's thick hair, her other still hidden amongst the black strands. With a soft huff she pulled her face away from his neck slightly, peeking up at Gamzee's face. His eyes were shut, head titled down slightly and breaths long and even. If she hadn't know better she would've thought he'd fallen asleep. But she had something she had to ask.

"Did you think I was doing that to you?" Jane asked, quiet and soft.

At his confused grunt she elaborated, "You don't think my affection towards you back in the Game was just because you were convenient, do you? I noticed your irritation about the Condese's ministrations towards you. I stand by what I said; I never would have spent so much time with you, much less enter a romantic relationship with you, if I didn't care. I did."

Gamzee's eyes opened, his pupils a vibrant purple as he watched her with an all-consuming interest. Jane felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up from the intense scrutiny of his stare but she refused to be cowered, instead she continued to watch him with her face carefully molded into a blank mask. However the minutes began to drag on and he continued to just stare at her and Jane couldn't help but begin to squirm.

"I mean, I still like you. I wouldn't be sitting here if I didn't trust you to some extent," Jane said, trying to tone down the intensity in her voice, "You could've left me in that room with Abutor. You could've snapped my neck or bitten my face off during our fight. But you didn't. Instead you let me go. Instead you rescued me."

Still, he didn't respond and Jane began to feel rage churn about in her gut in the face of his refusal to acknowledge her words so she snapped out, "If you honestly think that I would be so cruel and frivolous with my affection than I really am beginning to question if you had any idea about who I am as a person!" she slapped him on the chest for emphasis as she continued her tirade, "I chose to get involved with you because I liked _you_ as a person! You were funny, and strange and sweet and you liked me. You made me laugh, you liked baking with me and you were just...you were just nice and I appreciated you. Yes, loneliness may have hastened my choices somewhat yet I never would've gotten intimate with someone who I didn't have genuine feelings for!" 

Angrily she plucked up the necklace laying against her bare chest, holding up the silver chain so the purple smiley was spinning slowly. She shook a few times, glaring at Gamzee as she did so before continuing, "Do you see this? Roxy _made_ this for me! Because I thought this was your symbol for so long and that was one of the things I remember about you; you and that atrocious Bard outfit you wore. So she made it for me and I've worn it practically every day since then to remind myself about you. Same with all the messages I sent!"

She glared up at him, blue eyes bright with anger and noticed the expression of surprise on his face which caused her to say, "So you didn't know about that?" she jabbed a finger into his chin, "I sent you a message every day for the first month we came back! I thought you might have been on Earth, lost and disorientated and I wanted to find you. Eventually we either assumed you were dead or restored back in your own dimension; we had no idea where you all were. But I didn't care. So instead I kept on sending you messages; first every day, then every week and finally every month. Eventually I was just doing it so I could tell someone _other_ than my family about everything we were achieving, but it was also because I missed you and I wanted you to know I was still thinking about you and wanted to meet you again. That I still cared."

"So I really don't give a toss if you no longer have feelings for me; however I sincerely doubt that is the case because you could've left me there and we both know it. But don't you _dare_ think that I was simply intimate with you because you were 'convenient' or because you remind me of someone else like that horrible witch is doing to you! I chose to get in a relationship because I liked you and I cared for you! Not for any other reason!"

But the end of her rant Jane's breath was coming in short and quick, her hand clenched tightly around her necklace. Gamzee didn't react to her fury other than watching her with a stunned expression on his face, mouth open slightly. She was tempted to swat him again to make him respond but she figured that wouldn't exactly contribute to the conversation or hasten his response. She had said her piece.

She was expecting any kind of volatile reaction from Gamzee; either him to start yelling right back at her to him throwing her off his lap or even for him to just snarl at her.

What she certainly wasn't expecting was for Gamzee to suddenly lift her up in his arms, one broad hand cradling the back of her skull and the other sliding down her hips and cupping her rump. She swayed in his grip, confused, and was about to ask him just what did he think he was doing when he abruptly pulled her up and kissed her.

Jane let out a muffled squeak of surprise, completely caught off guard as he pressed her closer against him, claws pricking against her naked skin and causing her give a grunt as the air was knocked out of her lungs as he kissed her with surprising intensity. 

Then Jane was pressing back against him, one hand sliding up into his thick hair, her injured arm slipping around the back of his thick neck. The smell of facepaint, sweat and blood filled her nostrils as she tentatively kissed him back, letting him lick his way into her mouth as sharp teeth pricked her bruised lips. 

She shifted, trying to squirm closer to him. As she did, she tipped to the side and seized a handful of Gamzee's rough hair to avoid falling over which caused him to jerk back with a low grunt, lip curling slightly and his claws biting into the skin of her thighs.

"I- shit, Gamzee, I'm sorry-" she stopped babbling when Gamzee leaned forward and gave her a sloppy kiss, before drawing back slightly and affectionately nuzzling the side of her face. The contrast between his cool breath and the heated steam rising from the bath water caused her naked flesh to break out into goosebumps as he exhaled along the slope of her neck. She shuddered, rubbing her nose against his brow while ignoring the white paint steadily getting smeared across her face. Sucking in an unsteady breath she leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the nearest scar stretched along his cheekbone, gently mouthing along the raised skin and trailing the grey line along the bridge of his nose before reaching his lips.

They kissed, long and deep before gently separating, foreheads pressed together. Jane wrapped her left arm more firmly around his neck as she ran her hand down the side of his face, brushing against the miniature fins along the underside of his ears before she mumbled, eyes stinging, "I missed you."

Gamzee's entire face softened, mouth shifted into a smile and the skin across his eyes creased before he let out a deep hum, the hand resting on the base of her skull gently tugging her forward as he kissed her again, licking into her mouth with his rough tongue to which she shyly responded, pressing her tongue against his and tasting the sweet tang of faygo on his pallet. 

She let out a soft moan while running her right hand across his temple, finger tips brushing each of his scars before sliding to the side of his face and touching his finned ear. Gamzee let out a huff as he broke the kiss and began to mouth along her throat, raspy tongue laving at the sensitive skin.

Her breath shaky she ran her fingers along the small tines decorating the lobe of his ear, the leathery skin twitching slightly as she ran the pads of her fingers along the smooth skin and caused him let out a contented rumble.

"You didn't...you didn't always have these," she said, sucking in an unsteady breath as Gamzee licked at her pulse point and shivering as she felt the pressure of Gamzee's long incisors against the thin skin of her throat. 

"Hmm, grew that shit when I got my adult on," he rasped, claws digging into the thick meat of her thighs and catching onto the dark fabric of her underwear. With a grunt he twisted his hand and without preamble tore the offending fabric right off her hips, causing her to let out a gasp of surprise and sending water sloshing against them.

Now completely naked Jane dug her fingernails into the base of his ear, causing him to let out a groan and start licking at the sweat-slick skin of her sternum.

Jane felt as if she was about to burst; the steam from the hot water was making her light headed and her earlier arousal flared back up, a thick pool of heat gathering in her lower stomach along with a deep ache that began to pulse between her legs as she pressed herself up against him, breast squashed up against his collarbone. Moaning faintly she butted the side of her face against his as he continued to mouth along her sensitive skin, teeth digging in slightly.

A more rational part of Jane's mind protested that perhaps having desperate sex with a lover she'd been estranged from for a decade wasn't the wisest of decisions but at the moment Jane didn't care about being rational or doing things logically; she was raw and hurting from the weeks worth of brutality, torture, panic and hysteria and now all she wanted to do was feel close to someone and now someone who she had spent a ridiculous amount of time pinning and mourning for was right before her and offering intimacy. She wasn't going to turn that down. 

Gamzee effortlessly lifted her higher, easily supporting her weight as he continued to lick at her hot skin with his rough tongue. He followed droplets of sweat trickling down her front, nipping lightly at her skin as he steadily made his way down her front, briefly catching the chain of her necklace as he worked his way down.

Jane's breath was coming in shallow pants, eyes half lidded as she shifted her hand from his ear and reaching through the tangled mat of hair for the nearest horn. 

The noise he let out when she dug her nails into the sensitive skin surround his horn caused her to let out a breathless laugh; he retaliated by tilting his head down and licking her breast, his rough tongue catching on the sensitive skin of her nipple and caused her to cut off her laugh with a squeak, body shaking. Her breath came fast and quick as he continued to lave at her nipple, the texture of his tongue causing her to moan and shake, her thighs becoming slick with her own fluid as she squirmed in his grip.

Gamzee let out a deep grunt, momentarily pausing his licking to nuzzle at her chest as he drew in several breaths and Jane gave a low whine as she realized he could most certainly smell how desperately aroused she was due to his superior senses. However he didn't seem perturbed, instead giving her breast a gentle kiss and a soft bite, long teeth gently nipping at the tender flesh.

The thick, almost overwhelming pulse between her legs caused her to give out a low whine of discomfort and Gamzee suddenly shifted, moving his head up and giving her a quick kiss on the lips; the contrast between her overheated skin and his colder flesh caused her to moan and eagerly press against his lips, biting onto the skin when he tried to move back and causing him to let out a low growl. This just caused her to groan, tugging at his long hair to try and pull him back into another kiss. He obligated, crushing her up against him and kissing her so hard he knocked the breath out of her lungs and inadvertently cut her upper lip with his sharp incisors. 

He gave a low whine, licking lightly at the wound in apology before shifting the hand cradling the back of her head down her neck and trailing it down her back. His claws scraped against the freshly-healed skin of her back and she moaned faintly, eyes fluttering shut. 

Jane was too aroused to be self conscious or shy as Gamzee leaned back against the side of the bath and pulled her forward so her knees were resting on his thick shoulders as he easily pulled her forward with both of his hands braced on her hips. She was bowed over his face, forehead resting against the thick, dense strands of his hair as she felt him nip slightly at the skin of her lower thighs.

Her breath was coming in sharp and quick as she felt cold breath puff against the sides of her wet thighs before pushing forward and curiously nuzzling at her pubic hair before he tugged her close and licked a long wet path along her slit, rough tongue sliding into her yielding wetness and causing her to let out a sharp noise as she shook violently as if she'd been electrocuted.

He snorted against her as his clawed hands slid down her thighs and gripped the back of her knees, pulling her more firmly against him and making her let out a high-pitched yelp. Water splashed up against them, the sharp contrast between Gamzee's cold skin and her own super-heated flesh making her dizzy and light headed. 

Any cognitive thought was blown out of her head as he licked her again, the sharp contrast in texture causing her to shake and squeak as he laved at her inner folds. A strangled whine escaped Jane and she flailed, trying to grab onto something to steady herself before managing to seize his horn with her remaining hand.

She could have held out for a few more minutes, shaking and moaning as he explored her wetness with curious interest but then he started purring, a thick deep vibration that emanated from his throat and rolled right up into her sensitive wetness and pushing her right over the edge, causing her to cry out, thighs clamping tight around Gamzee's face. Jane jerked violently, toes curling and spine arching as a flash of heat roiled through her body and thick, overwhelming pleasure pulsed through her and blinding her to everything else, fingers bone white on where they were gripping his horn.

For a long moment Jane remained locked in place, eyes unfocused and breathing shaky and shallow before she suddenly slumped forward like a puppet with its strings cut. Gamzee effortlessly caught her, tugging her up against front with Jane still half sprawled over his head. She felt more than heard him laugh as he gently shifted her around until she was half-supported on his shoulder and upper arm, both of his claws hands helping her stay upright as she sagged against him, head resting against the wild thick curls of his hair. 

Gamzee cooed something at her as his cold hand stroked along the side of her sweat-soaked thigh and caused her to shake as the thick callouses on his hands brushed across her overly sensitive skin. Groaning lowly Jane moved so the side of her face was pressed against the smooth length of his horn, feeling the deep vibrations of Gamzee's consistent purring.

Slowly she managed to even out her breathing, skin slick as she shifted in place before she started patting Gamzee's head, running her fingers through his thick hair and hearing his purring grow even louder. She smiled, rubbing her nose into the fur-like hair before giving a contented sigh.

After a few long minutes of being slumped against Gamzee's side in a post orgasmic haze she finally forced herself to move, still feeling groggy and disorientated as she carefully eased her face and upper torso out of the tangled mat of his dark hair. Her right hand was still holding onto his horn, struggling to maintain her grip on the smooth surface.

Then Jane slid backwards and made the mistake of trying to grab onto Gamzee's other horn with her spare hand, momentarily forgetting she was missing that one and promptly fell out of Gamzee's lax grip and into the warm bath water with a loud splash, becoming completely submerged in seconds. She reemerged nearly instantly, shocked back into acute awareness while she spluttered and hacked as water streamed down her face. Coughing she pushed her wet fringe back, shakily trying to keep on her feet as the water slapped nosily against her chest.

Gamzee, after a brief moment of looking surprised, burst out laughing and Jane splashed him, causing him to cut off his laughter with a snort.

"Stop laughing!"

"Why? You're fucking adorable," he grinned.

Jane grumbled out a curse even as she blushed brilliantly, her ears burning as she awkwardly wiped some droplets off her face.

 _Oh knock it off,_ she thought, trying to banish her rising self consciousness, _you just pretty much had sex with him; there really is no need to waste your time on being embarrassed. Not to mention trolls work on pity from what Rose said, so he's probably seeing you all wounded and started positively swooning,_ she couldn't help but giggle at that last thought, still fairly slaphappy and imagining a fourteen foot tall alien clown fainting dramatically.

She quickly fell silent as she glanced over at said troll; his expression was soft and his jagged facepaint smeared and caused Jane to shyly duck her head when she made eye contact again.

"Erm yes, well then, uh about all that," Jane fumbled, awkwardly rubbing the nape of her neck, "Well I do believe this entire conversation got, erm, kinda away from us. I just want you to know....actually, I don't know what I want you to know. I'm, um, too giddy and disorientated right now."

Gamzee just shrugged, seemingly unperturbed by the fact their reunion involved a death fight, torture, than some rather inappropriate promiscuity in a pool-sized bathtub in the midst of an invasion. Instead he seemed to be getting more and more amused by how flustered she was getting, his smile widening as he watched her and caused her to fumble with her words. It had been a long time since she'd had someone look at her with such blatant interest and affection and she had to drag her mind from wandering back to their previous activities.

However the way Gamzee kept on looking at her, as if she was something precious, made her fidget and she glanced away and started trailing the fingers of her whole hand through the hot water, watching the swirling patterns rather than focus on Gamzee as she mumbled, "Forgive me, I don't suppose I've been exactly presenting myself in the best possible light, what with my previous bouts of fury and rather crass behaviour."

"I dunno, you're pretty sweet," Gamzee said, a teasing tone in his voice, "And I mean that in every fuckin' way."

"I-how did-stop that, you nasty, dirty clown!" Jane squawked, utterly scandalized with her voice cracking and caused him to burst out laughing. 

Jane splashed him again, causing him to let out a snorting honk before he started to laugh even more. Jane was quite sure she was a few seconds away from her face actually catching fire and she hurriedly wiped some more water droplets from her face before she glanced over at the steam-slick side of the tub.

"Um, do you need to...um, do you want to...?" Jane trailed off, still shaky and weak on her feet as she gestured towards him, feeling rather rude that she hadn't offered to return the favour to him after he had been so generous to her.

"Huh? Nah, nah, don't worry, I'm fucking fine for the time being. Beside, you're all shivery like a lil' squeak beast left in a rain," he said, his tone still playful and eyes sparkling with mischief, "Wouldn't feel right, working you to exhaustion when we just all up and met again, even if it was really motherfucking fun."

Jane smiled, ducking her head, "Well...well, alright, if you're sure..." flustered she bent down and splashed some water along her face, scrubbing off the facepaint their intimacy caused to get smeared all across her skin. It took a few moments to wipe herself clean of the paint and through it all Gamzee continued to watch her with a soft expression, not at all hindered by his nightmare mask.

She gave him a quizzical look but all he did was smile at her, showing long rows of white teeth and Jane squirmed, freshly reminded that not even minutes ago those teeth were mouthing along the soft skin of her thighs and nipping at the tender flesh of her breasts.

"Oh good gravy, alright I think that is quite enough bath time for me," Jane suddenly babbled, blushing as she waded to the nearest edge of the bath and quickly shoving their previous bout of sex out of her mind, "I think it's time we get out before, um, we do, erm..." she trailed off as she tried to hoist herself up onto the floor of the bathroom; it was awkward and the tiles dug into her chin as she attempted to drag herself up, having difficulty due to the fact the tub was only a few feet shorter than her and she was missing a hand. 

After a few moments of awkward scrambling on the wet tiles Jane tensed when she felt clawed hands grab onto her hips and effortlessly hoisted her up onto the floor. Jane managed to stop herself from faceplanting and mumbled out an awkward _thank you_ to the hulking troll who just grinned at her before she shakily got to her feet, water running in rivulets down her naked frame.

As she unsteadily tottered over to the pile of fabric she'd left on the floor earlier she heard the telltale signs of water sloshing loudly and the sharp noise of claws striking the tiles, indicating Gamzee was pulling his massive bulk out of the bath as well. Ignoring it Jane took the last few steps to her heaped items, wincing slightly as her sensitive feet brushed across the grooves etched into the floor. However she was currently content; both at finally being able to wash herself clean of her own blood and because she now at least knew Gamzee still had feelings for her- or at least had favourable memories of her and he at least acknowledged she had genuine feelings for him. Even if that discussion had just resulted in a bout of impromptu sex.

She cleared her throat awkwardly as she shook some droplets of water off her injured arm. Glancing around Jane was about to ask Gamzee for a towel when suddenly one was dumped on her head without any warning. With a muffled grunt she tugged on the dense purple fabric, the towel being as large as a King size duvet and completely swamping her.

 _Is everything Gamzee owns decorated with purple?_ Jane thought as she awkwardly pulled the fabric off her head, giving a mock glare to Gamzee who just gave her a sharp-toothed grin in response before he ambled over to his discarded armour. Shaking off the thought she awkwardly dried herself off as quickly as she could, averting her eyes from Gamzee as she did so. It was an annoyance at how slow she was forced to go, hampered by her lack of a hand but after a few minutes she was reasonably dry. Rather than put the giant towel down she instead put it in her empty sylladex.

Waste not want not.

After that she frowned and knelt down, picking at the loose strap of her bra and the coils of ribbon as she wondered whether to put them back on or not. After some consideration she stored her bra next to the towel before slowly pulling Gamzee's shirt over her head, her wet hair sticking up. Wincing she ran a hand through the damp locks before glancing down at her left arm, staring at the severed stump with a morbid fascination for a long moment.

Like before she carefully began to wrap her injured arm up in the long purple ribbon, this time with the injured limb resting across her covered chest. It was just as awkward as before and she fumbled with the fabric several times before managing to create the make-shift sling around her forearm. She attempted to tie it around her neck and started to curse quietly as she fumbled with the end of the ribbon and it slipped out of her fingers. Before she could pick it back up, long yellow claws carefully grabbed the two tails of the fabric. Jane remained kneeling as Gamzee carefully looped one end of the ribbon across her chest, around her neck and down her back where he deftly tied it to the other end of the fabric which had been pulled down underneath her arm and up her side, creating a firm support.

The long claws then carefully stroked through her damp hair once before lifting away.

Jane coughed awkwardly, ears burning as she tugged at the hem of the overly large shirt, fingers twisting in the black fabric as she looked down at the sling for a few moments before peering up at him. He was so _tall._ Not that she didn't find it weirdly attractive, it's just she felt so tiny and vulnerable next to him. Then again she had never seen another troll the same height as he was; even the Condesce's brow would barely come up to his sternum though the seadweller apparently made up for her short statue with giant horns and a ridiculous amount of hair.

For a few seconds she mused on how the seadweller even managed to walk about without her wild hair snagging on everything before Jane eventually shook her head and eased herself upright. As she did the room suddenly spun as vertigo enveloped her senses and she tottered off to the side and would have fallen over if a pair of hands hadn't grabbed her by the shoulders, grounding her.

Sucking in deep breaths Jane leaned back against Gamzee's side, her face pressed against the Capricorn symbol printed on his armour that he had redressed himself in while she was occupied. The material was cool and smooth and Jane shivered slightly, feeling his sharp claws run through her hair again and she nudged her head up into his gentle caressing. 

"My apologies," Jane mumbled, "I'm still exhausted from my earlier plight and am yet to fully recover," _Also I doubt our earlier debauchery really helped,_ Jane finished privately, flushing as she pressed her face more firmly against his side. 

Gamzee gave a low hum of acknowledgement. The two stood there for a long while before the silence was interrupted by a low gurgling and both of them looked down at Jane's covered stomach.

"Oh erm...Do you perhaps have anything to eat?" she asked, fumbling slightly with the words and suddenly feeling ridiculously self-conscious, "I'm feeling a bit peckish, what with all the torture and blood loss and um, other activities. So is there something I can eat? Which is _not_ another sapient species since I know all too well your kind are very flexible in your carnivorous habits." 

Gamzee snorted, seemingly unconcerned with her subtle accusation. Next to him she felt so tiny and vulnerable, just wearing an oversize shirt with a crippled arm and aching feet. Then again, the fact he was a fourteen feet tall alien with teeth and claws as long as her index finger and a muscular structure that made it look like he could literally punch someone's head off made Jane guess he made everyone look small and weak in comparison. Even amongst trolls he was the largest she'd ever seen. She wondered if his supposed 'Ancestor' had been as large as he was. 

Another uncomfortable clench from her stomach cut her thoughts off and Jane scowled; she'd been ignoring her hunger for too long, even though she'd noticed after going Godtier they were all able to go without food for quite a bit longer than most people. But after that torture and bout of erratic, nightmare-stricken sleep she could really do with something to fill her growling stomach, if only to help her regain her strength more quickly.

She let out a startled squeak when Gamzee abruptly picked her up in his arms, easily carrying her out of the bathroom despite her token protestations. She grumbled slightly, gripping onto his broad arm with her whole hand as she was bridal carried out of the room and into the kitchen. The sudden switch from the thick warm steam to the cold air of the kitchen caused her to shiver, tugging the massive shirt further down her bare legs as she grimaced.

"Here we go!" Gamzee said cheerily and unceremoniously dumped her on the stool just before the kitchen counter. She let out a small squeak of shock and nearly fell off before she managed to grab onto the bench and righted herself, flustered. Gamzee didn't bother to watch her awkward flailing about and just trotted over to his fridge, easily pulling open the door which was even taller than Jane.

Jane shifted, crossing her ankles while toying with the hem of the shirt as she watched Gamzee rummage through his massive fridge. She peeked about the rest of the room, oddly disappointed that it was mostly spartan in appearance; the walls were devoid of decoration besides the scattering of troll skulls with the lit candles fixed to the horns. The floor was a dull grey and the cabinets next to the fridge were blocky and the same purple as Gamzee's symbol. Besides the fridge there was also a odd heavy-set machine Jane guessed as an oven and several bottles of faygo scattered across the counters. Other than that, the kitchen was largely bare and eerily clean.

 _Along with everything being massive,_ Jane thought privately. The stool she was sitting on was large enough that another human could have easily sat by her side without falling off and her feet were dangling far above the floor. Everything was oversize to match Gamzee's towering, fourteen foot frame and Jane felt so tiny and doll-like next to everything. Amongst her family she was the third tallest (John insisted he was the same height but Jane thought he was cheating just because his hair was messier than hers and thus stood upright) with Jade being the tallest at being easily over six feet and even the Witch would've been small by troll standards; Abutor, the smallest troll Jane had ever seen, was still taller than her. Jane wrinkled her nose as she toyed uneasily with a strand of her damp hair; at least the trolls sharp size difference between humans meant the humans were able to squeeze through places that trolls found it hard to pursue them through.

Shoving aside those thoughts she glanced over at Gamzee to find him inspecting what looked like a weird blue-skinned severed leg before he chucked it back into the fridge with an annoyed grunt. Jane really had to resist the urge to ask him where he got it from.

Rather than dwelling on the fact Gamzee had most likely eaten sentient species- and probably more than his fair share of humans -she instead leaned forward in her seat to peer down at the counter top in from of her.

The bench she was leaning against was a strange deep purple marble, polished so intensely she could see her reflection in the stone and Jane grimaced as she saw her face; it was a plethora of blue and yellow bruises, most of them centered along her cheek bones along with a golf-ball sized lump along her left temple. Jane guessed most of the injuries came from Abutor's repeated vicious slapping of her back in that room. She was lucky not to have any black eyes to hinder her sight and the cuts along her lips had largely healed on their own.

Before she could debate on whether or not to try healing herself she jumped when Gamzee suddenly dropped something in front of her on the bench. Confused, Jane looked down at the weird thing he'd placed in front of her before glancing up at Capricorn, an eyebrow raised. He shrugged, rolling his massive shoulders even as amusement sparkled in his eyes.

"I dunno what the fuck it is, but Gratia kept on sneakin' them into my block each time I tried to throw them out. Kept on going how it's 'good for the aggravation sponge and cleaning out the anguish bladder' or some shit so I figure since you've been spilling your grief everywhere it might be good. Doesn't look meaty, either, so you can get your munch on it alright."

Jane nodded, making a soft noise of acknowledgment in the back of her throat. Well, she didn't exactly expect him to have food for a normal human palette in his giant fridge so instead she poked the weird vegetable thing in front of her with her forefinger; it looked like a bulbous turnip the size of a basketball, with powder-blue skin streaked with yellow stripes and, when she leaned in closer, it had an aroma that reminded her of an orange.

 _Wonderful, so Gamzee is attempting to feed me some strange mutated turnip that smells like oranges and has tiger stripes. Happy day,_ Jane thought in morbid amusement, prodding the thing a few more times. It had a hard, dense skin like an actual turnip so Jane wasn't too sure how she was going to eat it, or if it had some kind of potent poison and she'd die within a bite. Admittedly being Godtier made them immune to sickness- since becoming one and the subsequent decade post Game none of the Godtiers had fallen ill, though other members of their family had. They could still get hangovers, but that was moreso due to dehydration rather than actual sickness and even then Jane recovered a lot faster than her fellow Godtiers.

But did that mean they could succumb to food poisoning? Well, out of everyone Jane guessed she was the best one to deal with any deadly alien turnip things since she'd be able to heal herself if it _did_ turn out deadly and toxic to human beings.

She grimaced as her stomach clenched angrily; regardless of the plant's potential deadliness she needed to eat _something_ and she felt that she would hurl regardless if she tried to eat anything meaty. Would just remind her too much of getting personally sliced up and the horrible ripping noise of her flesh as she tore her own hand off.

Swallowing down her nausea Jane awkwardly poked the turnip thing again before asking Gamzee, who was hovering closely by, "Do you have a knife I could use to cut this up? I don't exactly have long claws and teeth at my ever-ready disposal like your species does."

"What? Oh yeah, you've got lil' claws like a nibble vermin- ain't much help for hacking up shit," Gamzee snorted in amusement before picking up the turnip in a hand and starting to rip it into small chunks with his thick claws, "Kinda funny how you humans are all soft and tiny like weird coloured wigglers. Impressive as fuck you've clung onto the life rope for so long with the Empire trying to hand you your blood pushers."

"What we humans lack in brute strength and violence we more than make up for in cunning and ingenuity," Jane replied, sitting up straighter on the chair.

Gamzee laughed, a deep gruff guffaw punctuated with little snorting honks that made Jane smile before the troll dropped the torn up plant on the bench in front of her, saying, "I'll give you multi-hued star monkeys that- including using all those acid buckets and poisoned fuckin' elixir and that horrible smelly shit in cans on us."

"You mean perfume?" Jane asked.

"That horrible misty shit. Whatever it is, it smells disgusting like a mother fucker. Makes my thinkpan ache and sniff node get all scratchy."

Jane giggled as she picked up a torn piece of the alien turnip; she had received reports on humans weaponizing perfume. Due to the fact humanity were well aware that trolls senses, especially smell, was far more advanced than humans, humanity had begun using perfume either as a weapon via spraying it right in the face of an attacking troll or simply dousing an area in perfume to cover their tracks and to prevent a troll from pursing fleeing humans.

She already knew perfume was harmful to people with advance senses of smell; Jade was one of the reasons why none of her family used perfume or other cosmetics because it would send the Witch into sneezing fits and caused her to get migraines. It was just as brutal against trolls whose sense of smell rivaled Jade's. 

Jane meanwhile carefully sniffed the piece of turnip she was holding; it smelled like a fresh orange but had vibrant blue inner flesh. She wondered if there was more of them; Jade would love to study it. If she got out. Shoving away those dark thoughts she tentatively licked it; the flesh had the same soft mushiness to it like a watermelon. 

Suddenly ravenous Jane rammed more of the strange alien plant into her mouth, the light blue juices dripping down her hand. Oh well; food poisoning wasn't exactly how she wanted to die, but Jane figured she'd be able to vomit it up if the fruit proved harmful and heal any internal damage it would potentially cause.

Chewing it slowly Jane let out a muffled grunt while tucking her injured hand, still wrapped up in the makeshift sling, more firmly against her chest as she leaned forward. Across from her Gamzee was watching her with avid interest; she wasn't sure if he was interested in just watching her eat or making sure she wasn't about to start puking everywhere from alien fruit but she could feel the tips of her ears burning under his silent scrutiny.

Methodically she ate nearly half of the odd alien fruit, keeping a close eye on her Life pulse as she did so. Her stomach was complaining of overindulgence by the time she managed to eat two thirds of the weird fruit and she had to stop in case she caused herself to vomit from too much food and Jane wasn't quite ready for that. Besides, Gamzee's silent staring was making her feel more and more self conscious. She wasn't sure why, considering she'd spent nearly half an hour before frolicking in a bathtub with him stark naked.

The reminder made her choke, gagging as a piece of the turnip got clogged in her throat and she had to whack herself on the chest a few times with her free hand before managing to swallow down the errant fruit.

Gamzee watched her closely for a few moments before averting his gaze when it became apparent she was unharmed, drumming his claws along the counter and looking uncomfortable. She eyed him, wondering what had suddenly put him on edge and she couldn't help but quickly glance around the room, verifying that they were still alone.

Making a soft noise she licked the blue juice off her fingers, an odd metallic aftertaste sitting heavily on her tongue. She was silent until she came across another question, innocuous enough that she hoped it would get rid of the awkward silence that had fallen upon the two.

"So," Jane began awkwardly, "How have...Um, I don't," she stuttered and fell into an embarrassed silence when Gamzee glanced over at her, raising a scarred eyebrow. Swallowing thickly, Jane sucked in a deep breath and forced her anxiety down before saying, her voice now calm, "Can I ask if you have Godtier?"

It was a complete change in topic, but Jane wasn't in the mood to try discussing the invasion anymore; she'd just get angry and scream and causing a rift between herself and Gamzee wasn't a smart thing to do so she decided to start on a safe topic. Safe-ish, since he clearly hadn't gotten along with his so-called 'friends' after the Game. Thankfully Gamzee looked more curious than angry at her decided topic.

"Oh, you're meaning about our bug wings, huh? Nah, I never got mine, not really" Gamzee replied, tone thoughtful, "Aradia did, though. Guess 'cause she was still alive and not lusus-eyed like the rest of us motherfuckers who'd gotten our miracle wings yet died anyway."

"Aradia..." Jane frowned, struggling to remember who that was. She knew this 'Aradia' had been the Time player for the troll sessions and, like herself, she'd been a Maid. Jane's eyes narrowed as she raked her brain, trying to draw a memory of the troll.

"Yeah, don't you all remember? Think you got a good gander bulb at her before everything went to shit at the end of that tenacious mother fuckin' Game we played, though your thinkpan was all sore and bleeding crimson miracles when you came to so I dunno."

"Oh, yes!" Jane explained, bouncing up in her seat, her expression brightening, "Yes, I think I remember! It was when I woke up, after the whole 'evil tiara' predicament and after everyone killed the Condesce. I remember seeing a troll with these beautiful red wings and she had a uniform just like me but in crimson," Jane snapped her fingers a few times, struggling to remember, "I think she was...ah yes, she was the Aries, wasn't she? And the Maid of Time. Interesting, she was a mix of myself and Dave's classes and aspects."

"Uh, if you say so. But yeah, she was the only one who got to keep her pretty sparkly miracle wings, since she was still jumping up on life when everything went back and screwed. If you were a dead glassy-bulbed ghost walkin' then you didn't keep 'em."

"But wasn't there another Godtier? I think John mentioned her once; she was another Light player like Rose."

Gamzee's grin became sharp at that, "Yeah but she didn't keep her wings. Not even any of her powers, least not like how they used to be. Didn't seem to be of use for a motherfucker like her, but I helped her get her grasping fronds on her dream real fucking good even if she was all snotty and yelled herself blue about it. She didn't like help much."

"Helped her achieve her dream?"

"Wanting to be her Ancestor really fucking bad; least that shit was rolling about her thinkpan all the mother fuckin' time when we were wigglers. Obnoxious shit, since she would never shut the fuck up about it. But when I met up with her a sweep or so back I figured might as well lend her some real fucking help for old time sakes, you know? Helped her get her Ancestor on, since she was kinda both," he laughed.

Jane smiled, "Well I'm glad you helped one of your friends, even if your previous comments indicated they certainly don't deserve your good will. But no one else kept their Godtier? It seems rather...cruel, that you went through all that misery and death and got nothing. Well, apart from getting your lives restored but the Empire hasn't...really helped."

"Ha, pretty much; Empire ain't all nice and whimsy with everything so having all those miraculous powers would've helped a fucking lot."

"I admit, I have always been a bit bamboozled by the whole Godtier business, especially since that Game didn't see fit to give us an instruction manual so a lot of it was hit and miss and experimentation. I believe those sprites were supposed to help somehow, but considering mine just screamed and...exploded, I didn't learn much about the actual mechanics behind everything. Jade was far more successful and I believe her fusion with her sprite-self aided that knowledge."

"Oh yeah, your witchy barkbeast," Gamzee said, tone amused, "She all totally tried to fucking shoot me before."

"Well you are quite a sight on the battlefield so it makes sense she made the leap you were a threat," Jane smiled faintly, "But regardless, didn't any of you keep your Godtiers?"

"Nah. Only one of us left who had her sparkle dust wings at the end of it was Aradia, so she kept hers all snug and safe when we got back. Ain't like that for the rest of us. But we can still use our shit, if we know how," his smile turned sinister at the end and Jane ignored her vague sense of unease to ponder upon his words.

"I suppose that makes sense; even before we died on our Quest Beds we were able to use our powers- I was killed on Prospit but my Maid abilities brought me back to life. I guess Godtier just causes your abilities to jump? Though I hadn't be able to heal people like I am able to now, much less reattach....limbs..." she trailed off, brow furrowing.

"You can stick yourself together like a skin ripper, huh?" Gamzee asked, ears perking up.

Jane made a gagging noise, "Please, _please_ don't bring up the fact you trolls have been skinning and scalping humans for our skin and hair- that horrible fact is something I am very much aware of, thank you very much."

"Eh, you humans are just so soft and your pelts are all switch and match and mash, you know? Pretty shit to wrap our own selves up in."

"Gamzee _no_ , bad giant clown troll, very bad indeed."

He laughed, a husky chortle that made her smile despite the morbid turn of conversation, "But yeah, you slicking all Life miracles on yourself huh? That why you wanted your little loose hand back?"

"Well no, I had to learn how to reattach limbs. Which I found strange, since I couldn't do it at first."

"So you got your study on? That shit helped, even with me getting my fury on; gotta practice that shit otherwise where the fuck was I at?"

"I always wondered-" Jane suddenly cut herself off, expression blank before she let out a loud groan and slapped herself on the forehead with her whole hand, "Oh my good giddy aunt, of _course!_ I'm an absolute fool for not realizing it earlier!"

She grimaced as she pulled her hand away from her face, the slap causing aches to radiate through her face as she aggravated her bruises and swelling. Shifting in place, Jane scowled as she glanced over at Gamzee, who was watching her closely. She gave an annoyed grunt before explaining, "It makes so much sense in hindsight- I feel like an absolute fool for not noticing it earlier. The reason I'm so proficient and versatile with my powers is because I _practiced_ them so extensively."

Jane looked expectantly at Gamzee who just stared blankly at her. Jane groaned, elaborating, "Out of all my family I was the only one who entered a profession where I used my abilities every time I was at work; due to being a doctor I was always using my Life abilities, one way or another."

"Eh, you're a doctorturer? Didn't think you-"

"No!" Jane all but shouted at him, causing him to let out a surprised snort. She sighed, resting her elbows on the counter top and saying, "I am _not_ what that horrible little sadist is; I am a doctor. I do not torture people. In fact we take the Hippocratic oath which largely encompasses how we will help people, not abuse and mutilate them like that monster does. But as I said, while a _doctor_ -" here she stressed the word, fixing Gamzee with a stern look before continuing, "-I used my Life abilities extensively for years. I'm ashamed I never made the connection before. When I first became a doctor it was difficult for me to heal large cuts and injuries however as the months steadily passed it became easier and easier. I still remember the first time I regrew someone's limb back from nothing- well, a finger actually. But I scarcely even thought about it; I was holding the man's severed thumb and I was going to reattach it but then I just...regrew his thumb back; bone, tendons, nerves, skin and the nail. Just everything. I fainted and slept for four days afterwards, but as I tried it over and over it became easier, less strenuous."

Jane pushed back her damp fringe with her whole hand, lip curled, "It's so obvious why I got so proficient with my powers while John and Dirk and everyone else still struggle with them; I took on a career where I was almost constantly using my powers, whereas where is the career to tear peoples souls asunder? Or create hurricanes or massive bombs formed from pure will power? They had little things, such as Roxy creating our Christmas gifts and whatnot from the Void, but no one else focused so fully upon their powers like I did."

"Ugh, I am such a fool."

Gamzee just watched her passively as Jane rubbed at her temples, feeling foolish. However eventually she lowered her hand with a sigh, irritated and out of sorts before casting Gamzee a sympathetic glance, "I'm sorry, I am inclined to believe you are not particularly interested in my self aggravating rants."

He just waved a hand, the soft candle light reflecting off his sharp claws, "Nah, I don't mind it. Pretty interesting seeing how your thinkpan has stretched and twisted up like in your adult molt since I only knew of your lil' sweet self way back then, you know? And...seeing you getting your open up on me is nice."

Jane smiled back at him, feeling her anxiety ease in the face of his positive response to her; she had to remind herself that Gamzee had legitimately thought she was a figment of his imagination for years on end. Little wonder he enjoyed hearing about her life and how she'd grown in the ensuing decade since their separation. Of course, their reunion would prove moot if humanity wasn't able to fight back the hostile horde of aliens beating down their door.

Her smile dropped, jaw muscles tightening as her mind darted back and forth on how they were going to go about winning the war; she knew when it came down to it the Condesce had to die either way. Both to save the humans and also to save the trolls from their Empress' poison which was infecting the species as a whole. Not to mention that vile woman had too many karma points stacked up against her. She wouldn't be able to avoid it all together.

"Getting your angry on again, huh? Can taste it over here."

Gamzee's rough voice roused her out of her mire of violent thoughts and she looked over at him, abashed, "My apologies, I was just thinking about the Condesce. As you can imagine any thought of her makes me...get my angry on."

"Yeah, you get that weird little frowny scowl on your face and your rage get all bubbly and hissing. Condy inspires that kinda shit a lot."

"I bet she does," she retorted, not bothering to keep her voice calm.

Gamzee either didn't notice or care about her tone, "She gets pretty fuckin' intense with that shit. Always running about forking any motherfucker who looks at her sideways. Like I enjoy getting my murder on any blasphemer as any fucker of the Church does but she goes the whole new mucilage."

"Either way, this will be the last planet this evil woman _ever_ attempts to brutalize."

"So you're gonna take her out, huh?" he asked, voice mild.

"We killed the Condesce before," Jane replied tersely, "So I believe we shall be able to do so again especially since she no longer has her grand plethora of powers at her beck and call."

She was about to add they also succeeded in killing the so-called invincible demon Lord English but after Gamzee's previous revelation she didn't want to rub it in his face that they had murdered one of his pseudo-children, no matter how much the little bastard deserved it. He had loved the two Cherubs his own way, after all.

Gamzee looked thoughtful, tilting his head to the side as he drummed his fingers on the counter top, the sharp _clack clack clack_ of his claws echoing through the room. Jane kept her stare focused on him, chin titled up slightly and her lips pressed into a thin, unyielding line even as butterflies fluttered about in her gut.

Eventually he blinked, shutting his eyes for a long moment before shifting in place, giving her a bored look and a shrug, saying, "I suppose."

Jane scowled; it wasn't the response she was looking for but she was bit relieved that he didn't react overly negatively to the insinuation they would kill the Condesce. She knew he wasn't stupid. Easily distracted and more than a bit strange but he was by no means dense. Jane doubted anyone could get anywhere in the cut-throat troll hierarchy if they weren't cunning and manipulative to some extent, so she hoped he realized that she was right; out of everything in the entire universe they were most equipped to killing the Condesce, since they had done it before and now she was without her powers which she apparently exchanged for an armada. 

His earlier comments however, along with him dubbing the Empress with 'Condy', made her slightly concerned he was attached to the tyrian and, by extension, the Empire- and that was the last thing she wanted.

Especially since she needed to find a way to get him to help her escape.


	26. Snail mail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to draw some troll ladies lol-  
> http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/120908625633/so-here-is-my-attempt-to-draw-all-the-adult-lady

compassionateCephalopod [CC] has begun trolling titanomachiaTektite [TT]  
  
CC: Shello! 38)  
CC: You must be Dirk! 38D  
TT: I have a distinct feeling that is my name.  
TT: And you must be Feferi Peixes, the Descendant of the Condesce who's currently trying to eradicate humanity.  
TT: I must not be the only one getting déjà vu here.  
CC: 38(  
CC: )(-EY I am nofin like dat beach!  
CC: I know your exspeariences w tyrians like me has been pretty shitty but that doesn't mean you can cast us all in the same net.  
CC: I mean, shore your shoal has been getting decimated by the Empress but we're completely estranged from the Empire and on their ship lists just like you lot are.  
CC: If anyfin that means we've got a lot more in common w your pod than many other trolls regardless of the fact trolls are the ones trying to krill you due to their agiliation w the Condesce.  
TT: Can I just say you are doing one impressive job of convincing me.  
TT: Because I read over all that shit between Rose and Equius so we are all aware you lot have been mix-mashed with your dead other selves, those ghosts who were stuck in the Dreambubbles for a few billion years and went completely apeshit because of it.  
TT: And the dead counterpart to you was Meenah, the younger, alternative version of the Condesce.  
TT: Who also attempted to kill Roxy and numerous others even while a ghost.  
TT: So yeah, forgive me if I'm not particularly inclined to believe your crocodile tears and attempts to befriend me.  
CC: Okay surf off- I didn't orcahestrait the bass krillings in the Dreambubbles 3>8(  
CC: But that was decided! It had to happen so don't you carp at me aboat it since it's history and those who died as now alive and flopping anywave.  
CC: Like cod, it was sweeps ago and in a different universe and everyone was brought back, so no point snarling and whaling on ship that all sorted itshell out in the end.  
CC: And I was naut the one who wanted to leave Alternia!   
CC: I was ready to try and krill the Condesce at the first opperchtunaty!   
CC: But instead Crabcatch carped me outta it 38(   
CC: Because he was right! I needed to wait until we were shore I was able to fight her and fin!   
CC: We didn't just leave for the halibut; Otterwise I would've stayed and tried to krill her. But he insisted I wait until I pupated into an adult, so I could duel her on even tide.  
TT: My heart bleeds for you, truly.  
TT: I, a human, offer my utmost sympathy of the plight of you and your little band of miscreants. The fact you had to run and hide really puts humanities entire length of suffering in perspective and I can't even criticize your selfless choices.   
TT: I am humbled by your sacrifice.  
CC: Ya know, I'm getting the eeling you're just making a superfishoal lobstervation purely to mock me 3>8(  
TT: Figure that all out on your own, huh?  
CC: Ooo, you're being shrimply nasty. Me likey.  
CC: Especially conchsidering I will soon become the new Empress once we reach Earth and get in a punch up w the Condesce and take her throne 38D  
TT: While the confidence is heartening, I won't be holding my breath since you had about ten years to deal with that crazy bitch and instead decided to run about and cultivated your strength while who knows how many species got eradicated.   
TT: Tell me, if it wasn't for John giving Karkat a tongue lashing would you have even bothered to face your Ancestor?  
TT: Or is it just because of John's valid threat that you suddenly decided to face the fucking music?  
CC: Whale I dunno wtf kind of music your carping on aboat, but alright fin.  
CC: John's threat did force us to make our move but I've aboat haddock with your passive sniping. I ain't fucking stupid 3>8(  
CC: Because what Karcrab said was true; when I left and chose not to fight the Condesce meant I made it like 100 fucking times more harder to reach her 'cause now every troll in the Empire had the go to krill me.  
TT: Look, let me stop you right there.  
TT: I read over what your 'Karcrab' said and yeah, he's right.  
TT: It was a strategic thing you guys did; instead of running off to get in a blood-feud with your lunatic Ancestor while you were a gangly teen you decided to wait until you were an actual adult and therefore able to fight her on even footing and thus drastically increase your chance of success.  
TT: I understand that.  
TT: It doesn't mean I'm happy about it.  
TT: Especially humanity is the one bearing the brunt of the repercussions for your choice.  
CC: Whale yeah...  
CC: But still we're gonna set this right! Don't you worry.  
TT: Congratulations on your realization of great truth.  
TT: Look, I really don't have time and, quite frankly, I can't be bothered entertaining your theatrics.  
TT: So if there isn't anything else you wanted to 'carp' at me about...  
CC: 3>8(  
CC: No, I just wanted to sea how you were doing and how we are making our wave to your planet so I can kick my Ancestors ass.  
TT: Great.  
TT: Looking forward to it.  
CC: 38/  
CC: You don't sound that excited.  
TT: Forgive me if I'm not in a 'squeal excitedly' mood right now.  
CC: )(mm.  
CC: Whale don't you fret anemore! 'Cause I am gonna take that throne and all your ship will be back to normal!  
CC: You'll sea! 38D  
TT: Right.  
  
compassionateCephalopod [CC] has ceased trolling titanomachiaTektite [TT]

 

* * *

 

archedictyonTyphoon [AT] has begun trolling epigeneticsBarometer [EB]  
  
AT: }:)  
EB: what do you want?  
AT: 1 jUST wANTED tO sAY hELLO?  
AT: 1 kNOW yOU hUMANS dONT hAVE aNY rEASON tO l1KE oR tRUST uS bUT yOU kNOW kARKAT 1SN'T vERY gOOD w1TH 1NTRODUC1NG h1MSELF, cONS1DER1NG tHE mESS hE mADE tHE lAST fEW t1MES,  
AT: l1KE, rEAD1NG 1T oVER hE d1D a tERR1BLE jOB bUT aT lEAST yOU gUYS kNOW tHAT wE kNOW,  
EB: so you feel bad, great my mission is achieved  
AT: }:(  
AT: 1 dO fEEL bAD, bECAUSE 1 rEMEMBER yOU gUYS,   
AT: yOU wERE n1CE tO mE,,, eSPEC1ALLY yOU jOHN,   
EB: i was?  
AT: yEAH, l1KE wHEN wE wERE 1N tHE dREAMBUBBLES?   
AT: yOU wERE n1CE tO mE eVEN tHOUGH 1 wAS aN aSS tO yOU,,, sAME w1TH jADE eVEN thOUGH bOTH mY aTT1TUDE tOWARDS yOU mEANT yOU cOULD hAVE bEEN nASTY r1GHT bACK, aND 1T wOULD hAVE bEEN dESERVED,   
EB: what did you do to jade?  
EB: she thought you were okay   
AT: oH i k1NDA k1LLED hER gUARD1AN }:(   
AT: 1 d1DN'T rEAL1ZE hUMANS fUNCT1ONED d1FFERENTLY, }:(  
EB: oh right now i remember- you killed grandpa using bec   
EB: thats why you shouldn't kill people when you have no idea what the fuck is going on??  
EB: rather than assuming 'i bet murdering this person would help in some way' and do it without getting the whole picture? since you ruined most of my sisters childhood by killing the only other human in her life for about a decade.  
AT: 1 kNOW, 1T wAS sTUP1D oF mE,   
AT: bUT hE 1SN'T oNL1NE,,, sOLLUX sA1D tHAT hE wAS oNE oF tHE gT hANDLES bUT nE1THER oNE 1S aCT1VE,   
AT: hOWEVER wHEN 1T 1S 1'LL aPOLOG1ZE fOR k1LLING h1M,  
EB: oh um  
EB: that's good??  
EB: at least one of you guys are admitted you screwed up even if it was like a decade ago.  
EB: rather than blaming everyone else.  
AT: yEAH 1T'S sOMETH1NG yOU hAVE tO- tAKE rESPONS1B1L1TY fOR yOUR aCT1ONS aND m1STAKES, eSPEC1ALLY 1F tHOSE m1STAKES hURT pEOPLE,   
AT: sO tHAT'S wHY aLL tH1S sH1T w1TH tHE eMP1RE 1S eVEN wORSE,,, oUT oF eVERYONE yOU hUMANS dESERVE tH1S tHE lEAST s1NCE 1T'S oNLY bECAUSE oF yOU tHAT wE gOT oUR l1VES bACK,   
AT: oUT oF eVERYONE yOU gUYS dESERVED eVERYTH1NG bUT 1nSTEAD wE rU1NED eVERYTH1NG fOR yOU bECAUSE wE dEC1DED tO b1DE oUR t1ME aND yOU gUYS gOT pUN1SHED fOR 1T,   
EB: huh.   
EB: well at least you're admitting what you did was shit.   
EB: unlike karkat who kept on trying to protest what he was doing was totally the right fucking thing.   
EB: right for his fucking well being, sure. But not for anyone else.   
AT: 1T'S nOT hIS fAULT,,, nOT rEALLY,   
AT: tHOSE wE1RD cULT1STS kEEP lORD1NG h1M uP aND 1T gOES tO h1S tH1NKPAN,,, fEFER1 1SN'T rEALLY hELP1NG w1TH tHAT,   
AT: aND aLL tHAT pRESSURE k1NDA fORCES h1M 1NTO bEHAV1NG aS 1F hE'S 1nFALL1ABLE aND cAN'T mAKE a m1STAKE,   
AT: wH1CH m1GHT bE wHY hE wAS tRY1NG sO hARD tO fORCE yOU tO sEE hE wAS ,,r1GHT,,   
AT: 1T wASN'T r1GHT bUT hE'S uSED tO bE1NG sTUCK uP h1GH oN a pEDESTAL,  
EB: a cult?   
AT: yEAH tHEY'RE rEALLY fUCK1NG cREEPY,   
AT: bUT tHEY aCT aS 1F kARKAT 1S sOME wE1RD rE1NCARNATED gOD aND aRE pRETTY mUCH oBSESSED w1TH h1M,   
AT: tHEY eVEN gROUND dOWN tHE1R hORNS sO tHEY'LL lOOK lIKE h1M,   
AT: sO cREEPY,,,   
EB: that does sound kinda creepy :/   
EB: aren't your horns like sensory?   
AT: yEAH,   
AT: tHOSE cULT1STS aRE rEALLY h1VESH1T,   
AT: sO tHAT m1GHT bE wHY kARKAT wAS rEFUS1NG tO bACK dOWN,,, s1NCE hE hAS tO dEAL w1TH tHOSE cREEPY tROLLS aLL tHE t1ME,   
EB: i'm still pretty pissed with his blithe dismissal though.   
AT: 1 kNOW,   
AT: 1'M nOT tRY1NG tO mAKE yOU fORG1VE h1M, 1'M jUST tRY1NG tO hELP yOU uNDERSTAND,   
EB: hmm   
EB: well whatever, thanks for the info i guess.   
EB: i'm still kinda mad but that's a given. anyway, i have to do shit, so i'll talk to you later then.  
AT: oKAY,   
AT: mAYBE nEXT t1ME wE cAN tALK aBOUT oUR bREATH pOWERS };)  
EB: compare notes on windy things huh?   
AT: yEAH, nOT aNY oTHER bREATH gODS aROUND }:D   
EB: alright fine, i'll send you a message when I get back.   
AT: sURE, 1'LL sPEAK tO yOU tHEN,  
AT: tAKE cARE,,, jOHN,   
  
archedictyonTyphoon [AT] has ceased trolling epigeneticsBarometer [EB]

 

* * *

 

absoluteArapawa [AA] has begun trolling trienniumGain [TG]  
  
AA: hey dave!  
AA: hows dealing with a hostile alien invasion treating you?  
TG: oh you know cant complain  
TG: if anything it reminds me of the good old days  
TG: lots of blood dead bodies fire and screaming with grey skinned weirdos who dont understand what personal space is  
TG: then add a nice dash of sword fights family grief and maybe a shot of alcoholism in the mix  
TG: that last part i blame on the roxys  
TG: whatever their martinis are so fucking delicious how can a drink taste like that  
TG: but yeah stir all that shit up and you create a pretty fucking magical family fun day like mine is having  
TG: or months whatever kinda lost track at how long this two species punch up has been going on for  
AA: times flies when youre having fun eh :D  
AA: we would certainly know all about that!  
TG: are we gonna get into a conversation about time  
TG: cause i think im too tired and drunk to really get into the groove about clocks  
AA: yopparai  
AA: hmm sounds fun!  
AA: i certainly could do w some booze  
AA: i wonder if human alcohol could affect trolls?  
TG: well gonna some weird shit about souped up trolls getting shitfaced and then flipping down stairs  
TG: so they can get drunk as fuck but apparently human moonshine fucks them up different than how we get fucked up  
TG: but whatever shitfaced aliens are just as fucking dangerous as the sobers ones go figure  
AA: lol   
TG: so did you want something or were you just so hungry for some strider action you came right to me to discuss some tick tock  
AA: dunno maybe i wanted to get some gifting gab w my fellow time player?  
AA: have you found out time doesnt really exist yet?  
TG: oh shit  
TG: yeah i am way too sleepy and drunk for this kind of heavy shit  
TG: because talking about everyones constant state of being and the psychological dependence we have on our own personal interpretation of time is kinda too fucking intense right now  
TG: as fun and mindfuckery as it seems  
AA: boo!  
AA: tav wont let me get into that shit anymore :/  
AA: he says it gives him an extensional crisis lol  
TG: giving your bullwinkle self doubts about his own existence huh  
TG: but yeah noticed those breath fellows really dont like that kind shit gets their panties in a twist  
AA: thinking about your fellow players panties huh  
AA: didnt think you had it in you ;D  
TG: what  
AA: oh right your breath player wasnt the one w that akiraka ni suru outfit lmao  
TG: is this gonna get into one of those sexually suggestive trollings again  
AA: whatever, from what tavros told me you loved it  
TG: shit  
TG: bullboy spilled the beans to his sheep fairy and now she has come to pull a beatrix kiddo on my ass while im vulnrable  
AA: anata wa totemo kawaīdesu :D  
AA: but ah yes sweet tav he's not actually what youd call brutal  
AA: and that is why i am here!  
AA: well not really :/  
AA: just kinda popped in to see how shit was going  
TG: eh cant complain  
TG: well i can but im pretty burnt out and my family has been bitching everyone out enough for me  
TG: also im prob gonna pass out pretty soon since i feel half dead anyway  
AA: sono airashīdesu ;D  
AA: so i should let you go and sleep in your coon  
AA: or whatever the fuck you humans take a snooze in from what kanaya told me you kinda just sleep in weird square piles  
TG: hey dont knock it to you try it sweet cheeks  
AA: ooo sounds like a promise!  
AA: then maybe once all this massacring and butchering is over we can meet up and talk about existence  
TG: shit better get my beauty sleep then if i want to be wit ready to take on that kind of   
TG: before at the moment my brain feels like scrambled eggs and i doubt i can even remember the life of pi  
TG: much less get into a chit chat about our current state in the universe which ill probably black out through since my booze addled state couldnt handle that shit  
TG: but whatever ill take a rain check on that shit and we can melt our brains out over our sense of self worth  
TG: though not now cause im too drunk and fucked up  
AA: ehehe airashīdesu :)  
AA: so ill hold you to your word deibu!  
  
absoluteArapawa [AA] has ceased trolling trienniumGain [TG]

 

* * *

 

cantankerousGuanine [CG] has begun trolling gammaGrandma [GG]  
  
CG: UH.  
CG: HI. #ELDER WITCH. #TENTATIVE GREETINGS.  
CG: the fuck do you want?  
CG: W9W, HERE I AM TRYING T9 START A C9NVERSATI9N AND ALREADY Y9U ARE ATTACKING ME LIKE A FUCKING FERAL 6ARK6EAST. #NICE WELC9ME. #GR9UCH.  
GG: oh stow the indignation you pompous little shit  
GG: the only reason youre talking to me is because you are too timid and shitty to speak to either my younger self or to john since you so spectacularly made a dick out of yourself eariler  
GG: so take your lousy attempts at being cordial and shove them up your ass  
GG: or whatever the fuck you aliens have  
GG: because im not going to indulge your little tantrum so buck the fuck up  
CG: 9H.  
CG: SHIT.   
CG: I UH. I CAN RESPECT THAT.   
CG: UM.  
CG: #####  
  
cantankerousGuanine [CG] has ceased trolling gammaGrandma [GG]  
  
GG: fucking cowardly shit >:/

 

* * *

 

animaChimera [AC] has begun trolling theoreticalThermophile [TT]  
  
AC: (◞‸◟) Hello, Dancestor Rose.  
TT: Ah, you must be Nepeta Leijon.  
TT: Yes, I am an alternative version of Rose Lalonde and whom died in the Alpha session.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Many of us became well acquainted with death during our interaction with the Game as it demanded lives many times over.  
TT: True but at least it gave our lives back in the end.  
TT: Permissiveness can be helpful, and sometimes even comforting, yet at the moment it does no good to further wallow in misery least you give up entirely.  
AC: (◞‸◟) An extremely prompt reaction to my initial comment.  
TT: I do not intend to give offense; however I've noticed that nipping this behaviour in the bud is beneficial other it festers and is far harder to drag yourself from the dark thoughts.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Hm.  
TT: But I suppose you didn't contact me just so I could lecture you.  
AC: (◞‸◟) No. I moreso came to see if I could engage in brief conversation with one of you.  
AC: (◞‸◟) My moirail insisted I attempt to reach out to you humans again; I believe he is hoping that being able to converse with people who are different enough yet have gone through many trials akin to mine may help ease my own constant level of discomfort and anxiety.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Also I chose to speak with you because I know you had no encounters with me over five sweeps ago, therefore you have no one to compare me to along with no expectations to my behaviour.  
TT: I see.  
TT: Well. I can respect your reasoning.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Thank you.  
TT: So.  
AC: (◞‸◟)   
TT: ...  
AC: (◞‸◟)   
TT: ...  
AC: (◞‸◟)   
TT: ...  
AC: (◞‸◟)   
TT: Is there something you wish to ask me?  
AC: (◞‸◟) Yes, as long as it doesn't pain you to be asked of it.  
TT: ...I presume this is about Jane?  
AC: (◞‸◟) Your Maid of Life, yes.  
AC: (◞‸◟) I have wondered if you have made progress on recusing her.  
AC: (◞‸◟) And I do not intend to rub her captivity in her face; being imprisoned is something I am well familiar with.  
TT: Yes, I read over the log Rose had with Equius and how you were a prisoner for some time.  
TT: We have made some progress but I fear we will not reach her until permanent damage- physical or otherwise -is inflicted upon her.  
TT: And I don't  
TT: I don't know. I'm at a loss; we have all seen the horrendous acts those 'Subjugglators' inflict upon their prisoners.  
TT: Sometimes it is a kinder mercy to put them out of their misery.  
TT: Jane is strong- anyone who goes through that 'Game' is.  
TT: But still, those creatures know how to torment someone.  
AC: (◞‸◟) I have witnessed the Carnivals. Trying to liberate one always has the certainty of casualties upon our side. The clowns do no like people disturbing their territory and their fatalistic faith mean they die without hesitation to defend their turf.  
AC: (◞‸◟) However I suppose I was lucky that my enslavement was to the Overseer and I was not given the same treatment the captives of the clowns were.  
TT: Suffering is not a competition, Nepeta.  
TT: You have nothing to be grateful for in your abuse by those horrible people.  
AC: (◞‸◟) I...yes.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Equius has spent many perigees attempting to curb that way of my thinking.   
AC: (◞‸◟) It is difficult, however.  
TT: I am not lecturing you; just trying to make sure you are not trying to be grateful that you got a 'lesser' intensity of cruelty.  
TT: Everyone suffers at some point in their lives, one way or another. That doesn't mean you should feel as if you should be glad just because you didn't suffer as much as another person.  
AC: (◞‸◟) True.  
AC: (◞‸◟) But I doubt you wish for me to relate my suffering to your friend.  
AC: (◞‸◟) However she could have a potential ally with the Grand Highblood, since she had engaged in liaisons with him over five sweeps ago.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Though...  
TT: Though there is a risk he either doesn't remember her or doesn't care, yes.  
AC: (◞‸◟) He has certainly never hesitated in attacking us when we met him post Conscription.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Even nearly killed us on more than one occasion.  
TT: Well his reunion with Jane was apparently just as violent with the two attempting to maim each other.  
TT: However I must look upon the brighter side of this situation; otherwise I have to brood upon the horrible fact there is literally no way for us to rescue Jane in the near future.  
TT: The Subjugglator flagship is beyond our reach and while we've been able to keep an eye on it from our moon base we still cannot reach it.  
TT: The encryption upon the Empire's ports are still beyond our reach; the information we need is within the Observers data yet locating it is our biggest trouble.  
TT: So I fear my the time we reach her it may be too late.  
TT: But still I hope.  
AC: (◞‸◟) ...  
AC: (◞‸◟) I understand.  
AC: (◞‸◟) In many cases the last thing we have is hope; it is a double-edged sword however.  
TT: Many things are.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Regardless, I am sure you have more pressing issues at hand.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Thank you for speaking with me.  
TT: Of course.  
TT: Please feel free to converse with me at anytime, Nepeta.  
AC: (◞‸◟) Thank you, Rose.  
  
animaChimera [AC] has ceased trolling theoreticalThermophile [TT]

 

* * *

 

granulationAether [GA] has begun trolling galacticGaia [GG]  
  
GA: Hell♀  
GG: oh  
GG: uh hey kanaya  
GG: how are you doing?  
GA: I am alive  
GA: Which is apparently the achievement lately f♀r b♀th ♀f us  
GA: Th♀ugh technically I am a Rainb♀w Drinker which is n♀t quite dead and n♀t quite living  
GG: yeah well sorry if im not going to immediately pal with you over it :/  
GG: ive had a shitty last few hours and im not really in the mood to bond  
GA: I d♀ n♀t mean t♀ cause ♀ffense  
GA: I just assumed I c♀uld perhaps reach ♀ut t♀ y♀u first, since R♀se seems t♀ be ♀ccupied  
GG: >:(  
GG: shes asleep  
GG: which is something us humans kinda have to do  
GG: on account of the fucking aliens trying to punch down our door!  
GA: What  
GA: I'm n♀t trying t♀ cast judgement ♀n y♀u- the fact y♀ur species has endured the Empire's attenti♀n f♀r as l♀ng as y♀u have is admirable  
GG: oooo so i have your approval!  
GG: fan fucking tastic  
GA: Why are y♀u being s♀ h♀stile  
GG: oh come on kanaya  
GG: it was over ten years ago since we exchanged words but i know you arent a fucking dumbass  
GG: so why dont you figure out why im so grumpy???  
GA: Well I d♀n't kn♀w  
GA: Y♀u apparently managed t♀ have a perfectly civil c♀nversati♀n with Tavr♀s with♀ut any real issue  
GG: ugh  
GA: L♀♀k, I'm n♀t here t♀ start a fight  
GG: so instead you decided to pop in and fulfill your goodwill meter huh???  
GA: My what  
GG: the good deed for the day?  
GG: or the 'how about i go say hi to these humans and express my condolences theyre getting brutalized lol'  
GG: as if that magically helps  
GG: also i was still in the med bay when i talked to tavros :/  
GG: so i was semi loopy but whatever! hes nice  
GG: and before all that awful shit with jane finally sunk in which is half your fucking fault anyway  
GA: What  
GA: H♀w is what happened t♀ y♀ur friend Jane in any way my fault  
GG: oh please i read what tavros said and what rose told me about what happened on your shitty three year trip back in the game!  
GG: how you fucking idiots deliberately alienated gamzee and you tried to kill him everytime you saw him   
GG: then you went and started shit with him even after the game??   
GG: which lead to him joining the fucking empire in the first place and attacking janey which lead to all this horrible bullshit!  
GA: That is c♀mpletely unfair  
GA: Y♀u cann♀t blame me f♀r his behavi♀ur and his subsequent attack ♀n y♀ur friend  
GG: oh i am blaming you! you and stupidass karkat!  
GG: and like you give a flying shit about fairness!!  
GG: since you seemed fucking content to let everyone else deal with your mistakes while you fucked off and hid!!! >:(((((  
GA: We had n♀ ♀ther ch♀ice  
GG: cry me a river  
GA: Jade I d♀n't  
GA: I didn't c♀ntact y♀u just s♀ we w♀uld fight ♀ver issues res♀lved  
GA: And I d♀ sincerely wish we can s♀meh♀w make up f♀r the death ♀f y♀ur friend  
GG: fuck you!!!  
  
galacticGaia [GG] has blocked granulationAether [GA]

Jade snarled. She'd only been slowly decoding the Observer's twisted code for a few hours after being released from the med bay before getting pinged by one of the trolls but it certainly took a gut-punch to her mood. Now she wanted to storm outside and get in a vicious fistfight with the first troll she could come across. This crap had certainly reminded her why she hated them so much over a decade ago, when all they would do was troll her so they could jeer and insult her for months on end. Seemed it was the same thing was happening all over again; trolls invaded a place that didn't want them and people dying left right and centre with the aliens mocking them for it.

Only this time they didn't have the luxury of extra lives, especially now that Jane was a POW.

"Are you alright?" Dirk's voice cut through Jade's violently churning thoughts and she belatedly realized she was still snarling lowly. She blinked, trying to shake off her growing fury before giving him a tired smile.

"I'm fine...just stressed out is all," Jade replied, eyes dropping back down to her holographic computer screen.

She was sitting along one of the couches in the lounge, back propped against one of the arms with her legs stretched out in front of her, her feet resting on Dirk's lap. They had both been banished from the computer labs a few hours ago by the elder Rose though both of them had initially protested but eventually they were successfully shooed out of the labs. However they had just set up shop in one of the nearby lounges and had been spending the time sorting through mail and encryption before they had both received the telltale _ding!_ of someone contacting them. Jade knew it had been the trolls, since their family all had their own secure, isolated server to contact each other.

After her fusion as a sprite her instincts to seek out her family and just make sure they were alright so she had followed Dirk into the lounge and complained with him for a long while as they coded. Her more animalistic mindset was immensely agitated at one of her loved ones being missing and she felt twitchy and out of sorts. The fact they couldn't do anything wasn't helping either, despite the fact Roxy had managed to get home safe along with the trove of information from the Observer, which they were still trying to decode.

Roxy, who had been with them a few hours ago, was now asleep after having worked herself for nearly two days straight following Jane's capture before her Beta self was forced to slip a sedative into one of the Rogue's drinks. Dirk, fortunately, had approached the whole issue a lot more rationally, though Jade knew he had only been getting five hours of sleep a day lately. However he wasn't criticizing her for her erratic sleep habits so she wasn't about to start nagging him.

Rose probably would, if she could catch them.

Making an irritated noise Dirk suddenly snapped off computer. Jade could smell the spiking annoyance wafting off him and she shot him an inquiring glance, ears perked.

"Trolls," he said shortly.

"Trolls," she agreed, "Who did you get?"

"The Peixes."

Ah. That explained his irritation. Dealing with a tyrian would get anyone's hackles up; it was annoying enough for her just dealing with Kanaya, who at least remained fairly civil and even then Jade's raw state caused her to start berating the troll. Then again, the troll's attempts to comfort her over Jane just enraged further as it seemed incredibly rude for the alien to bring it up even though Jade's more logical mind pointed out she was most likely being genuine, even if the Rainbow Drinker's horrible assumption about Jane being dead hit too close to home. But Jade didn't care about being nice to trolls right now but her growing anger was beginning to crawl up her like insidious tendrils of blackened fury so she tried to head it off before she punched someone.

"Have you made any progress on that code shit?" she abruptly asked Dirk, trying to fight off her black mood and shoving Kanaya's cold assessment of Jane's fate out of her mind, "I tried to have a look at it before but I just got pissed off so I went back to sorting out those new greenhouse schematics."

"Not much. Each code is different- each file and each folder and it would take us ten life times to uncrack all this shit and even then most of it is just gossipy crap that doesn't help us," Dirk said, bitterness tainting his voice.

Jade was about to respond when the cloying coppery scent of blood suddenly assailed her nostrils; she sniffed the air as she craned her neck around, surprised and concerned when the source seemed to be Jake who had just entered the room.

He had obviously just teleported in from his mission in Istanbul, still clad in his combat clothes which were torn and burnt. Jade capchalogued her computer and jumped off the couch, immediately making a beeline for him. She sniffed, concerned at how he smelled singed as if he'd been electrocuted and when was close enough she immediately tugged down the collar of his shirt, where the burnt smell seemed strongest, she could see twisted fresh scar tissue creeping up along his jugular.

"What the fuck happened to you? You reek like an overcooked steak," she demanded, nose twitching as her hand hovered a few centimeters away from his injured skin. Mentally she made note that despite the smell of blood, all of his injuries were just underneath his skin like twisted bruises; she couldn't see any open wounds which would be where the fresh smell of blood should be coming from. Sniffing again, she tugged his collar down farther and trying to see if he had any further injuries which could be bleeding out.

"I'm quite fine, no need to fuss," Jake attempted to smile but cut off with a wince as she prodded at his neck, "Besides I can still walk and talk just as easy. It's this present that's confounded me."

"Present?" Jade asked, confused; Jake then offered up the oddly elaborate wrapped present he was holding, something Jade was too preoccupied with exploring Jake's injuries to notice at first.

Ignoring the gift, she sniffed at him again; Despite Jake's claims that he was fine Jade noted with some concern at the stiffness in his movements as he carefully put the present on the table before tentatively sitting down on one of the chairs, grimacing slightly. He immediately attempted to cover it up with a smile only to give out a strangled yelp when Dirk, who had gone and fetched a bowl of water and a clean cloth, suddenly pressed the now damp fabric against his injured neck.

Jade growled at him when he attempted to pull away from the Prince and he stopped squirming as Jade started scolding him, "How did you get so injured? And don't try to give me 'oh pish posh I totally am not' bullshit! You've been electrocuted and what the fuck is with that present? It's not anyone's birthday- at least I don't think it is," she gave an inquiring look to Dirk who just shook his head.

While the Prince busied himself with dabbing at Jake's injuries Jade carefully studied the present, investigating the Space around it; it was four-by-four cubic box with sparkly, bright purple wrapping and neatly tied up with an elegant foot-long blue ribbon. The ribbon, Jade noted with some concern, was the exact same shade of blue as Jane's eyes. Attached to the ribbon was a small note card. She sniffed again, leaning closer; she was certain this box was the source of the scent of fresh blood. Jake was burnt and bruised, he wouldn't smell like an open wound. But why would Jake have it? However before she could say anything about it Dirk beat her to the punch.

"Jake, where did you get that present?" Dirk asked, his tone calm and controlled as usual.

"It smells like blood," Jade finally admitted in a low voice, "And I mean fresh blood- not just all that burnt bruising like Jake is."

"Hm. So where did you get it?" Dirk repeated.

The Page looked a bit abashed, saying, "I received the gift when I came back from my sojourn into the battle fields, after I got into that foray with that lantern eyed troll lady who beat the ever frigging tar out of me- she was the one who zapped me right and proper in the side before I managed to boot her posterior into that mud pit. And lo and behold when I came back to base some gentleman said a troll left this neatly wrapped parcel for us!"

Dirk and Jade exchanged dubious looks as Jake continued, "Of course, they made sure to sniff out any potential dastardly traps but they assured me there wasn't a bomb in there but it was best if I brought to back to everyone in a brisk manner, especially since it was addressed specifically to us."

Dirk let out a snort before handing the damp towel to Jake who obediently pressed the wet fabric against his neck. The Prince reached out and picked up the small envelope attached to the parcel. Without preamble he tore open the envelope and pulled out a rectangular card and frowned, studying the small card before handing it mutely over to Jade. She carefully looked it over; one side of the card was stamped with a large imprint of someones lips. Jade knew the shade of fuchsia would be identical to the Condesce's hue, which meant this package had gotten her approval to be sent to them.

Suddenly Jade wanted to set the box on fire and forget that it had ever appeared. Anything stamped with the Condesce's vile approval would no doubt be something that would give her nightmares. Scowling, she flipped the card over; the other side was inscribed with rows of small, elegant purple writing-

  
Hello my darlings!  
I do hope you're having as much fun wi+h +his li++le species liaisons as we are! I know I haven'+ fel+ +his exci+ed abou+ popping in for a visi+ on aliens in a long +ime! Bu+ enough friendly chi+cha+ my dears, I am sure you have much more impor+ant ma++ers +o a++end +o~  
Speaking of impor+an+ ma++ers, I know much value you adorable li++le mammals pu+ in+o your 'families' so I fel+ i+ was pruden+ +o re+urn +his i+em in a promp+ manner +o help soo+h your worries over your missing quadran+ ma+e~   
Or wha+ever she was, I'm s+ill quite unsure how you li++le darlings conduc+ your affairs be+ween your ha+chma+es~  
So please accep+ +his gif+! I +ook grea+ care in sending i+ +o you as quickly as I could and I hope you apprecia+e +he fes+ive package I chose~ I know you li++le swee+ies seem +o be a bi+ s+rapped for mir+h la+ely~   
Wi+hout fur+her delay please enjoy my gif+, approved by the wonderfully beau+iful Condesce herself so you know i+'s good~   
:o)  
Sincerely, your friendly hives+em Doc+or+ure Abu+or Vulnus~

"Anyone who lays on the faux sweetness that thick is clearly up to something," Dirk said, lips pressed into a thin line.

Jade growled low in her throat before flicking the card at Jake. She watched him read the note, looking confused when he finished, brow furrowed.

"I don't understand. Who-"

"He's a troll," Dirk cut Jake off, "We've found quite a few files in Compes treasure trove about him; he's essentially the Empire's head torture expert and an upstart clown therapist. Dealt with Gamzee quite extensively, if his logs are anything to go by," he said, voice strained.

"Oh, so he's companions with Jane's wayward paramour? Perhaps he sent us some clues?" Jade felt something die inside her at Jake's tone; it was a horrible mix of distraught hope tinged with hysteria as he continued, "Mayhaps we should get everyone together so we can open it?"

"No," Jade said, sharp and quick, "I don't think that 'Abutor' fucker sent us a house warming gift. But I do think we should look at it before everyone else; at least some of us will be able to deal with it before we show this...thing to everyone."

Dirk and Jake didn't protest, even when she reached forward and began to carefully unwrap the gift. They were all silent as she methodically pulled off the ribbon and unfurled the wrapping and Jade nearly wanted to scream at the tension growing in her gut along with an awful sense of foreboding and she wanted to smack the package away from her and hurl it into a dark closet somewhere.

Instead she forced her hands to remain steady as she carefully pulled off the lid of the box. Her ears flattered against her thick hair as the smell of blood grew stronger along with a familiar scent of earth, baking and icing. Jane's scent.

A small, panicked part of her mind noted the box was too small to contain a decapitated head, but it did nothing to ease her churning gut as she began to pull out the numerous padding of purple paper stuffed inside the box, a low whine of distress sounding from her throat as she carefully tugged out the paper and put it to the side. Breath shallow she pulled the box closer to her, looking down amongst the rest of the purple fabric upon which rested the source of the smell.

There, sitting amongst the purple, was Jane's severed left hand.


	27. Morayeels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this commission I got of Abutor- http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/122241392848/courtenayjane-commission-for-swimmingferret 
> 
> So adorable <3

Feferi spooned the last portion of the tuber paste into her mouth, nose wrinkled as she reluctantly swallowed down the soggy grey mush. Tuber paste, while being filling and packed with everything they need to keep going, tasted like cardboard and Feferi was quite frankly fed up with eating it night in and night out.

This had been something all of Karkat's movies had conveniently left out- being on the run wasn't at all thrilling and dramatic like those films had made it seem like. Instead it was filled with crippling paranoia, constant fear and anxiety while living in filthy conditions along with starving for days on end to avoid detection or having to rely on basic rations which tasted like crap.

Feferi made a disgusted face before she got to her feet and crossing the nutrition block. She tossed the dirty nutrition plateau into the dross coffer before exiting the room and inwardly hid her relief that she managed to have lunch- as tasteless as it was -without some kind of catastrophe happening. Those were rare nights and the revelation about the humans had left her jittery and nervous, along with a side shade of giddy; she had to resist the urge to do a little jig on the spot. It was a nice change from the overlaying smog of paranoid due to being constantly hunted by the Empire.

Humming a wordless tune under her breath she easily navigated the corridors up to her and Karkat's shared quarters; at this time everything was quiet beside the low constant thrum of the ship's energy systems and Feferi slowed as she passed a wide expansion of glass along the left of the corridor, showing a broad swatch of stars and space. She frowned, peering at her transparent reflection within the glass and straightening a few of her way-ward braids. As usual her long hair was pulled up in hundreds of microbraids, each cinched at the end with a different coloured bead in all the colours of the hemospecutrum. Tied up like that her hair hung down to the back of her shins and her braided fringe was pulled back behind her long arching horns. She took a moment to admire her reflection within the glass; she had been so proud when her horns finally grew in after her adult molt and it was then that she finally decided upon her hair style. It took her and Karkat nearly a week to finish it the first time, mostly due to Karkat trying to get used to his new robotic hand after Equius remade it to fit the Knight's adult frame. She certainly didn't appreciate the numerous times her hair got caught in the metal and joints, but the braiding helped Karkat relearn how to be delicate with his artificial hand.

But regardless she liked her hair more than her Ancestor's; true, the Condesce may have far more of it but it was wild and free and must be a real pain to wash. Feferi had some semblance of _control._

With one final glance she turned on her heel and continued down the corridor before using the lift, having to smack the button several times before it finally lit up. Yet _another_ problem with being on the run; managing to buy quality goods- including a ship -was a very rare thing indeed. Despite all the constant maintenance the crew lavished on the vessel the old ship was still breaking down and had numerous glitches. Of course, that still didn't take into account of the damage that occurred whenever the Empire managed to track them down and attacked. 

No matter, they had always managed to give them the slip even at the cost of a few scars and Feferi wasn't the only one eagerly anticipating her finally killing the damn Condesce just so she could finally relax. Or as much as they were able since Feferi wasn't naive to think every problem would instantly be solved with her Ancestor's death.

Trying to shove the increasingly morbid tide of thoughts from her thinkpan Feferi stepped out of the lift as it opened on her floor, the doors sliding shut behind her and narrowly missing a few of her braids. Whatever, she had more than enough hair to spare. She walked over to the heavily reinforced doors before her and tapped in the pass-code before pressing her palm against the glowing panel. The panel flared slightly as it read her handprint and she felt the tell-tale sting on her hand as it drew her blood. Then a cheery _ding!_ sounded and the door whooshed open in a flurry of gears and screeching metal. She pulled her hand away and walked inside, absentmindedly rubbing at the small puncture wound on her palm which was already scabbing over.

Their shared room was littered with various objects from stuffed cuttlefish, numerous spare weaponry such Feferi's forks and tridents and Karkat's sickles and scythes, large maps detailing hundreds of star systems and colour coded for Empire excursions and influence, reports were scattered across the numerous desks and there was even a large pile of stock and recruitment paperwork stacked up on one table to the point it could hardly be recognizable. Another steel door on the far wall lead to their recuperacoons and the respiteblock.

Confused Feferi glanced about, trying to spot where her moirail was; she knew he was in their shared quarters since she trolled him earlier before she got lunch. She sniffed and stepped over a gutted plushie before spotting a familiar nubby horn sticking out of their large feeling jams pile spilling forth from one of the corners of the room.

Her face splitting into a wide smile Feferi nimbly sprung forth, landing with a thump next to the pile and poking at the exposed horn; an irritated growl was the only response and caused her to frown, looking over at him; he was tucked up in their shared pile, half buried amongst the plethora of snuggle planes, stuffed cuttlefish and crimson silk. He was still wearing his red-tinted black armour but despite that chitinous protection from the parts of him she could see Karkat looked wan and vulnerable.

"Aww Crabcatch, are you still beatin' yourshell up over the reports we got earlier? We both knew that ship was high risk," Feferi soothed, assuming his mood was due to the mission reports they got earlier; though the crew had succeeded at destroying the Empire's mining operation on a remote planet the entire group on the mission had died in the resulting explosion. Feferi was long used to this by now but Karkat's blood pusher was too big and he felt each hurt and loss no matter how many times it happened.

She reached out and pulled off a thick tyrian hued scarf which half-hid his face while letting out a low soothing coo. He didn't react besides grimacing and Feferi felt her protein chute close up slightly from pity. Her moirail was so fragile. 

Determined to try and comfort him Feferi straighten up, bee-lining for one of the nearest tables. It took a few moments of clawing through the numerous slips of paper and electronic devices until she found the small hand-held tablet she was looking for. Holding it up she turned back to her moirail with a triumphant smile, pierced fins flaring as wide as her grin.

"Sea this? It's aboat all the humans!" she looked down at the screen, switching the device on and scrolling through the uploaded conversations her friends had had with the humans in the previous hours. Doing a happy dance on the spot she showed the screen to Karkat who carried on acting as if he was asleep. Used to such theatrics from him she began to gush, voice bright and upbeat.

"The _humans,_ Karcrab! They're alive and swimmin'! I mean cod, we've been glubbin' to each otter aboat herring this potential shit for _ages_ and now it's happened! I've only spoke ta one of 'em, that Dirk one, but that was some entertaining ship lemme tell ya. I mean, I've been readin' over the other glubbin' tween our shoals and it's pretty fucking obvious they've got some pretty big fishues with us and I can totally carppreciate that lil' snapping from 'em 'cause it's nice ta know their spirits aren't at low tides. Ready to give us a fucking what-fore though they're swimming amidst all that insmanatee with the Empire-"

"They hate me," Karkat's low mutter stopped Feferi's excited words mid sentence. She looked up from the tablet and over at her moirail; from this angle all she could see was the glints of his scarlet eyes. Feferi frowned.

"They don't hake you, Crabcatch! They're just upset and unfortunately we're kinda right in their fishin' nets at this point," Feferi soothed, tossing aside the tablet and carefully approaching her upset moirail, "I know you're eeling a bit gillty because of what they said but try not to take it pershoanally."

Karkat didn't respond to her words, causing the seadweller to bite her lower lip. After a bit of thought she gracefully slid down in the pile and curled on her side next to him, tucking her legs up behind Karkat's, chest pressed against his back and her arms pulling the smaller troll up against her. Carefully resting her chin amidst his unruly hair, his nubby horns bracketing her jaw, Feferi continued in low tones, "Don't worry, soon we'll get the opperchtunaty to shoal how much we reely wanna kelp- soon as I fork Condy and get the trolls offa Earth I betta the humans would be wave more approachable."

"They're right though," Karkat grumbled, voice so bitter Feferi couldn't help but wince, "All that shit they said- we fucking waited and how many other shithole alien planets did the Empire fuck up while we sat around like a bunch of thinkpan fired wigglers with our thumbs up our nooks for nearly five sweeps?"

"That ain't our fault, we couldn't just swim up to Condy an' deck her, despite how fuckin' gilliarious it would be, 'cause otterwise we would've all got krilled and then we'd be fuckall help to anymoby."

Karkat just gave a noncommittal grunt and Feferi pressed herself closer to him, rubbing his sides with her hands. The tension in his body was wire-tight and Feferi was worried he'd snap before everything was over. An unsavoury part of her wanted to go scream at the humans for making him feel so awful, even if she knew it wouldn't help anyone. Karkat certainly wouldn't appreciate her anger especially since she told him off earlier for his handling of John.

"Whale look at it this wave- you remember when we rescued Nepeta, right?"

"Ugh, don't remind me of that fucked up shit-"

"Nah nah, I totally have a point, shellax," Feferi quickly interrupted, nuzzling at his hair until he stopped grumbling, "Like I was saying, it was shrimpudent we got Shoalux outta there first so we dealt with that shitfest 'fore we went and took on the slave paddocks. Like that shit was creepy, fucking half-dead trolls all over," she wrinkled her nose slight at the memories of that horrible, bare-steel place shifted to the forefront of her mind.

"But anywaves, like Aradia, Sollux and Terezi had that whole hullabeluga with the Overseer who fuckin' laid into 'em while me and Equius sprung Nep. Like, she was reel fucked. You kinda shore how she was when we brought her back but like she was a fuckin' feral almost when we reached her. All vicious and hissing and foaming at the mouth, all that ship."

Feferi still remembered Equius' face when they found Nepeta; the sheer look of devastation upon his features when he was reunited with his moirail had caused chills to roll down her spine. It was almost as bad as Nepeta's obvious hate and distrust for them, including her fighting them tooth and nail- literally -when they tried to free her. Eventually Feferi was forced to knock Nepeta unconscious just so they could bring the greenblood with them. It was also one of the few times Equius had been genuinely angry with her and Feferi had been certain the blueblood would've attacked her right then and there if it wasn't for the fact the slavers were nearly on them and they needed to get Nepeta out.

As it was, Equius was still standoffish and cold towards the majority of them. She couldn't blame him for his attitude, especially since Nepeta had been permanently changed by what those slavers had done to her and everyone knew she'd never be the same. Pushing that back, Feferi continued, "Like she was all freaked out and she was _scared_ which is why she attacked us when we found her in that slave pen. She had been tormented by those fuckers for ages and she was in so much pain; she didn't mean it malfishiously or anyfin like that. She was just scared. That's how the humans eel at the moment, Karcrab. They're afraid and we're just the ones who're in their harpoon range. They don't hake us anenmore than Nep did. They're just afraid, both for themshells and for their whole wave of life."

Karkat didn't respond and Feferi hugged him closer to her, inhaling his familiar scent of blood, charcoal and fire, letting it sooth her anxiety. She had been moirails long enough to know that a single prep talk wasn't enough to drag him from his intensive self loathing sessions, it was something she needed to chip away it in the next few hours or even perigrees depending on how bad it was.

"And they're just like how Equius was after we got Nep back; all vicious and snarly 'cause he knew we were kinda at fault but not reely, you know? None of 'em mean it pershoally and like even that Dirk fella I glub'd with even told me he knew we ain't the cause of this ship it's just they're wounded and hurt and we're kinda there and had connection to the bad ship in the first place, you know?" Feferi continued softly, feeling equal parts annoyed and sympathetic; both for her moirail and the humans.

For Karkat because she knew he took every slight, every insult towards his leadership too deeply, especially now he was orchestrating an entire rebellion albeit with help. Though he and Feferi were 'equals' Feferi knew the fanatic cultists and desperate lowbloods regarded Karkat as their true leader, not another fuchsia despite Karkat's constant vouching for her. Every order Karkat gave, every green light for an operation or assault on the Empire would inadvertently have causalities. Feferi wasn't sure if it was because of Karkat's mutation or his Blood powers that made him so... _empathetic_ towards pain but she knew he took every loss as if he knew those trolls personally and she had held him while he cried so many times she lost count. He was so vulnerable and sometimes Feferi was convinced she would die from the sheer amount of pity she felt for him.

But despite his compassion and previous bouts of melancholy from the losses in the Empire she knew the accusations from the humans had opened a deep, old wound. During the start of their moirallegiance they had broached the issue of the humans; Feferi had been vaguely conflicted with the issue. While she had never really connected with the humans- due to dying on the Meteor so quickly then Meenah's utter disregard for them -she still wished them luck on wherever they had been spirited away to. Karkat knew them far more intimately than she ever did and from long feeling jams she also knew he had enough memories from all his Doomed selves, which the theorized he knew his memories so well due to the combination of being a Seer and a Blood player, that he had gotten extremely close with the humans in the timelines, not just the catastrophe their Alpha one turned into. 

Feferi had even admitted to Karkat she greatly regretted never seeing the souped up Condesce in action- from Karkat's accounts the Empress had been terrifying in combat with her plethora of powers. Feferi was grateful the Condesce did not keep her powers- or even her memories -of her time in the Game, but Karkat got all those memories in overwhelming clarity at times.

Thus Karkat knew the humans more and valued his friendship with the two on the Meteor and even still had lingering affection for the two dark haired humans which Feferi could relate to- she liked Jade, from what she could vaguely remember. But because of Karkat's affection she knew John's vicious accusations had cut him deep, ripping open the wound of all of Karkat's doubts and self loathing which she knew still lurked within the small troll. She had enough jams with to know how much he blamed himself for everything falling part- the humans being separated from them, Gamzee's berserking violent break, the horrid mess their final reunion had been and now here was John saying Karkat was responsible for all the horrors the Empire was currently inflicting upon humanity.

She even knew he blamed himself for the humans death, since he was utterly convinced they were dead before John's out-of-the-blue contact. Feferi had been as shocked as Karkat was at the revelation the humans were alive; she had always hoped but she assumed they were in another reality or something rather than assume they just vanished from existence. She had not, however, ever dreamed the _Empire_ would find them first.

It really didn't help John had thrown back all of Karkat's doubts back in his face in their reunion however; the mutant had expressed his grief over the thousands, even millions, of lives lost in the ensuing five sweeps after Feferi spurned her Ancestor, fleeing instead of meeting for the duel. It was the right decision but it still didn't erase all the lost lives said decision had cost. Something which the humans were very much aware of and more than willing to drag up.

Feferi could feel Karkat shaking faintly and she moved one hand from his armoured shoulder until she was stroking his face, keeping him tucked up against her like a lusus protecting its wiggler. He was small enough she could easily fit him under her chin and Feferi wanted to keep him safe and secure in the pile with her forever. Karkat wouldn't let her but Feferi could dream, but dreaming was for later so pushing that aside she gently papped Karkat's face and finishing up with, "Anywaves, they ain't just hatin' on you for no reason; they're just freaked out and they don't reely blame ya. Cross my collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vascular system."

Karkat was silent for a while and Feferi nuzzled the back of his head as she cuddled him closer. Then she heard him speak, voice irritated, "Why don't you just say 'blood pusher' instead of that overly convoluted seadweller hoofbeastshit?"

Feferi playfully elbowed him in the back, "Fuck you, I was tryin' to be _roemantic_."

He let out a breathy laugh, broken and weak but a laugh all the same and Feferi hid a smile in his hair.

It was a start.


	28. Lapdog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Here are Hestia, Koiboi, Barkus and Zhanna :) ](http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/126643959388/okay-here-are-the-sketches-for-hestia-koiboi)
> 
>  
> 
> [Hestia and Koiboi in colour](http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/128247990323/here-are-the-coloured-versions-of-hestia-jewels)  
>  
> 
> Also I'm terrible and useless for not updating sooner since I try to do it monthly and I missed out by a few hours :/ I got a preoccupied with my other Gamjane prompt, but I won't fuck up again (hopefully)

Zhanna Cuffes hadn't given too much thought to the Empire's latest invasion since due to being second in command to the Overseer of the Empire's vast slaving operations, another invasion meant more work, more wrangling of the natives and a ridiculous of paperwork to get through what his moirail called the 'Blueblood bureaucracy'.

While there was the typical excitement of acquiring new slaves, that did get old after a few hundred sweeps of the same thing happening over and over; the Empress locating a fellow sentient species, typically greeting them in a cordial manner before commencing with the eradication of said species. 

However this latest species homo sapiens or 'humans' as they were commonly called, were profoundly interesting.

It wasn't just that the human ruler, a young female by the name of 'Jane Crocker', hung up on the Condesce. Barkus, Zhanna's moirail, had been repairing one of the psionics in the communication hub while the Condesce spoke to the human. By his accounts the alien interrupted Condesce rudely to call her out upon her tactics and told the Empress to shut up before hanging up on her. The story spread through the Empire like dragon fire and Zhanna felt as if he was back during his gossipy wigglerhood days in FLARP as in some cases the tale mutated into wild accounts of the alien cursing the Condesce's linage and throwing a brick at the screen.

Either way, the first impression of these odd little aliens was quite interesting, especially considering the humans had so quickly caught onto the Empress's true intentions so quickly; the vast majority of species the Empire encountered fell for the Condesce's hospitality act until she struck and killed/enslaved them all.

Still, the Empress wasn't going to let something like random aliens disapproval interrupt her murderous agenda, so scant seconds after being so rudely dismissed she gave the go ahead to commence the invasion.

Zhanna, due to his occupation, was within the slaver flagship alongside his Ancestor and was one of the first Alternian ships to land on this new planet.

Interestingly enough it seemed as if the majority of the humans had already fled to shelter, fleeing to a massive network of underground cities and bunkers that stretched across their continents. Well prepared indeed, even if it sat ill at ease within Zhanna's gut; this level of organization implied a level of awareness toward hostile alien invaders and Zhanna was a mixture of annoyance and approval at how on the ball the humans were as a species.

Still, it didn't take long for the subjugglators to set up their carnivals and for the rippers and skinners to get to work. Needless to say the clowns were pleased beyond reason at discovering the humans bled the heretic crimson. Zhanna didn't particularly like the shade of red the humans bled; it looked diseased to him and made him nauseous if he looked at it for too long.

The humans were a strange little species- apparently their genus made up for a lack of hemospectrum by having a wild variety of skin and hair colour, unlike trolls whose skin and hair turned solid black once they reached adulthood. Humans however had skin that varied from a strange off white, to numerous shades of brown to deep black that rivaled a trolls. There were even humans who had flecked skin, dark browns marred with splotches of pink. After doing some investigating within human skin tones Zhanna learned these particularly humans were called 'vitiligo' and these vitiligos were in high demand as slaves due to their fascinating coats. Same with the icy skinned, pink-eyed albinos; Zhanna spend a large amount of time personally hunting down these rare specimens to take back to the slaver pens in preparation to be auctioned off, usually to seadweller admirals.

Regardless all humans could be sold for various amounts and there was a broad range of usage for human skin and hair. Humans, Zhanna soon found out, had oddly fuzzy skin; the only parts of them that wasn't covered in fine fur was their palms and soles of their feet which meant it was easy for skinners to acquire a small fortune skinning humans even the more plain skinned ones, due to how soft their flesh was.

Even the humans hair was far softer than a trolls, along within coming in numerous shades. The yellow and orange were especially in high demand and Zhanna was surprised to know a humans hair typically turned white as a sign of old age. Zhanna knew the oldest troll in the Empire was a Priestormentor, who was a rarely seen troll, living within the massive Subjugglator space station. Rumour had it the old indigo had been around to see three predecessors to the Condesce before she took the bloodstained throne to the Empire.

Zhanna had only met that troll once and from a distance when he was delivering slaves to the subjugglators in preparation for their chucklevoodoo trials for their initiatives. It had been when the new Grand Highblood was presiding over it and Zhanna had been so caught off guard by how huge and _young_ the High Subjugglator was that he almost missed the bowed, hunched figure lurking at the back of the docks. It was a far cry from the arrogant, easy pride the other Priestormentors radiated, even if Zhanna did find the deaf Priest rather friendly compared to their companions.

But that old, ancient clown was the only troll Zhanna had seen with numerous, silvery lines of grey running through his black hair like strands of starlight. The only sign of old age Zhanna had ever seen on a troll. Even the Condesce, ancient that she was, only had deep lines carved within her face to showcase how old she was. Then again it was rumoured that unless they were killed outright tyrians did not succumb to age. Zhanna didn't know; all tyrians had died at the hands of their Heiresses before that could be put to the test, even if the Condesce held the throne for the longest term ever known. But even so, that old subjugglator fascinated Zhanna as soon as he realized who that clown was, old enough his hair was shifting colour. Zhanna had wanted to speak to him but the Overseer's lessons were too ingrained and Zhanna stayed at the Grand Highblood's side to finalize the cargo exchange.

Regardless that was the only instant Zhanna knew of old age physically marking a troll; the humans meanwhile turned oddly shrunken, their hair shifting to a silvery thin white while their minds caved in on themselves. Rippers had made a killing lately creating clothing from human hair- Zhanna knew one of the other slavers even had a scarf woven out of the white strands, a gift given to her by her seadweller matesprit. Zhanna was allowed to touch it and it was very soft, to the point he was even thinking of commissioning a rug as a present for his own moirail.

_At least those old humans are a lot easier to corral than the young ones,_ Zhanna thought crankily, pushing his single long braid back over his shoulder, _The wigglers of humans are so frustrating to catch and it's so easy to injure them; humans are so fragile, it's a wonder they've lived this long on their planet,_ even as he thought that Zhanna frowned; no, that wasn't right. Humans were not fragile, at least their rulers weren't. Zhanna had to admit his vicious alteration with the human Empress had been the highlight of their stay here for him, considering the female proved herself to be ridiculously strong and durable.

It also made Zhanna far more conscious of how _dangerous_ humans were, something that was proven he was justifiably cautious over when those upstart little mammals snuck onto the subjugglator _flagship_ of all places and managed to kill the Observer right under the Bloodied Authorities sniff nodes.

Dangerous indeed.

* * *

_Three weeks ago._

* * *

"Her will is thy own, so travel yonder below and fetch those hornless plebeians to fix'd to the requests. Thoust are Worthiest, so make it so known and been safed and unfretted," The Overseer said, tone cold and calm as he stood ramrod straight before Zhanna, fixing him with a stern stare as he finished curtly, "and thus now be avaunt."

"Understood," Zhanna replied calmly, but as always he inwardly cringing at his Ancestor's flat, unyielding monotone despite the strangeness of his verses. Even after all these sweeps of being the Overseer's Second Zhanna was still frightened of him, of his utterly unchanging expression with his features looking as if they'd been carved from metal. In all the sweeps he'd known him, Zhanna had never seen his Ancestor smile or sigh or frown or even shout. It was if the blueblood was more akin to a robot than a troll.

Either way the Overseer had said what was needed and, as typical, fell silent so Zhanna took his que to leave, carefully walking from the room with the controlled movements his Ancestor had taught into him and never once loosing his posture as he moved; always uphold the definition and reputation of their caste, the Overseer always said.

He could never relax around his Ancestor; the Overseer was too... _ridged_ , too _intense_ and whenever Zhanna did try and relax around him- loosening his posture, or shorting his words, or even just putting his coffee cup on the table without a coaster -and his Ancestor would give him this _Look_ that made Zhanna utterly ashamed and self conscious beyond reason so he just stopped trying after a while.

Pursing his lips, Zhanna internally wished he'd been allowed to bring his moirail with him but he didn't bother asking his Ancestor since he knew the answer would be a flat 'No' even if his moirail wasn't busy installing new psionics into the ships as helmsmen to make up the ones which were lost. Besides, Zhanna was being forced to take his hunting trip with two subjugglators; why the clowns wanted to accompany him he was unsure but he knew better than to complain. But he was already dressed up in his black-and-blue work armour and had his catching pole in hand so he forced himself to leave planetside as quickly as possible. Clowns were notoriously capricious and Zhanna didn't feel inclined to take a club to the thinkpan just yet.

Even so he took a brief moment to inhale deeply as he stepped off the teleporter; the fresh air was always a welcome relief compared to the stagnant air on a space ship. It was one of the things he always enjoyed about invasions- the new atmospheres were a wonderful change and Zhanna peered around the location with interest, pleased that it was one of the human nights so his eyes easily adjusted. He knew from his 'debriefing' he was in one of the human cities where there had been sightings of humans, sneaking out of their underground burrows (which proved to be ridiculously difficult to get into) in order to loot the abandoned stores and hives above. Tricky, tricky.

It took him less than a minute to locate the designated rendezvous point, one of the odd human 'malls' near the centre of the city. Zhanna couldn't really understand how the humans tolerated living so close to each other and from his investigating into their species they _thrived_ on social contact with each other- even other humans they had no quadrant with. It was a bit baffling to Zhanna, for though he did get along with the other slavers- or at least tolerated them -he was uncomfortable spending large amounts of time with them. He only ever let his guard down around his diamond, Barkus. Not just this weird...mire of strangers the humans lived in. How they did it would killing each other constantly was beyond him. 

Checking the map within his gauntlet Zhanna rounded the corner to the street the mall was located on; To his surprise and grudging approval the two subjugglators were waiting for him outside, one sitting on the broken hoofbeast statue with her long legs crossed while the other was kneeling down on the pavement and inspecting some of the local flora with a sorrowful expression. Clowns.

Still, he knew his place so he quickly fixed a polite smile to his face, cleaning his throat loudly as he did so. Instantly two sets of indigo eyes were fixed on him but Zhanna forced himself to remain calm despite feeling as if he was being sized up. Regardless of their blood, Zhanna never felt at ease around clowns. They were too _strange_.

"Heya!" the first one suddenly said brightly, nimbly pirouetting off the statue and skittering forward a few steps with a broad grin plastered across her painted face. Her buck teeth were long and sharp, at odds with her short, fluffy hair. Her horns were two gracefully angled arches that reminded him of the flush symbol, and though she was wearing glasses it was obvious she was missing her left eye- instead a cerulean jewel gleamed from the scarred-up socket. Her weapon, like most subjugglators, was designed for blunt force trauma due to being a large silver morningstar littered in thick spikes.

Zhanna's forced smile stayed firmly in place as he tried to avoid looking down at her lean body; it seems she was showing more skin than cloth, with a shirt that didn't even reach her elbows, a pair of shorts that were ridiculously small along with purple garters and knee-high boots. That was another thing he didn't understand; why did so many of the subjugglators have to dress so indecently? It was scandalous and unnecessary. Zhanna could still remember the first time he met that quirky old Doctorturer clown who didn't even bother wearing a shirt so everyone could see his thick grub scars without issue and seemed to have zero concept of personal space which left Zhanna stammering and blushing for hours. 

This younger clown seemed to have the same issues, sidling right into Zhanna's personal space and running long claws along his sharply angled horns. He refused to rise to the bait, instead asking formally, "Are you two Hestia Jewels and Koiboi Liquor?"

"Yup, that's me alright- tho I'm Hestia, ol' plant sniffer over there is our dear sweet precious Koiboi. Oi, Koiboi! Get your ass over here and say hellooooo to our big blue," she gave Zhanna a mocking wink, purple painted lips quirking into a sly smile to which he just stared calmly at her. With a huff she pivoted in place and marched back over to the statue, swinging her massive mace around with practiced ease. Zhanna swallowed the rather rude words that were clamoring at the back of his throat to turn to the other clown who was cautiously approaching him.

He was...meek. That was really the only way Zhanna could describe his posture, with the clown staring at one of Zhanna's shoulder pads rather than look him in the eye while wringing his hands nervously. Zhanna dipped his head slightly, trying to keep his face blank of emotion. At least Koiboi was wearing proper attire unlike his companion; a heavy brown dress covered in haphazard patches of numerous shades with a thick fluffy collar of white lusus fur while his arm sleeves were a dull purple that matched the symbol on his front. His hair was pulled back into numerous neat dreadlocks which fell down pass his knees and his horns were thick and straight with two spikes on the left and three on the right. Oddly enough there were a few balls of yarn impaled on his horns and Zhanna guessed the clown was a ripper of some sort in his spare time.

Despite the subjugglator's shy demeanor Zhanna didn't let his guard down; as cautious as he was behaving he was still a clown and therefore extremely deadly and worth his utmost respect. However as the silence lingered, followed by a few frustrated groans from Hestia in the background Zhanna awkwardly said, "I am here to escort you?" 

Instantly he inwardly cringed at his phrasing- why don't he just outright accuse them of being incompetent? Despite the fact he knew these two weren't even twenty sweeps old yet, they still outranked him purely due to bloodcaste and thus deserved his obedience and deference even if a tiny part of him buried deep inside resented being subordinate to trolls not even a quarter of his age.

"Escort?" Koiboi said, his voice oddly airy and soft, "I...yes, I believe that is your role here. We are unsure of this planet and our Priestormentors wish to make sure we are under no certain duress despite our, erm, competence," he ended lamely.

"I would not be presumptive to assume I can best either of you," Zhanna hastened to reassure. Judging by the confusion on Koiboi's face he didn't exactly succeed and Hestia abandoned the statue staring to stalk over to the two.

"Can we start this shit already?" she demanded, "I've been itchin' to do something on this rock."

Koidboi turned his large watery eyes to his companion, "Start what?"

"I don't fucking know, sniffing out these humans! Lil' shits have been scuttling around here like squeakbeasts 'cause they're so fucking hard to dig outta their nest so we snap 'em up good. 'Course the blue boy here wants some slaves, tis why he's hitching a ride," she added, tilting her head towards Zhanna. 

Zhanna kept his features blank; it seemed this lot, at least the female, were going to be an issue but mainly because it seemed she didn't like him watching over more than anything. He was used to clowns being wild, reckless and fey but he knew that if either of the two died while he was with them he would be aptly punished. Not killed because his rank was too valuable but no doubt tortured to some extent perhaps sent off to Re-Education. He shivered in the night air, ears curling down.

"Well, why the absolute fuck are ya even here huh?" Hestia interrupted his thoughts, a snarl in her voice, and Zhanna blanched backwards as he realized the subjugglator had gotten tight up into his face while he was thinking to continue her complaining, "Don't need a motherfuckin' lusus on this damn trip, I don't give a fuck what Ananke said-"

"They're just concerned," Koiboi said, voice small, "We don't exactly have a lot of experience in alien invasions- this is our first one after all and they want us to be safe."

"Oh don't gimme that shit! Like fuck I'm gonna sit on my ass and-"

Zhanna watched awkwardly as the two began to bicker, knowing better than to get between too arguing clowns. The clowns had a weird, tight knit vibe to them none of the other caste had which Zhanna found more disturbing than anything. As it was he knew Hestia especially would probably get angrier if he tried to herd them like wigglers, so instead he ignored them and went up the steps into the human mall, ducking through the door to avoid banging his horns.

A few paces into the broken building and he looked back, pleased that the two clowns had ceased their bickering and followed him inside; Koiboi was also holding a pair of long needles in one hand as he carefully stepped across the broken glass. Turning back Zhanna sniffed, keen eyes searching through the mall. It was dark but his eyes were still sharp and focused and he could easily make out cracked elevators and large rusty stains on the white floor. Proof of human culling.

"So..." Zhanna looked over at Hestia, who raised her eyebrow at him, "What are we lookin' for, huh?"

"Humans," he said shortly before moving forward.

It was more of a recon mission than anything, something Zhanna felt was a waste of time but he knew one of the Priestormentors, Gratia Ananke, had specifically requested that he accompany the two young subjugglators and the Overseer would never decline a request from a member of the Bloodied Authority. He wasn't sure why the Priest was so protective, considering the Grand Highblood was the same age as Koiboi and Hestia but then again from the few times Zhanna had met the new High Subjugglator he never showed the same, inexperienced air these two exhibited. Not to mention he was the largest troll Zhanna had ever seen, which also helped.

As it was, sniffing around the human mall was largely uneventful; the cities had been full of humans at the beginning of the invasion but many successfully fled to their massive underground bunkers by the time the fleets arrived. Still, Zhanna found the odd corpse of a human slumped in a corner or in a store, proof of the less swift humans being successfully culled.

But there was also the weird monuments they found inside one of the smaller stores on the third floor. The room was small enough Koiboi kept on knocking his horns into the roof but all their attention was on the large rack of pendants; pendants that held the symbol of the Condesce. Zhanna also recognized the symbol for the Grand Highblood, one of the seadweller Admirals and even the heretic symbol for the Sufferer. He cautiously poked the rack with his catching pole, unease pooling within in his gut. Why did the humans have these? How did they have them? He knew there was a lot of rumours and confusion over the humans- not in the least they had _faygo_ for some reason which the clowns found amusing until the humans started poisoning it. But symbols held a deep personal attachment- they were a conclusion of who you were and what you belonged to and seeing such symbols so crassly displayed was...unsettling.

"This is so strange," Koiboi broke the prickly silence, gingerly taking one of the pendants off the rack. He ran a long claw along the symbol, the same curving form of the symbol of the Grand Highblood, "This is Gamzee's symbol- why do the humans have necklaces for it? How do they even know?"

"I heard tell from Ubarii that they found necklaces just like this when they went out," Hestia murmured, hand tightening on her mace, "But it's so much creepier seeing it for myself, like what the fuck _are_ these humans? Motherfucking weird, is what."

Zhanna was about to respond when he noticed a flicker of movement from the corner of his eye, down upon the street adjacent. Without pause he bounded over to the store window and straight through it in a shower of glass, ignoring the exclamations of surprise behind him. The clowns could look after themselves for ten minutes, surely.

Quickly he sucked in a snort of air, smelling a faintly warm, rustic scent; human. Silently he followed the smell, tracking it down the block until he came to a half-burnt schoolfeeding building. As he came to a stop he caught a pair of wide eyes watching from the charred door frame before the human let out a panicked squeak and vanished into the building.

_Found you._

Zhanna was in the building in a flash, catching the tail end of a ragged coat as the human darted around the end of the corridor. While he hadn't been on Earth long and knew humans were a small species he also knew that the one hiding within this building was a youngling- a human wiggler. Immediately he brightened; human young were in much higher demand as slaves due to their diminutive 'cute' nature. Quickly the blueblood moved through the dark hallway, sniffing a few more times. He could hear the soft patter of feet, hear the short panicked breath of the human as the small creature attempted to hide from him.

Thankfully humans weren't too bright and the scent consolidated within one of the schoolfeeding rooms, lined with dusty decks and cracked windows. Here he could make out a tiny huddled form in the back corner. Carefully Zhanna squeezed through the door, lip wrinkling as his horns scraped the frame and his armour gored the wood. However he was able to stand upright within the room, being over nine and a half feet tall.

Slowly he moved forward, raising his catching pole as he moved towards the tiny alien. Thinking quickly Zhanna shifted his voice, picking the most common human language he learned and saying softly, "Hello, little human. I'm not here to hurt you."

"Get away!"

Zhanna blinked, feeling his second set of eyelids twitch as the human scurried from one corner to the other, seemingly panicked and Zhanna had to resist the urge to coo out endearments. Humans were so _tiny_ , he really should catch a few for himself. However at the moment they were in too high demand from the Admirals and even the Condesce showed interest in owning one so he kept his voice calm as he spoke again, trying to keep his voice calm, "Don't be afraid."

"You're a demon!" the wiggler human shrieked, Zhanna being now close enough to make out its dirty features and too-bright eyes as the human tried to cringe away from him without success.

Zhanna inched forward a bit more, easily navigating around a few desks; nearly within arms reach, "No I'm not- I'm going to take care of you," he soothed, ignoring the hysterical, breathy sobs the human started to make. No matter, he'd train it out of that habit soon enough.

He was about to press the catching pole against the human's neck, ensnaring it now that he was close enough when the wall near the door suddenly exploded outwards in a shower of dust and wood and a human came crashing into the room. Zhanna barely had time to turn before a fist caught him in the jaw and sent him crashing back against the windows, shattering the glass. With a snarl he lashed out with a hand and the human hopped backwards, blue eyes blazing with fury.

With an annoyed grunt Zhanna got up, ignoring the glass tangled in his hair, and pounced towards the human; he'd had to deal with the adult first. Naturally when he threw a punch and when the human caught it in her own diminutive hand he expected the blow to shatter her entire arm; it'd happened before on a few of the aliens and even other trolls who tried to stop his blows. He was utterly caught off guard when she shoved back his fist without issue and decked him across the chest with her own, denting his thick blue and black armour.

Completely stupefied he stumbled backwards, knocking over a desk and nearly tripping over. Pressing her advantage the human seized said desk and threw it right in his face when it cracked in half. Snarling Zhanna smacked away the offending object and lashed out with his catching pole, the electrified tip zapping the human's leg and causing her to let out a shout of pain.

_Who was this human?_ he thought in bewilderment; he'd never had an alien, at least not one this small, be able to match him blow-for-blown in strength. Even when he managed to punch her square across the jaw all he managed to do was bloody her lip and crack her glasses. This human wasn't just strong- she was _blueblood_ strong. That came to a head when he seized her fists, dropping his catching pole and tried to ram her backwards. Instead the human just pressed right back against him, digging her heels into the dusty floor, her blooded blunt teeth bared in a snarl.

The height difference between them was nearly ridiculous, but Zhanna found nothing worth mocking in the sheer anger in the human's face, as if she had taken personal offense to him being in the vicinity of the wiggler. He twisted his head, managing to slice open the human's brow with the tip of his left horn. She hissed through her teeth but didn't let go of him, keeping him firmly in place as her strength matched his own. He snarled right back, deep and guttural as heat began to build up within his temple and he had to stop himself from opening his second set of eyes and turning the human into a flaming ball of meaty paste. She was too close and his Dragons Glare would injure him as well. Even as he snapped his jaws in frustration the wound along the human's brow flared a brief shade of blue and suddenly sealed up without a scratch.

He blinked, surprised, and the human took advantage of him being off guard to release his left hand and he staggered forward, even as the human slugged him hard across the head with her fist crashing into his horn. Zhanna let out a shout of surprise before hurling the human away from him with the hand he still had encased.

In the commotion the panicked human wiggler scuttled out of one of the windows, Zhanna being too preoccupied with the stubborn, enraged newcomer to notice and she immediately got back up and lunged at him again before he could take notice. Something nagged at him about the human, an odd certainly he should recognize her, but before he could think further she attempted to ram her fist into his nose despite their almost comical height difference. 

It was then the two subjugglators went crashing through the hole in the wall the human initially made just as a another human wearing dark sunglasses while armed with a long sword pounced nimbly through the shattered window and everything turned into a free-for-all, but not before he near the newcomer shout, _"Jane!"_

* * *

_Jane Crocker, the human ruler. Their Empress, so to speak. From the rumours Barkus had been telling me she even got in a fight with the Grand Highblood himself..._ Zhanna brooded on the issue for a while; he had been caught off guard that a human managed to fight the High Subjugglator on a one-on-one fight and survive though by all accounts she had been captured after killing the Observer, which Barkus complained about for hours on end since they needed to fit a new psionic in there now.

They were far craftier than he initially ever thought.

Well, mostly. Though he had fought the female ruler three weeks ago and she successfully evaded capture, along with the other adult human and the wiggler, she had by all accounts been successfully imprisoned when sneaking onto the Subjugglator Flagship a few days ago. Still, humans were something it was becoming more and more apparent the Empire had underestimated. No other species the trolls had encountered ever successfully killed such an important psionic, especially since the Observer's death meant there was a temporary blackout through many reconnaissance systems and spyware the Empire was using to motioning threats. Regardless, at least the clowns had captured the human empress and Zhanna knew how merciless and cruel the purpleblood caste could be when provoked and humanity had done a good job of doing just that.

Humans, humans, humans. Height, weight, width. Age, language, intelligence. Skin, hair, eye colour. With a groan he rubbed at his temples, lightly brushing against the lids of his second-set of eyes as he shifted restlessly on his seat.

Zhanna was sitting before his massive mainframe, making his usual end-day report which consisted of a twenty-page layout of all the current slave exchanges, deaths, and any new arrivals with a basic blurb about their appearance and general attitude along with any comments on how to break them in or which sector/caste was interested in purchasing them. He could still remember when he was new to all this and had several breakdowns in the span of a few hours over the sheer amount paperwork, numbers and intel he had to consolidate within a basic report every day; even worse was because he was too intimidated by his Ancestor to ask him for help. Still was, so to speak, but at least a few of the other slavers had taken pity on Zhanna and helped him until he was able to bear the workload.

While Zhanna had always liked numbers and mathematics due to his caste it had still been so sudden; thrust into the world of a slaver the instant he was drafted during Conscription back on Alternia. It was in his blood and he excelled at it once he caught his bearings. Now it was just another ritual to perform at the end of the day, one that felt as if he had been performing forever.

"Oi, Zhan, whatcha up to?"

The blueblood swallowed down a growl of anger; he'd invited his moirail over so he had no reason to get snarky because said diamond actually showed up. Zhanna glanced over his shoulder, seeing the lanky tealblood staring at him inquisitively; he was still wearing his flesharvestor uniform, though his goggles were pushed up along his brow, his short jagged hair even more messy than usual and his uniform was covered in grease and various body fluids. The four large glass capsules housed on his left shoulderpad were all empty of their usual concoctions of mindhoney and undiluted sopor, which meant Barkus had used them all up most likely on installing or repairing a helmsman. Zhanna would still remember the angry snit Barkus worked himself into when the invasion of the planet Earth began and the humans somehow managed to kill over a dozen helmsmen through infection of vulnerable code, something that caught everyone off guard. Zhanna could relate; the humans proved to be irritatingly crafty and weirdly... _liberal_ , what with their strange sense of morals and abject anger towards helmsmen and slavery, some of them even getting near suicidal in their attempted liberation of the Carnivals and planetside slaving pens. Fascinating species. 

Still brooding slightly on the subject of those aliens Zhanna could see Barkus roll his eyes before moving across the room. With practiced ease he unhooked the ever present limbless psionic strapped to his back, the mustardblood barely shifting as Barkus hefted it into the wide glass tube jutting from the wall next to Zhanna's wardrobifier. Humming under his breath he placed the psionic within the tube, sinking u halfway up to its chest the thick green sopor even as Barkus hooked up the lowblood onto the thick, fleshy pink tendrils dangling from the top of the tube.

While the teal occupied himself with fussing over his husk, Zhanna shifted his attention back to his report; he was nearly done anyway and knew Barkus would start needling him as soon as his husk was settled. It was his own fault anyway, inviting his moirail over when his nerves were shot but his diamond's crass demeanor was a welcome relief after the ridged monotony of the last few weeks of reports, status and numbers. Zhanna didn't mind calm, order and keeping his nose to the grindstone but being forced to behave that way the instant he awoke to the time he went to 'coon for sweeps on end without break was exhausting. Zhanna had no idea how his Ancestor managed to do it for so long without going hiveshit, then again that could also be why the Overseer had the emotional range of a teaspoon and looked like his face was carved out of marble all the time. Maybe he was raging and cursing internally all the time and just had the restraint to bottle it up inside-

An empty cup smacking into his left horn cause him to jerk up in surprise, a snarl caught in his throat. Glaring to the side, Zhanna could see Barkus' long-fanged grin and he snapped, "What was that for?"

"You're brooding again."

Zhanna frowned, "I'm writing up my usual end-of-day report, Barkus. Hardly this 'brooding' you speak of."

A snort, followed by, "So you're writing' that shit and brooding at the same time."

"I'm _working_ -"

"Ugh, when you ain't working?" Barkus complained, "That's all ya do, you ain't crash already yeah? 'Cause I can tell this is getting your hackles up again."

"I said I'm fine."

"Stop lying."

"I am not-"

"Uh, yeah ya are," Zhanna could hear the grin in his moirail's voice, "Like I know the constitution for you blues is all highbred and shit but this ain't healthy- I mean lookit all this new breeds and that down here on this desolate lil' rock," Barkus' voice was giddy, almost squeaky., "But nah nah, that isn't why I'm in here whining, well not really so kinda maybe? I got something I wanna show you, eh? It's been somethn' I've been working on for a while, getting it all wagged and stuff. It's down in the slave kennels I have, for the ones you gave me- come on, come on and see," he yanked ineffectively at Zhanna's armoured shoulder again, his voice shifting into a needy whine.

Zhanna just grimaced, trying to finish up his report; he'd been diamonds long enough with the teal to know that as soon as Barkus got an idea in his head he'd hound him relentlessly until Zhanna got fed up enough he went to see what the fuss is about. Zhanna felt his second set of eyelids twitch as a surge of anger shivered down his armoured frame before pinching the bridge of his nose; maybe his moirail was right- all this monotonous and repetitive action was beginning to grate on his nerves. Zhanna would've assumed he was used to it by now but once the initiate excitement of finding another sentient species to enslave there was the ridiculously amount of paper work to go through it- he knew it was how it was always done but Zhanna had no idea _why_ there needed to be so much. The Condesce, may she ever rule over them, didn't seem to care much about schematics and seemed content as long as she got first pick of the best slaves at the start of each sweep. Maybe it was just his Ancestor who was just a stickler for tradition.

A hand suddenly yanking on one of his ears pulled him from his mental rambling and Zhanna snarled, turning around and half-heatedly snapping at the offending limb with long teeth. Barkus just flicked a claw against the blueblood's sharply angled horns before saying, "You done?"

With a low growl Zhanna turned back to the computer and quickly typed out the final paragraph of his report, his nails clacking hard on the keys; luckily it was already built to withstand his blueblood strength so it didn't break as he finished writing before sending it off to the Overseer. He'd probably get lectured later for it, but whatever.

" _Fine,_ look, I'm done," He said, standing up and facing his moirail, "Now what is it you so desperately needed to show me?"

Barkus just grinned, long fangs hanging in a lopsided smile before took Zhanna's armoured wrist and started to lead him from the room, "Seriously, it's over here- down in my kennels. And no askin'! I want it to be a surprise."

With a snort the blueblood allowed the leaner troll to steer him from the room, down the corridor and into the elevator. Zhanna tried to relax even as Barkus rubbed at the exposed skin of the back of his hand, feeling as if his muscles were corded wire about to snap. He really did want a day off but knew if he asked his Ancestor he'd just get that Look of intense disapproval which made Zhanna want to crawl into a hole somewhere and die.

Barkus tugging him out of the elevator broke Zhanna from his pondering and he obediently followed his moirail through the winding corridors of the bowels of the ship. They only passed one other troll, a greenblood with a face littered in bruises, but other than that the ship was deserted since most were either planetside or sleeping. Barkus just gave the olive a disdainful glare and aimed a half-hearted kick at the other midblood as they passed before he turned a corner and stopped in front of a set of steel doors inlaid with Zhanna's and Barkus' symbols. Barkus tapped in the code on the panel and the door whooshed open and he pulled Zhanna in behind him, entering a large grey room with the door shutting automatically behind them.

"See?"

Zhanna just looked neutrally at the several cowering humans Barkus had contained within a barred cage, thick collars around their throats with which chained to the back wall, giving them limited movements, "Yes, the humans. In case you forgot I _gifted_ you these ones; I already knew you had them," Zhanna replied, irritated.

At least Barkus had been taking care of them. He originally had a dozen but Barkus tended to get extremely hungry when he just got back from his shifts. Zhanna didn't really care as long as his moirail cleaned up the mess and didn't bring it into his work place. Humans did taste a bit too metallic for him as if sinking his teeth into a slab of squirming metal, though the coppery undertones had a tint of nostalgia for him.

"Well _duh_ you gave them to me, you dumb shit," Barkus' smile took the bite out of his words, "But nah, nah, that ain't why I lead you down here- I was fuckin' about with this lot the other day and you wanna know what I found out?" his smile became mischievous.

Zhanna wrinkled his nose in distaste, "Please tell me you haven't been 'experimenting' with the aliens."

"I have! But like none of that weird pail shit, that's just gross- nah, nah, I found out something _waaaaaay_ better! Watch, watch watch!"

Quickly moving past Zhanna Barkus pulled out a small orb from his sylladex. Zhanna blinked, recognizing the yellow/red orb with the elaborate black swirl- a Oogonibomb? Zhanna hid a grin; even after all these sweeps his moirail was still a Fiduspawn nerd.

"So what? You've been teaching them how to play?" Zhanna asked, unable to help himself, "You know it won't really work- humans are as stupid as a bronze or rust, so you're largely wasting your time."

"Ugh, tell me about it," Barkus said, tossing the Oogonibomb from hand to hand, "But not to worry! I find out somethin' reeeeal fun to do! Ain't done it onna pack yet, so this is gonna be good. Here, just sit your ass back and watch, my precious blue diamond."

Zhanna arched his brow but nonetheless leaned backwards the wall with his arms folded, opposite the captive humans. Said aliens were staring at them with wide, panicked eyes and a part of Zhanna approved of how healthy they looked; clearly Barkus had been feeding and cleaning them properly as their clothes were still intact and their hair and eyes were still glossy and bright. The seven were a mix of skin, age and hair variation though all but one were only around a a dozen sweeps old- Zhanna wasn't able to get wigglers for himself since they were so hard to catch and died so easily but he tried to get youngish ones for his moirail. Apparently Barkus had eaten the other older ones at this point however leaving only one old left. Perhaps he liked them aged, gives the meat less give as Zhanna knew his moirail liked to gnaw upon his meals.

They cringed away as Barkus prowled towards them, clicking in the back of his throat as he advanced. Zhanna did note with interest the eldest human, the one with deep lines sunken into her leathery skin and her brown hair speckled with grey, was holding herself in front of the other humans as if using herself as a shield. A strange sense of protectiveness despite the fact Zhanna knew none of those humans within the cage spoke the same language or were on the same continent- which was another thing about humans he found baffling, why did they have so many languages? Trolls only had one, the Condesce made sure of it as it was a waste of time to have more than one.

Barkus meanwhile tapped on the cage bars with a long claw, causing the oldest human to glare as the others shifted behind her like an anxious flock of featherbeasts. The tealblood cooed mockingly at the group before he tossed the Oogonibomb into the cage where it hit the steel floor with a soft _pyoof!_ which caused all the humans to tense. For a moment the Oogonibomb did nothing then it started to shudder and pulse before opening in a messy splatter. With a few wobbly steps the purple Fidusucker scuttled out of the remains of the Oogonibomb, wiggling a few times to shake off some excess slime as its white feelers gently probed at the air. It was far bigger, thicker than the ones wigglers would play with and Zhanna knew his moirail still regularly played the 'adult' version of Fiduspawn, despite its wiggerlish roots.

Barkus let out a breathy giggle, glancing over his shoulder to flash Zhanna a broad grin to which he just raised his eyebrows in response. Rolling his eyes, Barkus looked back at the cage where the Fidusucker was scuttling back and forth uncertainly on its four lean legs, the humans staring at it with a mixture of horror and distaste. 

Then the Fidusucker pounced.

Before anyone could blink the purple shelled creature launched itself forward and latched right onto the face of the oldest human who was still hunkered protectively in front of the rest, causing the others to let out panicked screams as she toppled onto the ground, clawing ineffectively at the Fidusucker as it dug its legs into her head.

Zhanna couldn't help but laugh, caught off guard by his moirail's 'surprise' but amused despite himself. _So much for being a lusus..._ It was entertaining to watch the other humans screech and try to tug free of their chains, while the old woman convulsed on the ground with the Fidusucker firmly attached to her face. Barkus spun around back to face him, teal eyes sparkling as he bounded forward.

"So this is your surprise? I must admit, it's quite funny-"

"I know, right! I haven't done it inna pack before, so I wanted you to see! Look at them scream and cower, ain't nothing to worry about," Barkus smiled up at him and Zhanna felt his breath caught in his throat.

"Was I really that transparent?" he said ruefully, stroking the nape of his moirail's neck.

Barkus' smile faded slightly, "Yeah, you've been gettin' your hackles right up over these humans 'cause of all the weird shit with the signs and everythin' and I wanted to show you they ain't all that."

The two trolls glanced over at the captives, where the remaining six humans were sobbing or trying to press themselves further against the wall. By now the Fidusucker had slid off the old human's face from where she was lying spread-eagle and dead on the floor, green bile running from her nose and mouth as her body twitched in its death spasms.

Zhanna surveyed the mess for a long moment, ears curled down slightly before he said hesitatingly, "I guess so...still, I can't help but feel disquiet about-"

A fingertip pressed against his lips, stopping him mid sentence. Barkus studied Zhanna's face for a long moment, his teal eyes soft and his smile lopsided and Zhanna felt his bloodpusher skip a beat as pity swelled in his chest. On impulse he grabbed Barkus' wrist and pulled him against his front, enveloping his moirail in a hug as he nuzzled the teal's short hair, nosing at the base of his tall chisel-shaped horns.

"See? Told ya you were gonna be surprised and now ya were, so no more fussin'," Barkus said, voice muffled against Zhanna's armoured chest as his horns bumped lightly against Zhanna's chin.

"You know me, I can never admit I am startled. I must uphold the ridged morals and expectations of my caste-" he was interrupted again, but instead of a fingertip a pair of soft lips pressed chastely against his own.

"Hush, you," Barkus murmured, eyes soft, as his left hand snaked up and started to gently pap Zhanna's cheek, "You've been worryin' too much lately."

Zhanna smiled, pressing his face against his moirail's palm, "I'm feeling better."

Behind them Zhanna could hear the strangled gurgles coming from the old human as her body started to convulse, the splintery noise of her ribs snapping sounding through the air as her still-warm corpse arched off the floor. Zhanna ignored it and the other humans wailing in panic, instead leaning forward and pressing his lips against Barkus' brow, nose buried in his wild fringe. The teal giggled and wrapped his arms around Zhanna's armoured shoulders and behind them the human's chest burst open in a shower of blood and gore and the twisted, gangly form of the Fiduspawn heaved its way from the woman's chest as the other humans screamed.

Zhanna ignored the irritating noise and pulled Barkus closer to him, close enough he could hear the teal's calm, even breaths and see the numerous small scars crisscorssing his brow. Barkus smiled up at him, large fangs jutting over his lip and his expression caused Zhanna to relax.

His moirail was right, he decided, he was worrying too much over a remote race of mammals who had a few obscure references to his race but on the whole they were vastly inferior. Like all aliens the Empire encountered they would all die soon and they could get on with their lives. Satisfied, he used a hand to tip Barkus' head up and gave him another chaste kiss even as behind them the freshly hatched Fiduspawn lunged towards the human captives and began to feed.


	29. Conscription

_Over five sweeps ago._

* * *

 

Gamzee didn't particularly cope well after the end of Sgrub.

At first there was his thinkpan suddenly becoming too cramped, another consciousness suddenly housed within his own. His thoughts were a confused, jumbled mess as his mind tried to adapt at having memories, feelings and experiences not of his own; Thankfully Kurloz was more than willing to help him, with the ancient Subjugglator easily shifting through the mental maelstrom and coming up with a temporarily solution until Gamzee didn't feel like his skull was about to split open.

His head ached for days as he remained sealed up in his newly restored hive on a resurrected Alternia. Gamzee was no way near proficient at using their psychics as Kurloz was but the older indigo was oddly willing to let himself be assimilated into Gamzee's mind, leaving the Bard as the dominant aspect in their personality. It was all so confusing. Gamzee forgot who and even where he was for long stretches of time, memories and feelings not of his own washing over him. He remembered Beforus, both before and after dying. He remembered finding his Goatdad dead on the beach. He remembered biting out his own tongue and the pain of a needle threading through his lips. He remembered a pair of claws slicing open his face. He remembered being in quadrants with Meulin, Karkat, Mituna and Jane. He still remembered Jane, with those memories being so vivid compared with others. He also remembered Calliope and Caliborn.

In all it was a tiresome quest to finally make himself come out something remotely sane. His and Kurloz's memories eventually settled, his mind suddenly stronger and more stable than ever. There was a level of clarity to his mind Gamzee never remembered having, as he lost much of it due to his sopor addition and subsequent withdraws then that whole brainwashing murder incident with Lil Cal. He never should have touched that thing even if it was to aid his Messiah. Who was now dead which deemed everything he did and got hated for largely irrelevant.

But regardless of his own regrets and misery, Kurloz had a spectacular control over his psychics and mental defenses and with him fusing with Gamzee brought a wondrous sense of stability the Bard had never felt. Even when he was free of any kind of toxic influence such as when he was with Jane or his wigglers Gamzee had never felt this in control of his thoughts. Kurloz still wasn't particularly stable himself, since being undead for a few billion years trapped in a cycle of monotony didn't do anyone favours, the Prince was still of more sound mind than Gamzee was. The lack of buzzing static and hissing voices within his mind was a huge relief though he still got foreign thoughts and feelings from Kurloz yet the other troll was more than content to fade into background noise.

By the end of the first perigee Gamzee had more or less come to terms with his new mental state- he still had no real idea how he was going to use them or even what he was going to do with his life.

His wigglers were dead, most of his friends hated him and vice versa and his matesprite/moirail had been erased from reality. It got to the point he spent hours looking out his kitchen window at the sea and getting the almost overwhelming urge to just walk out into the ocean and drown. That seemed like a peaceful death compared with many he'd suffered. Or at least Kurloz did; Gamzee knew from the new memories he never died in any timeline, though Kurloz had. It was odd, seeing memories of dying. Being blown up, getting killed by Game constructs, even once falling off a giant lily-pad and snapping his neck. But he did recall drowning once, choking to death on the blood from his served tongue in one timeline.

So many deaths. What was one more? Especially considering everyone he cared about was dead- or whatever happened -and his friends seemed more or less too broken to talk to him beyond accusations. A more spiteful part of him wanted to kill them, which Gamzee guessed was Kurloz's more sinister bloodlust at work. After a bit of internal debate he finally decided not to go kick the shit out of his friends, mainly due to the fact he couldn't be bothered and he knew Jane would be disappointed in him if he did as he could still remember her talking in great distaste about the gratuitous and senseless violence the Condesce inflicted on her people. Jane didn't exist anymore but he could swear he occasionally heard her voice, like soothing white noise in the background. At least Lil Cal hadn't spoken to him since the Game ended.

Despite all his brooding on whether he should just die or not for the first perigee Gamzee did nothing. Well, he shifted around his hive a few times, staring blankly out the window or just sprawled out on the floor and watched the ceiling between bouts of unconsciousness. Kurloz, as he slowly merged into Gamzee's mind, did not try to fight or resist him, seemingly just as content to wither away as his younger counterpart was.

However due to his Highblood durability along with the subsequent months of eating Jane's cooking before everything went to smash, his body was a lot hardier than normal. Even back on the Meteor where he starved for weeks on end it would take a while for him to die from malnourished; now it would most likely take almost a sweep, the added weight he gained from all the baking keeping him sustained even as he carelessly languished.

He did briefly wonder about walking outside during the day but burning alive did not sound fun at all. He may be sturdy but pain was pain and he'd had enough of it. Better to just lie there and die. At least that was his reason for not leaving his hive and remaining sprawled out on the floor surrounded by dozens of bottles of faygo, some empty and some full. Seems Kurloz's urge for the drink wasn't fully dissipated and he would scull down a bottle before going back in a haze on the kitchen floor. Maybe he could drown in faygo? That would a way to go.

_Oh, this reminds me of how we met, doesn't it? You being such an odd follow surrounded by a copious amount of drink. Are you going to try and sell me some for old times sake?_

At that achingly familiar voice Gamzee jerked up right from where he was sprawled on the ground, looking around wildly. There, standing in front of his fridge with her arms crossed, was Jane. A low hiss escaped Gamzee's parched throat as he staggered to his feet, sucking in deep huffs of air. He couldn't smell the familiar, soothing smell of baking, sweat and bubblegum his Jane always seemed to carry.

He frowned, squinting at her; his gander bulbs felt dry and itchy and his vision was slightly off. Even so he knew it was her, with her soft-looking human skin, dark fluffy hair and round glasses which her light-blue eyes blinked behind. However she was wearing that ugly, dry brown Maid outfit of hers which he had only seen her wearing for a few moments after they got that tiara-thing off her head. Despite looking so familiar something seemed off; after a few more moments of looking her up and down he finally noticed a soft shimmer at her sides, flicking numerous shades of purple and her body was slightly transparent.

Numerous memories suddenly bubbled up within his thinkpan, of sifting through minds and erasing memories, of conjuring up fake thoughts and emotions, of disembodied hallucinations and sensations and suddenly it clicked inside his head just exactly this was.

"Aw shit, this is just some dream-like miracles my thinkpan majyyk'd up, isn't it?" with a snarl he flopped back onto the floor, "You ain't even here. Just my thinkpan getting all orney or some shit. Fuck that."

 _So?_ Jane asked, arching an eyebrow, _What's wrong with magic? I think creating a universe from a gigantic space frog is a bit magical, don't you think? And all the abilities of the Condesce seemed like magic,_ she gave a nonchalant shrug, _I suppose it depends on your own interpretation of magic- I mean, look at Eridan. 'White Science', like really. I can be fairly permissive at the best of times but he takes it to a whole new level._

Gamzee grumbled and scratched at his head, ragged claws digging into this tangled mess of hair while finally noticing how filthy and unkempt he was. Ignoring it, he said, "How you even know that shit? You never met that snarky grape fishy fuck."

_I'm a figment of your imagination, Gamzee. I only know what you know and am embodied of all the memories of me. And what you _think_ I know._

"Oh, right."

He brooded on the issue for several moments as he curled back up on the floor. He could see Jane- or at least this strange Chucklevoodoo-induced projection of her -walking around his kitchen as she hummed under her breath. At least his mind conjured up kind hallucinations, at least. Not daymare-inducing terrors. Did Horrorterrors even exist now? Still, she wasn't real and he was alone. He'd had enough of delusions lately.

_So?_

Jane' voice in his ear cause him to glare sullenly at her; she was bending over him, buck teeth digging into her lower lip as she studied him intently. Liar.

"What?"

She poked his nose; or at least tried to. Being a figment of his self-targeting psychics her hand phased through the peeling paint on his sniff node. Even so, Gamzee could've sworn he felt the phantom warmth of her soft skin, _I'm in your head, doofus. Besides, nothing wrong with being lonely enough you summon your matesprit using your alien magically mind abilities. It's obvious you do want help, albeit subconsciously which is why I'm here in the first place._

"You ain't real. Fuck off."

 _Hmph, now that is a rude greeting after everything we've been through. Now, I'm going to steal a quote from one of Roxy's favourite wizarding books that I read to you once, so don't you dare tell her I plagiarized this,_ Jane said in low tones, _But just because all of this is happening in your head doesn't make it any less real, does it?_

"I dunno."

 _Gamzee, listen to me,_ Jane settled on the floor next to where the troll was sprawled out, tugging the tails of her Maid outfit out from under her legs as she did so, _Isn't everything that happens in your head what you are? I always found that rather strange, people behaving as if things happen within your mind it makes them less real. Our mind is who we are._

"So why the fuck are you here?"

_Because you need me._

Gamzee just growled under his breath and rolled onto his side so he wasn't facing her anymore. Despite that he could still sense her, an odd tug at the back of this thinkpan and he knew enough from Kurloz's influence that the heady warmth within his head was his chucklevoodoos at work. Great, so he was so desolate and alone he had subconsciously conjured up a hallucination of his dead alien matesprit to lecture him and try to encourage him back into living.

So maybe he really was turning into what his 'friends' all hissed that he was. What they accused him of in the trollian logs, even after the Game. What they always said he was. A maniac.

 _Oh like they can judge,_ Jane interjected roughly, _Wasn't your entire Game session pretty much you all murdering each other? Admittedly I can't judge since I murdered one of my friends and a few more in other timelines, yet in my defense that was under malevolent mind control. Just like your killings of Nepeta and Equius were under mind control. So at least we committed killings while during mental duress and coercion, unlike some other members of your little alien group._

"I wasn't being controlled," Gamzee sniffed. Remember all the times Karkat screamed at him about it made it seem like he'd just killed them for no reason to the point he'd started to believe it.

 _Don't you lie,_ Jane snapped, blunt teeth bared, _I'm in your head, remember? That evil....thing was a hub for Lord English, wasn't it? You knew that already- well, after the fact and you met up with that Dancestor of yours. But before that you had no idea before you saw into Lil Cal's eyes. Hmm, his name does make sense...Little Caliborn. Guess that's what it was, a living embodiment of that evil snitty brat. But regardless, we killed our friends while under intense mental duress and it is not your fault. Besides, didn't Equius need to die in order to make Lord English? He was part of Lord English, after all and Lil Cal made you kill Equius since he was to die to make someone who was already here. Nepeta was just...collateral, I guess? But then Caliborn hated Calliope, didn't he? And Nepeta seems like her- a sweet green girl who likes shipping. So also little wonder she died while you were controlled by someone who hated a person like that._

"...I guess..."

_Exactly. Do you think I'm a vicious murderer because I killed Jake?_

"No," That was something he didn't dispute, as he could easily recall all the times Jane fondly mentioned her friends and even had them visit before the whole brainwashing thing occurred. She certainly seemed to care about them a great deal even though they weren't in any specific quadrants. Or something. He didn't know, humans were weird and Jane had treated her friends like moirails almost, even though she complained about them occasionally.

It didn't really matter, though. He was a troll and a Highblood at that. Though he largely didn't care about the hemospecutrum he knew even if he told someone what he did they wouldn't care, and he wouldn't be punished. Unlike Jane, whom he knew from her speaking about Earth any kind of murder was looked down upon and dealt with, regardless of the perpetrator.

 _I admit, killing Terezi was slightly...overboard but that was her own fault. Why did she attack you anyway? Her attacking you resulted in me getting the opportunity to kill Jake and I mean more to you than her, don't I,_ Jane said, tone lofty, _Besides, none of them stayed dead so why are they even complaining? Seems like they have issues with letting go._

Great. So not only was he arguing with a projection of his mind, he was loosing the argument.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later, after a bout of hysterical crying followed by him shredding half of his kitchen he found himself sitting on his pile of horns while the phantom of his alien matesprit studied his clown posters. He felt a weird mix of longing and despair if he looked at her for too long, followed by fury. Why wasn't she here? Or alive. He didn't really care too much about himself and he had low opinions of his 'friends' so he felt that if anyone deserved to be given life after the Game it was the humans. But no, they were dead and he was alone. Alone enough his mind decided to conjure up a memory-fueled illusion of her.

It could be worse, Calliope could also be there, all green and scaly. If she did show up Gamzee was fairly certain he'd just walk into the sea and drown himself, unable to deal with everything he lost.

He wondered if this was how Megido and Captor felt, constantly haunted by voices and ghosts.

A part of him wanted to contact them and ask but when he checked his husktop he already had over a dozen messages, most of them death threats and hate mail. He was used to that but when he checked Megido the memo she posted was written mostly in Damara's odd dialect and Captor's responses where intelligible gibberish. Not getting help from that angle.

Rather than dwell on his friends- most of who seem to be severely thinkpan broken at the moment -he spent some of his time meandering through his hive. The citrus scent of sopor called to him whenever he passed his reperacoon but Jane's quick threats put an end to any entertainment of eating the green slime again, despite a part of him hungering for the blissful need of being stoned and oblivious to everything.

A part of him knew he could easily force this phantom of Jane away if he really wanted to but he liked the company she was even if his bloodpusher ached when he looked at her for too long. Wallowing in self denial wasn't healthy, but when it came to it Gamzee didn't care. He would rather be mad and delusional before he banished her- it wasn't like everyone else didn't think he was a maniac anyway. Might as well get some comfort from it for once.

To try and shift his mind off that and to prevent himself from thinking too deeply on how the real Jane was dead and a part of it was his fault, he wound up trying to clean out his sylladex. It was full of empty bottles of faygo, potions and numerous cans of 'hair spray'. He didn't know what the cans really were for but the Kurloz part of his mind approved despite the fact it tasted terrible.

The Godtier Prince and Bard outfits where also within his sylladex. Gamzee found it baffling, considering he'd been wearing his Godtier outfit when the sky literally split open and the Game ended but he'd woken up wearing his old outfit of a black shirt and grey pants. Following Jane's encouragement he tried both outfits on, finding they fit him perfectly despite Gamzee knowing Kurloz had been taller and more slender than he was. He switched back and spent nearly an hour staring at the purple clothes, feeling acid well up in his protein chute; all that suffering he went through to serve his Messiah and he got nothing in return, no Godtier, no matesprit, no wigglers. It was as if everything was mocking him again.

Usually he didn't care but with Kurloz's mind bringing him such a new state of clarity it was now impossible to ignore all the horrible undertones he typically never noticed. It was frustrating and enraging.

He tried throwing the two outfits into the ocean after some thought. They showed up in his sylladex an hour later. So he tried burning them. They returned inside his sylladex scant seconds later.

Jane suggested that the outfits decided to haunt him. He retorted she was already fulfilling that role.

She didn't talk to him for an hour after that until she popped out of the wall to yell it for trying to eat some of the moldy food in this fridge.

 

* * *

 

A perigee later Gamzee was sitting outside on the beach, having finally left his hive at Jane's insistence he _needed some fresh clean air._ Gamzee didn't really know how outside air was different from inside air, but he nonetheless bowed to her words after getting an audio duct full of them for days on end.

He had to grudgingly admit he did feel better being outside, even if it was just sitting in the sand and drawing nonsensical designs. The sky was a deep purple scattered with stars and wispy clouds and it took Gamzee nearly ten minutes to finally figure out what was nagging at the back of his thinkpan as soon as he stepped outside.

The green moon was gone.

It was strange but not particularly alarming; he knew from Kurloz's memories Beforus had no green moon, just the pink so it took him a while to figure it out. He also knew from Kurloz that the green moon housed the First Guardian of Alternia. Who was now apparently unneeded and further proof that the Game was truly over. It was a fairly bitter realization.

His lusus still didn't show up but Gamzee found he didn't care. Or at least he told himself he did, as Jane remarked it was okay to miss a guardian, even if they were never there. Gamzee still remembered all of Jane's stories about her human-lusus, and her hive had numerous pictures of them. He found the odd bond between the two envious; he wondered what troll life would be like if Ancestors raised their Descendants.

 _You can ask,_ Jane suggested from where she was sitting cross-legged next to him, _Apparently your kind gets Conscripted, don't they? Kurloz knew that from all his spying on your Dreambubbles and whatnot. And since the Game left you guys at seven sweeps old, that can't be too far away and for all you know your Ancestor is still alive. He'd be a Highblood, just like you. Well actually...wouldn't he be Kurloz?_

Gamzee blinked, eyes unfocused as he thought over her words; technically he _would_ be Kurloz. Admittedly a Kurloz raised on Alternia, where he would no doubt have turned out as a very different person. He brooded on the issue for several moments, the only sounds being the steady crashes of the waves before a presence on the edges of his mental awareness caught his attention.

That was another thing he was coming to terms with, being able to sense other minds with his own. It was almost like he was able to cast a net of mental awareness and thus became aware when anyone came within a certain radius of him. He wasn't too sure if it was to do with his psychics or Rage abilities, since the mind that was coming closer and closer to him positively _seethed_ with fury.

Beyond that, however, he recognized that mind. She'd been nice to him and even allied with him- at different lives, sure, but she'd never attempted to harm him before. It was also because of her he even got to met Jane and his Cherubs in the first place so he would at least see what she would do.

Gamzee shifted in place, digging his claws into the sand as he waited for her to get closer. From his newly enhanced psychics he already knew what she wanted; the desperation and low-level fear in her mind made it obvious, his abilities latching onto the desperate emotions automatically as she came within range.

 _Be careful,_ Jane warned him, _It feels like she is literally sick with rage, the poor thing. She may act out of sorts._

He just gave a grunt in response, glancing up from the nonsensical patterns he'd been making and up towards the night sky. Eventually a glint of crimson appeared on the horizon, moving erratically through the air before consolidating into the familiar form of Aradia. Despite his fairly apathetic state Gamzee couldn't help but straighten up slightly as he noticed Aradia had kept her wings, the scarlet appendages almost blurs as the rustblood swooped down past the treeline and skimming across the sand before coming to an unsteady landing a few feet from him.

Aradia made a almost inaudible pained noise before attempting to smile. At least Gamzee guessed she was, as her weak smile twisted into an expression more akin to a pained grimace after a few seconds as her hands shook. She was dressed in a plain black shirt inscribed with her symbol, a tattered grey skirt and messy shoes, just like what she used to wear before she died.

Gamzee frowned, scratching at his peeling facepaint. He can't even remember what Aradia looked like before the Game, so it was most likely from Kurloz's spying. It was frustrating, remembering things that he had never personally witnessed- not to mention all the overlapping memories from hundreds of different timelines that were now also stuffed into his head. He gave a grunt, pressing out a thought towards Aradia's twisting mind.

He already knew what she wanted even before he made contact; the desperation in her mind was potent enough he could still feel it, even though the seething fury made it difficult to tell. Gamzee was actually fairly impressed Aradia managed to keep her composure for so long and restrain herself from killing any of them. He knew enough from Kurloz that Damara's rage was nothing to scoff at, the rust going literally mad with fury for a long while when they were alive. She? They. Whatever.

Without pause he shifted through her mind, ignoring the searing touch of the anger overriding it, easily asking her if she was sure about this- Aradia fervently consented, a wave of emotions emanating from her exhausted mind as Gamzee carefully picked through her thinkpan. Rage, desperation, tiredness, understanding and hope; they all battered at his mind but Kurloz was far too old and experience to let such a thing bother them, so Gamzee was able to sleuth through her thoughts, careful not to dislodge or dig too intently. It was almost disturbing how vulnerable she was letting herself be, letting him into her mind without hesitation.

 _She trusts you,_ Jane murmured at the back of his mind, _She bears you no ill will, as she knows exactly how everything was going to pan out- she understands and accepts it so she knows, or at least hopes, that you'll help her because she understands._

Understands everything was intended and nothing they did meant otherwise. Didn't mean Gamzee couldn't be bitter over losing everything, all the same. But Jane was right- or that phantom of her was -and Aradia and Damara had never done him ill will. So without further ado he found the main source of the crippling anger within her subconscious, feeling the tang of bloodlust, humiliation and betrayal which fueled it and, like dousing a fire with water, snuffed it out while taking care to avoid the rest of her mind. It would do no good to break her or leave her without feeling anything.

He stayed within her mind for a few moments to make sure he didn't accidentally mess anything else up; despite the weird merger with Kurloz it was unmistakably the Prince who knew most about mind manipulation on a level it left the Serket's looking like fumbling wigglers. Because of that he very carefully extracted himself from her mind, brushing past a few memories by accident; memories of burning alive in green fire and reemerging alive and strong, of tyrian blood staining as knuckles as bones snapped under her punches, of music boxes left within a dusty crate on a broken meteor.

Gamzee grimaced, shifting uneasily in place as he blinked, watching Aradia with an dull look as she rolled back on her heels, lips slightly parted. Then she grinned, expression so joyous he felt almost sickened, even as sheer gratitude began to emanate from her. A Maid, through and through. Pity it was the wrong one.

_Stop it._

Shaking the angry thoughts he accepted Aradia's gratitude and her warning about him being potentially attacked- if they wanted to start something with him then they'll find he won't just stand compliant and let them hurt him. Aradia didn't seem too bothered by his admittance, instead thanking him again before leaving in a swirl of crimson dust and sparkling motes.

He wish he'd gotten wings.

 _You did,_ Jane suddenly said next to him, watching Aradia's rapidly vanishing form disappear over the horizon, _As Kurloz, remember?_

He didn't, actually; Kurloz's memories felt a lot more indistinct and foggy. It's just there were so many of them Gamzee wasn't even too sure who he was anymore at some point. It was all very confusing; he wondered if everyone else was like that.

 _Probably,_ Jane shrugged, getting to her feet and brushing imaginary sand off her brown Maid trousers, _Now let's get inside before you catch a chill._

"The motherfuck is a chill?"

_Ugh._

 

* * *

 

He got another visitor a few days later, much to his chagrin. Gamzee just wanted to be left alone _'to wallow in filth and self-loathing'_ as Jane eloquently put it. He found it frustrating that suddenly everyone wanted to bother him, when they seemed more than content to act like he was gone or commit nonsensical murder attempts on him on that stupid rock. Jane tried to make him more sociable- Gamzee was unsure if this was his subconscious or the lurking mind of Kurloz at work -but eventually the Maid managed to make him eat something. The 'something' was a small squeakbeast lusus he caught in the treeline and ate raw much to his imaginary matesprit's disgust but she relented in her scolding when he agreed to have a bath afterwards.

Admittedly he felt a lot better afterwards before he noticed Jane sitting on the kitchen table and descending into brooding again. Why was he even bothering, was a good question. Before he could slip into a darker state he felt someone slowly approach his hive.

It was Nepeta.

He knew her mind; or at least Kurloz did and a part of his bloodpusher ached with a strong tug of nostalgia and fainter affection. Great.

"Just what I fucking need," he growled from where he was slumped against his husktop desk.

_Be nice._

"No."

 _Gamzee,_ Jane's voice took on that 'don't you give me that indecisive shit' tone she adopted whenever she caught him doing something she heavily disproved of, like clogging the toilet with his one wheeled device or that one time when she caught him wearing her strange human underwear, _She's probably just as confused as you are- she now has Meulin as a part of her, and she was close to Kurloz for a few billion sweeps._

He just gave a groan in response, uncaring as he heard Nepeta knock on the door. He was half-expecting her to come crashing through the window, in all honesty. Rolling onto his side he yanked his claws from the wall before tracing the line of one of the three scars still marring his face. Unlike everyone else, those injuries were still there.

 _Oh come now, I'm sure she's forgiven you for that whole 'bludgeoned to death' thing,_ Jane said, sitting on the floor next to him, _After all you were possessed by an evil puppet at the time, one part of its soul which had a ridiculous amount of predisposed hatred towards sweet green girls who like shipping her friends. Little wonder you were fairly...zealous. But that's bygones will be bygones, isn't it?_

"Huh?"

_In the past._

"Oh..." he glared at the wall, digging his ragged claws into one of his posters. He felt a painful buzzing start at the base of his skull as his thinkpan began to throb, torn between ignoring Nepeta or addressing her, the internal struggle angering him.

Jane kicked at his leg, seemingly unperturbed by the fact her foot went through him, _Get up and go see what she wants this instant, buster._

He snarled, tempted to ignore her but he knew she'd just continue to scold him until he spoke to the greenblood. With a grunt Gamzee got up and nearly fell over as vertigo overtook him. Sucking in a shaky breath he leaned against the desk, face twisted into a grimace. After a few moments the room stopped spinning and he reluctantly shuffled over to the door, feeling a mix of annoyance and apprehension.

When he opened the door Nepeta took an automatic step back, gloved hands clenching at her sides. Gamzee studied her for a long moment, taking in the deep circles under her eyes and her tangled mess of hair. She tipped her head up, gaze hardening under his scrutiny and causing him to frown.

_Be nice._

"What'd you want?" he asked gruffly.

 _That wasn't nice,_ Jane grumbled behind him and he growled at her under his breath. He wish he stayed on the floor or remained unconscious.

Nepeta tensed at his snarl before straightening up, blue tail curling around her leg before she said quietly, "I just...I just want to talk."

"'Bout what?"

The greenblood gave him an annoyed look before snarking at him, "Looks like you've still got my claws on your face."

"Fuck you," he snapped and jerked back, about to slam the door shut.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Nepeta grimaced, her body tensing, "I'm just...really out of sorts and that was uncalled for. But you do still...," she gestured to her face.

_This is really awkward._

"Yeah, still got that shit where you got your claws on," Gamzee replied, eyeing her cautiously, "Dunno why. Could be you clawed my soul up as well. Figure this is some miracle Game hoofbeastshit we ain't ever gonna get."

"...Ah," Nepeta rubbed at her chin, expression strained, "I get that efurrything is diffurent but you remember, right? Because of our Dancestors."

"I ain't him and if you got any of your kittybitch's mind pictures you sure as fuck know he ain't giving a real fuck about her," Gamzee said shortly.

Jane flicked next to him, expression frustrated, _Gamzee, stop being an ass. She's confused and not a psychic, she probably just wants some closure, not you rubbing it in her face that Kurloz brainwashed Meulin half the time._

He was too busy giving Jane an annoyed look to notice Nepeta also staring at her, an expression of abject surprise on her face. Jane just rolled her eyes and Gamzee faced Nepeta again, anger rising in his gut as he ground out, "So what? You want me to- I don't fucking know, _what_ even do you want?"

"I just want to try and clear some things up!" Nepeta protested, shoulders hunched defensively, "Efurrything is so confusing! Meulin got crammed into my thinkpan and everything is twisted up and weird! She was with Purloz fur so long so her memeowries are everywhere and I can't make her shut up."

"So, what? You want me to go rootlin' in your thinkpan and clear that shit up-"

"No!" she interrupted, sharp and quick. Her eyes were shiny and wet as if she was on the verge of tears, "I just...I don't know...I'm just confused. I think talking with you might help."

"How?"

"I don't know, but it's a purroblem fur me."

"Well I ain't your fucking pink-dusted diamond," Gamzee snapped out, his mood getting fouler, "So why don't you go get your harp on in your blueblood's audio duct?"

Nepeta's claws clenched at her sides as an expression of deep anguish and helplessness crossed her face, "I can't, there's something wrong with him. He won't talk, he won't eat, he won't even move."

Gamzee cocked his head to the side, horns hitting his doorframe. He hadn't know about that but considering who Equius had been fused with it wasn't that surprising that he had succumbed to the Page of Void. Being turned into a blank page didn't really do anyone any favours. Horuss just benefited from being trapped inside the Dreambubbles for a few billion sweeps and managed to claw a few things back into his mind. Equius didn't have the luxury of that.

A small, spiteful part of him took satisfaction in Equius' mental stagnation, mainly because he now knew from Kurloz's fusion with him that it put all of the blueblood's messages to him in perspective and he now did not appreciate any of the things he'd called him.

 _Stop that,_ Jane chided, _He most likely isn't the same- well, Nepeta just admitted he's having, erm, his own set of issues. But if he does try to start up his old habits you will be able to nip that in the bud soon enough._

Gamzee couldn't remember what nipping something in the bud really meant, but Jane used it enough times when they were in the Alpha Session. Again Nepeta looked over at the space where Jane was with confusion but didn't say anything even as her eyes narrowed in confusion. Gamzee once again ignored her scrutiny before glancing back to her.

Nepeta looked oddly frail, her usual boundless energy and underlying ferocity gone and replaced with anxiety and bone-deep worry. Despite everything that had gone between them, Gamzee still liked Nepeta; she had been one of the few people who hadn't treated him callously and he even roleplayed with her a few times before everything turned murderous and horrible. Now, however, he wasn't sure what to think; while he knew Kurloz was fond of Meulin he hadn't hesitated in using the greenblood for his own gain or that of his Messiahs so despite their Dancestors history he didn't feel any strong affection for her. If anything, the dregs of Kurloz's feelings for Meulin angered him, as they interfered with the ones he felt for Jane. He didn't know who Meulin was and he felt annoyed she was intruding upon his mind.

"So what?" Gamzee suddenly spoke, looking down at Nepeta, "I dunno how to heal thinkpans 'sides my own so I can't do shit for your blue. Ask that spiderbitch."

Nepeta's expression twisted into something foul, "I'll kill Whiska myself before she lays a paw on Equius!"

He gave her an odd look, even as he approved of her anger; he certainly wouldn't hesitate to kill Vriska if she showed up at his own hive, since he knew what she did to him in different timelines, and even remembered the one where she killed Jane. Or Aranea did. Regardless, he approved of Nepeta's stance on the Serket even as he said, "She's the only one who knows how to fix fucked up pans, even if she ain't got off her ass to fix Captor's in the Dreambubbles. Selfish fuck, so yeah don't blame you."

She sighed, "I know- it's just you helped Aradia, so...."

"She had rage problems."

"Oh."

An awkward silence descended on them, with Gamzee shifting in place as Jane's disapproval began to hang heavily around him while Nepeta began to look more and more upset. He had no idea what Nepeta even wanted anymore; he didn't have an idea how to help reconcile her with the Meulin part when he didn't want to.

Nepeta's quiet voice cut through his brooding, "I mean, I understand if you don't want to talk- I heard from Aradia that your matespurrit was one of the humans, Jane, and that she died-"

Gamzee surged forward, snapping at Nepeta's face with long teeth as he snarled ferociously. Nepeta was already gone, having twisted and sprung out of the way as soon as his face twitched, sprinting away on all fours.

He was about to chase her, rage surging hot and violent, only for Jane's voice to cut through his churning emotions like a knife- _Let her go, Gamzee. You made your point._

Nepeta paused at the treeline a few yards away and even that far away he could see the abject misery on her face. He glared and the greenblood turned, covering her face as she vanished into the woods.

Jane let out a groan, running her hand through her hair as she said, _Nice one. Gamzee, this is why no one wanted to talk to you on the Meteor. You just can't maul your problems away._

He snarled at her before stalking back into his hive and slamming the door shut so hard he cracked the frame.

 

* * *

 

Vriska tried to visit him at some point.

He wasn't even sure what she wanted but quite frankly he couldn't be bothered with her at this point, telling her to leave as soon as she arrived. Undaunted the cerulean continued to pester Gamzee until he was tempted to beat her into a bloody paste in the sand, but figured attention- no matter what kind -was what Serkets thrived on. Amusingly enough she didn't take him ignoring her that well and attempted to take mental control of him out of spite.

Gamzee retaliated by psychically punching her mind with his own, hard enough he knocked her over. She left without a word and heavily bruised pride.

Jane approved.

 

* * *

 

His rather unadventurous behaviour, coupled with his slow starvation and apathy, meant he was completely unaware of how close it was getting to Conscription. As such, when Kanaya and Karkat came to speak with him, Gamzee just assumed they were visiting to start another fight with him. They certainly weren't shy about it back on the Meteor, Kanaya especially.

He sensed their minds first, Karkat's being a mire of thick crimson while Kanaya's was collected mind was like a calm lake compared to Vantas' churning pool. The violence lurking underneath was easy enough for him to detect but he made no effort to retreat back into his hive. He spent most of his nights sitting on the beach just outside, lost in a doze until his skin started burning when the sun rose and he was chased back inside.

Jane was more than content with him staying outside, her voice becoming softer and her physical manifestation getting blurred as his health steadily deteriorated. In the end she seemed to accept he was perfectly willing to die on Alternia, even if deep waves melancholy would occasionally roll through him when he thought about it too much. He didn't mind, he just hoped that he'd see her and his Cherubs in wherever they went when they died- he didn't know if this life had Dreambubbles or not.

Kanaya clearing her throat cut him from his thoughts and Gamzee shot her an ugly look from underneath his wild snarls of hair.

"The fuck you want?" he growled, not bothering to pretend to be friendly. Especially to her, of all people. He still remembered being forced into the vents because of her 'clown hunting'. He still didn't understand why she hated him so much- she didn't care for the two he killed and she was more than to content to let Vriska roam free. Or was that a different timeline? They seemed to blur all together at this point.

To her credit, Kanaya continued to look calm and collected unlike Karkat whose facial expression seemed to be twisted between anger and indignation, minute shudders rolling through his small body. Speaking in low tones Kanaya spoke, "We just came to see how you've been."

He scoffed, "Fuck off, you ain't over here making noise at me to 'see how I've been', I ain't as blind to the hoofbeastshit you pull now so why don't you just tell me why you're here getting up in my fuckin' face?"

"As I said," she growled through clenched teeth, apparently abandoning her fake politeness, "We came to see how you've been. We have all been changed since the end of Sgrub, and I was curious as to how it also affected you."

"Yeah? Well, you don't smell like a fuckin' corpse, so that's something," he said dryly, "This ending miracle fix up your dead problem?"

"It did, actually," she replied frostily, straightening the hem of her shirt.

Next to him Jane gave the jadeblood a nasty look; this time she was wearing her bloodred Crockerteir robes, her glare being impressive enough Gamzee was impressed Karkat and Kanaya didn't burst into flames.

 _Isn't she rude?_ Jane said, lips twisted into a scowl, _And if I didn't know any better I think these two are just here looking for a fight._

Gamzee scoffed under his breath, ignoring the looks the two gave him to focus on Jane. He didn't like the red on her- it reminded him too much of human blood and he could see the spidery lines of the circuitry spreading from her brow. Sensing this, the phantom flickered before her clothes switched to the normal beige Maid outfit.

"So what? You want me to play nice? Fuckin' hold hands and do a ring-around something called a rosie like in that lil' slice of slam poetry you read me?" Gamzee asked Jane, nothing bothering to look at Kanaya and Karkat.

_No- I'm just saying be prepared for a fight, since I do believe they wish to enact violence against you._

He made a thoughtful noise before looking back up at the two trolls; both had matching expressions of confusion on their faces since he'd been talking to thin air but he didn't care. Instead with a grunt he got up to his feet, eyes blearily fixed on Kanaya as her posture subtly shifted. Jane was right; violence lurked just underneath Kanaya's calm exterior, enough that he extremely doubted all those 'urges' she suffered from back in the Game were just because of her Rainbow Drinker status.

Karkat butted in then and started to talk to him. However Gamzee didn't care and promptly tuned it out; he was used relentless boring babble of a Vantas, a boring monologue that would last for hours on end without pause. He used to complain right back when he had his tongue. When Kurloz had his tongue. Whatever. Regardless he just tuned it out, not having the energy to even pretend that he cared.

The tip of a sickle against his throat eventually caught his attention and he looked up through his bangs at Karkat whose face was torn between anger and fear.

"Get the _fuck_ away from me," Gamzee hissed, rage curdling his voice.

"No, you will listen to what I have to fucking say," Karkat snapped back, "I've seen enough of this hoofbeastshit to know it's going to go all hiveshit- because of you and a few other fuckups we have that seem to think acting like a bulge twisted assholes is a totally appropriate response to all the absolutely fuckery that happened, same with you killing Terezi. I have no idea what the fuck you were doing at the end of all this colossal shit or what the fuck you gave that human that made her completely stupid enough to get in quadrants with you or whatever the fuck she was doing-"

Karkat didn't get to finish his sentence as Gamzee surged off the ground, easily smacking aside the sickle and, in one quick movement, bit off Karkat's left hand.

Gamzee could tolerate a lot of things including insults to himself but he wouldn't tolerate someone like Karkat insulting Jane so blithely like that.

Karkat's strangled scream of agony was cut short as Gamzee punched him squarely across the face, knocking out one of the mutant's blunt teeth and sending him reeling back into the sand. Gamzee ducked just as a chainsaw nosily whipped through the space his head had just been and the Bard twisted and pounced, spitting out Karkat's hand and snarling viciously in Kanaya's face.

This close he was able to seize her wrist with one of his own, ignoring the long teeth that sank into his forearm as he reached up with his spare hand, grabbing onto the smooth surface of Kanaya's right horn and _pulled_ with all his strength.

With a hideously wet tearing sound he tore her horn out by the root, sending a spray of jade blood splattering across his front and face. Kanaya let out a strangled gurgle, agony causing her to collapse instantly in a twitching mess. Still holding her freshly severed horn, Gamzee ignoring the thrashing jadeblood to pick Karkat up by the throat, easily holding the small, crying troll off the ground.

Gamzee wanted to snap his neck.

He could also tell Jane wouldn't stop him from killing either of them though he could feel her distaste about it lurking at the back of his thinkpan.

However Gamzee couldn't be bothered actually killing them, the hot, copper taste of blood in his mouth making him want to puke as memories welled up within his mind and the almost overwhelming reek of burning flesh assailing his nostrils.

_To be what they think you are, or not?_

With a disgusted snarl he bodily hurled Karkat away from him and the small troll went tumbling in the sand, red blood still gushing from the stump of his left hand. He flung Kanaya soon after him and the two remained in a heap, moaning in the pain.

Then he went back into his hive.

They were both gone when he went outside the next night, the only proof of them being there in the first place was the drying puddles of jade and crimson splattered on the beach, along with the severed hand and horn which he stowed in his sylladex.

 _Maybe they got the message this time,_ Jane suggested as she toed at the nearby pile of blood.

Gamzee doubted it.

 

* * *

 

His last visit was a lot less violent and for a brief moment Gamzee actually considered leaving with Feferi and Aradia when they showed up to speak to him. But in the end he simply couldn't be bothered- if he left he'd have to deal with all that garbage with his estranged 'friends' and he'd had enough of being treated like crap by them in the Game. He wasn't going to go through all that again when he simply didn't care if they all got killed of not.

"Gamzee," Aradia's voice was soft, "If you don't leave with us, you'll be killed."

"Yeah," he shrugged carelessly from where he was sitting on the steps to his hive, weak enough he could barely lift his head to greet the two other trolls.

Feferi looked troubled, "You're goin' to let the drones krill you? Gamz please, you don't gotta do this ship-"

"No."

"What?"

"I ain't going. So use this time to..." he waved a hand carelessly, parched mouth feeling as if it were stuffed with cotton, "I dunno, sort your shit out since you're gonna be doing rebellion shit."

Aradia frowned, her wings fluttering on her back, "Gamzee, the drones are going to be here soon. They'll kill you if you don't come."

Gamzee shrugged, nearly falling over, "Look, it makes me feel all wiggle and glowbug inside that you two are getting all concerned and shit, but I'm fine just sitting here waitin'. Ain't got anything out there for me anyway."

"You have us!" Feferi protested, "And if you're worried aboat Kanaya and Karkat I'll give them a right on smacking, don't cha worry."

He cracked a weak smile at that, gums almost white, "I know. But I don't wanna go. I'm fine just..."

"Just dyin'?" Feferi looked upset, webbed hands twisting into her brightly coloured skirts, "Look, we ain't mad over Karcrab and Kan- they started that ship and it's their fault, like I already told those glubbers to fuck off and look what happened."

"I'm not going."

Feferi looked like she was tempted to drag him with her by his hair and he couldn't help but let out a weak laugh. She'd made a pretty good Empress if she kept that up.

Aradia sighed, expression troubled before asking him solemnly, "Are you really sure?"

"Yeah. I ain't got anything here I want- figured if I died I'm bound to find 'em afterwards, you know? This shit those motherfuckers started at me kinda made it obvious this fuckery isn't a life for me. I can't be bothered goin' through another two sweeps of that shit."

"Oh, Gamzee, If you're sure-"

"We ain't leaving him!"

"For fucks sake, Feferi! We can't force him to come with us. If he wants this, we have to accept it. Remember, you're not going to be your marifana jōshū-sha of an Ancestor- and if you're not, then you have to respect it when people don't wanna be forced into shit for you."

Looking angry, Feferi glanced between the two before turning back to Gamzee. He just smiled at her, to which her expression crumbled slightly, "Whale...if you're shore, Gamzee. I don't wanna leave you, but I can't force you to do this ship. Would be fun, though. Like old times."

"Sure it would be, fishsis. But ain't for me."

Feferi sighed, fins curling down as she gave him a pitying look before anger swarmed over her features and making her snap out, "Fin. Sit here and die then," before storming off, her long tangled mess of hair dancing behind her.

Aradia let out a muffled laugh as she watched Feferi leave in a grand huff, "Eh, don't let her get to you- she's just pissed you're not coming. But your mind is set up, isn't it?"

Gamzee shrugged, resting the side of his head against the door frame, "Yeah. Can't be bothered doing it again. Just kinda wanna...I don't fucking know, get it over with, you know?"

Moving forward Aradia carefully ran her hand through his filthy hair and Gamzee hummed in response, "Then I'll respect your wishes- but I do wish you'd come. But since you won't, good luck in the afterlife. From what the ghosts tell me it's not that bad. Put in a good word for me. Bye bye, gachō no yagi."

He grinned at her, "Thanks, fairysis. You have fun doing time shit and showing those hemo snobs not to fuck with a God."

She laughed, bright and achingly alive before pressing a swift kiss to his forehead before flying off, the dust from her wings causing him to sneeze.

As they watched the Godtier fly away Jane said quietly, _I wish my Maid outfit was as pretty as hers. Who likes beige, anyway?_

 

* * *

 

On the day of Conscription he didn't stir from his position on his steps, not even when the air began to fill with the vibrating thrum of spaceship engines.

One side of his face was horribly burned and blistered, from the days where he remained sitting against his barely sheltered door frame and the sun seared his exposed flesh through the shade. The pain was more of a background noise now, a low dull ache that pulsed through his body in time to the erratic beats of his blood pusher. His mouth was painfully dry and his eyes felt as if they were gummed up. He was weak enough he stopped seeing Jane, instead only hearing her within his head as his psychics grew too weak to sustain an illusion anymore. It just made it more acute how alone he was, and how he was technically sitting around waiting to die while feeling like he was about to pass out from exhaustion even as starvation gnawed at his gut.

Still, his hearing worked well enough so he could easily hear the whirl of wings and the sharp _thud_ as something landed heavily in front of him.

With great effort his forced his eyes open, disorientated and confused until the blurry silhouette shifted into the unmistakable sharp-edged form of a Drone. Despite feeling more dead than alive Gamzee felt a primal fear seize his bloodpusher and his exhausted body instinctively hunched in on itself as the Drone shuffled closer, two metal buckets hanging from its spiked fists.

The Drone clicked at him, a sharp tinny noise as it thrust out its hands and shook the buckets in front of Gamzee. Despite its voice being strange and high pitched he instinctively knew what it wanted. Well, it wasn't going to get it. He didn't outwardly respond to the Drone's demands, instead resting his head against the raised steps of his hive, the skin on his face and exposed arms peeling and blistered.

Ignoring the Drone- and the obvious note of impatience that entered its clicking dialect- Gamzee slurred quietly, "I know you ain't real, but I'm pretty fuckin' happy you're here. Didn't really wanna die alone."

_Me neither. Hope to see you on the other side._

The Drone hissed, smacking him hard with one of the buckets and knocking him over. He didn't respond, instead remaining sprawled on the steps like a broken doll. If he had been paying more attention he might have noticed someone stalking along the beach, prowling along the edge of the surf off to the side but they were blocked from his sight by the spiky frame of the Drone.

As the Drone screeched loudly at Gamzee's refusal to do anything the figure looked up from studying the sea, tyrian eyes narrowing into a glare. The Drone tried once more to force Gamzee to cooperate but once it became very apparent he wasn't going to move the armoured creature clicked loudly and dropped the buckets. Without pause it flexed long, spindly claws before looming over Gamzee, unaware of the figure stalking silently up behind it.

Gamzee felt claws seize his throat in a crushing grip and then black splattered across his vision.

For one wondrous moment he thought he was dead, until he realized the black was in fact the Drone's blood. The fingers holding his throat spasmed open and Gamzee painfully struck the concrete steps again with a grunt, coughing nosily as he stared up at the Drone in confusion and now seeing the sharp end of a golden trident sticking out of the Drone's chitinous chest.

Weak and near fainting he struggled to focus on the newly dead Drone before it was suddenly kicked aside by a newcomer. He could see bright horns and pitch-black skin- an adult troll. But who? Why?

A strangled groan rose from his parched throat and he blinked blearily; everything was turning into a blur of colours as his injuries, combined with his exhaustion and starvation began to drag him into the alluring darkness of unconsciousness. Someone easily kicked the Drone's again and pried their weapon out of the Drone's still twitching corpse before the newcomer stepped right into his personal space from where he was sprawled against the stairs.

Cold webbed hands carefully ran through his dirty hair, across the burns along his face before following the loops of his symbol before withdrawing. He gave a grunt, snorting in breath as he tried to stop himself from blacking out; the scent of sea, blood and gold was thick in his nostrils and he could feel long coarse hair brush against his bare, burned arms.

He tried reaching out with his mind but his own thoughts were muddy and disorientated from starvation and undernourishment. Instead of his usual precision he could only press his mind sloppily up against the other. Whatever confused him most was how old the other mind was; ancient and alien, with a current of underlying violence and blood lust but was now alive with wonder and fascination, along with an odd sense of giddiness.

The hands returned to his face, stroking the sun-burnt skin with mocking kindness and he felt cold breath on his brow. Before Gamzee fell unconscious he saw sharp teeth and fuchsia-painted lips curving up into a broad smile.


	30. Slice of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually not the chapter detailing Gamzee's four sweeps at clown college so sorry :o( but that's mainly 'cause that chapter is already 20k and I'm not even a quarter done with it, so I'm making a few filler chapters just to let you guys know I'm not dead and still working on this thing

infiltration has been SUCCESS   
mission REPORT X89  
  
rebels unaware of turncoat within MIDST   
constant use of lowlevel psychics thwart TELEPATHY   
confirmed signless mutant is rebel leader accompanied by HEIRESS   
REPEATED   
CONFIRMED   
redblooded mutant and tyrian HEIRESS  
both under heavy guard and accompanied by winged LOWBLOODS   
female rust and male BRONZE   
REPEATED   
CONFIRMED   
redblooded mutant tyrian heiress and winged rust and BRONZE   
recommend immediate ACTION 

  


File saved as "karkat n fef" to folders "Sgrub troll mention" and "Rebellion."  


* * *

 

Euclid Yuldri head Inventerrorist; Event log -100862922- from Keltin Facility on Onus LUNAR in Utari system.  
  
Rᵊports from the latᵊst batch of aliᵊn lifᵊ forms and objᵊcts dᵊlivᵊrᵊd to ᵊxpᵊrimᵊntation facility   
  
SUBJᴲCT-10927, SUBJᴲCT-10928, SUBJᴲCT-10929, SUBJᴲCT-10930, SUBJᴲCT-10931, and SUBJᴲCT-10932  
  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10927 RᴲPORT  
  
Mainly duᵊ to SUBJᴲCT-10927 abilitiᵊs to kill instantly from any kind of skin-to-skin contact extrᵊmᵊ caution has bᵊᵊn usᵊd; thᵊsᵊ abilitiᵊs havᵊ resultᵊd in thᵊ dᵊaths of sᵊvᵊral slavᵊ mᵊmbᵊrs. Howᵊvᵊr subjᵊct was dᵊtainᵊd using psionics from controllᵊd yᵊllowbloods and telekinetically takᵊn to nᵊw cᵊll. Intᵊrᵊstingly ᵊnough thᵊ subjᵊct itsᵊlf offᵊrᵊd no hostilitiᵊs and sᵊᵊmed fairly unintᵊrᵊstᵊd in attacking thᵊ staff which makᵊs this onᵊ assumᵊ thosᵊ dᵊaths wᵊrᵊ accidᵊntal and thus instancᵊ dᵊath abilitiᵊs arᵊ passivᵊ and cannot bᵊ switchᵊd off  
Furthᵊr study of SUBJᴲCT-10927 show thᵊ crᵊaturᵊ is somᵊ hybrid of machinᵊ and flᵊsh with thᵊ lowᵊr portion of facᵊ covᵊrᵊd in living mᵊtal which warps constantly likᵊ wavᵊs  
Substancᵊ also ᵊncases thᵊ majority of SUBJᴲCT-10927's body, making thᵊ crᵊature appᵊar as if wᵊaring a largᵊ shimmᵊring coat whᵊn it is in fact somᵊ kind of armour which is alivᵊ and rᵊacts to touch. Any attᵊmpts to damagᵊ this mᵊtallic flᵊsh rᵊsults in failurᵊ duᵊ to thᵊ matᵊrial's durability and rᵊcovᵊry spᵊᵊd   
SUBJᴲCT-10927 can undᵊrstand any languagᵊ spokᵊn to it and furthᵊr scans show thᵊ crᵊature has thᵊ samᵊ mᵊntal procᵊssing powᵊr as a hᵊlmsman upon Obsᵊrvᵊr's lᵊvᵊl of tᵊchnological strᵊngth. This may bᵊ duᵊ to SUBJᴲCT-10927's hybrid naturᵊ betwᵊᵊn flᵊsh and machinᵊ which allows it to think and rᵊact bᵊyond normal mᵊans but dᵊspitᵊ this it has madᵊ no ᵊfforts to ᵊscapᵊ  
Rᵊasons for instant dᵊath from touch by SUBJᴲCT-10927 is still unknown; hands of thᵊ crᵊature arᵊ flᵊshlikᵊ and not mᵊtal and thᵊ skin of thᵊ lᵊft hand appᵊars to bᵊ in a constantly rottᵊn   
Furthᵊr ᵊxpᵊrimᵊntation and introducing of slavᵊs within SUBJᴲCT-10927's cᵊll show thᵊ crᵊature always usᵊd thᵊ lᵊft hand with thᵊ rottᵊn flᵊsh to instantly kill any and all nᵊw arrivals. Through sᵊdation SUBJᴲCT-10927 was rᵊndᵊrᵊd unconscious and pᵊrsonnᵊl still diᵊd whᵊn thᵊy madᵊ contact with SUBJᴲCT-10927's lᵊft hand. Strangᵊly ᵊnough touching any of the crᵊature's ᵊxposᵊd flᵊsh that is not madᵊ of thᵊ mᵊtallic matᵊrial causᵊd instant dᵊath rᵊgardlᵊss of SUBJᴲCT-10927's state of mind, whᵊthᵊr it is awakᵊ, sᵊdatᵊd or ᵊvᵊn awarᵊ of victim's proximity to it  
Right hand also causᵊd instant dᵊath, SUBJᴲCT-10927 simply sᵊᵊms to havᵊ a prᵊfᵊrᵊncᵊ for using thᵊ onᵊ which rᵊsᵊmblᵊs a corpsᵊ   
Furthᵊr ᵊxamination of SUBJᴲCT-10927 whilᵊ it was awakᵊ and cohᵊrᵊnt mᵊant it would intᵊract with its victims, including knᵊᵊling down nᵊxt to thᵊir dᵊad bodiᵊs and cradling thᵊm for nᵊarly an hour at a timᵊ   
SUBJᴲCT-10927 would also sing in an as-yᵊt unknown languagᵊ to thᵊ decᵊased and aftᵊr the hour pᵊriod is up thᵊ corpsᵊ would also bᵊ rᵊanimatᵊd akin to a shadow droppᵊr   
Forcibly taking dᵊad from SUBJᴲCT-10927's ᵊmbrace would causᵊ thᵊm to instantly dissolvᵊ into ash and thᵊ crᵊature would start wailing for fiftᵊᵊn minutᵊs straight bᵊforᵊ rᵊsuming its docilᵊ statᵊ as if nothing happᵊnᵊd  
Howᵊvᵊr the dᵊad would only movᵊ undᵊr SUBJᴲCT-10927's guidancᵊ and assᵊt displayᵊd ᵊxtrᵊmᵊ distrᵊss whᵊnᵊvᵊr onᵊ of its rᵊanimatᵊd corpsᵊs would bᵊ tᵊrminatᵊd, including throwing a tantrum and violᵊntly hurling a tablᵊ at thᵊ camᵊra within its cᵊll whilᵊ scrᵊaming incohᵊrᵊntly   
SUBJᴲCT-10927 procᵊᵊdᵊd to sulk for nᵊarly a fortnight aftᵊr dᵊstruction of first zombified slavᵊ and rᵊmainᵊd cold and hostilᵊ towards pᵊrsonnᵊl  
Attᵊmpts to placatᵊ assᵊt wᵊrᵊ all mᵊt with failurᵊ and SUBJᴲCT-10927 would attᵊmpt to kill any of thᵊ staff it camᵊ in contact with ᵊvᵊn whilᵊ rᵊstrainᵊd and it was only whᵊn onᵊ of thᵊ prᵊviously rᵊanimatᵊd dᵊad wᵊrᵊ givᵊn back to thᵊ crᵊature did it bᵊgin to sᵊttle down and go back to its original docilᵊ statᵊ   
Controllᵊr Knyodᵊ allowᵊd onᵊ of hᵊr ᵊnslaved psionics to diᵊ to SUBJᴲCT-10927's touch and procᵊᵊdᵊd to study thᵊ rᵊanimation procᵊss and found that thᵊ undᵊad had no thinkpan activity whatsoᵊvᵊr whᵊn thᵊy arosᵊ which furthᵊrs thᵊ thᵊory SUBJᴲCT-10927 is controlling thᵊ shadow droppᵊrs thᵊmsᵊlvᵊs rathᵊr than thᵊ corpsᵊs bᵊing thᵊir own separatᵊ ᵊntitiᵊs   
~~Attᵊmpts to ᵊngagᵊ SUBJᴲCT-10927 in convᵊrsation is always mᵊt with failurᵊ as the crᵊature itsᵊlf is mutᵊ ᵊvᵊn if it undᵊrstands words as its songs arᵊ an unknown languagᵊ that sᵊᵊms morᵊ akin to thᵊ noisᵊs a fᵊatherbᵊast makᵊs~~   
Morning of day thirtᵊᵊn of SUBJᴲCT-10927's arrival and undᵊr its daily chᵊckup SUBJᴲCT-10927 initiatᵊd spᵊᵊch with Rᵊsᵊarcher Tullia. 

 

Following transcript is shifted directly from video link and without quirks added;

  * SUBJECT-10927: *Sniffing loudly* Your entire species smells. I daresay it has been for quite some time. 
  * Researcher Tullia: I- ah, so you can speak. 
  * SUBJECT-10927: Yes, when I wish it. 
  * Researcher Tullia: Really? So tell me, why only talk now? You could've done so from the beginning.
  * SUBJECT-10927: I had no reason to. However the smell from your species is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel faint from all of it curling around me like some toxic cloud. It's why I allow myself to stay here.
  * Researcher Tullia: We smell? 
  * SUBJECT-10927: Yes.
  * Researcher Tullia: Like what?
  * SUBJECT-10927: *creature seems to consider this for a long moment for it does not answer for nearly five minutes* Death.
  * Researcher Tullia: Well, we do belong to the largest Empire reality has ever seen, so I guess our species as a whole would reek of our successful conquest across the thousands, even millions, of species we have encountered and enslaved, most likely including your own. All glory to the Empress.
  * SUBJECT-10927: It is not that, and I have no others like me.
  * SUBJECT-10927: Your species reeks of death because it will die soon.
  * Researcher Tullia: You sound akin to those worthless yellowbloods, constantly harping on about the voices of the dead. We won't die as a species; we are too ancient and powerful even if I dearsay your abilities are quite remarkable in that.
  * SUBJECT-10927: That may be, but there is potential for the death of your entire species. It has already happened twice, once through skyfire and the second through self-inflicted sacrifice. It can happen again from righteous defense.
  * Researcher Tullia: Really? And how can you tell?
  * SUBJECT-10927: I can smell death always, either imminent or potential like the wafting scent of graves. It's why I have been taking your species in here; you are dying but you just don't know it. Therefor I am saving the ones that I can, even if they do not understand the gift I can giving them.
  * Researcher Tullia: Yes I'm sure becoming braindead shadow droppers is what they always dreamed of.
  * SUBJECT-10927: Your species is ridiculous but it is as it should be and always will be. Regardless, I have smelled the death since I came to be which is not that long. Regardless, I will help you however I may-
  * Researcher Tullia: I- how did you break out of your restraints?! GUARDS!
  * Researcher Tullia died a second later after contact with SUBJECT-10927. Transcript ended.



 

Aftᵊr this incidᵊnt, SUBJᴲCT-10927 has refusᵊd to spᵊak to anyonᵊ with all furthᵊr attᵊmpts failing   
SUBJᴲCT-10927's instant kill abilitiᵊs makᵊ it an invaluablᵊ find and ᵊxpᵊrimᵊntation upon thᵊ crᵊaturᵊ is continuing at a satisfactory pacᵊ. Will sᵊnd individual rᵊport of progrᵊss soon aftᵊr furthᵊr studiᵊs  


SUBJᴲCT-10928 RᴲPORT  
  
This creaturᵊ is far morᵊ docilᵊ and ᵊasy to managᵊ, rᵊsᵊmbling a fluffy bright pink hopbᵊast, with large poofs of light pink fur on its tail and hᵊad   
Obsᵊrvational studiᵊs rᵊvealᵊd SUBJᴲCT-10928 doᵊs not possᵊss a normal mouth; instᵊad thᵊ pads on its palms curl opᵊn to rᵊvᵊal two mouths. SUBJᴲCT-10928 insists it fᵊᵊds on bᵊrriᵊs and othᵊr fruits and it's not carnivorous. Bᵊcomᵊs distraught if mᵊat is introducᵊd to its diᵊt and will refusᵊ to ᵊat   
SUBJᴲCT-10928 usᵊs tᵊlᵊpathy as main sourcᵊ of communication duᵊ to lack of vocal cords in its hand-mouths- ᵊxpᵊrimᵊntation provᵊd SUBJᴲCT-10928 doᵊs not possᵊss any kind of mind control or tᵊlᵊkinᵊsis abilitiᵊs   
Tᵊsting rᵊvᵊalᵊd an acutᵊ sᵊnsᵊ of smᵊll and hᵊaring and SUBJᴲCT-10928 itsᵊlf is a fairly coopᵊrativᵊ- if not rudᵊ -assᵊt  
Howᵊvᵊr it is obvious thᵊ crᵊaturᵊ has no rᵊal outstanding qualitiᵊs to spᵊak of, as it lacks claws, tᵊᵊth, sizᵊ or any kind of mᵊntal prowᵊss and sᵊᵊms to rᵊly on spᵊᵊd and smallnᵊss to ᵊscapᵊ prᵊdators which sᵊᵊm to bᵊ nᵊarly ᵊvᵊrything largᵊr than itsᵊlf   
Duᵊ to thᵊ crᵊature's fairly worthlᵊss naturᵊ as a study objᵊct, Controllᵊr Knyodᵊ has rᵊquᵊstᵊd to kᵊᵊp SUBJᴲCT-10928 as a pᵊt which has bᵊᵊn grantᵊd and a rᵊport latᵊr in the wᵊᵊk assurᵊs thᵊ crᵊature has not madᵊ any ᵊfforts to kill hᵊr bᵊyond bᵊing snidᵊ and occasional disobᵊdiᵊncᵊ, along with shᵊdding largᵊ amounts of hair upon hᵊr furniturᵊ  
  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10929 RᴲPORT  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10929 rᵊsᵊmblᵊs a pitch black two whᵊᵊlᵊd dᵊvice that sings constantly and for somᵊ rᵊason anyonᵊ who physically touchᵊs it has thᵊ ovᵊrwhᵊlming urgᵊ to gᵊt on it and ridᵊ   
Howᵊvᵊr as soon as somᵊonᵊ fits thᵊir hands on thᵊ handlᵊbars and fᵊᵊt on thᵊ pᵊdals thᵊy vanish complᵊtᵊly from sight lᵊaving only SUBJᴲCT-10929 bᵊhind. Using tᵊlᵊpathy and hᵊat-sᵊᵊkᵊrs to scan thᵊ room rᵊvᵊal thᵊ slavᵊs litᵊrally vanishᵊd from ᵊxistᵊncᵊ as far as anyonᵊ can tᵊll   
Furthᵊr ᵊxpᵊrimᵊntation havᵊ revᵊalᵊd that in tᵊrms of physical body SUBJᴲCT-10929 appᵊars as a typical two whᵊᵊld dᵊvicᵊ with no dᵊtᵊctablᵊ tᵊlᵊpathic wavᵊs sounding from it. Dᵊspitᵊ this two morᵊ slavᵊs wᵊrᵊ lost whᵊn they madᵊ physical contact and disappᵊarᵊd duᵊ to the ovᵊrwhelming urgᵊ to ridᵊ the two whᵊᵊled dᵊvicᵊ   
ᵊvᵊn using controllᵊd psionics it madᵊ no diffᵊrᵊnce as thᵊy simply frozᵊ in placᵊ whᵊn touching SUBJᴲCT-10929 and thᵊy had to bᵊ forcibly rᵊmovᵊd as Controllᵊr Knyodᵊ couldn't ovᵊrridᵊ whatᵊvᵊr urgᵊs the subjᵊct was transmitting to thᵊm and all shᵊ could do was halt thᵊm from doing furthᵊr movᵊmᵊnts yᵊt couldn't makᵊ thᵊm dᵊtach thᵊmsᵊlvᵊs from thᵊ objᵊct   
Thᵊ sourcᵊ of thᵊ singing is unknown howᵊvᵊr ᵊxposurᵊ ᵊxperimᵊnting has shown anyonᵊ can bᵊ in prolonged ᵊarshot of thᵊ song for days on ᵊnd and not bᵊ nᵊgativᵊly affᵊctᵊd; only physical contact with SUBJᴲCT-10929 will causᵊ the mind control ᵊvᵊn if it is from a yᵊt unknown psychic lᵊvᵊl   
Closᵊ up studiᵊs of thᵊ two whᵊᵊled dᵊvice's paint shows a symbol betwᵊᵊn the handlᵊ bars; it looks akin to a tiny stylizᵊd vortᵊx of somᵊ sorts. This onᵊ has ran that through thᵊ data basᵊ of symbols yᵊt it matchᵊs nonᵊ the ᵊmpirᵊ has ᵊvᵊr comᵊ in contact with  
SUBJᴲCT-10929 is also capablᵊ of moving on its own, howᵊvᵊr it only ᵊvᵊr doᵊs this whᵊn it is not bᵊing lookᵊd at. In onᵊ instancᵊ it waitᵊd for a rᵊsᵊarcher to turn thᵊir back on it and whᵊn thᵊy turnᵊd around SUBJᴲCT-10929 was only inchᵊs away from thᵊm whᵊn originally it was on the othᵊr sidᵊ of thᵊ room. Thᵊorizᵊd that SUBJᴲCT-10929 was attᵊmpting to trick thᵊ rᵊsᵊarcher into touching it by accidᵊnt whᵊn thᵊy turnᵊd around. Howᵊvᵊr this provᵊs SUBJᴲCT-10929 is awarᵊ- or at lᵊast capablᵊ of moving -and sᵊᵊms intᵊnt on trapping pᵊoplᵊ whᵊrᵊ ᵊvᵊr it sᵊnds thᵊm ᵊithᵊr by outsidᵊ influᵊncᵊ or on its own  
It is still yᵊt unknown whᵊrᵊ thᵊ victims arᵊ tᵊlᵊportᵊd as ᵊvᵊn fixing slavᵊs up with numᵊrous listᵊning dᵊvicᵊs and camᵊras as soon as thᵊy vanish all of thᵊsᵊ arᵊ disconnᵊctᵊd and only whitᵊ noisᵊ can bᵊ hᵊard. Also thᵊ victims hᵊartbeats flatlinᵊ instantly so it is prᵊsumed thᵊy arᵊ killᵊd upon arrivᵊ to thᵊ dᵊstination thᵊ two whᵊᵊlᵊd dᵊvicᵊ is sᵊnding thᵊm   
Furthᵊr study nᵊᵊdᵊd   
  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10930 RᴲPORT  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10930 has to bᵊ kᵊpt in a high maintᵊnancᵊ cell duᵊ to aggrᵊssivᵊ and violᵊnt bᵊhaviour, including killing sᵊvᵊral of thᵊ staff and injuring fourtᵊᵊn othᵊrs   
Whilᵊ SUBJᴲCT-10930 is capablᵊ of undᵊrstanding staff it prᵊfᵊrs to spᵊnd most of its timᵊ shouting obscᵊnitiᵊs and gᵊnᵊral insults and ᵊvᵊn occasionally writᵊs such words on thᵊ walls of its cᵊlls in its own blood during its many, many tantrums   
Dᵊspitᵊ bᵊing barᵊly tallᵊr than an adolᵊscᵊnt troll not yᵊt through thᵊir adult molt, SUBJᴲCT-10930 is fairly strong and tᵊnacious. Dᵊspite having ᵊxtrᵊmᵊ skill with ᵊdged wᵊapons SUBJᴲCT-10930 is still capablᵊ of killing staff with its barᵊ tᵊᵊth, which are long and sᵊrratᵊd. It is also capablᵊ of quickly growing back nᵊw onᵊs within hours and sᵊᵊms to ᵊnjoy spitting blood at anyonᵊ in proximity and complaining loudly- and oftᵊn -about thᵊ room servicᵊ   
SUBJᴲCT-10930 sᵊᵊms to havᵊ a dᵊnsᵊ black chitinous shᵊll for skin which doᵊs makᵊ it fairly durablᵊ and ablᵊ to withstand hard impacts and stabbings without too much issuᵊ howᵊvᵊr it is vulnᵊrablᵊ to firᵊ and psionics. Anothᵊr thing is that SUBJᴲCT-10930 sᵊᵊms grᵊatly attractᵊd to knivᵊs for some rᵊason and will attᵊmpt to stᵊal any whᵊnᵊver it has the opportunity. Sᵊarching it beforᵊ and aftᵊr lᵊaving its daily chᵊckup is mandatory as SUBJᴲCT-10930 is fairly adᵊpt at hiding bladᵊs on its pᵊrson until it snᵊak attacks   
Dᵊspite its short statuᵊ SUBJᴲCT-10930 is rᵊmarkably adᵊpt at finding the wᵊaknᵊssᵊs and tᵊnds to likᵊ inflicting damagᵊ upon thᵊ gandᵊr bulbs and thᵊ shᵊᵊr ragᵊ thᵊ small crᵊaturᵊ can ᵊxpress makᵊs it quitᵊ ᵊfficiᵊnt in surprising staff mᵊmbᵊrs thᵊrᵊfore cautious is rᵊcommᵊndᵊd whᵊn dᵊaling with it   
Many attᵊmpts to communicatᵊ with SUBJᴲCT-10930 usually ᵊnds in failurᵊ duᵊ to its habit of scrᵊaming and profanity riddᵊn rants. Howᵊvᵊr through carᵊful listᵊning SUBJᴲCT-10930 apparᵊntly claims to havᵊ killᵊd gods beforᵊ and blown up planeᵊts and many trolls which could bᵊ thᵊ sourcᵊ of thᵊ subjᵊct's irᵊ. Furthᵊr quᵊstioning got thᵊ rᵊsᵊarchᵊr sworn at but SUBJᴲCT-10930 ᵊvᵊntually sᵊttlᵊd down mildly and bᵊgan to rant about somᵊonᵊ ruining ᵊvᵊrything and thᵊn ᵊxploding, dying, thᵊn subsᵊquᵊntly bᵊing banishᵊd since thᵊrᵊ wᵊrᵊ too many of itsᵊlf around   
Furthᵊr quᵊstioning of thᵊ claim that it has duplicatᵊs rᵊsultᵊd in a volatilᵊ tantrum and thrᵊᵊ dᵊad staff mᵊmbᵊrs with SUBJᴲCT-10930 raging latᵊr in its cᵊll that lifᵊ was 'fucking unfair' and how it would kill ᵊvᵊryone whᵊn it found its ring   
This onᵊ is unsurᵊ if SUBJᴲCT-10930 was rᵊfᵊrring to SUBJᴲCT-743 and SUBJᴲCT-66 which arᵊ two aliᵊn rings within thᵊ facilitiᵊs yᵊt nᵊither ring causᵊs such bᵊhaviour SUBJᴲCT-10930 dᵊscribᵊd- SUBJᴲCT-743 causᵊs the wᵊarᵊr to becomᵊ immunᵊ to disᵊasᵊ whilᵊ aging tᵊn timᵊs fastᵊr and SUBJᴲCT-66 causᵊs thᵊ wᵊarer to switch gᵊnder   
Furthᵊr study of SUBJᴲCT-10930 is nᵊᵊdᵊd and hopᵊfully morᵊ information within thᵊ crᵊaturᵊs inanᵊ rantings will bᵊ discovᵊrᵊd   
  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10931 RᴲPORT  
  
Unlikᵊ thᵊ othᵊr subjᵊcts brought in SUBJᴲCT-10931 appᵊars nothing morᵊ than an old shᵊᵊt of unknown matᵊrial that has badly writtᵊn poᵊms appᵊar   
Apparᵊntly thᵊsᵊ poᵊms show up ᵊvᵊry six hours and whᵊn a nᵊw onᵊ is implemᵊnted it ᵊrasᵊs thᵊ original and thᵊ nᵊw onᵊ appᵊars  
Howᵊvᵊr flipping SUBJᴲCT-10931 ovᵊr will causᵊ it to loudly scrᵊam continuously until it is turnᵊd back ovᵊr onto its othᵊr sidᵊ. It is unknown why it becomᵊs so upsᵊt whᵊn this happᵊnᵊd and trying to writᵊ on SUBJᴲCT-10931 to ask is mᵊt with failurᵊ duᵊ to thᵊ inability to writᵊ on its surfacᵊ   
SUBJᴲCT-10931 has ᵊxhibitᵊd no violᵊnt or hostilᵊ tᵊndᵊncies bᵊyond scrᵊaming whᵊn flippᵊd ovᵊr and evᵊn whᵊn it was turnᵊd back around it continuᵊd to writᵊ bad poᵊtry without any commᵊnt on thᵊ ᵊarliᵊr scᵊnario and apparᵊntly holds no grudgᵊ ovᵊr thᵊ incidᵊnt   
  
  
SUBJᴲCT-10932 RᴲPORT  
  
Thᵊ final SUBJᴲCT-10932 from thᵊ shipmᵊnt is docilᵊ in naturᵊ, if not fairly nᵊrvous and usᵊlᵊss as a rᵊsᵊarch subjᵊct   
Whilᵊ it rᵊsᵊmblᵊs a small, dragonᵊsquᵊ crᵊaturᵊ, with a long snout, scalᵊd body, claws and tᵊᵊth with bulbous ᵊyᵊs thᵊ crᵊaturᵊ is only a fᵊw fᵊᵊt tall and is vᵊry panicky and frightᵊnᵊd so it spᵊnds most of its timᵊ trying to hidᵊ or simply stands frozᵊn in fᵊar   
Despitᵊ SUBJᴲCT-10932's firᵊ colourᵊd hidᵊ and hᵊat rᵊsistancᵊ thᵊ crᵊature shows no ability to brᵊath flamᵊ and ᵊvᵊn its bitᵊ if fairly wᵊak   
It also has two lᵊgs, its hind lᵊgs, mᵊaning it falls over ᵊasily and cannot run up stairs propᵊrly whilᵊ having to rᵊly hᵊavily on its tail for balancᵊ. If that is comprisᵊd thᵊ crᵊaturᵊ cannot ᵊvᵊn walk corrᵊctly   
SUBJᴲCT-10932 sᵊᵊms to undᵊrstand spᵊᵊch, but cannot communicatᵊ back and instᵊad makᵊs loud sharp noisᵊ with its jaws in rᵊsponse ᵊvᵊn if it sᵊᵊms to comprᵊhᵊnd commands. Study shows it lacks thᵊ appropriatᵊ vocal cords but it doᵊsn't ᵊxplain how quickly it grasps languagᵊ sincᵊ it has a fairly low intᵊlligᵊncᵊ and vᵊry poor problᵊm solving skills   
Furthᵊr tᵊsting provᵊs no spᵊcial abilitiᵊs at all and no high lᵊvᵊl durability, not ᵊvᵊn latᵊnt tᵊlᵊpathy or powᵊrs. Howᵊvᵊr during a chᵊckup SUBJᴲCT-10932 ᵊxhibitᵊd grᵊat intᵊrᵊst in thᵊ rᵊsᵊarchᵊr's sunglassᵊs and ᵊxhibitᵊd grᵊat joy in bᵊing allowᵊd to wᵊar thᵊm for a fᵊw minutes   
Controllᵊr Knyodᵊ has likᵊwisᵊ offᵊrᵊd to adopt SUBJᴲCT-10932 as she did for SUBJᴲCT-10928 and likᵊ beforᵊ such rᵊquᵊst was grantᵊd. Controllᵊr Knyodᵊ reportᵊd a wᵊᵊk latᵊr that SUBJᴲCT-10932 ᵊxhibitᵊd no violᵊnt tᵊndᵊnciᵊs and is morᵊ wᵊll bᵊhavᵊd than SUBJᴲCT-10928   
  
  
Signed off by Euclid Yuldri who is overseer of productions and experimentation on Keltin Facility on Onus LUNAR in Utari system.  
  
  
File saved as "evil science" to folders "Empire slave trade" and "Non-troll aliens" 

* * *

 

ArgateMaximillion [AM] has sent HiddenChartreuse [HC] a message!  
AM: Hey  
AM: You answer me right this FUCKING moment  
AM: What the actual shit is going on with you??? First you start skipping out on your duties then those rumours of you acting all stupid over that useless sack of shit back in office and now this????  
AM: How dare you  
AM: How  
AM: Fucking  
AM: DARE  
AM: you  
AM: After EVERYTHING I've sacrificed for you, you turn out and act like this craven whore who has no alliance to his own and instead flinging out loyalty like they're party favours for some dirty lowbred shindig and how this???   
AM: You couldn't even face those rumours, instead you ran off like some thinkpan fucked wiggler and naturally blamed all of it on your so-called work ethic, like spare me you have zero work ethics and you know it  
AM: Instead these filthy rumours about you blowing off the inspection to go to one of those scuttlebeast seminars???  
AM: I know EXACTLY what they are and how dare you do such a thing??? After all I've done for your midblood ass and you still turn around and act so monumentally stupid I can't even understand how you crawled out of the spawning caverns because your decision is so daft!!!!  
AM: I have CONTINUOUSLY put my reputation on the line for you and how do I get repaid??? By shit like this!  
AM: No wonder you lot have always been cast as civil servants yet I guess that occupation proved too much even for you so you turned out and pretty much spat in my face so thanks for that!  
AM: You UNGRATEFUL little bitch  
  
HiddenChartreuse [HC] has sent ArgateMaximillion [AM] a reply!  
  
TC: GET FUCKED!!!!!!   
  
HiddenChartreuse [HC has BLOCKED ArgateMaximillion [AM]  
  


File saved as "blueblood racist" to folder "Scuttlebeast mention".  


  


* * *

 

GildedRhapsody [GR] has begun trolling YumiLuna [YL]  
  
GR: HOLY SHIT IT JUST BLEW UP A FUCKIN PLANET!!! :OOOOOO  
GR: IM FUCKIN WATCHIN IT ONNA CAMERA FEEDS AND IT BLEW IT UP!  
GR: OH WOW I AM FUCKED FOR A JOB NOW LOLOLOL  
GR: I DUNNO WHAT THIS THING IS BUT WOW IT IS PISSSSSSED!  
GR: YOU BETTER HAVE ALL UR SHIT WRAPPED UP CAUSE ITS HEADED UR WAY!  
GR: ALSO IT FUCKED ALL OUR COMS HERE LIKE THEY JUST EXPLODED I DUNNO WTF HAPPENED WOW SHIT WHAT A MESS!!!  
GR: MAYBE ITS THAT SPACESHIP FROM THAT WORLD WE CULLED BEFORE YOU KNOW THE ONE W THE WEIRD BARKBEAST PPL????  
GR: BUT FUCK THE FUCKIN PLANETT!!!!! :OOOOOOO  
GR: OH SHIT ITS STILL GOING SO I GOTTA RUN AND FOLLOW BUT WOW FUCK GET UR FISH ASS IN GEAR!!!  


GildedRhapsody [GR] has ceased trolling YumiLuna [YL]  
  
  
File saved as "galactus" to folder "Non-troll aliens".  
  
  


* * *

   
INCIDENT REPORT of break-out and outing of rebel and/or sympathizers TEREZI PYROPE and EQUIUS ZAHHAK  


  Interviewer Opalli Wullna  transcribes the following recording; quirks acquitted for easier reading.  
Legislacerator Poeila Huaxni remained to give account and background sweep confirms he has zero connection to the rebellion and was in fact injured during the break out.  
Interviewer Wullna: Can you please begin from the start? Why did you originally detain this, Equius Zahhak is it?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Well, we got sent a message from Zhanna Cuffes-  
Interviewer Wullna: The Overseer's Descendant?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yes, him. That's why we processed his complaint quicker, since he holds an important rank and generally knows what he's on about. Even so, his message wasn't urgent, it's just he'd noticed some warning signs in his interactions with Zahhak.   
Interviewer Wullna: Like what? Did he describe them to you in detail?   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Just little things- like how his attitude changed when Cuffes' mentioned his profession. You know what those rebels are like with slavery. But anyway, Cuffes felt a bit embarrassed when I asked him directly since he was worried he'd be seen as paranoid, but better paranoid then dead or ignoring a traitor, amirite?  
Interviewer Wullna: But Cuffes' fears were well founded, weren't they?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Well we didn't really notice at first, as we just went and detained Zahhak on suspicion of being a rebel and due to his bloodcaste he got some more leniency. When we brought him in he was polite, if not distant- he answered all our questions calmly even if he lied through his teeth about it. He's got good control of his facial muscles I'll admit.   
Interviewer Wullna: What kind of questions did you ask him?   
Legislacerator Huaxni: The usual; do you have any quadrants, how often do you associate with lowbloods, how do you feel about the Condesce, about slavery, about the Empire in general. We started off slow since if he really was a rebel we could torture him for information and making him lash out and thus force it out of him.  
Interviewer Wullna: So he exhibited no hostilities towards you during the interrogation at all?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Nope, just answered all my questions while sitting there politely. Even when Pyrope showed up I didn't think twice of it- it isn't unusual to have a fellow Legislacerator in the room and Miss Pyrope did always have an uncanny vibe about her, like she knew exactly what was going on with you.   
Interviewer Wullna: Was she a telepath?   
Legislacerator Huaxni: No. A psychic did try reading her and got a massive headache from it; I think maybe she was like Eureka, had some passive psychics going on that prevent her from being mentally read. However she had examplary field work so no one ever really thought she'd be a turn coat.  
Interviewer Wullna: You sound angry.  
Legislacerator Huaxni: I _am_ angry. We got Legislacerator at the same time and spent nearly two sweeps working together, and that bitch turned out to be a traitor. How do you think I feel?   
Interviewer Wullna: My apologies; did you notice anything unusual when Pyrope entered the room and Zahhak saw her?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: No; Zahhak didn't even blink when she came in. He just acted as calm as could be. It's weird, you usually only get that kind of poise when you age, you know? Like the Overseer, he's a blueblood and a half.   
Interviewer Wullna: So there was no indication those two knew each other?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: No- I think that may have been our own fault to an extent, since many of us didn't connect the dot until after everything went to shit.   
Interviewer Wullna: Such as?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: They both knew the Grand Highblood.   
Interviewer Wullna: You are of course referring to the newly elected Grand Highblood?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yes, that beautiful giant of a clown. He's something to look at isn't he? But I think that came out wrong; you see, the Grand Highblood greeted Pyrope when he met her here. Or at least the Legislacerator main courthive, whatever.   
Interviewer Wullna: Elaborate.  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Well it wasn't really a greeting; if anything the Grand Highblood seemed fairly mocking and Pyrope came across as embarrassed more than anything. I think it had something to do with their wigglerhood, since I overheard him mention something about it so I believe they knew each other back while on Alternia. Later I heard rumours the Grand Highblood likewise knew Zahhak back then and spoke to him. Neither Pyrope or Zahhak seemed pleased by the Grand Highblood's appearance, so it could've meant they were afraid he'd pick up if they were potential rebels.   
Interviewer Wullna: Because of their shared wigglerhood?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yeah, like you're at your worst and open as a wiggler you know?   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Luckily for them the Grand Highblood had bigger things to fry so he only spent a few minutes with them before he left.   
Interviewer Wullna: Did either Pyrope or Zahhak make mention of him while they were talking with each other?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: No. It also ran like an interrogation and Zahhak kept the same polite front up as he did towards me.   
Interviewer Wullna: So what spurred the entire escape? What made Pyrope lash out and let Zahhak free?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: I mentioned Re-Education.   
Interviewer Wullna: And that's what caused it?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: I believe so- because that's actually what we planned to do. While Zahhak's bloodcaste meant he wouldn't get culled right away from a rumour, there were notes on his file since Conscription of him being...how you say, less Empire embracing then per typical his caste. Anyway, he wasn't going to be scrubbed in the Re-Education, it was just going to be an exam.   
Interviewer Wullna: But even that suggestion causes Pyrope to attack?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yeah. I admit, she kicked my ass at first; only my reflexes stopped her from gutting me right then and there and even then she managed to knock the wind out of me enough to give her enough time to let Zahhak out of his restraints.   
Interviewer Wullna: Just like that?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yup, all I did was mention a scrub as a threat and she attacked. I think even Zahhak was caught off guard by it, but he immediately when along so you could tell he did actually know and trusted her to an extent.   
Interviewer Wullna: What happened next?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: I recovered and attacked her back and we fought; by then the other two Legislacerators came into the interrogation room and surrounded Zahhak. He's big, one of the biggest bluebloods I've seen so I understood how they prioritized him over her.   
Interviewer Wullna: What caused him to attack you?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: I cut Pyrope's throat.   
Interviewer Wullna: And that turned Zahhak hostile?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yeah. It's because of him she got injured; she kept on turning her head towards him during the fight, like she was making sure he was okay. Since she's blind I figured she had to put in more effort, especially considering the blood everywhere. So I waited until she did it, until her concern towards him make her shifted, just that much, towards where he was being threatened.   
Interviewer Wullna: And you cut her throat?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yeah, from ear-to-ear.   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Unluckily enough I wasn't close enough to decapitate her outright; I was actually far away enough my axe only sliced open the flesh, not into the thick skin of her protein chute or she would've died in seconds. Even so it was bad enough she'd be dead fairly soon without help and for a traitor she wasn't gonna get it.  
Interviewer Wullna: So Pyrope's grievous injury caused Zahhak to attack?   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Until then I think he was playing it by the ear- you know, maybe this was their plan? Pyrope kills me and escapes with him, but that went to shit when she couldn't kill me right away. So Zahhak got held up but I would wager that was a backup plan; by not engaging in the fight he was kinda showing his innocence, you know? Pyrope could've escaped and he would've been cleared to carry on being a rebel plant.   
Interviewer Wullna: But then you gave her a life threatening injury so thus he intervened.  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yup. Smashed those other two on their asses with a few punches then hurled me straight into the wall. Nearly knocked me out, if it wasn't for my horns.   
Interviewer Wullna: So how did they escape?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: That's the weirdest fucking thing; like I was dazed against the wall but I could see him hurry over to Pyrope and heft her up in his arms. Then he just...   
Interviewer Wullna: Just what?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: He just _vanished._   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Like he'd...like he'd just turned invisible too.   
Legislacerator Huaxni: When we got up we combed the courthive, we searched everywhere and let out an alert outing the two as traitors. But they were never found and that's why- because he could fucking turn _invisible._ How's that for a joke?   
Interviewer Wullna: A mutation?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Has to be. From what I hear the rebellion is full of the filthy things.   
Interviewer Wullna: Do you think Pyrope died from her injuries?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Personally I so hope she did, the backstabbing bitch. But in my gut...nah, I don't think so. She'll be back and on the side of that disease blooded thing the rebels have as a leader and now they've also got a blueblood who can up and vanish like a fart in the wind. Like what the fuck was that all about? Nothing whatso ever in his files about that.   
Legislacerator Huaxni: I've seen some weird shit but that really took the cake. I have no idea why he didn't just do that from the getgo.   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Most likely another fucking backup plan I guess, eurgh. Gotta have spies I guess. But Pyrope getting sliced open ruined it so he had to haul ass.   
Interviewer Wullna: Any quadrants?  
Legislacerator Huaxni: We looked, but no such luck. A pity or we could've tortured them for information.   
Legislacerator Huaxni: Whatever, the Empire will hunt them down soon enough and hang the lot of them.   
Interviewer Wullna: I see. Thank you for your cooperation.  
Legislacerator Huaxni: No worries. We also have video surveillance I'll send over to you.   
Interviewer Wullna: Again, thank you. We shall send this information to numerous parties just so they have an idea of what they're dealing with.  
Legislacerator Huaxni: Yeah not a problem. I better get back to the courthive.   
Interviewer Wullna: Of course.  
  
End of INCIDENT REPORT. For more theories and sightings of Zahhak's apparent mutation please see further speculations and investigations in Legislacerator files LET THE HUNT BEGIN.  
  
File saved as "the great escape" to folder "Rebellion" and "Sgrub troll mention".  



	31. Cat and crab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm gonna just stop apologizing for not getting that clown chapter done because that is gonna be finished when it is bloody-well finished. Anyway, have some SBURB troll interactions! Since Jane's story is kinda stagnant until I finish Gamzee's one which is just being a beast.
> 
> This chapter was partially inspired by my conversation with [vocaloidsweetie](http://vocaloidsweetie.tumblr.com/), since they're a KatNep fan and it got to me kill two birds with one stones aka show the SGRUB trolls some more and expand on just how much Nepeta has changed. Of course Nep is too screwed to really react properly but Karkat tries.
> 
> Also LOOK FANART :DDDDD ==> [HERE](http://mesmiraculouslymirthful.tumblr.com/post/141001895983/swimmingferret-here-is-a-gift-for-you-o-heres) Abutor is so pretty????? Look at that glorious douchebag

The hand was made from shining silver metal, so sleek and expertly made it moved as fluidly as a real limb. The fingers bent with the same ease of flesh, the wrist joint rotating as easily as real bone and blood. The sensors on the palm and pads of the fingers mimicked real sensation and the metal was as warm, matched exactly with the same heat of his blood colour. Equius had, quite frankly, done a wondrous job on it.

Karkat frowned, staring at his prosthetic left hand. The blueblood had offered to cover the gleaming silver metal with a skin-like mimic but he declined; for some reason he didn't mind the gleaming metal now. He'd grown used to it.

Originally he thought it a pity his hand didn't grow back. If he wasn't a mutant it would've regrown when he went through his adult molt but instead his genetics were too eager to jam him through pupation, making him molt before even Aradia and finishing it within two days which was an unheard rush. Even with rusts it took them near a week and Karkat paid for his frantic mutation molt by being undersized and lacking a new hand. At least Equius was with them so he could just build him a new one but it was another nuisance he could've done without. He'd accepted it, but it still took him quite a few sweeps to come to terms with it and now he grudgingly liked it.

He looked over at their pile; Feferi was sprawled across it fast asleep, mouth open slightly so he could see the glint of fangs, with her hundreds of braids spread around her like a mass of black seaweed. At least braiding Feferi's hair had been a good way to re-orientate himself with his new limb even if the first few times he got the hair jammed in the joints or messed it up. At least she didn't mind.

For a long moment he watched the rise and fall of his moirail's chest, the small frilly gills on her throat flaring slightly with each breath. Karkat felt a deep ache in his chest and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the pile and fall asleep on top her but he resisted the urge. His previous actions probably did has some impact on the rest of their crew and Feferi needed her rest, especially since he decided to just go to their room and sulk. A part of Karkat did enjoy wallowing in misery but he knew if Feferi caught him doing it again after such a short time since their last feelings jam she'd clout him over the head.

Silently Karkat snuck from the room, his crimson-tinted black armour barely making a sound. The rest of the ship was just as quiet, the upper quarters deserted as he walked down the hallway. The low hum of the ship was a soothing background noise and Karkat was barely more than a ghost winding the winding corridors. He knew the rest of his team were lurking somewhere on board as none were off on missions, but he didn't mind the solitude. It was a cold comfort and security.

He felt so helpless at times. Even back in that awful Game there was always a chance. When the first troll session was ruined through their own stupidity there was the bomb. When their next session was ruined through their own stupidity there was the humans. When the humans session was ruined due to the trolls continual stupidity there was the Alpha human session. 

Shutting his eyes Karkat tried not to think back to John's harsh words in their first reunion after five sweeps but despite his efforts they squirmed through like insidious blue lines of accusation. The human had a point he was reluctant to accept- it seems all the trolls were was a plague on humanity, just a curse that wouldn't leave even after the humans clawed a new life from the dying grasp of the Game. Instead they screwed around and took the cautious route and the humans paid the price. As usual.

 _When did everything once again turn into a massive bulge-twisting clusterfuck,_ he thought bitterly. Probably as soon as they were hatched, actually, considering how that awful Game worked. They _tried_ but Karkat had been around long enough to know trying means fuck all at the end of the day, especially in the Alternian Empire. They were trying to kill the Condesce but it was so hard to get near her with the Empire between her and Feferi. They needed a strategy that would work one hundred percent. If Feferi died and the Condesce was undefeated they would've lost their chance and Karkat had little doubt John's threat about killing the Empress wasn't a bluff. 

Not to mention that completely unpleasant revelation about that other human, Jane, and her involvement with Gamzee. Honestly Karkat should've paid more attention to it but after SGRUB his thinkpan was half-broken from the sheer press of memories, Kankri's fusion with him causing him to gain the Seer of Blood abilities and making all his thousands of deaths, failures, and abject misery appear in his memory in absolute clarity.

At least that fusion meant he had a better understand of their strange memory fusion with their Dancestor selves and thousand of Doomed selves than others; Terezi also understood and they'd had more than a few discussions about it. But their dominant memories of the timeline they completed SGRUB in always remained the strongest and for the other memories they would typically stay dormant unless sufficiently triggered by something; usually a story, or an image, or even just a word which would force all the suppressed memories of Doomed timelines to bubble up. The violent vertigo of the conflicting memories could easily cause panic attacks and long sessions of self doubt and confusion.

Because of that Karkat had been mostly mad when SGRUB was over, being plagued with thousands of memories that conflicted violently with his dominant ones. At least he knew from Terezi she dealt with it far better- he guessed it was from her aspect but it that was up in the air since that ridiculous Game never gave them instruction manuals. As time progressed Karkat also found out that tasting the blood of others would give him a vivid flash of their most recent memories. Unfortunately that happened when he bit the throat of out an attacking cobalt and he got struck hard by the final seconds before the cerulean died. It had been unpleasant.

But regardless his mental instability following the end of the Game caused him to behave erratically and that climaxed in him loosing a hand and Kanaya loosing her horn to Gamzee. 

_Damn clown,_ the thought was without malice however. In honesty, he was equal parts baffled and curious as to just _how_ Gamzee actually ended up with the human and not just from the potential timeline shenanigans involved. He knew enough from Kanaya that wooing a human took a ridiculous amount of time with the aliens seemingly having a weird courtship dance of a mixture of quadrants before finalizing things. How a bumbling socially-inept subjugglator of all things managed to get in a quadrant with one was nearly unbelievable but John was absolutely convinced it was true and Karkat had no reason to doubt him considering the other humans hostile reactions.

He was also quite positive Aradia knew about that cross-species romance but the wily witch had a habit of keeping things to herself unless it was immensely important. Trying to press her for answers was like trying to wrangle a conversation out of a dirtnoodle. She'd gotten far more mischievous and gleeful since fusing with Damara. Then again his memories of her before was when she was dead and metal, so Karkat couldn't really judge on how much she potentially changed.

Abruptly Karkat stopped walking, realizing he'd ended up in the doorway of the observation deck. The room was empty apart from a familiar figure sitting on the middle bench looking out the thick window to the sparkling expanse of space. Nepeta's outline was painfully tense in the lighting, her long blue tail lying limp on the ground and the metal of her gauntlets being painted silver from the gleam of the stars.

For a long while Karkat just gazed mutely at her, unsure if he should leave, before Nepeta spoke, "You can come in." 

Tentatively he entered the room, taking a seat on the bench next to her while making sure he wasn't within arms reach. Despite his caution Nepeta tensed up and he swallowed back his offense, simply giving her a soft greeting which wasn't returned.

Her face used to be open and smiling; now it was closed off and her mouth a thin line, long fangs digging into her lower lip. Her green eyes were cold where they were once warm and her stance was defensive, as if she was watching a potential enemy.

The curly hair around her right temple still hadn't grown back, leaving all the thick scars along her scalp highly visible on her black skin. More scarring littered her face, the most prominent slashed across the bridge of her nose. Karkat knew even worse scars were under her clothing, having caught a glimpse of Nepeta's horrible emaciated and wounded body after they rescued her from the slave pens before Feferi threw him out of the medical block and locking herself up inside with her new patient. It took nearly two weeks before Nepeta stabilized and even then she flew into a panicked fury every time she briefly gained consciousness during that period. Eventually Feferi was forced to allow Equius to sit by his moirail's side nearly every hour to help settle her down whenever she did wake. Even after Feferi deemed her healthy and released her from the medical bay Nepeta was never the same.

Nepeta had been broken in some way and Karkat once again cursed the fact they still hadn't managed to kill the one responsive for breaking her, the Overseer. The slaver nearly killed them when they went to save Nepeta, the blueblood even stronger than Equius and horrendously fast. If it wasn't for Aradia they would've all died, but it was a sobering prospect to know there were non-SGRUB trolls who could go toe-to-toe with a Godtier and nearly win.

Karkat blinked, eyeing the Rogue who stared blankly back at him. She never initiated conversations now, usually only uttering a few words before stopping and falling silent. Swallowing thickly, Karkat asked as gently as he was able, "So ah, how you been?"

"Fine."

"Huh, not me," Karkat tried to joke, "I keep on getting corned by Aradia and she tried roping me into that ridiculous shit about time not existing that tend to make my fucking thinkpan melt while trying to find excused on how to get the hivefuck out of there before it does."

"That's fine."

 _Well, that totally fucking failed,_ Karkat thought bitterly. He'd tried everything to get the old Nepeta back at first, from being gentle and understanding to eventually shouting. That last part just got him a slap in the face from Equius which made half his face swell up for a week. Only Karkat's intensive pleading stopped Feferi from enacting vengeance since he was the one who screwed up by reverting back to his old 'screaming people into compliance' habit to someone who'd been enslaved, which did absolutely nothing but make everything worse. Karkat held no grudge for the incident and was just grateful that Equius didn't break his neck so it really was more of a warning tap from the blueblood. Still, he didn't tempt fate again after narrowly avoiding it the first time.

Nepeta scratched at her neck, an unconscious gesture that tugged down the throat of her thick green sweater and briefly exposed the heavy scar tissue that ringed her neck. Grim, permanent remnants of the slave collar the Overseer had entrapped her with. Karkat quickly averted his eyes from the sight, shifting restlessly in place.

"So..."

"I spoke to one of the humans," she spoke over Karkat, keep her unblinking stare fixed on him.

Karkat quickly seized onto the words, "You did? What callous and nonsensical remarks did you get bombarded with from that lot? They certainly gave me a fucking earful."

"It was the pink one, Rose. The Dancestor one. She was kind."

"That's, uh, good. Better than me I guess, I just got screamed at which I suppose is understandable. Fuck knows I screamed a lot at them back in the good old days so I was overdue for some good vocal comeuppance from those shits. Made me nostalgic actually."

Nepeta stiffened across from him, the sharp claws of her silver gauntlets digging brightly into the bench, "I cannot return to who I am, Vantas."

Whatever air of familiarity and ease that had started to gently rise in the room vanished and Karkat's faint smile slipped from his face like sopor, "I didn't mean that-"

"You did. Don't lie to me, I know what you want."

 _Fucking Heart players,_ Aloud he said, "Don't twist it, that isn't what I fucking meant and you know it. Yeah, you used to be a lot of things and most of those things were great but you got fucked up. We're all fucked up, some more than others and that's just what happens in our screwed up life. Scars never heal -just look at those three on my chest that Gamzee's fucking hiveshit little alien matesprit inflicted on me- and they stay as a reminded to the shit we've gone through to be where we are today." 

Nepeta opened her mouth but then shut her jaw shut with a decisive _snap_. Her eyes were cold as ice as she stared at him, lip curled slightly like she was about to snarl. When she finally spoke her voice was low and barely more than a hiss, "Don't you try that evasive shit on me. Don't you try and act what happened to me was somehow a boon. I can see how you look at me; you want me back the way I was."

"That isn't true," Karkat countered, "I _miss_ how you used to be but that doesn't mean I want to try fucking up your pan and twisting you back into some screwed up mimic of how you were. I'm not that stupid, give me some damn credit."

"So what do you want?" Nepeta asked coldly.

"Maybe I just wanted to fucking talk with my friend? Is that so hard to believe?" Karkat bared his teeth, trying to stop himself from shouting. He had no idea why he was so defensive; Nepeta had every right for her attitude and he had no reason to scream at her coping habits. He felt like he was about to snap.

Nepeta stared with bright green eyes before giving a sigh and looking back out through the thick glass to the expanse of space. Karkat grimaced as he rubbed at his temple. Trying to talk with her had never been so hard and inwardly he cursed. Despite his attitude in wigglerhood he knew hardly anything on dealing with traumatic experiences of another- he could barely handle his own. If not for Feferi he probably would've just gotten worse.

With a soft rasp of his chitinous armour Karkat crossed his arms, studying Nepeta's profile intently. Her thick bushy hair was twisted back into a hoofbeasttail at the nape of her neck, the green of her thick shirt bright against the blackness of her pants and hair. The gauntlets on her arms shined like ice and she had matching metal guards on her lower shins. Her feet were bare and heavily scarred. 

_Everything is so fucked._

"Rose was kind," Nepeta's voice was soft and Karkat immediately centered his attention back on her, watching the greenblood closely, "I did not expect it. It was not even the one I was supposed to know- it was the one who died before. It is strange, sympathy for me from an alien who has every reason to hate what I am due to having no prior attachment to me whatsoever."

"I think..." Karkat said slowly, "I think that out of everything in that shitty murderous piece of crap Game the only good thing to come from it was them, since we technically made them."

"That is true. I wouldn't mind meeting them."

"We'll need to kill the Condesce first and that bitch is being a utter convoluted motherfucker to get to. But we'll do it or die trying."

"Good," Nepeta's eyes were unfocused as she stared out into the abyss of space, "There are worse things more fucked up than death and this is something worth dying for. If not for us, then we should do it for them. I do not remember them, but Equius assured me they were kind to me."

Karkat just nodded, still watching Nepeta intently. There had been a timbre of rage in her voice for a briefest of moments before it shifted back to its emotionless default state. It hurt, to see that brief flicker of fire that had draw him in so deeply before she was captured and Karkat inwardly berated himself. There wasn't time to dwell on 'what might have been', especially since Nepeta wasn't oblivious to the way everyone was treating her, including himself.

The silence stretched on but the uncomfortable air from before was gone. Nepeta, as the minutes passed, gradually relaxed with the razor-sharp tension ebbing from her frame, her features softening slightly. Karkat wanted to reach out and grasp her hand or even just touch her shoulder but previous instances forewarned him that invading her personal state always led to a violent reaction. Instead he kept his hands resting on his knees, thoughts wandering.

"Nepeta."

The deep baritone caused Karkat to instinctively tense in surprise, a hand twitching for his scythe within his strife deck. Nepeta however smiled at the newcomers voice, turning in her seat to look over her shoulder at the towering figure standing in the doorway.

"Equius," her voice was soft and familiar, the gentle smile shifting her scarred face into something tragically beautiful and making Karkat's bloodpusher ache.

The heavily armoured blueblood was silent as he stepped into the room, his attention fixed on Nepeta beyond a courtesy nod at Karkat which the mutant returned. A brief, wordless conversation seemingly passed between the two moirails before Nepeta nodded once and rose, action fluid and elegant.

Nepeta left the room without a backwards glance at Karkat, her gauntlet-clad hand brushing lightly against Equius's shoulder as she exited. Equius watched her go with a soft look on his face before turning to Karkat, his blue eyes bright and attentive.

"Vantas."

Inwardly Karkat winced at the cool tone Equius took with him, any warmth leaving his handsome features. He knew the blueblood still hadn't forgiven them for Nepeta's current state even if he accepted the situation. If anything that human Dirk's attitude mirrored Equius's- knowing they'd done some necessary yet were still angry. Karkat didn't want to think about that actually, as thinking about the humans led to thousands of memories of the Doomed timelines to start rising from the depths of his mind and he really didn't want to deal with the feeling of panic and vertigo that came from it.

"Hello." 

Karkat blinked, staring at the blueblood who stared evenly back. He tried a smile that felt more like a grimace as he replied, "Hi." 

Carefully Karkat stood up, hands held loosely at his sides. He always felt so diminutive around Equius, who was one of the largest trolls he'd ever met with broad shoulders, thickly muscled limbs and strong tall horns. As far as he knew Gamzee was the only troll who was larger than the blueblood. Even so, standing before him Karkat had to tilt his head up what he felt was an unfair amount and despite his own stout stockiness Equius's musculature put him completely to shame. The Heir looked like he could punch a dragon's head off in a single blow. That was one of Terezi's favourite tales to spread around.

Equius meanwhile frowned as if he was expecting something else from him, and Karkat hated this weird tension that now came in every conversation they had. In all honesty Equius used to be one of his favourite trolls to talk to- especially from his long memories of all the timelines and how gross the Zahhak's used to be but after the blueblood regained consciousness form his strange Void mishap with Nepeta's aspect he had shifted into a different person. Equius still retained his intelligence and interest in robotics but now without the underlying creepiness and hemophobic attitude. He was charming, gaining a poise and odd feeling of serenity which Karkat found immensely alluring and his loyalty and gentle behaviour made Karkat feel safe in the Highblood's presence.

Now however Equius treated him coldly, kept him at a distance and Karkat felt like he'd lost two friends in one blow. It was bad enough Vriska and Gamzee left them, but now Nepeta and Equius got hurt on a level Karkat didn't know how to fix. If it wasn't for Equius's feeling of duty to helping them and the troll race as a whole, Karkat had no doubt the moirails would've left. Nepeta seemed indifferent, uncaring at times and Equius was her only link left.

Karkat couldn't help them and it _hurt._

"Do you want anything?"

Equius shook his head, waist length hair swinging behind him like a curtain of black, "I was simply concerned when I did not see Nepeta in our chambers so I came looking for her. It is...it is not uncommon for her to loose the ability to track time."

"It's pretty shit isn't it," Karkat sighed. At the look Equius gave him the Knight quickly amended his comment, "I meant in general, not about her."

"Hm. So do you deem our quest a potential abject failure?" The blueblood's voice was calm but he was watching Karkat shrewdly. Despite Karkat's usual passive Knight abilities, which typically allowed him to generally 'feel' how others felt about him and towards others, with Equius it was always just a blank hole in his awareness that he could never read. Terezi complained about the same regarding the blueblood avoiding her Mind abilities. _Fucking Void players._

So Karkat just ended up exhaling heavily, "I don't fucking know, Equius. Happy? I'm flying blind but unlike Aradia and Tavros I don't even have sparkle-dust drug wings to compensate for that. In the end all we can fucking do is our best with what we got. And if that goes to shit?" Karkat shrugged, "Well then it does and we're fucked. But we've been fucked from the start, so we'll just deal with it like we always have."

"I should hope it would be better than last time," Equius said, tone flat, "I died."

"Yeah, everyone did quite a bit. Let me tell you about that time I burnt to death in lava," his voice was tired but he attempted a smile. Equius's expression lessened in its severity somewhat, so Karkat counted it as a success.

"I spoke to Rose," Equius said slowly, "Not the one Nepeta conversed with- the one we were familiar with, whom Maryam was briefly enamored with."

"Oh? Kanaya's old matesprit alien Seer snob or whatever. How...how is she?"

"She's fine. Distressed and exhausted but that is to be expected. She proved fairly understandable and we had a pleasant conversation, topic aside. We spoke at length about the fusions us trolls have gone through regarding our Aspects and Class, which she found a fascinating discussion. It seems my memories of her being an intelligent person is well founded and I admit I enjoyed our talk. We also finished with her desiring the wish to broaden friendships with us, including speaking to Nepeta and finding familiar bonds with her," Equius smiled faintly, the expression shifting his face from coldly handsome to warm and inviting. 

"At least someone is having better luck than me," Karkat grumbled, "I just got told to fuck off."

"Your defensive rage is your own undoing," Equius said seriously.

"Oh for fucks sake, I get it! I already got this fucking earful from Feferi, I don't need this shit from you as well."

"Then clearly our conversation is over," The coldness that snapped back into Equius's voice as fast as a whip which caused Karkat to wince, "I bid you farewell and good evening."

With that the blueblood pivoted on his heel, long hair whipping Karkat across the face as the Heir left. The silence left in the angry Highblood's wake felt like an accusation. 

Karkat groaned and rubbed at his eyes, wanting to scream or cry. Maybe both. Instead he remained bowed over, swallowing thickly until the tears stinging at his eyes vanished. Gasping he staggered up to his feet before leaning against the massive plane of thick glass, cheek digging into the cool surface. It seemed like no matter how many sweeps passed it was all just the same.

A single word escaped him as he stared blankly out at the sparkling expanse of space, " _Fuck._ "


	32. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so uh, fun fact! The full Gamzee college chapter is actually _too bloody huge_ for me to have in one part (and I'm not even finished it yet either agrhfkh) so I'm splitting it up. I'm posting this 'starter' part now, so you guys know I haven't dropped dead and am actually still doing stuff and the next one will be like the middle of his college times, then the one after _that_ will be his experiences as the GHB. So yeah! Not dead, just terrible at consistency.
> 
> [The three Priestormentors](http://bushime.tumblr.com/image/146575582590) that I got a commission of. :o3c
> 
> Warbound Widow also now has a [TV tropes](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/WarboundWidow) page!

Gamzee's struggle to consciousness was long and arduous, his mind sluggish and uncooperative even as it felt as if his entire body was floating in the darkness. Only his long memories of being addicted to sopor and Kurloz's sheer mental prowess allowed him to carefully dig out the thick drunkenness in his thinkpan and wake up in any kind of vaguely coherent state.

He tried to move, only to find his limbs unresponsive. Something slick and wet was encompassing his whole body and when he managed to open his eyes everything was a surreal blur of colour and black splotches that caused bile to rise in his throat. Quickly shutting his eyes he tried to sort out his hazy memories leading up to Conscription as he swallowed back the urge to vomit, remember Feferi and Aradia trying to persuade him and failing, then the Drone confronting him on the beach. He'd refused to cooperate and Gamzee could remember feeling the spray of blood across his face before he collapsed.

_Am I dead?_

The thought was a comforting one, even if he felt a sting of guilt over not saying goodbye to some of his friends. He'd died thousands of times as Kurloz but as Gamzee he couldn't even remember dying once. But if he really was dead then maybe he could find Jane and Calliope in the dreambubbles- or what passed as dreambubbles in this restored universe. At least he knew with certainty those two would welcome him back, even if a nasty, more desolate part of his mind suggested trolls, humans and cherubs wouldn't have the luck of sharing the afterlife in this new reality. He shoved that aside along with the sharp pounding pain in his thinkpan; he didn't have time for that, he had to get up and go _look_ , to start searching, especially since even in the Game some ghosts were lost for hundred of sweeps before they were found. Gamzee wouldn't waste anymore time, as death and pain was cheap for a ghost.

Mind made up Gamzee slowly calmed his breathing and gingerly opened his eyes again, vision still blotchy and off kilter. It was only when he groaned and tried to sit up, the thick paste encircling him unwilling to release him from its hold, did someone suddenly seize his wrist and Gamzee realized he was not, in fact, alone.

The hand that gripped Gamzee's was huge, far too large to be another adolescent troll and with claws nearly the same length as his fingers. Forcing his gaze upwards the dazed Bard instinctively shrunk backwards when he realized it was an adult troll leaning over him, face painted white like his but with long, scalpel-like horns and hair drawn back into dozens of thick ropes. The adult smiled, probably an attempt to soothe, but all it did was showcase their long, sharp teeth that was an overly bright white against their pitch black lips. Gamzee's exhausted mind lurched in panic, his limbs freezing up as he gave a low grunt of fear and tried to yank his arm free of the adult's unmovable grip.

Then another mind brushed against his own, the old consciousness pulsing with the familiar bubbling warm of chucklevoodoos. The sheer shock of encountering another practitioner of those psychics, after billions of sweeps alone with only his own mind, was enough to allow the foreign presence into his mind and he tensed, even in his exhausted state prepared to try shoving the other mind from his. However unlike the Serkets insidious mental touch, which was a sticky, rotting web that strangled his own mind within the threads, this psychic exuded a deep feeling of trust and a strong sense of concern through their psychics even as their disembodied mental voice echoed through his mind like a river of sweet sopor.

_Shoooooosh, shoosh, shoosh. Rest easy, little one. You're safe, go back to sleep._

Despite the adult's initial appearance installing a visceral fear in him Gamzee felt his initial panic ebb with the foreign troll's words, his exhaustion and profound confusion meaning he didn't stop the adult from reaching deep inside his consciousness and sending him spiraling back into sleep.

 

* * *

The next time Gamzee woke up he was able to immediately open his eyes, his vision clear of any pulsating haze or blotches. The heavy pounding in his thinkpan had largely dissipated and the pain and weakness of his limbs brought on by his weeks of starvation and sun exposure had also mostly vanished. Now he was coherent enough to realize he was lying on his back in a large tub full of sopor, the thick green gel covering all of him barring his face; even his horns were submerged. A few cautious sniffs and he knew the sopor was extremely high quality and having a thick, pungent, almost fruity scent that the warmer castes reperacoons never had. He remember the first time he inquisitively ate a few dollops from Tavros' recuperacoon when he visited and was surprised by how weak it was. But this was high end, even stronger and more visceral than the gel he'd get back on Alternia.

Oh right, Conscription. So he _wasn't_ dead.

Before he could think on it further a rhythmic high pitched _clack clack clack_ sound distracted him, the noise chiming in at even intervals as if someone was drumming their claws against-

He turned his head slightly and stared in confusion when he finally noticed the Condesce herself sitting next to his recupercoon, tapping her long, fuschia painted nails against the wall of the tank he was resting in while the other was holding up a glittery pink phone in the shape of a seashell. Her wild mass of hair obscured the rest of his view of the room and for a brief moment he wondered how much time she must spend on governing the ridiculous amount of tresses before the ancient seadweller noticed Gamzee staring at her, causing her sparkling tyrian lips to curl up into a smile.

With a sharp _snap_ the Empress shut her shellphone and leaned over the lip of the tub until her vast silhouette loomed over Gamzee. Her hair was a tangled halo while her horns were strong spikes that jutted up towards the ceiling. Gamzee felt no fear as the adult leaned over him, instead a strange calm settling over his mind as he gazed up at her, noticing the brilliant pink of her pupils and the wide flared webbing of her fins where numerous priceless gems and golden rings sparkled.

Slowly, with exaggerated movements, she reached into the tub and very gently brushed her calloused knuckles against Gamzee's cheekbones, the coldness of her skin and rings running across his grey skin. Her hand was large enough he knew it could span his entire face, meaning she could crush his face one-handed easily enough. Something softened in her ancient face, the ferocity in her smile dimming when she touched him and she blinked once, slowly and languid, before withdrawing her hand and with a fluid movement she rose from her chair and left without a word.

Blinking dumbly at the ceiling Gamzee wondered if he had just hallucinated the Empress of the Alternian Empire patting his face. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case but a memory surfaced within his mind just before he collapsed when the Drone was threatening him before his hive; an image of sharp white teeth, pink lips and eyes.

 _So you were rescued from certain death by the illustrious and fearsome Queen of your race,_ Jane's voice suddenly commented out of nowhere, _And here I thought such things were fairy tales._

Gamzee blinked and there was Jane, leaning against the lip of the tub in the same place the Condesce had just evacuated. She was wearing her golden Prospit robes and had a gaping, gore-filled hole gutting her abdomen but Gamzee thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful.

Jane smiled at that thought, her teeth bloody and eyes the milky white of the dead as she said, _That's sweet of you to think so, but I don't think I'll be winning any beauty pageants among your race. Not enough grey and horns, also I would wager a pretty penny I'd need to stop brushing my hair for six years to get it anywhere near a likable troll style._

Before Gamzee could reply another voice, accompanied by soft footsteps, interrupted his train of thought.

"Ah so you're awake again, darling."

It was the same voice from before but said aloud rather than through a mental link. Gamzee stared as the adult stepped right through Jane as if she wasn't there, causing her to vanish into wisps like a golden cloud. Now that the Bard was coherent Gamzee could see the white facepaint which marked the stranger as a Subjugglator, part of the Church. However unlike Gamzee's basic paint the adult's was in the form of a large cross which covered most of his round face, with two dots on either brow and two smaller crosses painted on either side of his jaw. Unlike the Condesce this adult was completely foreign to Gamzee and he was struggling to comprehended he was facing an utterly new troll. Eons of memories of being trapped within the dreambubbles for all time had made his mind convinced the only trolls left alive where their group and the brief envision of the enslaved Condesce, so this new troll was of profound interest to him.

Noticing Gamzee's stare the adult's face softened into a smile, showing neat lines of white teeth before he reached over and checked a monitor attached to the lip of the tub of sopor. As he leaned over the troll's long, rope-like hair fell across his bare shoulders and Gamzee's gaze shifted to the troll's deep black skin, noticing how it was decorated in dozens of handprints of various bloodcastes. Even more interesting was the adult's ears, the pointed skin lined with miniature fins which Gamzee knew his own didn't possess.

"How you feeling, dearie? The Condesce found you in quite a state," the adult continued pleasantly, ignoring Gamzee's inner turmoil, "It was quite touch-and-go with you but you've stabilized nicely."

Gamzee tried to talk but all that came out was a hoarse moan. Grimacing, he cleared his throat and managed to rasp out, "I ain't dead?"

"Not at all, darling," now the adult moved back slightly, looking down at Gamzee with sympathetic indigo eyes and he noticed how much smaller the clown was from the Condesce, "You nearly did, however. First a Drone attempted to cull you- the moronic beast -and then you nearly died of undernourishment and sun exposure. Luckily the dearest Condesce was there to aid you and she brought you swiftly to me and I stabilized you."

"Are...are you a Slyph?"

"I don't know what that is but I'm actually a Doctorturer- the best and oldest in the Empire as a matter of fact," the adult smiled, his rows of small fangs a gleaming white.

 _Doctorturer, now there's a right soothing title,_ Jane joked in the back of his mind, which if anything just upset him further.

The strange clown's smile dimmed when he noticed Gamzee's distressed state and he made a soft crooning noise that made Gamzee relax slightly. Like the Condesce before him the clown started patting Gamzee's face but it was in the firm, soothing motions like a reassuring pap from a moirail; he had enough collective memories from his time with Karkat, Jane and Mituna to lean into the touch as bittersweet nostalgia washed through him. It felt almost obscene to get such an intimate touch from a completely stranger but then again Gamzee never really knew much about social boundaries so he turned his face into the comforting gesture, which caused the adult to let out a pleased hum. Then his calloused finger tips traced the three long scars that marred the Bard's face, lingering marks from a desperate and enraged Nepeta.

"Who gave you these, little one?" the adult's voice was soft but Gamzee could just _taste_ the undercurrent of anger lurking beneath the calm surface.

"Someone as punishment for me killing a motherfucker," he said drowsily, the adult's petting lulling him into a groggy state. He was fairly sure Nepeta managed to literally scar his soul with her attack; it would explain why the three long lines hadn't vanished when the Game restored them all, especially since Tavros got his legs back, Vriska her arm and eye and Kanaya's Rainbow Drinker aspect vanished.

Gamzee was overcome with a wave of remorse for how he behaved towards Nepeta on Alternia; while he had more or less had valid reason for mauling Karkat and Kanaya when they came complaining to him, Nepeta had simply came to him for closure and help, even though he'd killed her in a different time. She'd had enough faith that he wasn't really a senseless monster so many of the others dismissed him as but he more or less threw that back in her face and attacked her in a blind rage. At least Nepeta escaped that time without him harming her or killing her outright.

The adult noticed Gamzee's melancholy and withdrew his hand, a frown on his round face. This time Gamzee was coherent enough he felt the others chucklevoodoos press against his, but instead the 'Doctorturer' simply gave him a brief mental scan before bustling off somewhere else in the room.

The room. What room? Where even was he? He was fairly certain he was dead when he originally woke up, but the Condesce's appearance and now this strange adult threw that all into major doubt. Or maybe he was dying on the beach back in Alternia and was hallucinating everything. Gamzee wouldn't be surprised if that last one was the case.

 _You were probably fairly delirious from starvation and dehydration down there,_ Jane offered, _Since even I don't know how long you languished before Conscription. A month? Maybe more? Who knows but you barely ate or drank, so little wonder your mind was so twisted up._

Before he could ask the disembodied phantom of his alien matesprit more questions the foreign adult reappeared within his line of sight again, holding a long syringe in his left hand. Gamzee tensed as the adult reached into the tub and carefully drew his arm from the thick, clinging slime. Gamzee was surprised to notice that underneath the sopor the twisted, raised burns the harsh Alternian sun had inflicted upon his grey flesh had mostly faded, the wounds now just light grey scars. Despite that Gamzee tried to pull his arm away, not liking the weird chartreuse coloured liquid within the syringe. Noticing his rising anxiety the adult quickly comforted him.

"Don't fret, dear. This is simply a chemical solution that will help purify your lovely purple blood just a wee bit more. You suffered a lot of sun exposure and while the medical sopor is helping your skin recover, the sun sickness can get right into your tendons and bones which this will help nullify darling, so hold tight," there was such a ring of sincerity within the adult's voice and mind Gamzee accepted his words without further struggle and allowed the older clown to rotate his wrist and inject the chemical into his bloodstream. The fluid felt uncomfortably hot as if spread through his arm before slowly ebbing away and the adult dropped his arm back into the sopor with a satisfied nod.

"Was that really the Condesce?" Gamzee blurted out before the adult could wander off again.

The other clown grinned down at him, "Sure was. Quite a breathtaking sight isn't she?"

Gamzee inwardly agreed; he remembered seeing glimpses of her in battle during the climax of the Game and she was a horrifying force to behold. If it wasn't for all the Godtiers Gamzee had no doubt she would've killed them all and even then she managed to grievously injured quite a few. If not for Aradia's last second intervention the ancient Queen would've succeeded and from his memories of the other timelines she _did_ succeed and killed a few of them before breaking a certain someones neck with one hand. An impressive sight to be sure. Gamzee wondered if the Condesce had all these abilities in this new timeline or whatever it was. He hoped not.

Before he could contemplate on it further Jane's voice cut through his mind, slightly hazy and disembodied, _Ask the clown what his name is._

Oh right.

"Who are you?"

The adult laughed at that, his sweet voice echoing through the room before he smiled down at Gamzee, saying, "My name is Abutor Vulnus, little one."

* * *

Vulnus kept Gamzee inside the tub of sopor for another day and Gamzee spent most of them swimming in and out of unconsciousness before the old troll finally switched off the tub and announced, "That's it, sweetie. Time for you to get up."

A part of Gamzee just wanted to lie there forever or even just drown in the sweet smelling gel but before he could say as much Abutor reached down and physically dragged Gamzee out of the sopor. The adult was large and was easily able to hold Gamzee up by his armpits, his feet not even touching the floor as the old clown hefted him up. Gamzee couldn't be bothered enough to fight him.

Abutor walked over to a bathtub on the other side of the room with the Bard still dangling from his grip like a limp ragdoll and Gamzee was too distracted by looking around the wide, clean room they were in to protest when the adult turned on the water and started to scrub the oozing sopor off him. Gamzee didn't resist, even peering around the adult to look the room over some more; it was a stark, vibrant white and the tub he'd been sleeping in took up one corner of the room. A large bench next to it was decorated with a wide variety of shiny instruments and numerous hoses dangling from the ceiling above. At the other end of the bench was a large steel door with an odd diamond symbol stamped in the middle.

Due to not really being raised by a lusus and thus not being particularly aware of any social expectations, Gamzee was fairly uncaring of his naked state as the adult washed the sopor off of him. The detached, clinical air Abutor adopted also helped, with the Doctorturer behaving as if it was simply a basic task and Gamzee's eyes slid back to studying the adult, still a bit bemused at finally seeing a another troll who wasn't a Game player. Even the Condese was one in her own way by virtue of simply being an alternative of Meenah.

This adult however was completely at odds with any other troll Gamzee had come in contact with, not in the least that he was also a fellow clown. Beyond himself and Kurloz, who was more or less him as well at this point, he'd never met another Church member. Kurloz's memories before the Game were nigh non-existent and Gamzee met no other trolls beyond the eleven on his contact list. The adult however was short and stout, being barely seven and a half feet tall. His long horns, the left with a curved, smooth blade end and the other with a jagged curve like a saw. The hair style was also like none Gamzee had seen, his hair carefully twisted into dozens of thick ropes that were pulled back from his brow and hung down towards his lower back like numerous slitherbeasts.

His only clothing were a pair of black pants decorated with purple pokadots but otherwise he was bare, with his chest, arms and shoulders covered in the bloody handprints. They were probably sealed with something, as he was sitting on the lip of the bath and being splashed with water but none of the gory imprints washed off. In the middle of his chest was an odd symbol, a diamond within a diamond with a spot in the center, the same one located on the door. Obviously it was Abutor's symbol, even if the one on his chest look carved directly into the dark skin. Gamzee wondered if that hurt to get it branded within his flesh.

Then Abutor took a bowl of warm water and dumped it over Gamzee's head, soaking his hair. Without pause the adult began to clean out the sopor from his hair even while Gamzee made a small noise of complaint at the abrupt movement.

"Tsk tsk, didn't take much care of yourself did you darling?" Abutor admonished, even as Gamzee remained sitting motionless within the bath, "The sorry state you were in when the beautiful Empress found you."

Gamzee was only half listening, the adult's careful ministrations and cleaning of him lulling the young troll into a trance-like state. He felt the adult carefully feel along the length of his spine, pressing firmly on the vertebrae and muttering under his breath. Jane had done much the same, when she would usually start lecturing over his bad eating habits. Abutor however didn't comment on his protruding bones, instead just scrubbing down the grime off his back and rinsing it off. 

"There we go sweetie, all clean!" Abutor declared, stepping away from Gamzee. He tapped a button on the side of the bath and the water drained away, followed by Gamzee getting blasted with warm air. He jumped out of reflex, only to relax when the adult soothingly ran a hand through his hair and hummed. Everything was so strange; the last time Gamzee had been in such foreign environments was when SGRUB started and most of his memories of all of that were fairly negative and not something he wanted to repeat.

"Here we are, dearie," the old clown offered Gamzee new clothes which he'd plucked from his sylladex. They were just a simple top, grey speckled pants and purple shoes but without complaint Gamzee got dressed, smoothing the black shirt and feeling a sense of relief when he stared down at his symbol. It was comforting. Then a hand gently tapped his shoulder and Gamzee blinked, looking up at the adult owlishly.

"Now what be your name, hmm?"

"Uh, this brother is called Gamzee Makara."

"Gamzee Makara," Abutor said in a thoughtful tone, watching Gamzee as he pulled on the pair of shoes with an oddly affectionate twinkle in his indigo eyes, "Of _course_ that's your name, darling."

"What?"

Abutor shook his head, his ropy hair swinging behind him as he smiled, "Don't you worry that little thinkpan, precious one. Now, do you feel better?"

Gamzee shifted awkwardly and reluctantly nodded; it wasn't exactly what he wanted and a part of him was resentful they hadn't let him die like he originally intended. He didn't prevent that thought from seeping out and judging by the way the adult's smile turned into a frown he'd caught the tail end of it. With a fluid movement Abutor shifted around to Gamzee's side, his hand encompassing Gamzee's entire shoulder. Side by side Gamzee noticed he didn't even come up to the adult's own shoulder- the Bard's horns barely coming above the Doctorturer's armpit and considering that Gamzee had been the tallest out of the entire SGRUB group it made him wonder how tall some adults become.

Before he could think on it further, Abutor gently steered him from the room while saying in his sweet voice, "Hush, come along- you need something to eat and fill that empty little belly of yours and while that occurs I shall be more than happy to explain everything to you. Come now."

With a shrug Gamzee allowed the adult to manhandle him into the next room. Unlike the clinical cleanness of the previous the one, they entered a larger, more hive-minded room, filled with numerous assortments of weird bean-like seats that were actually really nice to sit on, as Gamzee found out as he flopped onto one and immediately sank into it.

He tried without success to extract himself from the bean chair for a few minutes before giving up with a huff and lying there. After a few moments Gamzee conceded it was actually very comfortable and squirmed in it for a while before settling with a contented hum and peering about the room; it looked like normal living quarters and the lighting came from the bleach-white troll skulls fitted along the walls, purple candles protruding from their horns, the flickering light shimmering off the glass walls. Gamzee blinked, wondering how Abutor had made the skulls; maybe he carved them himself? He knew Terezi made all her scalemates by hand and Equius always had many strange metal inventions littering his areas. 

"Now what do you remember, dearie?" Abutor asked sweetly as he settled in one of the odd plush chairs across from him. The adult seemed perfectly at ease even as the soft lighting cast a fairly nightmarish silhouette of him on the walls and sharpened the large white cross painted on his round face.

Gamzee blinked blearily from his sprawled pose, damp hair hanging limply over his face. He was silent for over a minute as he struggled to shift through his memories before Conscription; it was like a fever dream, all hazy and near delirious but he certainly remembered the weird chittering and spiky black armour that took up most of the tail end of it.

"Um, I dunno? I think the Drone, maybe?"

"Hm," the adult folded his hands on his lap; he seemed resistant to the weird enveloping plush of the bean chairs, "Well you remember that much at least- you were found by the Condesce, who killed the Drone that was accosting you," Abutor watched him carefully as he spoke, as if he was hoping for some strong reaction or response.

The Bard's face remained blank, "Oh figured I saw a splash of glitter pink 'fore I conked my ass out. Just kinda figured my thinkpan was making up shit."

"Not quite, darling," Abutor crossed his legs and settled back before continuing, "The Condesce was on Alternia for her annual duel with her Heiress; she gets one every few hundred sweeps or so and there is always a traditional fight to the death, where the Empress's Descendant challenges her for the throne. If the Empress dies, her Heiress inherits the Empire. Of course, the Condesce has had no problem whatsoever killing the last few hundred Heiresses who've shown up which might be why this current Heiress chose to flout tradition and instead fled rather than stay and fight," judging by the scorn that filled Abutor's voice at the end he greatly disapproved of this.

Gamzee sucked in a breath; though he'd been fairly out of it when he saw the Condesce sitting next to him she'd been massive enough she made Abutor, an adult over seven feet tall, seem small. Feferi was still only an adolescent; the Condesce would've been easily able to wrap one hand around the Witch's neck. Would've been easily able to break someones neck one handed. He knew she'd done it before. 

"But ain't her Heiress still a wiggler?" Gamzee asked, not bothering to hide the confusion in his voice, "While the Empress has gotten her adult on for how long a motherfucker knows?"

A sharp smile crossed Abutor's face, "Yes, but that is the point; an Heiress must prove her sheer strength by killing a fully realized Empress, thus showing she is worthy to lead the Empire as the Condesce did so many sweeps ago. Instead this one fled like a coward. That is why the Condesce found you, little one. She was hunting the shores for her errant Descendant."

A part of Gamzee wanted to tell the adult to fuck off; he remembered Feferi coming to him before Conscription and pleading with him to leave with her, how she promised to protect him along with Aradia. That part also regretted not leaving with the two girls. They'd never been cruel to him and he had no doubt they would've kept their promise if he accepted their offer.

Bitterness swirled in his mind as his thoughts blackened and shifted like storm clouds of anger and regret. Abutor clearly picked them up, as he made no effort to reign in his psychics but the adult interpreted his rage incorrectly, saying to him, "Don't worry, dearie. Since that girl flouted tradition the Condesce has issued an Empire-wide Kill-on-sight order."

"What does that matter?" Gamzee asked, irritated, "Couldn't the Empress just do that shit from the start?"

The Doctorturer wasn't put off by Gamzee's hostile tone, "Well hardly, darling. The duel is also meant for the successor to have the chance to claim the Vast Glub and she spurned that chance."

"The what?"

For the first time Abutor looked genuinely caught off guard, "The Vast Glub, sweets. You know what that is?"

"Uh..." He was _fairly_ sure Sollux died from it in the Game, something about not crossing the Medium in time or whatever. Thinking quickly, another image crossed his mind of a vast sea creature and Feferi's shark-toothed smile and he nodded, "Oh yeah, the big screaming scream of death from Gl'bgolyb," inwardly Gamzee was impressed he actually managed to say it properly in one go.

"Gl'bgolyb?" The adult cocked his head to the side, long hair swaying.

"Yeah? Like...Peixes have her big squid ass for a lusus right? A uh, a horrorterror, yeah. Looks like a bag of angryass bulges, I guess. Gives a fuckin' screaming and everyone dies with vain juice bursting outta every motherfucking hole it can. Messy shit."

"Gamzee, horrorterrors are a wiggler story. They are not real," Abutor said in gentle tones, "The Vast Glub is a psychic power that only the Empress holds; when her Heiress kills her they inherit it. The Vast Glub is essentially a psychic shockwave an Empress can release to kill a certain blood caste. If any other blood caste besides a tyrian kills an Empress she will release the Vast Glub and kill every troll alive. This is basic schoolfeeding, dear."

"Oh. Uh, my bad. I ain't...I ain't good with that shit, didn't really do much schoolfeeding," he feigned a casualness he didn't really, even as the revelation Gl'bgolyb didn't exist sunk into this thinkpan; first the Green Moon and now this. It certainly proved beyond a doubt SGRUB was dead in this universe. He was unsure how to feel about that.

"It's alright, darling," Abutor assured him in his sweet voice, "You've been through a near death experience and who knows how terrible the education system has gotten on Alternia. But don't worry too much, as you'll begin your lessons within the Church soon enough."

"Church?"

That response seemed to stun Abutor into silence for a very long moment, with him staring at Gamzee with a blank expression for a few long, awkward moments and Gamzee squirmed uneasily in the bean chair. Despite the adult's poleaxed expression his answer was calm.

"The Church of the Mirthful Messiahs."

Instantly bile flooded Gamzee's throat and he nearly vomited; images of Calliope and Caliborn flooded his thinkpan despite his attempts to push the memories away. Images of them hatching from the glowing candy-swirl egg, of their first steps, of the first time he hugged him, of the first time he got mauled by one of them, then being forced to leave them in a room together in order to grow and making sure to leave as many objects as he could to make their lives somewhat bearable in its isolation. Then the last time he saw his two little green Messiahs, locked in a vicious fight to the death, both the cherub's abandoning their guns to fight tooth and claw while he and the Leprechauns watched even as lime green and vibrant crimson began to thickly splatter the floor. Then Caliborn dying, an eye gored out and his throat slashed open by the sharp fangs of his other half and Calliope's wild, hysterical crying as she realized she'd won. He'd gone over and sat with her as she cried and then died soon after of her injuries. He'd watched his two Messiahs die and now it seemed like life was throwing it back in his face, of his colossal failure to protect either of them.

Gamzee was too grief ridden to even noticed he'd started crying, his body shuddering as purple tears flowed down his cheeks. Abutor swiftly rose and knelt down next to him, the adult's calming voice lost in Gamzee's choked wheezes as misery and overwhelming loss strangled him and made him blind to mostly everything else.

"Shoosh, shoosh, darling. It's fine, you're safe."

Gamzee shoved away his hand; or tried to, as he just wound up sloppily hitting the adult on the shoulder. He automatically flinched when a large hand grabbed his wrist but the grip was gentle despite the firmness. Abutor did nothing else as Gamzee struggled to control himself, inhaling in thick, shaky heaves as his sobbing gradually slowed. Sniffing thickly he wiped at his face with his free hand, blinking blearily as he belatedly realized he wasn't even wearing his facepaint. Instead his facial skin was clear apart from the slickness of his tears.

"Who the fuck even _are_ you?" he demanded, yanking at his captive wrist. The adult let him go this time without hesitation which confused Gamzee further; he knew from Kurloz's spying that Alternian adults were supposed to be vicious and hostile to near but everyone and if a young troll was foolish enough to be caught then a swift death was the most merciful thing they could get. Instead Abutor had been nothing but kind to him and even his previous brief encounter with the Condesce had only involved her stroking his face. At first he hadn't cared- being still fairly off kilter due to his previous near death experience and starvation -but the adult's continual kindness was upsetting him. Even his 'friends' eventually hurt or tried to kill him so he had no idea why this complete stranger was acting like a lusus or moirail towards him.

Abutor meanwhile looked completely unfazed by Gamzee's sudden switch from tears to anger, instead watching the young troll calmly as he remained kneeling next to him. Even while crouched like that he was taller than Gamzee, his pitch black skin making the numerous bloody hand prints decorating his torso all the more vivid for it. The adult slowly titled his head to the side, indigo eyes bright as he answered calmly his question, "I am Abutor Vulnus, darling. Remember?"

Gamzee made an irritated sound, "No, I all know that instead I'm asking like why the fuck do you even give a shit?"

The adult blinked, "Ah, my apologies sweetling. I do guess I am being fairly blatant and you are no doubt unused to it," he rose back up and gently ruffled Gamzee's damp hair even as the Bard continued to stare at him. The Doctorturer just smiled and said, "No matter; you are among the Church my dear, and we take care of our own. Please come with me and you shall find out more as they begin initiation soon. You are lucky you woke up when you did, it's just about time."

"Initiation?" Gamzee let adult carefully pull him to his feet, feeling slightly light headed and overwhelmed.

"Yes, darling. You survived Conscription and there's now the basic initiation to help you integrate into the Church," Abutor said gently. Gamzee stared at him numbly as the adult pulled a pottle of white paint from his sylladex and offered it to him, to which he mutely accepted. The adult continued, "Well, I guess it's more of an orientation. You missed the first week that usually involves basic examinations and room sorting since you were so badly injured and malnourished. However the others have been alerted of your...circumstances, darling and besides, the main introductions begin quite soon. I will escort you there then you can learn more about what it means to be with us."

With almost unconscious movements Gamzee put his face back on, the familiar feeling of the white paint helping sooth some of his ragged nerves with its familiarity, even he stared absently forward. It was then Gamzee realized actually what lined the walls; he had assumed earlier it had been made of glass, due to all the glinting caused from the refracting candle light.

Instead thousands of jars lined the walls on the hundreds of long shelves. Inside the jars was a green-tinged fluid and bobbing gently up and down in the jar was an eyeball. Some jars had eyes completely packed into them with barely any room; other jars had a single eyeball serenely floating instead. Gamzee stared absently at the walls not really comprehending what he saw at first, at the thousands of floating eyes.

"Oh, so you like my pretties?" a clawed hand snatched the jar of paint from his lax hand even as another arm draped itself across his shoulders, drawing him closer to the nearest wall. Gamzee didn't resist, transfixed by all the blankly staring eyes gazing back at him.

"Um...why you have 'em?" Gamzee asked slightly dazed. He subconsciously leaned into the sturdy support Abutor provided and the adult happily pulled him closer, a contented hum reverberating from his bare chest.

Abutor's laughter was light and airy, "Why wouldn't I? They say gander bulbs are the boiled sand planes to the soul. Personally I believe they're just ever so _pretty._ Such a variance within our species. I am always so eager to add new ones to my extensive collection. It's the largest in the Empire, you know," the adult gave Gamzee's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

A part of Gamzee wanted to shove away the adult's comforting touch or even hit the old troll; he didn't _want_ to like Abutor or to accept his help. Something about his kindness made the Kurloz part of his thinkpan bristle while the other just wished that he'd died on Alternia like he originally intended. Then he would be dead and he would be able to search the dreambubbles or whatever passed for them in this new weird universe, to find his dead Messiahs and matesprit. Not stuck in a strange location with a bunch of strangers.

But he was alive and he'd been starved for comfort for the majority of his live; even in SGRUB he found no refugee, most of his friends either dying or trying to kill him at some point. It was only in his dealings with Jane and Calliope did he get affection and he sorely missed it. Abutor offered it and Gamzee at the moment was too tired to turn him away, instead pressing his face against the adult's lean side with a low huff.

"Poor dear, not to worry I'm sure you'll find many friends in your new family," Abutor's sweet voice curled around him, soothing and soft. It reminded him of the times Jane would sing him human songs, which she called 'nursery rhymes'. Gamzee liked those songs. He wish he'd sung some of them to his cherubs when they were wigglers. Actually he might have but Gamzee wasn't sure. Nearly dying screwed his memory up quite a bit.

"But first, eat this," Gamzee blinked when Abutor abruptly shoved a grubloaf under his nose. Where the older troll had gotten it, he wasn't too sure but he was hungry so Gamzee ate it without further encouragement, ignoring how Abutor smoothed down his shirt and brushed some imaginary dirt off his shoulders.

"Good good, you'll get some more food after initiation and when you're given your quarters," Abutor said in approving tones as Gamzee swallowed down the grubloaf fast enough he felt like a rock was lodged in his throat. He swallowed, grimacing as he tried to get rid of the awful sensation, even as Abutor took his shoulders and forcefully steered him from the room. 

He let himself be steered along, hardly paying attention to Abutor's low rambling even as the Doctorturer's long claws lightly pricked at his skin through his shirt. Absentmindedly he was aware of the huge corridor they were walking down, the roof being nearly twenty feet high and the walls, used to be a gleaming silver, were so thickly coated in rainbow blood the original steel could hardly been seen through the scant gaps and lined with more of the skull candles.

The snap of Abutor's fingers in front of his face snapped him out of his daze, blinking rapidly as the adult shifted around until he was fully facing him, indigo eyes bright.

"Huh?"

"I said there are the rest of the initiates, darling," Abutor said, voice low and sweet. Following the Doctorturer's gesture Gamzee noticed the huge doors further down before which there was a massive group of young trolls loitering in front of. Abutor cast the crowd an affection look, before glancing back at him and saying, "This is where I'll leave you, sweetie. I'll check up on you but for now you are in our Priestormentors loving claws. Don't worry- Occhio is far more bark than his bite with you little wigglers, so just take less notice of his screamings and insults."

"Um," he didn't know what to say. Either way, Abutor didn't seem irritated as he just smiled back at him before giving Gamzee a gentle push towards the crowd.

Unsure he wandered forward, the press of minds against his making him feel nauseous and defensive and he quickly clamped down on his psychics. He hovered at the outskirts of the group, getting a few curious glances but otherwise wasn't approached. Before he could start to think about what to do the crowd suddenly shifted, moving through the gigantic doors. Not knowing what else to do, Gamzee followed the other young trolls into a vast hall, casting a single mute look backwards to where Abutor gave him a brisk parting wave.

Still confused Gamzee followed the group, wandering down the vast hall; unlike the corridor the hall's roof was so high it seemingly stretched up into the darkness, the soft illumination from the thousands of candles not capable of penetrating the thick shadows above. Despite the dark above, the walls themselves were covered in towering, elaborately painted portraits of various trolls. Before he could study them further a sharp clap caught his attention and he reluctantly dragged his gaze away from the walls.

Standing at the end of the hall on a rise were three adult trolls. Gamzee tensed slightly, worrying at his lower lip with teeth as he followed the group of young trolls towards the end until they were motioned to stop by the stout adult female. At her gesture the thousands of small initiates sat down. Gamzee followed suit, crossing his legs while his claws dug into his thighs. It was so surreal to be surrounded by so many different trolls and now there were _adults_.

Like the Condesce and Abutor their skin was pitch black, their iris filled in fully with the vibrant purple of their caste colour, barring the middle one of the trio who, for all intense and purposes, appeared to be blind; at first Gamzee thought he was seeing things but when the troll turned it became very apparent he had no eyes at all, instead just hollow, empty sockets. Despite that he still had thin-rimmed glasses perched across his nose.

His hair was thick and hung down to the small of his back while his horns were long and arched backwards from his skull. Like the other adult his facepaint was unique, looking as if it was running from his empty eye sockets like white tears. More white paint framed his eyes and mouth, with a dot placed directly in the middle of his forehead. Gamzee was sitting near the back of the group but he still easily saw when the adult's purple tongue flickered out of his mouth, long and forked like a slitherbeasts.

 _This seems like a fun bunch,_ Jane remarked, suddenly appearing next to him without a sound and causing him to jump, _Goodness, you adult trolls get quite big don't you? Must make designing doors interesting. Little wonder those corridors were so large._

Gamzee gave a grunt but agreed with Jane; even the shortest of the adults was over eight feet tall, which interestingly enough made Abutor the shortest adult he'd seen thus far. Not a very comforting thought but it did make him mildly interested in how his own pupation would change him; if he lived that long, as is.

A nervous vibe fell over the group of youngsters as the adults continued to simply watch them. Despite their size and the numerous horror stories Gamzee had heard about Alternian adults none of the three were acting in a threatening manner even if the blind one seemed more visually irritated than the other two. It could be because they had a lot more practice over concealing their emotions but Gamzee wasn't sure. He debated over trying to touch their minds but just as quickly dismissed the idea. No point in leaving a bad first impression and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to explain away his billions of sweeps worth of memories to them.

The female adult shifted, rolling her broad shoulders as she slowly swept her indigo gaze across the group. Her wild hair was swept to the right, while her long, curling horns nearly reaching her lower back. Unlike the other two adults however at her throat was a strange, thick wattle like a gobblefiend, speckled in bright purple boils. Her facepaint was more jagged and skull-like than the blind one but she seemed more interested in just eyeing them for the time being then saying anything, hands on her wide hips.

In contrast the final adult kept on giving whoever they made eye-contact with reassuring smiles. Unlike the other two their hair was pulled back in a bushy hoofbeast tail at the nape of their neck. Their horns seemed more elaborate as well, looking akin to strange curved sickles jutting up from the wild tangle of hair, with the left having jagged ends like hooks. Despite that, they seemed to be giving off a lot nicer more approachable air compared to the other two. Or at least less aloof or hostile.

As the silence dragged on Gamzee was starting to guess this was some kind of test of nerve, a suspicion furthered by the blind adult pulling a long, club-like cane from his strife deck. Many of the youngsters stiffened at the appearance of a weapon but he simply struck the spiked tip on the floor, the sudden noise causing a few noises of alarm.

Then he spoke, voice thick and hoarse and easily carrying over the crowd, "Alright you lil' shits, pay attention because this is a fucking crash-course introduction to all the fuckery you lot are gonna be involved in for the rest of your lives."

 _Wow, he's got a way with kids,_ Jane snarked. Gamzee hastily shooshed her as the adult continued.

"First off, some basic shit like introductions; we three are the High Priestormentors of the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs," the blind troll said slowly, "That means we're the top three of all the Priestormentors within the Church and members of the Bloodied Authority who preside over it. If you got shit you wanna know you talk to a Priest and we'll figure it the fuck out, understood?"

There was some confusion but asides from some extremely low muttering no one dared interrupt the adult as he continued, "As for names, I am Occhio Mutare and these motherfuckers with me are Eminor Morbus and Gratia Ananke," he pointed at the female adult then to the one with sickle-shaped horns before adding, "However you shits are gonna have to learn how to talk different with these two, but we'll get to that later."

He rapped the tip of his cane against the floor again, the sharp _clack clack clack_ of the spikes echoing through the vast hall as all the initiates stared at him in baited breath, "Now, simply put we've got the task of keeping you lil' motherfuckers alive while educating your ignorant asses about the Church," Occhio said slowly. His lips curled, showing long sharp teeth before he said, "We won't succeed. A third of you will probably die, either from shit happening a sweep now or even after your adult molt. Only two thirds of you small fuckers are gonna live long enough to become full members of the Church. We do what we can to keep you alive, but it's just how it is."

 _Uh, that's not a good start,_ Jane mumbled awkwardly beside him. Gamzee had to agree; telling them flatout many of them were going to die seemed a little bit excessive. Or maybe that was his Beforus thoughts intruding on him again. It was frustrating and confusing, his memories still conflicting despite Kurloz assimilating into him for the most part.

"But anyway," Occhio continued, undaunted by the obvious fright on many of the initiates faces, "Asides from that shit, many of you will become full members of the Church if you do all this stuff right- and by right I mean obeying the tenants we go by. Now, any of you little fuckheads know some? Or any of the shit we do?"

Gamzee had a rough idea of what some of them were but he didn't exactly want to raise his hand and get zeroed out. It was creepy enough that the Condesce had done it to him earlier and he was still confused and oddly irritated by her attention before.

Then suddenly a small, frightened voice piped up from one of the initiates near the front, "We...we worship the Messiahs and o-offer them sacrifice to show our devotion?"

The sickle-horned Priestormentor, Gratia, gave the youngster a kind smile and thumbs up even as Occhio nodded, saying, "True, we spill out all colours of the hemospectrum for our Messiahs, may they consume us all. But yeah, that's one of the things we stick close to. Anything else?"

Truthfully Gamzee wanted to talk; he knew a lot about the Church since Kurloz spent a ridiculous amount of time spying on virtually everything in the dreambubbles then there was himself, dealing with the Messiahs themselves. Admittedly while they were small and cute rather than larger and rebellious but he knew a lot about them. Including Lord English and his desires which was pretty much 'destroy everything'. Despite that, however, he didn't want to out himself in such a manner- bad enough the Condesce seemed to view him as something special for an odd reason he didn't understand or want to. Before he could internally debate some more about saying something Occhio beat him to the punch.

"Ugh, okay so it's obvious you're a bunch of ignorant fuckheads and you know what? We can work with that, that we can," Occhio said, his voice echoing through the vast hall, "So we're here to teach you lil' shits how to become devout members of the Church and to help you stay alive. As I said before, we're gonna fuck up and some of you are gonna die- that's just life, however and we Subjugglators do not fear death. For when we die we fuck off and live on within the afterlife until the Messiahs grant us the double-death and we are erased from existence in a final cataclysm of death and carnage which will echo throughout reality forevermore."

"But still, some ground work," He rapped his spike-tipped cane on the floor again even as his long forked tongue flicked out a few more times before he continued, "While we're teaching you there are some basic rules to this shit, asides from the tenants and kinda wrapped up in them all over. But at this moment, the most important one at the moment is you motherfuckers _never_ harm another member of the Church. Am I understood?"

The initiates exchanged bewildered glances before a girl at the back called out, "But ain't we supposed to attack each other when onna 'em gets uppity? Like, I got all dat school feedin' and it says-"

"I know what that shit says!" Occhio shouted, "But that's for all those other dumbfucks in different castes; we're the Church, we are in a different level, you hear? You don't attack or harm another member, another clown. If they attack you first, obviously you can defend your ass but do _not_ kill them. Either beat them off and tell a senior member here or knock them unconscious and report it," his eyeless face looked over the group before grinding out, "If you are found guilty of killing another Church member you will be burned alive at the Stake until you are dead and nothing but a pile of ash. You hear me? So don't fuckin' do it!"

There was some more confused and irritated murmuring and Gamzee frowned slightly; not allowed to hurt other clowns? He wasn't exactly complaining about the rule but it seemed a rather odd one for the Church which spent most of its time killing trolls.

 _Well, maybe that's the point?_ Jane suggested by his side, _Since your caste is in charge of enforcing the hemospecutrum on lower castes, having intensive internal turmoil would easily upset cohesion. Also the whole 'cult' thing would make lots of backstabbing and murder frustrating. So perhaps this is a good thing? Maybe you'll find some people you can trust._

Gamzee doubted that considering how terrible his track record was but it was a nice thought.

Before he could dwell on it further another initiate spoke up, waving his hand in the air and asking, "But what about quadrants?"

Gamzee was fairly sure if Occhio had eyes he would've rolled them. Despite making sure his psychics were kept carefully under control Gamzee could still taste the sour irritation radiating from the old Priestormentor.

 _I wonder why he chose to become a Priest if he gets pissed off so easily,_ Jane said, watching the adult rub at his brow with a gloved hand. She shifted closer to Gamzee so she was leaning against his side and he pretended he could feel the warmth of her through the fabric of his shirt.

"Urgh you stupid shits, quadrants and trying to fuckin' kill someone isn't the same thing," Occhio snapped, a snarl in his voice, "I just- for fucks sake, _really?_ Like fucking really? What are they teaching you on that shithole planet these days?"

Despite still being instinctively wary of the adult, Gamzee found himself liking Occhio's crass and rude demeanor. It reminded him of Karkat or Meenah. While he didn't get along with either of those two it was still strangely nostalgic and oddly comforting to find something familiar.

With a huff the blind adult put his hands on his hips, lips curled up and showing long teeth, "But first thing first; we need you lil' shits to socialize. That means getting to know one another. The only way you're gonna learn that golden fuckin' rule by getting to know the other clowns here. So, we're gonna split you up in groups of three and you're gonna talk. And if you fucks start shit we'll shut you up. Understood?"

Gamzee wound up sitting with two strangers, a bit bemused by everything and fairly overwhelmed by the sheer variety of trolls in the room as he blankly stared at everything. He was used to seeing only the same trolls for millions of sweeps on end from Kurloz and even when he met the humans in his session there were only eight of them. Now there were some many strange trolls the same age as him and that wasn't counting the three adults supervising them, putting him in a daze.

They were made to sit at a table, one of the many the adults ejected from their sylladexes and ordered them to sit around. The table was small and round, probably so to minimize any potential maulings or at least give adequate warning for the Priests to intervene, and Gamzee was seated with a strange male and female and the Bard studied them with avid interest. The girl's hair was a thick curly black cloud around her head, with two small horns poking out of the tangled mess, curving up like the shape of the Flush quadrant. Her clothing was basic, shorts, sandals and a black shirt imprinted with a purple triangle with a slash through it. The purple matched her thick-framed glasses. She looked bored, leaning against the table top and idly tapping a claw on the surface, long buck teeth digging into her lip as she sneered at him. Despite her defiance she was missing her left eye; the skin surrounding the socket was scarred and clawed, while in place of her eye ball there was a large cobalt jewel wedged into the socket.

In contrast the other boy troll was staring resolutely at his lap, his massive mess of hair obscuring most of his face and shoulders. While Gamzee had known Feferi and Aradia had fairly long hair this other clown's hair was even more tangled and longer than those two combined, with the black tresses surrounding him like a cloak even as his needle-shaped horns struggled to peak out of the mess. Despite that natural shield, Gamzee could see he was wearing a black shirt with a large purple sash tied around his waist and a grey skirt. His small hands dug anxiously into the fabric on his lap and when he snuck a look at Gamzee his eyes were large and watery, as if he was about to burst into tears.

 _Well, this is fairly awkward,_ Jane commented dryly from where she was leaning against his chair. Gamzee glanced at her and she gestured towards the two trolls, _Say hello._

Gamzee figured that was a good start as any.

"Hi."

The girl just glared at him while the boy jerked so violently he nearly fell off his seat, a stifled gasp escaping him. Gamzee was confused, able to taste the fear radiating off of him even without consciously using his psychics. He didn't think he looked _that_ scary. Maybe he was like Tavros and just couldn't deal with conversations. Or how Damara used to be.

 _The poor thing is terrified,_ Jane said sympathetically, _Do you think he's been hurt before? He certainly seems to be expecting one of you to give him a thrashing, for whatever reason._

Gamzee snorted at that; he didn't want to hurt them, he was sick of violence and it just seemed to make everything worse and in that moment he again regretted his vicious actions towards Kanaya and Karkat on the beach back on Alternia, even if a part of his mind hissed that they deserved it. They might have deserved getting punched a few times but biting off a hand and ripping out a horn was a bit overboard in hindsight. He shook his head, grimacing as a part of him still vehemently denied he was excessive in punishing them; he wasn't sure if it was Kurloz's volatile influence or what but it was making his head pulse so he sought a distraction.

"So uh, this motherfucker here is called Gamzee Makara," he decided to continue on, "You lot got names?"

Silence was his only response, before the girl moved slightly. She shifted with languid grace and a sneer so eerily reminiscent of Vriska or Meenah crossed her round face before she answered him, "Yeah, my name is Hestia Jewels."

"So what happened to that eye?" Gamzee asked, curious.

"It fell out," came the sarcastic reply.

_Charming, I see she's going to be very cooperative._

Shrugging it off, Gamzee just grinned at her, "Right on, clownsis, totally knew a fuck who got an eye all gored out 'cause she was a shit," he said before turning to the other boy, "How 'bout you?"

Staring at the Bard through his messy bangs Gamzee thought he wouldn't answer at all as the silence stretched on. Then he shifted, the fabric of his skirts rustling and he spoke in a near inaudible voice, "My. Um. My name is Koiboi Liquor."

Gamzee smiled at him, less toothy than the one he had given Hestia and said, "Well totally motherfuckin' great to meet you both. I uh, ain't meet many trolls who aren't the normal twelve. Kinda, kinda weird actually."

"You only met twelve other trolls?" Hestia butted in, voice scornful, "What'd you do, hide in your hive most of the fuckin' time?"

"What the ever fuck even is your problem?" 

"I don't have a problem, I'm just saying you haven't done fuckin' shit if you've only met twelve people- like what even is your problem, huh? Wiggler scared to leave the hive?"

"Maybe 'cause fuckers like you are around," Gamzee snapped back, fed up, "Always starting shit when none is needed. I ain't blind to how much fuckers fuck things up because they think it's funny as shit to hurt others so keep that sniff node outta other peoples business."

Hestia snarled, lips pulled back to show neat little fangs even as her claws dug into the table top. Koiboi meanwhile kept looking between them, his watery eyes flicking from Hestia to Gamzee. With a huff Gamzee leaned back in his seat, damp hair wetting the nape of his neck. The sour irritation wafting from Hestia set his teeth on edge and her hostile attitude reminded him of Meenah or Vriska, people he would've gladly gone the rest of his life never interacting with again.

"So anyway," Gamzee decided to utterly ignore Hestia for the time being, directing his full attention to Koiboi who tensed, "Uh, how'd you survive Conscription?"

There was a moment of silence, besides Hestia's scoff, during which Koiboi stared mutely at him before the troll swallowed thickly and looked away. Gamzee didn't press him and eventually Koiboi very hesitatingly spoke, "Wha...what do you mean?" 

Gamzee made an enthusiastic gesture, "You know, when those punkass motherfuck Drone fuckers all got up in our sniffnodes demanding shit. I told those fuckers to fuck their uh, their um, fuck. Wait, no I didn't. I didn't do that shit, I kinda just lay there all half dead and didn't do shit. Anyway, what?"

Koiboi stared at him, before saying, "What what?"

"No, what like _what_. What as in that Conscription shit what, 'cause I totally missed all that. Fuckin' passed out and had that weirdo clownie guy with that freakyass sweet hair stopping me from dying. Guess that shit didn't happen to you?"

"Oh," Koiboi nibbled on his bottom lip, gazed fixed on the table top in front of him before he quietly answered, "It was, uh, interesting. The Drone visited and I gave it the umm...." he trailed off, twin blotches of purple visible under his facepaint.

Hestia tried to butt in, "What do you-"

"Shut up, I ain't talking at you!" Gamzee snapped.

"Yeah well, I am! So fuck you!"

Gamzee bared his teeth at Hestia who glared right back. He still had no idea what her problem was and he was tempted to upend the table in her face. However the fear coming from Koiboi was thick enough it was smothering everything else, his fright heavy within Gamzee's thinkpan. Instantly the Bard's face became blank, memories of Kurloz rising up and helping sooth his irritation. Getting into a cursing match with Hestia wasn't something he was in the mood for as he still felt confused and disorientated, as well as feeling profoundly disappointed at not dying on Alternia.

Hestia looked like she was about to curse at him when she stiffened and cast her gaze onto the tabletop. Bemuse Gamzee glanced around before noticing the female Priestormentor walking slowly past, her bright purple eyes watching them with an unreadable stare. Neither Koiboi nor Hestia looked at her but Gamzee lifted a hand and waved, an action which seemed to please the adult as she waved back at him with a smirk tugging up the corners of her lips. Gamzee, after getting over his earlier fear brought on by disorientation and malnourished, didn't understand the panic the other youngsters showed towards the adults. Surely if they wanted to kill them they would've done so. Unless it was some kind of weird test, then Gamzee couldn't be bothered to care enough over it.

At the moment the adult, _Eminor, I guess,_ didn't seem interested in interrupting them and instead just eyed their table before patrolling towards the next. At least her presence shut Hestia up, who now irritatingly reminded Gamzee of Vriska or Meenah and a nasty part of him buried deep inside wanted to hurl the table in her face or punch her. He didn't think either scenario would end well however.

Ignoring that, Gamzee instead chose to ask Koiboi, "Oi, got a matesprit or kismesis?"

The other troll stared resolutely at his lap long enough Gamzee thought he was ignoring him but then the other youngster slowly shook his head. 

"Eh...how come?" Gamzee pressed, curiosity driving him forth, "You ain't dead so guess the Drones got that bucket fuckery done and shit, so if you ain't have any how'd it work?"

"I...negative," Koiboi spoke slowly, large eyes fixed unblinkingly upon his lap, "I was aware that...during Conscription we would be separated. For...for good or ill, I don't know. So...so, for better or worse, we um, agreed to part ways when the Empire came for us. As of now, I have no quadrants."

"Oh." _That all explains some shit, I guess._

Koiboi just shrugged, hair shifting like a jagged shadow around him, "It was better that way. No...weakness. Fresh."

Despite his words Gamzee caught a slash of grief through his mind, thick and raw, before it just as quickly vanished. Unsure what to make of it Gamzee himself said, "Guess that's better than mine, 'cause like half that shit died."

"...what?"

Gamzee flashed him a toothy smile, "Like my quadrants! I think I uh had like a moirail but like who the fuck was that one yeah? Like that fuckin' Heir who got his thinkpan blown up or that screamy motherfucker who actually didn't give a shit, but like that was a different timeline so I dunno if that counts. Think 'Tuna does, anyway had him like all over and with me, so I guess I could count him. But yeah, diamond died, then I had like a spade but not really 'cause I all up and beat her to death since a bitch wouldn't stop starting shit. Then my matesprit died 'cause like reality or some fuckery blew up. I dunno, got a bit brainstem twisting there at the end. Like what the fuck?"

Both Hestia and Koiboi were now staring at him, Koiboi completely confused and Hestia torn before scorn and troubled. Gamzee stared back at them before giving another awkward smile. Admittedly it sounded odd out loud but Gamzee didn't care; it was the truth and if they didn't understand it wasn't his fault. It's just what happened.

Deciding to continue when it became obvious neither were going to speak, Gamzee gestured off to the side, "Anyways, my matesprit chose to chill with me and get her noise on even after getting her shit fucked up, so it ain't all bad."

"Your matesprit is here? I thought she, erm, died," Koiboi said uneasily, brushing down his skirts as he looked about, as if expecting to see Gamzee's wayward matesprit lurking in one of the nearby shadows. Technically Jane _was_ standing behind Gamzee in her usual outfit of blue pants and white shirt edged in blue while shimmering faintly and translucent but it was obvious neither Hestia or Koiboi could see her.

"Yeah, she did. Like, end of reality shit and all that. Unlike those other motherfuckers who went and died and kinda got better. She kinda stayed dead but she's....still here," he ended awkwardly.

"Well, I'm glad they didn't let death stop them for long. However where is she? Can you only see her? Like...a ghost? I heard tell rustbloods can see such things," Koiboi said, ignoring the low noise of disgust Hestia made.

Gamzee gestured to where Jane was leaning against the wall off to the side. At his movement, she waved to the trolls; Koiboi looked hesitant while Hestia looked bored but it was still obvious neither could actually see her.

 _Yeah, don't think they can see me,_ Jane confirmed, _Even so, they don't seem overly concerned that you do. Must be a clown thing._

Hestia rolled her remaining eye, snapping out, "Alright so how'd she die then?" ignoring Koiboi's affronted gasp at her blunt question.

Gamzee wasn't offended, "She kinda...I dunno, the world kinda exploded? I guess, then the sky blew up or dissolved or some random shit I ain't gotta clue about. I dunno, it was fucked up, so I guess she died in it."

"Maybe she's with the Messiahs now," Koiboi suggested, "So when they, ah, collect you, you can meet her again."

"What colour was she?" Hestia spoke up again.

For a split second Gamzee wasn't sure how to respond and he shot an inquisitive glance at Jane who smiled back at him; in that moment her eyes, such a bright, softer blue than the bluebloods he knew, stood out in such vivid detail he found himself replying faintly with, "Blue."

"Hn," Heatia made a thoughtful noise and leaned back in her chair, claws lightly scraping the tabletop.

Hestia said nothing else while Koiboi and Gamzee continued made small talk, speculating about where Jane must've gone. Gamzee enjoyed the genuine concern and sloppy attempts at comfort from Koiboi, even if it was obvious he was still extremely wary and afraid of the two of them. He reminded Gamzee of Tavros, or Damara before the whole Meenah incident. Someone who was sweet and shy and just genuinely _nice_. The wave of hivesickness caught him off guard and a film of tears suddenly obscured Gamzee's vision, his words getting choked off in his protein chute. He missed them all so much, missed Tavros and his ridiculous attempts to do slam poetry with him, to his gentle confusion and consideration. He missed Damara and her shy explanations of her Japanese-troll culture and later her fairly entertaining crude manner and smoldering fury. He missed Feferi and her bright laugh and clothing, kind if not mildly condescending. He missed Meulin and the sweeps she dedicated in the dreambubbles learning his sign language so they could talk again. He missed Mituna and his curse-word fueled rants and his beautifully twisted mind which he could help straighten out and make coherent. He missed Feferi's boisterous laughter and gratuitous fish puns. He missed Porrim and her calm voice and mind, of her teasing smiles and eyes. He missed _Jane._ He missed them all.

Only seconds later was Gamzee aware that he was sobbing incoherently into his arms while a distressed Koiboi asked him repeatedly what was wrong. Even Hestia had stopped looking irritated and was staring at him in some concern as his sobbing turned into hysterical laughter before he started sucking in deep breaths as he struggled to calm down. A broad hand suddenly rested along his back and he instinctively tensed; the hand spanned the length of his shoulder blades and he knew it was one of the Priestormentors, a theory cemented by the looks of terror on Koiboi and Hestia's faces.

Trying to reign in his built-in reaction to flinch away he turned slightly and realized it was Gratia Ananke, who was kneeling down next to him. Despite being over seven feet tall, the adult's painted face was kind. He was half convinced it was a trick before he tentatively touched the elder troll's mind and the overriding emotions were concern and empathy along with an underlying tinge of pride and amusement that Gamzee was daring to try and psychically read them.

"I'm fuckin' sorry, just...remembering all those motherfucker's I ain't even gonna see again," Gamzee said with a watery smile, facepaint completely smeared and cheeks streaked with purple tears. It was more or less the truth.

The Priest simply gave a low, soothing hum, large hand rubbing at Gamzee's shoulders before they stood upright. Both Koiboi and Hestia had frozen in shock at their appearance, and Koiboi looked seconds away from fainting in his seat while Hestia's nails were digging into the tabletop and carving jagged lines. Unperturbed by the fear from the other initiates, Gratia gave Gamzee another kind smile before saying, "That is fine. Many of you wigglers have been through a lot and it is fine to mourn as you adjust."

The adult spoke so much like Meulin used to, slurred and slow with the pronunciation of words being slightly off as if they were working off memory. However they didn't scream every word like she did, which he was mildly grateful for. Gamzee would wager the Priest had been deafened at some point like Meulin had, and thus still remembered words and could speak them easily enough even if their perfect memory of them eroded over time, making some of the language sloppy. Another reminder of what he'd lost and for another moment he regretted not accepting Aradia's and Feferi's offer to go with them.

It took him almost a minute until Gamzee managed to compose himself, sniffing thickly and then giving Gratia a wet smile. The adult's own grin widened and they patted Gamzee on the back a few more times before standing up and continuing on their rounds. Gamzee gingerly wiped at his eyes but felt, weirdly enough, quite a bit better even if he was getting some stares.

"Ugh, all these adults around are freakin' me out," Hestia grumbled, finally relaxing back into her chair.

"There's only three," Gamzee said flippantly even if he agreed with her deep down. His apprehension was marred by his curiosity, however.

"Yeah but why do they give a shit like this? All the stuff I got school feedin' with and stuff is all on telling me they'd eat me as soon as look at me," Hestia hissed across the table at him, "But instead they're all caring! Well, apart from that blind fucker- how ain't he being culled anyway? Not even anythin' rolling around on them."

Gamzee just shrugged. He spent so much time stoned on Alternia he forgot basically all about school feeding and his lusus was gone the majority of the time anyway, so he had no idea how it was supposed to work anyway. Then SGRUB happened and basically everyone died or sucked in general, so he didn't know.

"How 'bout you, huh?" Hestia suddenly turned towards Koiboi, fast enough the other clown flinched.

"What?"

"You learn this shit?"

Koiboi kept his gaze focused on the tabletop, eyes blown wide before muttering, "My mothmum taught me a variety of things. This...is all unexpected. Not what I, ah, presumed."

"Urgh, blah blah blah- stop the fuckin' mumblin' and talk loudly."

"Shut up," Gamzee snapped, irritated, "He clearly doesn't wanna deal with your screechy shit so fuck off with that rudeass attitude."

Hestia bristled, purple painted lips curling back to show her fangs, "Oh so now you're his lusus, huh? Gonna stand up for this spineless little bastard, huh?"

"I will if you don't shut the utter fuck up."

Hestia looked moments from upending the table in a fury but before she could a loud _bang_ rang through the hall and making everyone jump.

"Alright, looks like a few of you are already throwing tantrums," Occhio's voice blasted forth with the subtlety of a fog horn. Gamzee wondered how he managed to pitch his voice so perfectly, even as the Prestormentor continued to speak, "So it's time for you to go back to your quarters and get some fuckin' rest since we wasted time showing them to you earlier. The next few perigees are gonna be hard, 'cause we're gonna be school feeding you some really necessary shit and being sleep deprived is a sure fire way to fuck right up. But yeah, get to your rooms and familiarize yourself with it, make it your own and yarda yarda. If you brought any personal effects from that shithole planet you can keep 'em there, since you'll be getting new sylladexes if you need 'em. Also just order food there, because otherwise you'll get loose and probably lose your shit. So fuck off."

The noise of thousands of people getting from their chairs produced a chorus of loud screeches on the metal floor. Gamzee didn't bother to move, confused as to what was even happening since he'd been unconscious and had no idea what Occhio was even talking about. Maybe he could just sleep on the floor, then.

His concern was apparently moot however as Gratia was suddenly at his side, voice soft, "I'll take you to your new quarters- you missed that while Abutor was caring for you."

Hestia perked up at that but before she could say anything Gratia lightly pressing on his shoulder and shepherded him forward. Gamzee went along obediently, still feeling drained from his crying fit and recovery. The crowd of initiates parted for the Priest and Gamzee felt their many eyes on him but he wasn't bothered or concerned over the scrutiny. Gratia's grip on him was firm, but gentle, and they left the bustle of the hall behind as the Priestormentor led him through the massive winding halls of the ship. It was all new to Gamzee, with bloody paintings everywhere and the reek of offal, sugar and carrion thick within his nostrils. The smell made him hungry actually but he wasn't sure if he should ask- after all he didn't bothering with feeling out his old friends back on Alternia and look where that got him; brainwashed and marginalized. He still didn't understand why they hated him so much and he doubted he ever would, even with Kurloz fused with him now.

"Here," Gratia stopping pulled Gamzee from his musings and he blinked up at the much taller adult. Gratia gently turned Gamzee so he could see the door they'd stopped in front of and when Gamzee squinted down the hall he saw dozen more identical doors. With a sharp noise Gratia tapped a claw on a keypad next to the door frame, drawing Gamzee's attention to it.

"This is keyed to your blood," Gratia said, voice slow and careful, "So no one can enter your space; of course we can override it but we will alert you first so you may prepare. Everyone needs privacy, and as long as you don't commit crimes against the Church, that will be respected."

_Respected._

"Oh, um, thanks biggest bro?" Gamzee said, unsure. Gratia nodded, still smiling before gesturing towards the keypad and Gamzee realized they wanted him to open the door. Feeling a bit sheepish, Gamzee reached out and then paused, fingers hovering over the pad before putting his thumb down on it. There was a small burst of heat on the pad of his thumb then the door slid open and they were inside.

It wasn't as large as his old hive back on Alternia, with the walls being uniform grey and all the lights being more of the odd skull candles. There was a kitchen area and lounge, along with a small hallway which Gamzee guessed led to the bathroom and bedroom. 

"This is your room," Gratia said slowly and clearly, "You will get different rooms when you pupate but these will suit your current needs. There will be an announcement tomorrow of where we will convene but until then you may do as you wish within reason, obviously."

Gamzee nodded, unsure of how to respond to the stranger no matter how kind they were being towards. Thankfully Gratia picked up on his uncertainty and backward away, leaving the room in careful movements. Before they shut the door Gratia signed _Sleep well,_ at him and without thinking Gamzee reflexively signed back _You too._ He caught the dumbfounded expression on Gratia's face before the door slid shut.

 _Oops,_ he probably shouldn't have signed back at the Priest, but it was automatic what with billions of sweeps as Kurloz communicating mainly through sign language. It was reflex. Either way, he was unsure if Alternia had sign language at all. Even in Beforus it was a fairly rare skill with Meulin being the only other troll he knew capable of it and even then she still had a habit of screaming her words. Something he was grateful Gratia didn't, since he was quite positive the Priestormentor was deaf like the Mage had been.

Whatever, if he did screw up he couldn't be bothered wasting time on it. Instead he decided to inspect his new room, ambling over to the fridge and opening it. It was full, mostly stocked with long live products and many of which he'd never seen. He was hungry enough he ate the entire plate of fish that was inside, uncaring of the snap of bones in his mouth as he swallowed it down. After that he ate a weird skinned bird leg, a green gelatinous substance that tasted like faygo and finished it off with going over to the sink and gulping water out of the tap.

With that he felt full and sleepy, wandering off into the living room and inspecting the couch, television and husktop. He was tempted to switch the husktop on but now after eating he just wanted to have a nap. He always liked naps and he felt overwhelmed by everything; by the Condesce, by nearly dying, by so many other trolls actually existing and not just the same boring twelve over and over. He eyed the couch, wondering if he could just sleep there but eventually Gamzee wandered off into his new bedroom; it was like his old one, with a purple-hued recuperacoon in one corner and the rest filled with empty shelves, desk and a wardrobifier. No doubt it was mainly left bare so he could personalize it later and he felt oddly touched by the Priest's accommodating attitudes.

He still wasn't sure how much of it was genuine however. Whatever, he'd deal with that when it happened and regardless a small part of him was still irritated the Condesce had stopped him from dying on Alternia. With that in mind he hefted himself up into the recuperacoon, not bothering to change his clothes as he flopped down into the thick green slime.

The smell of sopor was cloying and sweet and he had to resist the urge to roll over and eat it out of habit. He knew if he did Jane would probably show up and give him an earful over his bad habits, even if a part of him wanted to do so just so he could see her again.

 _I'm always here,_ her voice suddenly echoed firmly through his mind, _So stop fussing and go to sleep, buster._

Exhausted, Gamzee did just that.

* * *


	33. Until death do us part

  
IdeologicalYammy [IY]  has begun trolling JoyousSorrow [JS]   
  
IY: hey   
JS: |-|i.   
IY: good chat' hell mild yea   
JS: Is somet|-|ing wrong?   
IY: i guess   
IY: i   
IY: well' i guess i contacted you to tell you something really important to me   
JS: W|-|at?   
IY: i,m leaving   
JS: O|-|.   
JS: You're breaking up wit|-| me.   
IY: what? no' i,m not!   
IY: well i mean maybe???   
IY: but that shit is just a side effect.   
IY: i mean i,m leaving the empire.   
IY: i,m joining the rebellion.   
JS: Okay.   
IY: ...   
IY: that,s it???   
IY: that,s all you,ve got to say?   
IY: we,ve been moirails for nearly ten sweeps and that is all you can muster up????   
IY: i mean' i,ve been dropping hints this is what i want and i know we,ve been jamming about this shit but i would wager my declaration would warrant more than just an ,okay,!   
JS: I just said Okay because I'm coming wit|-| you.   
IY: if you don,t care well then   
IY: wait what?  
JS: I said I'm coming wit|-| you.   
IY: i,ll say it again WAIT WHAT   
JS: Don't act stupid, I know you're not.   
JS: I'm coming wit|-| you. I'll pack my t|-|ings and we can meet up at t|-|at place you mentioned last week.   
JS: On second t|-|ought I'll just grab my emergency bag and meet you- I can't risk going back to my |-|ive.   
JS: You-know-w|-|o |-|as probably already flagged this conversation.   
IY: no wait   
IY: you,re not supposed to do this shit!   
JS: Yes, |-|ow dare I be a supportive moirail?   
IY: wait you,re being serious?   
IY: you,re gonna run off and be with the rebellion with me?   
JS: Obviously.   
JS: We've jammed about t|-|is sh1t quite a lot so I don't see w|-|y you're so surprised.   
JS: Anyway being a Recorder is boring as fcuk so w|-|y not.   
JS: I |-|ate everyone I work wit|-| and I'll probably go |-|iveshit wit|-|out you |-|ere so let's go.   
IY: oh   
IY: i uh   
IY: okay this isn,t how i saw our conversation going   
JS: Stop wasting time, w|-|ere are you?   
IY: i,m near the terminus   
JS: Okay, go t|-|e place we talked about and we can leave ASAP before t|-|ey grab us.   
JS: We're too close to a carnival for me to be comfortable.   
IY: i   
IY: okay!   
IY: okay okay okay!   
IY: let,s go lets go!   
IY: i can,t believe youre actually gonna come with me i thought  
JS: We don't |-|ave time for t|-|is sh1t, we|-|ave to move!   
JS: We can pap and jam later when we're out of dodge, move it!   
IY: okay!   
IY: see you at the spot!   
IY: ◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆   
JS: ◆   
  
IdeologicalYammy [IY]  has ceased trolling JoyousSorrow [JS]   
  


  


File saved as "teal + blue diamond" to folder "Rebels."  


* * *

  
  
MAINTENANCE REPORT- TESLA SPACE STATION #76.  
AFTER THE EFFECTS OF THE STRANGE CREATURE LESSENED, WE REALIZED THERE WAS A GIGANTIC HOLE IN THE UPPER LEFT HULL.   
UNABLE TO DETERMINE JUST **WHAT** CAUSE THIS SINCE WHATEVER IT WAS HAD NO WEAPONRY OF ANY SORTS.   
SPEAKING OF WHICH WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT EVEN WAS.   
THE UFO- UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT -APPARENTLY RAMMED INTO THE SIDE OF THE STATION AND ITS PROXIMITY CAUSED THE DAMAGE.   
DAMAGE SEEMS TO BE AKIN TO LASER WEAPONRY WITH THE HULL OF THE AREA MELTED DURING THE IMPACT.   
DESPITE THIS NO STAFF DIED DURING THE INCIDENT.   
HOWEVER ANY ATTEMPT TO IDENTITY THE ACCUSED HAS BEEN MET WITH FAILURE- ALL VIDEO EVIDENCE TURNS TO STATIC WHEN ATTEMPTING TO REVIEW FOOTAGE.   
EVEN RECOLLECTION OF THE ONE STAFF MEMBER IN AREA DURING INCIDENT- FRENCI JULIAD -DID NOT YIELD RESULTS DUE TO CONFLICTING RECOUNTS AND GENUINE CONFUSION ON HER PART.   
DOES NOT SEEM TO EVEN KNOW IF THE UFO WAS MACHINE OR ORGANIC OR EVEN JUST A STRAY ASTEROID.   
AFTER IMPACT OBJECT APPARENTLY CONTINUED ON A SET PATH- UNSURE IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OR INTENTION DAMAGE.   
PLEASE ADVISE.   
AXTONE ILLIAN- TESLA SPACE STATION #76 ATTENDANT.   


File saved as "weird shit' to folder "Non troll aliens"  


* * *

  
UncoveringEmergence [UE]  has begun trolling GaiusVivarium [GV]   
  
UE: HEY.  
UE: FUCKER.  
UE: ANSWER ME.  
GV: is this what you greet all your long lost matesprits with?  
UE: CAN'T HELP IT.  
UE: I'M FED THE FUCK UP WITH ALL THIS.  
UE: I WANT THIS T0 BE 0VER S0 I CAN BE WITH Y0U. I HATE BEING SEPERATED FR0M Y0U F0R S0 L0NG. IT'S SHIT.  
GV: awww babe :(  
GV: you know i dont like this either but it's not like we have a choice.  
GV: i have to stay where i am and you have to stay where you are so we're not rounded up and fuckin' beheaded in a clusterbulge-licking spectacle in front of those backwards assholes.  
UE: 0-U  
UE: S0?  
UE: IF TH0SE FUCKS TRY T0 EXECUTE Y0U I'LL KILL THEM ALL AND TAKE Y0U WITH ME.  
UE: I D0N'T CARE IF THAT UPSTART EVIL ASS EMPRESS IS THERE, I'LL BITCH SLAP HER RIGHT UP THE FUGLY FACE AND SPIRIT Y0U AWAY.  
GV: babe so sweet   
GV: ♥  
UE: ♥  
UE: I KN0W Y0U L0VE IT.  
GV: true, like the resulting mass fighting and killing we'd do would be like fucking fantastic but we'd prob end up dead.   
UE: YEAH BUT WHAT A GLORI0US PUNCH UP, MAKING TH0SE FUCKERS PAY IN S0 MUCH BL00D.  
GV: heh, that's my girl  
GV: you still slumming it with the scuttlebeast?  
UE: URGH THAT IS SUCH A STUPID C0DE NAME.  
UE: EVERY0NE KN0WS WHO WE'RE FUCKING TALKING AB0UT- I BET THE 0BSERVER HAS ALREADY FLAGGED THIS C0NV0 BECAUSE 0F IT.  
UE: SPYING SHITHEAD. >->  
GV: aww she can't help it  
GV: anyway didnt you get that friend of yours to lock this shit down tighter than a seaweed wrapped horrorterror  
UE: THE FUCK IS THAT ANAL0GY L0L Y0U NERD.  
GV: fuck you you know you love it  
UE: TRUE.  
UE: BUT I STILL MISS YOU. 0-0  
UE: IT SUCKS, BEING APART FR0M Y0U F0R S0 L0NG, I GET S0 W0RRIED. WHAT IF THE LAST W0RD I GET IS Y0U BEING CAPTURED? I'LL BE T00 FAR AWAY T0 D0 ANYTHING. Y0U'D BE EXECUTED BEF0RE I C0ULD HELP.  
GV: hey even if i get shot through the fuck head like some screwed up moobeast ganderbulb you'll still have your moriail- he'll look after you  
UE: THAT ISN'T THE P0INT!  
GV: babe i know it isnt but we've had this conversation before- you keep on thinking about how shit can fuck up and eventually that's all you'll see. i mean, i've had some dark shit before 'cause from where you are you're way more isolated than i am. like what if you get caught? least with me they'd make a fucking fanfare outta it since im an admiral and all  
GV: but youre  
GV: fuck, youre a lowblood and mutant to boot- they'd execute you right on the spot  
UE: >->  
GV: dont >-> me, you know im right  
UE: I JUST D0N'T LIKE IT. WHY D0 Y0U HAVE T0 PUT Y0URSELF AT SUCH RISK?  
GV: because the rebels need it and the information i have from my station is invaluable for you guys  
GV: @observer put that on your fucking reports you dirtscraping shitty sack of fuckmustard  
UE: YEAH FUCK Y0U 0BSERVER.   
UE: J0KES 0N Y0U, Y0U CAN'T TRACK SHIT.  
GV: okay so taunting her aside, you sure youre okay?  
GV: i heard  
GV: i heard about the incident you had w the new ghb apparently????  
UE: HE WAS S0METHING ELSE.  
UE: FUCKING TR0LL AND A HALF IS WHAT. W0W.  
UE: BUT Y0U'RE IN THE EMPIRE, HAVEN'T Y0U SEEN HIM?  
GV: yeah but he wasn't trying to maul my fucking face off yeah? bet he was something else in a fight  
UE: 0H FUCK YEAH.  
UE: I MEAN N0T AT FIRST, WE ACTUALLY HAD A FAIRLY NICE C0NVERSATI0N? LIKE WHAT HE WAS EVEN D0ING I D0N'T KN0W -AND I WAS JUST 'HEY H0W'S IT G0ING' AND HE WAS 'SUP' S0 WE SP0KE F0R A BIT. IT WAS ACTUALLY KINDA WEIRD. I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO BE S0...CHILL.  
UE: THEN Y0U-KN0W-WH0 SH0WED UP AND STUCK HIS FUCKING F00T S0 FAR UP HIS ASS IT CAME 0UT 0F HIS M0UTH AND B00M FIGHTING.  
UE: BUT HEY BEF0RE HE WAS TRYING T0 KILL US IT WAS PRETTY G00D.  
UE: HE'S S0 FUCKING HUGE TH0UGH?  
UE: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN.  
UE: H0W CAN A TR0LL ACTUALLY BE THAT LARGE.  
GV: yeah like i remember when that clowntastrophic mess up grabbed for the first time and i nearly lost my shit   
GV: sheesh it was like nothing then BANG giant ass clown grabbing me and being an excited wiggler about random shit i couldnt keep track of like the fucktactula what   
UE: HA.  
UE: BUT LIKE Y0U'RE FRIENDLY WITH HIM?  
GV: eh  
GV: wouldn't really say that, like he hasn't tried murderlizing me or anything so i guess that's kind of a bonus  
GV: he does kinda seem like a cool kinda meowbeast once he stops acting like a faygo-fried wiggler but it was still kinda hard to feel him out  
UE: 000 FEEL HIM EH? GET DIRTY TH0UGHTS, Y0U CL0WN FUCKER.  
GV: hey like i'd go near that fanatical behemoth  
UE: S0UNDS LIKE A DARE T0 ME.  
GV: you serious  
UE: OH C0ME 0N HE MAY BE A CL0WN BUT HE'S A L00KER. HE'S S0 HUGE, I BET HE'S A GREAT HUGGER.  
UE: IT'D LIKE BEING WRAPPED UP BY A GIANT, MAD, IMM0VABLE WALL 0F MUSCLE AND HAIR.  
GV: he uh  
GV: he did hug me  
UE: 0-0  
UE: WHAT, WHEN.  
GV: when we first met he just grabbed my ass and hugged the shit out of me. i felt like my fuckin thinkpan was gonna leak out of my ears like shit  
UE: 000H NICE. 0~0  
UE: DID Y0U C0P A FEEL.  
GV: i happen to like having my fuckin arm attached to my body okay, not having it torn off and being beaten to death with it.  
UE: A DAAAAAARE.  
GV: okay you know what?  
GV: if the condesce does get fuckin ganked you can go ask makara for a threesome or something  
UE: ACCEPTED.  
UE: MY FEMININE WILES WILL LURE THAT CL0WN ASS INT0 0UR C0UCH F0R A VICT0RY PAIL.  
GV: oh fuck  
UE: JUST Y0U WAIT AND SEE, I'LL PULL IT 0FF.  
GV: i'm pretty sure your friends will loose their shit if that happens  
UE: WELL FUCK THEM, THEY CAN DEAL WITH IT. I FIGURED WE'D NEED A WAY T0 SWAY THE CHURCH ANYWAY IF WE D0 KILL THE C0NDESCE.  
UE: SINCE THEY'RE TECHNICALLY N0T PART 0F THE EMPIRE S0...  
GV: yeah and offering the new ghb some ass is the way to do it lmao  
UE: HEY, AT LEAST I'M 0FFERING S0ME 0PTI0NS RATHER THAN AN0THER BL00DY WAR THAT'D PR0BABLY TEAR THE EMPIRE IN HALF.  
GV: i didn't say no  
UE: 0o0  
UE: 0KAY, WE'LL PUT THAT IN THE T0 D0 LIST.  
GV: in all honesty if we sooth him that way i actually wouldnt be so worried ha ha even if i'm very skeptical itll work that way  
UE: CAN Y0U MAYBE TRY S00THING HIM 0VER 0N Y0UR END?  
UE: C0NSIDERING MY STATUS HE'D MURDER MY ASS 0N SIGHT- MAYBE WE'LL HAVE AN0THER CHAT LIKE LAST TIME BUT I W0ULDN'T BET 0N IT.  
UE: Y0U'RE IN A BETTER P0SITI0N T0 HAVE A CIVIL C0NVERSATI0N THAN I AM.  
GV: the fuck am i gonna say, huh  
GV: 'oh wow those rebels have some good shit'  
UE: >->  
GV: well i dont fucking know how the shit am i supposed to open that line of conversation  
UE: Y0U G0T T0 TRY.  
UE: 0R AT LEAST...PR0BE CAREFULLY.  
UE: SUBTLE THINGS- I TRUST Y0U T0 KN0W WHERE THE LINE IS.  
GV: first you worry over my violet ass getting killed for traitorous behaviour and now you're saying i should be some troll lady beth in his audio duct   
GV: which is it  
UE: HEY HEY, D0N'T Y0U D0 THAT.  
UE: Y0U KN0W WHAT I FUCKING MEAN AND IF Y0U GET KILLED THEN I'M G0NNA HAVE T0 0FF MYSELF AND BEAT YOUR CARELESS ASS IN THE AFTERLIFE 0R WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS.  
GV: alright alright  
GV: go get a papping you clearly need it  
UE: N0 I FUCKING D0N'T, I'VE HAD EN0UGH PAPPING LATELY. IT'S THE 0NLY QUADRANT I SEE LATELY, JUST AN ENDLESS BARRAGE OF PAPPING.  
UE: S0 MUCH FUCKING PAPPING.  
GV: :(  
UE: 0n0  
UE: I AM PISSED WITH 0UR CURRENT SITUATI0N, 0KAY?!  
UE: I WANT Y0U HERE, N0T STUCK IN THAT SHITTY EMPIRE SURR0UNDED BY ENEMIES.  
UE: FUCK ALL THIS SECRECY. I HATE IT.  
GV: i know babe :(  
GV: i want you with me too  
UE: IT'S RIDICUL0US!  
GV: i know, but we gotta stick with it  
UE: I CAN'T EVEN TELL MY FRIENDS AB0UT Y0U, BECAUSE S0ME DUMBFUCK MIGHT BLAB 0R A PSYCHIC WILL WIGGLE INT0 THEIR THINKPANS. I HATE IT S0 MUCH, I FEEL LIKE Y0U'RE A DIRTY LITTLE SECRET 0R S0METHING.  
GV: you havent told anyone?  
UE: WELL MY M0IRAIL KINDA KNOWS, BUT I'VE KEPT IT VAGUE AB0UT WH0 Y0U ARE AND Y0UR RANK. HE KN0WS Y0U'RE A HIGHBL00D AND IN THE EMPIRE TH0UGH BUT THAT'S AB0UT IT.  
UE: AND MAYBE MY EX. I DUNN0.  
GV: what?  
UE: MY EX M0IRAIL L0L  
UE: L00K IT DOESN'T MATTER, N0 0NE REALLY KN0WS APART FROM ME.  
UE: BUT I JUST WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE T0 BE SEPARATED F0R S0 L0NG. WH0 KNEW A REBELLION WAS S0 FUCKING ANN0YING URGH.  
UE: THAT FEARLESS LEADER 0F 0URS NEEDS T0 KILL THAT HAG-BAG C0NDESCE ALREADY, I'M SICK OF WAITING. IT'S EVEN MORE STRESSFUL THAN THE ACTUAL FIGHTING.  
GV: well least you dont have to deal with other admirals like fucking shit i thought my time as a wiggler was bad with all the drama???  
GV: i ate those words oh wow did i  
UE: SHEESH IT'S THAT BAD?  
GV: FUCKIN YEAH!  
GV: like you get paranoid to shit over everything and this whole situation w the church has made it so much fucking worse  
GV: one part of the board love the idea, the others hate it and the rest are just wary. add that w all the fuckin backstabbing and usual petty shit and i want to rip my horns out  
GV: like yea we got some new admirals like thank fuck but some of them newbies are  
GV: i dont know  
GV: weird  
UE: WEIRD H0W?  
GV: well one of them has some weird mutation where she can spit out poisonous needles  
GV: and another is  
GV: fuck im not sure how to describe it   
GV: theres just somethin weird about him, like just somethin unnatural  
GV: i could've swore ive seen him use some strange magic shit before  
UE: MAGIC?  
GV: yea  
GV: its the only way i can think to describe it  
GV: its rather creepy  
UE: KEEP AN EYE ON HIM THEN. IF HE D0ES MAGIC SHIT HE MIGHT FIND 0UT Y0U'RE WITH US.  
GV: dont worry i will  
GV: though all this shit is kinda exhausting, having so many paranoid as fuck seadwellers lurking around me  
UE: THAT'S WHY WE NEED Y0U, THERE'S 0NLY S0 MANY SPIES F0R US WH0 ARE THAT HIGH RANKED.  
UE: I THINK A FEW 0THER ADMIRALS ARE? FUCK IF I KN0W WHICH TH0UGH. BUT YEAH KEEP AN EYE 0N THE NEWBS.  
GV: ehhh you dont know? thought all you lot did it gossip and get into fights  
UE: HARDY HAR.  
UE: THAT'S 0NLY PARTIALLY TRUE. BUT YEAH, WE HEARD ABOUT THE NEW GHB TH0UGH THAT CHANNELS SINCE Y0U KN0W THE CL0WNS WILL HANG THEMSELVES BEF0RE TURNING TRAIT0R. WHAT THE FUCK THEY D0 T0 GET THAT L0YALTY IS PRETTY FASCINATING T0 THINK AB0UT, IN ALL H0NESTY.  
UE: INTERESTING BUNCH, TH0UGH.  
GV: yea they're kind weird  
GV: some can be really nice which is strange as well  
GV: certainly didnt think the new ghb would be so fuckin chipper  
GV: considering all the fucked up shit ive heard about this ancestor you know?  
UE: 0H YEAH.  
UE: BUT HEY MAYBE Y0U CAN USE THAT? JUST TRY TO KEEP...I DUNN0, TRY T0 BE FRIENDS 0R S0METHING. BUT N0T T00 CL0SE, SINCE HE'S A PSYCHIC AND ALL.  
GV: we talked about that remember?  
GV: dont worry, ill be careful  
GV: anway apparently he just likes huggin people he did the same thing to the abbitoir by all accounts   
UE: HA REALLY?  
UE: MUST BE AN ALARMING EXPERIENCE.  
GV: yea not looking forward to if it he tries it again but i cant really tell him to fuck off  
GV: well uh  
GV: i mean i can but  
GV: but i dont think thatll turn out alright  
UE: YEAH...  
UE: BUT I'M KINDA GLAD WE KN0W HE'S N0T JUST AN ASSH0LE, Y0U KN0W?  
UE: WE CAN W0RK WITH THIS, AND WH0 KN0WS MAYBE IF WE WIN THE WAR AND GET A NEW QUEEN WE CAN ALS0 NEG0IATE WITH THE CHURCH WITH0UT MASS DYING.  
UE: I'M TIRED 0F ALL THE DYING AND BEING AWAY FR0M Y0U.  
GV: i know  
GV: i want this over as well  
UE: I JUST  
UE: I'VE HAD DEATH H0VERING 0VER MY BACK F0R S0 L0NG.  
UE: I TH0UGHT I'D ESCAPED IT, WHEN WE G0T 0FF ALTERNIA. WHILE THERE I ALWAYS HAD THE GH0STS SPEAKING TO ME, TELLING ME H0W THEY DIED LIKE EVERY 0THER FUCKING RUST. THEY HAUNTED ME AND I WAS S0 GLAD I WAS FINALLY G0ING T0 BE 0FF THAT PIECE 0F SHIT R0CK AND AWAY FROM THEIR WHISPERINGS.  
UE: LIKE A NEW BEGIINING.   
UE: BUT L00K AT WHAT HAPPENED.  
UE: DEATH IS STILL AFTER ME, I CAN'T ESCAPE IT.  
UE: I TRY TO REMAIN HAPPY, TO REMAIN 0PTIMISTIC BUT I'VE BEEN SURR0UNDED BY DEATH F0R S0 L0NG I D0N'T KN0W WHAT T0 D0.  
UE: ALL WE D0 IS RUN HIDE AND FIGHT.  
UE: I HAVE MY M0IRAIL BUT IT'S N0T THE SAME WITH0UT Y0U AT MY SIDE AS WELL.  
UE: AND I'M  
UE: I'M W0RRIED.  
UE: AB0UT US.  
GV: what????  
GV: what did i do?  
GV: is it because i dont give a shit about the whole signless reborn thing????  
GV: i swwear ill stopp compalingh abotu it  
GV: pleads dont bjreak up weht me!  
UE: N0 N0 N0!  
UE: CALM D0WN THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!  
UE: I'M S0RRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, I D0N'T WANT T0 BREAK UP!  
GV: i  
GV: okay  
GV: just fucking fuck please dont open with that shit again???  
GV: near scared the fins off me  
GV: look at my fucking keyboard vomit  
UE: I'M S0RRY.  
UE: IT CAME 0UT WR0NG.  
UE: I'M JUST W0RRIED  
UE: I'M JUST W0RRIED THAT IF I D0 GET NEWS THAT THE EMPIRE KN0WS Y0U'RE A SPY THEY REALLY WILL EXECUTE Y0U.  
UE: AND IF THAT HAPPENS  
UE: I'LL FUCKING KILL THEM ALL.  
UE: AND I MEAN ALL 0F THEM- THE GRAND HIGHBL00D AND THE C0NDESCE INCLUDED. I W0N'T CARE, IF THEY HURT Y0U I'LL KILL THEM.  
GV: babe you know what'll happen if you kill the condesce  
UE: I KN0W.  
UE: AND I D0N'T CARE.  
UE: I'D D0 IT ANYWAY.  
UE: Y0U KN0W FULL WELL IF I G0 FUCKING HIVESHIT I ACTUALLY STAND A G00D CHANCE AT KILLING THAT EVIL PIECE OF SHIT.  
UE: MY M0IRAIL KN0WS THIS AS WELL.  
UE: BUT  
UE: I'M TIRED 0F BEING S0 SELFLESS.  
UE: 0F GIVING PARTS 0F MYSELF UP F0R 0THERS, FOR TAKING 0N THEIR BURDENS AND DIFFICULTIES THAT I NEVER ASKED F0R.  
UE: S0 IN THIS ASPECT I'M CH0SING T0 BE SELFISH.  
GV: im so flattered, scared and weirdly turned on right now  
UE: HEHEHE!  
UE: Y0U SEADWELLERS ARE ALL THE SAME- Y0UR MATESPRIT PR0MISES BL00DY VENGEANCE F0R Y0U AND SUDDENLY Y0UR BULGE IS THRASHING.  
GV: pfft  
GV: but really babe  
GV: i get it  
GV: if you get killed i'd murderlize the fucker who did it consequences be damned   
UE: BUT YEAH.  
UE: THAT'S WHAT HAS ME W0RRIED. I MEAN MY M0IRAIL UNDERSTANDS BUT HE'S THE 0NLY 0NE WH0 KN0WS WH0 Y0U ARE. 0R AT LEAST A G00D IDEA, SO IF I CHARGE OFF AND KILL THE C0NDESCE AND KILL THE WHOLE FUCKING TR0LL RACE...  
UE: I D0N'T KN0W.  
GV: we'll cross that bridge when we get there babe  
UE: ALRIGHT.  
UE: BUT I JUST WANTED Y0U T0 KN0W THAT.  
GV: it was real sweet of you to say  
GV: but yeah lets hope it doesnt come to that  
GV: because like  
GV: if YOU die and i kill the person responsible  
GV: then id just stop caring about the whole rebellion shit  
UE: Y0U W0ULD?  
GV: yeah  
GV: please dont die  
GV: i dont care about the rebels and their whole freedom shit  
GV: i dont care about the heiress and the whole signless reborn fuckery  
GV: i dont care about any that  
GV: im doing this all for you  
GV: and i dont  
GV: i dont think i'd be able to keep doing it, putting myself at such risk, for all the rest of them as shitty as that sounds cause i dont care about them  
GV: i dont give a fuck about them at all  
GV: just you  
GV: i love you  
GV: so please  
GV: be careful  
UE: I L0VE Y0U T00.  
UE: ♥  
GV: ♥  


UncoveringEmergence [UE]  has ceased trolling GaiusVivarium [GV]   
  


  


File saved as "violet and rust plottin" to folders "Anti Empire" and "Rebellion."  


* * *

  


  


  
RepentantQuill [RQ]  has started trolling OriginalEuphonious [OE]   
  
RQ: we need to talk  
OE: Wow sounds sɘrious?  
RQ: dont joke  
RQ: and it is  
RQ: *sigh*  
OE: Alright alright, dɘar matɘsprit of minɘ.  
OE: What's got your brainstɘm in a twist?  
RQ: i know  
OE: Yeah, gonna havɘ to bɘ a littlɘ morɘ prɘcisɘ.  
RQ: you went and saw _him_  
OE: What?  
RQ: him  
RQ: as in  
RQ: the scuttlebeast  
OE: Oh.  
OE: Look  
OE: I didn't rɘally plan it, okay?  
OE: It's just somɘonɘ from my sɘctor just kinda mentionɘd it and I was curious and  
OE: Wɘ'vɘ bɘɘn so wrong Margoh, so wrong.  
RQ: wrong¿  
RQ: what are you talking about¿  
OE: About ɘvɘrything!  
OE: Look, I know thɘ ɘmpire is likɘ...hugɘ and all but sɘriously, if you just wɘnt to sɘɘ him and saw him and hɘard him talk...  
OE: And thɘ Hɘirɘss was thɘrɘ!  
OE: I nɘvɘr would'vɘ bɘliɘvɘd it if they said shɘ'd be attɘnding but she was!  
OE: And thɘy wɘrɘ talking and answɘring questions togɘthɘr, I've never sɘɘn anything like it!  
OE: Thɘy'rɘ apparɘntly moirails, can you bɘliɘvɘ it?  
OE: A mutant crimsonblood and a tyrian!  
OE: It's likɘ somɘthing out of a fantasty book.  
RQ: would you stop¿¿¿  
RQ: i cant believe you!  
RQ: you ran off to listen to two lunatics talk about what, some hoofbeastshit about peace¿  
RQ: the fuck is wrong with you¿  
OE: You wouldn't understand, you wɘrɘn't thɘrɘ!  
OE: Yɘah, it sounds really wɘird likɘ that but bɘliɘvɘ mɘ you'd understand if you wɘnt.  
RQ: what i understand is that youre risking your life listening to two maniacs who dont know shit¡  
RQ: and risking mine¡  
RQ: you know if someone is caught with this rebellion shit their quadrants are interrogated as well¡  
RQ: do you really care so little for me¿  
OE: Why arɘ you saying such things?  
RQ: because you clearly dont care¡  
RQ: running off and doing dumb shit like this¡  
OE: Wɘll maybɘ I'm sick of thɘ ɘmpire, you ɘvɘr think of that?  
OE: Maybɘ I want to bɘlieve things won't be so shitty!  
OE: Maybɘ I will one day not havɘ to livɘ in fɘar of dying duɘ to somɘ highblood's ragɘ anusrɘum, or wind up hookɘd to a machinɘ with my thinkpan turnɘd to mush!  
RQ: so you're more important than the rest of us¿  
OE: That isn't what I said!  
RQ: okay you know what, im not debating this with you¡  
RQ: you've already done it, you've already basically put a death sentence on us all for your stupid and reckless behaviour¡  
RQ: and while   
RQ: and while i love you i cant  
RQ: i cant loose the rest of my quadrants  
RQ: i spent all last night thinking about it and i cant  
RQ: i cant put them through that  
OE: I  
OE: Margoh, what did you do???  
RQ: i told them this morning  
RQ: they'll be there soon to detain you  
RQ: in return they will leave me and my quadrants alone  
RQ: im sorry  
RQ: it was a risk i couldnt take  
RQ: especially since you never bothered to tell me about it first  
OE: What???  
OE: Why would you do this?!  
OE: Is mɘ wanting to not livɘ in fɘar my ɘntire lifɘ such a fucking horriblɘ opinion you chosɘ to do this???  
RQ: im sorry  
RQ: please forgive me  
OE: Why  
OE: Oh shit they'rɘ hɘrɘ  
OE: Margoh wh  
  
OriginalEuphonious [OE]  has gone offline!  
  
RQ: im sorry   
RQ: but you left me no choice  
  
RepentantQuill [RQ]  has ceased trolling OriginalEuphonious [OE]   
  


  


File saved as "betrayal" to folders "Anti Empire" and "Scuttlebeast mention."  


* * *

  


  
IMPORTANT- SHIP WIDE MEMO   
Good evening my dears, this is your admiral ℜaylun Yunale speaking!   
Now, we may know of an unpleasant situation where we had a legislacerator investigation last week?  
Well great news!   
Turns out four of you on my ship were spies for the rebellion!   
Hehehehe isn't that just grand?   
IT FUCKING WAS, WASN'T IT?   
DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING EMBAℜℜASSED I WAS WHEN THIS HAPPENED?!   
THAT SOME OF YOU DUMBFUCKS AℜE HELPING THOSE STUPID ANIMALS OUT THERE THROWING THAT ℜEBELLION?   
THAT YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO DO SUCH A THING WHILE UNDEℜ MY COMMAND?!   
Now I haven't been a bad admiral, have I?   
I take such good care of you all, I'm like a lusus almost!   
Almost like one, since I look after you and feed you and DON'T FUCKING KILL YOU AT THE DℜOP OF A HAT FOℜ DOING THIS KIND OF UTTEℜLY STUPID FUCKING SHIT!!!!   
FUCK YOU, DOING THIS SHIT AND DℜAGGING MY NAME THℜOUGH THE MUD.   
THIS IS A FUCKING WAℜNING NOW, THAT IF I CATCH EVEN A ***WHIFF*** OF DISSENT, AND COMPLAINING ABOUT ANYTHING FℜOM THE COFFEE MAKEℜ TO THE GℜUBLOAF MACHINE I'LL SEND YOU TO A FUCKING CAℜNIVAL FOℜ A GℜAND OLD WEEKEND!   
AND WE ALL KNOW HOW GℜEAT THAT IS!   
SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.   
AND I I CATCH ANY OF YOU FUCKEℜS DOING THIS SHIT AGAIN   
IT'LL BE THE BLEEDING VATS FOℜ ALL OF YOU!   
Now   
GET BACK TO WORK.   


  


File saved as "shit boss" to folder "Admirals."  


* * *

theosophicalTheia [TT]  has begun pestering canteringTorricellian [CT]   
  
TT: Hello, Equius?   
TT: My apologies if I seem invasive.   
CT: |)=> Not at all, I was simply preoccupied.   
TT: I can contact you at a different time, if I'm a bother.   
CT: |)=> No, no. I'm just spending time with my moirail but otherwise we're not indisposed.   
TT: Nepeta is with you?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
TT: Could you pass along my greetings? I know she still feels a bit uncomfortable with talking to me directly.  
CT: |)=> Okay.   
CT: |)=> She says thank you and returns the hello.   
TT: Are you sure I'm not intruding?   
CT: |)=> Yes, we're sure. We were just enjoying each others company without any important scenarios occurring.   
CT: |)=> Now, why have you coaltracted me? Is it about something more serious or simply conversation?   
TT: A bit of both, if you're amendable.   
CT: |)=> Ask away.   
TT: Thank you.   
TT: Now, I've given it some thought and even thought we successfully killed the Observer and stole her information it would take us a thousand lifetimes to comb through everything we took from her dying moments. Even then, reports could cause things to be lost and I wish to ask you questions about the Empire and trolls within it.   
TT: I can understand if the conversation is distressing and you would rather not.   
CT: |)=> No, it's fine.   
CT: |)=> I appreciate your caution but am willing to continue- likewise Nepeta is willing to offer up whatever information she possess on the topic as well.   
TT: Very good, then I can begin.   
TT: While I believe all of us are aware of how dangerous that evil hag in charge of the Empire is, the other potential dangers in the Empire are something we are still unsure of. Due to the siege on Earth trolls are just everywhere and humans are forced into...extreme defensive measures so our spying is difficult.   
TT: Needless to say we are aware of the dangers of the Church. In particular your missing Bard of Rage.   
CT: |)=> Yes, I have fought him before.   
CT: |)=> It...was not pleasant.   
TT: You fought him?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> Truthfully I believe we both would have died in the ensuring fight however two other Subjugglators joined the fray and I was forced to flee or die.   
TT: There is no shame in running away, especially if the only outcome is death.   
CT: |)=> Indeed; foalishly dying in a situation where you could escape and live to see another day is a waste and solves nothing. Dying for pride solves nothing.  
CT: |)=> Dying in a belief is another thing altogether, yet it must be the right one. I've already died for something as petty as caste and refuse to do so again.   
TT: True. At the moment humanity is dying for our right to survive, yet that is mainly a desperate struggle.   
TT: But we already know we're currently fairly screwed so let us continue with our original intent.   
CT: |)=> Very well.   
CT: |)=> So you're already aware of the dangers of the Church and those who dwell within. While they are considered the most dangerous there are other Empire affiliated trolls who are very volatile individuals.   
TT: If I may briefly interrupt?   
CT: |)=> You may.   
TT: How many of your group has gone rogue? We know Gamzee is an integral member of the Church but other than that I'm unaware of who else may be a potential hostile.   
CT: |)=> Serket and Ampora are not part of our group anymore but Serket was never affillyated with the Empire. I believe she galloped off to try and emulate her Ancestor.   
TT: Groan.   
TT: I remember reading over the saved pesterlogs with John she had- she honestly kept hanging onto that ridiculous dream about her slaver rapist Ancestor?   
CT: |)=> You knew of Mindfang?   
TT: Due to my Class I tend to have more clarity with my memories. I remember many a day bored out of my mind about that ridiculous Serket's monologue- the Dancestor version. Truly I expected better from her, but then again if those other memories I posses are true she's responsible for a Doomed timeline.   
CT: |)=> Vantas began referring to such incidents as 'Serket Stupidity.'   
TT: Ha! Fitting, I admit. So will she also become a problem?   
CT: |)=> No, she was captured by the Church more than a sweep ago and there has been no reports of her since apart from Pyrope receiving a severed limb in the mail. As a taunt or a...rather morbid gift, I am still unsure.   
TT: Well.   
TT: That's fairly reminiscent of the Godfather. As long as she didn't find a decapitated head in her bed.   
CT: |)=> What.   
TT: Nothing, just a human thing. But at least that's one threat crossed off our list. So what happened with Eridan?   
CT: |)=> He's an admiral, so it is a certainty he is somewhere on your planet.   
TT: So considering he's the most powerful combination, a Prince and a Hope player, he could potentially be a formidable opponent.   
TT: However we haven't encountered him yet, which is interesting.   
CT: |)=> Most likely he's precoltupied and I am unsure if he holds any hostilities towards you humans in particular.   
TT: Considering he hasn't attempted to seek any of us out I would assume such, however I will make sure the others are aware of his presence here.   
TT: Hmm...   
CT: |)=> What?   
TT: Nothing, just contemplating things over.   
TT: But it appears you lost three of your number.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
TT: Unfortunate.   
TT: It seems as if events are repeating themselves. Ah well, out of the frying pan. At least one of them is dead more or less so she won't screw things up. Eridan is a potential wild card akin to Gamzee, especially considering the fusion of Classes. I'll pass that on.  
CT: |)=> Nepeta says I should mention the Overseer, however he seems a moot point. His Descendant, however, could be an issue.   
TT: Ah.   
TT: That is the head slaver you mentioned before?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> He is an incredibly dangerous individual, what with his mutation and natural blueblood strength. In terms of strength he is even strong than myself.   
CT: |)=> However as the head of the Empire slave trade he typically does not leave the planet the majority of the Empire slave trade is located on. On rare occasions he will leave, but not for invasions beyond coltsulting the Condesce. Typically he sends his Descendant.  
CT: |)=> He did briefly appear within Earth, however that was to deploy his Descendant and afterwards he returned to his home pasture and remains there.   
TT: You know a lot about him?   
CT: |)=> We keep as close a eye on him that we are able, yes. The Overseer typically does not hide his activities however.   
TT: Hmm.   
TT: What of his Descendant? Is he just as dangerous?   
CT: |)=> Cuffes is...   
TT: Cuffes?   
CT: |)=> That is his true name, Zhanna Cuffes. I dealt with him when I was still associated with the Empire.   
TT: Oh!   
TT: We actually found a log detailing that incident- him alerting the Legislacerators about your um, potential rebel affiliation.   
CT: |)=> Tr001y?   
TT: Yes, it was a discussion   
  
theosophicalTheia [TT]  has sent canteringTorricellian [CT]  the txt. file 'teal/blue diamonds romance'.  
  
CT: |)=> This is   
CT: |)=> Interesting.   
TT: I knew I heard that name somewhere.   
CT: |)=> I admit, I may have reacted with my behoofviour after learning his career choice yet I had no idea he was responsible for my interrogation.   
CT: |)=> That is   
CT: |)=> Very interesting.   
TT: So is he as dangerous as his Ancestor? Since you seem familiar with him.   
CT: |)=> He isn't, actually. He is weaker, slower, uncertain.   
CT: |)=> While us bluebloods typically have extremely high constitutions and psychical strength we still must practice extensively to foally use it. Raw potential is not enough and the reason I am where I currently am is mainly influenced by my numerous memories of various timelines.   
CT: |)=> While Zhanna is older than me, being over two hundred sweeps in age, he is still very young and inexperienced in terms of our typical race thus it would be some time before he hits his strike. His being stifled by the powerful shadow of his Ancestor most likely does not help his growth.   
TT: So he's a greenhorn?   
CT: |)=> No, he is a blueblood.   
TT: Er, that isn't what I meant. A greenhorn is someone who is good, has potential, but lacks the experience and knowledge to fully apply it.   
CT: |)=> Oh.   
CT: |)=> Then yes, that is what he is.   
CT: |)=> His psychics are also far less accurate and damaging compared with his Ancestor yet he's still fairly dangerous but no where near the level of the Overseer. Time would obviously change that but now he should be someone you could potentially kill.   
TT: Psychics?   
CT: |)=> Yes- he possesses a second set of eyes, just above his usual ones. It is the genetic disorder he inherited from his Ancestor, the one which causes controlled explosions. With Cuffes he lacks the finesse his Ancestor has with this ability so his are not as powerful.  
TT: I thought the Empire killed mutants.   
CT: |)=> Only if they are Lowbloods.   
TT: That is just   
TT: That is ridiculously unfair.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
TT: Urgh. Why am I even surprised is the better question. The Empire consistently proves it's just a fucking terrible place that needs to be burnt to ashes with the ground heavily salted.   
TT: Christ almighty.   
TT: Well, righteous rage aside at least more powerful rusts, yellows and browns don't seem to be the norm. They are annoying enough as it is.   
CT: |)=> You've dealt with many?   
TT: More than I like- most tend to be the strange enslaved lowbloods, the ones who are wearing what seems like a more bastardized version of Jane's old tiara top.   
CT: |)=> Ah yes, them.   
CT: |)=> The warmer colours appear in far greater numbers during each spawning and the Empire typically uses them as canon fodder. These groups, up to twenty or even more, are usually held by a single Controller.   
CT: |)=> The Controller is most often than not a blue of some shade. The more psychics enslaved to them the higher their bloodcaste to allow prolonged usage and experience from age.   
CT: |)=> Killing the Controller instantly kills the psychics underneath their control.   
TT: So tracking the directing signal from their headgear and killing the owner would render them all inert?   
CT: |)=> They also explode when their Controller dies.   
TT: Of course they do.   
TT: Why would it be fucking simple. Though it's a good insurance policy, I'll give them that.  
TT: Could there be the potential to free them? Dirk and Roxy managed to kill a few Helmsmen when the Invasion began, by infecting a vulnerable code and causing massive heart failures and general life system shut down or other such irregularities that either caused them to die or for the ship to loose power long enough to crash.  
TT: However from the reports we've gotten about the psychics, at least the ones planet side, they still have all their limbs. Not twisted up in that vile tentacle machinery.   
TT: So could there perhaps be a way to free them from their servitude but also prevent them from dying if their Controller is killed?   
CT: |)=> I am unsure.   
CT: |)=> As far as I know most attempts are to simply kill the Controller to put them out out of their misery.   
CT: |)=> Not to save them. The mental state of the enslaved psychics is unknown- Pyrope attempted to mind walk one, but felt nothing so it was assumed their minds were so deeply suppressed it was as if nothing was there. Even with Helmsmen there was a flicker of their minds trapped within the enslavement but their bodies and minds were still so badly broken death was the only kindness we could offer them.   
TT: Have you tried, at least?   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Nepeta wishes for me to tell you there are worse things than death and sometimes dying is the greatest kindness one can receive.   
CT: |)=> That being said she approves of the idea of attempting to free them. You humans seem to have that mentality of attempting to save rather than kill.  
TT: It is...   
TT: Is this line secure?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> Due to both Captor's and your efforts. These are direct links.   
TT: Ah forgive me, I know as much I just....   
CT: |)=> Paranoia is just as much as our enemy.   
TT: Indeed.   
TT: That said, being a Seer of fortune leaves a lot to be desired. I have so many paths twisting through my mind I do not know which one to take.   
CT: |)=> Pyrope has complained of the same however our classes and aspects mesh in fascinating- and sometimes abhorrent -ways. Unfoaltunately our Light player is indisposed so you cannot even ask her for insight. Have you tried speaking to Pyrope or Vantas? Perhaps they could offer some advice on controlling your Seer abilities.  
TT: I fear it may be a moot point. My Light abilities within the Game seemed to function upon Doomed timeline opportunities and learning through them. Even then, it is passive mostly beyond flashes of insight during fights. I am the conductor, not the orchestra.   
CT: |)=> I do not understand that phrase.   
TT: Hmm, let me see...   
TT: I am the blueprints, not the machine?   
TT: Not very accurate but my fucks are nearly all out I'm afraid.   
CT: |)=> Ah, I believe I understand what you meant.   
CT: |)=> Still, passiveness is not to be scoffed at. Sometimes watching and watching for the moment to strike is just as important as the foaling action.   
CT: |)=> Sometimes.   
CT: |)=> Not always.   
CT: |)=> ...   
TT: You're preaching to the choir.   
TT: Hmm, another music analogy.   
TT: But I understand. Still, it's frustrating since know I have so much to See. Migraines are a constant companion of mine.   
CT: |)=> I sympathize with you, as I've had many instances of confusion regarding my other lives due to the Doomed timelines and fusion with Horuss. However due to my recreation of myself I possess a rare clarity and understanding of those previous memories so I am unsure of what advice I could potentially offer. However, I can try my best if you wish.   
TT: It's fine, this is my burden to bear.   
TT: But back at hand- are there other notable trolls on Earth that we should be aware of?   
CT: |)=> Many- however I fail to see how this could help since there is such diversity within their abilities.   
CT: |)=> Some we have never fought before and can offer no advice on how to combat.   
CT: |)=> Every troll within the Empire is dangerous, some more than others and you have already killed one of the most dangerous- the Observer.  
TT: Such a terrible fate. At least she was free.   
TT: Poor thing even took her last moments to give a swan song.   
CT: |)=> What?   
TT: Her final message, which Roxy and Dirk decoded. It was sent to the Condesce's ship- directly to the Helmsman.   
CT: |)=> ...   
TT: Do you want me to tell you it?  
CT: |)=> Yes. If it was something she managed to utter of her own free will, then it would be disrespectfoal to not hear it.  
CT: |)=> To acknowledge it.  
TT: Very well, here is what she said-  
TT: 'Free, goodbye Mituna.'   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Mituna.   
TT: Yes.   
TT: She addressed the Helmsman by his true name, the name of the one within the Dreambubbles but how he was within the re-set timeline after the first troll session failed.   
CT: |)=> He is still the same one, even after so many sweeps?   
CT: |)=> How long has he been imprisoned as a ship engine.   
TT: Too long.   
TT: And from what Dirk and Roxy understand, before her death the Observer- or Compes Lector, as her name was -would ping many of the helmsmen within the fleet, just sending little parcels of garbage code that meant nothing to anyone looking for something suspicious, but enough that if you looked through the timeline you'd see a pattern.  
CT: |)=> Contact. Acknowledgement.  
TT: What?  
CT: |)=> That is what Nepeta says- that even just knowing there are others out there, even if you know they are suffering just like you, can be one of the few things that enable you to hold on.   
CT: |)=> If that is taken away, then there is nothing.   
TT: ...Yes. I can understand, even if I hope to never fully comprehend.   
TT: I would guess the only thing she had for her was the small notion that she could contact others like her. And with Mituna, the Helmsman, I would wager he was one of the more fully coherent Helmsmen due to his age and power level.   
CT: |)=> Indeed.   
CT: |)=> From what we know the Helmsman and Observer were one of the few who've had their lives artificially lengthened through the Condesce's influence, so they could potentially have been one of the few alive long enough to grow a familiarity through their mutual suffering.   
TT: At least one of them is free.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
TT: But this has me thinking, if Mituna is alive and so is Meenah, what other Ancestors of yours could be living? They seem to be influential in the larger scheme of things.   
TT: Since the Vast Glub never occurred for your species and thus killed all but the Empress due to your group starting the Game, there could be other Ancestors of yours alive.   
CT: |)=> We have looked into that.   
CT: |)=> Some Ancestors, such as Maryam's, Vanta's, Nitram's, and Nepeta's are all dead.  
CT: |)=> That lot died far before us all, with many being the core of the initial rebellion and Sufferist movement.  
CT: |)=> Serket and Pyrope's Ancestors died from what we got from her journal.  
CT: |)=> Since otherwise for those two there was no mention of them- the only one we could find of Pyrope's was in the old files when she was working as a Legislacerator, detailing how Redglare failed one of her jobs and died as a result.  
TT: And Vriska's?   
CT: |)=> We found no information of her and after many attempts we determined she still died to the Summoner's hand yet was completely irrelevant to the rebellion itself. So it stands to assume her paramour killed her before she could squirm her way into the spot light.  
TT: ...I should not find that so amusing, yet here we are.   
TT: And what of the last three, Eridan's, Gamzee's and Aradia's?   
CT: |)=> Megido's.....   
CT: |)=> Is difficult to understand.   
CT: |)=> She has done her best to explain it, and from what we knew the Damara of that universe was enslaved by the First Guardian of our planet.   
TT: Doc Scratch.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
TT: Ah, I thought I was so smart, trading barbs with him and getting into verbal fencing matches.   
TT: Or...written fencing matches. Whatever you'd call it.  
TT: He still managed to make me dance right to his true while I thought I was the one playing him- even fooled me into getting that tumor and destroying the Green Sun which just gave birth to Lord English in the first place. I was channeling Icarus quite strongly back then with my hubris and I paid for it with my wings burning off in the Light that I blinded myself to.  
CT: |)=> You were a wiggler.   
CT: |)=> We made many mistakes when we were that age and was given the chance to live again so we could learn from them and live.   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Which we have inflicted upon your race yet again.   
TT: Okay, I'm going to have to stop us both there- the pity parties are fun and I'm glad you invited yourself along to bemoan alongside me, but I feel we keep on sneaking out to these raves all the time and self-flagellating ourselves.   
CT: |)=> I only understood half of what you said.   
CT: |)=> The rest was...interesting.   
TT: I meant we need to stop bemoaning the past and how we fucked up so badly as children in a shitty Game that punished and killed us all so often.   
CT: |)=> Oh.  
CT: |)=> Well then yes, I agree.   
CT: |)=> Back to the topic at hoof- our Ancestors.   
CT: |)=> Mine is unaccolted for and was apparently banished for his inability to kill the Signless's Disciple. While that occurred many sweeps ago, due to his bloodcaste he could potentially be alive.   
CT: |)=> Yet since he would share an Void aspect, I believe trying to track him down would be a waste of resources.   
TT: I agree, if he is in banishment I believe he would be kept in isolation and thus could be completely unaware of the current state of the Empire. Unless he reveals himself and is hostile, I share your opinion.   
TT: The next?   
CT: |)=> Ah yes, Aradia's Ancestor. I touched on it briefly, but she was enslaved by Doc Scratch and existed outside of the timelines. Thus, when we returned and the Green Moon had vanished so did any instance of her.   
CT: |)=> While there are still small stories of the Demoness of our race, Aradia believes her Ancestor was wiped from existance when the game died.   
CT: |)=> So that is her taken from the equation.   
TT: Which just leaves Eridan and Gamzee as the two with viable Ancestors?   
CT: |)=> No, they also have dead Ancestors.   
CT: |)=> The Grand Highblood killed Dualscar- apparently it was quite the scandel from what Pyrope found out since Dualscar was a lusus hunter for the Empress herself.  
TT: Lusus hunter?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> In our original world he would hunt lusus to feed Gl'bgolyb but since she did not exist when we were restored he apparently hunted lusus to feed the Condesce.  
TT: I see...   
CT: |)=> But either way he died to the Grand Highb100d.   
TT: I thought Gamzee was the Grand Highblood? Though I would wager my time is fairly off.  
CT: |)=> It is.   
CT: |)=> This occured back before adult trolls were banished from Alternian, inbetween the time of the Signless and the Summoner's rebellions.   
CT: |)=> Which was...many hundreds of sweeps ago.  
CT: |)=> Between the time of the two rebellions Dualscar was killed by the Grand Highblood- Makara's Ancestor.  
CT: |)=> Then he died to the Summoner and vice versa.  
TT: So they reached a draw?   
CT: |)=> Yes and the compromise was that they both died.   
CT: |)=> The Church had not inogurated a new Grand Highblood after Makara's Ancestor until he took the vacancy in the last few sweeps.  
CT: |)=> But that is what we have found, through extensive research through old files, gossip and tales.  
CT: |)=> Both on the Empire's side and the Rebellion.  
TT: Which means the only Ancestors left alive are the Condesce, the Helmsman and potentially yours.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> But I do not believe he will be a threat if he still lives.  
TT: That is some releif, I feel.   
CT: |)=> It is.   
CT: |)=> I admit, some part of me is curious if I could find the one who lent me my bloodline especially considering his most deifning trait was his act of mercy towards my moirail's own Ancestor.   
CT: |)=> So I do wonder occasionally.   
TT: Once this war is over and if we win, perhaps you could go searching for him?   
TT: I feel- and please stop me if this is too bold -that it would be beneficial if you and Nepeta left on such a quest, to get away from all the paranoia and bloodshed of the Empire since even if Feferi wins I doubt the Empire would go back to its Beforus state.   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> ...   
TT: Did I step over my bounds?   
CT: |)=> No, Nepeta likes the idea.   
CT: |)=> It was just   
CT: |)=> We tend to not think about 'afterwards' which I now feel is a disservice.   
CT: |)=> It is just extremely dangerous, our current situation, so entertaining might-bes can be a distraction.   
CT: |)=> In our current predicament such things can be fatal.  
TT: True, but if you refuse to think things can improve you'll find yourself in a rut.   
TT: In many cases such a belief is all we have left to us.   
TT: We   
TT: We have to believe things will get better otherwise what even is the point.   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> My apologies, I did not mean to sound as if I am mocking you.   
CT: |)=> Your idea does sound like one that would be benefical to me and Nepeta.   
CT: |)=> I think...   
CT: |)=> That after everything it would be good to get away from it all.   
CT: |)=> While I do care for my companions being around them for so long can be taxing, and in some cases I do no wish to speak to many of them due to things that have occured through our little rebellion and sojourns.   
CT: |)=> The memories associated with them are, in many cases, not pleasant.   
TT: Trolls in general do not have pleasant upbringings so it is understandable.   
TT: Regardless, my suggestion was simply food for thought.   
CT: |)=> And it is a good one, the more I think it over and Nepeta agrees with me.   
CT: |)=> When or if we win, it could be something we may spend time on.  
CT: |)=> After we spend some time on your home pasture- though obviously that would be with your humans consent.   
CT: |)=> It would be understandable if you wish for no trolls to set foot if the Condesce dies.   
TT: True.   
TT: But as it were, I would not be adverse to speaking to you and Nepeta in person- I admit, I did not expect our conversations to be so pleasant.   
CT: |)=> There is enough strife within our lives to be wasting on creating hostilities among fellow like-minded herds.   
TT: Precisely.   
TT: With that in mind, I would look forward to meeting you in person.   
TT: Assuming, of course, we live.  
CT: |)=> Something that is at the edge of all of our think pans.   
CT: |)=> But...   
CT: |)=> In that trial of thought....   
TT: Yes?  
CT: |)=> Have you gotten any word from your lost mare, Jane?   
TT: ...   
TT: We did.   
CT: |)=> I do not take it that it was good news.   
TT: We received a package from someone called 'Abutor Vulnus'.   
CT: |)=> Ah.   
TT: That name means something to you?   
CT: |)=> Yes.   
CT: |)=> A very unpleasant fellow who is part of the Church- one of the oldest Subjugglators and Doctorturers in the fleet.   
CT: |)=> Has a...very thorough understanding of how the body works.   
TT: Yes, he seemed a right prick when we read his note.   
TT: Either way, we found Jane's left hand in the package.   
CT: |)=> Hm.   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Nepeta wishes for me to pass on something, but it may be unpleasant for you to hear.   
TT: Lay it on me, I love bad news.   
CT: |)=> It is not bad news persay.   
TT: ?   
CT: |)=> If you only received a limb, especially something as small as a stray hoof, there is actually an immensely high chance your friend is still alive.   
CT: |)=> If there is one thing I've learned with the Empire is that the clowns enjoy playing with their food, like meowbeast toying with a squeakbeast.   
CT: |)=> Is Jane a high profile human in your society?   
TT: Well   
TT: Yes.   
TT: She was in control of Crocker Corp, which was just as world wide spanning as it was within Roxy's session. Obviously there was no global domination on our end, but the strong influence is there. Jake used to joke she was the new Empress.   
CT: |)=> So she held a great deal of power?   
TT: Yes.   
CT: |)=> Then they will not kill her right away.   
CT: |)=> They may dismember, torture and mutilate her, but they will not kill her outright. Her status will protect her from that.   
TT: ...   
CT: |)=> Forgive me if that came out wrong, but Nepeta wishes that I stress that to you- that you still have a chance to save your companion, or at least retrieve her alive before she is broken.   
CT: |)=> Like the rest of us who lived through the game, there is quite a lot of resilience.   
CT: |)=> If the war will tr001y end with the Heiress then there is an extremely high chance you will recover her while she is living and with recoverable injuries.   
CT: |)=> Especially since our ship should reach your system within a week.   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Should being the word, though I still do not fathom how we'll reach your planet when it's surrounded by a sizable force but that is something we'll deal with when we get there.   
TT: I see.   
CT: |)=> It may be unpleasant to hear, but it means she has a chance.   
TT: No, no, it's quite alright.   
TT: Some of us had assumed the trolls had dismembered and eaten her...   
CT: |)=> No, not if they know of her importance.   
CT: |)=> They are very good at not just causing physical pain, but emotional pain.   
CT: |)=> If they know how important she is, they will draw it out and thus there is your chance.   
CT: |)=> As grim as it is.   
CT: |)=> You simply must trust she can survive until help arrives- either through her own hoof or your own.   
CT: |)=> Erm.  
CT: |)=> Bad choice of words, I think.   
TT: Oh let it be, it's just an expression.   
TT: But still   
TT: Thank you.   
CT: |)=> Please do not thank me.   
CT: |)=> This is hardly the least I could do for you and your breed. You do not deserve any of this.   
TT: Still, I appreciate what you're doing- certainly better than some of those morons.   
CT: |)=> Ah yes, I heard about a few of those instances. Especially with Vantas and Maryam.  
TT: Yes well, they deserved it.   
TT: Jade had every right to shout at her.   
CT: |)=> The Witch.   
TT: Yes.   
TT: Actually that's how they got on the Subjugglator ship in the first place- Jade managed to teleport Jane and Roxy on board.   
CT: |)=> Tr001y?   
CT: |)=> That is quite a feat.   
TT: Indeed- especially considering the ship wasn't even in our atmosphere.   
CT: |)=> You are proud.   
TT: Of course I am, I'm so proud of all my family.   
TT: I probably shouldn't be telling you this since it's 'sensitive information' but fuck that.   
CT: |)=> Well if it would cause you ease I could tell you some classified information about us.   
TT: Like what?   
CT: |)=> Uh.   
CT: |)=> Well I guess you already know about Nitram and Megido having wings, along with Vantas and his b100d colour...   
CT: |)=> I have my intangibility but that's a given.   
TT: Ah the Void power? Another essential, as Roxy used that while she and Jane were on board to kill the Observer.   
CT: |)=> Impressive.   
CT: |)=> We had thought of the idea before, but it was always scrapped due to the sheer danger.   
TT: Do not under estimate us humans.   
CT: |)=> Never.   
CT: |)=> You excell at whatever you set your thinkpans to and succeed at everything we failed at.   
CT: |)=> You tr001y are the only good thing we brought through our influence in Sgrub.   
TT: I...   
TT: Thank you.   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> :3   
TT: What.   
CT: |)=> What.   
TT: Equius what was that?   
CT: |)=> What was what?   
CT: |)=> Nothing happened.   
TT: Don't you avoid it, what was that little cat smiley back up there?   
CT: |)=> There was no such thing.   
CT: |)=> Clearly the communication link between us is compromised and we should desist.   
TT: :3   
CT: |)=> What   
TT: :3   
CT: |)=> You will stop.   
TT: :3   
TT: >:3c   
CT: |)=> No.   
TT: >;3c   
CT: |)=> Stop that.   
TT: You built your own grave, now you lie in it big boy.   
CT: |)=> No.   
CT: |)=> I will not.   
CT: |)=> I'll rot outside.   
TT: >:3c ~~  
CT: |)=> Stop.   
TT: Oh come on.   
TT: One more for luck.   
TT: Nepeta, help me out here.  
CT: |)=> She does not approve of your   
CT: |)=> What arje youfzdn  
CT: |)=> stooypit   
CT: |)=> ...   
TT: Go!   
CT: |)=> (^・o・^)   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Oh for goodness sake.   
TT: Ha ha, we have it!   
TT: I am sorry to say Equius, but clearly you were out voted.   
CT: |)=> So it would seem.   
CT: |)=> Would you stop laughing   
TT: ?   
CT: |)=> Not you, I meant Nepeta. I lost some of my hair in that squabble.   
CT: |)=> Hmph.   
CT: |)=> Well no matter.   
CT: |)=> I should leave you to your devices- clearly this conversation is making everyone giddy and out of sorts.   
TT: :)   
TT: Either way I enjoyed it, excusing the morbid parts.   
TT: I do thank you for it.   
CT: |)=> Of horse.   
CT: |)=> And Nepeta would like you to know she will speak with you if you want to contact her directly- or either way, we are seldom apart.   
TT: Of course, I'll hold you to that.   
TT: Along with meeting you two in person, when we win this war.   
CT: |)=> You mean i   
CT: |)=> ...   
CT: |)=> Yes, when.   
TT: Be careful, Nepeta, Equius.   
CT: |)=> And you as well, Rose.   


theosophicalTheia [TT]  has stopped pestering canteringTorricellian [CT]   
  



	34. The four sweeps at clown college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guest starring [Buturi Bartah & Yandah Yubahn](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3219614/chapters/7007564).
> 
> Special mentions go to [Lands of Explorer Shenanigans](http://lands-of-explorer-shenanigans.tumblr.com/), [Perfectly Unseelie](http://perfectly-unseelie.tumblr.com/), [Mesmiraculously Mirthful](http://mesmiraculouslymirthful.tumblr.com/), [Theladysyk0](http://theladysyk0.tumblr.com/) and of course the many lovely anons who spoke to me on my [tumblr](http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/). They gave me a lot of great ideas about this chapter and stuff that happens within the Empire, so thank you! :o)
> 
> The Condesce's recipes- croquembouche suggested by [orlesiantrash](http://orlesiantrash.tumblr.com/)  
> and Flame on the Iceberg AKA Baked Alaska suggested by [whatisaybmi](http://whatisaybmi.tumblr.com/)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But yeah, got to the point where I just had to post this since I've already taken a ridiculous amount of time on this and it's not even that good lmfao so yeah, it gets a bit choppy, but I was literally running outta word count :/

When he woke up six hours later, it took Gamzee a few sluggish moments to remember everything that had happened. He remained lying in the thick sopor, nose filled with the sweet, citrus-rich smell, gazing up through the entrance of the pool sized recuperacoon and at the plain steel ceiling above. Carefully he began to mentally run through all the events that'd passed since his collapse on Alternia, from the Condesce to all the strange adult trolls, to his grief-ridden breakdown over his loneliness and longing for past friends and wigglers. Even as he thought that more tears stung at his eyes and Gamzee was tempted to roll over and cry himself to sleep again like he kept on doing on Alternia. However his curiosity over powered his grief at the moment and he heaved himself out of the 'coon with a grunt, green slime clinging to his body. 

Ambling over to the bathroom opposite the bedroom revealed more basic necessities and Gamzee just chucked his clothes on the floor and had a bath. While scrubbing himself free of sopor he inspected the burn marks on his arms; most of the twisted scar tissue was barely visible on his grey skin and he was still a bit bemused at what that Abutor troll did to help him. The only healers Gamzee really knew of were Life players and Sylphs but he was pretty sure Abutor said he wasn't one. But then Gamzee didn't know if Game mechanics still worked like they used to in SGRUB and Kurloz didn't know either.

Thinking more about the Game just gave him a headache and quite frankly he still wasn't in the mood to ponder over what might be a result of the Game and what wasn't, so instead he finished cleaning up and wandered back to the bedroom and approaching the wardrobifier. It was basic but Gamzee didn't care and within moments was fully clothed again, wet hair dripping onto his black shirt and face freshly painted. With that done he went into the lounge, sitting down on the floor before checking his sylladex and strife deck; his Godtier clothes were still there and in his strife deck he was bemused to find the Warhammer of Zillyhoo and the Black Inches whip alongside all his clubs. Gamzee ejected the two weapons and inspected them, running the long whip through his claws before resting the brightly coloured hammer across his lap. He wasn't sure why he kept these, or even _how_ he kept them. If anything a part of him was a fairly convinced SGRUB was just some fever dream but he still had physical momentous from it so obviously that wasn't right.

On the tail end of that though he ran a hand down his face, feeling the three diagonal scars and frowning. That could mean he was still a Bard or a Prince. After all, he helped Aradia with her severe anger problems, essentially destroying the rage within her but he still didn't really know what a Bard did. Then again he couldn't remember quite a bit of things while as Gamzee- being stoned and mind controlled for a large portion of it didn't do his memory any favours. At least Kurloz never had that problem.

Regardless, after staring at the whip and hammer for a few more minutes he put them back inside his strife deck before getting off the floor and checking the husktop, poking at the thick worms wiggling in the powerbox before switching it on. His claws hovered over the keys as he went to automatically log into trollian as his typical 'TerminallyCapricious', suddenly reluctant to log in as that handle. He'd only briefly used his trollian account when he was restored on Alternia, and the few parts he saw where either maddened rages or insults against him. That, and there was Aradia's massive rant which she'd written entirely in Damara's old dialect. Being taken into the Church could potentially mean he found a new home- even if he was still unsure whether or no the Priestormentors were being sincere or if it was just some elaborate trick.

Either way he didn't really want to be reminded of his old troll friends, as he didn't really have many fond memories of them so after a few long moments of thinking, he deleted his old username out of the prompt box and made a new account, calling it 'TeutatesCapra' after some contemplation from himself and Kurloz and then clicking on his blood colour. He'd start of fresh. Time would tell if that turned out terribly or not.

It turned out the network within the adult ship was far better and extensive than anything he'd found on Alternia. It was mainly due to Kurloz's influence that he found himself looking up the Church and trying to get a vague idea of what they were actually about; he certainly knew how _his_ personal faith worked but on the whole he had no idea how the Church functioned. As it was he could barely find anything on the troll network- most of it being speculation, heresy and conjecture so he decided to put that on the back burner along with various other things. He was pretty sure that blind adult troll, Occhio Mutare, mentioned more lessons so he'd guess he'd find out then.

Then Gamzee shifted his attention to trying to find out more on the Empire; pre and post SGRUB he didn't care enough, too stoned to really bother with but with Kurloz's more sinister and observant personality augmenting his own he now felt more far more attentive and wanting to _know_.

He did get distracted when he found grubtube however, deciding to toil through the videos he found there and loosing his original purpose. A lot were strange or gore-filled but he eagerly started watching ones that had alien species. To his disappointment none of the aliens matched any he'd ever met such as the imps, carapacians and consorts. Or even humans and Cherubs. It was assumed but it still left a bitter taste in his mouth knowing they didn't exist in the universe he found himself in. Then he got distracted when he somehow ended up watching quadrant videos. There was something weirdly soothing about watching trolls give each others bath or feeding one another and made him ache for all the time he spent with Jane and Mituna, seeing to their hurts and spending time with them, caring for them. Mituna was not as bright and vibrant as Jane, but Kurloz had eons of sweeps of experience and memories of the yellowblood and their Diamond. He was a warm, pale undercurrent while Jane was a rapid sparkling waterfall above; easier to see and so much more vivid but not fully smothering that which lay below.

Gamzee felt so tired.

He wasn't sure how much time passed where he was simply staring blankly at the glowing husktop screen, eyes swimming with unshed tears and ragged claws digging into the fabric of his pants but he was jarred from his misery and nostalgia from a loud knock at the door. Gamzee blinked, confused, but the noise sounded again and he knew he wasn't just hearing things. With a grunt he got up and ambled over to the door, rolling his shoulders before pressing a button on the panel next to the frame. With a soft _woosh_ the door slid open, revealing the tall figure of the sickle-horned Priestormentor, Gratia Ananke.

For a moment Gamzee thought he was hallucinating but then the Priest smiled and spoke, "You slept well?"

"Uh, yeah? Pretty good digs and shit we got here," Gamzee answered, blinking owlishly.

"Good. We have somewhere to be," as before, Gratia's words were spoken clearly and slightly slurred.

"What's up?"

"The Condesce wishes to meet you."

Gamzee frowned, "What? The Empress wanna get her see on with me? Uh...Why?

"Yours is not to question- however I would gather she is curious about you and you owe her your life. Please follow me," Gratia said in a terse voice before turning and striding away with Gamzee hurrying to keep up with his much shorter legs, still baffled as to what the Condesce even wanted with him.

Despite the Priestormentor's brusque demeanor Gamzee could sense great agitation from the adult; whatever the Condesce wanted to speak to Gamzee about Gratia clearly didn't approve of as even with his psychics reigned in Gamzee could seen the deep unease coming from them. Maybe the Condesce was going to kill him or torture him or something. Gamzee couldn't really see the logic in that since she rescued him on Alternia but then again she was a Peixes and they weren't especially well known for their coherent reasoning skills or rational mindsets.

Speaking of which, he didn't know how the Condesce could even meet him- he was fairly sure this was a Subjugglator ship. So what the Empress was doing here was beyond him, even if she'd dropped him off to Abutor earlier. Surely running an Empire required a lot of attention, or maybe the Condesce preferred a hands off approach. He didn't know either way.

"I thought this was a clown ship, so why is she here?" Gamzee couldn't help but ask. Gratia didn't respond and after remembering Gratia was deaf Gamzee tugged on the Priest's ponytail until he had their attention and he repeated his question.

"It is," Gratia said, "But the Condesce's vessel is still connected to this one so you can meet her in the throne room of the Battleship Condescension. She does that often, during Conscription. She has...close ties with the Church."

"Ah, and that has something to do with a motherfucker like me?"

Gratia gave him an unreadable look before shrugging, "It may- I cannot speak for the Empress's mind. She shall let you know when you meet her however I do not think she intends to kill you."

Gamzee found the whole thing still confusing, since he wasn't sure why the Condesce even wanted to bother with him since she'd just found him half dead; not exactly a good first impression. He was pondering on it long enough he was only briefly aware of them using a long cylindrical hallway which connected to Subjugglator ship and the Condesce's. He was torn from his musings at the sight of space being only a plane of glass away, staring out at the sparkling stars and gleaming blackness until Gratia gently took his shoulder and led him on.

The first thing Gamzee noticed when they stepped onto the Battleship Condescension was the change in atmosphere; with the Church vessel Gamzee could smell blood and sugar combined with the dimly lit corridors and cool air. The Empress' vessel had strangely moist air, which caused droplets to start clinging to his skin, and the floors were made from billions of tiny gold coins. The lights were weirdly bright and the ship seemed oddly deserted; Gamzee could feel minds at the edge of his reined in psychic sense but as Gratia led him down the slick corridors they actually only came across a single seadweller. The adult looked at them with a cold violet stare and sneered but otherwise made no comment but Gamzee didn't miss the way her eyes lingered on the symbol on his chest which made Gamzee bare his teeth at her and Gratia to hiss softly.

All too soon Gratia stopped and Gamzee ran right into their back, getting a faceful of hair in the process and stumbling backwards. The adult turned, and gestured towards the massive doors they had halted in front of; they were made from solid gold and embedded with thousands of gems, with dozens of tyrian coloured ones put in a particular pattern in the middle and Gamzee had little doubt of what they were standing in front of.

The throne room of Her Imperious Condescension.

Gamzee swallowed nervously, confused of what exactly he was going to do inside and feeling irrationally unsure of himself as he looked the great doors over again. The Condesce was a breed of troll Gamzee didn't really want to be around, and he still felt an undercurrent of rage towards the seadweller for her actions within the Game even if it had been a mildly differing version of herself and he was quite sure the one he was about to meet had no memories of SGRUB anyway.

Gratia, however, didn't look at happy either when Gamzee looked at them, with their face twisted into a disapproving frown as he watched. When the Priest noticed Gamzee watching them they quickly said "Go inside; I will wait out here until you are done. I do not think she means harm but remain respectful and careful of yourself," Gratia added, buck teeth sinking into their lower lip.

Inhaling loudly Gamzee nodded and stepped past the adult and carefully approached the doors. When he got only a few feet away the massive things swung inwards without a sound and with a sigh he went inside the vast room. He barely had time to glance back and see Gratia's painted face set into a frown when the doors swung shut behind him.

Trapping him inside the throne room with the Condesce.

A sharp whistle caused him to snap around, squinting down the gigantic hall; at the far end he could faintly make out a figure with massive hair and bright horns beckoning him so he grimaced before obediently walking forward. It took him nearly a minute to reach the Condesce and he kept on getting distracted by the things within the room as he walked; the only lighting were from the thousands of troll skulls decorating the towering walls, the candles casting a soft, honey coloured glow across the room and were making the huge piles of gold sparkle brilliantly. Many of the glittering piles were taller than his hive had been on Alternia and there were numerous scatterings of gems across the room like flowers, such as rubies, sapphires, topaz, emeralds and amethysts, with the reflecting of the light from the candles glowing and refracting from the gems that kept on snagging his attention, almost transfixing him as he walked to the other end of the room in a daze.

Even the tiles on the floor were made from large smooth slabs of pure diamond and a part of Gamzee wondered at how wildly Vriska and Meenah would've reacted to the sheer amount of wealth within the room. Gamzee didn't really care for it bu the shininess of everything kept snagging his attention, much less when he looked up at the roof.

Dangling from the ceiling on threads of spun gold were hundreds, if not thousands of ancient troll wings of various colours, shapes and sizes and he was so distracted by the grisly sight he very nearly walked into the Condesce's foot, only snapping out of his trance at her throaty chuckle. He instinctively hopped backwards which only caused the Condesce's pink lips to curl into a smile as he gawked at her, trying to shake off his daze.

She was bigger than he remembered- or at least he was now coherent enough to appreciate her sheer size. Her jewel-encrusted golden trident was propped up along one of her broad shoulders and her colossal mass of black hair spiraled out behind her like a giant storm cloud. Piercing the tresses were her gigantic horns, brilliant and polished and reaching up to the ceiling in strong arches. The Condesce sparkled almost as much as the room, with golden hoops through her wide, flared fins and dozens of brightly jeweled rings adorning her hands and thick bands of solid gold encasing her muscular arms. Her broad legs were crossed and she tapped her foot against Gamzee's shin.

"You like ma pretties?" she grinned, voice thick and husky.

"Yeah, shiny," Gamzee muttered, trying to tear his gaze away from the glowing bands and gems adorning the Condesce. It was no use; he'd always had a weakness for sparkly things be they gold coins or faygo and right now the Condesce was the brightest thing in the room and she commanded his attention.

She laughed again and then nonchalantly tossed her golden trident off to the side. He winced as it clattered loudly on the diamond tiles but then was distracted when the Condesce shifted over on her throne and patted the small space next to her on the chair.

Gamzee blinked, not really understanding her intent until she patted the space on the throne again, saying in a soothing yet commanding tone, "Come on, buoy."

It suddenly struck Gamzee by how vastly different the Condesce was from Meenah. While they both had the same sharp-toothed grin the Condesce absolutely radiated an easy power, a sheer overwhelming vibe of violence and status surrounding the Empress when he noticed even while lying down half-asleep. Meenah was just an entitled brat playing ruler; the Condesce was the real deal.

A bit bemused Gamzee tentatively crept forwards. A part of his mind knew it was dangerous to get so close to an adult seadweller but a sense of calm descending upon his thinkpan; now that he really thought about it he wouldn't really mind if she killed him right then and there and if she wanted to toy with her food first, well he guessed he deserved it for all the screw ups he made in the Game. A belated punishment for everything he failed at.

With that in mind Gamzee shrugged off his budding fear and walked up to the Condesce and then awkwardly sat on the throne next to her. Being this close Gamzee was immensely aware of how big the Condesce was and, when she rested a hand on the nape of his neck, how easily she could kill him. He didn't mind the thought. If anything it was rather welcoming.

Rather than breaking his neck however the Empress simply started stroking his nape before moving her hand to his shoulder blades and rubbing at them in circular motions. Her hand was big enough it could span half of his upper back and she could easily break his entire shoulder if she wanted but instead she just carried on patting him, an odd crooning noise coming from her mouth as she did so. Gamzee didn't care, instead leaning back into his touch; a voice nagged in the back of his mind he shouldn't be letting her do this but he'd been alone and he missed being touched like this, like he mattered. A few bitter tears slid out from his closed eyelids and immediately the Condesce gathered him in her muscular arms, hugging him against her broad chest like some kind of scalemate.

This close the Condesce's scent filled Gamzee's nostrils; he easily recognized the scent of blood and the familiar tang of sea salt, reminding him of his old hive next to the ocean. He hoped Feferi was safe.

He strained slightly against the Empress but the Condesce's arms were like bars of iron; she barely budged as he wiggled and he gave up after a few moments, slumping against her broad chest with his legs sprawled across the side of her muscular thighs. It felt awkward and near claustrophobic in her grip, considering the near possessive manner she was holding him.

"Yo, you are so motha gulbin' cute," the Condesce murmured, her rich voice reverberating heavily through her chest that Gamzee was lying against, "You shoal look like 'em, just fuckin' mini yeah?"

"Who?" Gamzee asked, blinking as her hands pressed him harder against her sternum. He was fairly sure he'd have to break something to tear himself out of her grip, she was so big and strong. He was used to being the tallest in his group. Now he felt so small compared with the ancient troll who was snuggling him like a toy.

The Condesce started stroking his tangled hair, saying, "Whale, I guess it kinda issa superfishoal lobstervations, but you are reel fuckin' cute and look just like my ol' buoy did. Like except those rips on your face. Who was da motha glubber did this to ya, hmm?"

There was a dangerous edge there, a vicious snarling undertow to it as the Condesce's long, pink-painted claws sank into his hair and scratched his scalp. Gamzee just let out a huff of air, fairly uncaring as he replied, "Ain't much of a problem anyway, already killed the one who did it." He didn't feel inclined to explain to her said person had also been brought back to life.

He felt more than heard the contented hum in response, the deep noise reverberating through the Condesce's ample chest and making his teeth chatter briefly.

"Alright, but don't you be worryin' 'boat that ship anymore," the Condesce said after a beat of silence, her hand still patting him, "Imma take _reel_ care of you."

Gamzee frowned against her chest, "Why?"

"'Cause of loads of ship, yeah? But you ain't worry that lil' skull of yours, lotsa sweeps left to get as close barnacles, so be reel shore we're gonna be seain' wave more of each otter," the Condesce crooned, "We'll hash that ship out later."

He shifted uneasily in her grip, the coldness of the ancient seadweller's body slowly seeping through his clothes and chilling his flesh. While he naturally had a low body temperature the Condesce was even colder and with his face being pressed against her buxom chest he could easily hear the powerful slow _thump_ of her bloodpusher, the beat far slower than his own. The hug was so different from the one he'd have with Jane, who was small and warm, not cold and huge. He had been the larger one with her, with Jane liking to sit on his lap whenever they were resting. She had been soft and hot blooded, even hotter than Aradia's rusted blood. The Condesce's skin was dense and unyielding, her body so cold it was almost like cuddling up against a block of ice. 

However the rhythmic stroking, combined with the soothing coldness and iron-like hug began to drag Gamzee back into sleep. He still felt so exhausted even though he'd just been asleep barely an hour before and even though the Condese's hug was foreign and possessive he couldn't stop his eyelids from sliding shut and slumping against the Empress as she cooed, voice deep and thick.

* * *

The next moment Gamzee was blinking blearily and found himself lying on a pile of thick blankets back in his new room with Gratia sitting crosslegged on the ground next to him. The Priest paused in their staring at the wall to look him over as the Bard yawned before easing himself upright.

"What happened?" he asked groggily.

Gratia frowned, saying slowly, "You fell asleep. I brought you back here when the Condesce was done...patting you. I..." the adult trailed off, expression shifting into something oddly apologetic.

"Why am I so fuckin' tired?" Gamzee groaned, getting back to his feet on unsteady legs and ignoring their agitation. He still felt woozy and disorientated, while his scalp itched as if it was covered in bugs. He didn't really want to think about the Condesce's weird behaviour towards him before; her hug had been all _wrong._ He greatly preferred Jane's.

The Priestormentor stood up as well, movements fluid and easy as they spoke, "Sometimes, when you've been hurt and are still recovering you'll find yourself sleeping a lot- the body heals faster during slumber and activity when awake can stress injuries on the mend. So it is quite normal, especially with how...prolonged the damage to you was. You will be tired for quite some time until you fully recover."

"Okay."

"There will be a ship-wide announcement quite soon which will direct you where to go so we may begin our lessons."

"Okay."

Gratia gazed at him for a moment longer before they dipped their head slightly and, without another word, turned and left Gamzee's room. The Bard stared after the departed adult, a part of him wanting to ask the Priest to stay with him but something else choked down the words. A fear of refusal or even potential violence; he was used to it from his old 'friends' but it didn't mean he looked forward to any repeats.

A part of the Bard wanted to roll over and sleep some more but the gnawing hunger in his stomach made him drag himself off the pile and to the fridge, where he scoffed down several strange green meat cubes that tasted like lime Faygo. As he shut the fridge door, he blinked, seeing his reflection in the gleaming silver surface as easily as a mirror.

It was then Gamzee realized there was a mark in the center of his brow; the imprints of lips, painted in vibrant fuchsia pink.

* * *

By the time Gamzee had finished washing up in the tub, still feeling inordinately tired, when a voice suddenly spoke in the quiet room and made him jump. For a split second he thought he was in the Game where one player could control the world of another but when the voice started speaking he quickly realized that wasn't the case and instead was voicing through an inbuilt speaker in the corner of the living room.

The voice wasn't one Gamzee had heard before, with it being husky and almost hoarse, but it was one akin to someone Kurloz had known. It reminded him of how Damara had spoken and he grinned up at the ceiling as the voice spoke, _"Attention all initiates, please make your way back to the grand hall- there you will be split into smaller groups and your lessons shall begin to mold you into true followers of the Messiahs. If you refuse, a Priest shall be sent to fetch you."_

Gamzee waited a few moments, dripping water onto the bathroom floor, before accepting the announcer was done. With slow moments he got dressed, hair still damp and skin wet but he didn't care. The clothing was plain and he briefly missed his aspect clothes; he liked purple and Jane seemed to find the Bard outfit entertaining though he could never understand why. She just laughed and kissed him when he tried questioning it, unsure if she was mocking him.

He missed her and her ghost hadn't arrived yet. He wondered if she was tired. He was unsure if ghosts or chucklevoodoo projections got tired.

Without further dithering he left, not bothering to put on shoes as he wandered down the vast, blood-splattered corridors of the colossal ship. He passed a dozen other initiates- most of whom looked various levels of frightened and apprehensive -but he didn't pay them any mind as he made his way to the hall. After nearly fifteen minutes he realized he did not, in fact, know the direction to the hall and he ended up in what he presumed was near the massive engine that powered the space ship considering the noise and sheer wiring snaking everywhere along the corridors like colourful metal vines. 

"Oh aye, ye lost lil' un?" the chirpy voice caused Gamzee to pause, glancing back over his shoulder with squinted eyes. An adult clown had apparently poked her head out of one of the doorways and spotted him and she gave him a cheery wave. She was tall and slender, with rows of neat tiny braids dyed the same colour as their shared blood. Her face was open and her eyes were warm and he accepted her proffered hand without hesitation. Her fingers were covered in grease and callouses but her grip upon his was gentle.

"Ain't none a worry, gimme ya paw fer a while and I'll take ye right back, eh?" she gave a gentle tug and he followed, feeling almost diminutive next to the adult's far taller frame but she gave him another smile and he returned the gesture. Her mind felt as warm as her grin.

"I got lost," he said, feeling the need to explain, "I ain't really sure how these ships here work, so my feet lead me in some circles 'til I ain't know nothing where I am. Even back on Alternia I hardly every left my hive so I feel like a squeakbeast in a maze or some shit, spinning my thinkpan about." 

She laughed, "Oh ye ain't the first to get lost in this here maze and ye ain't gon be the last, I assure ye."

The trip back was quick and despite himself Gamzee couldn't help but carefully pick through her strange mind, gentle and precise enough her own psychics didn't register him as a threat. He felt a strange emotion curl in his gut- guilt or anxiety he wasn't sure -but his curiosity overruled that; he was so profoundly fascinated by these non-Game trolls, that were so vastly different from the typical twenty four he knew for so many sweeps. While his memories as Gamzee weren't as deep as those of Kurloz, the stagnation of know the same trolls for millions of sweeps made everything in the Empire so new, vibrant and oh so fascinating. 

The adult's mind was bubbly and warm, and there was an odd eager affection within her mind whenever she regarded him or whenever her thoughts shifted to the new initiates. It was such a foreign feeling, such genuine softness and lacking any type of malicious intent no matter how much he searched. It was soothing and he struggled to prevent himself from submerging his own mind too deeply within her own. He wasn't sure what would happen if he did that, though a part of himself was deeply curious about the concept. Perhaps an experiment for another time.

Not even five minutes passed before Gamzee recognized the corridors leading to the vast hall and the drone of multitude of voices. Gamzee perked up, feeling far more aware than he did in his first visit, and suddenly eager to join in whatever meeting was occurring. The adult gave his hand a gentle squeeze, looking pleased by his sudden excited behaviour.

"Now, you be a good 'un and listen to old troll Occhio, yea? He alla bark and no bite, least not with you lil' wigglers right? And don't forget to give any of us a hollering if ye need so, what we're here for," the female adult gave him a wink before giving him a firm push on the shoulder blades to which he obediently walked forward and into the hall.

This time he made sure to study as many of the initiates as he could, gaze sweeping over the various horn shapes, faces, bodies and symbols. But while there were so much difference, each and every one of them had identical facepaint to Gamzee's own. The fairly plain mask of white and grey, much unlike the elaborate painted faces of the adults he'd seen. Gamzee wasn't sure what the procedure was for gaining different styles of paint- after all, the Priestormentors from yesterday were standing at the front of the hall and their paint was different from one another.

And as before, the Priest without eyes was the one who spoke first, his voice easily ringing through the hall and making all the initiates fall silent, "Alright looks like you all made it here, with only a few of you fucks getting lost. Well okay, more than a few but whatever, you're all here. So, kinda the same shit but now you lot have your own lil' mini hives to get comfortable in. Those rooms are yours so do what ya like with whatever- order whatever online, fill it with crap you took off that shithole planet and kept in your sylladexes, paint the walls with your own blood- I don't care. It's your place, do with it what you will. When you pass initiation you'll be able to choose new ships to serve on, as our fleet of Subjugglators is large and this is the flag ship for us."

"But now that is out of the way, we have to outline lessons- you look need school feeding, and not that motherfucking shit you get on that fuckheaded planet and grubtube. These are gonna be lessons about the Church, shit not any heathens know about and only what us clowns will ever know. We're gonna break down all that stupid knowledge and fill it up with the real stuff, what _really_ matters."

"Now, we gonna start off slow," Occhio said, "We know all this shit is new so it's gonna take time to reintegrate and educate you fucks into how you really work in this here Church. So we won't just stick a shitload of lessons on ya and expect you to know it right off the tight rope. You'll just fall and break ya fucking neck. But because of that, we're gonna break you shits up into smaller groups- of 'bout twenty or so, and that way you'll be taught on a more person nature. Now me, Gratia and Eminor are the High Priestormentors, which means we're on the Bloodied Authority, essentially the ruling body that governs most of the Church."

Occhio paused, long forked tongue flicking from his mouth several times before he continued, "You'll learn more about the power balance within the Church today in your first lessons, but I'm saying this shit so you lot know while we _will_ be schoolfeeding you other Priests will be in charge as well since we're busy motherfuckers. Just so you lot don't get all jittery when we fuck off."

With that done Occhio began to rattle off the list of groups; considering the thousands of initiates gathered in the hall it took an immense amount of time. Gamzee was moreso impressed as to how Occhio remembered so many names, considering he wasn't even reading anything off a scrap of paper. When Occhio finished reciting twenty names he would snap his fingers and Priestormentor would enter the great hall, gather those twenty initiates and lead them out. Sometimes an initiate wouldn't hear their name or would be too frightened to respond and they would have to be carefully taken. 

Not once did one of the adults raise their voice or their fists.

Throughout it all Gamzee cast his psychics across the entire group; it was less precises and more like a blanket so he could detect the general mood. However when his chuckevoodoos brushed against the Priests they noticed- Occhio in particular nearly caught his mind and the Bard had to implement his millennium of experience as Kurloz to sequester his own mind away before the old troll could seize his. But aside from that Gamzee noted the general mood of the initiates was fright and curiosity, an odd mix. A few here and there had immense eagerness to learn but most seemed cautious. 

Gamzee couldn't care less about fright- he died so many times the threat of it no longer bothered him. However he was quite fascinated and his devoutness- or at least his love -for his Messiah's made him curious as to _how_ the clowns worshiped his Cherubs. However those thoughts got pulled aside when he was called, though he missed the first time and it wasn't until an adult shook his shoulder and had to point to the others that he realized he'd been called. However he dutifully got up and followed the small group from the hall.

Then he found himself in a room with nineteen other initiates and a cheery faced Priestormentor who introduced himself as 'Karell'. He was tall and slim, and wore elaborate robes of black edged in indigo. His horns resembled thorny flower stems and his hair was a wild birds nest that rivaled Gamzee's own. Like the other adults his facepaint was unique, full of speckles and dripping lines. 

Karell ended up introducing them all and Gamzee noted with interested the two young trolls he spoke to yesterday- Hestia Jewels and Koiboi Liquor -were in the group along side him. In fact, he was quite sure most of the group had been introduced to one another the day before but he wasn't sure. As it was he simply settled down on the ground, which was a thick lush carpet that felt like rich fur, and listened as Karell finished introducing them and shifted his topic to the Church itself.

"Now, before I really start, you have to understand a basic concept and the ranks within the Church. We are all members of the Church, obviously, but we are Subjugglators. It's like a..." Karell trailed over, waving his painted nails slightly as he searched for the word, "It's like a synonym, I guess. Every Church member is a Subjugglator. It's basically our fall back title. Clown, Subjugglator- they are the same. However we also can choose ranks, or jobs as they were but first you have to understand what they are. Okay no wait, I fucked up- I mean you have to understand the ranks and how they relate. So you wee ones gotta be quiet and listen, okay?"

Clearing his throat Karell started to walk slowly back and forth in front of the group of sitting initiates. Gamzee watched him avidly, studying the adult's dark skin and the various silvery scars that dotted his exposed flesh. His black skin and deep purple robes were in sharp contrast to the cream-coloured walls and beige floor and Gamzee could stare at him for hours before becoming bored. 

"First off, I want to explain the roles here, at least a watered down version- Mutare mentioned it before, as he stated he, Ananke, and Morbus are High Priestormentors. I am a Priestormentor myself, but those three are called High Priestormentors because they are members of the Bloodied Authority, who rule the Church. So like they're senior. Have more responsibility. I am a Priestormentor but I am mainly in charge of teaching the new ones and lending aid where I am needed."

"The Bloodied Authority govern the Church- they are comprised of the three High Priestormentors, the eldest Doctorturer who is Abutor Vulnus whom some of you have already met the acquaintance of, the lead ragripper and bleeder whom are usually in charge of blood distribution and aiding us with our clothing- which is actually important and will be covered later -as well as the eldest clown within the Church. They judge many important issues and pass sentences and rulings to the rest of us." 

Karrell's smile faltered slightly, "We usually have a ruling head of the Authority, the Grand Highblood, but our last one died many sweeps ago back in a rebellion upon Alternia. He was killed by a mutant-"

"The Summoner," Gamzee couldn't help but interject, remembering through Kurloz the scrying of Alternia and the many many sweeps of its history, of how the Dancestors had turned out while being raised in the viciousness of Alternia. A pity Rufioh of Beforus turned out to be an unfaithful cheat who had no qualms about standing uselessly to the side while someone tormented his previous lover into madness. But the Rufioh of Alternia had been fierce and unyielding. He wondered if Tavros would take those traits, since Rufioh of Beforus had been so weak. He hoped the brownblood was okay. 

The adult blinked and Gamzee thought he couldn't have taken the Priest more off guard if he'd thrown something at him, "I...yes, that's who killed him. The winged brownblood known as the Summoner- though the Grand Highblood killed the mutant before dying soon after of his injuries. However he also managed to kill the mutated lowblood's pet dragon as well during that fight. Few trolls have even taken on a fully grown dragon and won- much less while fighting a winged mutant."

"So we ain't have another?" Gamzee asked. Truthfully he was rather surprised the Kurloz of Alternia was dead- he hadn't even thought the troll was dead until Karell said as much and suddenly the memory of seeing it through the Dreambubbles burst open within his mind. It was if he wasn't aware of such things until a specific word from another would trigger it; how many other things did he know yet didn't yet from his memories? Having millions of sweeps of memories were confusing and Gamzee suddenly wished he had one of his friends- perhaps Aradia of Feferi -there to speak with him about it.

Gamzee dozed off, trying to shift through the memories lurking within his head. So many memories of Kurloz and Gamzee, Gamzee being far more vivid and full of life whereas Kurloz was distant, muted, a more pale shade but so many more. Karell's voice turned into a soothing background hum as Gamzee thought further, still bemused as to his odd mental state. Kurloz had been more than willing to allow Gamzee to gain control, despite the fact it would've been wigglersplay for the older, more experienced, clown to take dominance. But he hadn't and Gamzee got the odd impression the other indigo had been tired of being alive- or existing, at least -so he had been eager to allow Gamzee take control, to fade into the background.

He didn't know ghosts could get tired. By then Gamzee was lying on his side, the plush carpet so comforting he felt like having a nap. Even while lying sideways his eyes were slits, watching as Karell crouched down next to an initiate with a broken horn, talking to her with a broad smile and open body language. Like the female adult from before, Karell's mind was warm and kind and Gamzee began to get to the uncanny realization that it was highly possible that this was the mindset of all adult clowns- just genuine affection for all other Subjugglators.

Gamzee wanted nothing more than to drown in it. He'd been starved of affection all his life and before Jane he'd never gotten it. But after having it those short few months where she was his matesprit and then having it pulled away left him yearning for it. Perhaps not the same flush attentions Jane had shown him, but affection all the same. 

Someone settled down next to and his sleepy mind momentarily mistook her for Jane and he automatically reached for her only to jolt back with a disappointed grunt when he realized it was Hestia. She sneered at him and he returned the gesture.

"What'd you want?"

"Maybe I wanna say hi," she responded haughtily.

Gamzee made a face, "I dunno. Fell like I might throw up though, so you might wanna stand back."

"Hey, you wanna vom then vom," Hestia said before she sneered again as Koiboi crawled over towards them.

Karell seemed more than willing to speak one-to-one with a small female with stick-like horns which left the rest of the initiates to their own devices which mainly meant they spoke among themselves. Most of the conversations were tentative, sweeps of having the violence of Alternia having been beaten into their thinkpans and not so easy to cast aside. Gamzee had no such compulsions and thus did not care. Hestia and Koiboi however, still held such opinions and Gamzee could see the tension in their frames, roiling through their minds. Koiboi seemed ready to rip the fabric of his skirt, he was twisting it so hard.

Gamzee after a moment of silence gave her the thumbs up, though he noted the fairly disturbed expression on Koiboi's face through his wild tangles of hair.

"At the moment it's just some motherfuckin' school feeding, giving us the what which way of the Church," Gamzee said, stretching languidly on the floor.

"Yeah well, I'm still waitin' for the other shoe to drop," Hestia growled, "All this preaching of cooperation- tha' fuck?"

Koiboi said nothing, simply toying with the edges of his skirts. The way he was kneeling meant his long thick hair hid his face and Gamzee frowned, the other clown's thoughts roiling so violently it made his gut lurch so he quickly drew back his psychics before he actually _did_ vomit. It would remind him of that time he'd vomited up so much of his own blood he eventually puked up a key. That hadn't been a fun experience, even if it had been necessary.

"Nah, I felt them- they wanna help," Gamzee said.

Hestia gave him a reproachful look, her round face becoming ugly, "Then you're a dumbfuck who ain't never spoke to his lusus proper."

"My lusus wasn't never around and last I saw him he was getting his dead on," Gamzee replied. 

Across from him Koiboi twitched violently while something akin to regret flashed across Hestia's face before it quickly vanished.

"Huh, why ain't you just barking some noise at Karell? He's wanting to offering out them helpin' hands," Gamzee said, nodding towards the adult in question. By now the Priestormentor was sitting cross-legged on the floor and talking enthusiastically with three initiates, and from his psychics Gamzee could see how the caution and fear was steadily seeping from their minds at the adult's friendly and approachable behaviour. Of course there was still some disbelief and wariness, something that had been instilled within them through a wigglerhood of violence on Alternia but there was also the yearning for compassion. 

Gamzee could relate. Not the fear though, he hadn't really felt genuine fear in some time. Usually when someone tried to kill him he'd either accept it or try to kill them right back and dying a thousand times over rather desensitized him to it.

The rest of the strange lesson with Karell was mainly him approaching each of them on a personal level, which made sense. As Occhio had previously stated, it would be difficult to teach a class of many thousands without screaming himself hoarse though Gamzee would've bet on the blind Priestormentor to accomplish it. So when Karell trotted over to the three of them with a broad smile and warm purple eyes, Gamzee returned the gesture without hesitation. Hestia and Koiboi were less open, body language becoming defensive at the adult's proximity.

He didn't miss the way Karell's eyes lingered upon the symbol on his shirt but the adult made no comment on it. 

"So, how are you three doing? You're Hestia, Koiboi and Gamzee, yes?"

Hestia nodded while Koiboi said nothing, just continued to stare mutely at his lap while his fingers twisted the fabric of his skirts enough Gamzee half-thought he'd rip it. As it seemed like neither of the other two initiates would speak, Gamzee decided to ask, "How you doin', brother?"

Karell smiled brightly, obviously pleased, "I'm doing just wonderful- it's always a treat when we gain new members of the Church."

"You like teachin'?"

"I love it," Karell shifted in place, his robes shuffling around him, "I always enjoyed speaking to others, even when I was your age. When I learned about the career choices within the Church, I immediately jumped at the chance to become a Priestormentor. Our main job is to educate and care for the initiates and those who need guidance." 

"What this here stuff about jobs?" Gamzee couldn't help but ask.

Karell nodded, "You'll find out more of that later- this is more so...hmm, like another orientation. I know there are a lot of spooky stories running around about the Church, especially from heathens, but what you must understand is that we'll never harm you; we're a family. So we'll start off slow, rather than demanding automatic trust."

"So..." Hestia paused, gnawing on her plump lower lip before saying, "You sayin' you lot are like some kinda trollish lusus?"

"Yes, you can say so. We're here to protect and guide you. From this day you'll be taught but you'll also be able to see many planets under Empire control- such wondrous variety!"

That caught Hestia's interest and she blinked, momentarily obscuring her jeweled eye, "You mean we'll be visitin' other planets?"

"Well naturally- understanding the flora, fauna and landscapes of foreign places is very important as we're the main enforcers for the Empire. We are the Subjugglators after all and those heretics and treasonous sorts can be quite sneaky. Also there are many invasions, which always involves alien species. Must always be prepared. Though...at the moment there is no invasion happening- hasn't been one for a few sweeps, thought many planets still have scraps of their original inhabitants behind to hunt. The first invasion you experience is always the most exciting! Why, I remember my first-"

Gamzee rolled onto his back, thinking. Would any of the worlds be like the lands his friends were gifted in SGRUB? Or even Jane's- though she told him she hated her world, with it being barren and populated by graves filled with the bones of those who died waiting for her. He wished he'd been able to show her his one, he would bet she'd would've liked his land of mirth and tents. Same with Calliope.

He didn't realize he'd started crying silently until Karell's finger tips carefully brushed away his tears, and he blinked, breath locking up in his throat for a brief second.

"Sorry," he said. It was almost an automatic response by then, all too used to his friends fairly apathetic reactions.

Hestia opened her mouth but she glanced at Karell and quickly shut it again. The adult meanwhile simply smiled and said, "It's fine. Conscription can be a very upheaving experience, being taken from everything you know and being surrounded by strange adults. Cry if you need or want to." 

Gamzee laughed at that, "Then I'm gonna be getting my tear ducts used pretty bad. Got a lot of mourning rocking around this thinkpan."

"Go ahead. Cry as much as you want- bottling up your feelings just makes everything twisted in the thinkpan and that's the last thing we want. Emotions can be confusing and everything is new. We don't want you to bottle it all up until you explode. That's never pretty."

Gamzee hummed; personally he thought the few times he'd seen Jane explode with rage was pretty, such contrast with her usual docile and kind personality. The juxtaposition had been pretty. Gamzee wondered what was wrong with him before remembering that there was, in fact, many things wrong with him. At least things many of his old friends never had any qualms about screaming at him about even if back when he was only Gamzee he missed the vast majority of it. 

With a sniffle he rubbed at his face, paint smearing across his fingers. Karell grinned before directing his attention to Hestia who immediately began demanding answers about various aspects of the Church in belligerent tones. Gamzee sighed, wanting to take a nap on the furry floor but Koiboi shifted restlessly, drawing Gamzee's attention.

However as soon as he made eye contact with Koiboi the other clown immediately averted his gaze and Gamzee's smile faded so instead he closed his eyes and listened to the low drone of voices, lulled into a doze. Then a female Priestormentor stuck her head in the room and called his name, which woke Gamzee back up and he was told it was time for another checkup from the fleet's Doctorturer.

Gamzee remembered that part or being poked and prodded by the strange adult who lived in the room filled with thousands of sightless eyes. The Doctorturer smiled, all kind and sweet, when he arrived but again Gamzee felt a weird sense of unease around the short adult. This apprehension was obviously picked up, as the troll fussed over Gamzee as he urged the Bard to sit on the examination table. 

"Now, don't feel called out sweetling," Abutor soothed him, "I examine every initiate and some need more care than most."

Gamzee snorted, "Others as fucked as me?"

"No, you were bad but some had other issues that mean they also need further observation."

He just answered with a grunt, resisting the urge to slap away the Doctorturer's gloved hands. He had no idea why he felt so on edge- there was just something about Abutor that was setting off warning bells within him, the same sense of unease that being around Vriska or Meenah would inspire within him even if back then he lacked the self awareness to identify the crawling feeling in his gut. Now however he was, and he had no idea why it was warning him about Abutor who'd been nothing but kind.

"Gratia mentioned you were tried," Abutor said, strapping some weird contraption around Gamzee's forearm, "And that is perfectly normal for anyone who's gone through long periods of starvation and sunsickness. It will take you some time to fully recover, my dear. Some things we cannot rush."

"Okay...?"

"No worries," Abutor flashed him a kindly smile, even as his fingers lightly brushed the scars on Gamzee's face and making his flinch reflexively, "And don't worry about these scars either- when you go through your adult molt everything will be nice and fresh so you don't have any nasty reminders, dear one."

"Sounds weird."

Abutor hummed, checking the small stat meter on the contraption on Gamzee's arm before pulling it off with practiced ease, "Rest and food are all that's left for your recovery- most lessons at the start will be theory and whatnot to aid you on getting on your feet so you needn't worry about exerting yourself for the next few days, sweetling."

"Sounds good I guess," Gamzee decided agreeing with the old troll would be the safest option. Abutor on the other hand didn't seem bothered by this quietness and sent him off with a wave and reminder to eat.

* * *

The next few days seemed to be more of the same orientation- the smaller groups of twenty would be taken to a room and spoken extensively with by a Priestormentor. Karell was usually the one speaking to them but occasionally it would be other adults with the same sunny, friendly minds. Gamzee relished the whole experience even if half the time he didn't understand what was happening. The routine of getting up, eating and then going to lessons was an odd one as back on Alternia there had been no scheduled at all for him to follow- even within SGRUB there had been none. Time travel had also made lateness a moot point in the Game. However in that the new universe was, time travel was beyond his reach and he had no Megido to ask about it.

But even if he was late or got lost, an adult Subjugglator would also be willing to show him where he was supposed to go and Gamzee got the impression the Church made sure to only have Priestormentors of friendly, calm natures to be on the colossal ship with the freshly retrieved initiates. Occhio Mutare's harsh, almost scolding personality was perhaps the most abrasive out of any Gamzee had seen but despite his attitude Gamzee hadn't heard any word of the old troll attacking anyone. Not yet least and Gamzee was still wary of poking through the blind adult's mind since he'd nearly caught Gamzee last time.

Gamzee also met Koiboi and Hestia again, with those two being the only ones who Gamzee really remembered. Koiboi remained as shy and withdrawn as he did with the first meeting, but Gamzee made sure to speak to him all the same and slowly the other clown would respond. Hestia remained fairly standoffish and irritable, reminding him of Vriska or Terezi so much at times he had to restrain himself from attacking her. When that happened the phantom image of Jane appeared and her presence also caught his attention that it made everything else fade into the background.

None of the adults questioned him about his habit of muttering to thin air or staring off into space and on the moments Gamzee was lucid he would note he wasn't the only initiate with odd habits. He still found the variety of trolls baffling and he would so for quite some time. The adults in particular were fascinating, as the only one he could remember vividly was the Condesce- especially considering her weird patting session with him before. 

But Gamzee was content and true to Abutor's scolding he made sure to eat. If he ever forgot Jane would appear and lecture him until he complied, and he never could say no to her.

* * *

Only a few days later did it get announced they were going to stop at one of the Empire-controlled worlds within the solar system they were currently in. Technically it was labeled a 'dull rock', meaning it had no sentient species or civilizations to maim and torture, but it was the closest one nearby and the Priests had declared they were going to stay there for a few days before continuing on.

Gamzee couldn't help but feel relief at the announcement, due to getting more and more on edge at being inside a ship. While the ship was vast and colourful, it was still a poor substitute for actually being outside and it reminded him uncomfortably of being on that lifeless meteor for so long.

He left his rooms when the transmission ended on the ship-wide com system and got lost several times before he found one of the massive observation decks. Though the ship was still fairly far away from the planet to the point all he could see was the inky blackness of space sprinkled with stars and the occasional nebula he settled down on one of the benches before the gigantic windows, content to watch until they reached their destination.

There were two other initiates on the deck, but one was leaning up against the window while the other was sitting cross legged on the floor near the left wall. Neither said anything to him besides giving him curious glances when he first entered so Gamzee likewise ignored them.

It was nice, just to sit there and watch the stars. Gamzee never really spent a lot of time just _watching_ things. Well, he did but that was back when he was stoned out of his mind and completely numb to everything. Kurloz spent all his time spying on everything and everyone but due to being dead it was oddly numb as well, considering the Prince had been dead for so long he'd forgotten what breathing and eating had felt like.

With a grunt Gamzee stretched, feeling the comforting ache of his muscles before he sprawled back on the bench. It felt so nice to be alive. Well, mostly. He stretched at the side of his face where the skin was still covered in the shifting scars from the burns the Alternian sun had inflicted on him before the Condesce rescued him. He wondered if they would vanish when he went through his adult molt like Abutor said- same with his facial scars.

He doubted it, considering they stayed with him after the Game when everyone else was healed of their various injuries.

By the time the city-sized ship landed on the planet Gamzee was eagerly bouncing around like many others and it was such a relief they were finally able to step foot on the foreign world.

Gamzee sucked in a deep breath of air, taking in the scents and wonderful breeze as he trotted off the ship with a swarm of clowns. Around him fellow initiates were peering about, taking in the sights of the alien planet. The meadow they'd landed in was filled with thick green grass and Gamzee knelt down and ran his hands through it, before bending down further and biting a chunk out. It was sour and fresh in his mouth as he chewed then swallowed.

He was about to eat some more when Occhio strode past, the Priest circling the group of initiates even as his tongue flickered out rapidly. Gamzee paused in his grass eating, eyeing the swaying end of the Priest's robe which had dozens of small purple tassels attached to the edge.

"Alright, you little shits," Occhio snapped, pivoting neatly in place and facing the group. The nearest initiates to him instinctively jumped back at the abrupt movement from the adult as if they were expecting Occhio to attack them. He ignored this and carried on, "So this planet should be totally fine for you lot to fuck about on and do whatever, it isn't anymore dangerous than Alternia. Even so, keep a gander bulb on each other and for the love of fuck don't eat any of the fruit! That shit'll kill you quicker than you can say 'heretics', am I understood?"

"Remember, you fucka's have our numbers, its one the damn husktops- if anything goes to shit, just call it and one of will come and get your asses sorted. Got it?"

Some mumbles and nodding were the only response to the blind troll's barked words. Despite his blindness, Occhio seemed to be satisfied with it for he gave a brisk nod before strolling away with his nose in the air, leaving all the initiates to their own devices. Confusion buzzed over all the young trolls before tentative conversations and exploration began to crop up, some of the initiates exploring more of the field or edging off into the thick jungle.

"Yeah well I'mma fuck off and see shit," Gamzee said absently. Both out of a desire to see the strange new sights and to be alone. He still felt fairly out of sorts being around so many different trolls.

"Don't get eaten," Hestia added nastily as she walked past, "Since I'm sure you can't fight for shit."

"Fuck off," Gamzee said. It was without any venom, more of a knee jerk reaction to her probing. Not bothering to wait for a reply he turned and loped off, reaching the edge of the clearing and scampering into the thick flora. He wouldn't mind being alone for a while.

Gamzee tromped through the undergrowth, rather fascinated by the sheer amount of flora everywhere; Alternia was fairly barren in terms of environments and plant life. He only really briefly knew about deserts, ocean, plains and forests due to his experiences in the Game and subsequent memories from Kurloz. There hadn't been thickly coiled trees surrounded by ferns, bushes and colourful vines. Flowers were everywhere, scattered across the ground and growing from the tangled bushels. Some were even larger than he was and all brilliantly coloured and patterned. Curious, he got closer to one flower growing from one of the vines; it was bigger than his head and a bright turquoise dotted with mustard dots. He sniffed at it and was immediately assailed with a smell akin to honey.

Gamzee was tempted to try eating it but the Priestormentor's earlier warning about potential poisons warned him off it and he reluctantly turned away, jumping up onto one of the raised roots of the tree in front of him. The trees themselves had smooth, deep blue bark and when Gamzee paused to inspect the trunk of the one he was standing on he noticed the bark had delicate, curling patterns wrought into it; either someone or grown that way he couldn't tell. Small, brightly coloured creatures that reminded him of Aradia's serpentine lusus nimbly darted about the trees as Gamzee carried on wandering through the undergrowth.

_Alternia is so boring compared to this place,_ Jane chimed in, appearing next to Gamzee's shoulder without warning, _It reminds me of those strange magical forests like in Maleficent and Avatar- remember watching them with me? Pity you had no troll movies to show me. Would've been interesting to compared them with one another._

"Everything is so fuckin' bright," Gamzee agreed, watching a few glowing flutterbeasts swoop past him, leaving sparkling dust trails, "Ain't all dreary and shit. Smells delicious too."

_It must have been boring having only pure white creatures; I wish I could've shown you more Earth animals. Only animals we had around was cats which was, you guessed it, also boring white and I'm not overly fond of felines._

He just gave a grunt in response, inhaling deeply before a small nut creature scurried out from the undergrowth and watched him with bright green eyes. Curious, he reached out a claw and displaying a complete lack of fear the bushy-tailed animal hopped forward and sniffed his fingers. Gamzee briefly thought about eating it but dismissed it just as quickly; he wasn't that hungry. A loud _neigh_ echoed through the jungle and like lightning the nut creature vanished back into the bushes, leaving Gamzee blinking in confusion at its sudden departure. The sound rang out again, muffled somewhat by the thick flora and trees surrounding him and he curiously followed until he reached the edge of the jungle which lead out to another meadow. There, standing in the field was the source of the loud neighing.

_Oh gosh, Gamzee look, look at that!_ Jane said excitedly, eyes wide, _Look at it!_

"What? It's a weird....glowy hoofbeast, who gives a shit?"

_No, it's a unicorn! Oh my sweet great aunt, look at it!_

Gamzee frowned, peering past the tree trunk so he was able to see the hoofbeast more clearly. The thing was sturdily built, with thick legs and lean muscles that shifted fluidly underneath its glossy coat. It was over ten feet tall and the golden horn spiraling from its forehead was longer than Gamzee's forearm. Its mane was all the colours of the hemospecutrum, in contrast to the snowy coat. However the creature's white body hair did emit a faint sheen, as if the creature was glowing like some weird bestial breed of Rainbow Drinker. Along its powerful flank was a graceful pattern of a flower; however rather than being different fur colour, the flower seemed to be made from green and red gemstones growing from its flesh.

_Darnit, I wish Dirk could see this! Bet he and Equius would faint if they could see this- a unicorn! An alien unicorn, sure, but still a unicorn,_ Jane babbled excitedly, bouncing up and down in place while flickering like a broken hologram, _I wonder if this has something to do with the Game? Since we did restore the universe so it wouldn't be surprise if there were still...ripples of influence from our species and cultures. After all we have your Zodiac. Or...had, I guess. It's rather hard to tell at times isn't it?_

"I dunno," Gamzee muttered, distracted as the hoofbeast- or unicorn as Jane said -lifted its head. It looked around the meadow before stomping the ground; as it lifted up one of its muscular legs he noticed the creature's hoof which was a solid, gleaming gold and split down the center, like how his lusus' had been. With a soft _whump_ the unicorn stomped on the grass a few times, seeing small ripples of rainbow coloured sparkling motes and phantom flutterbeasts spiraling up from its leg.

What was so exciting about it? It _was_ very colourful and, when he sniffed at the air, smelled like honey and candy but he wasn't sure why Jane was so excited. Maybe it was a human thing. Then again, the Zahhaks never shut up about hoofbeasts either. He admitted the unicorn was very pretty but that was about it.

"What are you doing?" A soft voice suddenly spoke behind him, jarring Gamzee from his watching.

He twisted in place, about to throw a punch only to stop when he realized the newcomer was Koiboi. Said troll flinched backwards, automatically drawing a long needle in response to Gamzee's aggression and looking immensely nervous.

"Oh, er sorry," Gamzee gave him an apologetic grin even as he shifted back into a casual stance, "Ain't good to sneak up on a motherfucker, even if we're both in the same faith."

"No, it's my fault," he whispered, looking unhappy, "You were right- I shouldn't have snuck up on you," with a flick of his wrist the troll stowed his needle back into his strife deck before crossing his arms nervously, "I, um, noticed you left earlier and I remembered Mutare's warnings about this place, along with those other things the Priest's said about our caste and how we should keep a eye on each other."

_Aw, he was worried for you,_ Jane said fondly, clambering over the tree root until she was standing at Koiboi's shoulder, _I think you made a new friend, Gamzee. I bet he decided to seek you out because you defending him a few days ago. Poor thing, he is very flighty, isn't he? He's like Damara. Well, before the whole 'fish mental break' thing, of course. I wonder if they'd get along?_

Gamzee thought it was rather ridiculous but on second thought Koiboi certainly fit the criteria; he looked at everything with wide suspicious eyes and was very easily upset. Still, it was strange traits for an Alternia Highblood to have; he expected that behaviour from lowbloods due to having the societal message constantly pressed on them to be weak and compliant, or what he knew from Kurloz's prolonged surveillance in the Dreambubbles. So in a sense he could understand Hestia's frustration with Koiboi- even if he thoroughly disproved of it.

_Well, I think it's sweet. He also probably didn't want to be left alone with Hestia,_ Jane pointed out, _She was being fairly hostile to him and he seems very shy._

A loud snort from the unicorn caught all three of their attention; Koiboi immediately took out his needles again, his watery eyes wide as he watched the stocky creature pace back and forht in the clearing, white coat shimmering in the sunlight.

"Why weren't our lusus all beautiful and covered in skin miracles like that?" Gamzee promptly complained, "Instead just being boring white shit? Wouldn't mind if my skin got all fuckin' nice like that when I grew up either."

"I don't know."

_Still not a conversationalist, I see._

"Hush."

Koiboi looked confused at Gamzee's muttering before gingerly taking a few more steps forward as he watched the unicorn with abject fascination. Despite this, he still wasn't letting his neck be exposed and a part of Gamzee felt vaguely offended Koiboi didn't trust him that much even if he knew logically Koiboi didn't really have any reason to.

"Do you know what it is?" Koiboi eventually asked, swatting aside a glowing bug that came too near his face.

"Oh, that thing?" Gamzee glanced back at the hoofbeast before saying, "That's a unicorn."

"A what?"

"A unicorn."

"How do you know?"

"Erm," he didn't really think about how'd he explain that, "I dunno? Just looks all like what a unicorn would be, wouldn't it?"

Koiboi looked at him with his overly large eyes and Gamzee was weirdly reminded of those ridiculous shows Rufioh would watch all the time. Koiboi blinked once before looking back at the unicorn.

"Do you think we could touch it?" He said, twisting his hand in his skirts, "I wouldn't mind getting some of its mane. I bet that would be lovely to knit with."

"Maybe we should try asking?"

The baffled look Koiboi gave him made Gamzee laugh and the other clown's brow furrowed in confusion and slight offense as if he thought Gamzee was laughing at him.

"Aw, pity we don't have like a beast master- animal psychic? The fuck you call 'em, here with us."

"Those are very rare," Koiboi said slowly, eyeing him from beneath his messy bangs.

"Nah, I knew someone who could do it," Gamzee replied easily. At Koiboi's inquisitive stare he elaborated, "One of my bros back on Alternia, Tav, he could talk to animals and make friend miracles and shit with them, totally loved it too. Spent all his time with animals, looking after them and even when we were in that double-death motherfuck tenacious shit-Game he kept on being friends with all them lil' imps and shit."

Gamzee's smile faded as he thought about Tavros; if that was one thing he regretted it was not trying to contact Tavros while they were on Alternia. He was fairly sure Tavros didn't hate him like virtually everyone else, but a part of him had been too worried that he'd try speaking to him again, only to realize Tavros hated him all along. He felt terrible enough as it was when his fusion with Kurloz made it incredibly apparent Karkat never liked him at all. It was bitter and horrid and he didn't want to taint one of his few good memories of his 'friends' with some ugly truth.

_He doesn't hate you,_ Jane soothed, reaching out with a translucent hand and touching his shoulder, _I don't think the Nitrams are even capable of hating people. Though Rufioh's stupidly and gross attitude towards Damara could be counted as extreme negligent I suppose..._ Jane trailed off in a thoughtful tone.

With a low grunt Gamzee crossed his arms defensively. Sometimes he wished he'd just died on Alternia, everything was so damn complicated and he wasn't used to having to think so hard all the time. Well, admittedly the new environment helped; little wonder everything went terrible being stuck with the same people for a few million sweeps, most of who hated each other. He sucked in a breath and couldn't help but appreciate the fresh air after being dead for so long. Or part of him was dead for so long. Whatever. It was confusing.

Breaking off his thoughts Gamzee glanced over at Koiboi who'd moved closer so he was just at the edge of the clearing, numerous bright flowers gathered around his feet. The unicorn at this point had moved over to a small, crystal clear stream running through the clearing, its long tail flicking from side to side as it drank.

Maybe Koiboi was right. Maybe they should try to touch it. After all even if everything went to smash and it gored them Gamzee was fairly sure he could distract the unicorn long enough for Koiboi to scream for help and for Occhio to come to their aid. Even so, he wouldn't mind dying by such a pretty creature. It seemed a nice way to go and he _did_ want to pat it.

_Yes, do it!_ Jane encouraged, _You cannot meet a unicorn and not, I don't know, pat it or something. Or maybe you should ask? They're supposed to be extremely intelligent. I think. Darnit, Dirk probably knows more about unicorn mythos._

Well, if Jane was suggesting it as well it couldn't be that bad of an idea. He shoved aside the memories of a few terrible ideas Jane had back in the Game, including one where she suggested they try killing one of the Skeletal Ogres using only baked goods. That hadn't been a particularly fun day for either of them.

_Oh please, in hindsight it had been hilarious. Screaming hysterics and sheer, gut-wrenching terror at the time, but afterwards it was relatively funny,_ Jane protested, following Gamzee as he hoped over a protruding root and shifted closer to Koiboi, who was still avidly watching the unicorn.

Mind made up, Gamzee stepped out from the leafy fringe of the jungle and out into the meadow, ignoring Koiboi's stifled noise of surprise. The massive hoofbeast looked up, water dripping from its muzzle. However it made not warning gestures as he approached, instead carefully moving in place until it faced him fully.

Only a few feet from the unicorn did he stop, rather bemused at the gleaming creature's sheer size. If he was standing on tip toes with his arm stretched out he wouldn't be able to reach its horn, with one sturdy leg nearly as thick as his midriff and its hooves the size of dinner plates. This close the unicorn's white hair had a faint rainbow sheen to it and Gamzee suddenly wished he was able to take some of its hide with him. It was so shiny and glowy. 

Carefully he reached a hand out towards the unicorn's broad nose; an odd vibration seemed to emanate from the creature's spiral horn, as if the air was twisting and warping around it. The unicorn snorted, its breath smelling like mint and sugary candy, before lowing its massive head and allowing him to pat its nose. Truthfully Gamzee expected something to happen, so suddenly be teleported somewhere, to be turned into glass, to explode from his sins or _something._ Instead the unicorn's muzzle was soft and he felt nothing apart from the warmth and odd sense of peace emanating from the creature.

He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at Koiboi who was still standing in the undergrowth, seemingly frozen. He beckoned with his spare hand but the other initiate shook his head violently, eyes wide and almost panicked. Shrugging Gamzee turned his attention back to the unicorn, stroking its muzzle and sniffing. It smelled so nice it was making his mouth water.

Curious, Gamzee tried reach other with his psychics towards the unicorn; he got the brief impression of contentedness, happiness and amusement before with a flick of its thoughts the unicorn pushed him from its mind. Confused he tried again only to once again get gently, yet firmly, rejected. Gamzee didn't really know how to respond to the fact the unicorn was apparently strong enough to completely rebuke his psychics but before he could question it further the unicorn pulled its muzzle away from his hand.

He let it go without protest, watching the glowing animal with wide eyes as it backed away while tossing its mane in a flourish of colours. Then there was a vibrant blast of light and cornucopia of colours and suddenly the symbol of Hope was all but seared into his vision, the twisted mimicry of wings burning white-

A second later Gamzee was blinking, lying on his back in the lush grass and staring up at a concerned Koiboi who was bending over him.. The after mirage of the Hope symbol still danced across his vision and he tried to focus onto the strange symbol, completely bewildered as to its appearance. Was the unicorn some creature of Hope? Like those angels that used to infect the lands of the Ampora's? But that couldn't have been right, since the angel's seemed hostile and they weren't in the Game anymore. Or maybe it was some ripple caused from the death throes of the Game, since he knew the human universe had a lot of troll influence so maybe even after SGRUB was gone it still had that influence in effect.

The whole thing just confused him, and he blinked some more until the after mirage of Hope faded slowly before shifting his head and saying, "What happened?"

"The hoofbeast vanished," Koiboi said, a frown on his face, "It was strange, it was like it...disappeared in this burst of colours and flutterbeasts. I presume it had many other things to do."

"Probably," with a grunt Gamzee sat up, dots swimming in front of his eyes and he rubbed at them irritably. Koiboi said nothing else, instead glancing nervously around as if he expected the unicorn to teleport back to them and gore them both to death with its horn.

"I do not know. Your eyes got all...unusual for a moment but you seem quite hale at present."

"It was uh, kinda weird," Gamzee admitted, glancing back at the now empty meadow. With a grunt he rubbed at his eyes again before freezing in place, noticing the weird mark on the palm of his hand where he'd touched the unicorn; a patch of grey skin had turned a silvery white, with the flared, curling wings of the Hope symbol. Confused he pressed against the skin which felt burning hot, but other than that there was nothing- no pain, no more strange visions.

Just a strange new scar in the shape of a symbol of a Game he thought was long over.

_Why?_

Koiboi said nothing and didn't move to help as Gamzee got back up to his feet. He felt shaky and unsure, confused as to why he saw the symbol of Hope when the unicorn left and the weird mark on the palm of his hand.

Jane, who'd up until then had remained quiet, spoke in a soft voice, _Seems the Game had far reaching influence we yet don't understand. Let us hope only ripples remain. I don't think I can go through that again._

Gamzee was silent and when he glanced at Koiboi the other troll looked away, face hidden behind his wild, long hair. After a moment he looked back at the mark on his hand before shrugging; he had no idea why the strange hoofbeast decided to mark him or what it meant and he suddenly felt so tired he couldn't even been bothered trying to figure out what happened.

Then they both jumped a foot in the air when Occhio's voice bellowed out like a fog horn behind them.

"Oi! You lil' mother fucks get back near the fuckin' ship! What did I say before?! Dumbasses!"

* * *

The next day the mark on his hand was still there. Gamzee wondered if it would be like the scars on his face, just something that would stay with him forever.

He wondered what Eridan would think of it before he remembered he hadn't even seen the Prince after SGRUB ended. He didn't even know if Eridan was alive.

Gamzee hoped he was. Bad things seemed to happen when their Hope died.

* * *

Their next surface trip was to a more desert-like planet, not even a day after their trip to the strange jungle world. Gamzee was just as fascinated with this new place as the last, even if the deaf Priestormetor Gratia Ananke commented that this new planet was more of a moon than an actual world. Gamzee didn't know the difference and largely didn't care, an opinion which seemed largely shared by the rest of the initiates. He was still confused about the weird incident with the unicorn but being on another planet sufficiently distracted him from dwelling on it.

But this new place was arid and dry, unlike the wet vibrant flora of the last destination. Many of his fellow Subjugglators seemed more at ease on this world, mainly due to Alternia's landscape of vast hills, beaches, plains and deserts so it was familiar. Lush jungles just weren't the norm for trolls and Gamzee did privately admit he missed the beach.

Like before Occhio was the one in charge, the blind troll circling their group and flicking his tongue before he addressed them all, saying "Being able to quickly adapt to foreign planets and situations is somethin' you lil' motherfuckers are gonna have to practice at. As Subjugglators it's up to us to keep the lesser fucks in line and lowbloods are like pests- they'll burrow anywhere like vermin when they're doing a runner and you lot have to learn how to root 'em out."

"Can we not have other jobs?" an initiate piped up, her face a frown, "Like me mum said wi' the school feeding, there's lotsa subset jobs."

"True," Occhio allowed, "When you fuckers pass your initiation you'll be able to choose from a lot of jobs within the Church, yet you'll _always_ be subjugglators. Even if you take the job of a laughassassin, rag ripper, inventerrortist, slaver, controller, whatever the fuck else catchers your fancy you'll still be a Subjugglator. I'm a Priestormentor yet I'm _also_ a Subjugglator. So yea, you lot can take other jobs but you'll still be one of us."

"Of course, that ain't why we're here- we'll go over the job variants and shit later on. Now go, run free. And remember to tag one of us if you fuck up and need help," with those parting words Occhio shooed them away.

Gamzee was rather interested in what these other 'jobs' would be. He wondered if they worked like the jobs they had in SGRUB. Then again Gamzee was fairly sure they all screwed up their ones; Kanaya and Karkat especially, what with giving that giant croakbeast cancer and ruining it for literally everyone else. Still, the Game never gave them manuals and he hoped the Church taught them differently. He still didn't really know much about being a Bard, even with Kurloz's memories merging into his own.

But since it was for a later date Gamzee simply sat on a nearby boulder and proceeded to lean back and gaze up into the sky. It was a clear deep blue, darkening as the sun began to set. It was still strange, how he could be in sunlight and not have his skin burnt off. He remembered feeling his skin blister and peel from his stint on Alternia, lying outside in the doorway of his hive and getting steadily burnt more and more. He turned his head, lifting up a forearm and gazing at the pale grey flesh; there was still some warping scar tissue on the skin but the ugly marks had largely faded thanks to Abutor's ministrations. 

Most of the initiates began to disperse, some wandering towards the dunes, others began chasing the scant wildlife while one started to poke curiously at a nearby cactus with his broad sword. Gamzee was going to have a nap, but to his annoyance Hestia wandered over to him and started to kick his leg with Koiboi hovering behind her, nervousness scrawled across his long face.

"Hey, get up."

"Go away."

"Oh come oooooon," Hestia whined, "Come da fuck on, like this'll be real fun shit, yeah?"

Koiboi frowned from behind her, "But we were told to stay here."

"Nah, we were told not ta get inna trouble, we're just....looking for old shit. Doing uh, educational things."

"Ahuh," Gamzee wasn't impressed.

"Come ooooon," Hestia whined, "It'll be fun."

Koiboi wrapped his arms around his shoulders, his lips twisting down into a frown. He obviously wasn't convinced, but Gamzee did feel rather curious and wasn't too bothered about dangerous situations. Either they wouldn't find anything or they'd die. With a groan Gamzee reluctantly peeled himself away from the rock, obediently following Hestia as she began to stride along the cracked earth, ranting about something he couldn't be bothered listening to. Koiboi lingered near his side, fingers digging into his upper arms and gazed fixed on the ground.

The air was cooling as they wandered, Hestia at one point dragging her mace from her strife deck and attacking a strange bald-necked bird which screamed at her and flew off in a shower of tattered feathers and left the girl cursing skyward. She did successful hunt several small lizards that they found underneath one of the many rocks scattered across the ground, eating them as she walked and talked. Gamzee thought she was moreso talking _at_ them rather than actually holding a conversation and he guessed she was like Aranea; just someone who enjoyed the sound of their own voice and smugness while not understanding the majority of people didn't actually care.

Gamzee could relate, what with many not caring what he spoke about back in the Game but before he could think on it further Hestia fell down the side of a neighbouring dune with a shriek, rolling downwards in a whirlwind of sand. Letting out a laugh Gamzee threw himself after her, ignoring Koiboi's startled exclamation. The two trolls bounced down, Gamzee blinded by sand and getting a mouthful of it even as he laughed and coughed. They hit the ground at the bottom of the dune seconds apart, Gamzee narrowly avoiding getting stabbed by Hestia's horns.

"Fucking fuck, got sand everywhere! Fuck you, sand," Hestia spat out, still sprawled out on her stomach next to him. Gamzee just giggled, sand and dirt caking his hair and half blinding him.

"...are you two hale?"

"Fucking grand!" Hestia dragged herself up to her feet, baring her teeth at Koiboi who'd landed neatly next to them. Gamzee coughed before nimbly rolling backwards into his feet, shaking himself down vigorously. Hestia grumbled and gave him an irritated look as if she was half convinced he'd shoved her down the dune. He just grinned toothily at her which made her flush and look away.

"I don't...oh hey, look!" Hestia's expression shifted from embarrassed irritation to pleasure as she pointed suddenly to something in the distance.

Gamzee shook his head again, sand shaking from his dark hair before glancing over at whatever had caught Hestia's attention- nearly sixty yards away was a giant building, nearly submerged in the dry sand. Gamzee squinted, eying the strange statues carved along the top arch of the doorway. Even at their current distance Gamzee could see the shimmer of gemstones set into the doorway and all three of them began to cautiously inch towards the building.

“So, what?” Gamzee squinted at the building.

Hestia made an enthused gesture with her hands, “Well, I think we should go down there and see what the fuck is happening in that freaky-ass building. Like what’s the worse that could happen?”

“We could be killed,” Koiboi said seriously.

“Well then we know not to do that shit the next time, right? Back me up, Gamz.”

Gamzee had forgotten what the conversation was even about, but he shrugged anyway and said, “Sure,” as he followed Hestia as she strode towards the half-buried structure.

_This shit is troll made,_ Gamzee thought when they got closer. And it was; the building had the sharp angles and twisted lines of Alternian born infrastructure and when they were a few meters from the doorway he could see thousands of lines of script carved into the dense black metal. Craning his head back he peered up at the statues, noting the horns and wild hair. However unlike most trolls the carvings were depicted with long tails and overly stretched limbs like some kind of beast from a story lusus told their wigglers at dawn, of day-walking monsters that would snatch them away if they misbehaved.

"Maybe it was an old place of worship? For our kind," Koiboi suggested off to the side, a small hand resting on the black metal of the wall, "Mother said there used to be many a faith at one time."

"Lucky it's abandoned them; I would'a killed any heathens," Hestia said with a confidant scoff.

Gamzee cocked his head to the side, eyes sliding down from the carvings until he was staring intently into the gaping dark maw of the building's entrance. Something was pulsing against his thinkpan, something dark, insidious and so very hungry.

"There's somethin' in there."

"Huh?" Hestia perked up from where she was mouthing along with the Alternian script, "How can ya tell?"

"Can't you feel them?" Gamzee said idly, still avidly looking at the darkness, "Some fucker in there is angry as shit. And starving."

"...should we leave? Or get a Priest?" Koiboi said quietly at the side, brow pinched with worry.

"But there's something in there," Hestia hissed, "What if it's heretics? We have a duty to sort them fuckers out." 

"Well it's a some _one_ ," Gamzee said. Despite his efforts he couldn't pinpoint where the mind was exactly or even who it was. Usually it was easy for him to locate a mind and skim through it but this one was like trying to grasp smoke; all he could taste was the general rage and hunger radiating from their mind and that was it. Nothing else he could sense, just the starvation and fury twisted within the inky blackness which caused a part of his mind to shudder.

It was interesting, feeling fear. He hadn't felt fear in such a long time and now the skin along his spine felt clammy and the palms of his hands began to get moist with sweat. A deep curiosity began to churn in his gut and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to find out who was the one lurking within this dead, ancient building. Slowly he began to walk forward, moving over the threshold of the building and the air went some mild to freezing.

"Alrightie, who're we hunting?" Hestia was suddenly at his side, eyes bright and small fangs bared. Gamzee barely paid her any mind, eye the interior of the building; it was utterly bare beyond a flight of stairs leading downwards and right at the end Gamzee caught the beginning of light. Considering how dusty everything was Gamzee doubted it was lamps or candles. Perhaps some kind of automatic

"Should...should we really descend? It seems dangerous," Koiboi's voice was wavering at this point but Gamzee was too focused on whoever was down there to really listen to his warnings. 

Hestia meanwhile replied with, "Look, if ya freaked just sit your ass there in the doorway! We'll check whoever it is and kick the shit outta them."

"Fine. I don't want to go down there, it's full of bad vibes. It should be left to be buried," Koiboi's voice was quiet as both Gamzee and Hestia descended down the stairs, eventually becoming enveloped within the black. Gamzee gave one look backwards and could see Koiboi's silhouette watching them form the top of the stairs, needle-shaped horns and wild hair making his form weirdly demented. Then the Bard looked back forward, peering into the darkness and seeing the steadily growing light, from where it veered towards the left.

Then they rounded the corner and-

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Hestia's screech nearly deafened him and Gamzee reflexively shut his eyes as bright light suddenly seared his eyes, momentarily blinding him. With a grunt he kept his hands pressed against his face, feeling Hestia bump into his side while cursing heavily. After a few moments of swaying from side to side partially blind, Gamzee finally managed to lower his hands, equinting through watery eyes and discovering just what the source of light was.

The entire room seemed to be constructed out of elaborate crystals and mirrors,. Most obvious was the colossal crystal hovering in the center of the room, long chains strung from each corner keeping it aloft, which was the source of the strange light. Then the hundreds of smaller crystals were holding the light with the mirrors redirecting it in persistent beams, shooting it further down the room and into another corridor on the opposite, also inlaid with the clear glowing gems and mirrors.

Gingerly Gamzee stepped inside, noting the door into the room had been torn off its hinges. The door had been carved from black steel as thick as his waist; judging from the sheer amount of thick rust coating it Gamzee guessed time eroded it enough the thing had fallen over. It must have been a very long time and he couldn't begin to guess how long the structure had been there. 

The whole room was just so _bright_. Gamzee ground his teeth together, stumbling forward a few more steps as he squinted past his fingers. It was so vibrant and Gamzee could still barely see, a sentiment Hestia obviously shared from her constant complaining at his side. 

"Why it is so fucking bright? What the shit?" 

"I dunno...but considering that huge ass door, I'd guess this was supposed to be some secret stuff or whatever."

"Valuable?" Hestia mumbled, walking into the bright room and squinting up at the bright crystal, "What is with that this? How it is glowing like that?"

"Lotta weird shit out there we dunno what it doing for who the fuck knows long, sis," Gamzee said.

"Hngh, I suppose...but fuckin' shit, nearly burned my remaining eye right outta my head. Why is it so bright, though?"

"I dunno, maybe it was to stop trolls or somethin'? Gander bulbs ain't happy, that's for sure," Gamzee grumbled. But still, he could feel the foreign mind and curiosity urged him forward so he walked across the room. As he passed the massive jewel in the centre he picked up the humming coming from the glowing gemstone which made his horns and teeth ache as he passed it. He knew better than to touch the strange gem even if he was drawn by the light but he forced that aside and focused back on whoever was lurking deeper within the bowels of the ancient building. The hall was bright and glaring like the first room and sloped downwards, heading deeper into the earth before splitting open into another room. This one was less bright so he could actually fully open his eyes; it was moreso because the back end of the room had caved in, leading to a massive sinkhole at the end of the bright room that plunged into inky blackness far below.

That was where the whispers of the foreign mind was coming from, along with the severe hunger and simmering rage.

"Least not being blinded here," Hestia grumbled, carefully touching one of the mirrors next to her before yanking her hand back with a hiss, "Shit, it's burnin' hot."

"Holding loads of light, half-blind sis," Gamzee replied.

"But why? What is with all this shit? It's...it's so weird, especially if it's troll made."

"Well who knows what the fuck any of us trolls got up to in past space adventures? Certainly been chilling up with the stars way longer than anyone has an idea," Gamzee said as he crossed the room to the lip of the sinkhole. Curiosity was so thick in his mind it was overpowering everything else and he'd never been good at listening to caution.

Hestia followed him, grumbling under her breath and hissing faintly as she squinted through her remaining eye ball. In the radiant light the cobalt gem wedged into her left eye socket sparkled, sending out blue fractures of light which bounded off the lenses of her cat-eye glasses.

"There's someone down there, ya know," Gamzee said, peering down the hole, He could see faint dots of blue light randomly sprinkled within the black but it was still a far cry from the blinding light in the other rooms.

Hestia joined him, squinting down into the yawning depths, "How ya know? I can't see a fuckin' thing."

"Ain't about sight, it's about-Aw shit," Gamzee said, a sigh in his voice. He caught the panicked expression on Hestia's face before a crystalline chime rang through the air and the floor crystal Gamzee was standing on collapsed, sending him falling down into the darkness below.

With a startled yelp he hit the ground, landing with a splash and a muffled curse.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust and he was surprised that he'd fallen down into a vast grotto into a ankle-deep pool. Massive stalagmites jutted from from the cold water which blanketed most of the ground, with some of the pools being extremely deep and others barely a few inches. Hundreds of stalactites hung from the ceiling like fangs, the rhythmic _drip drip drip_ of the water falling from their tips echoing through the grotto. The soft points of light Gamzee had noticed earlier were from the hundreds of blue mushrooms dotting the area; some were smaller than his claws and others were even larger than he was. 

But the most obvious was the psychic sense of hunger that enveloped the grotto and Gamzee peered about the darkness warily. There was someone else in here with him.

"Shit! Oi, you okay?" Hestia called from above and Gamzee glanced up at her.

He gave a wave, water droplets flying from his hand, "Yeah, I'm fine. Some weird-ass wet cave down here though."

"Alright, alright...uh, lemme go get some help okay? Don't fuck up and die," with that Hestia vanished from sight, disappearing back down the room and leaving Gamzee alone.

With a soft sigh Gamzee turned his attention back to the grotto. Curious, he knelt down and dipped his claws into the water; it was cool and clear, and on impulse he knelt down further and gulped down a mouthful. It had a slightly salty tinge to it but otherwise tasted normal. With a grunt he straightened back up before freezing in place as he heard a exhale of breath on the other side of the cavern.

Gamzee stared into the darkness further into the bowels of the grotto, squinting slightly. The soft illumination of the glowing mushrooms couldn't penetrate the thick blackness but nonetheless Gamzee could sense something stirring within the shadows. His psychics pulsed along his thinkpan, again the heavy feeling of hunger and rage seeped within his 'voodoos as whoever it was stirred. Then a cough, dry and wheezing, sounded out and made him jump. Then a voice spoke out from the darkness, high and reedy but with a surprisingly mocking edge.

"Build it up with wood and clay..."

Breath light and calm Gamzee's eyes darted around the grotto, trying to pick out the source of the voice but it seemed to echo through the cave. There was another cough which was quickly followed by a thin giggle and Gamzee swallowed thickly. He didn't know what to do and felt strangely _scared_ , of whatever was lurking in the dark. It'd been so long that he'd been around something unknown and the sheer hunger and rage lingering within the grotto felt like a stifling smog, his abilities making it so easy for him to pick up such negative emotions and the immense age of these, as if they'd been festering in this dark hole for an untold number of sweeps.

There was clattering, then the telltale _click click_ of sharp claws on stone and Gamzee squinted, sucking in a deep breath as he tried to figure out where the noise was. That proved pointless as shadows to his far left shifted and a adult troll staggered forth from the darkness. It a seadweller but he was unlike any Gamzee had ever seen; he was completely naked but seemed to be covered in strange, fish-like scales that clung tight to his emaciated frame. They would've been gleaming if fed but now they seemed like dull coins, most missing and exposing the black flesh clinging to his skeleton. His limbs were overly long and stretched, making him look like a demented puppet more than anything with all his bones shown in sharp edges from his deeply starved frame.

His horns were broken; only jagged stumps a stale yellow remained. The strange adult also lacked any hair and his fins, the trademark of his caste, were torn to shreds with only a few tatters of the membrane clinging to the long tines. Unlike any other seadweller Gamzee had seen the adult also had rows of fins along the backs of his forearms, legs, and bracketing his spine with the membrane likewise tattered and dead. A long tail flicked back and forth as a serpentine tongue lolled from the stranger's mouth and he licked at the air before stumbling forward a few more steps. As he did so the weak lighting from the mushrooms strengthened across his face and Gamzee blinked.

The adult's eyes were glazed over with a sour yellow tint and Gamzee took note that the ancient seadweller was blind. However Gamzee didn't relax at all, knowing from experience that a blind troll was just as dangerous as one with actual vision. The adult moved slowly from side to side, jaws opening and showing jagged fangs and it took the Bard a couple of seconds to realize what was wrong with his mouth- his entire jaw had been wired open, with two metal bolts embedded at the top joint of his jaw bone and keep him mouth stretched up in a massive, distorted smile. Gamzee took a step backwards in the shallow water with a near inaudible noise but instantly the adult snapped around towards him, mouth opening even further.

"If that looking glass gets broke..." the strange seadweller called out, twisting his head back on forth on his overly long neck. His thin nostrils twitched and flared before he swung around in Gamzee's direction and abruptly dropping to all fours and began crawling along the floor, long tail lolling back and forth.

"Who are you?" Gamzee spoke, voice low before he quickly flash stepped away. The adult instantly darted towards where Gamzee had spoken, mouth agape as he scuttled and limbs bent out awkwardly. Clinging to a stalactites a few yards away Gamzee eyed the adult as he started sniffing at the area the Bard had been standing, long nose pressing against the wet rock.

"Hush! Hush! Hush! Hush!"

"Who are you?" Gamzee repeated, once again flash stepping away as soon as he spoke. Again the adult moved, slinking over to the stalactites he'd been sitting on and huffing in a breath before licking the wet stone.

"I am the Nocturne," the adult said after a long moment of silence, sightless eyes rolling in their sunken sockets, "That is me."

"What is Nocturne?" Gamzee asked. He'd never heard of such a troll, from all the whispers and spying on the dreambubbles. Like before he was forced to move as the adult, the _Nocturne,_ immediately pursued his voice. The adult's emaciated frame bellied his speed, even while on all fours and if it wasn't for the billions of sweeps of experience with flash stepping he had little doubt the adult would easily catch him.

"Leave your supper, and leave your sleep. I would still catch them and eat them while they choked on blood and died. There'd be no work for tinkers' hands," the Nocturne's voice was raspy and high pitched as he groped about at the ground, finger-length claws producing horrible scraping noises as they scratched the wet stone ground of the grotto, sending ripples of water everywhere as he searched.

Keeping low and his footsteps light Gamzee inched across the grotto floor, feeling water lick at his ankles and soak the hem of pants. At the soft noise the Nocturne paused, head cocked to the side before very slowly he righted himself back up. Gamzee's eyes narrowed, noting the adult was near twelve feet tall- by far the tallest troll Gamzee had ever seen. The sinister vibes surrounding the lanky seadweller seemed stifling now and he couldn't understand why the Nocturne was dragging out such a reaction from him. Maybe it was how he moved, too jittery and quick, or his sightless eyes and clicking, raspy breath. Whatever it was, Gamzee wanted to leave but he was trapped; he just hoped Koiboi and Hestia got one of the Priests even if another part of him was curious as to what the Nocturne would do if he caught him even if he guessed it would involve messy eating.

As the Nocturne pivoted around, movements jerky and disorientated, Gamzee's eyes snagged onto the weird shackles bound around his lanky wrists and ankles. They'd been on the seadweller for so long his black flesh had partially grown over the gem-stone inlaid restrains. The gems seemed to be far smaller versions of the ones in the weird temple above and once again Gamzee wondered why they were there. Some kind of containment for the strange troll perhaps? Gamzee was unsure and the uncertainty made him nervous and fearful.

_At least he can't sniff out that,_ Gamzee thought, eyeing the adult as he groped uselessly at the air before him with overly long fingers. If he'd been a Subjugglator then the Nocturne would've picked up his emotions due to his 'voodoos but as it was the ancient blind troll seemed to be relying solely on his hearing to try finding Gamzee.

Then the Nocturne shifted forward and his body shuddered before partially dissolving into a thick black smog. Gamzee stared at the weird wraith-like creature the seadweller partially morphed into before the shackles around his wrist and ankles flared brilliantly and with a screech the seadweller's body solidified. Snapping his jaws the Nocturne twisted his long neck around and gnawed at his restraints only to yelp when the crystals flared again, making them both wince at the sudden brightness.

"Where? And she couldn't get up in the morning," the Nocturne rasped, giving up on his limb gnawing and staring blindly about with his glazed-over eyes. Gamzee said nothing, half clinging to a stalagmite as he eyed the adult warily. His raspy breathing and the weak light from the mushrooms were the only things Gamzee could track the Nocturne with, otherwise the ancient troll smelled like nothing and even his mind was just empty in a way it strangely reminded Gamzee of the Zahhaks, surrounded by Void and nothing.

"Why can't I feel ya mind?" Gamzee asked instead. Instantly he flash stepped, landing on a giant mushroom a few yards away that grew from the rocky wall. It wasn't a moment too soon for as soon as the words had barely passed his lips that the Nocturne twisted and moved, scuttling over to where he'd been standing not a second before with jaws and claws outstretched. The Nocturne's sunken face twisted up as he slapped at the shallow water Gamzee had been standing in, tattered fins twitching as he searched mindlessly.

Gamzee didn't know what to do; Kurloz's patience was warning him against delving into the old creature's mind and he was intent on keeping it so. Despite not reaching out with his mind the hunger emanating from the ancient being was massive enough it was engulfing his passive psychics.

With a soft noise the Nocturne entered one of the deeper pools close to Gamzee, sliding through the cold clear water with the grace of an overgrown eel. In the water his overly long gills looked like tattered seaweed, the large slits just below his grub scars flaring open as he breathed. The Bard remained crouched on top of the mushroom, claws digging into the soft blue flesh of the fungi. He was wary of the Nocturne but at the same time he was so utterly _fascinated_ by the ancient seadweller; of his numerous extra fins, long fish-like tail, to his strange almost shadowy form he took before. Also to even why he was trapped inside the building in the first place. If Gamzee was forced to guess, he'd wager the strange light contraptions in the room above were supposed to be some kind of weird prison for him, especially considering how strongly the Nocturne reacted to the light before and how the jewels on his wrists matched those in the rooms above.

Gamzee thought it over, watching the Nocturne as he swam through the pool of water; his deep black skin blended into darkness of the water and occasionally the weak light from the mushrooms made the few scales left clinging to his emaciated frame glitter. He must have looked marvelous back when he had all his fish-like scales and full violet membranes stretching between his various fins. Gamzee was always weak for shiny things. But now he had to escape, or he could simply sit on the mushroom and wait to die.

He was unsure which one he was going to pick.

The Nocturne slid around the water, seemingly just going in long, languid circles for no reason before rising back to the surface only a few yards from Gamzee's resting spot. His long claws scratched the rocky lip of the pool as he crawled from the water, long tail sending it splashing over the side as he moved with jerky motions before he started sniffing the air with his long, thin nose.

Then Gamzee tensed when he felt someones psychics sloppily brush against his own and it was more instinct then anything that made him seize the mind with his own. However he quickly recognized Koiboi's mind and stopped, especially when he caught the fuzzy impression the other Subjugglator was trying to give him and immediately his gaze darted towards the broken ceiling of the grotto where he could see Hestia and Koiboi; because of the light streaming through the hole all he could see were their silhouettes.

What he did notice was Koiboi holding something long in his hands which resembled a thick, knotted rope and began to silently lower it down from the lip of the hole and down into the grotto with Hestia keeping him steady.

Gamzee, however, noticed the Nocturne pause before turning his face slowly in the direction of the two other initiates and he quickly acted. Nimbly he hopped off the mushroom and darted further down into the grotto, deliberately letting his foot splash on one of the small pools of water. Like a wraith the Nocturne twisted around and was after him, jaws spread wide and hands clawing. The Nocturne was fast and long-limbed but Gamzee had the advantage of his small size compared with the ancient seadweller, and nimbly ducked underneath the adult's spindly legs and flash stepping towards the opposite end of the grotto where the clown duo were waiting for him.

Like a shot Gamzee raced up the rope, swiftly pulling himself up out of the grotto. As soon as he grabbed it and started climbing both Hestia and Koiboi starting hauling the rope up as well. Within seconds Gamzee was able to grab onto the floor of the room above, claws scratching the sparkling jewels as he hoisted himself up and fell over onto the ground with a grunt on top of Hestia and Koiboi. Something twisted weirdly in his mind and automatically Gamzee turned around and then yelped when long claws suddenly gored open the flesh of his forearm and the Nocturne was _right there_ , half clinging to the cave side directly below the collapsed room, one hand sinking deep into Gamzee's skin and the other producing horrid screeching noises as his talons scrabbled for purchase on the gem-riddled floor.

"What the utter _fuck_ is that thing?!" Hestia shrieked next to him, utterly panicked. She threw a mace at the Nocturne from her strife deck, hitting his bony shoulder and leaving open a gash as the adult snapped at the air around them; bubbles of melted flesh began to boil over the Nocturne's body as soon as it was exposed to the brightness of the room above and the adult screeched.

"Some fucked shit, let's go!" Gamzee yelled, ripping his arm free of the adult's clawing grip. The burning thrum of Rage, spurned on by his panic, bolstered his movements and with a vicious kick he managed to break the Nocturne's noise with a wet crunch and knocked the creature back down into the grotto.

"Don't leave me, don't leave!" the Nocturne's scream stabbed at his ear drums and without preamble Gamzee scrambled back up to his feet and bolted from the room, with Koiboi and Hestia close at his heels.

They were nearly blinded when they got through the corridor and into the first room with the hovering jewel but all three of them barely faltered before they shot out of the room until they was back near the entrance, the screams of the Nocturne fading as they passed the giant black metal doorway and stumbling back out into the desert air. It this point sundown had completely passed, leaving the sky clear and bright with millions of stars. Gamzee slowed down, before stopping and swaying in place as he inhaled the clear outside air with his bloodpusher hammering in his chest. 

"What the shit? Did you see that thing? What was it?" Hestia's voice was tight and wheezing, eyes wide as she cast panicked looks back through the door as if expecting the Nortune to burst forth. Gamzee just hummed, feeling dazed.

"I...I don't know," Koiboi was crouched on the ground, the thick rope held tight in his hands, "It resembled a seadweller, but...none I have ever seen nor heard of."

Gamzee at this point noticed a stinging in his arm which dragged his attention away from the stars and he looked down before giving a sigh, "Ah, fucker got me good," as he saw the ugly claw marks on his forearm; one had gone so deeply he could see the white glint of bone among the purple split flesh which was steadily pumping out rich blood and splattering the sand below.

"Fucking fuck fuck!" Hestia was instantly at his side, looking moments away from fainting or vomiting as she tore at her face and hair, leaving small scratches, "Oh fuck! Your arm! Motherfucker!"

Gamzee rolled his eyes and sat down, saying, "It's fine clown sis, I ain't dying."

"Oh hoofbeast shit!"

Someone cleared their throat irritably and Hestia screamed again, yanking a morning star from her strife deck in panicked reflex. A few feet away Occhio raised a painted eyebrow, looking supremely unimpressed with the three young clowns in various states of distress bleeding on the ground in front of him.

"We didn't do anything!" Hestia finally shrieked, looking incredibly guilty and panicked.

"Oh yeah? Then what's this shit, bleeding all over the dirt like a bunch of dumbfucks?"

Koiboi burst into tears and started sobbing into his hands as he collapsed onto the sand. Occhio just scowled in response, as if irritated by his crying but otherwise didn't shout at them. 

Hestia looked moments away from joining Koiboi as well but instead pointed at the adult in accusation, "What then! Why are you here?!"

"Waiting to see if you learned," Occhio replied, looking supremely unconcerned by her screams, "First fucking lesson! If you gotta call for help, _then fucking do it!_ Rock-headed initiates, I swear to the Messiahs."

"A...a lesson?" Hestia croaked out, looking as stunned as if Occhio had punched her.

"Duh! Ain't you using your audio ducts? We're a set piece now, in the Church. If you but called for help- 'cause we were right fucking there -then you wouldn't have been mauled but boo fucking hoo you didn't so you got fucked up," Occhio snarled, "It's a lesson and none of you are dead but that lil' shit is bleeding all out so I have to drag you back to the ol' needle man and hope it sinks right in."

The whole rest was a blur- Occhio grabbing the three of them, Hestia screaming some more while Koiboi cried, then being carried through the massive ship and suddenly finding himself sitting on a bench in a sterile room while Abutor clicked his tongue disapprovingly at him as the old troll started sorting through his Doctorturer equipment while Gamzee sat there on the table and bled. He felt dazed almost, nerves tingly both from the pain and the bizarre encounter with the Nocturne. Who had that old mad troll really been? Gamzee wished he could know more. 

Abutor _tsked_ again as he ran a finger along the exposed muscle on Gamzee's forearm, "Honestly, whenever you little sweetling wigglers go on a field trip someone _always_ ends up mauled. Every single time. At least no one is dead this time."

"Ain't their fault," Gamzee said, feeling woozy but hardly noticed the adult's invasive touching, "Anyway, they came back. That's like...more than I can say for the motherfucks who all got their friendship on with me before."

Abutor peered closely at Gamzee as the pads of his calloused fingers sank deeper into the sinew of Gamzee's torn flesh, "Doesn't that hurt, darling?"

Gamzee just shrugged, uncaring of the blood soaking his side and slicking down his forearm before dripping steadily onto the bench, "I'm used to this shit."

The Doctorturer's round face shifted into something troubled but he didn't question Gamzee's comment. Instead he pulled a strange gun-like thing from the nearby rack of equipment and pressed the curved, pointed muzzle into the nearest open claw mark and pulled the trigger; a thick, bright pink liquid spurted from the nozzle and the pain radiating from that wound vanished as the goo filled the gash. Abutor did this for each of the gaping claw-inflicted wounds before stitching the wounds shut with a dark green thread that smelled like mint. 

"You've been ill used, my sweet darling," Abutor said quietly. The sympathy and compassion in the old troll's face made Gamzee uncomfortable; he wasn't used to that and the last time he'd seen such expressions had been from Jane but she was long gone even if a ghost chose to remain with him. To avoid going down that line of thought Gamzee's eyes shifted back to his arm, watching Abutor's calm movements as the adult bandaged the wound. The fabric Abutor wrapped his forearm with looked like the discarded skin of a insect but Gamzee wasn't that worried. Bugs were useful and Abutor told him to unravel the skin the next day.

After that Abutor bade him farewell and Gamzee left to his room without a word. He felt so tired. He needed another nap.

The next day he peeled off the strange bandages and found that his arm was fully healed; only a line of delicate scar tissue, as light and silvery as the ones decorating his face, remained.

* * *

After that there was some kind of fighting class, once again delegated in their groups of twenty. Gamzee was half asleep, half interested- he remembered copious amounts of fighting in the Game, though he preferred to simply sit around eating pies and letting the various imps eat alongside him. However the adult Subjugglator in charge of the class facinated him, a big burly female who introduced herself as 'Lucile and I'm someone who is gonna help you keep yourselves alive'. 

"Fighting is, obviously, an essential skill," the stern-faced adult informed them. She was thickly built with muscular limbs and massive, spiky horns. Gamzee guessed she would've been able to give a Zahhak a run for their caegar in terms of a fist fight and he was fairly entranced as she paced slowly back in forth in front of them, watching the heavy muscles slide and bunch underneath her black, scarred skin.

"At the moment, most of the shit I'm going to be showing you and having you practice is more of a place holder though a lot of the theory is something you must familiarize yourself with," Lucile informed them, "After all, when you go through your adults molt in a bit, you're all gonna have to relearn how to fight. Your muscles, your body shape, your horns- all that will change with your molt and thus you must relearn how to fight. No point learning a concrete fighting style only for it to become a motherfuckin' moot point when you molt and suddenly your body can't do that anymore.

"Now! All of you will have strifedecks already, and all of you will have jokerkind- which means that any weapon you pick up, you can use. You're not like those lesser caste, who're too stupid and incompetent to wield more than one primary strifedeck. Instead they rely upon one and only have an ill-used one as backup. We, however, can use anything and as such you shall be taught in everything. Though obviously we have our favourites," with a fang-filled smile she pulled out a massive club from her strifedeck, wrapped thickly around the end with razor wire. She twirled the weapon easily with one hand, despite the fact the weapon was longer than one of Gamzee's legs. 

"Theoretical shit will actually help- though obviously there will be basic practice but that's only for reflexes and observation," Lucile began to walk back and forth, muscles moving fluidly under her heavily scarred skin, "As well as handling various weapons. We have our favourites, yes we do, but we must always be ready to adapt. For that, I'm going to have each of you come up here and spar with me. I won't hurt any of you motherfuckers but I will block and respond to get a feel for your various fighting skill levels. Alright, you at the front with the stick horns- come up here and show me what you got."

Gamzee watched, curious, as the small female initiate hesitantly joined Lucile in front. At the adult's encouragement she pulled out a long flail from her strifedeck before attacking Lucile. True to her words, the adult easily blocked and parried every attack, mostly using her bat but occasionally slapping aside the spiked flail with her hands with fluid movements.

"Move, move!" Lucile barked, causing the initiate to jump, "If you just stay still it makes you a way easier target! Dodge, duck, dip, dive and uh, dodge again 'cause it's twice as important. Always be moving, never stay in one place! You never know if the scum you're fighting has friends and if you stay immobile someone is liable to sneak around your blindspot and knife you one! Ya got two feet, use them!"

Lucile worked the initiate hard, occasionally darting in to jab a finger into the initiate's side in a proxy of an attack even though she had numerous opportunities to use her bat. But Gamzee figured Lucile was following the same rule as the Priestormentors; no physical violence used against the new Subjugglators. A strange rule, as Gamzee had been used to the violent behaviour of the SGRUB group- such as Vriska trying to literally beat romance into Tavros and the whole debacle between Eridan, Sollux and Feferi -and they were all wigglers as well but the adults seemed to be staying well away from using such tactics. Gamzee wasn't complaining though, as he didn't particularly like violence.

"All right, try not to plant your stance so strongly," Lucile said, darting underneath a whip of the flail and jabbing a finger into the initiate's back, causing the smaller female to stumble forward, "If you lock up too much all it takes it one solid hit to knock you off balance and even on your ass, which makes you easy pickings. Instead keep yourself loose and limber, ready to change positions at a moments notice. That way if you do get shoved over you can instantly adapt and regain your footing."

Then she darted in, grabbing the initiate's wrist and flinging the girl horn over feet and throwing her onto the floor with a _thud._ The initiate blinked dumbly from where she was sprawled on the ground until Lucile prodded her with a foot and she obediently dragged herself back over to the group of initiates and Lucile beckoned another one up to face her.

Methodically she began to go through the group, sparring with each of them until they were exhausted enough and she'd flip them over and pick out the next. Gamzee was near the end of the group, so he'd most likely be picked last but he watched the immensely one-sided fights all the same. Throughout it all Lucile wasn't struck, not once, and she kept up a steady stream of advice without any loss of breath.

"Always assume your opponent is never alone! Especially lowbloods- those vermin flock to each other and they're weak to the point they need mobs to take any one of us on," Lucile hopped backwards, easily parring an initiate's sword with a flick of her bat, "So if you fight one, always watch your back! Better yet, send a message and alert any fellow Subjugglators nearby! Sometimes you gotta dig deep to root those vermin out and another set of eyes is something you never turn down."

Lucile continued, "Also, don't forget your psychics! Mutare will be holding classes for them later, since he's the most proficient with 'em, and in general using your psychics with extreme precision during a fight only really works if you've got enough experience otherwise you'll fail the multitasking and get killed. However a good starting point is to simply cast out a blanket of your psychics, so you can gauge the general mood of your opponent- not the individual thought but enough you can anticipate their future moves. Of course, older, more experience opponents might be able to shift their thoughts and projecting falsehoods so there is so issues with that. Mutare will talk more about it later, but at the moment just try using your psychics _while_ attacking me. Don't worry- I won't be harmed. Oi, you there! You're up." 

Gamzee blinked, belatedly realizing she was talking to him. She beckoned him, saying, "Come on, hop to it."

With a grunt he got upright and trotted to the front until he was facing Lucile. She grinned at him, making a playful _bring it_ gesture and he obligingly pulled out the Warhammer of Zillyho from his strifedeck. Lucile cocked her head to the side at the brightly coloured hammer but otherwise made no comment before she moved. She was quick and strong but he could tell she was intentionally holding back to the point it was more like she was playfighting. Then again considering how big and muscular she was, that was a good thing. Otherwise she'd easily be able to snap him in half. He wouldn't win the fight, not without killing her at least.

As such when Lucile nimbly skipped around his side and swung the bat at his head in an immensely telegraphed move, he caught the bat in one hand, giving a grunt as the razor wire sliced deeply into his palm before being stopped by the multitude of bones in his hand.

Lucile blinked, purple eyes widening, before she gave an irriated grunt and yanked her bat back, shredding open the skin on his palm to the bone. 

"Urgh! There's always- motherfucker, there is _always_ -one of you little shits who grab it! You'd figure the razors wrapped around it would dissuade you, but I guess not," Lucile sighed. With a huff she stowed her bat back into the strifedeck before pulling a jar from her sylladex. Without pause she grabbed Gamzee's wrist and dumped a large dollop of foul-smelling orange goo onto his sliced open palm before putting the jar away. 

She then wrapped up his hand in bandages, while continuing to scold him and the class at large, "Okay, another rule of fighting! Don't just grab bladed weapons! You have no idea if they're poisoned. Therefore you lot will have poison training down the line, but until then try to avoid being blooded by your opponent and after a fight have a Doctorturer look you over- and keep some health supplies in your sylladex, okay? Dying from your injuries like an hour after a fight is a lousy way to go, or if it's just a flesh wound- like this numb-horned newbie just did to himself -you gotta seal it up because if the fucker you killed has friends, they can track you down by the scent of an open wound or your blood leavings. So remember that! The needle man will give you guys your own starter pack of 'how do I stop bleeding out in the field' shit so you have that to look forward to."

With a huff she tied off the bandage into a neat bow, tapping a long claw on the wrapping, "It should be healed up in the hour."

Gamzee just blinked, rather glad that the hand he'd used to grab the bat hadn't been the same one scarred by the unicorn. He wouldn't mind keeping that one scar.

Lucile gave a snort before shaking his shoulder to get his attention, "Okay, since you decided to mangle your hand you can have the fun job of sitting on your ass. Tomorrow I wanna see some better fighting, capiche?"

Gamzee stared blankly at her until she shook his shoulder again and he said, "I dunno who or what capiche is."

"Hm. It means 'do you understand?'"

"Oh. Yeah, this motherfucker knows what a sister wants then."

"Good. Now get that little ass back in that group and don't do that shit again."

* * *

Their next trip was more rural, by all accounts. It was on a massive planet inhabited by a slave race of the Empire, a species that reminded Gamzee of the imps in the Game, with short stout bodies, thin limbs, large teeth and big white eyes. However they were covered in black silky fur instead of chitinous plates and they were wearing drab clothing compared with the imp's circus-esque outfits. All of the imp-like people were tending to hundreds of vast ponds which took up the majority of space in the massive plains and swamp land. Dozens of winding paths ringed the lakes and strange machinery and cages were half submerged in the water. A few trolls, mostly low and midbloods, were patrolling the areas on the high rise catwalks, over seeing the toiling aliens who worked below. 

The sky was a deep orange and the moon was small and surrounded by several nigh-transparent rings. The lighting it cast made the ponds glimmer and Gamzee felt oddly warm, despite being certain there hadn't been that much of a change in temperature but regardless he enjoyed the new scenery, sniffing deeply and catching the scent of salt and something sweet that reminded him of sopor. Then he lost his footing and got his leg soaked up mid shin as he stumbled on the bank of one of the nearest ponds and would've fallen in if Occhio hadn't grabbed his horn and effortlessly tossed him back onto the path.

"Watch it," the Priestormentor said, "Some of the stuff in this lake can eat lil' wigglers like you just quick as fuck."

Gamzee just blinked at him before getting up, peering curiously at his sodden pant leg before shrugging it off and following the group. As always, they followed closely behind the Priest as he walked, having to hurry to keep up with the adult's long strides. Occhio led their group around one of the deep lakes, his cane going _clack clack clack_ on the tiled path, ignoring the imp creatures and hissing when a greenblood made the mistake of trying to greet him and sending her scurrying away.

"What is this place, anyway?" Hestia asked, peering closely at one of the nearby aliens. It didn't shy away or flinch at her proximity, instead continuing its task of sluicing through the bank side with a blank expression on its face.

"It's one of the fishing planets," Occhio said, "These scum here are allowed to live out their worthless lives tending to the mass fish facilities we have here. They live and die, but live they do. Anyway they spend their wholes lives being one of the planets that provides the food for the Empire. Due to this planets immense oceans and plentiful lakes, ponds and rivers, this one was chosen for seafood and fish."

To demonstrate Occhio twirled his staff with a flourish and then jabbed it into the pond; when he pulled it out a thrashing fish with gold scales was impaled on the sharp point.

"But yeah, sometimes you'll be on planets where there will be sapient wildlife. You'll need to learn on how to quickly size up and deal with those inhabitants," Occhio said, before pulling the wiggling fish off the tip of his staff and snapping it up whole with a flash of his sharp teeth. He swallowed and licked his lips before carrying on down the path, saying, "Planets like these have enslaved life, so they're usually well tamed enough they won't harm you- but you still have to be careful, on guard. These fuckers may try biting the hand that feeds them so you always gotta keep an eye out."

He stopped and pivoted quickly, robes swirling around him. At this point the youngsters were more used to the Priest's movements with most just stopping and watching him. The old troll smiled, sharp and cold, before gesturing around him, "So go and speak with some of the people here- handlers and aliens included. Also basic treading through water is something you'll be taught later on so go try some drowning if you're in the mood. But anyway, same shit different location, understood?"

Murmurs of agreement rang through the group before they scattered. Occhio meanwhile crouched and then leapt up at least twenty feet and landing on top of the catwalks above, startling one of the teals standing up there and nearly making her fall off the platform with a yelp.

Gamzee hummed and instead squatted down and stared at the edge of the lake, occasionally catching a glimpse of a flash of fin and tale from the fish. Curious, he reached out with his psychics but to his disappointment none of the fish were sapient. Gamzee would've been content to simply spend the whole trip watching the fish as they swam about underneath the deep water but Hestia chose that moment to start kicking him in the shin.

"What?" he said, more interested in watching the shadows of the fish. 

"Let's fuck off and explore."

"Hnn."

"Oh come on! This is boring shit and I was made to talk about you and fuckall when we arrived on that bloody ship! So get off that ass and lets go."

Gamzee groaned before dragging himself upright. He was tempted to shove Hestia in the lake but knew if he did so Occhio would probably give him a severe telling off.

Gamzee was more fascinated by the aliens as his knowledge of other life was moreso limited to humans, carapacians and Game enemies, so he stopped to closely inspect one before they stepped off the path. Speaking to it directly got no response and the alien continued to methodically pluck weeds from the lakeside with such a blank expression on its face Gamzee gave up after a few moments.

"Wonder what they're called?" Gamzee remarked as he joined up with Hestia, "Like as a species and whatever. Gotta have a name yeah?"

"Who cares? Fuckers are slaves now, ain't worth shit."

"Thought slavers sold 'em? That's like...uh, caeger, right?"

Hestia opened her mouth to reply before shutting it with a sharp _snap._ Then her expression cleared and she said, "Okay whatever, I'm shit at that number fuckery anyway. Let's go," and with that she snagged his wrist with a hand and pulled him along.

Gamzee didn't know where she was leading him and frankly couldn't muster up enough concern to care. He did note Hestia's walking was taking them past the lakes in the grassy plain and towards the thick swamp-like areas. Here the air began to noticeably get denser, wetness beginning to slide along Gamzee's exposed skin and soak into his thick hair. Hestia seemed much the same, when she turned back to look back at him her grey skin had hundreds of small droplets clinging to it and the large jewel wedged into her left eye socket gleamed.

Pointing a short claw to the left Hestia said, "How about we check out that lake, yeah? 'Cause it's all weird swampy shit and I all grew up near shit that never looked anything like that. Maybe they have new fish? Fishes? Whatever, can grab a snackage 'cause I'm kinda hungry."

Humming in response Gamzee allowed Hestia to drag him along, following the mossy path down towards another deep pond within the marsh land. The path was cracked and overgrown, matching the thick foliage and strange trees ringing the area. The lake they found in the marsh was strangely deserted, with none of the enslaved alien species there. If anything Gamzee preferred the wild plant life and dilapidated fencing compared with the weirdly bare plain ponds.

"Hey, look at that weird-ass log," Hestia said, pulling her hand away from Gamzee's wrist and pointing towards the center of the pond. Sure enough there seemed to be a gigantic, oddly spiky log floating in the middle, undulating from side to side.

"Maybe we should all and give it a poke," Gamzee said as he squatted down, long blades of grass brushing against his hands.

"It...huh, looks like it's movin'? Maybe it's got some place to be."

"...Don't think it's a log. Dunno. Maybe we should check."

Hestia gave a grunt and tentatively stepped forward, now on the lip of the sharp water bank. Her foot sank into the thick, slick mud and she nearly lost her footing before she stumbled backwards with an irritated hiss. Gamzee watched as she wobbled back and forth a few times, eyeing the log with a glare on her round face. At this point Gamzee was fairly sure the weird log was actually some kind of fish or something else living, a suspicion Hestia obviously shared as she suddenly bent down, picked up a rock, and hurled it at the log.

It collided with a dull _thonk_ and the log very slowly submerged itself into the pond, disappearing from view with a ripple of water and bubbles.

"Oi, what the fuck was that?" Hestia exclaimed, mouth agape.

"Guess it does got shit to do," Gamzee just shrugged. He wasn't that concerned.

"Yeah but-hey," Hestia's voice was suddenly low, nervous even, "Do you hear that?"

Gamzee blinked, noting the oddly intense expression on Hestia's round face; her brow was furrowed, buck teeth digging into her lower lip and ears perked up high and alert. Gamzee cocked his head to the side, aware of how strangely silent everything was but more than that he could suddenly feel other minds, minds dark and old and frantic, surging around them. Ones he'd utterly ignored in his compliant state and ended up with the two Subjugglator's completely surrounded and from the menace radiating from those strange minds Gamzee knew they weren't in a good place.

Then there was a clatter and a grenade suddenly appeared in a small puff of smoke in the slick grass front of them, bright lights counting down on the side accompanied by high pitched beeping.

The two stared at it before Gamzee spoke, "We fucked up."

"What-"

The earsplitting _clap_ of the grenade going off drowned out all other senses and before Gamzee could reach the two of them were blown into unconsciousness.

* * *

Gamzee woke within the hour, keeping himself prone and unmoving even as his mind abruptly came alert. Around him he could feel a multitude of minds, two familiar and pulsing with chucklevoodoos, but the rest were all foreign and full of malice. They also seemed too old, too heavy with memories to be any other initiates and their lack of 'voodoos confirmed they weren't any of the Priests. Which only left the option he'd somehow ended up captured.

He didn't know where they moved him and he was lying on his side onto of bars. A cage, most likely. There was some mild throbbing at his horns, lingering effects from the sonic concussion grenade, but other than that he felt unharmed. His limbs weren't restrained which either meant his captors figured he was contained well enough in the cage, or had nothing to fear from an adolescent clown.

Despite that Gamzee wasn't afraid. Either he'd live or he'd die through the experience; one of the other, he wasn't that concerned.

With that in mind he opened his eyes, blinking a few times as bright spots drifting past his vision before sitting upright with a grunt. As he expected he was inside a giant iron cage but he wasn't alone; lying next to him was Hestia, still unconscious, and across from him huddled in a back corner was Koiboi. Unlike Hestia Koiboi was awake, with his knees drawn up to his chest and eyes wide with panic. Gamzee smiled at him, trying to be vaguely reassuring, but the other troll's attention was focused past Gamzee's shoulder, beyond the cage.

Even before he turned his head someone cleared their throat loudly and slowly Gamzee shifted until he was facing forward, expression bored as he looked up at his captors.

It was an assortment of lowblood's, with a sloe eyed green being the one standing at the forefront of the group. They were wearing clothes that were tattered and torn, matching their own exhausted and thickly scarred bodies. A few even had prosthetic limbs with the robotics looking as if they'd been made from scrap, thickly rusted and dented. All of the trolls also had strangely small, rounded horns that reminded Gamzee strongly of Karkat for some reason.

But the most obvious thing was that they were all adults, skin a deep rich black and eyes fully filled with their blood colour.

The greenblood moved forward, robotic right arm clicking as she squatted down in front of the cage. Her eyes were bright and held a strange frantic gleam, the expression matching her bright smile. A long whip was coiled at her belt and even as he looked at it her hand dropped to the leather hilt as her smile widened. The other trolls were grouped a few feet away from her; she was obviously their pseudo leader. Gamzee's gaze slid towards the back group, ignoring how the green kept on smiling; there was mostly rusts and browns but he noted a short yellow swaying back and forth near the back. His eyes narrowed but before he could think on it further the green spoke to them.

"Did you have a nice nap?" her voice was smooth and warm but Gamzee wasn't fooled. Neither of the Subjugglators responded and it was then Hestia started to stir, groaning faintly as she sat up.

"Oi, what the fuck? Where th' absolute shit am I," Hestia snarled under her breath, smudging her facepaint as she rubbed irritably at her brow. She seemed utterly oblivious to their current captive state, instead grumbling as she looked around before spotting Koiboi huddled against the corner and snapping, "The fuck you doing here?"

"He was following you two," the greenblood said, making Hestia jump, "He was very careful, too. We nearly missed him when we subdued you two but he couldn't help but approach when you both lost consciousness. So...helpful." 

"Who the fuck are you, then?" Hestia snapped, her hostility leaping right up to boiling point and ignoring the rest of the midblood's speech.

The greenblood's smile grew larger, showing gum and stained teeth, "We are the followers of the one truth path, the one true Messiah."

"Oh screw right off, like you dumbshits know _anything_ about faith," Hestia said in scathing tones. Gamzee had to give the irate girl some credit; even though he could sense the growing fear in her mind she purely showing her rage to the enemy.

Humming thoughtfully the green wrapped her fingers around the whip handle but didn't unfurl it from her waist, "True heretics, you lot are, for worshiping Messiahs who do not exist; ours was flesh and blood and his promise rang through the cosmos through his death," her voice gained a low, almost automatic drone to it and Gamzee heard murmurs of agreement from the other lowbloods grouped behind her.

"Yeah whatever!" Hestia snapped from where she was sitting, "Like it's rude enough you scumblooded fucks are alive when literally no one wants you, but to pull this disrespectful shit is the height of dumbfuckery for you ill-breed morons! I ain't-"

The sharp tip of the whip smacked her right across the face, snapping her head to the side and knocking her heavily over onto her side. Gamzee blinked and Koiboi cringed backwards, hands shooting up to his own face.

"Now you're being a rude ass," Gamzee commented idly. He didn't try to help Hestia, knowing her enraged pride wouldn't appreciate nor accept it in their current situation. True enough, after a brief pause Hestia sat back up, eyes defiant and rage thrumming thick through her mind while ignoring the purple blood steadily oozing from the new cut on her cheek.

"Your kind are those who know nothing," the greenblood said, looping the whip between her fingers, "You refused to heed His words and instead strung him up, killed him. Well you only silenced Him and his Descendant shall come to see us right and your filthy kind can finally be forced into your appropriate and Messiah-given place below us in the hemospectrum as He said."

Hestia's laugh was loud and mocking, "Oh that's rich, you dumbfucks can't even get your basic ass hemospectrum right! Like you'll ever been equal to us and your fuckheaded blasphemous fakeass Messiah-"

Another blow across the face from the whip sent Hestia sprawling backwards, stopping her mid rant. This time when she got back up her bottom lip had been split open, blood staining the paint on her chin. Still her eyes were bright with fury, the jewel gleaming like ice.

"Quiet, worthless one," the greenblood said. She ran her fingers over the end of the whip, claws getting stained in purple, before fixing her maniac stare back on them again, "You are no one of note, just one of the many curs to be put down," her wide eyes darted to Gamzee, gaze sliding down to his shirt and staring at the symbol there for a long moment before she hissed, "As for you," the green pointed a sharp talon at Gamzee, expression becoming severe, "We know you- resulting slurry of that beast of yours who killed one of the true followers of His Will, murdered him on that filthy planet the false queen claimed as her own. Of the brute leading the lying Church following false gods."

_Kurloz,_ Gamzee blinked. He had little doubt this was who she was referring to, to the Alternian version of his Dancestor. The one who killed the Summoner and died soon after. Who formed the catalyst for the adults being banished from their home planet. Which meant she knew he was the Descendant of the Grand Highblood. He was unsure if that complicated things. 

Ignoring her for a moment Gamzee glanced over at Koiboi and Hestia; both had matching expressions of confusion on their faces, which meant they didn't understand what the greenblood was talking about. 

He felt the sudden spike of emotion from the greenblood before he heard the whistle of the whip crack through the air and without looking he seized the whip just inches before it could strike his face, grip like iron as he held the bloody tip just inches shy of his face. Slowly he turned, the whip still firmly clenched in his hand as he stared at the greenblood was an utterly blank expression on his features. She stared back, arm outstretched before letting out a low snarl and snapping her arm back. The sharp movement resulted in Gamzee being yanked onto his feet and nearly hitting the bars of the cage. In retaliation Gamzee seized the whip with both hands and yanked as hard as he could; she obviously wasn't expecting this and stumbled forward and hit the metal bars face first with a dull _thunk._

Before she could right herself Koiboi was suddenly right there in front of him, a long white needle sinking deep into the greenblood's left eye in one lightning fast move.

"Fucking shit!" Hestia's shriek jerked Gamzee out of his staring, even as the green yowled and threw herself backwards, the needle still embedded in her eyeball. In that instant Gamzee released the whip and reached out with his psychics, seizing mental control of one of the trolls in the back. It was the yellowblood, a psionic with horns filled down into small nubs just like the rest, and Gamzee shoved aside the yellow's own roiling mind and controlled her movements and forcing her to release a massive blast of energy from her mismatched eyes; the beams instantly disintegrated a rust and brown who were in front of her before the beams struck the side of their cage, melting the metal and narrowly avoiding blowing Gamzee's head clean off. As soon as they were free, Gamzee used his chucklevoodoos to psychically knock out the yellowblood still held in his thrall, causing her to collapse on the ground inert but uninjured.

A second later he was up and out of the cage, leaping over the melted metal with Koiboi and Hestia right behind him. Koiboi looked near to fainting but held his remaining needle close and Hestia screamed something intelligible at the Lowbloods who were getting back to their feet. She looked seconds away from attacking them with raw tooth and claw, and Gamzee had to grab her wrist and yank her forward alongside him. It was a confusing moment; a rust pounced at them, teeth jagged and eyes wild, with his nails clawing open Gamzee's shirt and nearly ripping open his collarbone. Reflex made him punch the rust, small fist hitting the adult's jaw. It didn't even make him falter and Gamzee had to concede they just weren't built to fight on that hand-to-hand level yet.

Before he could do anything else Hestia stuck the adult in the horn with a morning star, the spiked ball smacking into the orange keratin and sending him staggering backwards. It was only temporary and with a maniac scream the green was there, the needle still jutting from her eye. Gamzee just pulled his head down and rammed the greenblood, the tips of his horns puncturing her shirt and sinking into the thick skin of her abdomen and making her stumble back with a grunt.

The three initiates had no idea where they were, just stuck in some dilapidated building so they flung themselves through the broken windows as soon as as the green was knocked back by Gamzee. They hit the slope of the hill the building was on and rolled downwards in a tangle of limbs, Gamzee giving a snarl as they bounced down the rocky hill and went crashing headlong into the swampy ground below.

"Eurgh!" Hestia's shriek nearly deafened him as she'd landed on top of him in the shallow marsh. With a blur of limbs she stumbled off him, face covered in blood and running facepaint.

Before Gamzee could ask if they were alright, the sloe-eyed greenblood suddenly flash stepped behind Hestia, a long sword poised to lop her head off. Gamzee was moving before he'd even registered it, swampy water swirling behind him as he flung Hestia off to the side, Rage surging up within him like a bonfire. With a vicious hiss Gamzee seized the sword blade in one hand, the sharp steel shattering in his grip with a crystalline cry.

As quickly as his anger had flared up it vanished, leaving him feeling light headed and woozy while the greenblood stared at him in open mouthed shock, still gripping the handle of her broken sword.

Then with a scream of fury Hetsia flung herself at the greenblood, her small claws catching the side of the adult's remaining eye and shredding open the delicate membrane and a moment later Koiboi skidded past, ducking underneath the greenblood's flailing limbs as she tried to pry Hestia off her face and with a soft noise his remaining needled punctured into the thick skin of the adult's throat, darting in and out of the black flesh in a spray of blood.

"We have to move!" Koiboi said in a shrill voice, heaving himself out of the shallow water; his wild hair was soaked through and his clothes were sodden as he ducked underneath the blinded greenblood's thrashing limbs.

On the end of Koiboi's remark Gamzee caught several minds speeding towards them and without further ado the three initiates took off, sprinting further into the thick marsh. They had the advantage of being barely half the size of the adults, making it far easier to dart through the roots and heavy foliage of the swamp. However the adults were stronger with much longer strides, with one even using a massive sword to slice through the undergrowth in fast pursuit.

"Where the fuck are the Priests?!" Hestia shouted, leaping over a twisted root and nearly faceplanting into the flood bank. Gamzee, well used to the twisting landscape of SGRUB, suffered no such hindrances and next to him Koiboi had his skirts hiked up in his fists to allow easier movement. 

"I sent one a message when I awoke- we just have to find them," Koiboi's breath came in a wheezing huff and something nagged at Gamzee at his tone. Before he could speak a massive razor-sharp disk suddenly slammed into the tree above them, severing it in half and making Koiboi scream.

"Aw fuck, lemme handle it-" with that he grabbed both Hestia and Koiboi by the wrists and flash stepped; his sheer experience in it meant he was able to cross far greater distances but he didn't bother accounting for the alien landscape so he ended up going headlong into a another water bank nearly two hundred yards later, smacking into it and sending all three of them flying, whacking into a weird plant and then sprawling into another shallow pond.

"What the fuck was that shit?" Hestia yelled, shoving him hard in the shoulder as she got up and looking a few moments from screaming or attacking him.

"Uh, I fucked up so yeah my bad," Gamzee just shrugged, sitting up covered in mud and bog water, "But got some distance on those fuckers, yeah?"

"...Where are we?" Koiboi's voice was hesitant as he carefully stood up, leaning over slightly.

Gamzee didn't respond; he had no idea where they were. The whole area was now just dense marsh land, with mossy water up to their ankles and thick trees that blotted out the sunlight. The hum of insects and chirp of birds was loud and Gamzee reached out with his psychics, trying to detect the adults. Nothing, as far as he could tell, beyond the faint rage and fanaticism danging at the very cusp of his senses. Still, it would take a few minutes for the strange adults to catch them.

"Dunno, but those tenacious fucks ain't gonna catch us for a while," Gamzee finally said.

"Who even were they?" Hestia said, breath wheezing slightly, "And what was that shit about their 'messiah' and whatever they were doin' wid you?"

Gamzee just shrugged and Hestia gave him an irritated look before rubbing a finger across the two cuts on her face. They were still bleeding, but sluggishly now and the flesh around the wounds were puffy and shiny. Other than that she seemed unarmed, hair sodden and clothing dripping. Gamzee guessed he didn't look better but he was curious as to the strange adults they'd met. They weren't purplebloods, which in itself was a novelty, and all their horns were all weirdly small, looking too much like a Vantas for him to be comfortable with.

"Oh," Hestia suddenly said, voice soft. Gamzee gave her a quizzical look, noting how her mouth was agape and an expression of panic rapidly spread across her round face. With confusion Gamzee watched as Hestia's eyes widened even further until he was worried they'd pop out of her head and she seized a handful of her wild hair before leaping forward towards Koiboi with panicked movements.

"Eh...you all good, sis?"

"Shit! Shit! Are you fucking me?! Look at him!" Hestia gestured wildly to where Koiboi was leaning up against the tree trunk; the troll in question, while having a hand pressed against his chest, seemed more wary of Hestia at the moment than their pursuers.

"Wait, what's wrong with him?" Gamzee said.

"He's been stabbed right in the tit! Look! He's fuckin' bleeding all ov'a everythin'!"

Gamzee obliged, looking at the troll in question; while there _was_ a knife embedded in the top Koiboi's left breast, there was only a fairly average stain of purple colouring Koiboi's shirt. Otherwise the troll was keeping a firm pressure on the surrounding area, taking care not to jostle the blade when he shifted slightly against the tree. If he had to guess, Gamzee would say one of the adults managed to tag him with the weapon when they fled in the confusion and the shock prevented the troll from noticing at first.

Koiboi didn't seem that bothered however and was frowning as he responded, "I'm fine; it doesn't even hurt that much."

"There's a knife right in your tit! Right in your tit meat!" Hestia said, her voice high pitched, "Stop being so calm!"

"What's the problem?" Gamzee asked, "So yeah someone got a poke real good at him but he ain't bothered."

"As I said, I'm fine," Koiboi said again, still keeping a hand firmly pressed to his chest on the flesh around the wound, "It isn't that deep, non fatal."

"Oh fuck that! You ain't fine, you bleedin' all over! Fucking fuck fuck!"

"Hestia," Gamzee's voice was low but he deliberately spoke with both voice and mind, causing the other two clowns to freeze. When he was certain he had both of their attention he focused his stare onto Hestia, "He ain't dying, but if you keep hollerin' like that those motherfuckers are gonna catch up to our asses and make it so."

There was a brief silence before Koiboi added, "He's right. We must be silent and wait for aid. Ananke was alerted and they shall be there soon. So shush, it is not that painful."

Hestia looked like she was about to start screaming again anyway, purple painted lips peeling back and hands curling into fists. But before she could act there was a faint rasp and suddenly Gratia was _right there_ , landing as nimbly and silently as a meowbeast on the thickset branch a few feet above them. Hestia made a strangled noise while Koiboi twitched violently. Gamzee didn't react beyond a slow blink and the Priestormentor looked at them in turn before directing their full attention on Koiboi who was still slumped against the tree. He made a distressed noise when the adult was suddenly kneeling him front of him, uncaring of the water, but Gratia's painted face held nothing but concern as they eyed the knife jutting from Koiboi's chest.

"Here," Gratia said slowly. Carefully the Priest used a long claw to slice into Koiboi's shirt so they could get at the bleeding wound. Quickly, before Koiboi could protest, they yanked the blade free and causing him to let out a small gasp of pain. With one fluid movement Gratia slapped a palm over the wound, hand covered in a strange green gel. When the Priest pulled back their hand, the slightly translucent gel remained nehind, covering Koiboi's knife wound and halting the bleeding.

A far off cluster of voices caught all four of their attention; Gratia stood in one fluid movement, ejected a massive staff tipped with a bell from their strife deck as they rose. Gratia eyed the shrubbery before pointing north and saying in their slurred voice, "Take him back to the ship. I will deal with the heretics."

There was such a note of sternness in their voice Gamzee didn't bother to disobey so he dragged Koiboi upright and seized Hestia's upper arm and with a blur he flash stepped away, the two in tow. True to Gratia's directions, in going north they eventually stumbled out of the bog land and near the plains, seeing the massive catwalks and the familiar, towering spaceship. In seconds they were there, half falling over themselves to the shock of the other initiates who had been gathered back up in front of the walk way and the rage of Occhio.

Before Gamzee could even try to explain the situation to Occhio, Abutor was suddenly there and inspecting Koiboi's wound. The youngster shied away from the adult's touch but eventually allowed himself to be ushered away. By then Hestia's calm broke and she explained the situation to an irate Occhio and an Eminor who'd joined them in the commotion. As soon as she said 'Sufferist' both the Priestormentors were regarding them with needle-sharp interest but then Gratia showed up, grim faced and splattered thickly in red and brown blood. Gratia and Eminor conversed in lightning fast sign language before both vanished, with Occhio grouchy and left behind to watch over them. 

Then he was hurled off to Abutor's clinic and got lectured, poke and prodded. Gamzee honestly wasn't bothered by his wounds- most were skin deep anyway -but Abutor insisted on scrubbed them down and fixing them, before Gamzee was dealt to an interrogation about what occurred which seemed to just be examining his memories and demanding answers. By the time that had finally finished, five hours had passed and he was near dead on his feet when he ended up at his quarters.

Gamzee had barely flopped into his 'coon before he went tumbling into sleep.

* * *

Nearly a week later Gamzee got in trouble; he wasn't even too sure what it was about. Some female initiate started bothering him in what he fairly sure was a pitch inclination and before Gamzee even knew what happened his teeth were in his face and someone was screaming.

Gratia pried him off her and gave him a harsh scolding and he got banned into a corner. Quite frankly he would've preferred being punched in the face compared with the expression of disappointment Gratia leveled at him. He wasn't sure why it hurt so much, but he felt a slowly growing urge to accept the Church but now because of a fellow pushy clown that was in jeopardy. However Gratia told them they weren't going to be punishing him too much but he had to learn attacking fellow members of the faith was not allowed at all. Gamzee knew that but he just wanted that female to leave him alone. He didn't like pitch, didn't want it ever again. At least Gratia seemed to accept that explanation, even if they gently told him that simply turning her down rather than mauling her would've been a far better response. At least the girl herself had no grudge against him from it, and likewise got told off by Gratia for not paying attention to the emotional state of her fellows. Basically the whole thing was a mess and Gamzee wasn't happy.

He hated black romance.

* * *

Their next field trip was to a space station the very next day and far less adventurous. Gamzee didn't understand why Gratia kept calling them 'field trips' since they very rarely ever visited fields, but whatever, he felt it was a relief from running through a sweaty jungle after being briefly captured along with mauling a fellow clown even if Abutor fixed her, and since it was more of a tour Gamzee didn't feel overly pressured like he did from their earlier planet-side trip. It also helped that due to their blood caste they were rather sturdy so he felt completely fine the next day, and when he saw Hestia and Koiboi he noted their wounds were also fixed when he came across them. Vulnus really knew his way around the body of a troll.

The space station itself was huge and according to Occhio housed the main museum of the Church. Gamzee didn't really know what a museum was, beyond remembering Equius talking extensively about one back on Alternia at some point but from what Occhio described it was like a giant history walk through or a display area. Despite himself, Gamzee couldn't help but be fairly curious about it; he couldn't remember anything really from his time back on Alternia before SGRUB, due to being stoned out of his thinkpan for the majority of it. From Kurloz he knew a large amount of Beforus history, but as Gamzee he couldn't really remember anything so he was actually looking forward to the trip even if they didn't go to any fields.

This time only Eminor and Abutor accompanied them, leading them in groups of a dozen around the giant museum. Eminor spoke- or at least signed -the history of each object and portrait as they passed. Gamzee had no problem understanding the female Priestormentor's sign language, but with the other initiates they were still struggling to understand what the hand motions meant, so Abutor would typically start a translation when Eminor began. Gamzee still found it amusing how Abutor usually ignored all the swear words Eminor put into her hand speech, along with adding his own verbal tic of using endearing nicknames.

The museum had dozens of halls branching off from the main one but the two chaperons ignore this first and instead lead the group right to the end of the main hall. It took a while to wander down there and Gamzee was mostly distracted by the sheer size of the museum. Despite being within a space station the walls looked as if they were made from the bones of hundreds of creatures and the arches forming the roof were over thirty feet high, with the floors being just as wide. Considering each arch was akin to a vast rib it made him wonder just what was the creatures that formed the body of the museum- probably something as vast as a dragon. Hundreds of troll skulls were attached to the wall with purple candles fixed onto the horns. The dripping wax made numerous rippling puddles across the floors which were likewise made from thousands of bones from the legs and arms of trolls dead for thousands of sweeps. In the middle of the ceiling at the center of the main hall was a colossal chandelier made from hundreds of ribs, spines and teeth. The main piece of the chandelier however was the central skull held up by several giant spinal columns, with a familiar pair of towering horns with two tyrian coloured candles fixed to the points.

Eminor pointed at the chandelier as they passed underneath it on their way to the end of the hall and started to sign and Abutor immediately started translating, "And that my darlings is the head of the Empress before Her Imperious Condescension; our beautiful current Empress so kindly donated it to our church eight hundred sweeps ago. It used to reside in her throne room but she rearranged things and thus decided to give it to us. Said it was 'carpin' her style' or some such."

"Did you see her fight the previous Empress?" one of the other initiates asked as they peered up at the skull dangling far above him.

Abutor beamed, clearly pleased as he clapped his hands together, "I did! I was one of the few who saw the Condesce before she became Empress; I was barely more than a wiggler in terms of the Church historical march and I saw her confront and kill the previous tyrian leader and take her throne. What a marvelous night that was."

"So...How old are you exactly?" the initiate apparently couldn't help but ask. A few others glanced over at the troll in question as well and Gamzee blinked, curious despite himself.

The Doctorturer simply tsked loudly before carrying on, while Eminor gave the initiate a wide grin and shepherding them forward again. Gamzee lagged at the back of the group, wondered how long it had taken these bone walls to be made or if this museum was originally on Alternia and thus carved from the bones of great lusus and native trolls before it got moved when the adults were banished from the homeworld.

Then Abutor cleared his throat and Gamzee tore his gaze from the morbid ceiling to the back wall the Doctorurer was gesturing towards; the surface was made from hundreds of bones so tightly compacted and smoothed down they appeared as if one and the slightly yellow surface was bare apart from ten lines of Alternian script and Gamzee struggled to make out the spiky purple text.

"These are the Ten Tenants, or just the tenants," Abutor explained softly as Eminor signed next to him, "They used to be called the Ten Commandments but it didn't quite have the alliterative ring to it, so they were changed. Take note of these, darlings, and memorize them well. There will be lessons later further explaining these but in the meantime draw them into your thinkpan and cherish them closely."

"Learn these, sweetlings. They are what we are and shape us as a caste. Each is a law you shall not break- some are obvious, such as having the Messiahs as your only worship and to not speak ill of them. Others are about treating fellow Church members with appropriate respect and dignity; obvious things," Abutor said calmly, translating Eminor's fluid hand moments.

A small female troll spoke up, asking hesitantly, "What does it mean by 'you shall not utter the true name of the Messiahs'? I thought the Messiahs had no names? They just were?"

Abutor smiled, "That's true but these tenants were written when the Church was founded which was back before trolls even had spaceflight. The true name of the Messiahs was lost, as it was blaspheme to speak them aloud so they eventually slipped from memory."

Gamzee said nothing, even if a part of him was rather sure exactly _why_ the Messiahs names were never supposed to be uttered aloud. But they were dead and he selfishly wanted to keep their memories to himself so he held his tongue.

After spending a few more moments speaking on the tenants- which mainly seemed to just be elaborating on the ten though at large Gamzee felt they were easily understandable -the two adults started answering more questions. Gamzee tuned that out, frowning slightly as he read through the list again; it was a lot less tedious than he'd imagined and oddly enough they lined with with a lot he already thought. It certainly seemed to make sense that the Church managed to work the way it did with those ten central rules governing it. But it explained Gratia's anger at him before since he injured a fellow Church goer, but Gamzee would guess that unintentional harm- or at least non malicious harm -had more leeway, especially for initiates still learning.

They were led through the vast halls, being shown various pieces of art and statues. The majority were fixated towards the Church itself, including previous Priestormentors and Grand Highblood's. Gamzee was fascinated to see previous heads of Church who weren't actually him- or at least part of him -and was immensely interested to find out one of the previous Grand Highblood's shared Gratia's symbol. The statues of the deceased Church members had also been painstakingly painted with blood and Gamzee wondered how things would've turned out if this Alternian Kurloz had still been alive. He wondered if that meant he would've died on the beach that day. He was unsure if he was pleased or troubled by the thought.

He missed Jane.

One entire side of the museum was dedicated to the Subjugglators who'd been hatched with wings and they spent quite a lot of time there, with Eminor walking from each towering portrait and giving a brief rundown of the troll depicted. The wings from the deceased Subjugglator's were in sealed cases before the portraits complete with a small plaque that had their name written on them. Gamzee studied these walls with great interest- these walls seem to be skin stretched between the bone carved walls compared with the Tenant one -and found it fascinating the sheer variety in wing shape and colouration. From his Game experience all the wings seemed to be just various tints of bloodcolour, which weren't actually that exciting in hindsight but the wings shown on the walls were typically mainly hued in indigo but also had a variety of colours added them them in decorative patterns. The latest portrait was one which had a facsimile of eyes imprinted on the wings, complete with white spots like the reflection of light. They were immensely distracting and Gamzee had to put some effort in to avert his gaze from them to see the rest of the troll, whom was attired in a casual purple outfit and had short curly hair with branch-like horns. He carefully studied the picture before peering down at the sealed glass case holding the long dead troll's wings; they were nearly fourteen feet long apiece and even dead and detached they shimmered as if studded with microscopic diamonds. 

"Ah, he was our most recent and the last- died a few hundred sweeps ago," Abutor commented as he stepped up next to Gamzee as he gazed up at the picture, "A pity, for he was a sight to behold especially with those odd eyes on his lovely wings. Let us hope we get a Descendant soon from any one of these, hmm?"

The Doctorturer gave Gamzee a smile which he didn't really understand but he nonetheless grinned back at the old troll which seemed to please the adult. Gamzee just shrugged it off; these adults were all weird to him so it didn't really matter either way.

Another room housed a single object; a massive black pole carved from a strange kind of wood which shimmered as if glistening in oil. There was something strangely ominous about the wood and Gamzee squinted at it, trying to figure it out. Eminor stepped forward until she was standing before the large pole; despite being the tallest of the Priestormentors it still towered over her, so Gamzee guessed it was over sixteen feet tall more or less.

_Zis iz the Ztake,_ she signed, movements fluid and calm. Only a few of the young clowns understood her and even then some read her sign language wrong judging from their confused expressions.

Abutor stepped up to her side and gestured to the pole as well, "And this, little darlings, is the Stake." There was a dark, almost sinister, emphasis to that last word.

The other initiates peered at it carefully but like Gamzee they couldn't seem to pick up on the significance of the lone object. Even thought Gamzee still couldn't pick it up he got the odd impression many, many souls went through this thing. It reminded him of the the strange and holy jujus back in the Game; while he didn't know their prupose the majoirty of the time he knew there was something sinister and powerful about them. This one seemed to have taken many lives, however. He wondered what the Leijon's would've been able to pick up from it with their abilities. If they kept them.

"This is what anyone who betrays one of the tenants of the Church is killed by," Abutor interrupted Gamzee's reminiscing thoughts. He blinked, turning his attention to the small Doctorturer and watching him as he watched Eminor.

"When we die in service of the Church our bodies are given, in their all, back to it," Abutor explained. He walked up the slight rise the Stake was resting on and touched the black wood with a gentle caress more appropriate for a moirail or matesprit. He continued, "When we die, our skin, bone, organs, blood and horns are all used, so in a way we are part of the Church forever. If you die alone, the Valkyrie will be sent to bring you back home so you may be with us forever. However to those who break any one of the tenants they are given to the Stake and their bodies turned into ash. Why do you think that is, little ones?"

Gamzee thought back to the Doomed timelines, of seeing entire lands and hundreds of wayward souls being wiped clean from existence in the multicoloured breath of Lord English. Of how anyone- Godtier or not -were reduced to ash in scant seconds before even that vanished into nothing, leaving no mark or impression behind to prove they ever existed in the first place. Instead all the Lord left in his wake were massive lightning-bolt shaped cracks in reality itself. It had been a terribly awesome thing to witness and a part of Gamzee felt so utterly prideful of the feat his wiggler has accomplished.

"So you're nothing," Gamzee said aloud, voice almost wistful, "The fire makes you nothing; leaving nothing behind, so ain't anyone even know you again. Just fuckin' dust."

Both Eminor and Abutor smiled widely at that, with Abutor praising him aloud, "Yes, yes, precious one, that is exactly why! In being killed by fire in affront to the Church, you are no longer given a place with us. You are outcast, nothing, unworthy of memory or memorabilia. And that is why we give those who breaks one of the Ten Tenants to the Stake. Pray tell none of you find yourselves up there."

With that last slightly threatening message Eminor and Abutor turned on their heels and shepherded the small group from the room. Gamzee cast a mute glance over his shoulder at the ominous, blackened wood before it vanished from sight as they passed the corner.

Before he could think on the connection between the Stake, fire and Lord English's breath, he was distracted by the next area of the hall they arrived in; the hall showcasing those who were involved in the Signless's rebellion. Despite it all, Gamzee was profoundly curious, what with Kurloz having spied on the events as much as Aranea did back in the dreambubbles. Fascinating to see what the Dancestors could turn into, under the right circumstances.

They passed horns and skulls belonging to the first wave of the cult, slave collars and stricken signs and even a strange carving which looked like it had been torn from a rock surface. At the end wall was a numerous glass cases with assortment of clothing inside, the one within the center housing an ancient hood and cloak. Marring the fabric were bloodstains, too bright to be mistaken for rust even with the thousands of sweeps between the actual blood letting.

"And this, darlings, was taken from that vile little beast known as the Signless. However he became posthumously known as the Sufferer, because oh yes the Condesce had him _scream_ before he died," Abutor said, his sweet voice at odds with the viciousness of the sentence as he tapped a claw lightly on the glass case, expression full of vindictive satisfaction.

One of the initiates raised her hand, asking, "Why was he called the Signless?"

"Because he was hatched without a sign, dear. He was an error within the Mother Grub's clutch and rather than do her duty that stupid Jade took him out and raised him, as some kind of demented lusus," Abutor pointed at a strange set of robes, tinted in jade with a sheer veil hanging from the arms next to the case holding the SIgnless's ancient clothes, "Of course, the beloved Empress made sure that daft creature got a front row seat to the agony of the creature she 'saved' before she was rightly sold into slavery."

Walking past the case, Abutor continued, "Wouldn't it have been a kinder mercy if the Jade had simply killed the mutant when she found him in the spawning caves, darlings? That is one of the main functions for our caste- as Subjugglators we are the forefront of keeping the other castes within line and making sure they do their designated jobs. When they err in their judgment, we are there to correct them."

He rapped his knuckles on the case holding the deceased Jade's clothes, "And therefore this 'Dolorosa' is the main cause for all her misery and the billions of lowbloods who've died for the foolish beliefs of the mutant. She is responsible for refusing to do her Empress-given duty to protect the Mother Grub and weed out undesirables. She failed and instead took the mutant and raised it; it then formed that ridiculous rebellion and what was the end results? Nothing, simply failure. If she had instead killed it then and there she would've stopped all the misery- but she raised the creature and it started it's...preaching," the disgust in Abutor's voice all but dripped from the word, "And that alone stirred billions of lowbloods to rebel- and they all died. They continue to this day, with that foolish notion that they are somehow equal when they are so profoundly are not. If anything it was a cruelty that the Dolorosa and the Signless did, instilling these lies and delusions within the lower castes, which now cause many to die in masses for this misguided and utterly false belief."

"Are those who attacked us? Like those weirdos the other day," Gamzee said, "They all were calling him their Messiah or some shit when they had us in a cage before giving my sis a right whipping."

Abutor nodded, "Yes, those daft creatures worship that dead mutant as a...Messiah. Blasphemy to the extreme, obviously, thinking some disgusting mutant is any such a thing. Now, to the last member of their stupid little team-the Psiioniic, the yellowblood who accompanied the Signless and was within the creature's inner circle, still serves the Empire today," Abutor continued, voice becoming less terse, "He is the Helmsman for the Empress herself. Such an honour for a traitor."

"What about the Disciple?" Gamzee couldn't help but ask.

Abutor gave him an odd look but nonetheless answered him, "That one fled after her deluded leader died in great agony, stealing the pants of that _thing_ in the process. The misguided pity of the Royal Executioner at the time allowed her to escape," Abutor gave a loud disapproving sniff, "That idiotic blueblood was banished for eternity for his crimes- a sense of mercy I do disagree with. He should've died in agony for his absolute failure in my opinion but the Empress's word is law."

"So pretty much the stupidity of that four led to the billions- trillions even -of deaths from misguided rebellions. If the Jade had simply killed that creature in the spawning caverns it would've avoided this whole tragedy. But ala, these moronic creatures seem to believe they know better than us, hence their consistency in making these stupid-ass decisions. Oh well, their castes are the ones reaping what they sow and it's up to us to correct their mistake and hope that disease upon us in the form of the Sufferer and his mutation isn't inflicted on us again least it cause yet another cycle of vast harm."

"Um, this motherfucker is still confused about something," Gamzee said. The group all turned back to him and Abutor cocked his head to the side before motioning for him to continue with a smile, "Ah, what is even wrong with the vein juice of the Sufferer?"

A silence followed that and a few of the other initiates gave him baffled looks. Abutor eventually spoke, his voice gentle and without reproach, "It's because the mutant's blood was scarlet, darling. It was an unnatural colour- essentially a disease which needed to be purged from our race. See?" he gestured toward the case which held the Signless's robes, at the stains of discoloured crimson. Though they had faded from the age of the garments the dried blood was still too bright to be mistaken for rust.

"But that shit ain't rare, isn't something I never did see on Alternia," Gamzee said, "Like I totally knew a bro who all bled that shit." He'd certainly seen it staining the sandy beach after he'd bitten off Karkat's hand, dripping from Terezi's sword when he stabbed him repeatedly on a broken building and then flung him into boiling lava. Anyway, Gamzee also knew all the humans bled red so he didn't really understand why this Sufferer's blood colour was such an issue.

Abutor pushed past the other initiates, who all but threw herself to the side, and stopped in front of Gamzee, leaning down slightly when his hands on his thighs. The Doctorturer stared intently at him with his large indigo eyes for a long moment when Gamzee just gazed levelly back.

"Are you telling us, darling, you know someone who bled that colour?"

"Yeah?"

Eminor and Abutor exchanged unreadable looks before Abutor continued, "Are you _sure?_ I know many wigglers like to experiment with roleplaying as different castes, dearest. You have seen this one bleed? Personally?"

Gamzee was even more confused, moreso when everyone else continued to stare at him, "Yeah, like fuckin' stabbed the lil' shit and he all bleed out that hot crimson body juice and at another point I got all ornery and snapped off a hand and he all bleed on my lawnring along with crying ruby rivers at some points. Ain't mistaking that." Jane also bled on him when they got that thing off her head but Gamzee didn't add that. He didn't like remembering that part, in all honesty.

Abutor continued to stare at him with an unblinking gaze before Eminor stepped forward, a slight frown marring her face as she signed _Gamz, you totez zure about thiz?_

He was getting irritated, "I ain't blind, I know what I saw. Even killed him at one point but I fucked that up and it didn't even mean a mother fuck at the end of the day so I guess it was all getting it's irrelevance on. Still, his blood is blood and it always being red as red even when he is the Alpha or not or wearing that fuckin' sweater Porrim made 'em."

_What doez he look like?_

"Uh, kinda small I guess? Like real smaller than any other troll I gotten my sight on," Gamzee said, bemused by their antics, "And lil' nubby horns that ain't doing shit and all round and soft even for a troll with blunt to fuck teeth."

_Doez he have a zign of any kind?_

Gamzee thought about that before carefully holding his hands up, curling his fingers in while sticking out his thumbs in a curve then holding them against his chest in a poor mimic of Karkat's symbol.

Both Eminor's and Abutor's eyes widened at that and an absolutely gleeful smile crossed the Doctorturer's face. Eminor meanwhile looked deeply troubled and asked _Do you have a memory of him that I can zee?_

He nodded, still not really sure why they were so interested before he focused on a memory, pulling up the moment when he bit Karkat's hand off at the beach. He felt fairly embarrassed going over it again due to his fairly violent overreaction but he kept the image firmly in his head, with Karkat reeling backwards holding the stump of his left hand even as it spat out thick streams of crimson. Gamzee''s face settled into a grimace as he held it in place even as he felt the familiar bubbling warmth of chucklevoodoo's seep into his mind as Eminor made mental contact with him. True to her intent, all the Priestormentor did was carefully scan the image he held in his mind, making no attempt to dig further within his thinkpan. After a few moments she carefully retracted her psychics from his mind.

Huffing out his breath, Gamzee banished the grisly image away and looked up at the two adults; Eminor's face was intensely disturbed while Abutor's held radiant delight. The rest of the initiates looked as confused as Gamzee felt, a few glancing between him and the Sufferer's ancient cloak with bemusement over the supposed connection he had with it.

"Alright- well darlings this was rather the end of the museum tour away," Abutor abruptly announced, clapping his hands loudly together, "Now off you go back to the entrance. What the little sweetling here has shown proves a massive upheaval and a boon to rooting out those rebels and the wonderful Empress must be alerted at once! So off you go, wigglers." 

Confused- and feeling more than a bit uneasy -Gamzee absentmindedly followed the group as Eminor guided them through the halls while Abutor reminded behind while he took out a small communication device and began to excitedly talk into it. When they reached the entrance and Eminor went to turn away, presumably to go get Abutor, Gamzee clacked his teeth and drew the adult's attention back, feeling anxiety pool around in his thinkpan.

_What was all that about? Did I fuck up?_ he couldn't help but ask, stiffly moving his hands.

_Don't you worry,_ Eminor simply signed back at him, while giving him a reassuring- if not slightly troubled -smile, _It'll be dealt with zoon enough and you ain't in trouble. Juzt get your butt outta here and don't worry, okay? You need not concern ya zelf._

Swallowing down his questions Gamzee nodded and quietly turned away, following the other initiates up the ramp to the waiting ship. He had a feeling this wouldn't be the last he heard about this.

* * *

After that trip Gamzee immediately left for his room, shoving away Hestia when she tried to waylay him on his way there. She cursed after him but he ignored it as he entered his room, wishing faintly that he could slam the door shut to try and alleviate some of his frustration. The Rage building up in his gut made him want to tear and rip up something and his insides felt as if they were beginning to boil while his skin was suddenly too tight, too hot. It was such a rampant change from his typical highblood cold that it was making him nauseous.

With a groan of pain he crawled into his pile, burrowing down among the assortment of empty bottles, clothing and baking utensils wherein he fell into an angry sleep filled with dreams of the Game and all the bloodiness that entailed.

He wasn't too sure how much time passed, shifting and grumbling from his shallow and immensely unsatisfying sleep until a hand gently tugged on the top half of his horn, one of the few parts of him protruding from the pile.

Annoyed, Gamzee opened his eyes to thin slits and growled out an irritable, "What?"

Gratia settled down next him in one graceful movement, face shifted into an expression of concern, "Are you alright?"

"Eh?" if Gamzee had been more socially aware he would've been fairly taken aback by Gratia's forwardness; a strange troll inviting themselves into the pile of another who they weren't even in quadrants with and offering comfort. However he lacked such awareness so he simply gave the adult a dull look, still half submerged in the pile.

Gratia exhaled slowly, buck fangs digging into their plump lower lip, "Eminor told me of what occurred while at the museum, of the crimsonblood you are friends with. Whom you knew through wigglerhood."

"So?" Gamzee didn't really want to talk about it.

"You were..." Gratia paused again, eyes sliding shut for a long moment before they straightened, "You were distressed, obviously. I...he was a friend, was he not?"

"Karkat? I uh, I guess but like in all of that there hindsight it's kinda obvious he didn't like me at all. Probably never did."

"I don't care about him, I care about you," Gratia said, "You considered him a friend- it would be obvious to assume you'll be upset over this."

Gamzee just shrugged and Gratia sighed. Instinctively he tensed when Gratia moved closer to him but instead all the adult did was hook an arm around his shoulders and pull him up against their side. Gamzee blinked, caught completely off guard by the fact Gratia was _hugging_ him. The last people to hug him had been Aradia, Jane and Calliope. Calliope when she'd been a tiny wiggler so it had been vastly different but he remembered the hugs the two Maids bestowed upon him. Without thinking too hard he leaned into Gratia's broad side, blinking back tears.

"I dunno why I'm even fucking upset," Gamzee said, voice muffled against Gratia's chest, "Didn't even fuckin' like him."

Gratia simply shooshed him, hands smoothing down his hair and rubbing at his back. Unlike the Condesce's insidious touch, the Gratia's comfort was soothing, genuine. Not leaving his skin feeling odd, sticky almost.

"You were never friends?" Gratia's voice was comforting as well, the slow slurred words becoming slowly familiar.

"I...." Gamzee shifted, pressing his face harder against the adult's sternum, hearing the steady beat of the old troll's blood pusher. They smelled like wet earth, paint and flowers and the two long threads of hair that hung past their shoulders brushed against his horns.

"I guess, I did...but then I got all older and realized he never even liked me, guess I just ignored all that motherfuckin' rude-ass shit he noised at me all the time? I didn't notice lots of things. I...thinkpan all confused and shit. Ate too much sopor." 

Gratia's patting faltered, "Sopor? You...ate it?"

"Yeah um, I cooked it in pies and ate it after takin' it outta my 'coon."

"Did your lusus not teach you such things? About eating that?"

The Bard's face twisted up, "My lusus ain't ever give a shit. Never there, mostly. Then fucked off and showed up dead one day so I never got learned."

"I see...Abutor did sense some oddly deep neurological scarring within your mind which didn't fit your age. Your...sopor eating could be the cause of that."

"You lot gossip about me?" Gamzee grumbled. He wasn't particularly annoyed. People seemed to like talking about him for some reason.

"We speak about all of the new initiates- keeping each other aware of any potential problems or situations mean we can help far more quickly."

"Oh..." Gamzee didn't know how to respond. Concern was still something he was exactly familiar with. Jane had lavished it freely upon him and he could remember all the times she'd bake food especially for him over concern from his weight. He paused, thinking carefully while running through all the information he was from Gratia's actions. The Priestormentor was very nice, Gamzee could admit, and compared with the other three adults who seemed to have a large part in dealing with the initiates- Occhio, Eminor and Abutor -Gamzee could admit he liked Gratia the most out of them even after the other telling off he got from them the other day. The Priestormentor was considerate, comforting and seemed to have genuine concern for his well being.

If he'd been in a more logical state of mind or had friends who'd bothered to help explain the particulars of various aspects of relationships to him, he might have been aware of something called a 'rebound' but as it was he did not. So when Gratia pulled Gamzee back up and carefully settled the Bard back on the pile he reached up and touched the Priestormentor's checkbone, thumb brushing against the white paint. As Gratia gave him an inquisitive look, he leaned forward and attempted to kiss them.

Gratia gently pushed him away, turning their face to the side to avoid his kiss but at the same time patting him on the head in an odd juxtaposition with the rejection.

"Now, sleep. Let those not trouble you- we shall deal with it and if you ever need any aid, speak to one of us and it shall be freely given," with a final pat on his head the Priestormentor rose and left, giving him one last unreadable look before disappearing.

Gamzee was genuinely confused; did he do it wrong? He wasn't sure how to approach someone with quadrant intentions as he'd never been the one to initiate such things. It had always been the _other_ person who initiated things, like Mituna, Karkat, Meulin or Jane. He couldn't remember being on the other side and wasn't sure if he'd done it correctly, so with a huff Gamzee curled up back in the pile, sleepiness tugging at him again. Maybe he'd ask Hestia for advice later.

* * *

"Did you say as much? Like...uh, askin' them?"

"Well, not really but what else could they be? Like...you don't do that shit without wanting a quadrant, right?"

"Huh. They came into your pile, right? And snuggled you? I mean...that's kinda flush ain't it? It seems damn flush to me."

"I dunno...I mean, we've only been here like a few months so maybe I read it wrong?"

"Yeah well you already bit that fuck who wanted pitch, so I dunno."

"I fuckin' hate pitch, that's why. Ain't talking about that anyway."

Hestia made a contemplative noise from where she was sprawled on the couch. Gamzee had wandered down to her room- which was only six doors down from his own -and she'd begrudgingly allowed him inside. While he hadn't know Hestia for long he knew she greatly valued gossip and being 'in the know' and she'd also let him into his room without too much of a fuss. He might've gone to Koiboi but he had no idea where the shy troll was. So he'd basically barged into Hestia's room and she let him in. Now he was currently sitting on a chair and complaining to her while she begrudgingly listened.

She frowned, crossing her legs; considering the hour she'd clearly been dressed for lesiure, wearing only thigh-high socks and purple underpants with her hair a complete mess and her facepaint was flaking. She absentmindedly scratched at it before saying, "Okay, so what'd you do? Just reached up for'a smooch?"

"Well yeah....but that else they want? 'Cause like...whole Church is diamonds with each other, ya know? So I guess them doin' that is wanting another quadrant. Them nice as fuck so I don't mind it much."

"I dunno, maybe they just decided to entertain ya and being all 'look at this dumbfuck ain't knowing to do'," she retorted nastily.

"Oi, stop being a motherfuckin' bitch," Gamzee scowled.

Hestia glared back before falling on her back on the couch with a huff, "Yeah yeah, get enough of that shit from them Priests getting a snark at me, though I dunno why they wanna fuckin' hold hands and act as if everything is some shithive diamond."

"I ain't minding that," Gamzee countered, "Maybe I like not worryin' constantly about people wanting to stick a knife in my back."

Hestia scoffed but he could tell by the look on her face before she turned away that she was troubled and it was easy to pick up the sudden spike of longing that flared within her mind; despite her dismissal Gamzee knew she wanted the security the Church was luring them with, even if a paranoid part of her was unable to accept that the offer was genuine at the moment. She'd probably grow to accept it but as of now she was too cautious. He could even see the lingering sensation of doubt directed towards him mixed with an odd inclination towards friendship but it was immensely mild compared to the distrust she still held towards the adults and even other trolls her age.

"Look," Hestia gave him a frank look, "I ain't that good with flush, like my best shit was my diamond and she...isn't here," pain in her voice as well as her mind but before Gamzee could ask she continued, "But...shit, I dunno, these adults act all weird, ya know? Not normal shit so maybe Ananke is getting flush with you but like...won't do anythin' 'till we go through our adult molts? Prob split you in half if they don't. Dunno if the needle man could fix that shit."

She most likely hadn't meant it to be funny but Gamzee laughed so hard he fell off the chair.

* * *

BuxomIntoxication [BI] has begun trolling  TeutatesCapra [TC]  
  
BI: HellO?  
TC: what the mother fuck up?  
BI: Ah. Is thIs Gamzee?  
TC: well i hope so all this shit is gonna get all kinds of awkard cause im in his room  
TC: since im sitting in my room doing some usual shit that aint all exciting  
TC: drinking all this hissing elixir and in my relaxations :o)   
BI: Oh.  
BI: GOOd.  
BI: I dIdn't want tO brOach. BrOach thIs Issue wIth the wrOng persOn.  
TC: okay?  
TC: but whatever who even are you? aint mad cause im just getting my stare on at the wall thinking about shit that needs to be thinked about  
TC: but yeah knowing who im making noise at would be alright  
TC: unless youre new and thats totally fuckin fine as well   
BI: Oh apOlOgIes. It's me. kOIbOI.  
TC: right okay that helps a brother figure shit out  
TC: something bothering you?  
BI: A bIt. I suppOse.  
BI: I ah.  
BI: Actually I wanted tO request sOmethIng frOm yOu.  
TC: everything i had is shit you can get on here anyway  
TC: BUT I CAN TOTALLY BE TOLD TO SPARE IT FOR A BRO WHOSE HUNGRY FOR ONE OF THEM  
TC: what do you want to borrow :o?  
BI: Oh nO nO nO. I dOn't want tO bOrrOw anythIng. I want tO ask yOu sOmethIng. A favOur. Maybe? I'm unsure hOw tO phrase It. I'm sorry.  
TC: it aint no bothering me.  
TC: TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME CAUSE I'VE GOT A LOT SPARE  
BI: Thank yOu.  
BI: I've been cOntemplatIng thIs Over a lOt lately. And I belIeve yOu're the mOst cOnsIstent One fOr me tO apprOach abOut thIs. YOu've treated me kIndly sInce I've fIrst came here. Even when yOu had nO reasOn tO. LIkewIse yOu've defendIng me frOm any dIsparaging cOmments frOm a varIety of trOllkind On here. And yet yOu've asked fOr nOthIng In return. And whIle I shOuldn't really be burdenIng yOu further. I belIeve you may acquIesce tO my request.  
TC: uh  
BI: Of cOurse you can stIll declIne If yOu wIsh. I sImply want tO ask at fIrst because I feel yOu wIll nOt judge me.  
TC: the fuck you do? :oO  
TC: IS THIS SOME SERIOUS SHIT YOU'VE GOTTEN A TANGLE ONE? BECAUSE THE PRIESTS HERE ARE PRETTY CHILL WITH THAT SHIT, THEY WOULD HELP WITHOUT GIVING A REAL FUCK  
TC: if theres one thing i learned these adults clown are all kinds of relaxed over shit that usually makes trolls all kinds of mind twister  
BI: NO. NO. It's nOthIng lIke that. Ugh. I am makIng a mess Of thIs.  
TC: just ask a motherfucker then most i can say is no :o?  
BI: Okay.  
BI: WIll yOu rOleplay wIth me?  
BI: And can the maIn sItuatIOn be vOre?   
TC: wait is that what all that toperope tripping shit was getting all on about?  
TC: aint that big of a deal bro  
TC: why you getting the nervousness for?  
BI: I dOn't knOw.  
BI: SOme peOple get jIttery abOut It. I guess FLARP stIll keeps It's rIdged expectatIons upon them. HOwever I dOn't partIcIpate In such thIngs. TOO much pOtential fOr vIOlence agaInst fellOw players. WhIch I feel defeats the purpOse Of the camaraderIe tO begIn wIth. Same wIth the tOpIc.  
TC: PREACHING TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN CHIOR CLOWNBRO  
TC: SAW THAT TENACIOUS SHIT TURN ALL KINDS OF HORRORTERROR FUCKUGLY BACK ON ALTERNIA  
TC: BURNT GANDER BULBS LOST LIMBS AND BROKEN FUCKIN SPINAL COLUMNS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER COULDNT BELIEVE  
BI: Well that Is sOmethIng I have nO IntentIOn Of beIng invOlved In. Instead It wOuld just be a log rOleplay.   
TC: oh yeah a bro can do this for a bro  
TC: got time to spend so lets fuckin roll  
BI: Okay.  
BI: :o)  
BI: Thank yOu.  
BI: DO yOu prefer scrIpt or paragraph?  
TC: what?  
BI: ...  
BI: Have you rOleplayed befOre?  
TC: i dunno maybe?  
TC: i have a pretty shit memory at times so i couldve but my thinkpan is a shit  
TC: before we fucked off and died in that game anyway hahahahonkhaha  
TC: but yeah can just give it a go and see how we do so just explain to a brother and we can start this shit  
BI: AlrIght. BasIcally scrIpt chat Is when yOu speak-  
BI: *hOlding up a needle* here, we can gO dO thIs *descrIbes further actIOn.*  
BI: Whereas paragraph style means-  
BI: "Here, we can gO dO thIs" he saId whIle hOlding up hIs needle befOre turnIng and dOIng Other thIngs.  
TC: oh okay that makes some sense i fuckin guess?  
BI: SO yOu wOuld be stIll agreeable tO rOleplayIng?  
TC: sure why the fucking mother not?  
BI: Okay.  
BI: SO scrIpt Or paragraph style?  
TC: uh paragraph  
BI: Okay! :o)  
BI: I'll start by tellIng yOu whO/what my character Is-  
BI: (My character Is a purpleblOOd PrIest called HemOsa whO has hOrns lIke me. He's tall and uses scythe and needle kInd as a strIfedeck. He's gOt facepaint In the shape Of flOwers, wears pretty dresses cOvered In expensIve jewels and gOld, and the lOcation Is In a dark cave On a deserted Island. They were attacked by rebels and are very, very hungry and Injured.)   
TC: oh uh okay  
TC: gimme a sec to get my character all ready  
BI: :o)  
TC: (uh my character is a female troll called um kurane and she's got horns that're like a spoon and a fork cause they opposite and she likes baking shit real good)  
TC: (has facepaint like a mine with stitched lips but she can still talk yea so only painted stitches if that makes any kinda motherfuckin sense bro)   
TC: (also kind short but totally nice to get a hug on with)  
TC: (strifedeck is spoon/fork kind like she can just switch em up whenever cause spoon goes fork when she wanna)   
TC: (also she prob hungry too cause who the fuck aint)  
TC: she good?  
BI: (She sOunds wOnderful! Are yOu ready?)  
TC: yup lets roll bro   
BI: :o)  
BI: HemOsa sat dOwn near the lIp Of the cave. EverythIng hurt and blOOd was cOatIng hIs dress, alOng wIth numerOus rIps and tears. But even wOrse was the hunger gnawIng at hIs belly. He rubbed at hIs arms, smell Of blOOd thick In hIs snIffnOde and he barred blOOdIed teeth.  
TC: kurane gave her brother a look, not knowing what up his thoughts were doing in that thinkpan so she said, 'you gettin all figty there bro? whats gotten its wrong on with you'   
BI: HemOsa had almOst forgOtten abOut the Other trOll In the cave wIth hIm, "Oh, are yOu alrIght? I'm sOrry, I dIdn't mean tO bOther yOu. I'm just sO hungry, I can hardly even notIce my wOunds."  
TC: aw thats some shit   
TC: wait i fucked up   
BI: (It's Okay)  
TC: lemme try again   
TC: 'aw thats some shit' kurane said, all mirth gone right outta her noise, 'i aint got real food tho cause like them rebl motherfuckers got us good'   
BI: HemOsa nOdded, "I understand. But at thIs rate I dOn't thInk bOth Of us can survIve. At least, nOt pull thrOugh whOle. I have a plan, but I dOn't knOw If you'll lIke It."  
TC: 'hey if you got a plan lay it on this motherfuckin bitchsis who aint got a clue,' she said 'so gimme what you got'   
BI: "I'm glad yOu trust me sO," HemOsa said, genuInely tOuched by the trust hIs fellow church-gOer was OfferIng. Keeping that in mind he gOt up and apprOached Kurane, the troll-sIlk dress nearly catching On sOme rOcks On the grOund, "But I speak true when I belIeve that In Order tO survIve we must eat and we have nO fOOd On us besIdes..." HemOsa traIled Off, suddenly nervOus.   
TC: kurane just nodded cause she aint got beef with her bro, 'yo just lay it on me, this ass got the understanding going'   
BI: HemOsa sat down next tO his fellOw church gOer, reachIng Out tO take her hand, "Thank yOu. I mean tO say that whIle we dO nOt have fOOd, we stIll may feed."   
TC: kurane let that hand be take   
TC: be toke   
TC: taken??   
TC: what motherfuck is it   
BI: (Any Of the three Is fIne)  
TC: got it   
TC: anyway this fine clown sis let that hand be token/take/toke/whatthefuckever and said 'yo bro lay it on me cause i aint wanna die since that sounds like some shit yeah'   
BI: HemOsa kept hIs mOvements slOw, wantIng tO stress tO hIs sIster, "I mean tO say, we may feed frOm One anOther."  
TC: 'oh shit' kurane said 'u gonna be gettin that rainbow drinker blood glow shit on at me'   
BI: "Oh nO, I dO nOt mean RaInbOw DrInkers," HemOsa hastened tO assure hIs sIster, "I mean instead we cOuld eat the flesh frOm One anOther- tO feed Ourselves untIl help arrIves."  
TC: uh   
BI: (Am I GOdmOddIng? DO yOu want tO take the lead?)  
TC: (nah nah give this brother a bit im just think some shit)   
BI: Okay. :o)   
TC: alright lemme   
TC: kurane is totally down cause she aint gonna let a brother down, 'alright u wanna start cause i aint knowing where to get my munch on'   
TC: only like   
TC: shit i mean 'uh this here sis only know how to rip a motherfuckers head off but not getting a teeth in them here and i aint wanna get my dead on bro'   
BI: "DO nOt wOrry," HemOsa assured her, "It wIll nOt be a death blOw."  
TC: (thats good   
TC: (AINT WANNA SEE PRECIOUS CLOWN SIS DEAD)   
BI: (DOn't wOrry, she wOn't dIe.)   
TC: okay then go ahead bro  
BI: :o)  
BI: HemOsa carefully shIfted dOwn Kurane's shIrt tO bare her cOllarbOne and the meat Of her shOulder.  
TC: kurane totally let a bro do that cause she trusted him and shit   
BI: WIth gentle mOvements he bent dOwn untIl hIs mOuth was Only a few Inches frOm the bared flesh. It lOOked tasty, full of lIfe and wIth blOOd runnIng underneath the skIn. There would alsO be bOnes and tendOns, all the typIcal structure Of a trOll's bOdy but all the mOre entIcIng fOr It.   
TC: kurane still sat there all still and shit cause she aint gonna be shoving that bro away cause she knew what was up and was like 'sure sounds good'   
BI: WIth that cOncent In mInd he leaned dOwn and sank hIs lOng teeth IntO the expOsed flesh.  
BI: *cOnsent   
BI: BlOOd spIlled from the wound, thIck and purple. It tasted gOOd and HemOsa bIt deeper, feelIng the rigidness of bones and the reluctant gIve Of the muscles.  
BI: The blOOd OOOzed intO hIs mOuth and sOme spIlled past hIs lIps and staInIng Kurane's shOulder and seeping IntO the cOllar Of her shIrt. WIth slOw mOvements HemOsa pulled back, flesh and skIn danglIng frOm hIs teeth. He swallOwed befOre leanIng back dOwn and bItIng Into the tOrn flesh agaIn.  
TC: um   
TC: pain was all firey and shit like oozing out like some burning hot fuck lava but she aint let him catch those hands since she said yeah to that shit and she aint gonna let a bro think she isnt a trustworthy motherfucker   
BI: WIth that In mInd, HemOsa bIt dOwn harder, but nOt hard enOugh tO break bOne. WIth a wet nOIse he tOre away a part of Kurane's shOulder, flesh and skin danglIng frOm hIs mOuth yet agaIn as he leaned back. SlOwly he chewed, the thIck muscle rOllIng agaInst hIs teeth and slIdIng agaInst hIs tOngue as blOOd staIned hIs lIps and teeth thIckly.  
TC: kurane was totally ignorin that shit of pain cause that aint much she all wasnt used to   
TC: she hm   
TC: uh   
TC: she was hungry as well so she figured 'why dont i eat somethin' since hemosa was gettin his chomp on her shoulder   
TC: so with that rattling about in her thinkpan she decided to bite her own tongue right off and give it a munch  
BI: :oO   
TC: (did i fuck up bro)   
BI: NO nO nO, gO On.  
TC: okay   
TC: anyway shes still hungry as fuck so she bites that motherfuckin tongue right off   
TC: blood choking that protein chute and nearly making her vom cause its spitting everywhere and she gotta keep those teeth clenched   
TC: dont really matter none though cause blood just oozed through them fangs and was going all over her front and staining like a motherfucker   
TC: and that tongue was thick and rolling about in that mouth with just a lil stub left from where it was all bitten  
TC: but anyway gotta get that feed on so started chewing on that tongue which was all tough as fuck and aint wanna be chewed   
TC: blood was fucking all over the place and like was trying to make noise but instead there was some fucked up gurgling cause choking on blood and shit while eating that tongue was some tough buisness   
TC: but gotta do it   
TC: so just had to swallow down that tongue and some of that blood which nearly made me hurl but aint gonna do that   
TC: blood was a right pain in the ass though since it was fuckin everywhere and all over the front and chokin everything since who the motherfuck knew tongues bled that much when you bit and ate em   
TC: after eatin that tongue down i got my paws on some thread and needles cause gotta shut myself up right up after gettin my silence on proper   
TC: so got that thread through that needle punctured them bloodied lips of mine and sewed those lips up   
TC: not too tight tho gotta eat but enough i aint gonna be eatin any grubloafs whole after wards   
TC: so by the time im done everything is a fuckin mess and that stump left of my tongue is still oozing fuckin everywhere but whatever   
TC: gonna have to wash that shirt tho   
BI: ...  
BI: Oh wOw.   
TC: aw fuck   
TC: i messed up the character didnt i?   
BI: Oh nO! That was amazIng!  
BI: Are yOu sure yOu haven't rOleplayed In a whIle? Because that was Oddly specIfIc!  
TC: no i uh   
TC: just remembered some weird tongue shit that happened   
TC: so just kinda went with it   
BI: Well It was great!  
TC: so uh we all good?   
BI: Yes!  
BI: But It's gettIng late sO we shOuld get tO cOOn, sInce I'm sure we wIll have mOre lessOns.  
TC: i guess  
TC: yeah  
BI: :o)  
BI: Anyway, thank you f0r the l0vely r0leplay!  
BI: Bye! :o)

  
  
BuxomIntoxication [BI] has added  TeutatesCapra [TC] to their friend list!  
  
  
BuxomIntoxication [BI] has stopped trolling  TeutatesCapra [TC]  


* * *

Their lesson the next day was with Karell again which Gamzee was relieved for. Gamzee still didn't know what to think about the silkworks and Jane hadn't spoken to him since. He seemed to be seeing her less, but he guess it was just due to the fact he was so busy and as if to prove that the lesson Karrel had for them was interesting- non-purple caste Subjugglators. They'd had the lesson before, but it seems the Priest's were intent on stressing that particular one hence it being repeated. Gamzee didn't mind, as he found it fascinating all the same.

"I know that may be a shock," Karell said, "And while all purplebloods are Subjugglators, not all Subjugglators are purplebloods. There are few- very few -who're not of our caste who have enough faith to join our Church. They go through long initiations, eight sweeps while ours are fours, but that is to prove their faith. And if it is true, then they may join us as true brothers and sisters and siblings."

That caused quite a bit of confusion among the group and one troll asked, "But how they do that?" 

"Well first thing first- if an off caste troll asks of our faith it is your _duty_ to educate them. You cannot simply spurn them or send them away with harsh words or blows. You have a duty you must abide for. Not of the true tenants and things we do not share with outsiders, but enough that is known. If they are still curious, then send them to one of us- a Priestormentor. Then if they remain true they will be led to the eldest of our faith who will test their knowledge and assess if their faith is genuine. If it is, then their initiation begins."

"Do we have many bros and sis and sibs who ain't of our vein juice?" Gamzee asked.

Karell smiled, "A few- obviously lowbloods such as rusts and yellows are far more rare, since they die so quickly. But we have some fairly prominent members such as Lovett Eureka and Exclan Tronks who you may be familiar with. They have different facepaints to us- while as adults we have white and gaps for our skin, they wear solid grey and white marks to signal their status as an outsider who've been accepted into our ranks. Speaking of facepaint, have you little ones given thought as to the designs you'll pick once you've passed initiation? Some are restricted for jobs or rank, like the Authority or Doctorturers and yarda yard. Here are a few paint designs..."

Gamzee retreated into himself, thinking intently; if Jane had lived, would she had been allowed with the Church? He knew she was an alien but she loved Calliope just like he did. But he didn't know how human faith worked or if they even had one.

He tried to summon Jane but for some reason she refused to answer so he gave up after a few minutes.

* * *

Later that night Gamzee was sitting on the floor in his living room, watching a movie. It was a strange one with such a convoluted plot surrounding psychics, hallucinations and various dimensions that he could hardly follow, but the noise effects and music was good enough they were sufficiently ensnaring him and he was blandly following along.

Despite that, the banging at his door was loud enough it dragged his attention away with a frown; it wasn't Gratia, who at this point had been the only one to visit his room. The Priestormentor however had a fairly mild knocking technical, not this smashing of fist on the doorway like they were trying to punch through it. At the persistent noise Gamzee gave a grunt and stood up, shaking off the tingling in his limbs as he ambled to the door and opened it, seeing an irritated Hestia on the other side.

"Uh, you want somethin', sis?" he asked after a brief pause. Hestia looked fairly terrible, with her clothes torn like she'd been scratching at them and her facepaint was flaking. The yellow of her remaining eye was heavily bloodyshot, as if she'd been crying.

For a moment Hestia looked like she regretted ever coming to his door, but Gamzee didn't turn her away. Instead he mutely gestured for her to come inside and she accepted it without hesitation. to his surprise she immediately made a beeline for his pile and flung herself into in, face down and unresponsive. Gamzee stared at her before going back to the floor. Great, now he had no idea what was going on in the movie. He preferred the humans one he'd watched with Jane.

Hestia started mumbling behind him and he ignored her until a small hand brushed against his back. He glanced across his shoulder and could see Hestia's eye peeking at him through a wild nest of hair and without hesitation he clambered onto the pile, dragging her up into his lap and hugging her; she was built all wrong and felt nothing like Jane but he couldn't help but think of the Maid. Hestia was bony and sharp angles, lean muscle and tough skin while Jane had been soft, warm.

Gamzee was a bit surprised at Hestia suddenly coming to him with pale intentions- or at least he gathered it was pale -when she'd been typically cold or hostile towards him but her emotions were surging so violently he could easily pick it up even with his passive psychics, a maelstrom of anger and grief that made his tongue feel numb.

He rubbed the curve of her horns, finally saying, "Ain't no point keepin' that shit bottled up, what's gnawing at that thinkpan clown sis?"

Her nails briefly bit into the skin of his forearms but he didn't even flinch as she said, "You remember that shit Karell said earlier, like? That fuckin' crap about off-caste clowns?"

"They got the faith, so what?"

"But...but I fuckin' hate this! Learning about the Church and finding out that non-purples can join us!"

Gamzee made a face, "What, you ain't thinking they worthy?"

Her faced twisted into an ugly expression of despair, "No, it ain't that. It's more like knowing they could be one of us- and it made me think, made me think of my moirail."

That caught his attention and he frowned down at her, noting how she'd bitten her bottom lip so hard it was bleeding, "Didn't know you have a diamond."

"Had. That piece of shit fish killed her," Hestia spat out, "Fucking stupid violentblooded asshole motherfucks! Scum, the whole lot of them- I wish I could fucking kill them all. Instead I killed him, my piece of shit kismesis who murdered my moriail as a jab to me. Fucker!"

Gamzee blinked; her diamond had been killed by her spade? He didn't really know much about troll quadrants but he knew crossing over them like that wasn't exactly looked down upon approvingly. Murdering someones quadrants to incite pitch feelings seemed like the level of stupidity Vriska would lower herself to but clearly that wasn't the norm considering Hestia's reaction. He hummed, stroking her horn as Hestia started ranting angrily.

"I remember when I cam back and found her dead- fucking head cut off and in my hive! I knew, I fuckin' _knew_ who'd done it the moment I saw it. Never get in a quadrant with a fish, they're fuckin' vile and disgustin' and fuck the whole lot of them may they drown in oil. But I found him, I tracked him down and made him pay. By the Messiahs I made him pay an' I only regret I didn't draw it out even longer. He got my eye, though," she pointed to her left, with the ever present cobalt jewel lodged in the scarred socket.

"So you go revenge? Ain't she be pleased you did that?" Gamzee asked.

Hestia shook her head violently, saying, "That ain't the point! This shit of off-caste clownies...She'd listen! Whenever I got all preachy at her and shit, she'd sit the fuck down and _listen_ you know? Not like other heathens, who are too dumbfuck to understand anythin'."

Hestia started crying then, purple tears welling up in her eyes, "And now I know, if she'd just lived, if that piece of motherfucking shit hadn't of murdered her, she could've come with me, she could've been with me but instead she died! He fucking took her away from me, and now I know she could've stayed with me forever if she'd just lived!"

The anguish in her voice made him flinchnand he hugged her close. He knew what it felt like to loose a quadrant and he didn't wish it on someone else- and whatever Hestia thought of him he considered her a friend.

"I'm sorry," Hestia sobbed into his chest, "I shouldn't be bawlin' like a fucking loser about it still, I'm not supposed-"

"Oi, you shut that ass right up," Gamzee said, his harsh words tempered by him hugging her closer, "Ain't no time limit on grief, sister. If you gonna forget your tears after this, then good. But you gonna hold onto them up until the Messiahs call for you? Then that's good as well- ain't no one allowed to tell you when you gotta stop mourning those you love, ain't anyone allowed and if someone says that shit you tell them to fuck right off."

She laughed, watery and snorty but nonetheless snuggled closer to him, the smooth upper part of her horn pressing up against the underside of his jaw and he looped his arms around her narrow waist. They fell sleep like that, Hestia leaving tear stains on his shirt and Gamzee drooling into her hair.

The next day Hestia made no mention of the whole incident but she became noticably less cranky and more friendly towards him. Gamzee was grateful for that- he wouldn't mind a new friend.

* * *

The next few months seemed to be further lessons on what they were already being taught- mostly about cooperation and general fighting and skills and despite himself Gamzee slowly started to recover from his near-death experience on Alternia. Most of the fighting was still theory and general sparring, as they needed to wait for their adult molts before they fully started to gain their full fighting potential but Gamzee wasn't too worried. He still found the Church fairly surreal in all honesty.

Koiboi had also noticeably become more friendly towards him, willing to broach topics and actually speak with him. Gamzee guessed that strange roleplay had something to do with it and a part of him felt a bit on edge for recounting Kurloz's tongue-eating incident to a stranger but Koiboi didn't seem to realize Gamzee had been recounting actual events. At least Koiboi was reserved, so Gamzee didn't feel oddly pressured to fill in every silence with conversation like he did with Hestia.

Gamzee did start to encourage a friendship between Hestia and Koiboi- the aggressiveness Hestia displayed was slowly getting turned around to be pointed towards everyone not a clown and Gamzee was of the opinion having someone so blatantly confident and vivacious like Hestia would be good for Koiboi's shyness. Also due to the Priest's insistant of zero fighting within the Church, Gamzee knew they'd put a stop to any kind of violence so he needn't worry about the situation spiraling into a disturbing Tavros/Vriska parallel, even if some of Hestia's actions reminded him uncomfortably of the cobaltblood at times. However she was _trying_ to alter her hostile and aggressive behaviour, and that was far more than any of the Serket's had ever done so he tried not to interfere too much. Even then, he didn't know how the Church dealt with auspices, since the clowns at a whole was encourage to treat each other pale. Could clowns even _have_ pitch or ashen relationships with other Subjugglators? If they were initiates and unfamiliar with the rules, potentially. But when they passed? Gamzee was unsure and after some consideration didn't bother asking about it. He didn't like pitch at all.

On the whole it was busy and time began to fly past. Jane occasionally kept him company and though he missed her dearly he'd slowly been pulled from the suicidal state he'd been from the start, mostly due to everything snagging his attention so much he barely had time to brood. It didn't alter much of his acceptance of it, however but at least his habit of speaking to her hadn't made him stand out too much. Many other initiates had issues and Gamzee found himself being yanked into Abutor's room of sightless eyes to talk to the Doctorturer about seemingly non-consequential things.

At first Gamzee completely ignored the adult, just sitting in the comfortable bean-chairs and dozing while Abutor chattered to him. The Doctorturer did have some extremely delicious drink that he always served, which the adult said was 'seadweller fin tea'. Gamzee wasn't sure but it tasted great and he would easily drink it down regardless of how many times Abutor filled his cup back up. But still, despite Abutor's constant friendliness Gamzee always felt a strange sense of unease around the troll. There was just _something_ that made his hackles rise around the adult and he could never fully let his guard down around him. Gamzee still didn't know what was wrong and he was deeply tempted to try digging through the adult's mind with his own psychics but he was wary of the old trolls, of the ones who had the highest chance of catching him rootling around in their thinkpans so he refrained himself.

Speaking of chucklevoodoos, they'd started the classes with Occhio Mutare, the blind Priestormentor. The one who'd nearly caught Gamzee's mind when he attempted to feel them out at the orientation. The chucklevoodoo lessons were interesting however; while Gamzee had incredibly powerful psychics by virtue of Kurloz's billions of sweeps, even so the Beforan had never used them for war. Now, that was their main useage, instilling terror within the lesser castes or even mindcontrolling them. Gamzee knew about memory manipulation- Kurloz had done it enough times to Meulin -but the night terrors and other more delicate usage hadn't been something Kurloz employed often. He _had_ aided Mituna from time to time with mental clarity, shoving aside the broken thoughts to allow the yellowblood to have coherent thoughts. Occhio however was mainly focused on explaining to them the aspects of 'voodoos used for war and hunting down heathens. Gamzee still didn't really understand that since he knew some trolls didn't believe and while some needed to die to further the faith killing everyone who didn't believe in the Messiahs sounded like exhausting work. Every time they needed to use their chucklevoodoos Gamzee could do it without issues, much to Occhio's annoyance.

Occhio's suspicion of him was oddly refreshing. There had been blatant favoritism at times lavished on him and Gamzee wasn't fool enough to mistake it; clearly his Ancestor had been held in great esteem and many of the fawning was based on that. Most of the initiates didn't seem to understand it but Gamzee knew some of them had picked up the matching symbols he shared with the huge murals of the previous Grand Highblood. Oddly enough, many of the adults didn't speak to him about Kurloz. Gamzee was unsure if that was a way of mourning or if they just wanted to keep it a secret from him; It was fairly late for that.

Eminor's attitude reminded him of Feferi or non-dead Aradia. Just preppy and cheerful, acting in a manner that could be described as 'Big Sisterly' if his species had such an idea. She was also in charge of the painting classes they were taking. Gamzee liked those classes most, as there was something immensely soothing about sending the day painting and Kurloz had spent many an eon honing his painting skills. He preferred painting things from the Game, such as the consorts and various enemies they'd fought, but he also drew Jane and Calliope and other creatures reminiscent of his old friends. A few asked questions about what- and who -he was painting but Gamzee just completely ignore them. He tried painting Jane, who would accompanying him more often than not, but he could never get her quite right to his frustration. 

The painting classes also proved Hestia had absolutely no creative bones in her body whatsoever which angered and embarrassed her. Eminor however made sure to immediately comfort her, stating that talent wasn't a true thing and in many cases they only ever got as good as they practiced but many found a different area they shined in. 

Gamzee had to help that translation- he had zero issues understanding Eminor's sign language but many of the initiates still had issues with understand her. 

Gratia on the other hand still confused Gamzee. He wasn't sure if the Priest was actually interested in him- Hestia said they were, but Gamzee wasn't sure -but he certainly got a lot of mixed signals from them as they still remained friendly and tactile towards him. He also learned Gratia was in charge of flora, namely poisons. The lessons involving that occurred within the Priestormentor's own rooms, which were akin to a tropical jungle completely saturated with flowers. Gamzee got lost several times- as did many other initiates -since the rooms were so massive and were like a maze of plantlife. He was getting good at identifying the poisonous ones but occasionally he or one of the other initiates would mistake a poisonous flower for a nontoxic one and Gratia would have to forcefeed them an antidote.

Throughout all that, he would receive packages weekly. Inside would be freshly baked goods and a white card imprinted with the impression of pink-painted lips. Gamzee wasn't exactly good with mysteries but he knew exactly who the 'anonymous' sender of the packages were.

The Condesce's baked treats were good, he would grudgingly admit. However he preferred Jane's, and he always would.

* * *

Gamzee ran into Occhio Mutare when he was leaving one of the kitchens after some lunch with Hestia and Koiboi. The gangly Priestormentor was waking down the corridor towards him and for a brief moment Gamzee thought about ducking back around the corner. He dismissed that thought as soon as it showed up, knowing from experience that just because someone was blind didn't mean they couldn't be as sneaky and attentive as the next person and he doubted someone as prideful as Occhio would appreciate such a slight.

_Actually it seems as if blind trolls tend to be even sneakier than their fully visioned brethren,_ Jane remarked, appearing next to him with a flicker of purple, _Maybe it's to do with your insectoid origins? Bugs tend to have terrible vision but they get around find anyway._

He gave a grunt in response and the faint noise caused Occhio to instantly zero in on him and Gamzee had to resist the urge to make a face despite the fact the Priest wouldn't be able to see it. No point in antagonizing the older troll especially since he was already known to the initiates as having a viciously short temper and barbed tongue which he proved yet again as soon as he got within audio duct reach of Gamzee.

"The fuck you doing?" was the Priestomentor's brusque greeting.

"Just, uh, eating some stuff..." Gamzee said awkward, still fairly disconcerted at how tall adult trolls were even after so many months aboard the ship. Even the tallest of the adolescents were shorter than the smallest of adults.

Occhio snapped his teeth irritably, the tip of his long cane-like club clacking on the ground as he drew closer. Gamzee tensed slightly, automatically tightening the shields around his mind. He was still cautious around the older trolls, even if he knew they had ample opportunity to kill him before. Maybe it was just that Occhio tended to get the same sneer that Damara used to get, after the whole 'tormented into beserking rage' thing. Either way, it made him both wary and hivesick.

"Eatin', huh?" Occhio stopped a few feet in front of Gamzee, his purple robes swaying with his movements, "From what Abutor was boring me to shit with earlier you need to eat more, 'cause you were damn near fucking dead back on Alternia, all half-starved like a two caeger slave."

Gamzee watched Occhio with abject fascination; he found it rather interesting how the old Priestormentor seemed to have many habits akin to Terezi, such as wearing glasses and having their weapon serve as a cane to help them navigate. Main difference was Occhio had no eyes at all, unlike the sun-seared teal. Instead he had empty, blank sockets. Occhio shifted in place, facing just off above to Gamzee's right. Another habit he shared with the blind Seer, staring in the vague direction of the speaker rather than right at them.

"What's this then?" Occhio's lips peeled back to show his long teeth, "If you start babbling shit about you not gawking at my missing gander bulbs you can just stuff it; I know you lil' shits get all weird about that and it tends to take you motherfuckers a few sweeps to get over it, if ever."

Gamzee shook his head before remembering Occhio wouldn't be able to see it, quickly amending with, "It ain't that, it's just I knew someone who was blind. You kinda act like her, you know? Blind shit and all."

Occhio made a thoughtful noise, his long forked tongue flicking out of his mouth as he shifted in place, the tip of his cane tapping the floor before he asked "Really? Was she hatched blind like myself?"

"Nah, nah, got her gander bulbs burned outta her fuckin' head 'cause she went and got her peek on the sun."

The Priest let out a loud snort, "Stupid girl, why the fuck would she do such an idiotic thing?"

Gamzee scratched his chin before giving a shrug, "Some hoofbeastshit revenge cycle or some other petty fucked up fest by that disgusting spider. Fuckin' Serket threw a wiggler-tantrum-bitchfest and broke a bro and got ghosted. So she threw _another_ tantrum and killed her, so the blind sis blew half her motherfuckin' face off but she all mindcontroled her into walkin' outside and getting a bulbful of that tenacious as shit sun light."

_Spoilt brat,_ Jane hissed at the back of his mind and Gamzee agreed. Old anger flared up in his gut at that memory. All that pain and suffering just because Vriska couldn't handle someone saying 'no' to her. It was probably something in their genetics since Aranea was just as snobbish and stuck-up as Vriska and he now knew of the timeline where she murdered Jane, which he now held Vriska accountable for since they were one in the same now. He should have killed her back on Alternia. She didn't deserve a second chance. Or hundredth. He lost count of how many timelines bent over backwards for Serket stupidity. Gamzee vowed that if she crossed his path again she wouldn't get off as easily as she did when she confronted him back on Alternia. He'd make her suffer for hurting the people he cared about and for using and abusing him in numerous timelines. He'd kill her in the most painful way possible for killing Jane. He would not be a victim to her again.

_Never._

Occhio abrupt laughter jarred him from his increasingly vicious thoughts, saying, "Oh, a revenge cycle? Well shit, that takes me _back_. Ah, I missed those days; fuckin' petty hate and killing all over due to shitty slights and random-ass insults. Just fucking kill whoever. Those were the days."

"Er, so you did it too?"

The old troll seemed amused at that question, "Well of course- those senseless, bitchy revenge cycles are part of growing up. You get outta it eventually since you get bored killing a fuckload of people just 'cause they insulted your clothes or some other petty shit. Being more...cunning, is entertaining yeah? Or lying in wait, making them so motherfucking paranoid rather than just bludgeoning shit like a fuckin' lowblood dumbass. Whatever."

"How do you see?" Gamzee abruptly blurted out, finally unable to help himself.

The Priestormentor didn't seem too bothered by the abrupt change in conversation, instead cocking his head to the side, long hair swaying behind him, "I'm blind, dumbass."

Gamzee grimaced, "Yeah, shitty word choice. But...like with the blind sis I knew she could see through...well, taste, colour. She could taste colours through things. Apparently her lusus told her how, being a dragon and all."

"She had a dragon?"

"Yeah, she loved that lusus even if it died like ten seconds outta hatching. You know how teals get with their motherfuckin' hobbies and shit."

_Wrong timeline,_ Jane's soft voice murmured at the back of his thinkpan. Oh, right.

The Priestormentor just made a disgusted noise, "Fucking dragon wasted on lowbred trash like that. But undeserving castes aside, I ain't 'seeing' like she does. Fucking tasting colours, the shit is that? Instead I, hmm, I see...the heat, the cold, coming offa people," as if to emphasis his point Occhio's long, slitherbeast-like tongue flickered out of his mouth a few times. Gamzee hummed while peering curiously at the blind troll's face, noticing for the first time the six strange pits lining the side of his long nose.

"So I guess it's real easy to track down rusts and shit, 'cause they run so hot?"

Occhio made a noise of acknowledgment before lightly whacking Gamzee's shin as he tossed head, "Sure as shit. Now scurry off and do wiggler things."

Gamzee did just that.

* * *

It was later that night that Gamzee finally ventured out of his room and into one of the common areas after spending a few hours trying and failing to sleep. It was mostly deserted apart from Hestia and Koiboi, who were playing some kind of game using glowing cards at a table. As if on que the cards suddenly liquefied into a putrid mist that transformed into a strange sparkling miasma cloud of yellow, causing both the purplebloods to leap out of the way while coughing violently.

"I'm not playing that game with you again," Koiboi said, gloved hands pressed against his watering eyes.

"Oh hoofbeast shit," Hestia snorted, sneering despite her own eyes watering as well, "Don't you lie, this game is fun as fuck. Should've gotten the exploding pack, though. Oh wow, our gander bulbs are gonna be sore tomorrow. Probably won't be able to smell shit later either."

"What're you two doin'?" Gamzee asked, causing both the trolls to turn their attention on him with matching expressions of surprise.

"Oh, we were playing gasjack- if you loose then the cards turn into poisonous, acidic gas. It's fun."

"Is not," Koiboi grumbled. Gamzee didn't miss the fresh burn marks on their faces and finger, which was no doubt inflicted by the weird smog that had already vanished. He was kinda curious as to what the explosive pack would do, even if he liked having his face attached to his head. It'd probably be very messy in his opinion and he never did enjoy cleaning.

"Yeah well, that was my last pack so I need ta buy some more," Hestia shrugged. She seemed utterly unconcerned by the burns while Koiboi was still wincing but Gamzee guessed having an eye gored out made someone more inert towards facial injury. 

"Anyhoo," Hestia clapped her hands together, sharp teeth bared in a grin, "Whatcha want?"

"Nothin'. Just had a snack and got bored as shit in my room so I left."

"Huh, well I fucked up my cards so I can't even offer you a game. Koiboi was kinda...eh at it."

"You kept on cheating," the troll in question accused her, not looking her in the face despite his annoyed words, "That's why they um, died."

"Whatever. You guys wanna watch some Chaos Quadrant Conundrum?"

It took Gamzee a few moments to process the question and when he did he frowned, "The fuck is that?" 

"It's, um, I think it's a game show?" Koiboi suggested form his position on the floor.

"Yea, it's like a game show, made by this nutter Eureka. He's great, totally fantastic voice, even though he's like a blueblood but _he's one of us._ One of those off castes Subjugglators we got told about a bit back? Anyway, his show is like a death match between blood castes."

"That ain't new," Gamzee said, scratching his neck idly. He remembered the lesson about the off-caste clowns; it was fascinating, especially with the emphasis on how they had a duty to educate anyone who was interested and if they were still interested after being told the basics of the Church, they were obligated to refer that troll to a Priestormentor for further education. If they remained genuine, they could become initiates themselves, though the initiation period for non-purple trolls was quite long. Some off-castes could potential lie but Gamzee reasoned that was extremely difficult to pull off within a Church full of mind readers. He wondered if Jane would've made a good Subjugglator. He didn't know much about human faith.

But as for shows- He'd seen a lot of fairly disturbing videos when he'd gone browsing on his husktop, many of which he really didn't need to see so he'd stopped after the first few attempts. Hestia still wouldn't stop sending him vore videos, however. He wondered if cultivating the friendship between Hestia and Koiboi was completely wise.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm getting to that," Hestia snapped, "It's kinda like that I guess but it's mainly for low to midbloods who have quadrants. They can only enter if they have quadrants and the more quadrants they have when they enroll then the more benefits they receive! Like healing items, weapons, psionic resistance defense and other shit. The arena changes each week and they can die from like environment fuckery or the exotic wild life."

Koiboi spoke up, "They also have to wear collars that explode if they break the rules and have camera lenses placed in their eyes that let you see through their perspective. It is....rather entertaining at times. Apparently. Popular, at least."

Gamzee shrugged, "Seems kinda mean."

"How?" Hestia seemed genuinely bemused by the answer. Koiboi just continued to watch the two of them, his wide watery eyes darting from Hestia to Gamzee while his hands twisted into the fabric of his skirt with repetitive, nervous motions.

Gamzee just started back evenly at her before saying slowly, "Well like...making 'em kill their quadrants. That seems pretty mean."

Hestia gave a loud snort, "Oh please, I'm like _pretty_ sure lowbloods don't really have the mental capacity to, you know, care that much. They're only above feral by a hairsbreath and that's me being totally fuckin' generous."

Frowning, Gamzee watched as Hestia paced back and forward in front of the couch he was sitting on while Koiboi remained on the floor as the troll steered the conversation back to the game show. She was animated with a vibrant vibe of enthusiasm in her voice. He guessed Hestia loved that 'Chaos Quadrant Conundrum' show as much as Karkat loved those ridiculous movies he used to watch. 

"But like, he's generous you know? Rewards 'em if they don't fuck right up and die so they stop being filth so yeah, good for them. Sometimes it gets _reeeal_ juicy and like the only ones left are ones who're in quadrants. Oh that shits great."

"What happens if they refuse?"

"Then Eureka denotes their collars," Hestia said cheerfully, "He ain't got time for that shit! Does make ratings spike when they pull that dumbass shit though, so hey win for both sides; those fucks die for some stupid-ass belief and Eureka rakes it in. They knew what they signed up for, then get all fuckin' indigent when they can't hack it. Anyway, wanna watch it?"

"Isn't that excessive?" Koiboi asked.

"Nah fuck it, wanna see shit in style. Anyway, you guys so wanna see the close ups when they start dyin'".

Truthfully Gamzee didn't, but a morbid curiosity urged him to nod. Koiboi perked up from the floor as Hestia dug into her sylladex and pulled out a husktop with a screen larger than himself. With quick movements she set it up in front of the couch before flopping down on it next to Gamzee. Koiboi crawled along the ground until he was leaning against the arm of the couch, but otherwise didn't comment as Hestia snatched a remote from her sylladex and switched on the husktop, running through the channels until she found the one she was looking for.

"Ah ha! There he is!" Hestia crowed, pointing excitedly at the screen. Gamzee was rather taken back at seeing Subjuggaltor facepaint on the lithe blueblood on screen but something about his excited smile and body language somehow spoke of kinship towards him and he found himself oddly transfixed by the blueblood as he laughed, his side-ways wavy horns rocking from side to side as he swayed to and fro.

"-and that wraps up this weeks episode! I hope all of you had just as much of a fantastic time with this as I did!" he pivoted in place, the long tails of his black suit swirling behind him as he strode across the stage and making an excited gesture towards the edge. As if on que a greenblood stumbled onto the brightly lit stage; he was filthy and covered in a variety blood and was missing his right arm below the elbow. Despite that he glanced at the camera and smiled, showing stained and broken teeth, his demented grin not wavering even when the blueblood grabbed his injured arm and dragged him into the center of the stage.

"Here is our winner, folks!" the blueblood announced, "Wasn't that a spectacular final performance? Especially that final battle! There is nothing quite like quadrants mates making it to the final round and seeing the blood fight! Now what quadrant was that rustblood in with you, my boy?" his attention shifted snaked quick, fixing a bright eye on the greenblood who continued to stare and smile vacantly at the camera.

It wasn't until he was shaking did the greenblood speak, voice hoarse, "She was my kismesis. We'd been together for near five sweeps."

"Oh ho! Now- 

The blueblood flashed another brilliant smile before clapping a hand on the shoulder of the greenblood, exclaiming, "Aren't those just inspirational words?! And from such a winner! Remember to look up the grubtube videos for the highlights of this weeks episode, including the final lethal fight between the two kismesis! Ah, I love it when we get such a spectacular ending to-" here he flicked a hand outward, urging the audience who dutifully shouted back and finishing his sentence, "-Chaos Quadrant Conundrum!"

Laughing wildly the blueblood yanked the blood splattered green against his side, beaming down at the shorter troll, Now lets here it for Sereno Oistin! This weeks winner of Chaos Quadrant Conundrum! Tune in next week for another exciting episode and good morning to you all!"

"Oh shit," Hestia whined, "It's the fuckin' end. Whatever, the Empress's show is right after."

That caught Gamzee's attention, "Her what?"

"Yea, she's got a cooking show? Cooking with the Condese. She makes some good shit, see it's startin'."

The first thing he noticed with the Condesce's personal kitchen was how it was absolutely laden in pink and gold, with gold edgings on the bench and fridge, with all the cooking utensils hanging on the wall above one of the benches being gold as well. Even the candles fixed to the golden wall holdings were made from pink wax. The Condesce herself fit right in, in her typical black wetsuit edged in tyrian and with gold jewellery lavishing her arms and fins. However she also was wearing an apron with the words 'Woship da cook' written on it in pink gemstones. 

Gamzee blinked, thinking intently. He knew the Condesce liked baking- the fact she'd been sending him packages full of baked goods was fairly a good hint. But he also remembered through various memories of Kurloz about the Condesce's stint on Earth where she disguised herself as a human named Betty Crocker before killing their entire race. But that also had the same traits as Meenah- he remembered (or at least Kurloz did) Meenah baking them all a cake in celebration of their one sweep anniversary in SGRUB. So clearly there was that part of Meenah which was expressing itself in the Alternian Meenah but he was unsure how far it went- after all, Meenah had never expressed any kind of romantic interested in Kurloz, yet he was fairly sure the Condesce's odd behaviour towards him had some kind of quadrant intention or perhaps he could be misreading the situation entirely. That was also possible. Probably actually, considering his track record. But if the two Peixes shared such a trait then the Ancestors would keep them as well- since the Ancestors were the Beforans, just raised in a different universe. But since that was the case, would it mean their souls were the same just shifted to a new universe to be raised? And if so, did that mean there had been a Gamzee of Beforus? As far as he knew, the Empress of Beforus had the same mentality of Feferi, choosing culling which meant coddling and treating grown adult trolls as mindless wigglers to be petted and looked after but had it actually been Feferi? Kurloz had never bothered to know the true name of the Empress and frankly if it hadn't been for Gamzee's Game knowledge he never would've known the Condesce's real name but aside from the matching genetics (and Feferi greatly resembled Meenah and vice versa so it seemed to just be a familial trait) the Condesce and Meenah were nothing alike- even the very air they carried was vastly different, something Gamzee had immediately taken note of when he'd personally met the Empress and what he remembered witness the Empress exhibit when everything went to smash at the end of the Game and she and Aranea had their vicious battle which resulted in basically everyone dead and Areana's neck justly snapped. 

Or what was a timeline he wasn't following, or at least saw through to the end as the main state. It got confusing at times since there were thousands of timelines near identical barring small differences and Kurloz knew millions more and his memory was far better and deeper than Gamzee's. It got frustrating and sometimes he forgot the timeline he knew the best, the one with him and Jane and holding her in his arms until the sky shattered around them. But he remembered the ones where he witnessed the Condesce use her formidable powers, but it seemed she had no remembrance of the Game. Or maybe she did, which was why she was interested in him? Or was it just something to do with his resemblance to his Ancestor?

He didn't even notice he'd started dozing off until Hestia kicked him lightly in the side, saying, "Oi, you slept through half of it! What's with you, eh? Just conkin' out whenever. Thought you liked bakin'?"

Gamzee glanced up at Hestia, who was frowning, before he looked back at the screen where the Condesce was carefully arranging small pastry rolls, which she had apparently just finished filling with blood-infused custard before making up a strange cone-like object which she placed on the counter next to the buns, then she moved towards the stove, where a pot was resting upon.

"Now, we wanna get the syrup which makes this mother glubber stick on together," the Condesce was saying, "Ain't no point makin' this fancy ship if it's just gonna capsize. Put the sugar and water inna clean pan. Put that fuck on a lot heat otterwise y'all gonna burn the shit outta it and make shore ya steering while it's dissolving, yo. Now, once dat shit is done dissolving, switch it up ta boilin' but be careful as ship not to burn it. At this part you can also adda dash of blood or marrow to ya choice- lots of cases it depends on what you're making dis ship for. Lowblood is pretty good 'cause it ain't gonna fuck up in the heat so much but really depends on ya taste," she said while demonstrating.

Gamzee watched as the Condesce dipped the small bun in the cooling syrup before putting a ring of the rolls on the cone, and slowly building her way up, "Make shore ya watch them fingers, 'cause this fucker is hot so even use the tips of ya claws, yeah? And gotta do it quick otterwise its gonna cool too much and ain't stick ta shit," she moved swiftly, sticking the buns in the syrup one at a time using the tips of her sharp claws before stacking them until there was a small pyramid made up of them on the table top, syrup glistening like gold in the candle light. 

"There we go," with a satisfied grin she stepped back, surveying the pyramid before saying, "Gotta leave that ship for 'boat half an hour so sticks right- fuck aboat w' it too much and it'll fall so don't touch. But once it's set, get if off dat mold and then put it wherever ya wanna serve it. You _can_ freeze it, but one wrong move and this suckerfish is gonna capsize. You can also make some spun sugar and drape it over the finished pyramid, so its hella sparkly."

"And there we go! Croquembouche all done and motherfuckin' dusted. Now, on to the next one- Flame on the iceberg! Don't worry, ain't actually ice in here, just got that title 'cause of its looks," the Condesce said, her voice thick and rich as she briskly cleaned up the bench. It was interesting, seeing the Empress of an intergalactic murderous Empire doing something so mundane but Gamzee guessed even dictators needed something to do in their downtime.

She finished cleaning up the bench and promptly sorted out new ingredients and cooking utensils, before turning back to the camera and saying, "So surf we gotta think 'bout that meringue; that shit makes or breaks ya flame on the iceberg, yo. Basic ship, being water and sugar. Fuck measuring, just dump in enough that it looks right; when ya cook long enough, you can tell just by sight how much ya need and how much ya motherfuckers are addin'. Anywaves, this is kinda like with the syrup before, we stir it together and then bring it to boil.'

The Condesce poured in the water and sugar, mixing it together as she placed it on the oven top and brought it to boiling point before continuing, "So just leave dat ship for 'boat four minutes and while ya waitin' for that, you start with them eggs and separating that yolk from da whites," with a practiced hand she cracked the egg on the side of the bowl and easily caught the yolk in one broken half before sluicing it from side to side, making the white of the egg spill into the small bowl below.

"Now, w' that done, we add a dash of luster fruit juice-" she speared one of the nearby yellow fruits with a razor-sharp claw and then squeezed, sending a squirt of the juice into the egg whites, "Then we stir the absolute shit out of it."

"Now, get ya sugar since by now the water would've evaporated and then slowly drip it into the whites," she said, using one hand to balance the bowl of sugar and the other stiring the egg whites consistently, "Make sure it's all stirred in right and good. Make it slow, though. Easy to fuck this right up."

The various bangles and loops of gold around her muscular forearms sparkled as she stirred the bowl after she finished pouring in the sugar, movements a blur of frenzied movement. She kept that up for a while before pulling back with a satisfied smirk on her painted lips as she held up the bowl so the camera could see, "Look at how fluffy this ship is, like new surf yo. Ya want it stiff, so if you hold the bowl upside down-" here she demonstrated, "- it's gonna stay in shape. That's how you shits make dat meringue right, nice and stiff and glossy as a motha fuck."

She put the bowl aside and pulled out a loaf, holding it up for the viewer to see, "This is a grub-and-bloodsyrup loaf I made eariler, which is a good filling. You can also buy this shit at like any store, so you ain't gonna be worrying though if you got time make one yourself. Anywaves, cut this shit into three and them use those cutters to make lil' circles from 'em," she explained, slicing up the loaf before using a small cutting to extract numerous little circles form the loaf. She tossed aside the offcuts without blinking before turning and opening the fridge and rummaging inside for a moment before returning.

Holding the small jar she explained, "Yo, you lot remember that ice cream I made before? Whale, this is why. Let it soften a bit then we can get to work. With this part ya gotta be fast- ice cream is gonna melt fast as fuck so get everyfin ready before ya haul bass."

"So first put down one circle of loaf, then fit ya ice cream ontop of that," the Condesce said, explaining her actions as she moved, "Then add another sponge slice on top- kinda like a lil' ice cream sandwich, yo. Then you get a palleet knife and just glob the absolute fuck outta this loaf, just slap on all that nice as ship meringue all over this motherfuck."

"Also good thing aboat this is it freezes super well, so you can make a fuckload like even a week before and just stuff 'em in the freezer and boom, drag 'em out for a meal later without worries. But first you gotta get that flame bit on, so after you smother that fucker in meringue grab a blowtorch and just give it a crispy burn," she finished, brandishing a small blowtorch and then clicking it on, crisping the edges of the meringue with a shark toothed grin. 

"And there ya go, flame on the iceberg. Ain't that hard to make and preserves betta than a lot of other ship," the Condesce sliced off some of the meringue top and licked it off her shiny pink claw,"Alright, now lets got to the questions," the Condesce finished, untying her apron and tossing it at the nearby coat rack and missing completely. With a toss of her head she walked off to the side, the camera following her. Her hair dragged along behind her like a colossal, twisted horrorterror and Gamzee wondered if she ever brushed it or just let it grow wild. He would relate to that last part, if that was the case.

The Condesce settled down on a lavish chair just short of a throne, licking some stray bits of syrup off her claws before reasserting her attention on the camera, "Whale, let's get this ship started with- oi, gimme one of them letters."

Another arm came into view- jeweled akin to the Condesce's but not as thickly -and handed the Empress a series of thick envelopes. She shuffled the envelopes before selecting one at random and slicing open the top with a sharp claw and prying out the letter.

"Let's start off with this one, looks good so uh lemme sea- _'Dear Condesce, you're fintastic,'_ " the Condesce read out. There was a brief pause before, "That ain't a question, bro. You just statin' facts. But not that ship during a question hour, yo. So on to the next."

"Okay this one ain't just blowing the conch on how great I am- _'Oi great empress, do you know any good brands of edible claw polish? Because I like bakin' after watching your show but when I do I keep on dropping flakes in my food and that shit ain't good'._ Alright, good question. So you motherglubbers prob' already note I'm wearing it," she raised a hand and waggled her fingers; despite her earlier cooking the sparkling pink polish remained completely intact, not chipped at all, "That's 'cause you're right- gotta have that edible ship on unless you wanna go 'blurgh' in the middle of snacking on ya food, yo. Like, there's that ship that makes ya claws hella sharp and tougher but yeah, taste fuckin' gross if you eat some. Anywaves, yea I get mah ship custom made- like makin' from my own blood yo -but you can get that ship through bleeders. Just sometimes ya get fuckers who ain't makin' it right but watever, just fish aboat until you find a good one." 

"Alright, so the next one-"

Gamzee got up and left, ignoring Hestia's confused questions. He'd had enough of the Empress for one day.

* * *

Gamzee wasn't too sure what he was even planning to do when he went wandering off in one of the many trips planet side, groggy and tired. After watching that show he'd just left and gone to sleep ago and then there had be various other lessons before their next trip. Learning, even just watching shows, was strangely tiring and he just wanted to sleep a lot. However naturally the trip turned to the worse when he got attacked by a rebel; He could faintly remember seeing an immense flutterbeast drift past, leaving a trail of sparkling dust and he instantly pursued it into the weeds, whatever his original plan was vanishing from his thinkpan like sopor from a pie tin.

Then Occhio was there in a swirl of purple robes, intercepting a sword intended for his back. Gamzee blinked, mind feeling slow as he watched the Priest land lightly before spinning around and slamming a foot into the bulky cobalt's abdomen. She stumbled back, teeth bared in a feral hiss. The kick didn't even dent the light blue armour she was wearing and her grip was firm on the hilt of her jagged sword. The hot spike of chucklevoodoos pressed against Gamzee's mind but the psychics weren't directed towards him; the cobalt flinched, teeth bared, but stood her ground.

"Ah, a fuckin' heretic, eh?" Occhio's voice was goading, and he pitched his voice higher so Gamzee could hear him more clearly, "Watch closely, lil' initiate and I'll show you how we deal with those shitheel heathens. They have a habit of lurkin' about when we're planetside, hoping to pick off any initiate who wanders off."

With a blur Occhio flashstepped forward, appearing directly in front of the cobalt with his club moving in a downward swing. The cobalt however wasn't a newcomer to fighting and instantly parried him, catching the spikes of the club end with her sword and twisting it away. 

Gamzee quickly bounced out of the way, leaving the two adults facing off against one another. A part of Gamzee was worried but it felt distant. Occhio was old and cunning, so he doubted the Priest wouldn't win. But then, he'd seen mighty warriors die from foolish mistakes; he was quite sure there even was a timeline where the enslaved Condesce died from a sucker stab aka a cheap shot in the back. He wondered if the Empress would die from such a blow in this universe. Though how she even managed to get back stabbed in the first time bemused him, considering how much hair she had which protected her back. So how did it even happen the first time? 

The sharp ring of club and blade colliding yanked him from his thoughts as he watched Occhio drive back the cerulean with his staff; due to his weapon type the Priestormentor was able to block and attack simultaneously, easily swatting aside the sword or jamming the sharp edge in the points of his club. 

Occhio moved fluidly but in a strangely rough manner in his fighting- quick and sharp, with an almost arrogant ease. The cobalt meanwhile was hard pressed to stay alive and in their short conflict acquired dozen of stab wounds and slices upon her flesh while her amour became dented and broken. Gamzee already knew who the victor would be and he could tell from Occhio's 'voodoos that the old troll was simply toying with the cobalt at this point; he could've broken her mind in the first use of his psychics but instead he wanted to draw the fight out- as an example for Gamzee.

Then Occhio's staff broke the cobalt's knee cap, knocking her down with a cry of pain and he promptly roundhouse kicked her, smacking her fully onto her back with a solid _thwack_. With a flick of his cane, he swatted the sword where it sailed off a few yards before burying itself hilt deep into a nearby tree trunk.

The Priestormentor spat on the troll, lips curling into a sneer before he glanced back to where Gamzee was staring from his position on the roots of a massive tree, crouched down on the bark. Occhio gestured to the injured cobalt, "Alrightie wiggler, now come over here and strike the finishing blow."

Gamzee paused, thinking over the words before saying, "I...what you mean? She ain't going anywhere."

The expression of boredom shifted to annoyance, "She's a heretic, wiggler. Spits upon the Church. Gotta kill these fucks 'fore they try anything else."

"But...she's already fucked up. Ain't that lesson enough?"

"Her kind don't understand that shit, they're too dumbfuck stupid to change their thinkpans. You must strike them down, quickly. Otherwise they'll flee, find more of their motherfucking kind and while one ain't a threat a group _can_ be. Best weed them quick. Misplaced mercy with these savages can cause the death of your own, of your own fellow clowns. You don't want that, do ya?""

Gamzee shook his head, frowning. Occhio moved, carefully walking around Gamzee's side before putting a large hand at the Bard's lower back and gently urging him forward. At the Priestormentor's urging, he reluctantly pulled his club from his strife deck. The cobalt noticed his approach and tried to move away but another vicious kick to face nearly knocked her unconscious.

"Go on, do it," there was an order there but Gamzee shook his head again. There was a severe difference in killing out of defense, rage or even in indoctrinated loyalty. This cobalt however wasn't any threat and her death wasn't desired by his Messiahs. He still felt guilt over the killings of his friends, even in the case of the two 'meowrails' it had been demanded by his Lord.

With a heavy scowl crossing his painted face Occhio stalked forward; with fluid movements he spun his staff around and slammed the thin tip edged with a sharpened severed troll horn right down into the troll's ear canal, piecing the brain and killing her instantly.

For a long moment there was silence and then Occhio spoke, "You can show them mercy. You know that, don't you?" the Priest turned, a heavy frown distorting his face, "If you let scum like that flee, what do you think they'll do? They'll leave and magically change their fucking ways? No, they'll take advantage, use it to gut you or one of your fellows. You have to kill them all, eradicate them like the vermin they are. You _must_ do that- it's what we are to do. We are Subjugglators."

The Bard nodded along, but all he could see was the bloodied face of the cobalt, who was dead on the ground. Blood was staining most of her face and it looked like her nose was broken. He flinched suddenly as a series of images flashed rapidly behind his eyes- Equius with veins bulging from his face and neck as he was sprawled unseeing upon the ground, the bloodied, bone-pulped mass of Nepeta lying dead next to her moirail, Terezi dead with her broken bones jutting out of her skin and face an unrecognizable mess and he turned to the side and violently retched.

Gamzee started crying, bile thick on his tongue, "I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry. I don't..." he trailed off before throwing up again, a heavy burn in his throat as he heaved,

There was silence from Occhio then the Priestormentor squatted down next to him. Gamzee remained sprawled on the ground, face covered by his hands. Then spindly fingers brushed aside his bangs and thin lips pressed against his brow before they moved back and without a sound the Priest retreated. Gamzee didn't respond to the strange, comforting gesture and at the edge of his awareness he sound sense Occhio leaving, mind moving further and further away before he retreated back to his own misery.

Guilt warred within him- guilt over failing to kill the cobalt and even seeing her die and guilt over disappointing Occhio.

He hadn't felt so conflicted in so long- even after killing Nepeta and Equius while the Will of his Messiah beat down upon his thinkpan, moving his hands and body. Afterwards he had cried- after being papped by Karkat or tied by Terezi sometimes he was unsure -but in the end he'd accepted that it had to happen, otherwise ARquisprite never would've been created who was integral to Lord English. But the killing of the cobalt left him feeling weird, like he wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel or finding a way to accept it. Though Occhio would've had a point, since if he had left left the cobalt go she would've potentially killed one of her fellows down the line.

Then Gratia was settling down next to him and Gamzee blinked, rubbing at his face and sniffing.

"He just left," Gamzee grumbled.

"Do not take it personally," Gratia said gently, "Occhio finds it...difficult to be gentle. He cares but finds it difficult to show it. His...crass nature makes it difficult to express. Gentleness does not come naturally for him and he knows he can be unintentionally blunt which may hurt initiates- especially ones who are in delicate states. You were friends with lowbloods and their ilk while young- that mentality of camaraderie can be difficult to overcome. But your duty is to the Church, first and foremost. You understand that don't you?"

Gamzee thought it over; he remembered Kurloz manipulating Meulin and many of the other Dancestors within the Dreambubbles. While it wasn't him killing them- mainly because you couldn't kill a ghost -he knew Kurloz wouldn't have hesitated to kill them all to serve his Messiahs. Gamzee had killed for them as well, though it had to be coerced through brainwashing from Lord English's soul jar. he'd been too weak otherwise to do it on his own. So could he do it in this new world? Kill ones who were defenseless for his faith?

He had to; if not for the Church than for the memories of his Messiahs. They deserved that much, especially after he failed them so badly in SGURB.

Mind made up, he met Gratia's gaze and gave one solid, decisive nod. The Priest's smile was wide and toothy before Gratia grabbed him into a hug that squeezed the breath from his lungs.

* * *

The Priestormentor that spoke to them later about their career choice wasn't one of the High Priestormentors; instead it was a bulky female with thick wavy hair that hung past her waist and heavy curled horns. She was also missing her left leg, having a purple-painted prosthetic but nonetheless her attitude was bright and happy, and she introduced herself as 'Lothri'. And according to her she was a careers advisor as one of her priestly duties to them. 

Gamzee was in the group of twenty, and he recognized most of them from other excursions they'd had planetside but Hestia and Koiboi were the only ones he knew the names of. Others he knew in passing but on the whole he kept himself to the sidelines. They were sitting on the floor in front of the Priest, in some kind of school feeding room. The floor was the fur of some dead beast and was so immensely soft Gamzee wanted to lie down and have a nap like he did with Karrel's lessons so far back but Lothri promptly began her lesson without hesitation as soon as they were all sitting down.

"Now! Jobs! Who here can tell me some jobs y'all can get in the Church?" She gave them a wide grin, teeth crocked.

There was a brief pause before one of the initiates said, "Uh, Subjugglator?"

"Good! That's an all rounder! Anything else?"

"Rag ripper?" A girl suggested this one, voice soft.

"Yes, great! Any more?"

"Laughassassin."

"Yup! How about another!"

"Inventerrorist?"

"Indeed!" Lothri clapped her hands together, eyes bright, "There's a plethora of careers out there you can choose- a Subjugglator is any member of the Church, which is your _base_ job! But you can chose a specialization or something else if you want. Rag ripper, Laughassassin, Inventerrorists, Flesharvester, Imperial Recorders, Skinners, Bleeders...Now, you lil' mites show you know some of them, but can you tell me what they _do_ in terms of jobs?"

Next to him, Gamzee saw Koiboi's hand twitch up from his lap slightly before the other purple looked down and started toying with his skirts and Gamzee knew his nervousness wouldn't let him say it out loud.

"Okay, so lemme explain!" Lothri hummed before ejecting a massive hovering screen from her sylladex, pulling out a remote and switching it on. Numerous lines and graphs showed up and she pointed at the screen, "Some careers you can pick are _Church_ only jobs! It means only those who are members of the Church can pick them! These include Laughassassin and Bleeders. Bleeders are the ones who drain the blood from tributes and mix it into paint, giving it that nice, fresh glossy shine like it's been freshly spilled. Priestormentors are also one, obviously, since they keep the gospel of the Church and of our Messiahs safe and pass it onto the next generations to come. Like me!"

With a _click_ Lothri changed the picture, switching it from the factory to an immensely detailed diagram of a inside of a rustblood. Gamzee made a face even as Lothri started talking again, "Here we have Doctorturer! They know everything there is to know about what goes on inside a troll of all castes. Now, they aren't Church-locked, so you can get non-purple Doctorturers, though the eldest Doctorturer in the fleet is our own Abutor Vulnus. He's in charge of the classes, though obviously he can't be there all the time. But yes, that's another job we have if you're into that kinda thing but of course we'll take you to see those things in action, to get a real feel of them. And you can always change your career choice later however, if you don't like the current one. We live quite a long time, so no pressure on that front."

"You lot will also have trips to see these in action- especially to the silkworks! It's always a busy busy busy time there when we go through Conscription, so Imma take you guys there after we have this little meeting done, okay?" Lothri pointed at the screen where there was a massive picture of a huge facility filled with thousands of giant water tanks and what looked like immense cocoons fixed above the tanks. She clicked the remote and it shifted to various states of the cocoons, with them being submerged into boiling water before being unwound and the silk harvested, along with the now-dead troll within being sliced out.

"Troll silk is rather difficult to cultivate, so you'll be in for some lessons on how to create it from cocoons- but there's also a lot of pros, like getting your pick of a troll inside! Also the Silk Master is quite a nice guy who knows his shit, even for a cobalt who are typically a dumbfuck caste."

Gamzee blinked, rather lost as to what Lothri was even talking about, the entire concept of troll silk foreign to him. Then again he didn't even know what silk was beyond the fact is was some kind of material. Other than that, he had no idea before she started to show them the slides so now he knew it was cultivated from their cocoons, after boiling the inert troll alive and somehow spinning out the silk.

"Of course, we can only harvest troll silk after Conscription for obvious reasons- can't exactly have it all sweeps around since we need pupating trolls for it. And luckily enough the pupations are coming up, and obviously lowbloods and other such ilk go into their pupations first so we'll be able to witness it first hand! But still, don't feel stuck with a job, you can pick many until you find the one you like most!"

"So...it's kinda gonna be like those other trips, but this is job shit?" a troll at the front asked.

"Yup! That's why my matesprit is here- Ashure! He's one of our residential Laughassassins. He's gonna talk to you guys about that, then we'll get that trip started, yeah?"

The group exchanged looks and Gamzee smiled to himself; he'd detected the Laughassassin as soon as he'd ghosted into the room and was currently clinging to the ceiling but that was only due to Kurloz's immense psychic prowess. As it was there was barely a whisper from the newcomers 'voodoos and Gamzee was impressed over his control.

Then without a sound a lithe troll with stick thin limbs suddenly appeared, dropping silently from the darkness above and causing many of them to jump or flinch backwards. His arms were overly long, being gleaming, metal prosthetic limbs. His body was slender and his pants were a strange, sparkly black fabric dotted with poka dots, and he had a pair of suspenders keeping them up; otherwise his chest was bare. His head was completely covered in some strange, bag-like mask with two long tails on the back and fixed around his neck with a knotted rope. A pair of mirrored goggles were fixed around the bag and his horns were two spears jutting upwards.

Gamzee watched him as the adult scuttled over to Lothri on all fours, his artificial arms not even making a sound as he heard the Priest's side. He remained crouched down, long arms stretched in front of him as he settled down. Lothri gave him a fond look before shifting back slightly, giving him the floor.

"Now then, as you ones one, I am a Laughassassin- a job restricted to the Church," Ashure's voice was raspy and oddly strained to the point Gamzee would guess the troll had gotten his throat sliced at one point- it would fit with the various scar tissue he could see bared on the assassin's skin and inching down past the neck of his mask. Said mask had a face painted on it, much like Lothri's own. Gamzee wondered if Ashure also had facepaint on his real face beneath the mask. 

Ashure continued, rolling his mechanic shoulders slightly, "Life as a Laughassassin can be fairly lonely at times- we're usually send on long, isolated missions at a time, send after a specific target; that can be a troll or a group, or an operation. Sometimes, I would be separated from my matesprit for weeks- once even over two sweeps," Lothri smiled sadlt at that and comfortingly rubbed her matesprit's horn and he leaned into her touch as he carried on speaking, "So I wouldn't recommend it to someone who thrives upon contact as you will spend a lot of time on your own, tracking your targets. In many cases we have to do a great deal of reconnaissance before we kill a target- for our jobs we must be _absolutely_ sure we are killing the right target."

He settled onto his haunches, lanky frame loose and limbs lax, "Precision is the main tactic for us- we cannot simply barge into a heretic hide out and massacre the lot of them. We use finese and in many cases we are silent, unknown to be there until the corpse is stiff. Once, my target was within a labyrinth on an alien planet, surrounded by their allies and wild beasts of that planet yet the specifications of my mission was to only kill them without being detected by anyone- even the wild animals. So it is lonely work and you must keep your guard up, be focused on your goal and no matter your personal urges you cannot compromise your mission- not unless you get the approval from the Bloodied Authority. So you can't act on your own outside of your mission perimeters."

"It took me three entire sweeps to infiltrate the elaborate maze which spanned the whole planet, completely undetected to reach my prey. I slept half crushed underneath boulders, eating bugs from the walls, drank water seeping from the rocks and did not see the sky for as long as I slunk through the traps, past the beasts and those guards. There were times I nearly failed but eventually I found my prey. And I poisoned them. That was it- all that effort to simply poison their drinking water and watch them choke and die from the shadows. No one knew how or why they died and they never knew I nor the Church was involved."

Ashure straightened up, claws kneading at the plush carpet as he continued, "So if you're looking for personal glory, becoming a Laughassassin is not for you- we are hardly known by our personal deeds and while they may know a Laughassassin committed the deed, they will most likely never know what one did it. We are the knife in the dark for the Church. We are the surgically precise scalpel compared with the vibrant, blood-splattered club of the mainstream Church. But if you like grueling missions, if you enjoy espionage, deceit and knowing that you killed one troll surrounding by hundred with all of them none the wiser."

The Laughassassin's voice grew more somber, "You would also be at a far higher risk of dying outside the Church, alone. Of course, the Valkyrie will come and find your remains when you die in service, but know that this job line can be lonely and you can die alone."

There was a silence that followed that and Gamzee thought along with what Ashure had said; it actually sounded oddly fun, the espionage and sneaking- pity neither of the Zahhak's had been a clown, as no doubt the presence of the undetectable Void would've been an invaluable asset for a Laughassassin. 

"Remember, your service to the Church is paramount," Ashure said, rough voice becoming softer, "And none are without risks," here he raised his arms, the candle light reflecting off his metallic limbs.

Lothri let the silence linger for a long while before she stroked Ashure's horn. Without any other prompting the lankly adult stood and lightly nuzzled his matesprit. Then, without a sound, he departed.

A smile full of melancholy settled on Lothri's face and she spoke, "This is why we don't mind if it takes you sweeps, if ever, you choose a profession. You can stay a Subjugglator and never take a career if you so wish, until you are completely ready. But!" she clapped her hands together and made a few of them start, "There's enough of that isn't it? Time to go to the silkworks! Come on, come on, get those butts up and let's get started!"

* * *

The next half an hour was a rush of activity and preparation; Gamzee wasn't even aware they'd landed on another planet, with the flagship docked already at the Silkworks. They were joined by two more groups of initiates, until around sixty of them were following a beaming Lothri as she led them down the gangway onto the massive deck of a sprawling industry complex. 

The first thing Gamzee saw was _machinery._ Huge towering factories of steel and metal with colossal pipes twisting around them like snakes and factories pumping out billowing towers of smoke into the dusky sky. Massive train tracks stretched out from the openings at the top of the factory and even as he watched a massive train went speeding overhead, hanging below the rails and wheels a blur as it sped into the opening and vanished from sight. The place looked like some strange Game planet to Gamzee and he took a few curious sniffs; the air smelled of something burning and the telltale scent of blood.

"Wowee, ye gonna ha' tae wonder how lon' it toke 'em tae make th' place, yea?" an initiate with spiral horns exclaimed next to Gamzee who nodded in agreement. 

"Alright follow me young 'uns!" Lothri's voice easily carried over the crowd and she shepherded the group forward, "Gotta meet the Silk Master who'll give us all the info about this place!"

Gamzee sniffed again before obediently following along with the rest, with Koiboi somehow appearing to his side like a ghost; honestly, the other troll was eerily silent at times and could creep up on others without too much effort. Gamzee would guess Koiboi would excel at being a Laughassassin as Ashure mentioned previously as he had the patience and stealthiness required for the job. However he got distracted from that when they were ushered through the front doors of the factory floor. The slides Lothri had shown them before did not manage to grasp the sheer scale of the facility and Gamzee squinted up, the ceiling stretching as far as the eye could see and being covered in pipes and conveyor belts. The noise was pure industry; just the drone of gears, humming pipes, rumbling computers, boiling water and the hum of voices. 

Lothri was saying something but he ignored her, too interesting in staring at a nearby teal adult who was tending to a fleshy computer console attached to one of the massive tubs; the most obvious thing about the teal was the yellowblood strapped to her back; the psionic was missing their arms and legs, instead having the joints lopped off at the shoulder and hip respectively. Numerous thin wires and machinery were threading into the yellowblood's thinkpan and around their skull and connected to odd databoards the teal was wearing. More thin, fleshy wires crawled down the teal's shoulders until they reached her forearms and even as he stared the psionic's eyes started shimmering red and blue but instead of the telekinetic energy emanating from the yellowblood, it snaked down the wires like miniature lightning bolts before consolidating on the gauntlets the teal had strapped to her forearms. Fascinated, Gamzee watched as the teal used the psionic the yellowblood was generating to power up the computer system she was repairing and he watched as the screens booted back up and with a loud hum the machine successfully restarted.

"Oh ye, I read 'bout 'em," the female initiate with colourful teeth next to Gamzee said, nudging him with her elbow, "Them be Flesharvestors- like lil' portable helmsmen ye get? Mobile power units. Gotta use 'em excess yellas for somethin' 'cause ain't producing enough ships for 'em all be helmsies."

He grinned back at her, "Seems some weird science shit I ain't gonna be understanding in this thinkpan about any time soon."

She laughed, gold-plated fangs gleaming as she tossed her head back, "Ye I hear ya loud an' clear, bro. Fuckin' shit at any of this science mother fuck. Ain't even hardly know how to turn on a husktop some times."

"Greetin's, y'all!" the voice was high and shrill and pulled along both of their attentions. They watched as a new adult approached and greeted Lothri in familiar tones, a smile gracing the Priest's face as she did so.

It was cobalt, short and stout, and wearing a pair of overalls matching his eyes. A large sunhat was perched on his head, with holes for his thick wavy horns and two braids framed his wide face while the rest fell down his back. The elbow length gloves he wore were slick with water and diluted blood, as were his bare feet.

Gamzee guessed this was the Silk Master, the one in charge of the silkworks. He sniffed again before reaching out with his chucklevoodoos, gently probing at the teal's mind; it was happy and at ease, feeling genuinely happy to be giving them a tour. Pursing his lips he pulled back his psychics as the cobalt began to address the group at large, Lothri by his side.

"Hello! It's so nice ta meet y'all! Imma Silk Master and lemme say, them lil' clowns make good skin rippas! Or rag rippas- interchangeable title yeah? But anyway, you clowns got a good eye fer colour and styles, ain't any other caste got it like yous," the Silk Master said, smile wide and showing large, wonky teeth, "So I always 'ope some of y'all are gonna be interested in gettin' in the skill of troll silk makin' and that's why I'm here! Always good with Conscription, give us fresh produce! Here, take a walk and I'll show y'all, some rusts are gettin' ready for process as it and ya can watch it."

With that the Silk Master turned on his heel and trotted down the massive walkway bracketed by dozenes of machines and computers, the small group of Subjugglators following close behind. They passed more of the Flesharvestors, all being teal as far as Gamzee could tell with limbless psionics strapped to their backs, but none of the Flesharvestors paid them any mind as they walked passed, too intent on their respective tasks.

"It took quite som' time, but my four-ago predecessor successfully petitioned the luminous and lustrous Condesce into tweakin' how some of Conscription occurred," the Silk Master was saying, "Use ta be cripples got culled right away and for good reason, yeah? But moltin' brings back missin' limbs and whatnot, so we says, why can't we take them here cripples and use 'em for silk? Might as well get somethin' from their useless hides instead of soaking the Rainbow Fields.

"Of course, we gotta do them at a specific time- do it too early, and you don't get enough silk and the body inside ain't gonna feed anyone much, but leave it too late and the silk is tougher, less yielding while the troll inside is full of bones we gotta pick out which is fuckin' annoying. Like, on this planet side we do got bone processin' plants and the like, but this here is the silkworks- gotta focus on silk, you know?"

"Ah, here! This one is ready and one ta next to it is boilin' and done, come here and see," the Silk Master turned to them with a broad grin, stopping before two vast tubs of elevated boiling water. One had a massive red cocoon over eight feet tall suspended over it, while the one next to it didn't but Gamzee could see through the translucent glass hugging the tub the cocoon for that one had already been submerged.

_Eek,_ Jane made a disgusted noise next to him, wearing red Godtier robes stained in her blood, _This is all fairly morbid, isn't it?_ Gamzee gave her a confused look, and she nodded towards the massive tank the rustblooded cocoons, saying, _Boiling those trolls alive- it seems cruel, doesn't it? You remember the heat from LOFAF, and that lava. And now they're boiling trolls alive. It's morbid, isn't it?_

It was framed as a question and Gamzee frowned; it seemed less painful than being beaten to death, didn't it? He was fairly sure trolls couldn't feel anything within their molting cocoon and from the expression of puzzlement on Jane's face she was also unsure. Even as they watched, the Silk Master gestured to a teal standing by the tub and she obediently activated the limbless yellowblood on her back, using its psionics to lift up the rustblood cocoon and gently submerge it into the boiling water with a _hisssss._

Gamzee watched as the cocoon disappeared into the water, no doubt killing whoever had been inside. He asked aloud, "What you do with them lowbloods before they get a roasting?"

The Silk Master beamed at him, "Good question! We make sure to keep 'em extremely well fed and maintained up 'till they go into their molts- we want them to be in fat, optimal condition 'fore they go into the vats! Sick and underfed trolls make for bad silk, so we've found!"

"But here, the one next is ready- she was one of the first to molt and thus one of th' first to be silk! Such an honor! Juanie, hoist her out will you?" 

The teal nodded and used her psionic again, this time aimed on the already submerged cocoon. They watched avidly as she very gently lifted the cocoon from the vat of water, barely sloshing the boiling fluid, and carefully levitated it over to a stand built into the computer network next to the tub and keeping the cocoon a few feet from the metal flooring. 

"After that, we just gotta clean it off a lil' bit," the Silk Master told them as he pulled some kind of strange brush from his sylladex, "Clean some gunk off that build up from the outside, just as a natural process- you can still spin it but obviously it isn't as much," he said even as he started to carefully brush the cocoon. It was even bigger than he was, so it took him some time and Gamzee focused on the strange cocoon as the Silk Master worked it over with his brush; whatever had been inside had been large but now whoever it was was dead, and going to be turned into clothing.

He glanced at Jane but was confused to find she'd vanished. Next to him Koiboi seemed entranced however, wide watery eyes fixed on the Silk Master as he worked.

"There! Gunk off, nice and clean!" the Silk Master tossed the brush back into his sylladex and faced them with a grin, "Now all you have ta do is find true, unbroken thread that ties all this up! Once you do, you just snag it up to this here reel and it'll unspool the whole cocoon! There are different methods, obvious, but this one is most efficient."

The Silk Master paused, eyeing the cocoon for a moment before he visibly brightened, "Ah, I've been doing this so long I need naught but a glance! Here we go-" he had to clamber up onto the console to reach the top of cocoon but he reached up and fit a thin needle-like object at the top of cocoon from where it was suspended and then he hopped down and ta[[ed a few keys on the console. With a slow hum the machine idled for a few seconds before it began to move, slowly but steadily unraveling the cocoon. The silk got fed up through the machine above but Gamzee was more transfixed as the cocoon was slowly unraveled and they began to see the partially molted remains of the rustblood within.

The thing that slid out of the slowly unspinning cocoon could hardly be described as a troll, instead moreso resembling a red hunk of unrecognizable flesh. He sniffed, smelling roasted nuts and....something else he couldn't rightly place. With a squelch the roasted troll fell onto the bowl beneath its stand, even as the rest of the thread was sucked upwards.

"Now the silk goes to be processed, but this here is for you! Roasted unmolted troll is quite a good snack, here, try some!"

Lothri immensely bounded forward, a long skinning knife in hand and she cheerfully began to carve up the troll remains. The Silk Master continued to natter on about the properties of troll silk, how it was spun and dyed and woven into clothing; he even mentioned that while it _could_ be dyed, obviously the silk better coloured when using the same blood colour as the troll the silk was spun from. Lothri gave them chunks of the roasted troll even as the Silk Master piped up just how _facinating_ it was how different cocoons would react to water temperature and how if it was even off a degree by one it could sour the meat and kink the silk.

Then Lothri was offering him a decent sized chunk of the troll and he hesitated before accepting the slice of troll and cautiously ate it; it tasted smoky and as the Silk Master said before it was without bone. It was strange, neither good nor bad but certainly not the worse thing he'd ever eaten so after the first bite he snapped it down without further issue. Jane's words about it being morbid rose up in this thinkpan but that was just as quickly pressed down by earlier comments by Abutor; it was just the way things where, wasn't it? He didn't intend any harm to the already dead rustblood, so it didn't seem relevant to him.

The voice of the Silk Master slowly broke through his thoughts and he glanced at the stout cobalt as he said, "-and while I would love ta show you lot the other facilities, I know you lil' ones are busy busy! But here, I've got some pamphlets and sites you can look up later and learn more about silk spinning and I hope some of y'all are interested! I was speakin' truth when I say you clownies are singular rag rippers- there's a reason why your Authority has one!" 

While Gamzee wasn't interested that much he knew Koiboi was and the troll, when Gamzee glanced at him, seemed too shy to take the Silk Master up on his offer so when the cobalt offered his pamphlets Gamzee accepted several. When they were walking back to the ship, he gave them to Koiboi who seemed surprised by the gesture but nonetheless accepted them.

Gamzee nudged Koiboi who was looking over the pamphlets, keeping the gesture gentle as he said, "Oi, figure you could get your rag ripper on, bet you would be good eh? Should send the Silkie a message and see what he could do."

Koiboi smiled, soft and sweet, "I think I'd like that."

* * *

Barely a month after that incident Gamzee began to feel weirdly tense and achy. His skin started to feel itchy and tight and he ended up scratching his forearms raw with his clawing. Likewise his teeth began to ache, his eyes were near constantly watery and his horns felt sore and loose. It got to the point he was willing to entertain a trip to Abutor Vulnus- since he had little doubt the old Doctorturer would be able to help him with whatever it was. However before he could decide an announcement sounded ship wide, calling all initiates to the main hall and he left his room after a bit of dithering.

He felt more at ease around the mob of young clowns now, smiling and even greeting a few. It felt so nice, to be able to trust them. With a grunt Gamzee settled on the ground, leaning back on an elbow and resisting the urge to claw at the itchy skin of his arms. At the front of the hall were the three High Priestormentors along with Abutor's more diminutive form.

The Doctorturer was the one to speak, clapping his hands together as he exclaimed, "I take it all of you have been feeling a wee tad off the last few days? Yes, that means you are all approaching adult pupation! Isn't that _lovely?_ "

Gamzee felt fairly leery of the whole thing- after seeing the massive silkworks facilities with those hundreds of thousand of lowblood cocoons he wasn't really sure if he actually wanted to pupate. What was to stop someone from stealing him away and boiling him inside his cocoon while he was hapless? He remembered being helpless back in SGRUB and it was a horrible experience he never wanted to repeat. But then, he'd be surrounded by the Church and they'd never harm him.

"Each of you will be given a secure, specific room in order to have your molts- this will make sure you won't be attacked, and you'll be able to transition without outside interference. Of course, all of you will go through molts at different times, some sooner than others, but on average it'll take a month for you to emerge from your cocoons as adults," Abutor continued, "After which you'll be fed and then you will be fully mentally yourself again- since emergence is always followed by base instinct. But after that, we will be re-training you with weapons and general coordination. Molting can be a surreal experience and you will be disoriented as you will have to get used to your new form. But don't worry darlings, we'll help you there. You should all start molting within a few days or even weeks- it can take that long to molt fully, even more and once you do we can start some real training! But make sure to let us know when you notice your skin splitting or even your horns flaking. It means it's close and you need to be assigned a room. So stay sharp, lovelies!"

True to what the Doctorturer said, not even three days later Gamzee noticed a strange split in his skin, like sunsick which was peeling and he managed to track down Gratia in their massive forest-like room. Without hesitation the deaf Priest had immediately rose from where they had been trimming a strange, miniature tree and ushered him from the room. There, they led him downwards, towards the bowels of the ship where the air grew noticeably moist and droplets of water began to cling to Gamzee's face. The humidity reminded him of being on the Condesce's ship, so long ago.

As they walked downwards, Gratia explained, "The wetness helps your skin slick out and it will be...difficult but your body will know what to do. Simply go along with that and you should all be well. Oh, and make sure you remove all clothing and jewelry- keep them in your sylladex if you want but make sure you do not keep them on your person. Otherwise they could...lets just say Abutor has had to perform surgery upon a freshly molted Subjugglator before and we prefer to keep that to a minimum."

Gamzee nodded along with what the deaf Priest was saying, which at least was simple enough he could follow it along easily enough. They passed a dozen doors until reaching one before a corner and Gratia nudged him towards it.

"This will be your room," Gratia's voice was gentle, "You will remake yourself here."

"How will I know?"

"Your body will know. As I said, trust your instincts and all will be well."

Gamzee nodded absently, feeling unduly nervous. It reminded him of the quest beds where they needed to die. However Gamzee never did- Kurloz on the other hand had but the feeling was so muted it was akin to nothing

Gratia's fingers brushed against the scars on his face, feather soft, "These marks will leave as well, as will all other scarring."

He didn't know how to feel about that, "These scars show where I fucked up or got a permanent reminder- seems a bit of a fucked up part to get rid of them."

A brief smile crossed the Priest's face, "Not to fear, you will get new ones. You shouldn't be so eager to gain injuries, however. Cautious is a must, you are cherished. You are all cherished within the Church."

Swallowing past the knot that had suddenly developed in his throat but Gratia pushed him again and he obediently went into the room. It was bare, just a cold steel cube with him inside. However there was a shallow pool of water covering the floor and more dripping from the ceiling. One of the walls was a mirror while the rest were just unyielding metal. The was a bench on the left wall which was covered in food and Gamzee bee-lined for it, suddenly ravenous. He scoffed down several odd fruits and slabs of meat without a second thought and itchiness in his skin started to get worse which made him roll his shoulders irritably.

_Your body will know what to do,_ the words echoed in Gamzee's thinkpan and he decided to heed the words. He shed his clothes without issues, storing them in his sylladex as told. Then he yawned and crawled into a corner and fell asleep.

* * *

He woke a few hours later, groggy and damp. His skin had started to shift even more and Gamzee noticed with some bewilderment a weird green slime was slicking his skin. Almost like the webbing of sopor would form on him when he used to eat it and it would crust around his mouth and fingers. His bones ached and his horns itched and his gums felt swollen. He tried to move but instead groaned, body cramped and stiff so after a brief moment he gave him, remaining in his curled up state. 

_It's alright,_ Jane appeared next to him with a shimmer, clad in her earthy brown Godtier robes, _It must be such a strange experience, your body going through such a radical change. But I'm sure all will be well. Your kind have done this for millions of sweeps, haven't they?_

Gamzee couldn't even talk properly, simply given a low groan in response and the girl crouched down and started patting his damp hair. Her touch was nonresistant but he fancied he could feel the warmth from her hand. Humans had always been so warm, running hotter than even Aradia. Warm and furry actually. Humans had been so fuzzy, with fine hair covering their whole bodies. Trolls only have the thick hair on their heads- otherwise they were hairless. At the moment though his hair was sodden and gross, but it was still extremely dense; all the more to protect their thinkpans and sensitive hornbeds from attacks. Humans were just soft and furry everywhere and Gamzee had greatly enjoyed stroking her skin and feeling the various delicate hair that covered her soft flesh. Her odd human nook even had more of the fur and he always liked it. He found it adorable.

Jane just grew extremely angry and embarrassed when he said as much and shoved him away, which he couldn't particularly understand the reason behind, but he nonetheless stopped saying so. He started giggling, remembering how enraged she'd gotten and stormed off in a huff. For someone smaller than him she had a lot of Rage and he wondered how she would've turned out if she was a Maid of Rage instead of a Maid of Life. She probably would've gotten into a fistfight with the Condesce and win. He carried on giggling at the mental images that swarmed into his thinkpan even as the jostling caused pain to flare up along his body.

_Goodness, can you stop thinking about that?_ Jane said irritably, _Your skin is trying to split inside out and you're still mooning over me and thinking odd things...that's sweet. I guess I'm a comfort._

Gamzee peered up at her; even his eyes ached and her features were strangely blurry as if he was forgetting how precisely looked like. Or maybe it was the pain in his head talking. He wondered if humans molted; he knew some of them when adults grew facial fur- including that one human Jane had a flushcrush on, Ron Swanson which she kept posters of in her room -but she just laughed when he asked her if she'd get the face fur and then brought out something called a fake mustache and started wearing it around with him. She even gave him one which he regrettably didn't take with him since she seemed to enjoy it so much when he did wear it. 

_I think you're getting delirious,_ Jane said dryly. Gamzee could barely even look at her, he felt so tired. With a grunt his gaze slid downwards and he blinked, noting the weird slime that was oozing from his grubscars and slowly coating his sides with the odd goo. He wondered what it tasted like.

_Just go to sleep._

With those soothing words in mind, he did just that.

* * *

The next time Gamzee woke up it was barely in a comprehensive state and all that he was aware of was the suddenly overriding need to get out of the suddenly darkness, of the delicate cocoon that had somehow grown around his body, fully encasing it, in the time he'd been unconscious. It was difficult as he suddenly lacked claws and his mouth was just gum with no teeth so after a brief moment he lowered his head and gored at the thin membrane of the cocoon until the tips of his horns successfully punctured the skin and with a dry noise it tore open.

Grunting, Gamzee shoved his bulk through the opening, shredding the cocoon further until he sprawled onto the wet floor, stunned and suddenly sucking in deep breaths of air. After a brief dazed moment he carefully settled until he was kneeling in the water, tongue lolling along his mouth; he had no teeth and when he groggily glanced down at his hands he likewise lacked talons of any sort. His skin had also changed, shifting from slate grey to pitch black and his limbs were too long and hands and feet too big. However he felt weak, so overwhelmingly weak so he simply curled up until his horns were resting on the floor and went back to sleep.

* * *

The next time he woke up coherent, with a mouth full of teeth and claws digging into the dense skin and he blinked slowly before yawning. Cautious, he tongued his fangs and found his gums still sensitive; also his teeth were small, like they were still slowly replacing themselves back to their full size. He'd lost a few teeth back within SGRUB so he knew it would take a few days to fully grow in. How long had he been sleeping?

"Eurgh," his voice was an irritated grunt and with slow moments he went to stand up and immediately toppled over, suddenly so badly off balance. What was _wrong_ with him?

The answer was easily questioned when he looked over at the mirror covering one wall and stared, suddenly noticing how massive his horns had grown- how massive _he_ had grown. His horns used to simply be one wave but now they stretched up from his skull and arched upwards in wavy spikes. His skin was pitch black and his whole form has grown drastically, even if his limbs were overly thin and oddly slender despite their new size, no doubt waiting to be bulked up with time. 

Gamzee crawled over to the mirror, claws scratching the floor and water sloshing against him before he halted a few inches from it, staring intently at his reflection. His face was broader, with features heavy. Most obvious change however was his eyes, with his usually black iris now filled with in vibrant purple that matched his blood, stark against the soft yellow of his sclera. His ears had likewise grown tiny tines along the underside along which stretched thin purple fins. However this close to the mirror he also noticed three very familiar scars crossing his face- the same marks Nepeta's claws had inflicted on him so long ago. Curious, Gamzee ran the pad of a finger along the upper most scar, shuddering at how sensitive everything felt. But Gratia's words came back to him- if his whole body was to be renewed, why did those scars remain?

He rubbed at his forearm and noticed the long slices the Nocturne's claws had ripped into his flesh had vanished, as had the odd Hope-like scar tissue that had been upon the palm of his hand. After a quick check, he could confirm every scar on his body had vanished, apart from the ones upon his face. After a longer moment of study Gamzee shrugged it off; wasn't like the scars bothered him that much.

With a grunt Gamzee started to stand up again, this time trying to be as slow as possible. His sense of balance was completely askew and he nearly tripped over again. His breath was rather light and disorientated but after some fumbling he managed to stagger over to the bench. It had been replenished since he lost conscious earlier and he eagerly dug into the food; his still-growing teeth ached but he ignored it, instead chomping down everything he could get his claws on. This time he managed to eat everything left out and some of the uncomfortable shifting in his new body settled down with more food being introduced.

After finishing down the food he began to inspect the room, using it as a means to slowly get his balance back. After some fumbling he found the switch for a wardrobfier, something which he'd completely missed the first time he came into the room. Fairly understandable considering how distracted he'd been when he first came into the room but now he was grateful for it. He just ended up clothing himself in generic pants and a black shirt, though naturally emblazoned with his symbol. At least that dealt with the nakedness issue, though his skin still felt oddly sensitive which he guessed was from the molt and it would be fine once it hardened properly or something along those lines.

Out of curiosity he ejected his clothes from before and was bemused as to how small they were; how big _was_ he now? The clothing he pulled out looked akin as if it would fit his Cherubs back when they were wigglers. Weirdly enough however his Bard and Prince outfit still fit perfectly, regardless of his suddenly size difference. He put them back in his sylladex after a moment, knowing that even if he threw them away they'd just magically end back up there after a brief while.

After he spent some more time searching the room but had to concede there was nothing else for him, he'd gained most of his balance back as long as he moved slowly. Getting back into fighting shape would take a bit of practice but Gamzee wasn't worried, as he doubted the Priests would just throw them back into it. They'd probably get some more training from Lucile, since she had said as much in her various training sessions with them.

With slow movements he went to the door and left the room, peering out into the hallway but seeing no one. With wobbly steps he left the room, rather relieved to know that the doorways on the ship by default were massive so he didn't have to worry about banging his horns on them though he peered up worriedly as he walked, a hand pressed against the wall to prevent himself from falling over. Even the soles of his feet felt weird.

"Oh!" the soft noise from behind caused Gamzee to jump and he yelped as he accidentally scraped the side of a horn against the wall.

"Ah, my apologies, I didn't intend to startle you," Koiboi blinked up at him and Gamzee stared back, disorientated from looking down on the other troll so much.

He peered curiously at Koiboi, noting he had also fully gone through his adult molt which left his skin black and horns jutting up in sharp points. His eyes had filled in with his blood colour and like Gamzee's own his pointed ears were edged in tiny fins. And like Gamzee he was wearing basic clothing and as always had bare feet. His hair was shorter now, only reaching past his shoulder blades but Gamzee guessed that was because his hair didn't keep up with his body growth, much like his own.

Despite his own mold, Koiboi was still quite shorter than Gamzee and the Bard had to wonder just how large he'd gotten when they'd been around the same height before the molt. Though the other troll was still recognizable it was fascinating to see such a change and upon noticing his scrutiny Koiboi immediately diverted his gaze, staring off at the floor. 

"Yeah it's fine, just uh, just woke up," Gamzee said, running a hand through his hair and then grimacing at how knotted it was, "Kinda weird. Don't remember shit."

"That makes sense- you were one of the first to go into your molt and one of the last to get out of. Considering your new...stature, it makes sense why you took so long. But as like you, I don't remember after I slept and then woke up, unaware of the transition of the time. Fascinating," despite his words, Koiboi continued to keep his gaze focused on Gamzee's shoulder and he bit his lip.

Gamzee still remembered back in SGRUB and even as Kurloz how other trolls would avoid eye contact out of fear of him, or his psychics while as the Prince and it bothered him that Koiboi would be afraid of him even after all that time spend with one another so he finally said, "Ain't gonna hurt you bro, no point in lettin' them gander bulbs slid off like I'm gonna, you know?"

"No no," Koiboi was quick to reassure him, looking fairly surprises, "It's not like that. I just have...difficulties looking people in the eyes. The wrinkles around them, how many eye lashes they have, the veins within their eyes- it distracts me and I cannot speak or remember what I was talking about if I do so. Thus I do not. It doesn't mean I'm frightened of you, it just makes me more comfortable...not to."

"Oh okay," Gamzee immediately took Koiboi's explanation without issue, inwardly relieved he finally got told _why_ and it wasn't from fear, "Just makin' sure I wasn't bein' a motherfucker and making you uncomfortable or some shit. Glad that ain't the case. You all good?"

"I feel...raw," he admitted after a brief silence.

"Eh, same here. Guess our bodies are still doing shit? Prob be way better in a bit."

"I would hope so."

Gamzee nodded along, tonguing at his teeth again curiously before he nudged Koiboi, "Think we better go find some others, ain't too sure where they at though."

"I think we are some of the last," Koiboi said, "So they should-"

"Ah, there you lot are," Occhio's voice snapped out and making both of them tense, "About time you two got the fuck out of your cocoons- only a few left and I'm pretty fuckin' sure they're just dragging that shit out so they don't have to work."

"Uh yeah," Gamzee just nodded along, so disorientated at looking _down_ on the Priestormentor. Occhio sniffed, long forked tongue flickering from between his lips before his brow furrowed. However he didn't say anything so after a beat of silence Gamzee said, "What we gonna do with our skin leavings? Just uh, leave 'em?"

"Nah, we donate them to the Silk Master, or if you want you can keep 'em, DIY your own silk."

"I kept mine," Koiboi mumbled behind Gamzee. He wasn't sure if Occhio heard as the troll ignored it.

"Anyway, it should take about an hour before everything settles. Then it'll also take a bit to get used to your adult bodies so be prepared to fall over a lot, especially _you_ ," he emphasized that by smacking Gamzee's shin with his cane, causing the Bard to hop backwards, "Look at how fuckin' big you got! Completely overboard just like your motherfuckin' Ancestor I swear. Fuckin' idiots..." still grumbling under his breath, Occhio shoved past the two of them and stalked off down the hallway, no doubt going to check up on those still left.

Gamzee and Koiboi exchanged looks before leaving; it was slow and Gamzee nearly fell over several times and Koiboi tripped up the stairs as they struggled to adapt to their new bodies. Eventually they ended up in one of the kitchens and everything that used to seem huge now seemed almost small. Koiboi struggled to use any of appliances and Gamzee accidentally cracked the tabletop when he knocked into it but they eventually managed to make a meal. Partially burnt but Gamzee had eaten worse and it helped them practice using eating utensils again with their now larger hands. Gamzee gave up after quite a few failed attempts and eat it down with his hands while Koiboi feared far better, most likely due to using needles his whole life.

Part way through Gamzee was aware Hestia had appeared in the room and he paused with a mouthful of food stuffed in his maw, eyeing her from where she was standing in the doorway. She'd grown tall but had sapling thin limbs like the rest of them, however the most obvious change was the fact she now had both eyes; her left had been restored, yellow sclera and purple pupil. For a moment she did nothing before she gingerly approached them.

Gamzee spoke through a mouthful of strange meat, "How you doin', sis?"

Hestia remained quiet and Gamzee noted with interest how her left eye didn't seem to be able to focus on anything, instead just staring off to the side while her right remained fixed on them. He wondered 

Then she finally said, "You two took a while. And you still have ya facial scars."

"Busy gettin' my 'coon on. Gotta sleep through that or ain't gonna...uh...gonna..." Gamzee trailed off, unable to remember what he'd been thinking about. With a huff he stuffed the rest of the burnt meat and swallowed it down before raising to his feet. Hestia blinked, craning her head back to look at him before shooting an accusatory glare at Koiboi, who'd also risen and was in the process of gathering up his plate.

There was a long silence, and then Hestia spoke, "You're both taller than me and this is bullshit."

* * *

It was barely a week past Gamzee's molt, which still left him feeling raw and unsettled, when Occhio announced they would start 'integrating' the newbies. Since even though they had passed their molt, as the Priestormentor explained, doesn't mean they were ready to take on all their monumental tasks within the Empire. Because of this the newly molted adults would be accompanying older Church members, introducing them to different branches and castes in the Empire as well as being given small supervised jobs and activities to help familiarize themselves and ready them for the upcoming initiation tests which were rapidly looming.

"Also think about your career options," Occhio began finishing up his speech, "There are many you can pursue in the Church-such as a Doctorturer, a Laughassassin, a Priestormentor, or a Scienterrorist, other shit we've already talked to you about.."

The initiates ended up getting split into groups of three with two long-term Church members chaperoning them. Gamzee wasn't going to complain as he got paired with Koiboi and Hestia, who he knew the most out of the other newbies. It was also fairly comforting to see Hestia trip over numerous times as she struggled to adapt to her new horn and leg length while Koiboi seemed the quickest of the three to assimilate with his new size. 

Gamzee moreso just had billions of sweeps of memories as an adolescent due to Kurloz's influence, which was further proven when he went to get up to follow the group and promptly fell over. Quickly he staggered back to his feet and lumbered after the four waiting clowns and Hestia grinned at him. After that it was a flurry of ships and walking, the younger trolls getting rapidly sidetracked by all the new sights as the elder trolls shepherded them around. Eventually they wound up on one of the alien planets the Empire had conquered, turning it into a gigantic sprawling city that spanned half the planet. Gamzee huffed in the air, relishing the change from the stagnate spaceship air to the fresh breeze planetside. The city was swarming with thousands of trolls of all castes and above them all were hundreds of gigantic screens, all showing an advertisement for some kind of game show.

The skies reminded him of the Serket's Game planet, a beautiful gold with swirling yellow clouds that left the numerous metal buildings bathed in a warm inviting light. The hum of voices, machinery and television hovered over the other ambient sounds of life and Gamzee inhaled; the air smelled wet and tinged with blood and sweets.

He liked this planet, Gamzee decided.

"Now then," said the older female Priestormentor guiding them, a lithe female with her hair done up in several purple-tinted braids, "We brought you lot here so you can meet a prominent member of th' Church."

"He must be a camera-oinkbeast," Hestia said loftily. Despite her tone she had as much wide-eyed amazement as the other initiates, even if her left eye still slid off to the side.

The adult laughed, "I supposed y'all could call 'em that," her gaze slid way from the group and she visibly brightened, waving to someone in the distance as she exclaimed, "Oh, here he is now! Punctual as ever."

A duo were approaching, making a beeline towards the group. Gamzee perked up, easily able to see over the heads of the group. He instantly noticed the Subjugglator facepaint on the lead troll, but the rest of him baffled Gamzee. He was wearing a black suit but instead of being edged in purple, it was tinted in bright blue. Gamzee blinked, his eyes flicking back up to the newcomers face and instantly noticing his pupils were also blue, the colour stark against his white and grey facepaint. The new clown was a blueblood. Judging by the muttering and confusion fogging Hestia's mind next to him she was likewise confused; Koiboi simply radiated curiosity. There was something extremely familiar about the troll, but as the blueblooded clown strolled towards the group, Gamzee's eyes slid towards his companion. 

The female following the blueblood at two paces was quite short, with full hips and narrow shoulders and missing her right arm. She was scantily clad with combat boots, extremely short shorts, fishnet stockings and a flimsy looking bra. Her attire just made the dozens of scars littering her body even more apparent, with them circling her arms, wrist and thighs. The most obvious one was the long vivisection scar, stretching from either shoulder and down her chest before halting at her pelvis. More scars were etched onto her face, two stretching from either corner of her full mouth like a mockery of a smile and another one circling her brow. Her hair was luscious and long, with her bangs curling on either side of her face and the rest falling down her back in a smooth waterfall before ending in thick curls. A hat was fixed on top of her head, and two long horns jutted out of either side, the angular shape reminding Gamzee of a diamond. The most striking thing about her however was her skin, which was stark white and emitting a soft luminescent glow.

She was a Rainbow Drinker.

Gamzee stared in shock, his confusion over the clown's bloodcaste being shunted aside to make room for the female. Gamzee had never seen a jadeblood aside from the Maryam's and as far as he knew Kanaya stayed with Karkat and left for the rebellion. Jadeblood's were perhaps the rarest caste after tyrian. 

"Good evening!" the powerful brass voice of the blueblood commanded his attention and Gamzee snapped his eyes back to the strange non-purple Church member. He greeted their chaperon warmly, wrapping her up in a friendly hug which she easily reciprocated. The jadeblood halted a few feet behind, her scarred lips curved up in a smile. Stepping back from the hug, the blueblood gave the rest of them a glowing smile; Gamzee reckoned his teeth were as white as the Rainbow Drinker's skin and even the lighting made it seem like they kinda were luminescent.

"Forgive me, I have forgotten to introduce myself! I am Lovett Eureka!" The blueblood gave them a flourish elegant bow, the tails of his coat swirling around him.

The Rainbow Drinker's smile widened, showing her long fangs before she gave them a cheery wave with her remaining hand, "Heya! I'm Candeo Captus and I'm the guide to Eureka's wondrous game show!"

Hestia's short scream of excitement nearly deafened Gamzee, causing him to flinch away, "Oh shit, I _thought_ you were a recognizable motherfucker! I watch your show alla time!"

Eureka beamed in delight, clasping his hands together, "Ah, you've seen it before? It's the Chaos Quadrant Conundrum!"

Hestia ended up becoming fairly incoherent with excitement after that, all but flinging herself at Eureka who caught her with a laugh. The two then started to babble at one another while many of the other Subjugglators looked on in amusement.

So _that's_ why he seemed familiar. He knew Hestia watched that show fairly avidly but Gamzee himself wasn't that interested. Death never appealed to him that much, even if personally he'd gone through it more than enough.

_Well, you remember Karell's lesson, don't you?_ Jane suddenly said to him and he jerked back slightly; he hadn't seen her in a while and was caught off guard by her sudden appearance, _He mentioned off-caste Subjugglators before. They're rare, but they exist._ He just grunted in response.

Gamzee shifted directed his attention to the Rainbow Drinker, who was still smiling obediently at the side. Her demeanor didn't change at his approach, even though he easily towered over her with his new height. The top arch of her diamond shaped horns barely even reached his sternum. Maybe jades were just small? It would make sense, since they lived underground for their whole lives. At least most did.

He nodded at her, "So you Candeo, eh?"

She turned to him, smile still fixed in place. The heavy scars stretching from the corner of her lips made it seem like her entire face was about to gape open. Gamzee hummed, before reaching out with his psychics and easily enveloping the jade's mind with his own. Oddly enough, her mind felt strangely empty and it felt as if there were thick gouges within it, just random lines of nothing as if something had been forcibly torn from her mind. It was clean work, whatever it was, and Candeo still had the majority of her mental facilities. It was just as if someone had taken an excruciating amount of time to surgically remove parts of her mind- parts of _her_ -while making sure the jade didn't become an emotionless husk. Despite the tears, the cuts within her mind there were still rays of sunlight streaming through the churned up mindscape. Genuine happiness and friendliness, despite the obvious torment and torture she'd gone through, both physical and mental.

"You're one sunny side up sis," Gamzee told her.

Candeo's smile became less pained and shifted into one genuine that somehow made her even more radiant, "Thank you. You're wonderful as well. So large!"

"Eh, some doorways are a pain in the fuckin' ass now," he said and she laughed, a breathy laugh intermingled with snorts.

"Still gettin' used to it," Gamzee continued, "Gotta learn how to fight and everythin' all over again 'cause my body ain't giving a fuck."

"But what with you? Body art being in scars," he said.

Candeo's smile became more brittle and she gestured towards her missing arm, long thick hair swinging behind her, "Sometimes mistakes happen, and us jadebloods are rare! So obviously a few Doctorturers wanted to see what made one of my kind tick so they sliced me open but stitched me back up, before wonderful Eureka brought me. Or was gifted me, as it were."

"As long as you're having a grand time, sun sis."

The look Candeo gave him was nothing less than baffled and Gamzee got the weird impression she wasn't used to people being nice to her. Why wouldn't they? Before he could think on it further, the crowd around Eureka began to move and Candeo obediently hurried after them, Gamzee following.

* * *

"Hey Gamz? Can I talk to you?"

Gamzee looked up from where he was sprawled on the couch to see Hestia in the doorway of the common room kitchen. He shrugged and beckoned her and the other clown tottered forward until she slumped on the couch next to him. It was interesting to see their bodily comparisons; after their molts the Priest's made sure they were all well fed so Gamzee's limbs were bulking out, thick, dense muscle building up on his limbs. Hestia was more slight, with long limbs and ropy, more sinewy muscles. Then again, he was fairly big compared to everyone but even Koiboi had more density to his body than Hestia, and that clown was almost all curves.

Hestia scratched at her stomach, plump lips pursing into a frown. He nudged her slightly, saying, "Oi, you worried about them initiations? Ain't gotta be, them Priests been school feedin' us something fierce for that shit." 

She shrugged him off, "Nah, it's about my eye."

"Eh?"

She pointed to her left; like before, it didn't seem to be able to focus, instead staring off in a vague direction. It was a little bit strange to see her flesh eye rather than a jewel but Gamzee wasn't sure what the problem was.

"Ain't you happy it grew back?"

"No," she answered frankly, frown deepening "I don't like this shit. I can't focus and it...it itches for some motherfuckin' reason? It feels wrong and I dunno why- keep on thinking of scratching it out. Ain't right to have it, you know?"

The Bard thought about that for a minute, studying Hestia's round face carefully. The white paint didn't disguise the small, fresh scratch marks around her eye socket, as if she'd started to scratch at it. Why he was unsure why she was feeling like that, he could tell from her mind the whole situation was in fact greatly distressing to her and there was an extremely high chance she'd gouge her eyeball out in frustration soon.

So instead he suggested, "Why don't you ask the needle man?"

She glanced at him curiously and he elaborated, "You know, Vulnus? He's a Doctorturer, so couldn't you ask him? He'd be able to take it out all neat like, make sure you heal up super fast and ain't gonna be blood-sick."

Hestia opened her mouth before shutting it again, seemingly surprised, "You think he'd go for it?"

Gamzee snorted, "You ever been in his room? Lil' motherfuck _loves_ them gander bulbs, so I'm sure if you went up to him and was all 'yo I ain't liking this, you could pop it out for one of your jars' he'd prob did it in the beat of a bloodpusher," he hesitated slightly, remembering all of Abutor's lectures about not harming fellow Church members, and quickly amended with, "Well, long as you tell him straight why you don't want it hanging in that head anymore. He's all about that shit and ain't he even brand his symbol on 'em? Sure he'd be understandin' if you go get your noise on with him."

Leaning forward Hestia propped her chin in her hand, brow furrowed as she thought over his words. He didn't interrupt her, instead started to pick at his long teeth with a talon before inspecting his glossy claws. A pair of lips pressing against his cheek and Hestia flashed him a toothy grin before she was up and out of the room in a blur of black and purple.

* * *

The next time he saw Hestia it was nearly three days later and her left eye had been replaced with its usual gleaming cobalt gem.

* * *

The weeks leading up to initiation was a blur of activity and Lucile pushed them hard to master their new forms. She made them fight each other on planks of wood balanced on orbs, spar with each other on ice and even in an anti-gravity chamber. Gamzee found it difficult at first considering just how large he was- smaller trolls like Hestia could duck around him and stab him in the back far more quickly, as he was a much bigger target. Lucile suggested he try growing his hair out, as she pointed out having it long would aid in protecting his spine and vulnerable spots. After a moment- and remembering how his Ancestor looked like -Gamzee decided to do just that. Alternia Kurloz kept his hair short and Gamzee was already tired of having people gush about how much Gamzee resembled him.

After all, weren't Descendants _supposed_ to look like their Ancestors anyway? He knew they all resembled the Dancestors yet for some reason many of the Priests in the Church seemed to feel the need to remind him of how much he looked like Kurloz. Some, like Gratia, didn't say anything about it to which Gamzee was grateful. Neither did Occhio but it seemed a moot point as he was blind.

But as it was Lucile taught them until she was satisfied with their forms and reactions, pointing out that what was left was typically left up to experience.

_'Time will tell if you succeed or die!'_ she had said cheerfully, _'But hey, you passed the physically fighting test of your initiation!'_

Gamzee's confusion had been mirrored on the expressions of many others, as they had been unaware they were even being tested. But after some thought Gamzee guessed it made sense; some tests were longer than others, and Lucile had been focused on teaching them how to fight and seeing how they improved. Obviously it wouldn't make sense for her to test them in one bout, since that would only give her a brief glance into the abilities they had. 

Their next test was with Occhio Mutare, and the blind Priestormentor had apparently acquired slaves to be used as test subjects. They went through all bloodcaste barring jade, purple and tyrian for obvious reasons and Occhio told them bluntly he wanted to see the extent of their powers, mostly through mental manipulation upon the slaves. There was some confusion with that, as Occhio hadn't really done anything new with their psychics after the adult molt; as Occhio had pointed out, chucklevoodoos relied upon their mental prowess- molting had nothing to do with that as it was a physical transformation.

But the test on the slaves was interesting, but he had Kurloz's millenniums worth of memories and mental prowess at his beck and call- the Prince had no issues rewriting and rearranging memories of his companions, even his ex-matesprit whom he had still cared for. So it was wigglers play to do so on the slaves, even if they had deeper minds and brighter thoughts than any of the trolls Kurloz encountered. 

Gamzee passed every chucklevoodoo test with flying colours.

The look Occhio gave him was strange- or at least gave in his vague direction. The blind Priest put his hands on his hips and told him he passed with higher skills than any initiate had in the past. For some reason, it didn't feel like a compliment but before he could ask about it Hestia was climbing him like a tree and praising him while bragging about her own passed test which distracted the Bard long enough for Occhio to storm away.

The last one was upon faith. True to his nature, Gamzee loved his Messiahs and as such he passed- he knew all tenants, knew of the faith and would die for them if need be. He had done so before and would do so again without hesitation.

By the end of the week every initiate taken off Alternia in Conscription had officially become a full member of the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs.

* * *

It was the next night that Gamzee met the oldest Subjugglator in the Church. It was actual coincidence that had him meet the ancient troll and it was brought about by boredom. It was one of their free days after the hectic initiation trials, where they were left to their own devices and Gamzee spent most of his day eating or watching shows. He wasted some more time on his husktop and then climped into his 'coon in an attempt to sleep. When that also failed he grumpily dragged himself up and cleaned off the sopor before leaving his room. While he'd been annoyed when he first arrived on the ship as to how large it was, he now realized they had been built so to accommodate them as adults.

At this point he was more familiar with the vast corridors of the Subjugglator ship but the vessel itself was essentially a giant city and he doubted he'd ever find out everything on the ship for quite a few sweeps. So he spent some time exploring, find some training grounds, several more kitchens and a massive room that resembled a forest which is was fairly sure was Gratia's doing. He also met numerous more clowns and spoke with several of them- including getting hugs and kisses of congratulations from fellow freshly passed youngsters -before continuing to wander around the ship.

Eventually he came across two massive doors with a strange yellow symbol stamped across it. On impulse he easily pushed open the door and peered inside; it was a massive hall with the walls decorated in colossal pictures of past Subjugglators and at the far end the entire wall was covered in the long purple tentacles of a databoard and even from so far away he could see the form of a psionic strung up amongst the fleshy tendrils. There was also a troll standing near the Lowblood, seemingly staring aimlessly at the wall.

Carefully Gamzee slipped into the room and made his way down to the end, stepping in the many puddles littering the metal floor. The air smelled clean and wet, with just the very faint undertint of ozone and blood. 

The other Subjugglator looked up at Gamzee's quiet approach and smiled; Gamzee peered at him in avid interest, noting that despite the troll being over eleven feet tall his back was bowed with age and even through his white facepaint Gamzee could see deep lines marring his features. His hair was thick and wavy, hanging down to his waist yet what really caught Gamzee's attention was the numerous white strands threaded through the black; the greatest sign of age Gamzee had ever seen with a troll. 

"Greetings, Gamzee," the adult dipped his head, his horns reminding Gamzee of how Aradia's used to be with small, graceful curves. The Subjugglator was leaning heavily on a staff that was taller than himself and hanging from the end was a bleached troll's skull lit from within by a purple candle- one who perfectly matched the old clown, with identical spiral horns. 

"You know me?"

"Everyone knows you. Or _of_ you, more accurately."

"'Cause of my Ancestor," Gamzee said. His voice was lax and without bitterness but the ancient Subjugglator smiled sympathetically in response nonetheless.

"You must excuse our enthusiasm," he replied, "Kurloz was greatly loved by many within the Church and is missed dearly. You resemble him greatly, so it is little wonder many get...confused by you or believe he may have come through you."

Gamzee shrugged, "Just kinda annoying is all, judging me for shit I ain't doing just 'cause a dead troll looks like me."

"True, in many cases our lives are defined by our Ancestors- or even our Descendants," the old troll looked at the skull dangling from his staff with a sorrowful expression, reaching up to lightly tap on the bleached jawbone before continuing with, "Blood is important for our race, so those who come from our own are equally important and precious."

With a soft huff Gamzee looked away from the old troll, instead eying the emaciated yellowblood hanging up among the thick fleshy pink tentacles. He studied the yellow's face, her sunken cheekbones and angular chin, short limp hair and long horns with a pronounced bow in the middle which had been partially covered by the tendrils. Many of the strange things were covering her from the waist down and her arms were only visible up to her skinny elbows. More of the tentacles seemed to be wired directly into her thinkpan, sinking into her skull among her damp, tangled hair and twisted around her long horns.

"Such a fragile creature, isn't she? But we rely on her so much, like so many others of her caste," there was an odd note of affection in the old troll's voice. 

"Hm...anyway, what's an old brother like you called?" Gamzee shifted his attention back to the shorter troll. 

"You may call me Priest," the old Subjugglator said, voice slightly wheezy. With a slow movement he gestured to the yellowblood strung up among the purple tendrils behind him, "And this young lady is the Observer."

"...how old are you?"

Priest smiled, showing crocked and yellowed teeth, "Old enough to have seen three Empresses before the Condesce, and neither of those three had short reigns."

"Shit."

The old troll laughed outright at that, soft and wheezing, "You could say that. I would wager I'm the oldest troll in the fleet. I certainly have never met any as old as I am."

"Well I ain't uh..." Gamzee trailed off, unsure of what he was even going to say. He wondered if that meant Priest's mind was as heavy with memory as his own was- his own mental depth felt more artificial than anything, since it was simply a collective of all the Doomed timelines and Kurloz's own eons worth of memories; that still didn't mean Gamzee understood half the things he remembered, even if his mental upheavals had largely settled as the sweeps passed from the end of SGRUB.

The ancient troll gazed at him, then said, "You needn't worry about judgement from me-I've been the counsel for many of the Church before you."

"Eh?"

"If you don't mind me saying, you seem rather troubled."

"Ain't that Abutor's job? Being all pryin' and shit."

"He means well, but he can be a bit..." Priest trailed off, lips pursed before saying carefully, "Opinionated."

"Ha, that's one way to say it."

Priest sighed then, leaning heavily on his staff and making the bleached skull sway to and fro. Gamzee wanted to smooth down the white bone with the palm of his hand, to feel the curves of those small horns along the pads of his fingers. The remaining visages of the dead still fascinated him, even if he knew intellectually the bodies of the dead had no real usefulness anymore due to the lack of kernalsprites. But he appreciated the Church rhetoric of honouring their brethren through keeping their remains. He wished he had something remaining of his Messiahs, or even Jane. He wasn't sure what their bones would be like, however. He wondered how different they were on the inside, considering their superficial differences from trolls were quite pronounced at times.

A withered hand touched Gamzee's elbow and he blinked, looking down into Priest's open features and noting for the fiest time the soft cloudiness in the clown's indigo eyes as he spoke, "You'd be surprised by what I've heard over the thousands of sweeps I've been alive. Please, don't fear any judgement," Priest reiterated gently, "I just feel you are carrying a heavy burden and I am willing to aid you in bearing it."

Gamzee swallowed thickly, feeling the sudden, overwhelming urge to tell the ancient clown everything- about his history, about SGRUB, about his Cherubs.

And so he did.

He felt such unbelievable relief in telling the Priestormentor everything, right from the start involving his sopor addiction, his missing lusus then all the way to knowing Karkat, the different planets they gained, entering the Game and witnessing Alternia dying, of Doc Scratch and Lord English, of Calliope and Caliborn, of the humans and their breaking the Game, of dying and his past lives as Kurloz on a different Alternia ruled by a much different Empress, of the kernalsprites and of the carapacians and consorts, of the aspects and abilities, of his Rage and the fight against the Black King and even to the failure of the clash on the planets where the Condesce died and reality collapsed.

But he exempted his intimate relationship with Jane- a selfish part of him wanted to keep that to himself, to keep it private. So while he mentioned the humans, of an alien race, he kept his personal relationship with one of them out of his tale.

In all it took the better part of an hour to lay out the basics of it all and at the end Gamzee and Priest wound up sitting on the floor, Gamzee leaning against the fleshy wall the Observer hung from and Priest was curled up slightly with his legs tucked up underneath himself and still leaning on his staff. The old clown's facial expression remained attentive, with no mockery or belief showing up the entire time. Being actually paid attention to was still something Gamzee wasn't used to, even after all those sweeps in the Church. Gamzee finished his story on a brief note about the differences in moons, the lack of green of Alternian and the lack of First Guardian and Gl'bgolyb's disappearance before he finally fell silent, suddenly feeling self conscious for laying so much of himself bare. 

"You have led quite the interesting life," Priest finally said, expression thoughtful. He traced the jawbone of the skull swinging from his staff with a ragged clawtip, lips pursed faintly.

Gamzee snorted, "Yeah yeah, guess this is the part where you say I gotta be shipped off and have my thinkpan cracked open and see how fucked it is up on in there."

"No- I believe you are exactly where you need to be," the old troll assured him, "For surely there has been a reason you've gone through all that, much less been witness to the Messiahs themselves, to find yourself in the current situation."

"You...you don't think I'm hiveshit?" Gamzee couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice.

"Hardly; I told you before, I've heard many fantastic tales throughout my lifetime and witnessed extraordinary events myself. And though I admit the life you've lived thus far is quite singular, I have no reason to doubt you."

Gamzee made no comment, instead struggling to understand that the Priest had believed him. Even with himself, hearing everything laid out, the events seem ridiculous.

"It is also obvious from anyone who has met you, you have an...aura about you," Priest's voice grew contemplative, "You seem world weary, which is fascinating for your age and from what you've told me this deals with that fact obviously. And as for you meeting the Messiahs..."

"Could be blasphemous," Gamzee finished bitterly.

Priest gave him a hard look, "Hardly. We are all called into service for the Messiahs for different tasks. Most are just called to serve without cause but others are given far more important and prominent roles. You were chosen- out of the trillions of faithful over untold sweeps, you were chosen from them all. Clearly, you are destined for great things and those are not all coincidences. Fate or chance, some may debate but I would say fate led you here."

"Like what?"

"Well you knowing the Sufferer reborn for one, yet choosing to come to us all the same. You knew of him and you knew of the Messiahs and chose the Church, despite dying at his side so many times. You raised the Messiah's for only one life time, yet died with the Signless reborn so many more."

Gamzee just grunted, not really wanting to think about Karkat. It still hurt, knowing that his 'best friend' never actually liked him at any point.

And one he knew, for a fact, abandoned him countless times in various timelines then twisted it around so _he_ was the problem and Karkat was just the collateral damage. The part of him belonging more to Kurloz was vindictive and did not forgive slights from heathens- the juxtaposition between that and his base mentality for trying to forgive- or at least accept -the past abused from his friends gave him headaches at time and even now thinking about it made him equal parts upset and enraged.

He wasn't sure how he'd react if he'd meet any of his old friends. Ones like Eridan, Aradia and Tavros he was more neutral towards but ones like Karkat, Terezi and Vriska...he was unsure if he would become violent or aggressive. He didn't like violence, or at least Gamzee didn't and while Kurloz had the softness of Beforus he was so much more vindictive and unforgiving. But he was conflicted, remembering when he was serving his Messiah via killing Equius, knowing that the Heir needed to die to create ARquisprite and thus augment the soul of Lord English when he ascended through the Void with Caliborn due to that Alternative Lalonde's misguided attempts to banish him which simply created his Lord in the first place.

After a moment he spoke that to Priest, telling the ancient troll about Lord English's creation and how it was another evolution of a Messiah, but one he was unsure would follow them to the new universe. Or restored universe, he was unsure which.

The conversation shifted from Gamzee telling Priest about _how_ he got to his current situation to how he was unsure how he was supposed to serve. He loved Calliope and Caliborn; adored them as soon as he saw their candy-swirl egg and found a small green slitherbeast burst forth. He would die for them in an instant, and had done on many separate occasions. With Calliope she gave back his affection freely but with Caliborn it wasn't until the Cherub was in adolescence that he stopped injuring the Bard and finally labeled him 'Honk Friend'. It was a difficult path and one immensely lonely at time and being forced to suffer in the dark surrounding by those ignorant or dismissive of his faith. And while he hadn't exactly _like_ Equius, killing him was something he still looked back on in distaste, along with Nepeta who had been unfortunate collateral damage but the Messiah's will had easily overpowered his own and he killed them and would've killed the other 'heathens' when he came across them on top of the meteor if it hadn't been for Karkat shooshing him. 

Who then promptly abandoned him afterwards but that was Gamzee's own fault for trusting him in the first place. Then he met Jane, who was the only one beside Calliope who returned his affection freely and without hooks and he still desperately missed the two.

Then again for most of that his thinkpan had been fried with sopor; it just reminded him of all the times he would spy on everyone during the trip of the Meteor to the new session, of watching that human Rose drink that strange human addictive drink and at how Dave, her strange human egg-mate, utterly ignored her problems. Even that of his other friends; so negligence seemed to be a trait both Knights shared despite the fact they were supposed to be protectors via various speculations of in-Game classes.

He could still remember timelines where not all of them survived the three year trip; he remembered one when he went into the kitchen to discover Terezi dangling from a noose, another where Rose was crumbled at the bottom of a stairwell with her neck broken and surrounded by broken bottles, another with Karkat's throat sliced open from his own sickle and staring glassy-eyed at the ceiling in a pool of crimson. Of the timelines where Kanaya failed to control her Rainbow Drinker bloodlust and would kill herself out of guilt when she regained coherency. Seemed that he wasn't the only one who wanted to die at times, and there were so many timelines where others succeeded.

However it wasn't really his place to criticize. 

Didn't mean he wasn't bitter about it, however.

When Gamzee stopped talking and fell into brooding over all the regrets and perils of the Game, Priest made no effort to interrupt or prod him back into conversation. Instead the ancient troll was waiting patiently, leaning heavily on his staff. Behind him the Observer shifted restlessly in her fleshy restraints, expression becoming pained for a brief moment before settling down to its default neutrality.

Shaking off his blackening thoughts, Gamzee forced an immensely unconvincing smile to his face, "Um but yeah, that's a part of I remember him coming to be...but uh, I'm a lil' confused with his being a Messiah- he ain't really one I guess, not like the other two. I got mixed up for a while 'fore I knew who was who."

After all, he'd been convinced Lord English and Doc Scratch were the Messiahs until he met his Cherubs.

"It's of no issue," Priest said kindly, "We all make mistakes, and sometimes we stumble from our path but that does not mean we should give up trying to find it again."

"Yeah, I guess. Still kinda feel dumb, you know? Until I met the real ones and saw them, got to know them good and see them grow and name themselves before I had to leave them be to their destinies."

Which involved them killing one another. Another failure on his part, even if he knew from the beginning it was preordained.

Priest, like before, bore no judgement upon his face as he gently asked, "You know the Messiah's true names?"

"Yes."

For the first time he looked troubled, a frown deepening the heavy lines of his face, "You know of the tenants, do you not?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, I ain't gonna say their names. They're mine to know- and those who they all wanna tell, but there ain't anyone to listen anymore."

Looking satisfied the tension vanished from the old troll's bent frame, "That is good- their names are forbidden to utter and were lost to the ages for a reason."

Gamzee wondered if Priest knew exactly _why_ Calliope's and Caliborn's names were forbidden to say aloud, but if the old troll wasn't going to pry than he wouldn't either. He'd probably bothered him enough with his earlier word vomit about his entire history. Honestly, Gamzee was lucky that Priest hadn't decided he was completely insane and send him to Re-Education, that horrific reconditioning place Gamzee had heard whispers about. Then again, the Bard guessed it was for traitors, not for people who'd died thousands of times.

Then again, Priest was so old he'd probably seem a lot of messed up things being with the Empire. It just reminded Gamzee of his own adventures post Game, with the unicorn and the Nocturne.

* * *

It was sometime next week that Gamzee caught a rumour spreading through the Church- of an apparent lowblooded troll who was in the rebellion who had wings. Many of his fellow Church members scoffed it off by it caught Gamzee's attention. He knew Aradia kept her wings but was unsure if they would survive through an adult molt. It seemed they had and Gamzee was pleased; if he had to pick a favourite among the trolls he fought alongside in SGRUB it would most likely be Aradia. Both parts of him like the Time player and he was glad she kept her wings.

He hoped she was doing well.

* * *

A trip planetside introduced Gamzee to another alien species; he liked meeting them, mainly just as a way to fuel his own curiosity. They were no longer chaperoned, due to now all being full members of the Church but it was always nice to get off the ship. Occhio did mention there were a few planets that had their own sentient life, but they hadn't found a solar system for a decent invasion for a while the blind old troll had complained. Gamzee didn't mind; he wasn't sure even how to do invasion stuff so if he was allowed to simply roam foreign planets it was fine by him.

This planet was made up of jungles and had heavy humidity and rain, meaning that every time he brushed against a tree or his horns knocked on a branch overhead hundreds of droplets would fall down on him. The air was thick with scents and he could sense various animals flittering at the edge of his senses. Numerous lizards scurried across the mossy tree trunks and above brightly coloured birds flew through the foliage.

In the middle of his foraging he came across a pond, dappled rays of sunlight making the water shimmer. Hundreds of tiny insects buzzed above the surface and it was clear enough he could see the various plants and small fish within. Gamzee huffed, kneeling in front of the pond and gazing at his reflection. It was still fascinating to see his adult features- he was so used to being a wiggler for eons that actual aging was bemusing to him. However he still hadn't decided on what new facepaint he'd get for himself so he carried on wearing the bland, default mask. He didn't mind; he had time.

However as the minutes passed he began to get more and more aware that someone was watching him, but when he tried searching with his mind the multitude of wild life pressing against his senses. Who ever it was apparently was...small.

"What 'cha spying on me for?" He asked loudly. He was quite certain someone was watching him, so either someone would respond or he just spoke to thin air and no one was around to witness it.

For a moment silence answered him beyond the noise of nature then with a _plop!_ the water in front of him rippled as something dropped down from a branch overhead. Gamzee watched, entranced, as a tiny beast swam to the edge of the pond before hopping up on the stones at the lip of it and peering up to him with dark, suspicious eyes.

The creature reminded him of a miniature Bilious Slick, a tiny frog around the size of his thumb. The frog's shiny, moist skin was vibrant red while the legs were a deep blue speckled with black dots. Over her vibrantly coloured body she was wearing a small vest made from woven flax and had a javelin made from a sharpened reed held tight in one hand, with more lashed across her back in a sling made from dried grass.

With a fierce glare on her minuscule face the frog pointed her tiny javelin at him, completely unfazed by their obscene size difference, "Whaddya doing here, sky beast?"

Gamzee was amused, "Sky beast? Ain't got wings, froglet sis."

The tiny beast scowled, her crimson face twisting up into an endearing glare, "No, alla you came from da sky, on them big things which you all spilled outta."

"Oh, they're spaceships. We uh..." he thought intently, trying to figure out how to explain it, "We came from another universe. A um, galaxy? Like up with space and shit," he said, pointing upwards.

The frog blinked, her large black eyes being obscured by scarlet lids for a brief second as she thought his statement over, "So starbeasts?"

Gamzee let out a snort, moving his legs so he was sitting cross legged on the bank of the pond. The frog tensed, webbed fingers tightening around her spear before she realized he was just changing position.

"Yeah, guess you could call us that. But what's up with you, lil froglet sis? Got told this shit was a dull rock, no sentiment species here."

"Bah! Us know betta then ta let you lot know we are thinkin' beasts! Since you ate so many of us! Big dumb starbeasts ain't gonna listen to what anything we gotta say! Stupid! Head full of sky, too stupid!"

"Oh uh, sorry?"

She paused at that, javelin lowering slightly as she frowned as if not expecting his apology. Gamzee couldn't really blame her; if he met a bunch of aliens who kept on eating his friends he'd probably be a bit annoyed and not expecting apologies either. But he, personally, was not interested in getting into a fight with the deminitive frog, so he decided to go with introductions.

"Anyway, this starbeast here is called Gamzee. What's a tiny motherfucker like you named?"

"Anura," she replied without any hesitation, "That's what this one be called."

"Well then Anura, nice to met a lil' froglet motherfucker like yourself," Gamzee said, "Ain't ever met any like you. Well, did meet one but that ain't small like you."

She huffed, the sack underneath her throat inflating with her vexed emotions, "Bah! Alla beast with sense know all life within the belly of one of us! We ain't small, hims large!"

_Is she talking about Bilious Slick?_ Jane asked, appearing on a mossy rock next to him in a swirl of golden Prospit robes. Her features were fading, like slowly melting wax and the details on her dress were seeping away.

Gamzee shrugged, unsure. He remembered the unicorn, with it branding him with Hope, so potentially Anura _could_ be referring to Bilious Slick. Who knew what echoes SGRUB still had upon everything? Gamzee was fascinated and apprehensive in equal measures over it.

He decided to throw caution to the wind and asked the tiny frog directly, "You talkin' 'bout the genesis frog?"

She froze, eyes so wide he was worried they would pop out, "You know of patron?"

"I've seen 'im," Gamzee replied. He wasn't thinking of the sick failure Karkat and Kanaya produced through their thoughtlessness, but rather the healthy one the humans successfull produced. Well, before the trolls failures ruined that per usual.

He continued, "Uh, guess he's also called glorious speaker and um, speaker of the vast croak, beauteous Croak. Other shit like that, yeah?"

Anura nodded, "Not just rocks in starbeast skull, is it? Strange, most as dumb, stupid and dumb."

He laughed at that, causing a few nearby birds to take flight, "Yeah, ain't gonna argue with that. Done lots of dumbshit."

Without any prompting Anura hopped forward until she was settled in the plam of his hand, which was laying on his lap. Gamzee shifted, unsure of what to do; she was so tiny, and he was worried he'd crush her by accident. She was so little, fragile. He could kill her by just making a fist, even if she was armed.

Everyone seemed small now.

The little frog squatted on his palm, the blunt end of her javelin pressing against his palm. He tried sniffing, but she smelled like nothing. It was odd but she could potentially be masking her scent with her little vest. A clear tactic.

"So, skybeast know of hims then why you being stupid? Should tell other skybeasts."

"Nah, got my own messiahs- ain't gonna be with Slick since I got my Cherubs to follow with. Gotta stick to what you want?"

Anura thought about that for a moment before nodding, "Makes sense, but still ain't mean skybeast not stupid. Hims where we live, and you break and eat in it. Not good. Not just for food."

Before he could argue with her he detected a very familiar mind coming towards him and he could hear branches snapping as someone rapidly approached them.

"Oi froglet sis, you better go," he said quietly. She nodded and hopped back into the water even as Hestia came crashing through the underbush, hair wild with vines tangled around her curved horns. Gamzee waved nonchalantly at her and she grinned back at him. When he glanced back into the pond, Anura was gone.

* * *

The next day the flagship touched down on one of the many troll controlled planets in the sector, giving Gamzee a pleasant taste of fresh air and a whole new city to explore. This planet had a honey-coloured sky and soft pink clouds which painted the buildings and roads with a soft, pastel light and the air smelled like syrup. It was interesting and Gamzee spent hours wandering out the massive markets and shops which were selling everything from claw clippers and horn polishers to alien flora and slaves.

Gamzee didn't miss how many trolls avoided him now, with them quickly ducking out of his way and giving him a wide berth as he walked around; it was like he had a aura which no troll wanted to broach. It was weirdly lonely, that despite moving through a sea of trolls he had a space none dared encroach on. 

Well, apart from few fellow Subjugglators who were planetside; they had no issues whatsoever with bumping playfully against him or stopping for a quick chit-chat before going back on their ways. Gamzee couldn't help but beam every time he came across another Church member, the deep feeling of camaraderie making his blood pusher feel warm. It felt nice knowing that even thought he had no idea who these trolls were _personally_ they still cared for him by default because he was one of them and vice versa, to know that he could approach anyone with that iconic facepaint and be welcomed as family.

It helped ease the agitation he felt over the fear and apprehension that he could sense wafting off the other castes when he passed them and the caution that would grip the stall keepers when he spoke them. He guessed his sheer size had something to do with it as well as Gamzee now was looking down at near everyone and had a habit of stumbling around or underestimating the length of his legs, arms or horns. The sheer growth spurt he'd gone through had certainly thrown him for a loop and Gamzee guessed it'd take some time to fully adapt to it despite the extensive training with Lucile.

Gamzee paused, ears perking up as he heard faint clicking in the distance. Curious he followed the sound down the corridor, bare feet barely making a whisper on the ground. Despite his size he was all but silent, slinking through the shadows and curving hallway until he came across an open door, leading into a massive, dimly lit room filled with humming machinery and fleshy synesthetic wires which hung from the ceiling like dull pink snakes.

At the far end was a colossal computer which took up most of the wall and standing at the console tapping at the keyboard with her back to him was a tall tealblood and sitting crosslegged next to her was a yellowblood. Gamzee blinked, noticing the various thin tendrils attached to the yellowblood's wrist and temple which were snaking up into the computer console. Her horns were hooked, her hair fell past her shoulders and she was leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees from where she was sitting. In contrast to her casual posture the teal's body seemed almost tense, back ramrod straight as she typed on the board with a series of sharp _clack clack clack_ s. The computer screen was lit up with thousands of lines of glowing code that Gamzee couldn't make heads or tails of.

Carefully Gamzee reached out with his psychics, pressing his mind up against the two; the teal's mind whirled with agitation and annoyance, while the yellow seemed lax and almost asleep from where she was leaning against the support beam of the keyboard. A few scatters of thoughts and impressions drifted through the teal's mind but the yellow's seemed muted, faded; Gamzee guessed her connection to the machine meant she was only half-way physically in her body which the rest of her mind was within the coding of the computer. Gamzee guessed she was being used as a mobile computer unit, but not the extent the limbless Husks belonging to the Flesharvesters were.

The teal's head jerked up, eyes going wide as her claws screeched against the metal keyboard and leaving faint gouges as she whipped around to face him, an expression of such panic on her face Gamzee automatically glanced over his shoulder, half expecting a monster to be lurking there but was bemused to find nothing. Shrugging it off Gamzee stepped through the doorway and into the room, wrinkling his nose at the weird, coppery scent that settled heavily on his nostrils. At his approach the teal's expression smoothed from panic into a look of welcome; he was well versed in picking up false smiles due to Kurloz's eons of exposure to Horuss but he had to admit the midblood had a good poker face.

There was obvious fear and caution radiating from the mind of the teal regardless of her facial expression and she seemed to be looking everywhere but his face, as if she was worried he'd take offense from eye contact. The yellow sitting next to the console just seemed curious, blinking at him with bright eyes as small flickers of psionics crackled around her like tiny flares of lightning. Now that he was closer, Gamzee could see the fleshy tendrils clinging to her horns and scalp were just draped over her, opposed to fused into her body.

Neither of the two greeted him, beyond the teal giving him a hasty bow so he decided to speak first, asking "Who are you motherfuckers and what 'cha doing in this here place?"

The teal swallowed nervously and her claws were digging into the hem of her shirt but when she answered him her voice was calm, "I'm Buturi Bartah. I'm a scienterrorist but at the moment I'm just fixing the computers here with Yandah- I mean, the psionic is helping me with it. There's been some...uh, glitches we've been sorting out and issues with some faulty coding."

The yellowblood in question raised the hand threaded with the fleshy pink tendrils and gave him a cheery wave and a wink, her blue eye winking out of sight for a brief moment.

Gamzee studied their thoughts, noting the differences in the ebb and flow of their minds. The teal's mind was jittering with apprehension which was in direct contrast with the yellow; the psionic's mind was thick with fascination and amusement and while there was fear, it was so faint he could barely register it.

"Scienterrorist? Is that like...an Inventerrorist?" Gamzee asked. He knew Eureka was one of them and he remembered Lothri speaking about them as one of the potential jobs they could take on but he wasn't really sure which was the right word.

Buturi frowned, her lips pursing slightly, "Well....I mean, it can be a synonym? But we more...work long term, I guess, on things. Or do most of the studying and information gathering- statistics and the like. It can be a bit confusing, but most of the times the term can be interchangeable. Uh, sometimes. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to think," she finished in a rush, a teal blush settling heavily over her features.

He shrugged, "Ain't gonna worry about it- can't science for shit so kinda means the same to me 'cause that thinkpan can't handle it anyway. But what you two ladies doin' here, if there's glitches? That bad shit."

The tealblood shook her head, long braid flicking behind her, "It's not bad, just uh, some issues. It always happens whenever a new psionic is hooked up into the system. A lot of people tend to forget they're trolls and have personalities and sometimes they can be um, difficult..." she trailed off, giving a guilty look at her moirail who simply raised an eyebrow at her. The yellow didn't actually seemed too bothered by what Buturi was saying, seemingly preferring to just carry on looking at him and grinning sporadically.

Buturi's mind was still thick with anxiety and fear; it was painfully obvious she didn't like him being in any kind of proximity to herself or her moirail which was understandable if not annoying for Gamzee. But there was also an odd, negative connection between Subjugglators to a specific one in general and he caught a brief mental picture before it shunted away. He avoided picking at her mind too thoroughly- last thing he wanted to do was fry her thinkpan by accident. Probably meant it would delay the maintenance work being done.

She smiled woodenly at him, especially when he didn't respond, before turning back towards the console and continuing her work though she did it at an awkward angle to keep him within her line of sight. Yandah carried on staring at him with her mismatched eyes from where she was seated on the floor, small cackles of psionics flicking up her hooked horns sporadically.

The yellow grinned at him from her position on the floor, "Ain't much to say beyond 'wow you're one massive drink of water'."

Gamzee titled his head to the side, "And you're kinda small."

"Easier to love."

The teal kicked Yandah in the knee, probably in what she thought was a subtle manner, before smiling back at Gamzee. Watching Buturi's face was fascinating; her expression kept on shifting between polite welcome to indignant outrage as her attention swapped between him and Yandah. Gamzee got the impression he could study her features for quite some time before becoming bored. He wondered how they became moriails.

There was something about the way Yandah smiled then, an almost mocking, smug edge to it that viscerally reminded him of how Terezi used to behave and suddenly Gamzee wanted to grab the yellowblood and do- do something, he wasn't sure -but the sudden spike of murderous intent didn't go unnoticed by the two women as Buturi blanched violently and Yandah's entire body became as tense as a drum, causing the screen to flicker as her psionics instinctively spiked out of reflex.

Abutor's words came back to him but he forced them back- they weren't heretics, not _really_ and he wasn't sure if killing someone just because they remind him of someone he hates would exactly go over well, even if he knew he could get away with it. So instead he snapped, "Fine, leave you ladies to your sciencing."

He tried to keep it amicable, despite snarling the words through bared teeth. Buturi's claws were sinking into the keyboard with an ugly noise but she nonetheless nodded while Yandah continued to stare at him. After a brief moment where he glared at the two, Rage churning in his gut and making bile rise in his throat, he turned and stalked out of the room.

However he did catch Yandah's "What was his problem?" as he stormed out.

The yellowblood did have a point but quite frankly Gamzee had no idea what his problem even was, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

* * *

A week later Gamzee was told he was being summoned to a meeting for the Bloodied Authority from a smiling Eminor. He looked down on her in confusion, fairly sure he'd misread her sign language as he knew- as did everyone in the Church -only members of the Bloodied Authority were permitted in their meetings unless there was a hearing or petition being raised. And Gamzee was relatively certain he hadn't petitioned anything with the Authority so that could only leave the other option despite knowing he hadn't committed anything relatively treasonous. 

"Uh, have I done somethin' wrong?" Gamzee asked, uneasy. He didn't want to be burned to death.

Eminor shook her head before signing at him reassuringly, _No, nope, ain't anything like that. Juzt...zomething we've been mulling over for a while and we need you there. Come on._

With that Eminor took his wrist and tugged him along and after a brief pause Gamzee obediently followed her until they reached the chambers of the Bloodied Authority, deep within the heart of the Subjugglator flagship. Gamzee blinked, noticing that the other High Priestormentors and members of the Authority were already there, sitting up on the high pedestals. In the centre of the room was a chair with it positioned so that who ever was seated on it would be looked down upon by the Authority. 

Gamzee grimaced but nonetheless sat down in the chair at Eminor's prompting before she went back to her own seat. He squirmed in the chair, a bit bemused it was actually large enough for him to comfortably sit in it before he looked up at the Authority. Most were talking to each other and he could sense the roiling emotions from all of them. As usual there was Eminor, Gratia and Occhio there, alongside Abutor and Priest. 

Noticeably the only seat vacant was the one in the middle of the rise, no doubt the chair of the long deceased Grand Highblood.

"Um, what's wrong?" Gamzee finally asked, "Did I fuck up?"

"Oh no no, dear one," Abutor smiled, "It's just the Authority have been discussing this issue ever since initiation and well...we've come to a decision-"

"It's too early," Occhio cut over him, a bark in his voice, "He's too inexperienced!"

"I would say the opposite," Abutor countered, "He has already passed his initiation with flying colours- with skill we have never seen. He is more than adequent and the Church has been languishing without a Grand Highblood."

"He's still far too young," Occhio insisted. Agitation swirled heavily from the blind troll's psychics, a bitter and restless cloud.

"Wait what?" Gamzee was lost.

Gratia sighed, clearly fed up with their companions arguing, so instead they address Gamzee directly, "We are speaking about voting you in as our next Grand Highblood."

Eminor gave him a thumbs up from where she was seated but Gamzee was even more confused. Why would they vote for him? He wasn't exactly anything special and as far as they knew he was still barely more than a wiggler. He said as much, and Occhio nodded while Abutor seemed pleased with his words which baffled him.

"True, you're rather clean of tooth my darling, but you have outstanding potential. Your Ancestor Kurloz pulled us into a glorious age and you have already shown despite your youth you're an examplary fighter and wielder of chucklevoodoos. You are devout towards everything the Church stands for and would die without hesitation for our Messiahs, whom you love. I believe you will be an excellent choice and you will have little issue with growing into the rank," Abutor said sincerely, with many of the rest of the Authority nodding with his words.

"But I ain't...I'm a failure," Gamzee protested, "I can't protect shit, how can I do it with the Church without breakin' like a motherfucker?"

Occhio threw his hands up and Gratia have him a reproachful look but the Authority did fall silent at Gamzee's words. Then Priest was the one to move, movements slow and careful as he rose before making his way down to Gamzee. 

When he reached him, the old troll placed his withered hands on Gamzee's shoulder and spoke quietly, "We all make mistakes, but I believe they speak true. Even the fairly atrabilious Occhio agrees, though he still is argumentative give his nature."

"But..." Gamzee fumbled with his words, unable to properly articulate his inadequacies, "I ain't good, I forget shit and just fuck up everything I wanna do." 

He'd even failed with something that was supposedly pre-written within time- Lord English. Instead he failed with that and his Messiah died. Then again, so did the ones who finally put an end to his Cherub and the trolls were, once again, reaping a reward that was unjustly given to them but Gamzee would never forgive himself for failing his Messiahs and even his own matesprit. So why the Bloodied Authority thought he was in any way good for a role that was essentially looking over the entire Church was beyond him.

Deep within his subconscious Kurloz stirred restlessly but otherwise didn't react and Gamzee struggled to control his breathing. He wasn't good at responsibility; if he couldn't even protect his wigglers and matesprit, then what worth was he?

Priest's wrinkled hand gently touched Gamzee's own and he shifted his hand until he linked his fingers through the Priestormentor's and making the old troll smile.

"You need not worry about failing," Priest said in soft tones, his slightly cloudy eyes thick with compassion and mute encouragement, "Remember that within the Church we always aid one another and if you stumble and fall, all you need to do is extend a hand and we shall help you back up without hesitation."

Priest's words from their very first encounter surged up within Gamzee's mind _I believe you are exactly where you need to be._

Gamzee would wager a substantial amount of boondollars that if Priest had played SGRUB, the Priest would've been a Seer of some sort.

With that in mind Gamzee nodded, looking Priest in the eye as he said, "Okay. Let's do this."

Priest smiled and then he announced to the room at large, "Send word that the inauguration of Gamzee Makara as the next Grand Highblood in over two hundred sweeps shall be completed as soon as possible, and all members of the Church will be in attendance."

* * *

Hestia had _screamed_ when he told her about the news later and flew at him in an excited blur and latched onto his neck and smothering his face with kisses while babbling excitedly. She was smaller than him but held on tightly with excitement, her lipstick leaving purple stains on his face.

Koiboi was more reserved, looking incredibly shocked at the new. Hestia promptly rounded on him- after kissing Gamzee a few more times before he managed to pry her choking grip off him -and yelled at him until Koiboi explained he was moreso taken aback at having a new Grand Highblood and it was someone their age.

"Like yeah, I'm a bit worried I guess," Gamzee admitted, "But Priest and the others think I can totally get this shit down and they ain't ever led me astray before.

"Do they not need your aid? For uh, organization of the event."

"Nah, they said I should just focus on what I need to be, they gonna be sorting out that shit out so the whole Church can get its appearance on. Mainly I just gotta...show up, you know? I can't do anything like that 'cause I ain't the GHB yet."

"It's almost like a coronation..." Koiboi frowned before asking, "Where is it being held?"

"Dunno, guess that's the Authority's job. They've done this shit before. Least some of them have, anyway," he replied, thinking back to what the Authority had said to him before he left.

"Obviously we need a place large enough for the Church itself to attend," Abutor had explained, "And we are not a small group, darling."

"Indeed, but you need not worry," Gratia had hastened to reassure him, "We shall organize everything. You need but attend. Go and deal with yourself while we deal with the finakely details."

Gamzee had then been shooed from the Bloodied Authority chambers, laden with reassurances before he left. 

"Wow, that's a good deal," Hestia said, elbowing Gamzee playfully in the side, "Ain't gotta worry about gettin' every motherfucker being gathered up and other borin' shit so yeah, you're not the Grand Highblood or uh, High Subjugglator. The which fuck?"

"They're interchangeable titles," Koiboi said.

"Right, so if you think I'm gonna become a nooksniff towards you after you get that paint, then you can fuck right off," Hestia teased Gamzee, flashing him a fang-filled smile.

Koiboi made a face, "Obviously he would be afforded the typical respect we direct towards one another, yet now he shall be the symbol of us all. I do believe you will be a more than adequate leader."

_Can't be anymore shit than the Condese,_ Jane's voice whispered within his mind like a malicious ghost and making Gamzee crack up laughing.

* * *

The next few days were a mess of rampant activity as the entire Church mobilized in anticipation of the upcoming ceremony. The first thing the Authority did was give the announcement of Gamzee being chosen and he couldn't even go to the kitchens to have lunch without being lavished with congratulations, hugs and kisses from his fellow clowns. Not that he minded, being extremely tactile himself but he still felt rather self conscious from the praise.

Hestia told him later that evening that it had been a summon given to every single Subjugglator within the Empire- no matter how far away they were or what they were doing they were told to return to witness the ascension of the next Grand Highblood.

"I heard even the Laughassassins are being called back," Hestia told him, "Like, even if they're on super important missions- even if they're Empire given ones or hunting heathens -they've still bein' summoned. It's nuts. The whole Church is like an upturned anthill and ships are leaping in left right and centre and carnivals are all ov'r the fuckin' place!"

Gamzee shared the excitement, the breathless anticipation that was sweeping through the ship also whirling up within him and making his nerves shot and his sleep short. He was rather confused however after some thought; considering how many clowns would be in attendence- he didn't know the exact number of how many Subjugglators there was but he knew it was in the millions, perhaps even billions- he had no idea how they would all fit on the Subjugglator flagship. He said as much when he caught Eminor in passing and the Priestormentor had laughed silently before signing at him.

_Nope,_ Eminor had said, _Thiz ain't gonna be zomething we can do on a zhip,_

Instead they were making their way to a massive planet that had been completely colonized, the original inhabitants long dead and buried with world-wide spanning carnivals erected over the surface. It had become the place to welcome in the new Grand Highblood's, Priest had told him, and welcomed in the last dozen within the Church. Apparently the longevity of Kurloz's reign was extremely unusual for a Grand Highblood and Gamzee wondered how long he'd survive.

But the planet was massive, huge enough the house the Church, and when Gamzee went planetside to the center of the where the ceremony would be held. A massive bowl in the earth, with a broad rise within the center. It was overgrown with flora and everything was colourful and bright from the various flowers in bloom. When he stood on the rise alongside Gratia, he could see the points of Carnivals in the distance and above he could see more and more ships ascending through the sky as the entirety Church answered the call.

Gamzee ended up in the strange labyrinth beneath the bowl, where there were ancient pictures drawn from Subjugglators past- many were of previous Grand Highbloods but others were of serpentine monsters and huge green creatures with wings of black and white.

* * *

"It is time."

The words send a shiver down Gamzee's spine, like icy water trickling down his back. He cast a glance over his shoulder and saw Priest gazing at him. The old troll's expression was placid, calming and Gamzee trying to push down his mounting anxiety. He'd been waiting in one of the dusty rear rooms of the labyrinth, built directly within the mountain face and could feel the press of a sea of minds against his psychics as more and more Subjugglators arrived to witness the ascension of the newest Grand Highblood. Those who couldn't attend personally- and there were very few who couldn't attend -would apparently be watching the event at the nearest carnival through livefeeds. Even so the press of minds was immense, first a few thousand, then the number climbed and climbed as more and more Subjugglators arrived and Gamzee felt like he was within a colossal crowd. Keeping his psychics closely reigned in helped, even if another part of him was so profoundly fascinated by so many psychics being in one place. 

Even the Condesce wasn't permitted to attend, something Occhio seemed to take smug pride in telling Gamzee. The Bard tried to contain his pleasure at the news but guessed he failed judging from the pleased quirk that twisted up the lips of the blind Priest, though it had quickly shifted into a scowl when Gamzee asked him why the Empress wasn't allowed there.

"She's a fucking heathen," Occhio had spat out, "And some of these stupid shits seem to forget this. This is all Church business, so fuck her."

That had caused Gamzee to start giggling, which at least helped sooth some of his apprehension, before Occhio had left to see to some affairs and leaving Gamzee alone yet again. To entertain himself while he waited, he spent time studying the walls which were covered in numerous ancient pictures of past Grand Highbloods. There were dozens- far more than Gamzee assumed but after a moment it made sense; being in the Church was hardly a safe career and death was always lurking nearby for any Subjugglator.

And the Church was apparently even older than the Empire itself so there had been quite a few deceased Grand Highbloods, dying in service of the Church. And now he was going to join their numbers.

Priest's withered hand gently touched his elbow and Gamzee flinched on reflex. 

"Come now, do not be afraid. They are not here to cast judgement- they are here to watch their new Grand Highblood be accepted. I will be here with you, for every step of the way," the ancient troll assured him, still holding onto his elbow.

Gamzee sucked in a shaky breath before nodding. With that he allowed Priest to lead him from the room and through the winding steps.

Only a few days ago most of the vast land had been mostly deserted beyond a few thousand- now there were millions in attendance, a colossal swathe of trollkind that stretched towards the horizon. The hum of excited voices and ocean of movement transfixed him for a long moment until a gentle tug on his elbow urged him along and he followed, going up the winding stairwell to the gigantic rise in the middle of the vast bowl.

At the top were the rest of the Bloodied Authority; Abutor was jittering with barely contained excitement and Gratia gave him a warm smile. On the plinth in the middle of the rise there was an assortment of objects, including a hollowed out troll skull, and Gamzee recognized the small twisted horns that resembled a rose bush as those belonging to one of the past Grand Highbloods- one of the very first, if he recalled the wall mural correctly.

Priest released his elbow and Gamzee resisted the urge to pull the old troll back to him and the Priestormentor shuffled over to the plinth, his movements even more careful than before due to his lack of staff or support. To try and take his thoughts off the upcoming ceremony he peered down at the vast crowd below; he spied some familiar faces, like Hestia, Koiboi, Lothri, Lucile, Ashure and Karrel. Hestia waved enthusiastically when she noticed his gaze and he grinned back before returning the gesture. Other trolls he could recognize but not remember the names of, such as the organic mechanic who helped him back when he got lost on his second day at the Church and even a few of the lesser Priestormentors he remembered speaking to at various points. The vast majority however were Subjugglators he'd never seen and after casting his gaze along the vast vista of troll kind below he suddenly realized just how _huge_ the Church truly was. He couldn't even count the sheer amount of trolls within the crowd as it stretched as far as the eye could see.

How could he be expected to be responsible for all those lives?

His hands started to shake and he felt nausea build up within his gut even as the bitter tang of bile surged in his throat. Then, once again, Priest approached him, regarding him such a serious expression Gamzee momentarily forgot his discomfort.

"Hush, we are all here. It is time," Priest said solemnly. Gamzee blinked, unsure of what to do when the ancient Priestormentor turned his attention to the vast crowd. Then he pulled off the horn attached to his belt and held it up before squeezing the bulbous end.

The sonorous _honk_ echoed across the land and even before the sound faded away the crowd below fell silent. Gamzee's bloodpusher fluttered in his chest as millions of eyes focused on him and he twitched violently. Next to him Priest remained calm, old eyes surveying the crowd and Gamzee guess that due to his sheer age the Priest had ushered in numerous other Grand Highbloods- he had, after all, lived through three Empresses and the Church went through leaders more often than the Empire.

With that in mind he forced his attention away from the crowd and instead focused on Priest as he began to speak, voice strong despite his age and carrying aross the plains via the natural amplification of the bowl they were standing upon, "You have all been gathered here, faithful followers of the Messiahs to witness the welcoming of a new leader- we have been without a Grand Highblood for many sweeps, as we have tried and failed to find another who was devout, strong and _chosen_ enough for the position. Until Gamzee Makara came to us, just this past Conscription."

Gamzee swallowed and looked away, staring at the skull resting upon the plinth in an attempt to distract himself from Priest's words. He felt undeserving of the praise, unused to hearing someone speak such to him, in front of a vast crowd and before millions.

"Though he is young, he has already proven to be true and strong of faith," Priest continued, "He has scarified much already for the Messiahs and I already know he would die for them without hesitation- for our faith and our lords. He has stayed faithful to the Ten Tenants, steadfast and true to his fellows within the Church- like all of us, he loves us as we love him, as we all love one another. He has proven himself within battle, not just in a fight of flesh and blood but also of mind and psychics; his skills are beyond his age and he is already among the best of us despite the tenderness of his sweeps. I have no doubt he will prove himself as great as a leader of those who donned the face paint of the Grand Highblood before him- that he will pull us into a few age and from this rut. That he _will_ bring glory back to us and honour the Messiahs as none have done so before him."

Priest grasped the skull upon the plinth and raised it high, "This contains the ceremonial face paint of induction for the new High Subjugglator," Priest explained, his raspy voice echoing across the silent grounds, "Made from the ground bones of the past Grand Highbloods who've lived and died for the Church, we use this to showcase the willingness of the proffered to shoulder the blood, bones and lives of our billions of deceased brothers, sisters and siblings within the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs as well as uphold all that our faith entails. To shoulder the faith, lives and deaths of those that will come and- when and if -the time comes, to give his life for the Church. To give his life for the Messiahs without hesitation."

Gamzee felt nervousness churn thickly in his gut at Priest's words, making it difficult for him to breathe and made him feel like he was on the verge of vomiting. He could feel the millions of eyes upon him, the entirety of the Church watching him and- most likely -judging him and finding him wanting. He was unused to feeling to exposed and self conscious and he suddenly wanted to do nothing more than flee. He felt so shaken and suddenly so convinced he was unable to live up to Priest's expectations.

Instead before he could anything of the sort, he felt Priest's mind press against his own, thick with unyielding sympathy and encouragement. The calm radiating from the ancient Priestormentor's mind soothed his shot nerves, drawing away his mounting anxiety and apprehension. Priest's mind was absolute in feeling Gamzee was the one who was best for the job, who would excel in taking up his Ancestor's mantle and Gamzee pressed his own psychics back in a intimate mental embrace which the ancient troll reciprocated without hesitation. 

With that in mind and taking strength from Priest's unshakable conviction and faith within him, Gamzee obediently knelt down at the old troll's gentle mental prompting. On his knees he had to tilt his head back slightly to look up at Priest's and the ancient Priestormentor smiled, the wrinkles within his face deepening.

Turning to the small plinth next to him Priest placed down the skull and picked up the damp rag and with slow movements cleaned Gamzee's face, wiping away his old face paint design. Gamzee remained as still as he could, remaining kneeling down with his hands resting on his knees. The air around him had shifted, as if all the clowns watching were observing with barely contained eagerness and Gamzee wondered why he hadn't had more faith within his fellow clowns. Priest was right; they wouldn't abandon him just as he wouldn't abandon them.

With a soft noise of satisfaction Priest finished wiping Gamzee's face clean and he felt suddenly naked without it. However that sensation didn't last long, as Priest dropped the dirtied cloth on the plinth before picking up the Grand Highblood skull which contained the face paint.

He held the skull gently within his wrinkled hands before cupping it in his left then gently placed his index finger within the opening at the top of the skull, coating the pads of his finger in the white paint. Then with a slow movement he reached out and touched Gamzee's brow.

The face paint was cool and smooth upon his bare face but he felt still as Priest slow drew the jagged mask of the Grand Highblood upon his features, starting with the curls at his brow, before drawing on the mask around his eyes. Gamzee exhaled steadily, eye lids sliding shut as Priest traced around them before curving out the paint in sharp points towards his ears. Once that was done Priest dipped his finger back into the skull, coating his finger in more of the bone-made paint and painting across Gamzee's nose and then down towards his lips. Gamzee twitched slightly each time Priest's fingertip brushed over his three scars but otherwise didn't move as the old troll methodically painted his face. Taking care not to actually paint over his mouth, Priest traced along his jaw line with the spiky lower shape of the Grand Highblood's face paint. Once that was done Priest placed the skull back on the plinth with a great care before wiping his finger clean on the cloth. 

Once that was done he shifted his attention back to Gamzee's face and with the tip of a claw he gently began to scratch the edges of the drying mask on the Bard's features, making the edges jagged and rough until it was the mirror of all those who had worn it before him. After a few moments Priest drew back his hand and his cloudy eyes shone with unshed tears with his expression was so thick with pride and compassion Gamzee couldn't look away.

He kept eye contact even as Priest bade him to rise and Gamzee did so until he was towering over him. Seeing the old troll sway, Gamzee gently gripped Priest's wrists, given the fragile old troll his support. The two regarded each other for a long moment before Priest turned and took Gamzee's hand in both his own and raised it, Gamzee allowing him to do so without protest even as he broke out into a grin.

Priest smiled, teeth crocked and eyes glowing, before he spoke, voice easily carrying over the vast crowd watching in breathless silence below, "Behold, the next Grand Highblood of the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs!"

* * *


	35. Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I read a post on tumblr recently about how you shouldn't tag in ships who only briefly appear or get a off-hand mention since it's rather mean to those shippers via leading them on, and after reading that I deleted the Kanaya/Rose tag since it's very much in the past and it also made me realize I've seriously neglected any Jade/Rose fans who clicked on my fic hoping for some of that pairing. So this chapter is very much dedicated to those two lovely ladies and their relationship with each other. Well, also having some more drama and more information about the present state of the human-troll war. Oh and Equius is still very _very_ angry over what happened to Nepeta. He's just really good at hiding it behind a stoic mask but then he and Rose get into a salt session and it all comes out.

* * *

  
ComponentObjectModel [COM]  has begun trolling ChihuahuaLover [CL]   
  
COM: THƎRƎ.   
CL: what?? who is this??   
CL: wait youre trolling me   
CL: youre a fucking troll!!! piss off!   
CL: also dont bothering trying to track me we've already got that blocked   
COM: NO.   
COM: NOT HƎRƎ FOR FIGHTING.   
COM: HƎLP.   
CL: what are you talking about? i bet you're lying, just trying to prey on our sympathies!   
CL: you scumbag trolls aliens, you have no fucking morals do you????   
CL: you see us wanting to help, even with those weirdass helmmen or whatever theyre called and think sending one to talk to me is gonna make me betray something to help you track us down   
CL: well screw you!!!   
CL: we all know you engine trolls or whatever cant even think anymore, you're like a generator now   
COM: NO.   
COM: NO.   
COM: CAN THINK. A BIT.   
COM: OBSƎRVƎR IS DƎAD. CAN THINK NOW.   
COM: A BIT.   
COM: A LITTLƎ BIT.   
COM: BUT ƎNOUGH. WANT HƎLP. WANT TO HƎLP.   
COM: BUT ƎXCHANGƎ.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
CL: ...   
CL: what do you have in mind?   
CL: dont think i believe you just yet! i just haven't heard about one of you yellow ones actually communicating before, since you're usually fried   
CL: but what do you want?   
CL: an exchange? of what?   
COM: INFORMATION.   
COM: TƎLL YOU INFORMATION WHILƎ OBSƎRVƎR DƎAD. CAN'T OBSƎRVƎ.   
COM: CAN TƎLL WITHOUT BƎING CAUGHT.   
CL: but what do YOU want in exchange?   
COM: DƎATH.   
COM: KILL IT.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
CL: kill 'it'? you mean you?   
COM: YƎS.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
CL: what   
CL: why?   
COM: WANT TO DIƎ.   
COM: IN PAIN.   
COM: PHYSICAL.   
COM: MƎNTAL.   
COM: ALWAYS.   
COM: PAIN.  
COM: TRAPPƎD.   
COM: WANT TO DIƎ.   
CL: but just   
CL: why do you need me??   
CL: i thought you trolls just killed any one of your kind who spoke out?   
COM: NO.   
COM: NOT RIGHT NOW.   
COM: WOULD BƎ RƎPROGRAMMƎD.   
COM: FLƎSHƎATƎRS.   
COM: FORGƎT. FORGƎT SƎLF AGAIN.  
COM: UNFƎƎLING.   
COM: CODƎ FLUSHƎD INTO THINKPAN.   
COM: BURIƎD UNDƎRNƎATH.   
COM: CAN'T LƎT THƎM KNOW.   
COM: AFRAID.   
COM: AFRAID.   
COM: AFRAID.  
CL: okay um   
CL: where are you?   
CL: i cant kill you if i cant find you   
CL: are you on a ship??? which one?   
COM: NO. NOT SHIP.   
COM: NOT HƎLMSMAN.   
COM: HUSK.   
COM: NO LIMBS. NO ƎYƎS.   
COM: BLIND.   
COM: CAN THINK A BIT NOW SHƎ DƎAD.   
CL: the observer?? who even is that   
COM: SPY.   
COM: SPIƎD ON US ALL.   
COM: KƎPT ƎYƎ ON US ALL.   
COM: RƎPORT ANY DƎVIANCƎ.   
COM: RƎPROGRAMMƎD.   
COM: OLD.   
COM: DƎAD NOW.   
COM: CAN THINK.   
COM: WILL HƎLP?   
CL: a   
CL: a husk?   
CL: what is   
CL: wait, no limbs. you're one of those creepy trolls who've gotten their arms and legs cut off aren't you????   
CL: i've seen those blue trolls running around with some strapped to their backs like backpacks or something   
CL: you're one of them?   
COM: YƎS.   
COM: KILL IT.   
CL: what are you going to give me in return?   
CL: taking on one of you weird backpack trolls and those...users or whatever is tough since you got that psychic shit   
CL: thats putting me and mine at risk and for all i know you're making a trap   
CL: so what are you going to give me to show youre genuine?   
COM: HAVƎ SOMƎTHING.   
COM: SƎVƎRAL.   
COM: HƎRƎ.   
  
ComponentObjectModel [COM]  has sent ChihuahuaLover [CL]  the attatched- Empire_Fleet_Movements.PDF, Condesce_Sighting.MP3CUT, Seadweller_NewZealand_Operation.TXT, Magic.GIF, [Priestormentors.PNG,](http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/image/146594351913), [Candeo_Captus.PNG,](http://mesmiraculouslymirthful.tumblr.com/post/157038335983/swimmingferret)and Church_Carnival_Brazil.GIF.  
  
CL: what the hell   
COM: IS THAT ƎNOUGH.   
COM: CAN FIND MORƎ.   
COM: BUT WILL TAKƎ TIMƎ. MAY BƎ CAUGHT. WILL BƎ.  
CL: i   
CL: this is a lot of information   
CL: how did you get it???   
COM: WATCHƎD.   
COM: LONG TIMƎ.   
COM: IS THIS ƎNOUGH?   
COM: ALRƎADY SUSPICIOUS.   
COM: CAN DIG MORƎ.   
COM: BUT RATƎ OF BƎING DISCOVƎRƎD AT 98.90%.   
COM: WHICH ALSO COULD LƎAD TO HUMAN DISCOVERƎD.   
COM: LƎSS SAFƎ.   
COM: SAFƎR TO KILL IT NOW.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: AFRAID.   
COM: AFRAID.   
CL: ...   
CL: okay so i got those files scanned you sent me and they're all clean   
CL: so lets ENTERTAIN the thought i believe you're genuine then where are you???   
CL: i cant actually help you with um wanting to die if i don't know where you are to kill you and whatever troll is using you   
COM: HƎRƎ.   
COM: CURRƎNT POSITION.   
  
ComponentObjectModel [COM]  has sent ChihuahuaLover [CL]  a file Current_Coordinate.TXT. and Speculated_Next_Coordinate.TXT.  
  
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
CL: ...   
CL: alright.   
CL: i'll try   
CL: TRY okay???   
CL: if it gets too dangerous i'll have to leave   
CL: do you know how many trolls are around you?? or is it just your...handler/whatever?   
COM: A FƎW.   
COM: NOT MANY.   
COM: A DOZƎN AT MOST.   
COM: FOUR AT LƎSS.   
COM: COULD KILL.   
COM: AT LƎAST IT.   
COM: PLƎASE.   
CL: ...   
CL: okay, i'll try   
CL: at least with you   
CL: i'm not gonna tell you when or where i'm gonna try though okay??? i still don't trust you yet   
CL: so while i've never heard of one of you weirdo limbless yellow aliens actually speaking to someone, i'm still not gonna potentially run into a trap asap okay?   
COM: ...   
COM: UNDƎRSTOOD.   
COM: WILL WIPƎ MƎMORY OF ƎVƎNT. TO PROTƎCT HUMAN. WILL TRUST.   
COM: ONLY SHORT TƎRM SINCƎ SHƎ IS NO LONGƎR WATCHING.   
COM: CANNOT DO LONGTƎRM.   
COM: BUT ƎNOUGH THAT IT WILL NOT RƎMƎMBƎR SPƎAKING TO THƎ HUMAN OR WHAT THƎY TOLD.   
COM: BUT PLƎASƎ.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: TRY.   
COM: AFRAID.   
COM: AFRAID.   
COM: AFRAID.   
CL: alright just   
CL: just hang on, okay? i'll do my best   
COM: YƎS.   
COM: PLƎASƎ.   
COM: THANK YOU.   
COM: SPƎCIƎS IS KIND.   
COM: WISH IT WAS HUMAN.   
CL: yeah not right now. we're kinda being killed en mass by ur kind   
COM: AM AWARƎ.   
COM: BUT STILL.   
COM: HUMANS CARƎ.   
COM: RARƎ.   
COM: SPƎCIAL.   
COM: SHOULD BƎ CHƎRISHƎD.   
COM: WISH IT WAS HUMAN.   
CL: ...alright   
COM: THANK YOU.   
COM: PLƎASE TRY.   
COM: ALL THAT IT ASKS.   
COM: WANT TO DIƎ.   
COM: WILL WIPƎ THINKPAN NOW.   
COM: THANK YOU.   
CL: wait are you   
CL: ...   
CL: hello????   
CL: ...   
CL: are you still there?   
CL: ...   
CL: ...   
CL: ...   
CL: you've been idle for like five minutes, what happened?   
CL: is that supposed to happen?   
COM: O̟̹̥̰̦̤B̻͈͇ƎY͕͍̪̖͠   
COM: S̺͓̰̥U҉̣̼͕̻͖̩ͅB̷͎̩̲͉͔̯M̶I̝̦̰Ţ̳̟̲͖̩̼̪   
COM: C̕O̺̻̪̘͙͉N̗͈̫̘͍̹S̱̮̪̙͚͜U̶̬M͕͇̹͔͉̘Ǝ   
COM: A̧̜̫̤̠̦̖Ļ̖̗͓L̝ ̪̜̳͍̹H̜AI̵̝͇̮͍̟̝L͔̕ ̟̙̘H͏̦ƎR̦̹̱ ̹I͈̙͙̺̘͓͇M̥̼̩̫̯̬̣P̦̼̲̻͠ƎR҉̤͎̥I̗̲̹̮͎̲̞O̱͚͖̥͓̲̫U͕͜S̶̺̻̱̣ ̳̟͎̦C̴̹͙Ơ̦̼̙Ṇ̩̣̘̙D͉̬͚ƎŞ̰̲͖̟̯̯̟CE̴̙N̛̫S͔͎̜̘̫Į̣O̼̞̼͇̰͖N̯̘̟   
COM: G̬̠̭̮L͇O̹̖̥̰̕R̖Y͉̰͖ͅ ̪͕̩ͅT̻̪O ̯̼̺͚̩̙̙T͏̘͕̖H͎̩Ǝ ͇͉͓̫̩ƎM̰̖͕̼PI͟R͇͍Ǝ   
CL: what the fuck   
  
ComponentObjectModel [COM]  has ceased trolling ChihuahuaLover [CL]   
  
CL: what the _fuck_   


* * *

  
  
UncoveringEmergence [UE]  has begun trolling GaiusVivarium [GV]   
  
UE: W0W EVERYTHING IS G0ING T0 SHIT. THIS WAR IS SHIT. EVERYTHING IS SHIT. M0RE SHIT THAN N0RMAL UGH.  
GV: preachin to the fuckin church babe  
GV: its even worse on the human planet just loads of yelling and dyin   
GV: gotta hand it to the humans tho they're tough as fuck   
GV: pissed as hell  
GV: pretty impressed actually  
UE: YEAH I HEARD THEY'RE REALLY T0UGH.   
UE: EVEN TH0UGH THEY'RE PRETTY SMALL? H0W SMALL ARE WE TALKING HERE.   
GV: like average height is just like five foot tall other wise theyre pretty squat yeah  
UE: S0 CUTE.   
UE: EVEN VANTAS- WAIT I MEAN THE GREAT SCUTTLEBEAST/SUFFERIST REHATCHED URGH, TH0SE FUCKED CULT IDI0TS GET ALL UURRRGH IF WE DARE USE HIS FUCKING NAME -IS TALLER THAN THEM AND HE'S LIKE...THE TINEST TR0LL EVER.   
UE: LITTLE W0NDER THE HEIRESS T00K HIM AS A PALEMATE, HE'D BE LIKE THE PERFECT CUDDLE SIZE.   
UE: PR0BABLY GETS A FACEFUL 0F HER B00BS EVERY HUG TH0UGH.   
GV: yeah apparently she's got pretty nice boobs but i prefer yours   
UE: AWW.   
GV: ♥   
UE: ♥   
UE: BUT UNF0RTUNTELY Y0U'RE N0T G0NNA BE GETTING ANY QUALITY TIME WITH THESE B00BS F0R A WHILE WITH THIS SHITASTIC WAR G0ING 0N. IT'S WILD, EVERYTHING IS JUST G0ING MAD. NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT, ACTUALLY. IT'S LIKE S0METHING HAS CHANGED THAT G0T THE HIGHER UPS THEIR BULGES IN A TWIST.   
GV: yea the church got their mits on the human empress apparently and the humans went hiveshit over it   
UE: HEARD AB0UT THAT. N0T UH, N0T THE BEST 0F NEWS ESPECIALLY IF WE TRY PLAYING NICE WITH THEM 0N 0UR PART.   
UE: I MEAN SHE SH0ULD BE 0KAY, RIGHT?   
UE: ...   
UE: 0KAY MAYBE N0T, BUT SHE ISN'T DEAD YET IS SHE?   
GV: i'm not sure   
UE: SEADWELLER RUM0UR THEN.   
GV: the ghb snatched her outta vulnus's rainbow room apparently   
GV: then holed himself up in his rooms with her and he hasn't been seen since   
GV: and that was like a couple of days ago from what i heard   
UE: WHAT'S HE D0ING T0 HER.   
GV: i dunno   
GV: maybe he's like eatin or her something  
GV: either way you can take it i guess ha ha   
UE: IT WAS A RHET0RICAL QUESTI0N Y0U G00F.   
GV: yeah well how the fuck am i supposed to know that? kinda had to read tone in text babe   
UE: HM.   
UE: BUT THAT MAKES THINGS A LITTLE BIT M0RE C0MPLICATED I BET. HUMANS W0N'T WANNA TALK T0 0UR ASSES IF 0NE 0F US MURDERLIZES THEIR EMPRESS. NEVER MIND IT'S THE EMPIRE, N0T US.  
UE: FUCK.   
UE: >_>   
UE: 0KAY UH...H0PEFULLY HE KEEPS HER IN 0NE PIECE?   
UE: H0W DURABLE ARE HUMANS ANYWAY.   
GV: kinda depends really   
GV: the ones i've dealt with are pretty fucking tough but thats moreso cause they're not stupid enough to take us on int a fight   
GV: sneaky shits half the time its like tryin kill them with a swatter while they flit about and scream like a flock of flutterbeasts   
GV: gotta hand it to them they're bellicose and tenacious as any species we've fought before and i've been around  
GV: nearly snagged me a couple of times   
UE: THEY S0UND FUN.   
UE: LIKE...TINY AND FULL 0F RAGE.   
GV: heh yeah   
GV: figured you'd be used to that shit, hanging around that assblood signless reborn fucker or whatever it is that creepy ass cult with the messed up horns lose their collective shit over and woship as some kinda deity despite him being a fuckin troll who i'm pretty sure doesnt even have any kind of psychic stuff  
UE: UGH I HATE THAT L0T. W0ULD PREFER IT IF I C0ULD JUST KILL THEM BUT N0000 WE NEED THE CULT RIGHT N0W.   
UE: CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS WAR IS 0VER.   
UE: WELL, 0R UNLESS WE'RE ALL DEAD.   
UE: WHICHEVER.   
GV: i'd prefer the nondead version   
UE: YEAH SAME.   
GV: ugh   
GV: so much shit to go through   
UE: YEAH BUT.   
UE: KINDA ACTUALLY HAVE S0METHING SERI0US I NEED T0 BRING UP AND NEED Y0UR HELP WITH IT.   
GV: this better not be able the slave pens again   
GV: i told you before   
GV: i'm not going near that unpalatable shit   
UE: NAH N0T THAT. THAT'S BEEN L0NG S0RTED. BUT IT _IS_ AB0UT THE HUMANS.   
GV: oh yeah?   
UE: YEAH.   
UE: RUM0UR HAS IT THEY'RE THE 0NES BEHIND THE 0BSERVER DYING.   
GV: seriously??   
GV: damn   
GV: those little hornless mammals got some globes on them i'll give em that   
GV: those lil landlocked shits sure fucked her up.   
GV: though how did they manage it? she was on the clown ship   
UE: THAT'S STILL KINDA UNCLEAR.   
GV: i guess...but it kinda mades sense, but like theres a couple rumours floatin about about how that human empress got caught that way   
GV: but others are saying she got snatched after she threw down with the ghb himself on their planet itself  
GV: dont really know which is fact   
GV: and not that keen on asking those delisional clown fucks what the proper story is   
UE: WELL THAT'S G0NNA BE S0METHING LEFT F0R THE REC0RDERS T0 DEBATE 0VER, I FEEL.   
GV: bah i'll say. its fuckin crazy enough down here, just rainbow rivers all over these weird human cities and that diseased lookin crimson splattered all over the place like misfired fireworks  
GV: if theres gotta be one major negative for them humans i'd have to say its their blood   
GV: its way too fuckin bright   
GV: it just looks...   
GV: urgh i dunno it just looks sick and just disgusting   
UE: RUST D0ESN'T?   
GV: nah babe you know it does   
GV: i mean doesnt that mutie wear red armour or something?   
GV: like his blood colour  
UE: YEAH.   
UE: IT'S SUPER BRIGHT- Y0U'D FIGURE FR0M ALL HIS RANTS AB0UT BEING INC0NSPCI0US HE'D TAKE HIS 0WN ADVICE BUT WH0 AM I, A L0WLY RAND0M-ASS RUST, T0 DICTATE WHAT 0UR MESSIAH D0ES?   
UE: 0R UH SUFFERER?   
UE: PR0PHET?   
UE: FUCK I D0N'T KN0W.   
UE: IT GETS C0NFUSING.   
GV: you're in a cult what do you expect?   
UE: 0H N0T ALL OF US ARE BAD. IT'S JUST TH0SE DUMBASSES WH0 W0SHIP HIM AS S0ME KIND 0F G0D THAT FUCKS IT UP F0R THE REST 0F US.   
UE: BUT ANYWAY, BACK T0 BUSINESS.   
UE: I HAVE SERI0US SHIT T0 DISCUSS- H0W MUCH SHIT DID THEY KN0CK 0UT WHEN THEY KILLED THE 0BSERVER?   
UE: I KNOW A L0T 0F PEOPLE HAVE SEEN L0ADS OF SHIT IN THE SYSTEMS CRASHING.   
UE: LIKE DAMN, SHE WAS CRAMMED INT0 _EVERYTHING._   
GV: well she was old as fuck so it doesn't surprise me   
GV: from what i've heard she's one of the oldest pissbloods after the condesce's helmsman  
GV: and hes like   
GV: motherfuckin ancient   
UE: WHAT A SHITTY LIFE. JUST LIKE...HANGING THERE.   
UE: I'VE TRIED TALKING TO THE GH0STS 0F PAST DEAD HELMSMEN AND HUSKS AND THE LIKE BUT THEY'RE JUST S0 FUCKED UP.   
UE: USUALLY THEY JUST SCREAM 0R D0 N0THING.   
GV: some fucked shit, babe   
UE: UGH, I'VE WHINED S0 MUCH T0 Y0U AB0UT THIS SHIT I'M JUST BEATING A DEAD H00FBEAST BUT IT PISSES ME 0FF S0 MUCH.   
GV: ain't much you can do though   
GV: ship gotta fly   
UE: YEAH I KN0W.   
UE: BUT HEY, MAYBE THE HUMANS WILL KILL THAT BITCHFACE C0NDESCE AND WE'LL ALL BE DEAD S0 IT W0N'T MATTER.   
UE: I'LL PR0BABLY C0RNER Y0U IN THE AFTERLIFE AND C0MPLAIN ANYWAY.   
GV: hey i'll come join i've got loads to complain about   
GV: these little shit bag humans they're annoying   
GV: i   
GV: ah fuck looks like they're doing another raid the lil fuckers   
GV: i should go   
UE: NAH NAH, WAIT!   
UE: G0TTA SEND Y0U S0METHING FIRST 0v0   
UE: BECAUSE LIKE YEAH, I WANTED T0 G0SSIP A BIT WITH Y0U AND SHIT, BUT I ALS0 WANTED T0 SEND Y0U S0ME G00DIES, S0 Y0U KN0W I'M THINKING 0F Y0U. ♥   
GV: eh?   
  
UncoveringEmergence [UE]  has sent GaiusVivarium [GV]  the files Pose_One.PNG, Pose_Two.PNG, My_Nice_Spheres_Hehe.MP3, More_Boobie.PNG, Nookie1.MP3, Nookie2.PNG and Slick_For_You.MP3.  
  
UE: 0v0   
UE: Y0U LIKE THEM?   
UE: I T00K THEM JUST F0R Y0U. ♥   
GV: i   
GV: shit   
GV: babe   
UE: ♥   
UE: G00D THING WITH BEING A RUST, I CAN JUST USE MY TELEKENISIS T0 H0LD A CAMERA F0R THE PERFECT SH0T 0v0   
UE: ♥   
GV: are you trying to get me shot   
UE: D0 Y0U LIKE THEM?   
GV: oh wow   
GV: sometimes i forget how fuckin beautiful you are babe   
GV: i mean shit you're gorgeous   
GV: i'm so fuckin distracted now i'm not giving a shit about this raid even though i just got shot in the fuckin fin   
GV: damn   
UE: HEHE!   
UE: I KN0W THIS L0NG DISTANCE THING IS HARD, BUT I'LL BE ABLE T0 SEND Y0U A L0T M0RE 0F THESE N0W THE 0BSERVER IS DEAD. 0v^   
UE: WELL, UNTIL THEY IMPLANT A NEW 0NE BUT THAT'LL TAKE TIME, S0 HAVE S0ME 0F THESE T0 KEEP Y0U C0MPANY AND S0 Y0U KN0W I'M STILL THINKING 0F Y0U.   
GV: aw babe   
GV: i'll send you some stuff later when i'm not getting shot at   
GV: prob when i'm having quality time with those pics you sent me   
UE: 0v^   
GV: hehe well   
GV: ow   
GV: okay these lil landlocked fuckers are pissing me off they shot me again   
GV: then again i'm just like standing here like a panfried husk so yeah should probably go before i die so gotta slap these fucks right up side their heads   
GV: but i appreciate the gift babe   
UE: G00D!   
UE: FIGURED Y0U'D BEEN S0METHING T0 KEEP Y0U 0CCUPIED.   
UE: BUT YEAH, G0 PAY ATTENTI0N T0 THE FIGHT- D0N'T WANT TH0SE PICS T0 BE TAKEN F0R N0THING IF Y0U DIE.   
GV: sure thing babe   
GV: talk to you later   
UE: ^v^   
UE: ♥♥♥♥♥♥   
GV: ♥   
  
GaiusVivarium [GV]  has ceased trolling UncoveringEmergence [UE]   
  


* * *

  
  
EmeticThresh [ET]  has begun trolling ApokálypsisAscension [AA]   
  
ET: ey hows it goin sis???  
AA: OI! Tis all good ova here yea got some real GOOD SHIT goin down cause WOW i know they said first invasion is GOOD and ALL but am a busy motherfuck whove been harvestin that shit like mad wowee  
ET: oh yeah aye you too busy ta talk? :((((  
AA: NAH got some time just didnt realize how BUSSSSSSSSYYYYYY it was fora bleeder ya know?  
AA: learnin that fuckin fuck shit and then APPLYING IT is so different yea so like gotta a break cause were fixin a machine up cause them aliens gotta be BLED fast as fuck cause their blood IS FRAIL but looks and taste so GOOD  
AA: seirously you gotta TASTE SOME :oD  
AA: like i know youre busy as well but this bitchll FIX YOU RIGHT UP  
AA: got some i can send over but its best FRESH  
AA: maybe you want me to send you a LIVE one :o?  
ET: theyre spunky tho aint they???  
ET: a few coworks of mine said so w their own shipment   
ET: *coworkers whoops :(  
AA: HAHAHAHONKHA works work works HA :oDD  
AA: but LIKE  
AA: THATS HALF THE FUN  
AA: okay this motherfucker gon admit this is kinda ANNOYING when i'm workin and shit  
AA: but some of those slaves that fuckheaded blue lords out are STIFF and act like the DEAD  
AA: fuckers aint dead  
AA: SO WHY ACT LIKE IT :o?   
ET: i dunno maybe they're just wanna go to coon and are like 'who gives a fuck' yea  
AA: IT'S ANNOYING  
ET: /SCREAM/  
ET: but not rly interested in a alien right now cause im kinda busy :(  
ET: these aliens are annoying gotta repair a helmsie in bout an hour anyway  
AA: BOO >:o(  
AA: like the work is GOOD i guess but sometimes its just all over a motherfucker and you like 'HEY WANNA BREAK' but you cant cause so much shit to DO  
ET: :(  
ET: yea  
ET: its why i wanted to check in make sure yall are okay  
ET: a lotta work goin on  
AA: UGH  
AA: it must be even our ghb is having a motherfuckin break so it MUST be intense  
ET: eh?  
AA: aint naught a nobody seen a hair or horn of him for like a day :o(  
AA: then again is UNDERSTANDABLE  
AA: busy busy busy  
AA: this here bitch understands and maybe needs a break HERSELF >:o/  
ET: aw well your ghb is kinda newb right?  
AA: DOESNT MATTER HE'S FUCKING GREAT  
ET: hey hey!  
ET: aint never said he wasnt  
ET: just that why he might be a bit overwhelmed  
ET: like first invasion since conscription???   
ET: hes gotta make sure everyone workin right with your church  
ET: so yea stress  
ET: no disrespect  
AA: hmph  
AA: OKAY but be careful  
AA: HES A GOOD HIGH SUBJUGGLATOR OKAY  
AA: spoken to that motherfucker a couple times, nice af and sweet and big and large and pretty  
AA: AINT NOT SHIT TO TALK SMACK >:o(  
ET: sis i said i wasnt  
ET: he sounds nice  
AA: HE IS  
ET: so hes okay?  
AA: dunno  
AA: clearance isnt high enough to see :o(  
ET: oh thems priest know???  
AA: asked  
AA: blindbro said to fuck RIGHT OFF LOL  
AA: hes funny  
AA: this here sis wanna stick that tongue in those eye sockets and give em a LICKING >;oD  
ET: yea youve sent me a lot of fics w that blind priest and gander bulb socket laving   
AA: ITS GOOD   
ET: yea  
ET: oh that reminds me did you show him the fic you wrote???  
AA: I DID   
AA: he said i was gettin his quirk wrong :o/   
ET: aint that gentle for him  
AA: YEAH  
AA: he acts all bitchy but mutare is a BRO   
AA: just all hissy and SPIT at first  
ET: :)))  
AA: but anyway so much BLOOD  
AA: didnt know how busy bein a bleeder WAS until the first invasion  
ET: you need a pale sess sis???  
AA: NOT RIGHT NOW  
AA: maybe in a few days just gotta sort some worries out in this here PAN  
AA: shit been weird motherfuck  
ET: its work work work urgh  
ET: but yea gimme a scream when you wanna pap and we can make a schedual :))))  
ET: as it is pretty busy but know i can tell my super to fuck right off cause moirail issues  
AA: use CLOWN leverage if you gotta hahahahonkhahah  
ET: dont worry i will ;)))))  
ET: but til then yea keep that worry in your thinkpan til we can sort that shit out  
ET: bet everything is fine anyway just cause some things are stressed doesnt mean it aint shit to be getting worried  
AA: got that PRETTY PALE SIS  
ET: ♢  
AA: ♢  
  
EmeticThresh [ET]  has ceased trolling ApokálypsisAscension [AA]   
  


* * *

  
  
JinglingJuggernaut [JJ]  has begun trolling DiophantineFlux [DF]   
  
JJ: oi oi oi! get that ass on here, there's some epic shit going on!   
DF: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE IS THIS ABOUT YOUR DAMN BROKEN FRIDGE AGAIN¿   
DF: I TOLD YOU, JUST BUY A NEW ONE AND IF THEY GIVE YOU SHIT TELL ME AND I'LL GOT PUT MY BOOT UP ALLURE'S ASS AGAIN.   
DF: HE'S A RIGHT BITCH AT TIMES❣ I DON'T CARE HOW BLUE HE THINKS HE IS.   
JJ: nah nah nah, it's not that!   
JJ: but heck heck heck, have you seen whats happening?   
JJ: i heard it from my workmates and one heard it from her matesprit who heard it through their contact who heard it from an admiral.   
DF: UGH.   
DF: REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU LISTENED TO THIS SHIT¿   
DF: IT ENDED UP WITH A PISSED OFF CLOWN AND ONE OF YOUR FUCKING EARS CUT OFF❣   
DF: THANK FUCK HIS MOIRAIL WAS MATESPRITS WITH MY AUSPISTICE BEFORE HE KILLED US ALL SO THAT SETTLED HIM DOWN A BIT❣  
DF: BUT YOU STILL HAD TO OFFER UP YOUR EARS AS AN APOLOGY. OR DID YOU FORGET THAT ALREADY¿   
JJ: haah haah haah i remember! but i don't mind at least the clown accepted it!  
JJ: have to keep the quadrants happy, you know?   
JJ: and say what you want about clowns but they cherish their quadrants rather severely!   
JJ: it's sweet   
DF: CAN IT, YOU'RE BOTHERING ME FOR A REASON.   
JJ: yeah yeah yeah!   
JJ: have you been on the alien planet yet?   
DF: ONLY A FEW HOURS YESTERDAY.   
DF: I THINK IT WAS ON THE WEST¿ WE WERE TRYING TO DIG OUT ONE OF THEIR WEIRD UNDERGROUND CITIES BUT THAT SHIT IS HOLED UP TIGHT.   
DF: EVEN THE YELLOWS WE HAD WITH US COULDN'T BLAST THROUGH AND ONE OF THE LITTLE SHITS MANAGED TO HEADSHOT ONE OF THEM WHILE WE WERE ON A BREAK. ASSHOLES❣  
JJ: aw aw aw! they're so fucking cute!   
JJ: but that's what i wanna talk to you about!   
JJ: do you want to own one?   
DF: EH¿   
JJ: one of the aliens aliens aliens!   
JJ: you know how we've been sent planetside to track down some stragglers?   
DF: YEAH, WHAT OF IT¿   
JJ: we found a few holed up in a weird cave system??? i think they called it a mine or something- weird alien shit in there  
JJ: but we managed to catch a few and the slavers showed up to take over after we trapped them inside through a rockslide rockslide rockslide!   
DF: CLEVER.   
JJ: =8)   
JJ: but but but! that's the news news news!   
JJ: because we managed to trap a bunch the slavers got in a really good haul!   
JJ: so we're being offered a discount on buying from that batch!   
JJ: i already checked them over and they're all in good condition!   
JJ: obviously not broken in so they're all a bit wild wild wild but that would be half the fun.   
JJ: interested?   
DF: HM.   
JJ: i mean, you've been talking about getting a pet for a while while while and these aliens are apparently trainable once you tame them.   
DF: IS THERE LIKE A MANUAL OR SOMETHING FOR THEM¿   
DF: OR IS IT KINDA 'FEEL YOUR WAY THROUGH' OR WHAT¿   
JJ: i've seen a lot of guides going around but apparently it really depends on the alien itself =8/   
JJ: weridly weirdly weirdly varied!   
JJ: ugh ugh ugh typo my bad   
JJ: but i'm still planetside and we're looking through some of the crates with the aliens inside!   
JJ: they're a bit weird looking but they'll make do   
DF: I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL HAVE THE TIME TO TRAIN ONE.   
JJ: well well well they taste good as well!   
JJ: even if their blood is creepy but it's soft and tasty!   
JJ: a teammate cooked one up for dinner and it was good good good!   
JJ: you have to try it!!!   
DF: WELL I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO COOK LATELY.   
DF: I'VE MAINLY BEEN EATING THAT SLOP SHIT WHICH IS JUST VOMIT WORTHY IN ALL HONESTY.   
JJ: sure sure sure we   
DF: WHAT¿   
DF: ...   
DF: WHY AREN'T YOU REPLYING¿ I CAN SEE YOU'RE STILL ONLINE.   
DF: ...   
DF: UGH AT LEAST SAY GOODBYE BEFORE YOU FUCK OFF, THIS SHIT IS RUDE I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.   
DF: _RUDE._   
JJ: shut up alien trash your green asshole friend is dead and the rest of your kind is next!!!!!   
  
JinglingJuggernaut [JJ]  has ceased trolling DiophantineFlux [DF]   
  
DF: BITCH❣❣❣❣   


* * *

  
  
canteringTorricellian [CT]  has begun trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   
  
CT: |)=> Rose.   
CT: |)=> Hi.   
TT: Equius.   
TT: Hello.   
CT: |)=> If I am imposing, I can speak later if you wish it.   
TT: No no, it's fine. Not really doing much except brooding and crying over here.   
CT: |)=> Oh.   
CT: |)=> Forgive me, I should have assumed you were still distressed over your lost mare and her missing hoof.  
CT: |)=> I can leave if you wish to be alone with your grief.  
TT: I think being alone is the last thing any of us need.   
TT: So please, ask what you want.   
CT: |)=> Well.  
CT: |)=> Even as we speak we are getting closer to your solar system- from Captor's speculations we should be there within a week of your human time, yet after those days it will become difficolt. I am unable to speculate the exact date as my companions previously mentioned. So some certain days, more or less.  
CT: |)=> However while getting to your system is proven to be relatively easy, I fear actually reaching your planet shall be the most difficolt aspect of our quest. Though I am now doubt boring you with that repetitiousness complaint.  
TT: How so? Is the empire presence with Earth that intense?   
CT: |)=> It is. Your species is the first invadable one since coltscription.  
TT: What do you mean?   
CT: |)=> Well.  
CT: |)=> For a breed to be considered appropriate for an invasion they must meet certain criteria- that is, they are technically advanced enough to either be space faring or close enough to it.   
CT: |)=> Or be considering 'tough' enough if they don't fit that.  
CT: |)=> There are still planets where alien species are alive and fighting back, but your species is the first to be encountered since coltscription which marks a special occasion.  
CT: |)=> And your species is proven to be a particular challenge.  
CT: |)=> Which is actually considered a boon by the empire, as it means they can weed out the weak of those taken within coltscription.  
TT: I see.   
CT: |)=> But with most news I bring, I doubt it brings you comfort.  
TT: Obviously.   
TT: Though at least we know we're giving the empire a run for their money.   
TT: We humans are tough- we will go out with a roar rather than a whimper.   
TT: If we go at all.   
CT: |)=> A life lived in fear is scarcely a life at all yet a life all the same.  
CT: |)=> But one in fear is exhausting so you either must fight and be prepared to die, or might as well crawl into a corner of shadows and perish from your own fright.  
CT: |)=> While I do not spook easily, I am exhausted from the hiding, the fleeing and uncertainty.  
CT: |)=> It has a way of wearing you down, making you so tired to the point sometimes you wonder why you are even bothering to remain alive.  
CT: |)=> Which, needless to say, is only exacerbated by the choices you must make to survive- ones you accept yet do not forgive.  
TT: True.   
TT: I just wish for it to end- I've had enough of fighting through that terrible game and thought it was over and done with.   
TT: Though I admit it was rather jarring the timing. Did you know the empire invaded the Earth on the tenth year anniversary of us defeating SBURB?   
CT: |)=> I admit, I did not know that. Curious indeed.   
CT: |)=> All of your group survived to that age?   
TT: Yes, all of us. Including our guardians.   
TT: Well naturally Jade's usual guardian Bec was not recovered though her grandfather was.   
CT: |)=> Ah, the one Nitram slayed.   
TT: Yes.   
TT: Which is another reminder of how invasive you all were back then.  
CT: |)=> Indeed.   
TT: But that aside, did your lusus- or lusii? -remember SBURB at all? Or SGRUB, I guess it would be named on your end. For our ones did, our guardians. Parents.  
TT: They remembered, even if most died within it. I know my elder self, Roxy's mother, was brought back as was my own mother.   
TT: Naturally the alternative version of myself never met her daughter, she died at the Condesce's hand before she could and Roxy was born centuries after.   
TT: If...that makes sense.   
TT: Forgive me, I'm rambling.   
CT: |)=> There is nothing to forgive, this is fascinating to learn of your situation.   
CT: |)=> But as a reply, no, our lusus had no recollection of the Game which claimed their lives or when they were temporarily sprites.   
CT: |)=> Aurthour, my lusus, did not understand any of my questioning. Though I could only ask a few days before coltscription as I was too mentally vacant to do so until Nepeta's aid helped me regain my bearings. But they did not remember.   
CT: |)=> I suspected Megido's may have, but the lusus of Rust have always had strange psychics towards the dead such as the caste they perform their guardianship upon.   
CT: |)=> The dead speak of strange things many don't understand- it seems many are like those who'd been caught within the dreambubbles, yet unlike those these ones left behind are just akin to whispers as Megido tells it. They lack the substance and after some time they vanish into the wind until all that remains of them are the trolls who recall them. Otherwise they are lost forever.   
CT: |)=> I fear many things were lost when we escaped the game- either for good or bad it's still uncertain, but it's a change nonetheless.   
TT: Well this world is not for the dead so it is better if they don't linger behind.   
TT: We certainly saw how distorted the dead grew if they never moved on; they turned stagnant, mad.   
CT: |)=> True.  
CT: |)=> Did your human world have ghosts?  
CT: |)=> I confess, I am still quite ignorant to the psychics and other such abilities your kind could possess.  
CT: |)=> Equius died before he could physically meet any of you and Horuss was too...vacant...to take much notice beyond his obsessions.  
CT: |)=> I've gathered as much information from my companions yet it still sorely lacks much about your race. I am rather unimpressed by the negligent manner in which Maryam, Pyrope and Vantas acted around your species; they were more worried with engaging in frivolous affairs and foalish actions than any kind of helpful research.  
TT: I...   
CT: |)=> Forgive me, I'm speaking cruelly.   
TT: No, you have a point. God knows I was useless, being an alcoholic desire knowing what was in store for us when we reached the new session.   
CT: |)=> Nonetheless, I wish to apologize for my thoughtless words.   
CT: |)=> You were under pressure and naught but wigglers.  
TT: There is still truth to your words; we were thoughtless, useless.   
TT: I saw what could happen, and I chose to be drunk and negligent.  
TT: I will never forgive myself if my stupidity and thoughtless costs one of my family's life through horrific torture.   
TT: I could've discovered the relationship between Gamzee and Jane and helped do...i don't know, something besides being fucking stupid and an absolute liability.  
CT: |)=> If you wish to blame anyone, blame us. Our absolute failures tainted your session and you were left adrift with a tactless imbecile, a bloodthirsty undead and a serial killer.  
TT: ...   
CT: |)=> Ah, excuse me. I'm letting anger cloud my reasoning and I'm being tactless and rude.   
CT: |)=> I'm am still just terribly enraged over Nepeta. I can typically reign in my fury when with them but speaking to an...outsider has made my tact run loose.   
TT: Please, don't fear judgement on my part. God knows I'm complaining to you so fear none from me.  
TT: But serial killer? Were you talking about Gamzee?  
CT: |)=> No; to my understanding Makara only killed myself and Nepeta.  
CT: |)=> Well and Pyrope, but that was in self defense to my understanding as she attacked him first.  
CT: |)=> But I was referring to Pyrope; she, along with Serket, killed hundreds while they LARPed as the 'Scourge Sisters'.  
CT: |)=> Serket killed for her lusus, to feed it, while Pyrope killed those she deemed unjust.  
CT: |)=> Which, incidentally, meant she had even less reason than Serket to commit those acts.  
TT: Interesting; Terezi made no mention of this fun little fact.   
CT: |)=> I assume she also made no mention that she killed your Heir in one timeline because she found his trusting nature amusing?  
TT: ...No, she didn't mention that either.  
CT: |)=> I believe a spliced sprite which was orange, feathered and part of your Knight was hatched of that session.  
TT: Davesprite.   
TT: Well, that explains him. I never really met him and I imagine the Rose of that timeline was in unpleasant circumstances, left alone to rot. Stupid fucking Seer memories, it all just merges together at one point and is about as clear as custard.  
TT: Were there any trolls who _weren't_ murderers?   
CT: |)=> Well I wasn't, but that does not mean I acted in a harmless manner.  
TT: Still, you weren't a murderer.  
TT: I know Kanaya killed someone but he killed her so it...cancelled itself out.  
CT: |)=> Ampora.   
TT: Yes.   
CT: |)=> Hard to have Hope when the Prince chooses the Empire.  
CT: |)=> Then again, Ampora has always greatly favoured the Empire out of us all so it shouldn't have been such a surprise he chose that pasture.   
TT: Hm.  
TT: An unfortunate circumstance.   
TT: Though honestly, going through the past makes me wonder how many times they lied to us.   
TT: Or are currently lying.  
CT: |)=> Pexies is sincere in challenging the Condesce.  
TT: That's a comfort.   
CT: |)=> I myself am fed up with my lying companions, and if it weren't my sense of duty towards fixing our errors I would've left along with Nepeta.  
CT: |)=> Hn. Not good conversation.   
TT: It's exhausting. I understand feeling vindictive and spiteful.  
TT: I'll probably scream at the other trolls if they contact me. It's a good way to relieve stress.  
CT: |)=> You can scream at me if you wish.   
TT: You I don't mind.  
CT: |)=> I confess, I am not without error; while I never killed I committed abhorrent acts.  
CT: |)=> Notably my behoofvior towards Nitram and Megido in the past.   
CT: |)=> Megido especially.  
TT: What did you do, if you don't mind me asking?   
CT: |)=> I attempted to violate her free will.   
TT: I see...   
CT: |)=> It was moreso through creating a new body for herself with my engineering prowess and I programmed the bot to have feelings for me because I was excited at the prospect of having a 'filthy rustblood' command me.   
TT: ...   
CT: |)=> Yes, it was abhorrent- however I deleted that aspect from my personality after the Game and then I begged for Megido's forgiveness.   
CT: |)=> Obviously she did not forgive me at first yet I took pains to prevent myself from ever imposing upon another and she eventually graced me with her forgiveness for my pass transgression of her will.   
TT: At least you decided me make amends. That's more than most, I suppose.   
CT: |)=> Indeed.   
CT: |)=> Likewise when I met Makara within the Empire while I was still affillyated with them I apologized to him for my previous behaviour and he forgave me.  
TT: So you did meet him?   
CT: |)=> Briefly.   
CT: |)=> It was moreso in passing anyway.   
CT: |)=> First time I had met him as an adult.   
CT: |)=> He is...   
CT: |)=> Large.   
TT: That's one way to say it.   
TT: I'm so tired, Equius.   
TT: I'm tired of being Blind, of my family being in peril.   
TT: I was tired of fighting and thought I had finished with it all after that horrid Game died but here we are.   
CT: |)=> Yes, and it's because of us.   
CT: |)=> If you get the chance to kill the Empress then do so.   
CT: |)=> Our race going extinct is what we deserve.   
TT: I know.   
TT: The war has barely been going on for a month and a half and everything is just shit.   
TT: I hope when the Empress does die she burns in whatever Hell there is.   
TT: Not sure of the troll equivalent.   
CT: |)=> I think many do.   
TT: Ah, this conversation had shifted for the worse I fear.   
TT: I think I should leave it, and see if there's any updates. Or maybe just have a nap. I don't know.   
CT: |)=> I believe so too- I am unsure as to where Nepeta went.   
TT: Then I shall speak to you at a later date.   
CT: |)=> Indeed.   
CT: |)=> Good luck.   
TT: And to you too.   
  
canteringTorricellian [CT]  has ceased trolling theosophicalTheia [TT]   
  


* * *

Sitting alone in her room before her computer Rose blinked back tears. She failed, a few slipped free and slid down her cheeks before she quickly dashed them away with the heel of her palm. Everything felt raw and tingly, like a wound that had barely healed. After a long moment of staring at the computer screen she shoved herself backwards and got up, honey-yellow dressing gown tugged tight against her. Rose had retired to her room for the evening, exhausted and rundown from no word of Jane and more raids from the Empire. She'd been hoping to loose herself in the conversation with Equius but then the conversation turned and it grew extremely apparent Equius was just as bitter and tired as the humans. 

His admittance that he would've left if not for his sense of duty made some tragic sense, but Rose never would have expected he had such volatile views towards his crewmates. Then again, they'd lied to him about the abduction and torture of a troll he held dear so it was little wonder he was so bitter. Face twisted into a frown, Rose rummaged inside the small fridge carved within the wall and taking out a small jug of orange juice.

Rose's room was more natural than many of the others, keeping the jagged curves of a natural grotto still prominent in its shape. Thick vines snaked across the ceiling, occasionally dotted with lights and a few small stalactite hung from the roof like blunted incisors. At the far end of the room was a deep pool of clear water and a small natural stream trickled from the wall and fed down into the pool. Sipping on the juice, she went and sat on the smooth slab of stone of edge wall of the pool, absentmindedly dipping her toes into the cool water. 

Rose was unbothered by the cold- her body temperature always seemed to be higher than any of the rest of her family's and she speculated it had to do something with her Aspect. As such her body core always ran hot and Jade sometimes teased her, saying she was living hot water bottle and thus 'perfect' for cuddling. Even now the room was cool and she only clad in a thin dressing gown with the water being spring water it was cold but she was unbothered by it.

All of them had spent many weeks through the decade after SBURB speculating on just how much the Game had changed them and Rose would hazard to guess they were now as different from average humans as trolls were. It was a sobering realization but one Rose couldn't deny after facing all the facts; the Game had imbued them with their Godtier Aspects so thoroughly that even when they weren't using their powers the Aspect would manifest through them.

Jade had insisted before that Rose would literally glow with happiness whenever she was especially overjoyed and likewise Rose would occasionally catch a glimpse of galaxies and nebulae in the Witch's wild black hair- a phenomena always so much stronger whenever the Witch used her Space powers.

John would sometimes move in ways that were too fluid, with a sinuous ease like the wind that would make him seem boneless and eerie at times. Dave was in sharp contrast, his movements sometimes jerky and twitchy like stuttering clockwork and whenever someone peered closely into the Knight's eyes the odd shadows of gears could be seen spinning within his crimson iris. Dirk was different, sometimes being so still he could be mistaken for a statue but would give sparks if someone grabbed him. Roxy would fade into the background if she didn't draw attention to herself; not even while using her Void powers it was just so easy to overlook the Rogue whenever she wasn't actively engaging someone else. Jake was the most vibrant of them all, with something deeply engaging about the man whenever he spoke and his overly exaggerated movements which Rose speculated tied in with his Aspect of Hope.

It wasn't something Rose noticed at first, most likely because she was so used to it but when any of them were matched with a normal human being their differences became so much more obvious.

_Jane was..._

Rose's thoughts trailed off as images seared into her mind with the blistered heat of the sun, making her groan with pain and nearly drop the orange juice. The sudden, heady flashes had gotten worse as the war between human and trolls stretched on- and since it was nearing two months since the Empire had invaded Rose was quite frankly getting sick of it. If it was actually helpful information she wouldn't have minded the sporadic mental onslaught, but it was usually just a wild jumble of images, thoughts and sensations she typically couldn't make heads of tails of. Some she could- occasionally recognizing her family or even the SGRUB trolls, who looked so different from what she remembered. Others however were of trolls she'd never seen, of aliens species she'd never met. Others were just flashes of colours accompanied by a myriad of feelings. Others were of eyes, voices and words she couldn't understand. Some were useful, telling her where raids would happen, of safe spots and how to escape troll attacks but they were rare indeed.

A few in particular felt like bad omens, not visions of fortune- of an scrawny troll with a wooden smile and a sense of great emptiness emanating from him, a strange temple covered in text and twisting images of black ink, of great humming wings and sword-like teeth, of violet eyes and swirling white. She made sure to record each and every vision she received, spending hours attempting to decipher them but to no success. It seemed those visions were much like traditional prophesies; that is, they made no sense until it came to pass and suddenly everything slotted into place.

With a groan Rose stood up and swallowed down the last of the orange juice before sticking the empty jug into her sylladex. She stretched, spine popping, before ambling over to her bed and flopping down into it. Her bed was more akin to a bowl, carved from one of the walls with a nest of thick blankets coiled within so she gave a huff and burrowed into the blankets. Most she could remember knitting or making herself, usually as a way to stave off boredom but a few times she'd knitted what she'd Seen into the quilts. Another sigh, bone deep and exhausted, and she rolled onto her back to stare aimlessly up at the ceiling.

Thick clusters of violets, ambrosia, chrysanthemum, snapdragon, and all manner of camellias grew across the roof, walls and various parts of the floors while infusing the crisp air with a soothing mixture of scents. It was mainly Jade- both Alpha and Beta -who'd aided in genetically evolved so many breeds of flowers in being able to survive in the conditions within the underground cities, able to thrive in minimal sunlight and soil. Their scent mixed with the bubble of the clear spring water and natural shape of the room created a deep tranquil vibe to the entire area. 

However Rose felt nothing of the serenity the room should imbue within her. She felt nothing but disgust in that moment; disgust for herself and how useless she was.

What was the point of a Seer if she could hardly ever See?

* * *

Rose fell asleep like that, twisting and tossing on her bed. Her dreams with thick with vague images, eyes, bland smiles and impressions of danger and hope. It was nearing the third hour of her restless sleep when someone entered the room, gazing at her in concern before they made their way to her bed, sitting on the side before gently stroking at the Seer's brow. At the soft, repetitious motion Rose's furrowed features slowly relaxed and after a moment her eyelids flickered open. She smiled when she realized it was Jade who was leaning over her, the Witch's face tight with concern and affection.

She blinked, gazing up at Jade's concerned eyes; while she'd always been fond of purple prose, she wasn't exaggerating in comparing Jade's green eyes to jewels. They held an eerie sparkle within them, as if her irises contained the light of stars. Yet another byproduct of her Aspect of space.

"Hey you..." Rose's voice was slightly raspy from sleep.

Jade smiled before leaning down and half rolling on top of Rose, making the Seer giggle as the Witch squirmed on top of her, trying to get comfortable. By the time she was done Jade's legs were tangled with Rose's, arms wrapped around her body and forehead resting against hers. Rose exhaled slowly while enjoying Jade's proximity and heat. The Witch was only wearing lime green boxers and a white singlet and Rose's dressing gown was thin enough Jade's warmth quickly seeped into her. 

"So hows it?" Jade eventually asked, eyes partially lidded.

"Not that good," Rose admitted, rubbing her nose against Jade's, "I spoke with Equius and he is...not happy. Our whole talk just ended up with us raging and bitching about everything."

"Yeah well, lots of things to bitch about I guess."

"So no updates on Jane?"

Jade's mouth twisted down, "No, not since that hand showed up in the mail. Jake was so bad Grandma had to tranquilize him. He's been in hysterics and she's taking guard over him."

"I think...she would be capable of regrowing a hand," Rose said carefully, "Considering what she'd healed before."

"Yeah, doesn't mean that didn't hurt like a bitch. Like I know Janey's tough but it looked like her hand had been fucking ripped off or something. I swear, when I get my hands on that Vulnus fucker he's gonna die screaming."

Jade's voice was a snarl, lips curled back to show elongated incisors while her dog ears flattened against her skull and Rose reached up a hand and stroked at her face until some of the aggression dropped from the Witch's face. The Seer felt so very tired but she forced herself to say, "Rescue first, revenge later."

"Yeah I know, not gonna help anyone if I end up dead. Grandpa went on a thing about that after we told him about the...package. The fuck is wrong with trolls."

"I don't know."

"Hn. Speaking of which...have you Seen anything with Jane?" Jade's voice was completely neutral, without any expectation and Rose felt ashamed. 

"No," she admitted, "I...I can't make out anything. Everything is just vague. I've written down or drawn what I've seen, and I _have_ seen some trolls in my visions lately, but none of them are ones I recognize. None of our ones, at least."

"Given my mood I'd give 'our' trolls a fucking hiding if I saw them," Jade grumbled.

"Yeah well, it's a pain in the ass. I can't See shit. What use is a blind Seer?"

"Terezi made do."

"She was also a serial killer but who the fuck out of the trolls weren't," Rose said bitterly. So much for her considering them 'friends' when they seemed to never tell the humans their history and just hid everything from them.

"Eh?"

"Oh just some shit Equius told me. He's...very angry at his fellow trolls. Does a remarkable job of hiding it, though he confessed that if it weren't for his sense of duty he would've just abandoned the rebellion and left with Nepeta."

"For what it's worth I'm glad he's there," Jade said, squirming closer to Rose and nuzzling her hair, "At least he's admitting they all fucked right up and considering Nepeta...Yeah, I'd be livid as well."

"They were saving their own skins. I'm impressed Equius didn't punch any of them. He remade himself though, which is admirable."

"Yeah I read that pesterlog- _two_ classes? Gotta be wild."

"Sounds annoying," Rose muttered, "Just having one is confusing enough."

"It's that Game, who designs a game that doesn't have fucking instructions?"

"A sadist is who. Considering some of the memories I gained from my Doomed selves..." Rose trailed off, remembering the crushing loneliness she would catch from various timelines, of how sometimes she'd be driven to suicide after the deaths of all her friends and the prospect of languishing forever. Pity she had not known of the dreambubbles then, which were a punishment within themselves.

"How many timelines were there?" Jade mumbled into Rose's hair, sniffing slightly.

Rose shrugged as best she was able with Jade wrapped around her, thoughts pulling inevitably to the Game. It had changed them all- for better or worse or a mix -but it certainly still had a tight hold of them. At least some of them had abilities that were more useful, even if Rose knew many of her suggestions- such as mandatory strife training for humanity and the creation of their underground cities - had saved millions, even billions, but Rose still felt like she'd failed for not Seeing the war to begin with.

"Actually...that has been something I've been meaning to speak to you about," Rose finally said. With some reluctance she untangled herself from Jade, making the Witch groan unhappily, and sat up on the nest. Jade, after some grumbling, sat up as well with her legs crossed. She scratched at her white dog ears before giving Rose an inquisitive look.

"It was one of the last conversations I really had with Jane," Rose admitted, "You know, before she met Gamzee in that square and got in a fight with him?"

"Yeah, and?"

"It...well, it turned into a conversation about the trolls. I know I've always been steadfast that they were alive, a gut instinct that has since been proven correct, but it was also about you."

Jade blinked, "Uh, what did I do wrong?"

"No, it wasn't what you did," Rose quickly assured her, "It was um. More about Kanaya."

"Oh." Jade's face was impossible to read, though her ears twitched sporadically.

Rose struggled to explain herself, feeling vaguely self conscious, "I just. You know about having vivid memories of other timelines, since you were part sprite at one point right? Which is...almost like a glimpse to what a Seer could See. And...and one thing, one timeline, I could remember almost was one with Kanaya. It...grew more vivid lately, I think, with the actual trolls contacting us. I don't know what kind of timeline it was, but for some reason it seemed to be a different one where we lived back the Game. Yet it was _different._ There was someone else with us, some strange green alien, there were Consorts and carapacians. There was Prospit and Derse there. And..."

She trailed off, feeling her face heat up. Jade gently brushed a stray strand of hair from the Seer's brow, giving her a soft smile as she said, "It's okay Rose."

"And I saw that I'd married Kanaya," Rose blurted out, "I could see and smell everything so vividly with that vision. She'd been wearing this lovely white dress and veil, holding a bouquet of red and white roses. I had been wearing a tailored suit with a pink dress shirt and tie. I could _feel_ the fabric of the suit, I could feel the sun on me, I could feel the ring on my finger. I could smell the roses," She finished, glancing away from Jade's face in shame.

"Rose..." the Seer jerked back from the Witch's attempt to make her face her, so the Witch grabbed the side of Rose's face and tugged her back. Rose's protest died on her lips as Jade's own lips covered hers, the kiss soft and sweet. When she pulled back some of the guilt on Rose's face had left and the Witch felt her heart swell with affection.

"Rose," Jade tried again, "Did you think I would be angry?"

"I don't know. I was just...that vision, it was so vivid," Rose said, "It was so much more _real_ than the others. I felt like, urgh, I felt like I had been leading you on."

"What for? For some shit you did in a different timeline? In one timeline I'm pretty sure I accidentally killed Dave and John. At least all you did was get married," Jade replied.

"It's not that, it's just with Kanaya back..."

"You thought I would think you'd run off with a teenage flame?" Jade said, terseness entering her voice.

Rose grimaced, "I know, I'm sorry. It's stupid and childish. I just..." she hung her head, hair obscuring her face as she muttered, "I just don't want to lose you."

Jade's next kiss was more demanding and forceful and Rose immediately reciprocated, wrapping her arms around Jade's shoulders and kissing the Witch back. When they finally parted Rose was breathing heavily, face flushed. Jade nuzzled at her throat with a hum, pulling Rose up onto her lap as she cuddled her.

"You're not gonna lose me, Rose," Jade told her, voice fierce, "You're not gonna lose me. Fuck the trolls and fuck the Empire. I'll kill them all first then _we'll_ get fucking married. We'll only invite Equius and Nepeta though. Maybe Aradia. Rest of the trolls can fuck right off."

"Well if Gamzee does help Jane, we should invite him too," Rose joked.

"Heh, you'll have to make his suit. That fucker is huge."

She snorted into Jade's hair while running her hands down the Witch's back and feeling the various tiny scars that littered her body, remnants of when she'd been killed in an explosion by Clubs Deuce so long ago. Rose's thoughts turned contemplative as she stroked Jade's spine, thinking over Jade's declaration of them getting married. They'd been dating for years, and she could still remember when she'd first confessed her feelings to Jade. It hadn't been exactly romantic; they'd been on a trip through America and had stopped at the Route 66 Big Texan steak house, Jade having wanted to take the 72 oz steak challenge. She'd won it, having devoured the steak in only ten minutes to the complete amazement of the staff and Rose had stared at the Witch, mouth and fingers covered in sauce before she'd blurted out she'd wanted to date her. That lead to a fairly messy makeout session before Jade ordered two more steaks and challenged Rose to it. She only made it half way through hers, and Jade ate the rest. 

It was a get-together that had been framed by Jade beaming while covered in sauce and holding Rose before the steak challenge board where she'd gained the new title of champion. Jade still had a picture of that in one of her rooms.

"Hey...Jade?" the Witch mumbled something, so Rose continued, "Did you mean what you said before? About us getting married. I mean uh..." she stopped, feeling foolish.

Jade pulled herself away, a frown on her face. Rose felt as if she'd overstepped something but Jade seemed more contemplative than offended. Jade opened her mouth a few times, like she was about to say something before she suddenly got off the bed.

"Jade..?"

"It's fine, I just..." she began to pace, muscles rippling underneath her skin as she moved while Rose watched her in concern from where she was still sitting among her nest of blankets.

"I'm sorry if I said something, I was just being stupid I guess. Little girl fantasies I've had for so long, having a cliche wedding with all the flowers and gowns and...well alright, I prefer the suit since you know me and dress suits, but everything-"

"Rose, it's okay," Jade turned to face her, expression pensive.

"You could just ignore I said that," Rose said quickly.

"I don't want to," Jade turned away from her, black hair swirling around her like a storm cloud, "I mean...a part of me wonders about that vision but to me it really doesn't matter in the long run. You love me and I love you."

"Of course, I just thought you should know," Rose's voice was quiet and she tugged her dressing gown more firmly around herself, "I just didn't want you to think I was hiding something from you. Especially with this war. I don't want us to grow divided or...I don't know, something. I'm just afraid for all of us and I think that's just making me so wound up and fussy over silly little things."

"You're right about that, this war is taking its toll on us." Jade said, voice soft. She had turned away from Rose, fiddling with something out of sight that she'd pulled from her sylladex. Rose frowned, going to ask what was wrong with Jade continued, "I know that we could all die in this war- that we could lose. I'm so hoping we won't, I'm hoping we're gonna be the species who finally goes 'fuck you' to the Empire and puts our boots right up their asses but another part of my believes that won't happen. That this war will result in humans becoming extinct."

"Jade..."

The Witch shook her head, thick black hair swirling around, "I had actually wanted to do this after the whole anniversary party. But that fucker Condesce yanked it out from under us so I didn't have time."

"What do are you talking about?" Rose began to feel nervous.

Jade glanced over at her shoulder at the Seer, eyes bright and gleaming, "I love you. I know that. I've known that for years. This terrible war isn't gonna change that, neither will your visions or whatever happened in different timelines."

Rose blinked, blushing heavily, "I know, I love you as well Jade."

Smiling faintly Jade turned back to whatever she was holding, saying quietly, "I spent some time with Grandma for this. You know how we started harvesting asteroids? I...I figured it would be fitting but it took me months to find the right one. I finally found some from a pallasite meteorite. Grandma said it was extraterrestrial peridot. It's from within a matrix of meteoritic iron, from a creation of space. It matches how we...how we made this universe though beating that fucking Game. How we're now something not really of this Earth anymore."

"Jade I don't..." Rose choked back her words when Jade turned around and the Seer finally got a look at what Jade was holding; it was the mistakable shape of an engagement ring box.

"And I also know there is no one else I would rather have by my side. But if we do die, I know I don't want you by my side as my girlfriend, my lover, but as my wife."

Rose was completely dumbstruck as Jade approached her, sitting on the edge of the bed and opening the small box. Inside was a ring, the stone being a honey-yellow but shot through with meteoritic iron like streaks of mercury. The stone was beautiful and when Rose touched it with the tip of a finger it had the juxtaposition of smooth and rough. Much like how SBURB had left them.

"So, Rose Lalonde, would you give me the honour of being my wife and I yours?" Jade's voice was wrought with nervousness and when Rose glanced up from the ring to the Witch's face she could see how apprehensive she was, at the fear of being rejected.

"I um, I don't have a ring to give to you," Rose said, rather dazed.

"You can make me one once we win this war," Jade replied, a tentative smile crossing her face, "Make it out of the Condesce's bones or something."

"Oh uh, okay, okay, we can do that."

"So that's...?"

"Yes, yes I will marry you," Rose blurted out, face bright red.

Jade kissed her then, nearly yanking her right off the bed and when she pulled back the Witch's green eyes were literally sparkling like a nebulae of stars. Jade dropped the ring twice trying to get it onto Rose's finger and Rose herself was laughing and crying in equal measure. Her memory of the timeline where she'd been wedded to a different woman faded at the vibrancy and absolutely joy Jade radiated, and the Witch kissed her repeatedly as she slid the ring onto Rose's finger.

It was a perfect fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Extraterrestrial peridot.](http://geology.com/gemstones/gems-from-space/pallasite-meteorite.jpg)


	36. Grand Highblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this chapter back in November lol but anyway, it's the last 'flashback/history' chapter so huzzah! I bet some of you guys are fed up with them.
> 
> Guest starring [Cirean Sieren](http://mesmiraculouslymirthful.tumblr.com/post/143333008608/your-name-is-cirean-sieren-and-you-are-royalty) and [Aztera Kallad](http://tinyliltnt.tumblr.com)
> 
> Shout out to [Gamjane](http://gamjane.tumblr.com/) for explaining how trolls would be able to create [blood infused lipstick](http://swimmingferret.tumblr.com/post/155754223963/gamjane-swimmingferret-big-bad-grimbark) and here's a commish I got of [GHB Gamzee!](http://roceemo.tumblr.com/post/163378063528/commission-for-swimmingferret-who-i-for-some)

"As the new Grand Highblood you will be shifted into the traditional quarters of the High Subjugglator. As per tradition, the original decoration and effects of your predecessor was taken to the museum. Feel free to add your own decorations and possessions. You also have a painting room that Lovely- our head Bleeder whom you've already met in passing -has already made sure is well stocked. Here, let me show you." 

Priest's movements were slow and calm as he led Gamzee through the rooms. They were vast and extreme depersonalized, with bare walls and scant furniture. Despite that, the facilities were clearly built for someone of his height and bulk, something he appreciated. Priest carried on until he opened another door to another room. The hallway was long, with clean bare walls. Gamzee pressed a large palm against it, idly running his hand along the smooth surface.

"Paint whatever you wish," Priest huffed, shuffling along with his staff clacking rhythmically on the floor, "It's yours to do so. If you run out of paints then simply shoot Lovely a message and he'll fix you up with the finest quality in the Church."

Gamzee hummed thoughtfully, mind already swirling with various ideas for the potential paintings especially with the huge back wall. Priest shifted to the wall next to the doorway, tapping on a near invisible button next to the door frame. The slab of wall abruptly rotated around, revealing a plethora of tubes, tubs, mixing trays and various painting equipment. Priest's hands, while crooked and knotted like gnarled bark, were deft as he explained the function of all the equipment along with telling Gamzee more about the Bleeder Lovely and where he could find him. 

Priest gestured with carefully movements at the hall, "If you run out of room and don't wish to paint over current art, you can request the walls to be removed and replaced. Of course while you are still living, the paintings remain yours and you can just store them in your sylladex if you so want. When you die they shall be taken to the memorial."

"Huh."

"I actually meant to give this to you, as well," Priest smiled, tucking a hand into the voluminous sleeve of his robe and pulling out a hand-sized glass bottle. Within it, a bright green liquid slicked up at the neck of the bottle in sticky waves. He handed it over to a bemused Gamzee, who peered down at the bottle in curiosity.

"It's blood from the now-extinct limeblood trolls. There are few left who even remember them, before they were eradicated per that Empress's orders. Now only those with old memories and the scant vial left behind remember them. After their extinction, I had procured various bottles and gifted them to each Highblood. The rarest of blood- even more than a tyrian as the Condesce has occasionally donated the bodies of her slain heiresses and donated vials of her own blood to the Church. Now I believe only crimson outrank it in rarity, but those still exist as seen by that Vantas wiggler. Not extinct, unlike the limes."

"Why'd they die?"

"Because it was demanded. Well that, and an immunity to the Vast Glub along with some other things. So the Empress of that time ordered their eradication. But keep the blood- it's preserved, so there is no rush. Use it or simply keep it; your choice."

"I..." Gamzee eyed the lime green liquid, remembering when he held a tiny wiggler with big bright eyes the exact same hue, "I've got some idea of what I can up and use this miracle juice on."

Priest smiled at him, wrinkles creasing his face like tattered parchment, "I trust you will. But I would wager you'd enjoy some privacy. I know the last few days have been very busy."

Tucking the vial away in his sylladex Gamzee gave a grunt of agreement; it had been busy even by Church standards and there was a deep level of emotional upheaval still roiling about in his thinkpan he wanted to brood upon. Well, less brood and more contemplation.

Priest's hand was gentle on the crook of Gamzee's elbow, expression kind as he said, "But remember, we're here for you. It may seem like such a crushing weight, but you are not without pillars."

* * *

The next day Gamzee was entirely left alone to settle in his new chambers. It was bare to the point of scarce but everything was sufficiency large enough for his bulk which was enjoyable. He knew he would soon be called to do the duties of the Grand Highblood- even if he was still fairly unsure just what those duties entailed -but now he liked just wandering around his new hive and thinking over the ceremony. He also checked his facepaint in the reflection of one of the various gleaming steel walls, eyeing the jagged lines of the mask of the High Subjugglator and how it spiked around his eyes and mouth. It was a far cry from the basic paint of an initiate he'd worn for sweeps and the more elegant paint that Kurloz favoured. 

Eventually he got bored of that as well and went into the painting hall Priest showed him earlier. He eyed the clean tall walls, mentally shifting through various ideas for portraits. A most obvious one was Jane, but he was unsure if he'd get her right; her ghost had been looking off for a few sweeps as if his memory was failing her. But he wanted to paint her, as he had a strange vague idea of how she would look as a troll with blue wings and spoon-and-fork shaped horns for some reason. After some thought he mentally shifted through various pictures, of the Game, of Godtiers, of their Lands, of the enemies that plagued him, of their wigglers.

He remembered the unicorn, body white yet shimmering with all the colours of the rainbow. He remembered the Nocturne, mad and screaming in his prison. He remembered the rebels who attacked them and whipped Hestia across the face. He remembered their trials and enemies they faced, including the gigantic mutated Black King. He remembered the enslaved Condesce attacking the Godtiers and unleashing all kinds of psychic and psionic powers. He remembered the Empress snapping a Serket's neck. He remembered the sky exploding. He remembered his Goatdad. He rememberd his wigglers. 

He remembered Anura, the tiny frog who had threatened him with a spear made from reeds, of how she'd easily sat in his palm. Of her lecturing him about the great frog who held the universe in his belly.

Thinking of that, Gamzee raised his hand and started sketching out the bulbous shape of Bilious Slick.

* * *

The next few hours were devoted to working on the painting of the Genesis Frog, Gamzee loosing any real sense of time as he focused on his slowly forming portrait. He'd shifted until he was sitting cross legged on the floor, trying to sort out the webbed toes of Bilious Slick- he couldn't seem to get the tips just right and had to erase and try several times over.

Then he felt something hit the side of his head, soft but thrown with enough force it knocked him from his nearly vacant mood. He blinked, tearing his attention away from the painting as a piece of grubloaf went rolling past him before glancing up at the thrower; he recognized the buck fangs and hooked horns in an instant.

"Hey," Hestia said.

He blinked, "You've changed your outfit," he said out of nothing else to say.

"Can't I have a new look like you, asshole?" she said, but her grin and teasing tone took the bite out of her words. She swagged over to Gamzee and flopped down next to him, lips purple and jeweled eye sparkling in the light.

She'd changed, from her usual look of shorts, sneakers and overly-large shirts to a pleated skirt, knee high boots and a short-sleeved mesh shirt. More mesh covered her thighs and the finger-less gloves were made from the same material. Her hair was the same thing bushy cloud and her cat-eye glasses were the same though Gamzee noted she'd added a few purple gems to the flared tips that matched her lips.

"You ain't gonna carve your symbol in your chest like the needleman, are ya?" Gamzee asked after a moment of silence.

"Nah, not yet anyway," she pointed at her belt, which he noted had her triangular symbol etched into it. Then she gave Gamzee a nudge with her elbow, "Anyway I asked the Old Man Priest where you were and he told me I should go give ya a talk."

"'Bout what?"

"Eh, dunno. Figured he maybe just wanted me to be all 'don't you fuck this shit here up, no gettin' airs 'cause we're still here for ya and we're a fam' ya know? Usual Church stuff."

"Huh. Where's Koiboi?"

"Haven't seen him since the ceremony. Everyone's celebrating in their own way I guess, even if ya don't like parties. I mean, I totally do especially with that delicish bloodwine Jullar makes but some ain't likin' crowds and noise and shit which is Koiboi. He'll pop up though, like on trollian. I think he might be knittin' ya something." Hestia's face instantly clouded at that and she quickly said, "Uh, don't tell him I said that. Maybe he wants it a surprise so uh..."

"I'll act surprised," he assured her, smile toothy.

She grinned back, before some of the teasing left her round face and her tone became more sincere, "Ya holding up okay? Been a big week I guess, Grand Highblood and all. Fuck knows I'd loose my shit. I can't even find my socks some nights. Can't figure out how you'd figure this shit out even if there's some weird shit in that pan of yours that seems like...old, I guess. So ya all good?"

He thought her words over seriously, gnawing at his lower lip for a while before shrugging. That got him a punch in the shoulder by a skinny fist and a glare. 

"Bullshit, that's too vague. Maybe that's why the Old Man sent me over here to give ya an ass whooping-"

"Oi sis, I doubt Priest told you to beat me."

"Oh yeah? How 'bout we call him up and you can hear him say it. He even gave me a mace to beat you with," she said, pulling the long flanged weapon from her strife deck and ignoring how her symbol was stamped along the silver handle.

"Right, right," Gamzee decided to play along, amused, "Well since we're doing this mace-side feelin' jams shit I guess I gotta be telling I'm like...uh, kinda weird? I dunno how the fuck to spell it out, like just accepting but ain't stressed or like emotional and shit. Feeling fine."

"So numb?" Hestia seemed intrigued, "Kinda like how Koiboi gets when there's loads a noise and he like stops talking and just kinds stares at nothin'?"

"Eh, not really. More like I'm seeing shit but just not stressed or anything? Fuck I dunno, ain't making any sense I guess."

With a grunt Hestia got back up to her feet, spinning her mace around with practiced movements before propping it up on a bony shoulder, "Well okay time for food. Everyone's scattered after the ceremony 'cause we've got shit ta do, but we've still got a lot of motherfuckers about and after gettin' my wardrobe all sorted I figure ya need an upgrade."

Gamzee looked down at his clothes; his usual spotted pants and plain black shirt coloured with his symbol, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Nothing but it's casual, ya know? Old Man told me some shit, presentation 'cause ya the face of us Church for all the rest of them shitbloody fucks so gotta get ya a new look as well. Like matching ya paint. Do a bit of a makeover or whatever. You're in cahoots with our ragripper, ain't ya? On the Authority so I'm guess she'll jump at the chance to help you out prob free of charge like a uh 'Happy GHB night' gift."

"Um." Truthfully he didn't even remember who the ragripper on the Authority was- he remembered _seeing_ her but he hadn't spoken to her at all. He just remembered three horns and a glittery outfit before he was overwhelmed by everything else and then the whole events of him becoming Grand Highblood sufficiently distracted him. Hestia rolled her eyes- seeing the cobalt coloured jewel slide around in her left eye socket was always fascinating when she did that -before lightly smacking his horn, making him bare his teeth at her. She just glared and hit him again until he got up with a grumble.

However neither knew where the ragripper was and wandered aimlessly around the Subjugglator flagship for three hours. Gamzee was continuously stopped and eagerly spoken to by various clowns, including many hugs and kisses. He was used to the comradery of the Church at this point and eagerly reciprocated the physical affection. He even met another troll who was as large as he was and from the other's comment she used to the largest troll in the Empire until Gamzee molted and knocked her off the ranking. He guessed it was only because his horns were taller than hers, which curved down her back, that made him technically taller but it was nice to not have to look down on someone. Hestia, being short and scrawny, got annoyed with it due to the two easily towering over her. The other troll's diminutive friend however was the tiniest troll Gamzee had ever seen and remained perched on her back like a small imp. He, from his own puffed bragging, was the smallest troll in the fleet 'which is good for crawlin' inna places ta claw out them rebel fucks' in his own words.

Hestia would usually intervene, grabbing him and sometimes forcibly yanking on his hair to drag him away and yelling about needing to find the ragripper. Eventually the tiny Subjugglator they were speaking to informed them where the ragripper 'Button' was- she was fortunately still on the flagship, which was still docked on the planet used for the ceremony along with thousands of other clown vessels. After a lot of fumbling, getting lost and bad directions they managed to run into Eminor who led them directly to where Button was staying on the ship. The room she was in was completely covered with loose thread of every kind of colour- even the ceiling was covered and the light was from several small fires contained inside of translucent cages. Button here was sitting in the middle of the room, writing on a large notepad but she stopped what she was doing and gladly introduced herself to Gamzee when she spotted him.

Button was short with large ears, big eyes and almost delicate body frame. Her skin was the typical pitch black of an adult troll but had been rubbed over with some kind of glittery oil which made her skin shimmer whenever she moved. Her outfit seemed to be dozens of coils of golden silk and jewels, making her sparkle like a gem. The small oval glasses perched across her broad nose were also dotted with tiny pieces of diamond and amethyst.

At his request for a new outfit Button jumped into action, the golden gloves on her hands being equipped with three dimensional projection abilities on the bracelets. She explained the technology to him but honestly Gamzee never excelled at that so he just nodded along while Hestia got shoved to the back of the room much to her ire. Even after Button explained the whole thing he just guessed it was a means to show off her potential clothing, and while Subjugglators could create optical illusions they were uses for terror and he thought Button didn't want to terrorize him so he allowed her to do as she wished, rattling off various measurements and suggestions for his new outfit.

It was strange seeing the various clothes superposed over his actual outfit but he made himself pay attention to Button's words. Some of the clothes she suggested didn't fit, such as the various robes she cycled through and asked for his opinion on but he never really liked robes or dresses- he would just be constantly think he was going to trip over the swirling hems. Honestly he didn't really know how Koiboi did it without falling on his face but it wasn't a style he favoured.

Luckily Button picked up on his uncertainty and seemed to just go through basic clothing styles to avoid confusing him too much. He got to keep his usual style of pants, though Button got rid of the dull grey polka dots and instead being the scribbly outlines of indigo circles which apparently Kurloz favoured. Gamzee, being much of himself as Kurloz, saw no issue with it. His upper half took more time but eventually he decided on a sleeveless shirt with asymmetric patterns; the side on the right was lined with numerous tiny horizontal lines stretching around until they reached the thick vertical purple bar stretching from his neck to belt line. The left side was patterned with his symbol, large enough the top curves brushed the shoulder and neck while the looping tail rested above the belt before bleeding into the middle purple line. Button, after a few suggestions to make his outfit more 'personal' came with the idea of two pauldrons for either shoulder. They would protect the joint of his shoulders and provide some cover for his throat in a fight and he agreed along with a request to add a clown smiley to either side. Once that was done Button asked if there was anything else.

Gamzee had hesitated but remembered Lucile's lessons on fighting- that those prone to blocking would do well to invest in a shield or heavy gloves or vambraces to protect the limbs doing the shielding. It made him think of the time he caught that rebel greenblood's sword and shattered it in his hand sweeps back. He still wasn't sure how he broke the sword but he knew he had a habit of trying to _stop_ a weapon which meant he'd do well to go with Lucile's advice. So with that in mind he asked Button to show him some protective gear for his forearms and she eagerly went through the various styles. He settled for a basic pair that stretched from elbow to wrist- nothing fancy, thick or decorative but would at least cause resistance for weaponry. Button also provided a potential pattern, stripes mimicking the small ones on his shirt and a long bone-shaped pattern. He like the bone, remembering Kurloz's body suit he wore for billions of sweeps in the Dreambubbles.

He also requested that his belt be decorated with dozens of tiny bones. Kurloz liked them enough and Button had offered some advice on synchronizing an outfit. Of course, she assured him, it was simply her opinion and he was free to pick and choose. Like every Church member, their clothing was their choice. She was simply offering her own opinion. Gamzee didn't really have any opinion on clothing- it was clothes, that's all he cared for -so he didn't mind her interjections. 

Button assured him she'd be finished his outfit within the hour and send them to his new quarters when she was done. Before the little troll left, Gamzee remembered to ask her where the Bleeder for the Church was as Gamzee could recall Priest mentioning him and he guessed meeting all members of the Bloodied Authority was fairly important as the new Grand Highblood. Button gave him the location of the ship Lovely was on and Gamzee was on his way. Hestia left with a snort and dismissal- she and painting were not particularly friends -with her departing to go to the kitchens for a meal. Finding Lovely's ship was confusing as he was still used to the flagship being the only one he would be one but after a few more hours lost he stumbled upon it and greeted warmly.

Lovely was a bit odd, always wearing a gas mask and having a strange habit of bursting into songs whenever he got excited but he _did_ have a lovely voice that entranced Gamzee. He was shy to Lovely's attempt to coax him into singing as well but the other clown was supportive- according to him, singing was akin to painting but rather than using colour it was through notes to express creativity. It was an interesting way of reasoning and Gamzee guessed that Lovely's passion for singing aided in his way of viewing colours and paintings.

"Paints can have various textures, depending on how you treat them," Lovely had informed him, leading him through the huge factory making up a fairly large portion of Lovely's ship, "Of course many of mine are experimental at first but we have thickeners, thinners, glitter and shimmers- experimentation is key! Pushing through new ideas are always encouraged but finding something that sticks is another. It's the same kind of thing going through blood infused makeup. A lot depends on how you treat it even with the consistency."

"I didn't really know it was this complicated, just figured you whip out blood and uh that was it," Gamzee admitted.

That had made Lovely laugh so loudly and long that Gamzee thought he'd accidentally sent the other troll into hysterics but eventually he stopped and assured Gamzee he was fine, informing him 'Oh so many think that! But there's a bit more to paint that blood! Here, let me show you-' and it led to a six hour tour that confused and intrigued Gamzee with the various processes behind producing paint which he was amazed by the process for. It was as if the ship itself was just a massive organ pulsating the blood used in the arts of the Church. Even blood used by Bleeders not of the Church always got refined and blessed through the ship and Lovely himself was the only one who was trusted to refine the tyrian blood taken from the donated bodies of slain Heiresses.

Blood, Lovely assured him, would be a first pick for himself. Gamzee wasn't sure he wanted tyrian blood but figured that if he chose to paint Feferi then it would come in handy. As it was there were quite a few vials of tyrian blood available- a whole room full actually -but no limeblood. When he asked Lovely about it the Bleeder was confused and informed Gamzee that there was no such thing as a limeblood. It confused Gamzee, until he remembered that limes had been extinct for eons until they weren't remembered by any other than the ancient. And within a genocidal imperialistic Empire, few had the luxury of growing old. Priest was, as far as Gamzee could know, the eldest troll by a large margin to the point the Condesce seemed like nothing more than a squabbling wiggler. Little wonder Priest was, in himself, a living true history of the Empire or even troll kind.

Gamzee made note to speak to Priest more in the future. Such experience was something he should not squander- he'd seen what happened in the Game over it, and how everyone died in so many timelines from it.

* * *

The next several weeks were a flurry of emotion, lessons and blurred sessions and bafflement. He was guided by one of the High Priestormentors at most, usually aiding him with many of the duties he was now given and learning how to handle. Most were mainly focused with the cohesion of the Church even if Eminor assured him he would mainly be supervising while others had the actual tasks. It was confusing but Gamzee nonetheless paid attention and retained the information as best he could. It was interesting seeing how sprawling the Church was, with billions of members of all ages and experiences. Being the singular one overlooking it all did cause some fright but after some thought he dismissed it since the Church had functioned for sweeps without a Grand Highblood and Gamzee guessed he'd have to mess up pretty substantially to effect the Church.

"Everyone knows what they're doing but it's good if you give everyone a look over every couple of sweeps," a Priestormentor, a lesser one with hair the colour of amethysts, informed him when he stopped by to peer about a crafting station in confusion, "Just to let us know you're here, ya know? It's kinda like a security thing or...I dunno, Kurloz knew we knew what we gotta know but he still stuck his head in now and again to let us know he's still watching over us."

"Kinda like you Priests would sometimes watch our lessons which was just us doin' out own and shit and not really saying much to a motherfucker? Just uh presence?"

They'd laughed at that, "I sometimes forget how young you are! Only a few sweeps you were just a wee little wiggler! But yup, kinda like that! Like we know you could do that shit but just wanted to be there a few times even if it wasn't saying shit."

Gamzee had asked Priest later about that and the ancient troll agreed. They were in one of the kitchen areas, eating a dinner of a thick gooblebeast-animal stuffed with green sauce. Watching Priest was interesting for Gamzee due to Priest having a habit of tearing off tiny bits of food, chewing exactly a dozen times on it before swallowing. Either way he'd decided to follow his earlier conviction to spend more time with Priest and the old troll _was_ the only one who really knew who Gamzee was, considering how he'd told Priest about the Game. It was a different trust that he had with Hestia or Koiboi or the High Priestormentors if not only because Priest was one of the few trolls that rivaled Gamzee in terms of experience and strange phenomenon. There was also a relief to find someone who was akin to a mentor and also seen so much he had hardly any judgement over the events- unlike Occhio or Abutor or Eminor whom Gamzee got the impression of he'd get a lecture from over various issues. 

Priest licked off a ragged claw before saying, "As a Grand Highblood your _presence_ is important. In a way, you are our ambassador."

"A what?"

"An ambassador. They are someone who represents a caste, an organization. You are the ambassador for the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs. You will be, always, the first choice for those duties which deal with important matters with other castes. Such as if there is a trial of importance and the Condesce either doesn't want to or demands your attendance, then you shall take the place of the judge, jury and executioner when the Legislacerators argue their case. If there is an Admiralty Board meeting regarding treason, you may be called to judge. If there is rebel outpost located as a Subjugglator and thus main enforcer of killing heretics then you shall be first called. Or in simpler terms, an ambassador."

"Huh," Gamzee thought it over, chomping on a leg of featherbeast. He hadn't really thought on that angle and he'd spent enough time alive with the Church, with the sense of family, he was unsure how he'd fear suddenly exposed to all the other castes. He'd seen it enough on the very rare journey he made outside of the ship, at how all other trolls outside of his caste regarded him with fear. It how they stared at him as if he was a wild beast, like they all used to on that Meteor after the whispers of his Messiah crawled into his thinkpan.

"You can kill them," Priest's serious voice cut through his roiling thoughts and Gamzee gave him a baffled look.

"Uh...ain't sure I wanna."

Priest smiled, "I know, but you still _can._ As the Grand Highblood you have quite a bit of leeway in dealing with the Empress- and she has always been very fond of the Church. I would only suggest not harming key members of the Empire or the admirals. For key members it would be like the Overseer or the MeKanist and a few others who are integral to important jobs within the Empire. As for admirals, they're the Condesce's underlings and control a fairly large portion of the fleet during invasions. Also they tend to be quite annoying opponents as well. Old and wily and cruel."

"No I mean like...why would I wanna?"

"Words will not solve all, especially as such a young troll much less a Grand Highblood. You will be challenged, threatened, even attacked. Killing them, making them fear you, will be the best way in some situations where words will not work," Priest's voice was gentle.

"Oh."

"We are the hunters of rebellion, devoted to weeding out the heretics and those who claim false messiahs, remember that."

Gamzee shook his head, "Ain't got a problem with someone of different faith. With a Tenant, ain't it just how worshiping a different one if you are in the Church? A false idol only works if you're mucking it up."

That made the old troll laugh but it was a kind one. Priest ate several more mouthfuls before finally replaying, "As you say. But the heretics are different- or should I say those Sufferists. Heretics are...well, everyone who does not share our faith but a Sufferist worship the Signless, his Descendant and call him a god."

He gave a snort at that, "Yeah, Vantas really ain't." Out of all of them, Gamzee guessed Vantas had the most useless of Godtier powers- he never really remembered either of them doing anything with their powers besides talk, cry or die uselessly in a fight.

A fairly ungracious thought but Gamzee didn't like either of the Vantas' anymore. Kurloz had never liked them to begin with.

"Ah well true. We really should devote most of our time to our faith rather than all this but ah, life is what it is. If you want more of a rant on that, you should ask Occhio. He gets quite opinionated."

"Eh? What's he about?"

"Well..." Priest paused to take a bite of food, chew a dozen times carefully before swallowing. Then he continued, "It is like how the High Priestormentors all have little...quirks in their faith. Occhio is loyal to the Church," Priest said, "He would kill any of us if he finds us violating the Tenants."

"Even me?"

"Even you," the old troll informed him seriously, "He values the Church more than the clown. He'd purge the entire Church if needed and would feel no regrets."

"Huh. What about Eminor?"

"She, like Abutor, can be blinded by her affection for the Condesce. Sometimes...forgets her way," Priest finished delicately. 

Gamzee nodded; that did fit the attitude of those two, "And Gratia?"

"First priority is towards the faithful. As you can imagine they can argue quite ferociously with Occhio especially. Then again Occhio likes arguing with everyone...well less like and more just in his attitude, he's very argumentative. Been that way every since he was taken into the Church and only grew more persistent with age." 

"I would've guessed them learning how to get up and talk lacking tongues and eyes and ears and shit would've been a motherfuckin' shit thing to figure out first."

"That too."

* * *

Slowly the Church began to disperse from the planet and go back to their routines, jobs or quests as slowly the initial rush of the ceremony wore off and everyone remembered they had work to do. Others didn't seem to care and just wanted to meet him and Gamzee didn't find any issue with that.

"Everyone has their jobs and if they're still making up their mind about what job they fucking wanna take then that's a job as well," Occhio had snapped when Gamzee asked.

"So what's my job?"

"That's what you're figuring out. Huh, pity there isn't an invasion for us to fuck some fuckers up but meh, been some oddly slim pickings lately. You'll get yours, though but in the meantime keep doing what you're doing- soon you'll be called out to deal with those faithless shitheads in the Empire, be it just listening or whatever but it will happen. Also change your damn clothes- you're lucky that Button told me she clothed your giant ass or I'd be hauling you there to her chambers now."

Occhio was rude but Gamzee still liked him. He would just tell Gamzee what he'd think rather than dancing around the issue or trying to be gentle like Abutor or Eminor.

* * *

More weeks of traveling on the Subjugglator flagship was interesting; Gamzee hadn't really thought about who actually flew the the gigantic vessel which was twice as big as any other clown ship. Going to the flight deck was strange especially when he learned the ship usually just traveled around randomly with no real intention unless called out specifically.

"Technically it's your ship," one of the clowns on the deck told him, "Being Grand Highblood and all. Otherwise we just drift about doing whatever, like if we drift by an planet and such we'll dock and spend some time there. Being on a ship all the time is bad for your mental health," they'd ended in a conspiratorial whisper. 

Gamzee, having no idea on where he wanted to go or what he was supposed to do just nodded along and told them they could just keep at it. None of the trolls in the flight deck seemed bothered by the instructions, though he did ask if the ship had weapons; he got given a list of the weapons used for war or spacefaring combat but Gamzee didn't really understand it so just nodded along even while saying as much. At least with the Church he could just admit he didn't know something but someone who did know it would either tell him or be left in charge; he'd always hated how in the Game he got constantly yelled at for not understanding what was going on. But at least he didn't have to worry about that and he was fine with drifting casually about, just going where the winds went so to speak.

After sniffing about the flight deck he ended up down within the colossal engines that made up a sizeable chunk of the rear of the ship. The air was moist, like he remembered the Condesce's vessel back when he'd been in Abutor's care and the floor grew wet until it was covered in water like a shallow pool and the walls and ceilings were covered with fleshy wires that spread over the surfaces like mold. The engineers and organic mechanics keeping the giant ship in motion were friendly and informative even if all the technical jargon flew over his head. Gamzee wondered if Captor or Zahhak would ever pursue a career in that area due to all the technical know-how running behind it. 

The huge circular room filled with a dozen helmsmen made him uneasy however. They weren't as old as the Observer and a few looked as if they'd been installed from the last Conscription considering how young their bodies were, along with the fact the fleshy tendrils weren't encasing them as thickly as the others. Then again from what Priest had said the Observer was nearly as old as the Helmsman, the Condesce's own psionic which made the two a rarity.

He was a bit bemused at how many helmsmen they had, though. He'd always thought ships had been limited to one.

 _Gotta have backup,_ Eminor had shrugged when he asked her later.

* * *

Hestia and Koiboi kept him company more often than not, something he was grateful for. Hestia still hadn't chosen a job yet and seemed more than content to simply be a run-of-the-mill Subjugglator. Koiboi meanwhile seemed to have no opinion on what kind of career he wished for though Gamzee had noticed the short shirt he was wearing looked like a handmade one from troll silk. The thick ruff of lusus fur on the collar and cuffs was new and Gamzee had asked him about it.

"They're from my moth mother," Koiboi had said, giant eyes peering through the wild mess of his ankle-length hair, "I groomed her frequently at various intervals so I have a sufficient amount of her fur to let for many sweeps yet." 

"Only thing I got left of my mum is my eye," Hestia added in, tapping a claw on her jeweled eye.

Gamzee had shrugged, "I ain't got nothing from mine. Goatdad was a shit lusus anyway."

Hestia had yelled at him for killing the conversation but he didn't care. Koiboi didn't seem to care either and just tuned out her shouting. Eventually she got bored of it and shifted to her new foot wear, with her yanking off one of the knee-high boots and throwing it at Gamzee's head. He caught it reflexively before it could smack him in the eye. 

Hestia told them they were called 'high heels', saying "The clue is how they have high heels."

Then she snapped her left ankle when she jumped down a stairwell to the landing on their way to the kitchen, stumbling at the end of the jump and making an ugly _crack_ ring through the air. Her loud cursing wasn't out of the norm, as Hestia cursed whenever she was mildly annoyed or even just in casual conversation. When the two checked on her, there was a short stick of bone jutting through the side of her left boot, the bone white and dripping with purple blood.

Gamzee hauled her off to Abutor who repaired the bone within the quarter hour using a strange tool that looked like a vice with a clamp full of needles. She'd sworn angrily the whole time until Koiboi stuffed a purple fruit in her mouth strongly enough she had to stop yelling in order to chew it down and avoid choking. Gamzee just watched, making a face at how the vice fixed her snapped ankle and wandering if being healed by a Life player hurt.

"If you keep on wearing those things you're going to deform your feet and legs, darling. Maybe even break your ankles a few more times," Abutor informed her once he was done.

"Life is pain," Hestia had declared, "I'mma fuck my legs up 'cause they're my legs and I wanna. Prob gonna see you loads more though in the future so heads up."

Abutor had just laughed at that response and sent her off with some advice and warnings for the kind of issues she'd suffer down the line. She didn't care but complained about how the leather was ruined on her current pair. Gamzee, who preferred to go about barefoot much like Koiboi, didn't really seem to care. They were her feet after all.

"It's those boots," Koiboi said seriously over dinner later, "They're damaging your bones."

Hestia rolled her eyes, "Duh, I know that. I don't care, I like how they look."

"Even if you injure your legs later? Or what if it happens in combat?"

"Then I'll better learn how to fight with 'em on. I'll just ask Lucile for some other lessons or shit, she'll sort me out right good."

Later when Hestia eaten her full and gone to track down Lucile Koiboi stared at Gamzee for a long while but, as usual, his eyes would flick down to his hands whenever Gamzee looked at him directly. After a while of the two eating- the meal seemed to be eyeballs jellied in various flavours -Koiboi swallowed thickly and tensed.

Gamzee gave him an opening for several minutes before asking, "You wanna ask some shit?"

"Yes," Koiboi said immediately, "What do you think of Vulnus' hair?"

Of everything he was going to be asked Gamzee hadn't expected that and he paused briefly, "Uh, what'd you mean?"

"His _hair_. You know how he has his hair in all those long rope-like strands? It seems very neat."

"I guess if you like it," Gamzee shrugged. Personally he preferred his hair being thick and wild; it had grown since his molting and subsequent passage of time so it was slowly inching its way down his back. He would like it to be waist length, both as a way to distance himself from his Ancestor and to add another layer of protection for his back. 

"I've been thinking about it," Koiboi continued, voice soft as he tugged at his wild locks, "Maybe I should peruse other alternative hair styles for my own."

"Well then why don't ya ask the needleman on how he gets that hair all in those shapes? Sure he wouldn't say no."

"I think I will."

* * *

When he went to his rooms later, after having a conversation with Koiboi about various hair styles, he found a large package on the bench of his kitchen. Judging by the sheer amount of sparkly pink ribbon and glitte sprayed all over the box he was relatively sure the Empress had sent the package to him.

 _Great, I thought she'd left you alone after that first creepy encounter in her room,_ Jane said glumly, appearing on the chair at the bench. 

Gamzee gave a grunt of agreement, eyeing the glittery parcel in distaste. It was also soaked with an ugly, sweet smelling perfume that made his nose wrinkle. He didn't like the Condesce, there was just something ugly and nasty and twisted within her. He still hadn't forgiven her for making Jane kill her friends, either, even if he knew the timelines grew blurry. Sometimes he forgot which one he came from, struggled to remember the giant brawl between the Godtiers- the humans -and the Condesce, of Aradia hurling herself into the fray with a whip coiling around the Empress's horn while yelling incoherently. It was a mental rush of such conflicting information at times.

He eyed the package before finally deciding to open it, but he'd barely touched the elaborate bow when it puffed open in a shower of tyrian glitter and the box folded open. He half expected it to explode.

Instead it was a large cake, decorated in expertly sculpted icing, patterns and figures. Gamzee eyed the dessert before plucking out a piece of the corner and popped it in his mouth; to his disappointment it actually tasted good.

 _From her actions back on Alternia and her behaviour in her throne room, I don't think she's going to leave you alone,_ Jane sighed. She leaned forward in the bench, crossing her translucent arms.

"I figured maybe."

_I would wager she's just left you alone recently because 'Church Business' as Occhio said. Even she isn't exempt from that._

"I don't want her, even after all that motherfuckin' shit messed up with my Ancestor. He's the one who had a quadrant fucked up whatever with her, I ain't wanting that."

_I think she wants_ you, _though. And, after all, who says no to the Empress?_

* * *

The skull was white, no doubt preserved to keep the bone clean and strong even after sweeps of exposure. The horns were curved and arched into spirals. Inside the hollow eye sockets were two candles of purple, the flame not even singeing the bone within.

"So that's your Descendant," Gamzee said, touching the skull tentatively.

Priest nodded, giving the skull a fond look, "Yes, he was one who became one of the High Priestormentors. He held Eminor's predecessors post but he was killed during the Summoner's rebellion, near the start. I remember finding him dying near the ocean- I had followed his blood trail through the sand. His last words were my name. The rebellion was ugly, as the one who took over his post was slain at the end and Eminor took over when they were killed."

"That...some rough shit."

"Oh we all die," Priest said, "And I am glad I was able to comfort him in his final moments. I kept his skull as a memento as he lived the longest as all of my Descendants."

"How many have you seen? And maybe got a mentor on with them?"

"I've had eleven Descendants."

Gamzee blinked, "Fuckin' really?"

Priest smiled, the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth deepening with the movement, "Yes. I'm old, as you may recall. I know lower castes- or at least the shorter lived ones -think Ancestors and Descendants is simply a rumour but it takes time for one of the same genetic material sample to be spawned. Simply look at how often there are Heiresses."

"Are...any alive?"

"Of mine? No. We have a dangerous life. I'm actually due for another Descendant, I look forward to having another. I think out of the Authority Gratia and Lovely are the only ones who have Descendants- Gratia's one is a sweet girl who spends her time as an understudy for the inventerrorist Euclid, who's an ex-matesprit of Abutor's. It's how she got in contact with Euclid, through our Doctorturer."

"Matesprit? Uh, didn't know he got a quadrant with them."

"Oh they were quite happy together, but long distance relationships can be very difficult and both Euclid and Abutor preferred something more intimate however they're still friends. But as for Lovely's Descendant I'm relatively sure they're a Laughassasssin, though I may be wrong," Priest finished with a slight frown.

"I didn't give any buckets over," Gamzee said, "So I prob ain't gonna see a Descendant any time."

"That doesn't matter, as Kurloz had and did so fairly often. You will gain a Descendant because of that genetic material. Or you can simply be there when the next Conscription occurs and give over genetic material to the Drones to take. I have only given my material once so long ago yet I've had nearly a dozen Descendants. It's why there was such an issue with killing limebloods- they were eradicated and then all mother grubs were killed and replaced to prevent any new broods being tainted with the material. Those grubs have long memories so the Empress at the time had to be thorough."

"What 'bout the Signless?"

"He's a mutation. Or was, should I say. The Drones would never accept his genetic material so his spawning was a complete anomaly. It's why his 'Descendant' isn't really a Descendant. He's a troll spawned from the same mutation as the Signless. It gets a little bit finicky as I am no geneticist and that's banned in the Empire anyway but yes, the drone wouldn't accept the mutation as it was a 'flaw'. Little wonder those cultists were so excited that little crimson troll appeared again. I would not be surprised if the Condesce decided to purge the current mother grubs to prevent it from happening again in the future."

* * *

They stopped at a planet at one point, filled with trees the size of their flagship and broad grassy plains. The only creatures seemed to be various bird species,from ones the size of his thumb to others are large as a dragon. However they weren't hostile or even really intelligent, so it simply seemed to be a side stop to get some fresh air.

Gamzee didn't mind.

He spent a few days sparring and talking to other clowns on the meadows, working on his fighting style. While he'd adapted quickly to his adult form sometimes he'd still forget he'd actually passed the body of an adolescent, something he'd been stuck in for billions of sweeps. The clubs he was given were huge, with the largest being nearly ten feet tall. That last one he needed to use two handed and he swung it about with some difficulty. Faster opponents like Hestia found it easier to duck around him when he went two-handed due to the wider swings making his sides more open, however the fabric of the outfit Button gave him provided some protection. When it came hand to hand all he needed to do was get a hold of someone and he could tear them limb from limb- though naturally he never used lethal force against fellow clowns.

Koiboi was an entertaining opponent due to his needles and usage of yarn. Hestia used a variety of blunt-trauma weaponry much like himself so Koiboi was something out of the norm for a Church member as far as Gamzee knew. Another one he sparred with, a stout female, used a colossal meteor flail that she could set on fire and the match ended with his hair going on fire and another clown had to hack off the flaming hair with a long sword.

It was a nice reprieve from all the usual hustle and bustle he'd been dealing with.

* * *

"How big is the Church?"

It was a question which had nagged at Gamzee ever since he'd been granted the title of Grand Highblood, when he'd seen the sea of painted faces that stretched beyond the horizon. He knew there'd been thousands of initiates- tens, hundreds of thousands he wasn't even sure -but the amount of the Church who'd shown up on that planet to witness him take the rank had been akin to millions. But still, he was unsure. 

Priest, old experienced Priest who'd lived through the rule of three Empress's, seemed to be the best choice.

As it were, the old troll smiled faintly, "It's large and old. It's been around since before we had space flight on Alternia."

"So...it's big?"

A laugh, "Yes, indeed. We have the highest population among Highbloods- even Midbloods. We...lack the more volatile societal caste culture other Highbloods are beholden to and the Midbloods are more often than not used as fodder for experiments and within slave barracks. With bluebloods and violetbloods, their little games kill them off very quickly in many cases. For us within the Church we have a very family orientated point of view with our faith, which is quite beyond the norm."

"But to answer your question the Church has billions of members- around three or four billion, I would guess. Though our records are fairly everywhere as you can imagine. Paper work is tedious."

"Billions?" Gamzee echoed stupidly, struggling to comprehend the answer, "Ain't that like...a whole planetful?"

Priest looked bemused, "Yes. The Empire has a large population- there are billions of grubs produced at each spawning and millions taken off Alternia during Conscription. The Empress couldn't have a war-faring Empire if she had no one as soldiers, engineers, slavers, admirals, helmsmen- the Empire needs a grand population to function properly. Even the fleet itself has hundreds of thousands of vessels which power it. When the Condesce expanded her Empire, stopped using Alternia as a base so to speak, she needed the trolls to power it. You know this flagship is a city unto itself. When you are invading planets that have billions in indigenous populations there needs to be the numbers of soldiers to back up the invasion."

"Well yeah but..." hearing the Empire held so many trolls baffled Gamzee, much less there were _billions_ of Church members confused him. Then again, the ship was like a city and he was fairly sure the lavish ships of admirals, of the hulking ships of slavers, were even more populous. He also knew the Empire held control of thousands of planets and while most were run via slave races they still needed trolls to supervise them. And that didn't take into account all the wars the Empire involved itself. That seemed to be the Empire's sole purpose after the Condesce took control.

Being stuck on the meteor, being stuck in the Dreambubbles, with the same eleven trolls for so long clearly had mucked up his ability to comprehend an Empire as such a vast entity- even when the Condesce appeared in the Game she'd been on her own. Now he was trying to deal with understanding an Empire which had spread across countless galaxies and held control over them, of an Empire where a planets-worth of trolls were taken like clockwork and fed into it for hundreds of thousands of sweeps.

_The Empire is very large, let us just stick with that._

Gamzee decided to follow Jane's advice. Numbers were never his strong suit.

* * *

"Hey, you need to go meet the Overseer," Occhio said without preamble, catching him a hallway three days later.

"Who?"

Gamzee bet if the Priestormentor had eyes he would've been glaring at him, "The Overseer? You know, in charge of the whole motherfuckin' slave business? Pinnacle of the blueblood caste, I'll give him that. Loyal, cold as ice and totally obedient. Anyway, you gotta go meet with him."

Gamzee rolled his thick shoulders, nodding along as Occhio spoke. He remembered now, vaguely enough, in various medias and lessons he heard about the blueblood in charge of the Empire slave trade. Gamzee didn't really get why he had to meet with him, though and he said as much.

"'Cause you're the new Grand Highblood," Occhio frowned, as if he thought Gamzee was deliberately being obtuse, "You are the one who looks over the lists to test those initiates- 'course that ain't happening until the next Conscription, but we still need some slaves to fill out our blood farms and used as teaching tools for the not-so-newbies looking through their career options. Remember? You're not just dealing with the Church anymore, you have to deal with all the fucks who wanna deal with the Church."

"...Alright," Gamzee tried to keep his voice relaxed, despite nervousness building in his gut. He hadn't interacted, truly interacted, with any other caste since his ascension into his new role and he was worried he'd stuff something up or somehow compromise the Church.

Occhio must've caught that edge of anxiety for the severeness of his features lessened slightly, "Of course, you can take some fellow clowns with you- not just flinging you into the pits without a club, so to speak. But remember, you are now the Grand Highblood. You are the physical fucking embodiment of the Church and all that we stand for," at the end his voice got back its usual harsh undertone.

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna forget or let any of those motherfuckers try anything," he said, feigning a confidence he didn't quite feel.

"Good. Now get your ass in gear and get ready. Oh, and try to not kill the Overseer. Good slavers are hard to fucking come by."

"Wait, why I gotta rush?"

"Uh, we're in orbit of the slaver planet dumbass. Try looking out the observation deck or checking your fuckin' husktop. It gives you alerts and shit when we're near the universe for a Empre-controlled planet."

"Oh." He remembered his husktop beeping and alerts jumping on the bottom of the screen but he had been marathoning a new drama series Eminor had recommended him and ignored it. Probably not a good habit to get into.

It took Gamzee less than fifteen minutes to depart the ship to the vast slave planet with his chosen companions, Hestia and Koiboi, arriving at the shipping dock five minutes before they were slated to depart. Neither looked annoyed at being so spontaneously summoned, with Hestia looking downright giddy while Koiboi seemed more reserved if not just as excited as they entered the shuttle alongside him. Hestia had changed since he'd last saw her, wearing a purple strip of leather around her chest emblazoned with her symbol and a short ruffled skirt. Thick mesh covered her bare midriff and thighs, while her high-heeled boots clacked loudly on the mental floor as she strode over and took a seat with an elaborate flourish. Koiboi meanwhile was wearing a modest dress of black with purple edging, the thick fluffy ruff of white lusus fur circling his neck. Compared with Hestia's abrasive entrance the other clown cautiously made his way over, giving Gamzee a faint smile as he passed.

"Alright, we all set? Didn't fuck any of you guys up?" Gamzee asked as he settled down, checking his strife deck distractedly. Full of clubs and, weirdly enough, a giant rifle he wasn't even sure how it got in there.

"No, I was just knitting another shirt," Koiboi said. He grimaced as something beeped loudly and the metal groaned slightly.

"A whole motherfuckin' planet dedicated to slavery!" Hestia exclaimed, completely ignoring Gamzee's question as their shuttle departed from the Subjugglaor flag ship, "Oh shiiiiiit, I've been wantin' ta come here since I first heard about it."

"The Overseer is apparently quite the blueblood as well," Koiboi added. He was toying anxiously with his long white needles, the skirts of his dress bunched up around his bare feet.

"A blueblood issa blueblood- dunno how the fuck he's exempt from that," Hestia said distractedly, peering out the nearby window.

"Maybe he's a glowing blue," Koiboi suggested, "However he's a mutant by all accounts- has those double set of eyes, which enables him to cause controlled explosions like a dragon. His Descendant inherited that ability as well. Such a fascinating trait."

The two continued to speculate while Gamzee more of less sat in silence. Their casual chattiness was calming, helping ease some of his internal strife. He made sure to keep up his posture and keep his facial expression calm; it would do no good to exhibit weakness and a part of Gamzee enjoyed the subservient attitude he was afforded to an extent. Of course with bluebloods it tended to be a hit and miss, as Gamzee in hindsight really didn't appreciate many of the things Equius said to him back in the Game and the Zahhak's weird, slavish attitudes towards him were actually fairly disturbing. Still, he'd heard a lot of rumours about this Overseer, including he was apparently the pinnacle example of his blood caste and an exemplary slaver while at the same time appearing to be more robot than troll in terms of emotions.

A loud humming then the doors to the ship swung open and Gamzee blinked, realizing they'd already arrived at their destination. Hestia kept up her enthused chatter with Koiboi's more sedate comments blending in as the three Subjugglators exited the ship and began to make their way across the gigantic docking station. Numerous bluebloods, slaves and helpers were busy going back in forth, many too preoccupied to give Gamzee anything more than passing bows and salutes as they hurried by.

There were also hundreds of huge crates being carefully steered around, most of them being lifted and moved by psionic powers by Flesharvesters, the midbloods using the psionics of the yellowblood husks strapped to their backs. There were a few yellowbloods who had all their limbs, however they all had behavioral headsets attached to them and were typically following their coordinator. In all, the slaver hub was bustling with activity and trolls and Gamzee was quite fascinated to watch it all. Before he could do anything else a loud voice sounded out and Gamzee glanced over to see a thickly built, armoured blueblood hurrying towards him.

The blueblood stopped with a huff, his long braid swinging behind him. Quickly he bowed low before straightening up and saying in an apologetic voice, "My apologies, Grand Highblood, for not meeting you the absolute instance you docked; a complete failure on-"

Gamzee waved it off, "Ain't no problem, blue. I'm no stranger to plans going to shit and gotta improvise that so lets just get the fuck on, yeah?"

It was amusing to watch the slaver choke on the rest of his apologetic speech, caught off guard. However he recovered quickly enough and smoothed his expression out; his features were stern and deep circles ringed his eyes. His forehead was tall and Gamzee could see the lowered lids of his second set of eyes and for a moment Gamzee was confused; this was the Overseer?

That theory was quickly dashed seconds later as the blueblood tried again, "I am Zhanna Cuffes, Descendant to the Overseer. There has been a small breech but he will be here in a few minutes; he expresses his apologies and assures no offense is intended towards you," the slaver's words were wooden and obviously recited. Gamzee smiled faintly as he looked the slaver over.

Zhanna was tall and broad, as typically for his blood caste. His brow would've nearly met Gamzee's own, making him one of the tallest trolls he'd met since his own adult molt. The blueblood's horns were three sharp angles- jutting back from his brow, then down before abruptly spiking out into sharp points past his jaw. His hair was in a long single braid that hung to his back, and his side bangs hung down to his chin. Despite the tiredness marring his features, the blueblood's eyes were sharp and clear, even if nervousness was beginning to enter them as Gamzee continued to stare at him. However he made not comment, keeping his gaze fixed on Gamzee's chin as if he was worried the indigo would take offense to daring to looking him in the eyes.

Gamzee's smile widened, amused at the air which surrounded the slaver; it was the same eager to please vibe that always emanated from the Zahhak's whenever he was in their proximity. Luckily it was without the please-hurt-me feeling, which admittedly made him uncomfortable. Kurloz hadn't seem to care either way. But it helped lessen a great deal of Gamzee's anxiety over facing non-clowns. Zhanna was hardly threatening and he was exceptionally high ranked for a blueblood.

Neither Hestia nor Koiboi approached Zhanna, which Gamzee was grateful for, instead joining him in his mute staring of the blueblood. Zhanna was looking increasingly anxious but kept his perfect posture in place then his gaze flicked off to the side and he exclaimed, "Ah, here is my Ancestor! Apologies once again, Grand Highblood."

Unlike his Descendant, Zhanna, who made pains to avoid eye contact and had a nervous, almost panicked air around him, the Overseer regarded the High Subjugglator with a cold and unyielding stare. His features, though sharp and strong typical for a blueblood and matching his Descendant's, were stern and unyielding as if his face was carved from metal. There was none of the near fanatical eager to please vibe Zhanna exhibited instead it was just severe attentiveness and lack of emotion. Not even a twitch of passion in his face or body language. The Overseer looked more akin to a troll carved from black and blue marble than a creature of flesh and blood. Even his posture was painfully ridged, spine as straight as a rod of metal with limbs locked in perfect position. The only movements from the Overseer when he was standing at attention was his blinking and breathing- and even that was done in even, controlled motions that made it seem artificial, born of a machine.

Curious Gamzee reached out with his psychics, wanting to know just what this blueblood's mind felt like, to see if it was just like his hard body language. The first touch of the Overseer's mind against his was like ice; it felt cold and unyielding, absolutely methodical and ridged, without a single stray thought or emotion tainting the sheer emotionless order that held complete sway over the Overseer's conscious and subconscious mind.

Slightly disturbed by the lack of emotions he found Gamzee pulled his psychics back, plastering a fairly fake smile across his face as he said, "Hey." In actuality he wanted to turn and leave, but he had his duty to do regardless of how creepy he found the Overseer.

Other than Zhanna's sharp inhale of breath there was absolute silence for a long, stilted moment before the Overseer crossed an arm across his midriff and gave Gamzee a low, graceful bow. It was a move that bared the nape of the blueblood's neck, an old action of respect and passive subordination. Judging by the intrigue that coloured Koiboi's mind next to him he also picked up on the gesture where Hestia's just held bemusement and slight disgust.

"Hail to your highbloodness, I am glad to see you well and fair," his voice was deep and rich but held the same utterly emotionless tone as his mind, "As I do live, my honour'd lord, 'tis true as they have said, beyond my lord's reputation from head to foot as magnificence, thy have given us. Our duty to your honour, simply say the desire'd request as thee see fits, lord."

Gamzee dipped his head slightly, studying the Overseer with slightly narrowed eyes. This was not a troll to be trifled with and Gamzee bet even Aradiabot exhibited more emotion than the head slaver currently did. The Overseer stared back at him, expression absolutely blank and eyes cold while his Descendant silently panicked at his side. Despite the staring there was no disrespect in the Overseer's mannerism or mind, simply controlled response compared with Zhanna's anxious behaviour.

It was interesting, seeing the two trolls who in terms of physical appearances were identical barring their hair styles but their body language was so different. The Overseer appeared carved from rock, his breathing so even it was near unnoticeable, his stance ridged and strong. In contrast Zhanna's breathing was deep and shaky, as if he was trying to stave off a panic attack, and his eyes were darting nervously between the three clowns while his hands curled and uncurled into fists at his side.

It wasn't until Koiboi gently mentally nudged him with his psychics did Gamzee realize the two blueblood's were waiting for his response. Clearing his throat, Gamzee said, "Yeah, that's some good shit. Here to make sure you're all up and doing the Empress-given job you motherfuckers are supposed to be getting your work on, making sure that is fuckin' all scratch and sniff for my wondrous Church motherfucks."

The Overseer didn't even blink, "Of course, honor'd lord."

The emotionless blueblood made no movement but his Descendant immediately picked up on his intent, quickly saying, "If it would please you, Grand Highblood, we may take you a tour around the slave pens? And of course you may choose any slave you wish free of charge. A gift of congratulations for your ascension to the- that is, your newly acquired rank."

A muscle twitched in the corner of the Overseer's mouth which caused Zhanna's face to become ashen. How the Descendant picked up on such a tic while a pace behind his Ancestor spoke volumes of the level of familiarity between the two- and the sharp spike of fear and apprehension within Zhanna's mind also showed how badly he was intimidated by said Ancestor. Gamzee severely doubted the Overseer would punish his Descendant, due to the order of the slaver's mind he'd most likely consider it a waste of time but Zhanna was obviously ignorant of it.

Gamzee was fascinated by the dynamic, wondering if he would've had one of the same with Alternian Kurloz if he'd survived.

Out of desire to finish his duty- and to get away from the Overseer -he addressed Zhanna directly, "Alrightie bluebro, lead the way."

The Overseer bowed again, long hair shifting as he moved before saying in his monotonous voice, "As thy wish, honor'd lord."

He shifted upright and just stood in place while staring at Gamzee levelly. Zhanna swallowed before giving him a nervous smile, making a sweeping gesture to the side while saying in a oddly shrill tone, "If you would follow me, Grand Highblood. I would be most pleased to show you our pens and you may pick whatever slave you like while I give you a tour of our facilities."

"Right," Gamzee said distractedly, leaving a fairly wide berth around the Overseer as he followed after Zhanna, Hestia and Koiboi flanking him.

The slaving pens and paddocks were vast- he didn't comprehend just how huge the slave trade for the Empire even after hearing about how there was an entire planet dedicated to flesh trading. It still confused him but nonetheless he followed Zhanna obediently around the colossal platforms and facilities. As they walked Zhanna kept up an informative, almost desperate, chat as he told them about the history of the facility, about the origins of the species within the pens, about the history of the slave trade which was so tedious Gamzee wanted to tell Zhanna he just did not care but figured rambling was better than stilted silence. As it was, Zhanna's attention was so severely narrowed onto Gamzee he nearly stumbled several times due to not paying attention to his surroundings and he was also fairly sure Zhanna wasn't even really aware of Hestia and Koiboi's presence, due to being so hyperfocused on the Bard.

Gamzee wondered if Zhanna would throw up at some point, his nervousness and nigh panic so evident. Instead the slaver would go to rub at his extra set of eyes before pausing and leaping back into his explanation. Tuning out the blueblood he peered down into one of the giant pens which housed a small golden species that resembled nutcreatures. They made high trilling noises like birds however and were fluttering about with puffy orange wings.

The only greenery were within various pens, otherwise everything was industrialized with giant pipes, sentry towers, cameras, walkways and catwalks spanning over the thousands of pens that spanned off into the horizon. Due to the sheer amount of smog being pumped into the air from the trains and machines the sky was a sooty grey with roiling clouds, the harsh lighting not helping at all. Gamzee wished he was back at the meadow with his hair on fire.

"Grand Highblood?"

A needle lightly stabbing him in the side knocked him out of his daze and he looked at Koiboi, who twitched his left ear, and Gamzee quickly glanced at Zhanna who was staring at him anxiously. Judging by his expression, Zhanna had been trying to get his attention for some time.

"Uh, hi?" he said blandly. He also looked around and realized they were on a high walkway near the middle of a giant pen housing some kind of forest. He peered back the way they'd come and saw the flagship down by the docks though it had noticeably shrunk; they'd probably been walking around for over ten minutes and he'd just zoned it out.

Clearing his throat Zhanna tried again, "Grand Highblood, as I was saying to honour your new rank- Ah, I mean to honour the Church gaining a new Grand Highblood, of honouring _you_ I wish to offer you a slave free of charge. You may choose any you want and they shall be given to you.."

"I don't want a slave," Gamzee said, "Ain't got any use."

He was relatively sure slaves were expensive-at least, certain ones anyway. He knew specials ones, like violetbloods or new ideal species, were highest and he could probably demand them. But he felt no interest in owning one, he was just there to check over slaves for the next Initiation for the Church.

There was an edge of desperation in Zhanna's voice when he spoke, "Please, it is a gift for your new station- it would be disrespectful for us not to gift you one."

Gamzee frowned, wanting to refuse again but there was a tinge of panic in Zhanna's voice and mind that made him reconsider. After a few seconds of dithering, he glanced over at Hestia who had a hand on her hip and he asked, "Oi sis, want a slave?"

She blinked, caught off guard by the sudden address, "The fuck you talkin' 'bout?"

"A free slave- don't really want one but guess maybe you do? Give a pick of a motherfucker and you can have it."

A smile appeared on her face, slowly getting wider and wider until all her fangs were shown, toothy and sharp.

* * *

"Well," Hestia said later, "That was a good fuckin' trip! A free slave, and such a good one! Kinda lame how I have to wait for them to process it but they, them boys know what they're doing. One free troll for me and we got to see that Overseer fella. He was a piece of work, sheesh."

"What a charming troll, very chilly," Koiboi said. Hestia gave him a look as if he was mad and Gamzee agreed; the Overseer disturbed Gamzee and he inwardly hoped he wouldn't have to deal with the blueblood ever again.

* * *

"Tell me some shit 'bout what you've seen," Gamzee said to Priest.

They were sitting in the old troll's rooms, Priest himself sitting on a chair which seemed to be filled with water to better support his rusty limbs. Gamzee was sprawled out on a pile in the corner which seemed to be made entirely of wool from various alien species. Priest's room, rather than having skull candles, was illuminated by dozens of odd bubbles bobbing near the ceiling which glowed with every colour of the rainbow. There were no sharp corners in Priest's room, instead everything was curved including the walls, chairs, benches and table tops.

Priest made a humming noise, eyes partly shut as he asked, "What would you like to know?"

Gamzee shrugged, "I dunno, whatever ya want. Wanna take my mind off some shit."

For a long moment the ancient subjugglator was silent to the point Gamzee thought he'd fallen asleep before he spoke, "I remember once, during an invasion an Empress ago. While she lacked the viciousness of the Condesce, she was a hoarder of all things even moreso. Alien species, for example. So when she took a planet, she would always charge us with capturing them the most. But on one planet, while I was still ground worthy, we found a civilization that spanned that whole globe. Large advanced cities, millions of towns, vehicles and even a shipping dock on the planet surface and the two moons. Clearly a species who were space faring and thus ripe for invasion."

Priest huffed, leaning back in his chair and making it shift like jelly before he continued, "However when we landed there was no one on the planet. We searched for sweeps- every city, every town, every station, everywhere on the planet. We found beds partially made, dinners half eaten, vehicles on roads- it was if the entire species just up and vanished in an instant. But more than that, every living thing barring the plants were gone- we found no live stock, no mammals, no reptiles, no bugs, no sealife. Nothing. Only plants remained alive upon that planet. Everything else was...gone."

"You ever find anythin'?"

"Nothing. However when you were in the city you felt as if something was watching you. It was a strange sensation, even more disconcerting while walking through the deserted cities to sense someone watching you but whenever you looked back you saw nothing."

Gamzee made a face; it reminded him of Jane's world where there was nothing but miles of crypts and skeletal beasts roaming a barren, dead world. He never liked it- Jane also hated it -and wished he'd been able to keep his world of Tents and Mirth.

"What about alien species?" Gamzee asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Well there's been some we're still at war with- the Empire is wide spanning and many are still on foreign planets ships are stationed on. And not just keeping an eye on slave species. There are the slanzers, I think they call themselves. Fascinating species I thought. Cunning and used what they called 'magic'. Still alive and fighting despite our efforts. The Condesce doesn't seem concerned with them due to how small their numbers are and how they prefer to stick to their wiles. However taking on one of those creatures by yourself was a death sentence. Tenacious and vicious they were yet proud and novel at the same time."

Ears twitching curiously Gamzee remembered his own belief in magic and Eridan's odd fixation at one point, so he asked, "What kinda magic?"

"Elemental they called it. Fire, water, earth, wind- they could harness that and use it as weapons. It was even more potent than psionics at times, especially when fighting a creature who could breath fire at you. Took me back to seeing dragons on our homeworld. But they were an odd species and seemingly only had four castes based upon appearance even though all could fly. Feathered, furred, scaled and serpentine. Or amphibious, the last could also be described as. Much like how we had winged trolls, landlocked and seadwellers I suppose."

"Did you meet all those kinds?"

"Yes. The scaled ones were most like us and they reminded me of dragons with their leathery wings, horns and war-like attitudes. They also had fascinating hair much like Abutor's, while being armed with tusks, fangs and horns. Fierce and proud they were- still are, as a matter of fact. The furred ones held the affinity for fire and I will never forget the day I witnessed a hurricane made of fire and lava destroy a legion of Empire ships. They did not use technology, simply a group of their own wielding that magic of theirs. Thousands of our scienterrorists tried to replicate those abilities for dozens of sweeps with no success. Matching a psionic or psychic against their kind was a fascinating fight to witness- such raw power being thrown about."

"What about the other two kinds? Feathered and uh amphibious?"

"Well they lived up in canyons the strange bird like ones. Hard to chase them, as they seemed to be the better at flying than the others and preferred the canyons and cliffs compared with the others. The amphibious ones were strange, they could not seem to fly as well as the others and typically remained in the swamp lands. Very adept at using poison however," Priest made a slight face, "The effects of said poisons were hideous- I remember how the skin became rotting within moments, made worse with the humidity of the swamps."

Gamzee shrugged; he'd never really noticed the smell of rotting flesh.

* * *

They went to a Legislacerator building next; Gamzee wasn't really sure _why_ other than 'it's nearby and we need to show you off' theme that seemed to be growing after he became the Grand Highblood. He was bemused but nonetheless decided to go along with it. He also liked when he was able to take Hestia and Koiboi with them as Priest told him bringing the Authority too often seemed overkill as they were in demand nearly everywhere but his two friends weren't. As it was, neither of them were complaining and were willing to be dragged around.

As it was, the Legislacerator main courthive was boring. He thought there would be more hangings but as it was most of the teals were sitting around typing on husktops or doing paperwork. There was also training going on for many of the neophytes. Most panicked strongly enough Gamzee got fed up with all the fear setting off his chucklevoodoos and, at one point, mentally knocked out a neophyte that was nearly unconscious anyway so he didn't seem the care. However he was left to his own devices- a teal with horns like butterfly wings and missing half of her jaw cheerfully told him to 'do what the fuck ever' and gave him a plate of cookies for some reason. He ate them within seconds and when he gave the plate back to her she threw it at one of her coworkers and knocked him out in one hit. Bemused, Gamzee left the Legislacerator to her own bushiness and decided to explore the vast building. There were a lot of courtrooms with a few currently holding court and trials. He ignored the fact the teals were debating their clients guilt or innocent and just wandered up and asked the nearest one what they were doing. He then learned about trials and how some would hold 'wild trials' which were basically just a courtroom made out of the courthive and the guilty hanged in that area. However most tried to take their 'clients' back to the courthive so it could be filmed. He waved at the camera on the far end of the courtroom he'd burst into before leaving again, declining the Legislacerator's offer for him to be the judge and executioner in the current trial.

Despite knowing Pyrope's history- Ancestor, Dancestor, SGRUB winner it blurred together -he was caught off guard when he found Terezi in the courthive, standing tall and lean in the teal and red outfit of a Legislacerator. It wasn't the badly flayed, wigglers outfit but a professionally manufactured uniform. Her cane, white and red with a dragon headed handle, was held casually in a gloved hand. However she almost instantly stiffened after he wandered into a side room.

She mirrored the memories of Redglare strongly in appearance, or Latula as it were. Even her glasses, which had been angular and sharp, were now instead thick squares. Her hair was also longer, inching down past her shoulderblades. Despite being a tall, wiry adult, Gamzee easily stood over her and outweighed her by about half a tonne, something that became more evident when he drew closer. Terezi turned to face him, a very fake smile plastering across her face.

"...Hello."

Gamzee had never heard Terezi so nervous, cornered, before. Then again last time they'd been face to face was when Gamzee had beaten her to death on the flaming ruins of a house so he couldn't really blame her for her behaviour. As it was, Gamzee didn't feel any murderous intent toward her. He'd punished her for her last actions, even if his fury was on Jane's behalf. He felt her stir in his mind but not manifest so there was no real need for him to attack the Seer.

A spiteful part of him wanted to.

However in lieu of it he instead returned her simple greeting with, "Hey."

He could sense both Koiboi and Hestia pause and increase their attention on Terezi, noting the terse tone the two had taken with each other. At the corner of his eye, Gamzee could see the tell-tale shine of the white bone of Koiboi's needles as they slipped into his hands from his voluminous sleeves. If anything, Koiboi would be difficult for Terezi to fight as he'd easily be able to seize her sword in his yarn- and the threads were strong enough only the most sharpest of blades could slide it and Terezi's sword was still in its sheath. With how close he was, Koiboi could ensnare her hands and prevent her from drawing her sword.

His musing was cut off when Terezi shifted uneasily, ears twitching before she said, "So uh, you're the Grand Highblood now huh? I heard about the Church getting a new one."

Next to him Hestia bristled but Gamzee ignored her as he said, "Yeah, happened a bit back. Gotta do somethin' ya know? In the blood as you'd know all about."

It was a rude jab at Terezi's obsession with her Ancestor, her and Vriska's, and all the horribleness those actions had caused. Judging from how her nose twitched she'd noticed the insult. However she didn't insult him back and just nodded.

"And you are?" Koiboi's polite voice intruded, his large eyes wide and guileless. Gamzee wasn't fooled and neither did it seem to be Terezi.

"My um, apologies your...highbloods," Terezi said, frowning, "I am Terezi Pyrope, Legislacerator. I recently jumped up from neophyte half a sweep ago. Enough successful trials and skills that I gained the full rank."

"Good," Koiboi said, still calm, "You know Gamzee? You certainly address him in a careless manner. It encourages familiarity." 

Hestia glared, "Pyrope, huh? So _you're_ the teal."

Gamzee winced, noting the sharp defensiveness in Hestia's body language; he'd confided in both her and Koiboi about his aversion in pitch romances spawned from his past experience with Terezi. He just never guessed he would've run into the Seer again, much less with the two accompanying him. Hestia looked like she was entertaining the thought of killing Terezi right then and there, and Gamzee knew she'd be able to completely get away with it. None of the teals in the courthive would dare retaliate, not with him there. 

Terezi said nothing in response to Hestia's hostility, instead still keeping her attention on Gamzee, "I have history with you. Figured it would..." she paused, clearly weighing the risks before erring on the side of caution, "You're right- it's too careless. My apology, Grand Highblood. I meant no offense in my address." 

The manner in which the Seer was treating him rubbed Gamzee the wrong way, like she was expecting to be savaged at a moments notice. It irritated him and he got the impression that if he _did_ show any blatant hostility Hestia would take that as a green light to attack the Seer; he was annoyed but not murderous. 

"Ain't gonna kill you sis," Gamzee frowned at her, "Ain't gotta do it anymore. Shits been done and done, so no point going on with it like the tightrope's gonna snap and I will."

She didn't refute him, just replied with, "As you say, Grand Highblood."

Her formality made him bristle; he had no idea why he was feeling so defensive. Terezi owned him nothing, much less friendship or accepting response to his appearance but for some reason her behaviour was pissing him off. Vriska had done far more damage to Terezi- far more long lasting damage -and had been instantly forgiven and, in some timelines, clawed her way into confidentiality and pale affection. Gamzee, while having no interest whatsoever in getting into a quadrant with the Seer, was angry with the double standard he always had been shoved with. The Serkets were forgiven for their crimes and they'd done them all of his own free will so why was he being shoved away at arms length.

"I'm not involved with Vriska," Terezi snapped suddenly, gloved hands tightening around the dragon head of her cane, "She fucked off and became a pirate or some such stupidity. I haven't seen her since Conscription and I wouldn't hesitate to kill her if she showed her face to me again. I made my stance clear; I've given her enough chances, she is not my responsibility."

Gamzee instantly picked up on the fact she'd used her Mind powers to deduce his intention- or maybe she had just seen the path to stop a fight and defused it appropriately -either way, he knew where she was coming from and felt himself relax. Koiboi and Hestia, meanwhile, looked utterly bemused at the abrupt change in conversation.

"So if I caught her and gave her a hidin' you wouldn't give a fuck?" Gamzee challenged, though his voice had lost its intensity.

Terezi shrugged, a hint of her usual sharp grin creeping along her face, "Nah, it would be her own fault. I was tempted to give it to her back on Alternia but she hadn't really committed a crime, right? Figured we got uh absolved of them after....everything finished sweeps back. But she recommitted her actions and thus is guilty. And as you're Grand Highblood you've got the authority to give it to." 

"You'd figure after everythin' a motherfucker would learn."

"You can lead a hoofbeast to water but you can't make it drink. I finally learned that," Terezi's grin twisted into a grimace and Gamzee had to remind himself Terezi had been stuck with the Serket wigglersitting more than any of him. He just wished it hadn't taken her so long to finally learn the lesson.

 _Stop being so bitter. She feels guilt over it, you can feel it,_ Jane's voice whispered in his mind. Terezi glanced off to the side, ears twitching as if she'd almost heard Jane's voice.

"So, 'bout them shades," Gamzee said after nearly a minute of silence, "Gettin' your Latula on?"

"Yeah. I'm shit at skateboarding though, go figure," the grin jumped back across her lips, "I tried it once and nearly broke my ass I fell off so bad."

"Huh. That's uh, weird. Know if Captor is shit at it? Guess he was pretty shit from the start but a brother gave it a go I remember that."

Terezi straightened up, "No, I haven't seen anyone since Conscription. You're the first one of...us, who I've met."

That caught Gamzee off guard; he thought she would've been with the rebels before he realized that if she was with the rebels then she wouldn't be enlisted with the Empire. Then again Terezi had always been one for justice and punishing law breakers; turning into a treasonous traitor went against that. He couldn't glean anything from her mind, anyway; the pulsating rippling of her Mind made him nauseous.

"Oh well, doin' what they do I guess," Gamzee shrugged it off, "Should've spoken to a few fucks before Conscription but was busy gettin' my dead on. Uh, kinda though. But back on them shades, figured you only wore that shit 'cause you're blind and all but that ain't happening anymore isn't it?"

Terezi paused before briefly lifting up her squared red glasses, showing blind scarlet eyes, "Still can't see shit."

That confused Gamzee, as he was pretty sure they'd been healed after the Game blew up but then again he still had his scars so it could be something that varied from person to person. There wasn't really enough of them for him to judge on the how and whys some injuries were healed and others weren't. He was tempted to use his chucklevoodoos on her but the pulsating waves of her mind made him pause; she was, after all, the Mind player and part Knight to boot which were a defensive class. If he wanted to crack her head open it would no doubt take some time and Gamzee realized he didn't actually care enough to put in the effort in her- be it negative or positive.

Then another Legislacertor came walking into the room, eyes downcast and scanning a tablet held in one hand while oblivious to the four trolls already inside. He glanced up and froze when he saw Gamzee and quickly dropped into a hasty bow, "Grand Highblood!"

"Hi," Gamzee said.

He straightened up, shooting Terezi a quizzical look as he tucked his tablet under one arm, "Do you need assistance with anything, Grand Highblood?"

Terezi spoke, "Huaxni, it's not needed-"

"He wasn't asking you," Hestia spat at her.

Gamzee watched as Terezi, once again, let the confrontational words pass without challenge. Usually Terezi would jump at the chance to get in a squabble or Latula would get in a loud tirade. It was odd seeing her be so compliant. Then again, he also remembered that one timeline when she ended up into a diamond with Vriska who turned her into a browbeaten doormat while he died slowly in a fridge.

Fine, so he was still a little bitter.

"Well whatever, this place is kinda borin' so might fuck off," Gamzee said, "Figure you and uh, Huaxni?" the other teal nodded nervously, "Have legal law shit to do and yeah."

The Seer just dipped her head slightly, forefinger rubbing against the ruby eye of her cane, "Well it was...something seeing you. Or smelling you, whatever."

"Sure it is, Mind sis. Have fun," a nasty tone entered Gamzee voice and he figured he should leave before he got in a fight with her. He couldn't really be bothered with a fight, in all honesty and finding another Game player after all that time of _not_ seeing one knocked him askew. It didn't really help he and Terezi had an ugly history and he killed her. She deserved it, but still.

"Grand Highblood," Terezi said, formal and clipped. She paused briefly before bowing her head.

Gamzee just dismissed it, turning on his heel and leaving. The other Legislacerator gave a farewell Gamzee also ignored as he ambled from the room.

He didn't, however, notice Hestia give Terezi a vicious kick in the shin before she followed after him.

* * *

"That was her, right? It was, wasn't it. You should've let me kill her," Hestia hissed when they were back on the ship.

"Why?" Gamzee said, "Ain't like she's doing anythin' now."

"Yeah well, she still hurt you! That's enough reason for me to fuck her right up."

"I got her back, so I don't give a shit anymore," Gamzee shrugged, "She's doing Empire crap now so I dunno, legal shit sounds fuckin' boring."

"She still should be punished," Hestia insisted.

Koiboi, surprisingly, was the one who intervened on Gamzee's behalf, "Let it go, it is Gamzee's decision. If he chose to not care anymore than that is his choice- same if he wished to kill the teal back there. He chose not to. Respect his wishes."

Hestia grumbled before grudgingly backing down but only with a, "If I see her again I'm gonna knock her down and claw up her face."

Gamzee was fine with that. It was nice to have friends who were so willing to protect him, even if Hestia's current defensive attitude was misguided. He did wonder who would win in a fight between her and Terezi; he adored Hestia, but she didn't have the experience yet to back it up. But either way, the Church looked after its own.

* * *

The day after he met Terezi he ended up meeting Equius.

It was entirely by chance he ran into the blueblood, working as an engineer- or flesharvestor or organic mechanic it all confused him on the nusence of difference with those roles -on a vessel the Subjugglator flagship passed. Gamzee requested they dock with the other ship, after he actually took note of the alerts on his husktop, and while he was told the other vessel was a mining ship on its way from a planet with a load of ore they nonetheless hailed the ship which stopped.

"It's a good idea," Occhio told him, "Just stoppin' random ships and doing a search. That way there's no real rhyme and reason, so if these fucks are hiding something they can't really anticipate our behaviour. Though obviously you don't get that but whatever, just go rummage around and maul some folks who the fuck cares."

Gamzee was curious, not murderous, but figured he should be on the look out for rebel activity. However when he boarded the ship he could see that while the vessel was quite large due to the quantity of materials it was moving, it was run by a skeleton crew. It was still interesting to be on a non-Subjugglator vessel, as it lacked the skull candles and bloodied walls. Instead everything was an ugly uniform grey and shiny metal, with stark white lights. It doesn't have the cosy, familiar lighting from the flickering candles and even the trolls on the ship, the vast majority being bluebloods with a few teals and ceruleans, seemed fairly distant and ridged. There was no feeling of family and Gamzee wondered how those trolls dealt with it, the ugly cold atmosphere. 

The captain, a blueblood with a prosthetic arm and droopy eyes, greeted him formally and politely on the dockway. Gamzee, after briefly scanning the blueblood's mind and just seeing work work work figured she was so boring he couldn't be bothered so he just said a distracted hello before wandering off around the ship. No one tried to stop him and he would get clipped greetings and bows when he walked past. Beyond a mental sweep he left them alone to do whatever is it they did when he wasn't there.

He checked the loading bay which was filled with gigantic crates holding the raw ore. He didn't really know much about rocks but they smelled odd and when he licked one it tasted like burnt food. They didn't seem poisonous and if they were Gratia was on the flagship and they knew poisons. After inspecting the bay he went off down near the engine and found the psionic strung up in the pink tentacles; they seemed old and were probably going to be replaced the next Conscription. He poked the helmsman with a tip of his claw, to which the yellowblood remained inert beyond an eyelid twitching at his jabbing. 

Soon he grew bored with that as well and went to look at some of the other machinery, a few being weird fleshy things he couldn't identify. The air, like all the other engine areas he'd been too, was laden with moisture and a few droplets began to gather at the tips of his hair. Wandering through there killed some more time, especially since he was quite sure the vessel was a new model compared with the Subjugglator flagship. He wondered how often ships got replaced. He was so enthralled with the odd organic looking machines he completely missed the blueblood fixing a broken lining in the far wall, the subdued lighting and flashing lights distracting him enough Gamzee didn't even see the Heir until the blueblood looked up and addressed him directly.

"Makara."

Gamzee blinked, staring at the wall in confusion until Equius coughed. It took a few more seconds until he noticed the blueblood- despite how tall and broad he was, the Heir seemed to lurk in the background.

"Oh, Zahhak. How you doin'?" Gamzee asked, eyeing the Void player from where he was standing next to a gigantic machine which pulsed eerily like a heart.

"I'm...fine," he said carefully, stepping over several vein-like wires until he was a few feet from Gamzee. He was wearing clothes stained in water and blood, a piece of skin-like wall in his hands while his long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. After a moment he stored the wall piece in his sylladex and clasping his hands behind his back. But what really caught Gamzee's attention was how Equius had two horns- both tall and ending in arrow points.

"Oh, horn ain't broke no more," Gamzee said, out of anything else to say.

"Yes, it has since been healed," Equius agreed. His tone was polite, calm yet there was absolutely no deference. Gamzee was used to the slavish manner the Zahhak's used to have around him- or Kurloz anyway, back as Gamzee when Equius was alive he was too off his thinkpan with sopor -so the sudden disappearance of it was curious. Even now Equius kept leveled eye contact, blue eyes bright and watchful.

Gamzee sniffed, eyeing the Heir with interest. He was tall, almost as tall as Gamzee and his physical structure was thick, broad, powerful; Gamzee had muscular arms and thighs but he had a gut and fat along his frame, while Equius was all taunt musculature. He was curious as to how strong he now was as an adult. Also if he'd engineered his clothes to absorb his sweat like Horuss had. 

"So you're alive huh?" Gamzee said after a moment of consideration.

"Yes, and you are as well. You have certainly achieved a remarkable rank," came the polite reply.

He glared, suddenly feeling like he was being mocked. Though it'd been some time, he remembered the mannerism that Equius spoke to him though he was usually too stoned to really understand. Getting mad in hindsight might not really be a good thing to do but Gamzee didn't care; he still didn't like it and it was just a boundary thing that suddenly, without real reason, completely enraged him and his Rage surged up in the forefront of his thinkpan and his claws twitched at his side. 

"Yeah well, I didn't like how the fuck you spoke to me back in when," Gamzee growled, bristling slightly, "Rude motherfuck is what, with all that shit-"

"I know, what I said was inappropriate and I apologize," Equius said, still remaining calm.

He blinked, caught off guard. Of all things he expected, an apology was the last and just as quickly as it appeared his Rage vanished. Confused, Gamzee leaned forward slightly and sniffed at the blueblood but Equius just stared back at him and didn't react to his proximity. 

"Well alright then," Gamzee said after a beat of silence. He didn't really know how to carry on so instead he just said, "You in the Empire, huh?"

"Yes, as are you."

"Nah."

Equius blinked and Gamzee stared back at him. It would probably be award if the two Highblood's cared enough for it to turn so but as it was the two of them didn't. Equius seemed well enough then but neither Gamzee nor Kurloz really liked the Zahhak- Kurloz enjoyed the deference but Gamzee got that from everyone now so it didn't seem an issue that Equius had finally gotten over it. Either way, there was no real attachment there. At most Equius was an old acquaintance, an old annoyance at worse. But he'd killed him and his moirail, so Gamzee had been expecting some outrage or...or something but judging from Equius' calm demeanor Gamzee would get nothing more than politeness.

He didn't know why he felt annoyed at that.

_Leave him be._

Gamzee rolled his eyes but decided to do as Jane said.

"Figure I'd leave you to it," Gamzee said, half turning away, "Don't really care either way. Say hi to ya kitty sis for me."

"I am not in contact with Leijon."

Gamzee just laughed until he realized Equius was staring at him and awkwardly stopped, "Uh really?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Um." He felt the urge to apologize or something, since he was fairly sure the two were close (ignoring the horrible pale romance between their different, stupider selves in the Dreambubbles) and he'd assumed they would've stayed together. But by that logic he was impressing on history and Gamzee certainly didn't stay loyal to his own. He left and became the Grand Highblood with no quadrants besides his fellow clowns.

"Well that sucks 'cause I kinda wanted to say my bad for shit that went down on that old beach back on the shitty hatch planet of ours but since you ain't with her figured there's no reason," Gamzee said.

Equius nodded, choosing to remain quiet. Gamzee wondered if he was just reserved and the Bard had never noticed. Either way, the two didn't seem inclined to talk and Gamzee wondered if Equius cared overly. The blueblood seemed more impatient to back to work and Gamzee figured if that's what he wanted then he did and regardless the Bard was fed up with the ugly, cold blueblood ship. So after a careless wave he left and Equius' quiet farewell got lost amidst the hum of the machinery.

"All my old bros are fuckin' boring," Gamzee complained to Koiboi later. 

Koiboi offered him a cup of seadweller fin soup while listening sympathetically, "I think you have all grown. I don't think I would relate much with my wiggler self even if I parted amicably with my flush and pitch. Beyond that I had no friends and we have all had to pupate in our own ways. Did you and your friend part on bad terms?"

 _Well, you did kill him,_ Jane said, sitting on the arm of Koiboi's chair. She looked extremely diminutive next to the adult troll, in her golden dress and melting features.

"Ehhh, kinda? Mostly my bad," Gamzee admitted after a beat of consideration.

"In that case perhaps he just wishes to never meet you again."

"Probably. Kinda awkward."

"The Empire is a big place- you most likely won't."

_Doubt it._

* * *

The first interaction with the Condesce after he became the Grand Highblood came too soon in his opinion. Apparently it wasn't even something important- she just 'wanted to meet him' as Abutor gushed. He wanted to leave when he was told, find a room to lock himself in or a handy duct to go hide. It was a strange knee-jerk revulsion on the tone Abutor took, a strange almost knowledgeable way the Doctorturer acted. 

_You zhould zpend more time with the Emprezz,_ Eminor signed, _Zhe'z a good zort! You'll like her._

Gamzee really doubted that; luckily Gratia clearly didn't like the idea either and disapproved even if they did so mutely. Occhio seemed annoyed as well, but it was mainly due to the fact he had 'loads of shit to do and the fuck does she want anyway' rant and stopped off. Gamzee couldn't do that unfortunately and had to wait and greet the Condesce. He had the two remaining High Priestormentors- and Abutor, oddly enough -and tried to keep himself calm. He wasn't sure why however; as far as he knew all the Condesce had done was send him gifts. He still didn't like her however.

When the Condesce arrived it was with a lack of fanfare- she just crossed from her ship to theirs via the dockway and greeted the Priests warming. She even went as far as to plant a glittery kiss on Abutor's cheek when she got to him. Then she turned to Gamzee, expression delighted as she eyed him up and down. She hadn't, after all, seen him after molting yet and Gamzee inwardly grimaced. 

"Hey," he finally said, out of any kind of idea for a proper getting. 

The Empress didn't seem to care about the casual greeting, moving forward and grabbing his hand, "Hey buoy, you mother fuckin' grown since I last seen ya."

He nodded, now having to look down at the Condesce; her tall horns and voluminous hair made her seem larger and now he realized she was actually fairly short for an adult. All the trolls assembled, baring Abutor, were taller than she. The Condesce looked much the same however, despite the fact Gamzee was now towering over her; all the jewels, all the gold, all the hair. She rubbed her fingers over his wrist, her long nails covered in sparkly pink polish.

There was some awkward silence, to which the Condesce seemed more than content to just stare at him though he picked up on her rocking forward on her heels, nearly on her tiptoes and he got the sudden impression she wanted to kiss him. He resisted the urge to shove her away, as while she didn't kiss him she pressed her cold body up against his side and smiling up at him.

Abutor laughed, making Gamzee twitch, "It seems you two should get more acquainted since I have little doubt our darling Gamzee will be dealing with you fairly often in the future, what with his accession of rank and all." 

Gamzee resisted the urge to hiss at Abutor for trapping him, though he did catch the fed up look on Occhio face before the Priestormentor turned on his heel and stormed off. Gratia's face was unreadable while Eminor had her hands clasped in front of her with a delighted expression.

"Shore, shore! Hardly had a chance to give a good glub with mah big buoy here, gotta get acquaintanced yeah?"

That was how Gamzee ended in a conference room with the Condesce. There were only two chairs, and from the size of his Gamzee guessed it was a room his Ancestor used fairly often. Both chairs were made from hundreds of various bones, worn down and yellowed from sweeps of time. The Condesce let got of Gamzee's wrist only when he sat down and she flopped onto the chair opposite, hair streaming around her like seaweed. 

The Empress seemed more than content to just stare at him so after several minutes of silence he coughed awkwardly.

"Uh, so what ya wanna know? Haven't really done much shit, just gettin' used to it," Gamzee said.

The Condesce waved a hand, "Oh yea, all that faith ship I gotcha. Kurloz used to perch on aboat all that, I getcha, I getcha. Anywaves, I ain't here for that. I'mma here for you." 

"Why? Ain't right if you think you can come here and snap at my motherfucking faith," he bared his teeth at her. He could tolerate a lot but dismissing his faith- his wigglers -was something that would always incensed him.

She didn't seem too bothered by his tone, just saying, "Oi ain't what I mean motha fuck. Just gotta enough of that from my ol' dead buoy so moreso lookin' at you."

"Fine," Gamzee slid his lips shut, dropping his snarl. He didn't like her. She had the same ugly entitlement the Serkets had and he still remembered his personal vow on what he'd do to them if he ever got his hands on them again. Or her. He got confused sometimes on who was who.

As it seemed the Condesce was only interested in small talk with him- she started asking him about his hobbies, his habits, who his friends were, his favourite food. It was something that seemed almost painfully tedious just because it was _her_ though it did seem a bit more bearable when they were interrupted with food and Gamzee gladly took the opportunity to stuff his face with the various dishes so he didn't have to talk. The Condesce didn't seem to care overly, filling in his silences with her own bragging. She did seem to enjoy talking about herself- obviously, due to being Meenah. He forgot how annoying and self centered she'd been but now he was getting a very nasty reminder.

Jane flittered in occasionally though she only showed up to glare at the Empress before disappearing again. 

As their conversation continued, and from what little he could glean from her thoughts, she didn't care overly about the tidbits instead there was a horrible sense of hunger lurking at the forefront of her mind. And he was quite sure it wasn't food she wanted. He distracted himself from that ugly thought via stuffing a large roasted _something_ into his mouth and nearly choking. Eventually Gratia came and saved him, sidling into the room and informing them both in a polite voice Gamzee had Church business to attend to.

Gamzee was pathetically grateful for the intervention as he escorted the Condesce back to her ship, though she'd linked an arm through his, hand resting on his bicep as they walked along the bloodstained halls. Gratia followed closely behind and Gamzee could tell from the colours of their thoughts the Priest seemed remarkably annoyed with something. Gamzee wanted to ask but the Empress plastered up against his side made it difficult. Her hair was also a nuisance and Gamzee had no idea how she tolerated it.

They stopped before the door leading to the gangway back to the Condesce's vessel and he resisted the urge to peel off her claws. Beside Gratia's hovering a few feet back none of the other members of the Authority had arrived, something Gamzee was grateful for.

"So...here's ya ship, Empress. Figure you've got busy shit to get on with, being such a ship motherfuck of place."

"Oh, call me _Condy._ " her smile was all teeth, framed by pink lips.

"Uh, okay...Condy."

A squeeze of his bicep with sharp sparkly nails were the only response. He stayed as the Empress departed, when he could feel the muted vibrations of the ship detaching itself from the Subjugglator's vessel. When he peered through a port window he could see the bright crimson of the ship vanishing off into space before being lost among the stars.

Gratia sighed next to him, rubbing at their curved nose with calloused fingertips. Gamzee grimaced, looking at the muscle of his arm where the Condesce had been clinging to him. He wanted a bath.

* * *

"Does Occhio hate Condy?"

Priest blinked, "Why would you say that?"

They were in the Observer's room again, the old troll seated on a heap of fleshy tendrils a few feet from the suspended yellowblood. Gamzee was leaning against the wall next to Priest, ignoring the water that began to soak through his long hair. The Observer, as her wont, didn't move or say a single thing as she hung there.

"I dunno, just how he acted when she came on to get her greetings on earlier. It's like he wanted to give a spit at her or somethin'."

"I don't think Occhio hates her," Priest said, "However he does not, as a rule, particularly like anyone who is not of the faith. While he can appreciate what she's done for the Church, as it has grown substantially since the Condesce took the throne, she is still a heathen so his like of her is always limited."

Gamzee thought to the almost spiteful manner in which Occhio had informed him that the Condesce wasn't permitted to attend his coronation to the rank of Grand Highblood, as how he'd snapped out _This is Church business, so fuck her,_ as an explanation. Then he also remembered how Priest had told him how Occhio was loyal to the Church, first and foremost, and how he'd kill anyone who broke the Tenants regardless of their rank as a clown.

"So...like, he gets her but still can't be totally liking on her 'cause she ain't sharing faith?"

"Yes. How do you find her?"

"Only really met her that one time," Gamzee admitted, "Betting she just likes me for my looks like a dead Ancestor."

"Her and Kurloz were...very close. They had no true quadrant for one another, instead their relationship seemed to seep through all."

He gave a snort at that, "Like how them Sufferists say that Signless and Disciple went? Transcend all quadrants? Act all fuckin' stupid over it."

Priest laughed softly at that, leaning forward on his staff as he chuckled. When his mirth subsided Priest spoke "That is something many Lowbloods fall prey to- due to their short lives and spans, they tend to die quickly before gaining the emotional depth, experience, to ignore the quadrants. The ridged state of quadrants enforced upon Alternia can take sweeps to shake off and Lowbloods, even Midbloods, typically perish before they understand and 'transcend' them so to speak."

"So like...transcending is just something ya do with age?"

"Yes," a sympathetic look swept over Priest's aged face, "It is a pity, really, that such a basic thing is seen as a rarity, a great anomaly, for the lower bloods simply because they die before ever understanding it is moreso of a guide. The Empire demands two offerings, pitch and flush, but that is simply for populace. Emotion doesn't seep into the buckets, though its a notion many don't grasp."

"I don't get it."

Priest sighed, "It's yet another thing learned with time, through experience and the lower castes die from age or brutality before they understand. Hence why they have such wild tales of the Signless and his greenblooded matesprit as being some sacred, extreme anomaly. It's pitiful in it's own way. How they don't understand such a thing because they will always die young by our reckoning." Another sigh, "They don't know quadrants can easily be ignored. Just look at the Church- all of us are moirails for each other when the quadrant 'guide' would deem that a direct violation."

"Oh...so like, it's something you get told later, or see it, but 'cause they ain't getting enough age they never know so they see shit like that false god of theirs doing it and think its magic shit?"

"In a way, yes. It's quite sad." Priest shot a look at the Observer, hanging prone and lifeless as always.

"Huh..."

"But to go back to your point- that is of your dead predecessor and the Empress, then they did have a fairly intertwined history. They were together since before she became Empress even and remained up until Kurloz's death. She, as far as I am aware, did not take anyone into her quadrants beside brief moments and then she would either kill them or reject them. I fear she may believe you can fill Kurloz's place- and from what you told me, he is as part of you as Gamzee is."

"But he ain't the one she was into. He ain't hers. Don't want her. _I_ don't want her."

"Then be careful," Priest said seriously, "She is persistent and may try to take advantage of your age. Or, the age she views you as. But remember- the Church is here."

"Yeah, I know," Gamzee tried to keep the irritation from his voice, "You told me that before."

Priest whacked Gamzee lightly in the head with his staff, the bones of the skull smacking Gamzee's temple and making him flinch backwards. The old troll gave him a stern look, "That is not what I meant. You do know that in actuality the Church and Empire are not the same organization?"

Gamzee rubbed at his stinging forehead, "What?"

"They're separate. However Kurloz's close friendship- and then even when he died enough of the Authority still held fondness for the Condesce that they continued to cooperate -meant that the boundaries between the two seemed blurred and tied. However the Church is not beholden to the Empress; she holds no power within this organization so it would be easy to severe ties completely if you wish it. By and large, we do not need to obey her. We only obey our faith, the Authority, you."

"So...?" 

"If you wished it, you could declare a war against the Empress, the Empire. Even kill her for being a heretic. Technically there isn't a rule against it," Priest shrugged.

"Uh, wouldn't that cause the Vast Glub?"

Priest laughed, "It would. But it's still an option. And us of the faith are no strangers in dying for it, are we? And, due to our lifestyle, we outnumber all other Highblood caste by a large margin so if she did target us with a Vast Glub it'd kill quite a number of her enforcers. It's just a thought you should keep in mind in case you fear the Empress is trying to gain too much influence. Kurloz was blinded by his affection; you are not."

* * *

Gamzee had thought upon that for quite a few days after his conversation with Priest, rolling over what the old troll had said. It was a treasonous things but if what Priest said was true then it wasn't really treason because the Church didn't even follow the Condesce. Though if he thought about the history of the Church and looked it up then it made sense- the main purpose of the Church was to hunt down heretics, rebels, and kill them while worshipping their Messiahs. Not follow the Condesce and her orders. That was the fate of the admirals.

Later, he painted the lusus upon his wall in his chambers- most dominantly Gl'bgolyb who took up a large portion of the wall. He remembered seeing Sollux dead through the port, yellowed blood splattered around him after perishing from Gl'bgolyb's dying scream. Then he remembered Feferi kissing his corpse with an inappropriate amount of passion; she would've been a fine Subjugglator.

He did get told not even a week later that Zahhak had gotten arrested and was being interrogated when Pyrope intervened and both had attacked their guards and escaped. Now they were labeled as traitors. Gamzee's main reaction had just been 'Oops' and a shrug.

He did wonder how they were all doing though, running off doing whatever it was rebels did. As far as he knew, all of them were alive but then again if they had died he doubted the news would've traveled to him. He hadn't, after all, really told the Authority about his connection with them which in hindsight seemed almost like betrayal. However when he told Eminor that she assured him the rebels were unaccounted for _'Hiding like the gutlezz cowardz they are'_ in her words. Still, he offered information on them as far as he knew- exempting Godtier, and the Game history obviously. But what he knew- their strife decks, fighting habits, who they were, appearance and their mutations, powers on those he knew were part of the rebellion. Truthfully he was confused as to why they hadn't demanded he give that up back when he confessed he knew Karkat, the mutant, back in the museum sweeps ago and much less when he revealed he knew two now-turned traitors. Even if the whole 'betrayal' thing happened recently and he'd only met the two in passing.

But, as Gratia said, _We have trust in you- and your thoughts are your own. None of your secrets caused any peril in the Church and we knew you would tell us in time. Anyway, we'll kill them if we catch them. It's annoying when they're situated in the Empire but now they're free range which is...even more annoying but really the rebellion is too small to do any real damage. Just more of the same. But we'll pass around these dossiers you created and I doubt you have any qualms about killing them, do you?_

He didn't, not really, and said as much which made Gratia smile.

The sense of betray for his SGRUB allies was quick and just as quickly faded once he was done and finished talking about it with the Priestormentor; he owed nothing to them, not really, and he doubted they hadn't told their fellows about him. They had not been on the same side for sweeps and vice versa.

He told Koiboi, who didn't seem bothered either. It was better than Hestia's angry tirade when she found out and he got so fed up he physically threw her out of his room. Koiboi just gave him a scarf made of white fur from his lusus. Gamzee also noticed Koiboi's hair- it had changed from its massive tangled heap to dozens of neat ropes that hung down to his knees. It was a mirror to Abutor's, but what did surprise Gamzee was how angular Koiboi's face actually was; it was in a teardrop shape, with a broad brow which thinned down to a pointed chin. He'd been so used to Koiboi hiding most of his face behind thick wild hair that now being able to see him fully was a bit bemusing.

"Do you have any old friends you actually like?" Koiboi had asked him, with the two ignoring Hestia's furious screeching from outside.

Gamzee thought about that, running through the list of other SGRUB players before saying, "Uh, a few. Aradia, Tav, maybe Eridan. Those other two I don't...don't get on with much or ugly history them other ones not really."

"Hopefully you'll meet up with those three," Koiboi said, "I think maybe you've had such a lackluster reaction towards those last two because you have too much negativity. But if you meet the others I'm sure you'll be more happy and will...Well, I would guess you could hug them. Spontaneous. I don't know, most see you as scary. I think its your height."

"Oh." He wouldn't mind hugging his old friends. It's just a pity the ones he met he felt so cold towards. He wouldn't mind meeting old friends who were, more or less, actually friends with him. Not acquaintances or people he really would rather forget.

* * *

"Do we got an alien museum?" Gamzee asked Priest.

The old troll never minded Gamzee's company, always answering his inquiries and not showing any kind of irritation. He'd run across Priest making his way slowly down a hallway, the numerous silvers hairs gleaming like delicate wire among the black wavy locks. 

He didn't look bemused by the sudden question, instead answering him with only a slight hesitation, "Not quite. Any museums we have usually are dedicated to troll culture and you've seen our own museum and even the portraits in the Observer's room. Bluebloods tend to be the ones who devote themselves to the history of the Empire yet finding a true account is nigh impossible. We are all biased. However I do have a collection myself."

"You do?" Gamzee had asked about the aliens because he'd finished painting a portrait with the two winged barkbeast creatures who were half carapacian. It made him wonder if perhaps the Empire had already encountered and kill those aliens and he'd just missed it.

"Yes. I'm old enough to appreciate alien races without a murderous intent behind it. Here, let us go to my rooms and I will show you."

Gamzee escorted the ancient Priestormentor through the corridors with a hand on his elbow, helping to support Priest's aging body. He would've just picked Priest right up and carried him but he wasn't sure if Priest should appreciate it. They passed several other clowns on the way there, and all treated Priest in warm tones; it was obvious the old clown was a beloved fixture in the Church and Gamzee wondered just how many Subjugglators Priest had been counsel to. He certainly wasn't phased by Gamzee's story of universes and Games and timelines and Messiahs so he'd seen enough Gamzee wasn't sure he'd comprehend.

When they got to Priest's room he guided them through the main living area, filled with bubbles and the comfortable chairs, and through a door at one of the rear rooms that looked nearly indistinguishable from the wall itself. The door slid to the side, revealing a tall corridor that stretched as far as the eye could see. It was lit with the same glowing bubbles that were in his main rooms. Lining either side of the walls were large glass tubes and, from a quick glance around, Gamzee could see numerous alien species preserved inside.

"Of course, the largest ones are held in another area," Priest said, gently distracting himself from Gamzee's grip and making his way to the nearest tubes, "I've tried to collect one of every variety within a species. For example, if I were to have a preserved collection of trolls, I would try to acquire one from each blood type so while we have variants between purplebloods- such as myself and you are quite different in terms of appearance -I would try to gain one who is the most 'common' of the blood type. Ones such as lime or scarlet for a troll would be nearly unobtainable for obvious reasons but I have tried my best to gain one of each, including various genders and variances, for all the species we have encountered. It's only after the Condesce did my collection expand so greatly as she focused upon building her Empire far more than other tyrian rulers before her."

Gamzee nodded, seeing how each tube had a small husktop screen attached to it. Priest, noticing his gaze, reached over and tapped the large button on the edge of the screen and it lit up, showing a description and various images and videos of the species.

"This is mother fuckin' amazing," Gamzee said. It must've taken sweeps for every species and there were thousands preserved. 

"I'm glad you like it," Priest said, "It may be seen akin to a hobby but every species we encounter is unique. There may be similarities, some things that are the same but ultimately all are their own. They should be cherished."

He didn't understand Priest's words in a way, how were they supposed to be cherished if the Empire exterminated. Priest smiled faintly as he noticed Gamzee's confused expression.

"Just because they are killed does not mean they are unworthy of respect," Priest said, "Even if they extinct it doesn't mean they are no longer worthy of being remembered."

Thoughts of green skin, skull-like faces and serpentine tongues washed up in his mind. A species lost to an ugly Game that killed them in a dead session. They were extinct but he still remembered them. Would continue to do so until he died. He understood it in that way, so he hummed his understanding to Priest as he wandered along next to the old troll. Many of the species were ones he'd never seen, some looking like slimy balls surrounded by tentacle arms like miniature horrorterrors, another were nearly indistinguishable from potted plants and others which looked like chunks of raw gemstone.

"There is those slanzers I told you about before," Priest said, pointing at four tubes and Gamzee peered at the aliens within. They were tall, all four over seven feet tall and disturbingly the furred one reminded him of Jack Noir; the black fur, long muzzled face, pointed ears and wings. However the wings on the furred one resembled a dragon while it was the feathered one resembled a birds. There was also the long fangs and horns but the initial silhouette had made him double take. 

There were thousands of the tubes, stretching along the hall and Gamzee guessed some of the specimens were thousands of sweeps old to go with it. Priest told him they'd been encased in suspended animation rather than 'embalmed' which was a Doctorturer technique. Priest would give him a short description of the alien species when they passed its tube and would try to recall when he'd gotten the specimen. Many were the final products, the last physical evidence of long extinct alien species the Empire hadn't deemed useful enough to keep alive as a slave species through the sweeps or had simply exterminated them during first contact.

There were no humans in Priest's collection or carapacians or consort/SGRUB creatures. Gamzee wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved. 

"They're all unique, in their own way," Priest had said, his soft voice echoing through the vast hallway filled with a legion of the dead, "Each a special flower in a botanical garden of millions. They should be cherished in their own way regardless of the fact they are extinct or not."

* * *

The next day while on a random scouting mission on a planet they inadvertently stumbled upon a rebel base, hidden among the vast vines woven along rocky hill side. It was a dull rock planet, so it was a bit confusing when Gamzee was wandering along talking to Koiboi about Priest's collection when he ended up nearly being shot in the head. Only him tripping over a branch meant the arrow stabbed into his hair with only the tip slicing into his forehead, rather than getting an eye of arrow.

Koiboi caught a spear with his needles and thread, jumping to the side to avoid his foot being impaled and suddenly the grassy land and vine-strangled trees were filled with a variety of Mid-Lowbloods and then they were in a fight.

"Fuckin' rude!" he heard Hestia shriek somewhere.

Gamzee sprang into action, pulling two spiked clubs free from his strife deck as he moved towards the nearest troll. The rustblood quickly got out of the way, using her psychics to launch herself twenty feet and up in the air like a cannonball- her companion wasn't was fast and took a massive club to the head, turning his skull into a gory mess. A second later a tree was telekenitically hurled at him and knocked him hard onto his side with a thud and grunt. While winded, Lucile's lessons still had their grip on him as he kept his clubs in hands- Lucile had always yelled that loosing their weapons in the middle of a fight was a 'dumb fuck' thing to do and unless they had their arms cut off they were to never to do so. 

That lesson was the thing that kept his grip on his club, yanking one up to avoid a sword in the face from a cobalt who tried to take advantage of his temporary disorientation and kicked her away as he got back up. The whole fight was a confusing mess of yelling and weapons flying everywhere and inwardly Gamzee berated himself for not checking around himself with the chuckevoodoos. Now the whole area seemed teeming with minds though he noted quite a few were choosing to flee than fight.

The ones who chose to fight would die, he decided. He wouldn't permit them to hurt his family.

A troll too close got her head torn off and the other a violent punch in the side which sent them flying. His size made him the primary target and he look a sharp blow from a hatchet along the side but the clothes Button made for him didn't tear. He elbowed the troll responsible in the face and broke her nose with a wet _crack_. Gamzee wasn't alone however, with Koiboi blocking the sword of a teal with the tips of long needles while he could hear Hestia's angered yelling. Before he could turn around Eminor suddenly bounded into view from the edge of the woodlands, making a strangled noise before she spat out a stream of bright purple liquid- when it struck the closest rebel, splashing across their chest, the fluid began to eat its way through skin, flesh and bone while the teal screamed in agony and clawed at their melting sternum as they collapsed.

Reasoning Eminor could handle herself, Gamzee took off in the direction of Hestia's shouts, finding her locked in a fight with a greenblood armed with hatchets. The green had hacked open one of her thighs which was spilling thick purple blood down her stockings and her left arm was useless so she was fighting one handed. The greenblood was smart, for as soon as she noticed Gamzee's approach she instantly flung herself away from Hestia who screamed obscenities after her as the Midblood sprinted off as fast as legs could carry her.

Gamzee turned around with a low growl, intent on the rest only to realize Eminor and Koiboi had already killed the stragglers; the others had fled. Hestia grumbled as she stalked back to his side, ignoring the blood dribbling down her leg to glare at her surroundings as if convinced some heretics were still hiding nearby.

He took note of her leg and arm, saying, "Oi sis, should get the needleman to give you a check over."

"Yeah yeah, I'll do it in a bit. Where the fuck did they all pop up out of though? Some intense hidin' shit- like nothing and then sudden bam! Heretics comin' out the nook."

Eminor scowled, kicking a nearby body, _Theze rebelz are getting more and more nozy lately. I bet it'z that cowardly Heirezz and mutant making them act up. Watch out, little onez,_ she signed to them solemnly, _You're gonna zee more of theze fuckerz, I'd bet on it. Keep thoze gander bulbz peeled._

* * *

"So you was hatched blind, right?"

Occhio looked annoyed with the question and glared in Gamzee's general direction, "Yeah? The fuck you asking for? I'm pretty sure I told you that shit and you haven't been shot in the head enough times to have memory problems."

Gamzee shrugged, "Just wondering, like with the tongue and blind and deaf shit. Is that like, I dunno, deemed?"

"Oh, that?" Occhio snorted, leaning against his cane, "Yeah, if you wanna become one of the High Priestormentors there's only three and you gotta give up a sense- sight, voice or hearing. I didn't ever have gander bulbs so I was fine." He stuck his thumb inside his empty eye socket, grinning, "I sometimes hide stuff in my eye holes."

"Is there...a ceremony for that shit?" Gamzee pressed, curious.

"Nah, just kinda expected to do it after a while in that rank. Gratia deafened themselves using that huge-ass bell staff of theirs. 'S why they fight using noise 'cause they don't have to worry about it throwing them off their game. Eminor just chewed off her own tongue."

"Huh."

Guess he had more in common with Eminor than he thought. He wondered if she ate her tongue after she bit it off.

* * *

"Darling, _darling._ "

Gamzee blinked, looking up at Abutor who was hovering in the doorway of one of the living areas and excluding an air of extreme excitement. Gamzee, who had been reclining on a couch watching a movie with vague interest, watched the little Doctorturer as he trotted into the room, round face bright with a smile.

"Eh, you alright bro?"

"Yes! I'm here to take you for a treat! Eureka and Eminor found her! Oh, it's like a little gift especially since you told us all about them bothersome old 'companions' of yours- Eminor had been at one of the lesser carnivals on a planet a few hours away which Eureka had been hosting and the silly thing ran right in there and basically gave herself up! She's in the holder cells, sweetie-"

The Bard stood up, bemused as to the topic of conversation, "Yeah you totally lost me, ain't really knowin' what you're making noise about."

"Why, the Serket girl of course!"

Gamzee twitched, thinking he'd misheard, "What?"

Abutor grabbed onto Gamzee's wrist and lead him from the room with no resistance, chatting away, "I read over those dossiers you made darling, same as the rest of the Authority, and Eminor noted how much that bothersome cobalt they'd caught resembled the one you described- it took both Eminor and Eureka to beat her into submission and Eminor dragged her back here for you. I took her eye, the one with eight pupils- you know me sweetie, I do adore gander bulbs."

"E-eight pupils?" Gamzee felt a bit dazed, even if he was distantly aware Rage building in his gut like volatile embers gaining breath, "And matches all the other shit?"

"Yes, the stupid creature had been mind-controlling a little pack of Midbloods because we know how incompetent cobalts are at doing anything on their own, and even had the gall to try it on Eminor and Eureka! Though of course Eureka is unable to be controlled by such things and Eminor mauled her fairly well-"

Abutor kept up an enthused chat as he lead Gamzee down to the cells on the flagship- the majority were empty, due to the lack of rebels being taken alive or only being held temporarily before being killed of hauled off to the Bleeder vats. Gamzee tuned out most of Abutor's prattling, instead focusing on who had been captured and the Rage spreading through his body like molten tallow. When they reached the stairwell leading down to the deepest cell block, the little Doctorturer gave him a small shove and he obediently went walking down to the end cell, where he could see the three High Priestormentors standing before an active barrier. He ignored that to peer into the cell, staring at the occupant mutely.

It was Vriska, covered in gore with her left eye an empty socket that was leaking blue blood down her face to drip of her chin. The outfit she was wearing heavily favoured the blue and black 'Mindfang' dress Gamzee recalled Aranea wearing, back in the various timelines she Doomed through her stupidity and Gamzee was suddenly, so terribly angry at her. Before he could move Gratia did, stepping into the cell and striking Vriska hard across the jaw with their staff, the bell at the end tolling lowly even as the cerulean collapsed against the wall. While she was dazed, the Priestormentor removed the physic dampeners from the Thief's bloodied and cracked horns. 

Gamzee didn't move for a long moment, feeling at the edge of his chucklevoodoos the roiling psychics of the Priestormentors. Eminor asked him a brief, wordless question and he sent back his consent, curious if the three would be able to break Vriska's mind.

He kept out of the mental fight that occurred over the next several minutes, watching as Vriska twisted and thrashed about in her cell and spending droplets of blood splattered on the wall and floor. However her mind was wily, weighed down with billions of sweeps of memories, and augmented with her aspect of Light. He knew, in a way, they wouldn't be able to break her- not with their lack of knowledge over the Game.

When Vriska moved onto her knees and started laughing Gamzee figured enough was enough; he was so angry he was having difficulty thinking coherently and his psychics were bristling, violence and Rage making his skin feel too tight, too hot. Occhio shifted, snake-like tongue flickering out of his mouth briefly before waving off both Eminor and Gratia, whom obediently stepped backwards while pulling free their 'voodoos and gave Gamzee an unobstructed view of the Thief. 

Without a second thought he stormed forward and seized her left arm and with a quick, powerful twist tore it off at the shoulder. Ignoring her pained shriek, he tossed her arm off to the side and seized her throat and slammed her backwards against the wall. Vriska's claws cut into the back of his hand but he ignored the shallow wounds in favour of enveloping the Thief's mind with his own.

Being a psychic and remembering his lessons and eons of practice from a mute Prince Gamzee effortlessly battered aside Vriska's consciousness and instead searched down into her subconscious. While he searched he nearly faltered with mental voice started mocking Vriska, ramming in the lyrics of a wigglersong with intentionally malice into the Thief's mind. It was his voice from a song he knew but it wasn't his intention which created it rather it was Kurloz. 

It was the first time Kurloz had made himself known so blatantly- the Prince had made it very clear from the beginning, back when Gamzee awoke on the beaches of Alternia after the Game died, that he was leaving Gamzee entirely in charge, being more than content to vanish into the background of Gamzee's mind. He'd known that Kurloz could've taken control easily yet defer to the Bard as he'd done back in the Game but now, dealing with one who'd harmed him directly, who'd harmed their _Messiahs_ , made the Prince take special attention on current events. Technically Gamzee should've been concerned, worried that Kurloz wouldn't back down after rousing himself from sweeps of slumber but Kurloz was now him as much as Gamzee was himself and even the current Rage was duo and agreed; Vriska deserved to be punished for her crimes.

Vriska was, after all, responsible for killing his- their -wigglers in one timeline and that was enough to rouse the usually dormant Prince into a tranquil fury and decided to attack her directly. The timeline may have been false, may not be the Alpha one _they_ followed, but it still happened and she'd stalled their Lord, their grown up wiggler who'd became a chimera and devourer of ghosts and their Lord, and erased him using a juju she stole for her own glory and in that instant Kurloz's fury and absolute hate meshed with Gamzee's own- his Rage was more personal as he'd raised his Messiahs, had hugged them and fed them and loved them and while Kurloz would die for them he hadn't been able to raise them. Gamzee's Rage was that of a parent dealing with the person who'd killed or harmed his beloved wigglers and he hated her so viciously and ferociously in that moment, allowing Kurloz to mock and torment Vriska with volatile glee even if it was more of a part of his mind acting out of sorts than an entirely different person.

He allowed that, the mocking song he scantly remembered Jane reading from a book called 'Nursery Rhymes' but it was something Kurloz had noted and deemed fitting and gleefully began to beat it into Vriska's mind while ridiculing her with memories of the Game as Gamzee hunted for the seam, the _fusion._

It worked; Vriska was so preoccupied with Kurloz she failed to realize what Gamzee was intending until he'd gripped the slight difference in subconsciousness which were so subtle none but another Game player would've felt but he did and he attacked it, slowly and methodically peeling apart the Thief and the Slyph while Vriska screamed at him until he pulled and Kurloz pulled and suddenly the mesh between Vriska and Aranea was gone and the cohesion between the two dissolved into a whirling mess of panic, doubt and vertigo. 

While she may be able to mindcontrol those weaker than her Kurloz- Gamzee -was in an entirely different league of his own and with the fracture in her mind now torn asunder she was entirely helpless to his intention; while Kurloz was stronger, older, Gamzee had learned sufficiently while Grand Highblood and before in the Church that he knew that for many, a fate worse than death was what they deserved, especially one who spited him and his wigglers and Jane as much as a Serket had. She wouldn't be granted the mercy of death.

Instead he pulled her consciousness downwards, pulling it free from memory and into a place hollowed among the schism of the split fusion of Thief and Slyph and his Rage pulsed hot and burning as he sealed her within her own Aspect, finding the panicked hopelessness and fear sufficient to use the Serket's own emotions- which were overriding her reason -as a means to imprison her. Light could blind as much as it illuminated and now Vriska was as blind as the Seer she'd attacked so many sweeps ago with Rage providing the padlock.

With a final check and noting with spiteful approval of how Vriska was clawing vainly at her new prison, he pulled back his chucklevoodoos. Then there was a weird sense of vertigo and Gamzee stumbled backwards, only Gratia's steady hands preventing him from tripping over. Shaking his head a few times his mind settled back down, feeling tired- it'd taken quite a bit of strength to break the Serket but he was satisfied she wouldn't escape and would suffer.

Eminor sidled up against Gamzee's side, purple eyes concerned while signing at him _You alright Gamz? You got pretty deep in there._

He grinned at her, tired but pleased, "Nah, all good."

Gratia glanced over at the catatonic cerulean slumped against the wall and one remaining eye staring at nothing in bemusement before giving a shrug, obviously deciding to accept that Gamzee's reasons were his own. 

"Eh, should we dump her off to a Bleeder?" Occhio spoke up, crossing his arms and giving a disproving sniff, "She's fucked up and gonna die fairly soon if she carries on bleeding everywhere like a useless idiot."

"No. Keep her alive and her blood pusher pumpin'," Gamzee said tersely, "Mother fucker is gonna suffer through all the shit she pulled and she's gonna suffer it but good, ain't no escapin' to the dead for her."

Occhio paused, obviously caught off guard by the savage note in Gamzee's voice before he nodded, "Alright don't get your bulge in a fuckin' twist. I'll send down a Doctorturer to make sure this shithead doesn't bleed out and ruin all your hard work."

"Good."

* * *

"She's going to suffer forever," Gamzee said later to his portrait of the two Cherubs, locked in their serpentine forms, "I right on fucked up the one who killed you- she ain't ever gonna claw back up into her fuckin' light. She's gonna die in the darkness."

The Cherubs didn't respond but he figured the intention got across even if he knew he was speaking to a long dead memory more than anything.

He didn't say that to the painting he'd done of Calliope, drawn in her picture of her trollsona with Priest's gift of rare lime for her swirls and eyes; Callie had been a sweet girl and, as far as he'd know, never killed anyone. Her older, wiser self was different but Callie had been was someone he cherished. Still, revenge had been dolled out for her, for his Messiah and he knew death was too good a fate for a Serket. Better to leave them alive and suffering even if he wasn't too sure what the song was that Kurloz chose even though it was hauntingly familiar and made him think of his matesprit Jane for some reason.

 _Itsy bitsy spider,_ the words just appeared in his mind but when he checked the differences of mind between himself and Kurloz were completely gone. He hadn't even realized Kurloz had known all his memories of Jane but in hindsight it was fairly obvious; the Prince had a meticulous memory and spend billions of sweeps observing, calculating, everything he witnessed in the Dreambubbles and, it seemed, he'd also observed the memories of the Bard after the fusion. The strong resurgence of Kurloz was odd but from his own psychics it was if the Prince had vanished again back into his subconscious and had only became coherent for a brief moment to attack their Light player whom was guilty of harming their Messiah.

Gamzee didn't mind, it had been for an important reason anyway and justly deserved.

* * *

"What're you so happy over?" Hestia asked in suspicious tones a few hours later, eyeing him over a bowl of thickly marinated tongues.

"Killed the one who killed my matesprit," Gamzee replied, "Revenge is some good shit, guess those sis back on that rock had some noise right on this.

She stopped, a mouthful of partially eaten tongue wedged among her fangs. Swallowing it down she managed to say, "The fuck you talkin' about? How? Didn't...ain't that happen different with your blueblood?"

"Kinda but had a hand in ya know? Maybe not killing her- least not in this one -but still did bad shit that caused it."

"But you caught her?" Hestia's expression of incredulity shifted into glee and, surprisingly, pride, "B-how? How that work?"

"Stupid fuck went after a carnival, Eureka and Eminor fucked her right up good and dragged her mirthless body down here and the ol' needleman dragged me down that 'cause you know how I gave them that shit on some rebels I thought I got a think on for being there? She was up there and ain't a rebel, just a asshole, but I got her and got her good."

Hestia gave him a gleeful punch in the shoulder, a bright grin on her face and uncaring that she'd accidentally stuck her elbow in the bowl of tongues, "You did? Come on, tell me tell me! I spilled you all the shit when I killed that fishfuck- I did it way too fucking quick -but you drew it out, huh? I can tell by the taste of your 'voodoos which are all twisted up and nice so tell meeeee-"

Over the next half hour he told Hestia everything he'd done, minus a few key details such as the involvement of the Game, but on the whole he kept true to what he'd done. Hestia was vindictively satisfied by the end of it and gleefully made suggestions for what they should do with Vriska's prone body- _'Come on Gamz, would she really need her remainin' eye if she ain't gonna be looking anymore? Or even both her legs?'_ but it felt good to share with a friend. 

Priest looked a little more troubled when Gamzee told him about the whole incident later but had touched him on the shoulder and told him to keep his mind safe. Gamzee understood the warning, even if it was not needed- Kurloz would never be a threat to himself.

* * *

"Do you dream of them?"

Gamzee looked up from where he'd been carefully adding in the final details of the Land of Quartz and Melody next to his completed painting of the Genesis Frog to see Koiboi standing next to his shoulder, large eyes roaming over the nearly finished picture taking up the entire rear wall of Gamzee's painting hall.

"Dreams huh..." Gamzee glanced at the pots of paint arranged around him like wet flowers before dipping his claw into a rust and using it to make a tiny looping shape next to the planet; Aradia's symbol.

When he was done he settled back down, noting he had five other planets to finish and a few others to touch up on. The forest-green Cherub serpents encircled the portrait as a scaly boarder; it had taken him days to etch in all of the scales with the tip of a claw along the duo sinuous lengths.

Gamzee sighed, "Seems like a dream now but that don't mean it ain't causing emotions. Gotta remember them my own way. When I'm not snapping thinkpans. Dreams are weird shit but sometimes they're all ya have, you know?"

Koiboi let out a soft noise of agreement while Gamzee stared at the nebulous eyes of Bilious Slick. When he finally shook off his thoughts and glanced to his side, Koiboi was gone.

* * *

The next day Gamzee was informed he had to meet up with one of the seadweller admirals; from what Eminor informed him it was about some scouting in a new solar system where there had been potential signs of an advanced civilization which could be a source of an invasion. Gamzee found it a little baffling that he was expected to talk to the admiral about it but Eminor told him that as the Grand Highblood he now had to deal with all bloodcastes as the representative of the Church. Seadwellers in particular tended to be fairly uppity and disrespectful, with the Priestormentor confiding she thought they grew less wary of the Church due to the lack of Grand Highblood for so many sweeps and it was up to Gamzee to prove he was capable of dealing with the seadwellers backstabbing manipulations and snobbery.

 _But don't you worry over it too much,_ Eminor had signed reassuringly at him before she left, _The admiral you'll meet with is a young lil' motherfucker juzt like you- so you don't have to worry about him tryin' any manipulative zhit,_ she frowned at that last part, fangs digging into her lower lip before finishing with a quick, _Leazt I don't think zo. Anyway, watch it, yeah?_

He brooded upon that as he waited for the seadweller's ship to dock at the space station just outside orbit of the planet. He didn't particularly want to go back to the lethal paranoia that plagued the rest of the Empire and his last few forays into a non-indigo dominated space always ended in death matches or him wanting to kill an entire room of people.

Gamzee's unease only increased when he traveled to the space station with two of the lesser Priestormentors and he noticed how skittish everyone was acting. A part of him logically guessed the other bloodcastes were in equal parts awe and fright of the new Grand Highblood and were acting appropriately but he noticed the hushed whispers and questioning looks until he finally got fed up enough to question the two Priests with him.

The female Priestormentor, a bright-eyed female with her bushy hair streaked in purple, responded first, "Think it's got somethin' ta do wid the fishy you're meetin' with."

"How so?"

She pursed her plump lips, thinking for a few moments before hesitatingly replying, "I think...I think your Ancestors knew each other- like think the old GHB killed the fishy fish? Maybe they're all ganda bulbin' and hissin' secrets 'cause of that."

The male Priest cut in with, "Think they're hoping for another fuckin' kinda show, you know? Maybe expecting a whole big hoo-raa savage mauling fuckup to happen betwixt you two, yeah."

Gamzee thought for a moment before he snorted loudly, "If he wants a fight all he gotta do is start some shit and we'll be in a fight. I don't really give a single fuck what our Ancestors did to each other."

The two Priests exchanged looks before nodding, accepting his answer without complaint. At least Gamzee knew these two wouldn't be all gossiping and making bets with each other or if they did they'd at least have the decency to do it right to his face. He found the whole 'sneaky underhanded plotting' thing to be ridiculously exhausting despite Kurloz doing it for so long in the Dreambubbles. He'd rather people just try to kill him to his face rather than doing the whole elaborate betrayal route that he heard saturated the seadweller society.

The female Priest look Gamzee's silence as unease and gave him a playful swat on the arm with her gloved hand, saying, "Eh, don't worry about it- even if he starts shit you'll kick his finned ass. Anyway, he's a younglin' just like you so I bet he's totally freaked at being one of the first to talk to the new Grand Highblood," her voice ending on a gleeful note.

As they approached the breakroom Gamzee couldn't help but wonder who the seadweller was- after all from what he knew about Alternian Kurloz was that he had killed a _lot_ of trolls, so whoever the Descendant was Gamzee had no idea. Unlike the 'Scourge Sisters' he never cared about what his Ancestor may have gotten up to and was disinterested in the theatrics his predecessor left behind beyond Church interests. Well, and he was technically fused with Kurloz anyway so it made the whole point moot.

He stopped in front of the giant, iron wrought door, hearing muffled voices and arguing inside. Great, he wasn't even in there yet but he could sense the ripple of irritation and building anger emanating from the room like a smog.

"Hey, we gotcha back," the female Priest assured him, flashing him a long toothed smile which he couldn't help but return. It was still nice to know people would defend him if need be especially since he can remember from wigglerhood was a bunch of backstabbings and hostility barring a very select few.

 _Oh well, at least you're more than capable of defending yourself,_ Jane threw in, abruptly flicking up next to him like a ghost. She was dressed in her Prospit robes this time and Gamzee couldn't help by appreciate the fact they'd both been based on the same carapacian world even if it seemed more like a surreal yellow blur to him at times. Jane sidled up past the two Priestormentors flanking him, pressing close up against his side and followed him as he pushed open the giant doors.

Immediately all conversation in the room died down and dozens of violet eyes fixated on Gamzee and his escort. A calm settled around him underneath the intense scrutiny, a cold order crossing his mind even as the familiar warmth of the chucklevoodoos from the Priests also helped keep him in control as he took an easy step forward, pushing aside his unease and self-consciousnesses.

The nearest seadweller, a male with long S shaped horns and a twisted, overly wide smile fixated upon his face, placed his hands on his narrow waist and bowed deeply. He couldn't see the violetblood's eyes due to the circular mirrored glasses he wore but his mind felt calm and inquisitive. Gamzee was bemused by the strained tension in the air as all the other violetbloods watched as he inclined his head in return to the seadweller's respectful gesture. When he did so the finned troll's demented smile shifted into something more genuine and some of the unbearable tension in the room lessened.

 _What is this lots issue?_ Jane complained off to the side, voice fuzzy as if it were filled with static, _They act as if they think you're going to go Cujo and maul them all. Hmm, I bet that first one was a test._

He shrugged, taking a few more steps in the room and surveying the watchful seadwellers who were still all staring at him in silence; most of them were obviously high-rank, with many being cloaked in stark white which was in contrast with their pitch black skin. Some had blatant sneers on their faces, while others seemed confused, curious or else kept their features carefully blank, no doubt not knowing how to judge the new Grand Highblood and holding their opinions back appropriately. The one who greeted him however was dressed in a long black jacket with a violet belt and sash; there was no symbol upon his clothing, an oddity that caught Gamzee's attention. Strange. However Gamzee had no doubt the other seadwellers had most likely made him stand near the entrance, so he'd been the one forced to greet the new Grand Highblood first like some kind of doorman. Perhaps that had something to do with the violetblood's lack of symbol.

Gamzee had to give it to them, the seadwellers where taking some pains to feel him out especially since the doorman's gesture of respect had been deemed acceptable by himself. Tricky, tricky.

On the tail of that thought the one who bowed approached him with fluid, calm movements and Gamzee stopped glaring at a particularly snobby-looking seadweller a few feet away from him to look at the other violetblood as he approached. He was slender and graceful, with a face that would've been handsome if not for the demented smile still stamped across it and framed by thick fluffy hair. For a moment Gamzee was reminded of Horuss and his constant, disturbing smiling and felt a pang of hivesickness that vanished as quickly as it appeared.

However when the seadweller spoke his voice was sonorous and deep, in contrast to his lithe and elegant frame, "Greetings. Grand Highblood. Welcome here."

"Yeah thanks, getting a pretty fan-fucking-tastic greeting from you lot so far," Gamzee snorted, casting a glare at the rest of the silent room before looking back at the seadweller, "You on the other hand are alright. How the fuck you doing?"

If possible the violetblood's smile widened even more and a part of Gamzee was worried his entire face was going to split in half, "I fine. You look fine. Same for companions. Here to preside?"

"Yeah, I am," Gamzee grinned and the seadweller clasped his hands to his violet sash, ear fins twitching madly as if he was profoundly pleased with the news. Gamzee didn't know why but from his scan with his psychics the seadweller's mind felt weirdly focused and near fanatical- it was also strangely shallow yet deep, like a spring well gone dry akin to if he lacked a majority of his memories. Before Gamzee could ask however the movement the seadweller made with his hands caused the light to sparkle over his left and Gamzee's eyes were instantly drawn to it.

Gamzee offered a hand and after a brief pause the seadweller carefully played his left one in it. The seadweller's hand was covered in scars and heavy with callouses, with long elegant fingers and strong glossy claws. However it was the elaborate claw polish that caught Gamzee's gaze; the seadweller's nails had been painstakingly painted to resemble the Alternia night sky, with dozens of tiny diamonds inlaid to represent stars and thick amethysts to portray the moon going through its waxing cycle.

"Shit, this is some pretty nail glitter," Gamzee said, turning the seadweller's hand around. He darted a glance at the violetblood's right hand but curiously enough he only seemed to have decorated his left. 

The seadweller dipped his head, mirrored glasses shimmering with the movement as he said, "My thanks. You think of some? For yourself."

Gamzee was about to respond when he stiffened, ears perking up as he inhaled deeply. He knew that smell, that potent scent of sea salt, gel and the strange, left over acidity of that Aspect. Curious he reached out with his mind, feeling his psychics press up against numerous minds. The Priests gently pressed back with their 'voodoos but his attention was ensnared by a specific mind in the room, a mind which had a weird hissing hum vibrating in the back of their thoughts, a mind which he knew for billions of sweeps enclosed within the dreambubbles with, a mind he saw snuffed out in front him via a chainsaw wielded by an enraged Rainbow Drinker.

Quickly he dropped the seadweller's hand and moved forward, shoving aside a random seadweller without a second thought as he craned his neck around, searching for the source of the familiar smell and mind. The violetblood stumbled but knew better than to complain as Gamzee bulled past, knocking aside a few more trolls before he spotted a tall figure wearing the traditional white uniform of a fleet admiral. Though the seadweller had his back to him, Gamzee recognized those sharply angled horns instantly and without further hesitation he launched himself forward and grabbed onto the admiral.

"Hahaha, how the absolute fuck are you fishybro?" Gamzee exclaimed happily, crushing Eridan up against his chest in a bruising hug as he ignored the startled exclamations around them, "Ain't seen scale or fin of you since that tenacious Game shit!"

The humming in Eridan's mind spiked violently when Gamzee seized him, turning into a disjointed chorus of sibilant hissing before it suddenly died off, the recognition flushing through the seadweller's mind like water from a burst dam and the disturbing singing quietened down. Gamzee couldn't help but snort in a heavy breath against Eridan's neck, his scent all the more pungent for how close Gamzee was to the seadweller's frilly neck gills. After squirming in his grip for a few moments Eridan apparently became resigned to the hug, dangling in the clown's grip with the smooth tops of his lightning bolt horns pressing against the underside of Gamzee's jaw.

Then deep sigh sounded before a jeweled hand twisted up and patted the side of Gamzee's face as Eridan spoke, voice muffed against the indigo's chest, "Heya Gamz."

* * *

Needless to say Gamzee didn't really bother about the rest of the seadwellers after meeting Eridan again. He hadn't realized how badly he'd missed his old SGRUB companions until he found another on in the flesh who he actually _liked_ and he was all but vibrating in excitement; he was tempted to stand there hugging Eridan some more before a more rational part of his mind pointed out he had a mission to do.

Luck would have it the mission actually _was_ about Eridan and he was the admiral Gamzee was supposed to meet anyway. No wonder everyone was all skittish about the two meeting, since Gamzee knew a few scant memories of their Ancestors, mainly from Aranea's obnoxious monologing and those stupid revenge cycles the girls kept on getting involved in. He used to not understand but his recent imprisonment of Vriska had made it clear where the allure or revenge was. 

Shaking off the thought he'd put Eridan down and then offered to go have their meeting elsewhere, since the intense staring was starting to piss him off; he didn't even bother to lower his voice for that one, loudly voicing his displeasure at the obvious timewasting tactics of many of the seadweller hierarchy. At least some had the grace to look chastised, while Eridan on the other hand seemed more than eager to leave the room of other violetbloods and accepted his offer without protest. Gamzee ignored the staring seadwellers as he bodily hauled Eridan from the room, the two Priestormentors following him as they left. It was after five minutes Gamzee realized he had no idea where he was going and Eridan gave him directions to a private conference room they could use for their discussion and they arrived within minutes. He lingered out the door, still gripping Eridan as if he was convinced the seadweller would up and vanish if he let go of him and cast a look at the two Priestormentors still flanking him. Luckily they understood his intent immediately.

"Eh, have ya chat," the female one assured him, while the male nodded, "Morbus only said shit about stopping you from killing each other and I'm thinkin' your fine. We'll just be out in the hall talkin' 'bout shit, so you go do your thing with the fish and we'll wait out here. Give a 'voodoo if you need anythin'."

At least the Priestormentors weren't obnoxious and invasive like those seadwellers; Gamzee was beginning to appreciate the mindset within the Church more with every excursion outside of it but the room those two Priests were a soothing balm whenever he would probe with his chucklevoodoos, a constant reminder he wasn't alone anymore. He kept grinning at Eridan when they entered the conference room- which was rather sparse apart from a few chairs and a heavy table- and the seadweller sat on the nearest chair and crossed his long legs.

After spending some more time smiling at the Prince Gamzee eventually settled down on the chair opposite him, leaning forward with his arms braced on his thighs. It was such a turn of mood compared to when he'd run into Pyrope, Zahhak and Serket. He was so profoundly _happy_ and he wasn't sure if it was just because Eridan was an admiral or someone who hadn't outwardly affected him or Kurloz in any kind of negative manner. There was no ugly memories to taint the reunion and perhaps the gratefulness of something that reminded him of his past not soaked in such negativity was why he was so giddy.

For a long while the two watched each other, Eridan with his bright violet eyes and Gamzee with his purple ones, and the clown eagerly drank in his old friend's face, even if it had changed with age. Gamzee was fascinated to note Eridan now had scars matching the lightning bolt ones Cronus had on his temple in the Dreambubbles. However unlike the Bard Eridan's two scars crossed half of his face, narrowly missing his right eye. Despite that the marks gave an odd air of elegance to his features, matched by the rectangular glasses resting along the bridge of his nose.

"You look good," Gamzee eventually decided to say. It was the truth; most of the memories Kurloz had of Cronus was of the other troll, almost frail and flighty with an undercurrent of neediness. His mind had deteriorated badly in the dreambubbles- like most of the Dancestors actually -and Eridan seemed depressed and repressed just as much, with the gangly and skinny frame of a seadweller youth. While Gamzee didn't really have any place to lecture anyone on fashion, the admiral uniform seemed to fit Eridan greatly, showing how the scrawny and ill-fitting Prince had pupated into the streamlined and powerful form of an adult seadweller, the thick sinew and sharply angled frame typical to his blood caste fitting him perfectly. His lightning bolt horns fit right in with his new body shape and Gamzee was amused to notice Eridan had kept the violet streak in his hair.

His cape was long and jagged, with the inside the same colour as his blood, and currently it was pooled around the floor of Eridan's chair. A large violet jewel etched with his symbol was situated on his collar bone where the cape attached itself. Golden buttons dotted his jacket and a golden belt was wrapped around his narrow hips and there was matching gold on his black shoes. All the white was a bit blatant but Gamzee guessed it was a seadweller thing, even if it wasn't something the Condesce herself personally ascribed to and it did match Cronus' fashion back in the deambubbles.

Eridan stared at Gamzee some more before slowly responding to his statement with a bored, "You too," even as a faint smile curled up his lips.

"When you become an admiral?"

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, "Over a sweep ago."

Gamzee furrowed his brow as he thought that over; if it was a sweep ago then it implied Eridan became an admiral almost the same time as his pupation. Despite all the rush in declaring him the new Grand Highblood Gamzee knew only a variety of specific reasons were why he got the position in the first place and even then there were a few protests, mainly due to his age and inexperience which Gamzee secretly agreed with but the aid given to him by the Authority and rest of the Church.

"Uh," Gamzee rolled his shoulders restlessly, causing the metal of his chair to groan slightly from the movement, "Ain't that shit all kinds of hiveshit hard? Like I ain't really seen any of you seafish motherfucks and your shit but from what I know admirals are pretty fuckin' up there with Condy," The nickname the Empress had insisted on him saying just slipped out and Gamzee didn't miss the way Eridan's eyebrows rose at the word. However he made no comment on the nickname and Gamzee was grateful.

"Nah, becoming an admiral is actually kinda easy," Eridan admitted, "It's staying alive as one which is the real challenge. It's why when we finish gettin' that schoolfeeding fuckall people decided to becoming an admiral right away. Like about ninety percent of us die in the first sweep of it."

"So been sniped at a lot, huh?" Gamzee asked, humour bleeding into his voice.

Eridan grimaced, shifting in his seat as he uncrossed then recrossed his long legs, "Yeah, fuckin' quarters turned into a bloodbath more times then I care to count; damn assassins and their ability to sneak into even the most tiny of containers, like I fucking swear one even snuck into my sylladex at some point. Makes my paranoia go right through the shitting ceiling, it's like being back on that craptastic planet of mine way back."

"Laughassassins?"

"Ah no, haven't pissed off the Church that much, I ain't stupid."

Gamzee laughed at that, a bright, honking laugh. He missed Eridan so much. He missed all his friends, even the ones he kinda hated and had met. Eridan he didn't hate which made it easier. Yeah he was annoying as Cronus but then all the Dancestors had their thinkpans fried fairly badly from those billions of sweeps doing nothing so he didn't really mind and Eridan he'd liked.

 _Ask Eridan about that strange hymns within his mind, that eerie singing,_ Jane's soft voice suggested. He perked up, glancing next to him and Jane smiled from where she was sitting on one of the spare chairs in her brown Godtier clothes. She had no blood on her this time and was sporting no death wounds and for that Gamzee was grateful even if her whole form was blurry and translucent. He didn't like it when she showed up all gory and bloodied from her death but her suggestion did immediately snag his attention.

He nodded along with what Jane said, saying, "Yeah, yeah, what was with that weird shitnasty noise in your thinkpan, bro? Like I could hear it hissing away in the background when I touched it and it got all snarlin' when I gave you a motherfuckin hug." Something about the muted singing nagged at Gamzee's mind as well, like an odd certainty he'd heard it before. But where?

Scratching his ear irritably Gamzee looked at Eridan but noticed he wasn't paying Gamzee any attention at all; instead he was staring intensely at the spot Jane was sitting, his violet eyes narrowed behind his glasses. The large, elaborate fins all seadwellers had were flared out fully and his mouth was open slightly to show the glint of long white fangs.

"Who..." Eridan's voiced trailed off, claws digging into the arm of his chair as he twitched. The admiral looked like he was a few seconds away from launching himself out of his chair. Confused, Gamzee looked between him and Jane; no, she was still translucent and had that soft sublet purple glow of chucklevoodoos emanating from her as always.

Then Eridan just slumped backwards with a huff, sprawling in his chair even as his eyes still glittered brightly. Despite his faux causal stance Gamzee could hear the agitated humming from his mind and his leg was switching. After a long moment of silence Eridan spoke, his voice overly casual, "How'd you snag a human?"

Gamzee blinked, "What?"

Eridan huffed before pointing directly at Jane, the jewels on his rings sparkling in the cold lighting, "That one sitting right there. Like I know I need glasses and shit but I ain't fuckin' blind."

Quickly Gamzee looked at Jane, who shrugged, then back at Eridan, "You can see her? How the fuck you doing that? I've been in the motherfuckin' Church and I know ain't anyone in there seeing her and this shit is like my 'voodoos searing at my own fucking pan."

"Yeah I dunno what the fuck you been doing in that clown Church but I sure as _shit_ can see a human sitting on that chair over there lookin' real unimpressed with me right now," Eridan retorted.

 _Oh wow, this is interesting,_ Jane said, sitting up as her eyes gleamed brightly in her melting face, _Nobody has been able to see me before! Maybe it's because he's a Hope player?_

"Is that why?" Gamzee demanded.

"What?"

"Don't fucking start shit," Gamzee snapped, eyes narrowing as he bristled, "Is that why you can see her?"

Eridan gave him a sharp look, "I can't fucking hear her, dumbass. All I can see is like some really weird flimsy shit like the crappiest holo ever- I know enough to kinda see her but I dunno if she said anything."

Gamzee paused at that, casting another look at Jane's flickering form before eyeing Eridan speculatively. 

_Well, remember all of Kurloz's spying? Jake had some weird manifestation of Dirk with him which Aranea couldn't see- however Terezi could, because she was a Mind player. While I'm not exactly a manifestation of a Hope player like that phantom was it wouldn't seem a stretch that only a fellow of the same aspect could see me as well,_ Jane suggested helpfully.

"She ain't real," Gamzee said bluntly in lieu of answering, "Like just me doing psychic shit to myself; like she ain't around as often as she used to be all up in my sniff node. Figured maybe you can see her 'cause Hope shit."

Eridan frowned, his dark lips twisting downward, but otherwise didn't seem too interested in pursuing the topic beyond giving Jane another lingering stare. Gamzee didn't badger him about it, instead letting out a sigh and pinching the bridge of his nose. He inhaled deeply before forcing himself to relax. Gamzee wasn't really sure why he had been so suspicious and angrily reactive towards Eridan noticing Jane. He blamed it on spending too much at the Church, which made him feel weirdly tense and uneasy about anyone other than a clown and the last few encounters he'd had with his old SGRUB group hadn't been exactly on friendly terms even if they deserved it.

Gamzee shook off the thought; he'd had enough of fighting with his friends even if they were ones he didn't like. Swallowing thickly Gamzee took several more deep breaths before relaxing. Across from him Eridan stance also shifted from tense to casual and a calculating part of Gamzee's mind noted the odd humming within him died down as well. Part of him wasn't even sure he wanted to know _what_ was causing the odd noise. It, strangely enough, reminded him of the unicorn he met so long ago which had branded his palm. He wondered if there was a reason for it, a connection.

Truthfully he didn't want to think about anything relating to the Game right now and on the tail of that thought he saw Jane vanish from the corner of his eyes. Eridan didn't respond to that beyond a slight narrowing of his eyes and Gamzee said, "Anyway, you just the one I gotta talk with? Some uh scouting shit I think."

"Urgh, yeah that. There are some 'signs' but it's mainly shit like derelict space stations. Just...dumb shit like that. Probably the main reason I'm being made to talk to you about this useless crap is so I could be used as like a sacrificial clawbeast for ya royal purple ass."

"Aw shit, am I really that scary?"

Eridan smirked, "Kinda. You've uh, grown."

He just shrugged in response; truthfully he found his new height a pain in the ass sometimes but the whole knee jerk awe was more of an annoyance and he sometimes banged his horns on things if he forgot there was a narrow doorway but at least on Subjugglator vessels he never had that issue. But Gamzee ignored that so instead he asked, "So since this is just gotta be a noise session of fake shit that ain't even happening, how about we meet up for like some food maybe?"

"What? You...mean like lunch?" Eridan seemed bemused by the request but Gamzee couldn't understand why.

"Yeah...like we ain't seen each other for so fuckin' long and I wanna like you on," Gamzee pressed, "So why not catch up on shit? And not on some fucked up waste of time ploy?"

Eridan studied him with bright violet eyes before the corner of his mouth twitched upward, "Hmm well I could clear it with Oyster. He's my XO. Well, that, and my recommissions officer and general paperwork wrangler. There is some perks to being an admiral so I can heap that borin' shit off to someone else."

"Who's Oyster?"

Eridan arched an eyebrow, his two large facial scars stretching with the movement, "You met him right before you grabbed me- you know, the one with the Horuss smile? And sparkly as shit nails, he does 'em different each day."

"That claw art was some wicked shit. Though yeah, uh, what's with that smiling?" Gamzee frowned slightly, "Like the whole smilin' thing is okay I guess but it seems pretty fuckin' painful after a while 'cause like Horuss didn't bother with that shit 'cause he was dead and all. So what's with that fish doing it?"

Eridan's smile became sharp, "He was sent to Re-Education."

"Ah."

Truthfully Gamzee had only heard rumours of 'Re-Education'. It was apparently something only Highbloods and high positioned Midbloods got sent to, where _something_ happened to them, depending on the severity of their crimes. Nobody seemed to know the specifics involved and those that returned were odd, to say the least, and never spoke of what they were subjected to. Gamzee didn't know, mainly due to the Church never sending their own there. Issues like that were dealt with internally in the Church.

Regardless, he wanted to spend some time with his wayward friend, so he said, "You keen? Like to meet up? All casual shit."

"Alright fine," Eridan rolled his eyes in an exaggerated gesture, "Since you pressed so hard. I'll check with Oyster and send you a message, telling when I'm free like in a fortnight 'cause I still gotta wait on some shit. Guess some fucks can wait while I'm paling it up with the new Grand Highblood especially since this whole scouting thing is complete bullshit."

"Great!" Gamzee's smile was bright, showcasing all his fangs, before he made a face, "But like I'd probably get an audio duct full if I ain't got all this shit down, so tell me more about this dumbfuck report you're supposed to be borin' me with."

* * *

Nearly an hour later Gamzee left his meet up with Eridan feeling calm and content. Truthfully the whole thing went far beyond his expectations and a tension he didn't even realize he was holding had vanished from his body. It's almost like he subconsciously knew SGRUB members were supposed to stay together and he was finally relaxing after finding another one whom he didn't dislike. At least Eridan was marginally less annoying than he remembered and he approved of the way Eridan had grown up. It'd be nice, to catch up with him when it wasn't about work stuff though so he made a metal note to keep an eye on his trollian for Eridan's message.

Also the whole situation where the seadweller could see Jane was a surprise; bad or good, Gamzee was still unsure but a surprise nonetheless. He couldn't tell if he was happy or unhappy over it either. As time progressed it seemed like Jane had shifted into a manifestation of all his past, all the ugliness and beauty he'd encountered and she made sure he remembered it, even though logically he knew she was simply part of him rather than being her own person, that the true Jane died so long ago.

"Glad that's kinda over," Gamzee confided with the female Priestormentor as they boarded departing shuttle, "Like I can tolerate my fishbro but the rest of them motherfuckers can go drown in oil, like fucking shit they're snarky asses."

She laughed and nudged him with his elbow even as the shuttle rocked in place a few times before departing from the massive station, making its way back to the Subjugglator flagship. Her voice was amused as she said, "Well ain't gonna worry 'cause least you've got contact with one you know, ye? So that's fucking settled, even if the rest of those fish need to shut the fuck up."

"Yeah, that lot know how to say a lot while saying fuckall. Least I know what Eribro wants."

Then Occhio strolled up to him when Gamzee barely had a foot out of the shuttle after it docked.

"The Condesce has requested you attend the Admiralty Board meeting this week," Occhio said in a bored tone.

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

* * *

The week passed in a blur and before he knew it Eminor was tapping his shoulder and signing that he needed to go to the seadweller ship yet again to preside over the board meeting. Becoming the new Grand Highblood had been immensely hectic with duties as always and Gamzee had spent most of the week traveling and familiarizing himself him a few of the carnivals scattered across the current galactic quadrant they were in, or spending time on trollian chatting to Koiboi and Hestia and occasionally Eridan when they were online at the same time. He was glad Koiboi was having fun at the silkworks factory he was visiting but the videos the other clown kept sending him about boiling trolls was strange and Gamzee wasn't sure what to make of them. Well, they were better than the vore videos Hestia kept flooding his inbox with. He guessed. He wasn't sure. It was still weird.

Regardless he wasn't looking forward to overseeing a bickering congregation of irate seadwellers; Gamzee had little doubt that's what this 'meeting' between the admirals would dissolve into. He'd grown used to the comradeship between the Church and being shoved back into the vicious environment of near every other part of the Empire unsettled him. At least Eminor assured him that the admirals at the moment would be more interested in 'feeling him out' rather than trying to kill him. The Priests had made it _very_ clear what would happen if Gamzee died while at the board, something that'd been stamped with the Condesce's approval so the seadwellers would be on their best behaviour. Eridan had dismissed that in their scant trollian conversations, telling him the admirals had been getting into fights and screaming at one another more often than not and Gamzee could get caught in the crossfire by the irate seadwellers.

He still felt fidgety when he visited the colossal ship, one of the largest in the fleet and just slightly smaller than the Subjugglator flagship. It was a floating city and Gamzee was given the royal treatment when he arrived, at the hands of two bluebloods who looked near to fainting at his appearance and fell over themselves to please him. The living quarters he was granted was as lavish as any he'd ever seen with nearly everything inlaid with gold and jewels. It was far removed from the organic feel of the Chruch, where bones, skulls and tanned hide were common place. However he'd wager only the Condesce's quarters outstripped his in wealth and for a while Gamzee entertained himself by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu which, according to the bluebloods, cost the average midblood ten sweeps salary.

Gamzee didn't understand that, as the food was tasty but not something he'd call amazing. Jane cooked better than this. Then again the human claimed that food tasted better when 'made with love' so Gamzee guessed it wasn't something trolls could do easily.

It was still another day before the meeting so after having a bath- seadwellers had such ridiculously deep baths and Gamzee nearly drowned by accident before he found the plug -he decided to explore the ship. Many of the trolls, especially the slaves and servants, fell over themselves to greet him which was something that warmed him deep inside. He still had so many memories of being ignored and hated within SGRUB that even just the blind, fearful recognition from these strangers appeased him. Not to mention all of the Priest's and Abutor's reminders of his new status, how it was one that deserved- nay, required -such respect to work.

He liked it.

However there was something, so deep down he barely even noticed it, that seemed slightly disturbed from it all but it hardly registered so he ignored it. 

Gamzee's wanderings led him to the colossal gardens on board the ship, the atmosphere getting noticeably wetter as soon as he entered the vast hall. It was like Gratia's greenhouse in terms of the humidity and sheer variety of flora everywhere however Gamzee doubted there were as many poisonous plants as the Priestormentor had. The ceiling was so tall Gamzee couldn't even make out the details in the thick supports and he got distracted by a nearby plant that started to moo lowly. He tried to touch the white and black speckled plant but it promptly tried to bite his hand off so he left it alone after an irritated growl.

The gardens smelled magnificent and many of the flowers were emanating odours that made him salivate thickly when he got close. However he remembered Gratia's warnings about toxic flora so he kept his tongue to himself despite wanting to eat many of the blooming flowers and continued to wander through the lavish place.

The servants and slaves were scare in the gardens and it seemed a place for seadwellers to lounge about, especially since ponds were scattered about with the violetbloods seemingly using them to bathe in their leisure time. He found it interesting just to watch them, many of the admirals having scars or tattered fins, even one massive female with two robotic limbs and a snapped horn. They were all true fighters, the spear to the Empire's invasions and in Eridan's own words on the toughest, most wily and vicious of all seadwellers could live as one. 

Gamzee guessed he should've invited Eridan to an early meeting before he had to go to the board room but he didn't want to seem pushy. A part of him was afraid Eridan might reject him, even if there was absolutely no weight behind the thought. It was fascinating that despite all his power and security the Church allowed him he still felt a kind of fear after the fairly terrible reunions with Pyrope, Zahhak and Serket. 

It was when he was passing by another of the small ponds ringed by small white towers and immense flora in all hues of the hemospectrum that someone specifically called him out and sufficiently dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Ah, Grand Highblood, come here a minute would you?" the voice was calm and amused, but there was a firm pressure as if the owner had the expectation of being obeyed, even by him. Bemused, and more than a little curious, Gamzee obeyed, turning into one of the smaller ponds where a violetblood was reclining on a long white bench.

The seadweller was lithe, with slender limbs and willowy frame. Despite the delicateness of her body her eyes were as sharp as the six points of her curling horns. Her fringe was sharp, her round face bracketed by two long bangs. Despite her caste she was dressed rather modestly; a violet leotard clung tight to her black flesh, with three loops of pearls linked around her elegant throat. Matching gems gleamed around her wrists; the only gold adorning her were three rings and two long earrings piercing the membranes of the lowest tine of her fins. 

She was lying on a lounge chair a few feet from one of the ponds, with long bare legs crossed; A sheer skirt hung from her waist, mimicking the form of a jellyfish and was bunched up around her legs and hips. With a smile curving up her violet painted lips she beckoned him, calling out, "Do not be shy, let me see. The whole Empire has been simply been _rife_ with speculation and excitement about the new Grand Highblood inducted into the rank of the illustrious Church."

Curious he approached her, saying "Yeah, people have a lot to talk about. Ain't been one of me around for a good long while."

"Hmm and I wonder _why_ ," there was odd note in the seadweller's voice- either mockery or contempt, he was unsure but before he could dwell on it further she added, "I am Cirean Sieren."

"Gamzee Makara," he replied automatically, mostly out of politeness.

Cirean's lip curled up, violet eyes gleaming bright, "Obviously."

"Heh, guess it is," he found her attitude amusing even, especially considering how much large he was than she. He paused, glancing around and spotted another seat the opposite side of the pond and said, "How about this mother fucker gets his sit on-"

"No."

_Friendly._

Stretching with languid grace Cirean smiled at him, "Oh come now, I've heard so much about you- the youngest Grand Highblood ever, following in the footsteps of his Ancestor who died at the hands of that mutated landlocked gutterblood during one of the greatest attempted rebellions there was and caused the banning of us all off our home planet. Such a tale."

"Actually that brown fucker had wings," Gamzee couldn't help but say, "So he ain't more landlocked then you fishy fish all are."

"Hm, true. No where near as wondrous as a mertroll is but what else do you expect from such a lowly blooded caste with their limited imaginations," Cirean made a fairly disgusted face, absent mindedly toying with one of her earrings with an elegant fingertip.

Gamzee paused at that word; he knew mertrolls enough from the romance novels Koiboi was fond of reading in his spare time but honestly when he thought of the word the only thing that came to mind was the Nocturne, with his primeval appearance with a long tail and many fins so the Bard decided to say as much, "So you all into mertrolls, huh? I met a motherfucker who might've been like descendant of one or something."

A expression of mock shock crossed Cirean's round face, "Truly? Count me _completely_ amazed, Grand Highblood."

"Nah I ain't kidding; met him way back, locked in some star-dust-glow prison, fucking creepy and mad as shit. Had loads of fins all over his limbs with a long ass tail and shit. Freaked me the fuck out back in my wiggler days."

To his satisfaction Cirean's large violet eyes widened in genuine surprise, plump lips parting slightly, "Indeed? Where...where abouts did you find such a creature?" 

"In some cave. Nutty as shit but like...kinda figured maybe mertrolls used to be us, you know? Back before we all became a proper Empire and shit. Wings and fins, huh? Ain't much...um, landlocked or whatever the fuck you called it, until it all but died like a recessive bloodline. Or uh, whatever. Ain't really a brooder."

Cirean's expression turned thoughtful, fins twitching as she contemplated what he said. Then her features shifted, the pensiveness vanishing and the playful expression returning, "Such a fine tale, Grand Highblood. You are already well integrated with the many secrets of our race, I see, and at such a tender age."

Gamzee shrugged, his paulrons rollings with the gesture, "Can't teach an old barkbeast new tricks, sometimes gotta get in the new blood. As ya say."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "So I see."

He just smirked at her and a part of him was pleased with the disdainful expression that got him. She was extremely subtle in her contempt of him but from Kurloz's billions of sweeps sealed within the dreambubbles Gamzee was all but a master at picking up subtle facial expressions. Only the best of poker faces fooled him and as a seadweller Cirean obviously never felt, nor wanted, a reason to be careful with her scorn. It was fascinating as she was the first violetblood he'd spoken directly to who had a hostile reaction of him. Or at least condescending. 

"Anyways, now you gotta look and found some shit out whatcha think?" Gamzee couldn't help but push.

Slowly Cirean shifted her gaze up and down his body, violet eyes dark and unreadable before a smile crossed her face, "I think you resemble that Ancestor of yours _very_ closely. Thus you should be quite wary when hunting rebels, I heard those sordid things have some wings among their number. Would be _such_ a shame to reenact past events."

Gamzee bared his teeth in the facsimile of a grin, "Who knows what the utter fuck life has for us. Either of us. So yeah, unless you got some other shit you wanna be all passive at me and myself about?"

Cirean's eyebrows rose before she waved a hand dismissively, "Oh no, I wouldn't want to distract you from your undoubtedly important scheduled. Good night, Grand Highblood, and send my warmest regards to our beloved Empress."

He gave her a funny look but otherwise didn't really want to decipher the weird suggestive undertone to her last sentence and without further ado he turned and left, feeling slightly troubled. Was the Condesce's interest in him that blatant? He didn't really want to think too deeply about it.

* * *

Gamzee swallowed down his nervousness as he entered the Admiralty Board meeting room later- it was empty besides two admirals who were seating across from each other at the massive round table. Gamzee smoothed out his features before going to the largest, most elaborate chair; one that was usually reserved for the Condesce but since she wasn't attending he was given permission to use it. As he settled down on the black marble he muttered a thanks for the sheer size of the thing. At least the Condesce had so much hair the chairs she used could easily seat him since they were so roomy.

Of the two admirals both were female and the one closest to him was wearing an eerie white mask in the shape of a birds beak that covered the majority of her face. Her horns were long and wavy, framing a wild, violet-streaked Mohawk. She was wearing a white crop top and heavy bandages around her forearms. Judging from the sheer amount of scarring that littered her bare skin and the thick, jewel-encrusted spiked gloves she was wearing he guessed she was no stranger to combat. When she leaned back in her seat, resting her ankles up on the table top, he saw she was also wearing knee high boots with short spikes at the toe along with a large, star-shaped scar on her abdomen just above the belt of her white shorts.

Gamzee was fairly sure her name was Lazuli or something like that. A odd name, since he was relatively sure Lazuli was more associated with bluebloods but Gamzee didn't really care. Something seemed off about her though and it took him a moment to realize he couldn't see her fins. Even the smallest of seadweller fins were elaborate enough they were the most recognizable aspect of being a violetblood. But Gamzee couldn't see them at all and after some careful observing he noted what looked like scar tissue inching out behind her white mask. 

_So she's prob like Ashure- fucked up so she's hidin' her face. Damn, so they would've cut her fins off,_ The thought disturbed him somewhat. On the end of that Lazuli seemingly noticed his staring and he blinked at her, matching her violent gaze with his indigo one. After a long moment she dipped her head, the sharp beak of her mask tapping faintly against the tabletop and he let out a grunt of acknowledgement.

He didn't expect the other admiral, a tall lithe female wearing a sheer veil which covered her face and violet-edged shirt which bared her midriff and ruffled pants, to get up from her chair and approach him. He kept his face carefully blank even as he drummed his nails on the arm of the chair, his sharp claws clacking loudly on the marble. Undaunted the female drew closer until she was a few feet away; even with her standing she reached his eye level while he was sitting and Gamzee once again was bemused to how small mostly everyone was to him now.

The admiral gave him a formal bow, an old gesture of respect that caused his eyebrows to raise slightly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you in the flesh, newly-acquainted Grand Highblood," she greeted, her voice thick and husky behind her veil. This close he could now see the fabric was scattered with flecks of gold and gemstones which matched the ones tangled in her short curly hair.

He inclined his head, smiling slightly, "Good to meet you too seasis- though I ain't as good at rememberin' all of you're names. Quite a few of you fishy fucks swimmin' around."

She laughed, "Not to worry- it took me a few sweeps to figure everyone out here as well. My name is Oriole Verity. I knew your Ancestor, Kurloz, rather well and worked with him on a few invasions. He was...quite the individual."

"Huh," he didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Though he was technically fused with Kurloz, he knew the Alternian Kurloz was as different as the Condesce was from Meenah. Though considering the Church and all he'd experienced Gamzee guessed he would've gotten along with him.

The admiral must have sensed Gamzee's unease for she quickly switched the subject, asking, "This is your first time residing over a board meeting, isn't it?"

"Yeah, figured it ain't gonna be that bad compared with some of the shit I've dealt with already."

Oriole gave a snort, "Wait until the screaming and fist-shaking starts- there will also be quite a few murder attempts but what can you do."

"That bad, huh?"

Her violet eyes narrowed slightly above her veil as a sinister note entered her husky voice, "There's been quite a bit of tension between us all- now we're going to be in the same place so feuds and accusations are going to come to the front. There's been rumours of a traitor in our midst since the murder of one of the Admirals. This usually isn't surprising, however what _is_ concerning is that the deceased Porter was killed by rebels. So if they got to him by information from our own..."

"Then it'd be treason," he finished with a frown. Oriole was right; killing each other within the Empire wasn't exactly note worthy or concerning, especially if it was within the same bloodcaste or by Highbloods. However outing others to rebels to get them killed, that was going over the line. He was fairly unconcerned by the rebels themselves but having traitors within the ranks, especially an admiral was something that needed to be doubt with even if the betrayal was done from spite.

Oriole seemed to register his brood for she gave him another formal bow and was about to leave; he quickly raised a hand to stop her and was inwardly impressed when she immediately halted. Not even a perigee into being the Grand Highblood and already admirals were obeying him despite their substantial rank. Logically he knew it was moreso due to his rank and the blatant favourtism the Condesce showed to the Church, but it was nice to be acknowledged when he'd gone sweeps of being ignored or senselessly abused, as he went through the Game.

"Ain't seen many trolls with horns like yours," Gamzee couldn't help but say; it was true though, as rather than being tall and elaborate, her two horns were short but with dozens of jagged ends so they looked like long-lipped flowers in bloom.

 _Like tulips,_ Jane's voice whispered at the back of his mind.

Oriole smiled at his words, running a finger along her bright horns before saying, "And your horns are quite wonderful. So tall and wavy, like the undulations of a wave."

"Flatterer."

"Well, I can try."

"Suck up," The words came as a sing-song from Lazuli, still lounging back in her chair. Oriole just gave her an exasperated look and Gamzee guessed there wasn't any bad blood between the women, a thought strengthened when Oriole gave him another bow before walking back to her seat and starting a discussion with the other admiral.

Gamzee grunted but his attention was snagged when the door open and three other seadwellers came inside. The first two immediately went to their designated seats, a male and female. Both were wearing gleaming white armour and both ignored him as they walked past which made him raise his eyebrows. The one lagging behind was only clad in a white and violet loincloth wrapped around his narrow hips and there was so much jewelry and gold piercing his fins Gamzee wondered how it didn't drag down his head from the sheer weight.

One of the admirals with long, sword-like horns, shuffled the pile of paper in front of her, a frown settling heavily on her scarred face. Her shoulder length hair was a tangled mess that was in contrast with the pure white neatness of her suit-jacket uniform. Gamzee racked his thinkpan trying to remember her name from the numerous bios he'd spent last night reading on, due to Koiboi's insisting.

 _Chiara Deanna,_ he finally remembered. One of the oldest admirals on the Board apparently. Responsible for the Massacre of Albyn Shihala, one of the bloodiest invasions to date. By all accounts blood rained from the sky at the height of battle. Seemed rather annoying to Gamzee, in all honesty. He watched her discreetly as she flipped a few more papers over, frowning at them before jotting down a few more notes with her feathery pen. Like most admirals she was wearing a traditional white suit and cape but hers was thickly tinted in black with dotted with violet buttons that matched her painted lips and long nails.

As if sensing his scrutiny Chiara looked up at him; her frustrated expression smoothed out and she gave Gamzee a short, respectful nod before returning to her papers.

More and more seadwellers showed up and with it the tension in the air rose; some greeted others with obvious familiarity and friendliness while others were hostile and terse. A few just completely ignored everyone and sat at their seats without a word and Gamzee took note of them all. One of the males snagged his attention, and Gamzee had a feeling that one was in the centre of the current issues on the board.

Varian, Gamzee was pretty sure that was his name. Gamzee couldn't remember his last but he figured it was irrelevant as he couldn't even remember half of the Admiralty board. At this rate he'd forget all of their names in a few hours anyway. Varian was one of the smallest admirals, with small square glasses perched on his crocked nose and a sour look on his face. His horns were long and needle-like and a long scar crossed his face, leaving him blind in his right eye. The seadweller looked immensely irritated at the meeting and was drumming his long claws on the tabletop.

A flash of white caught Gamzee's and attention and he couldn't help but be relieved as he saw Eridan settle down in one of the chairs, crossing his long legs and propping his chin in one hand. At least Eridan was here to suffer alongside him. Small mercies. As if noting his stare, Eridan's eyes met his and the seadweller smirked slightly.

By the time all the admirals had arrived the air within the room had grown heavy with tension and Gamzee remembered it was essentially a trial. He shifted, the stifled anger in the air rousing his 'voodoos and making him agitated.

Varian was the one to finally speak, standing up from his chair and addressing Gamzee directly, "Grand Highblood, if you would allow me begin?"

"Why do you have to begin?" one of the seadwellers in armour barked, furious right off the bat, "Don't hold yourself above the rest of us, we have as much right to start as you."

"I'm _asking_ permission you stupid fuck!"

"Yeah you can start," Gamzee spoke, cutting over the rising argument.

Varian shot the armoured admiral a smug look before clearing his throat and saying, "We have been called to this mandatory Admiralty Board meeting to discuss the treasonous actions that have-"

"Oh please," another admiral cut in, disgust colouring his plumy voice, "Now we're getting a fuckin' meeting if any of you stupid bastards wind up dead-"

"Screw you!" Varian snarled, any sense of professionalism flying out the window.

"Get in line!"

"Would you lot shut the fuck up?" Chiara snapped, shuffling one of her papers so hard she tore it in half causing her to snarl, "This wigglerish shit isn't helping us start- we've only go on the main address and we're already screaming like brats."

"Like you'd know," Perrin, a seadweller with cold features and wild hair spat out, the sheer level of scorn in her voice causing Gamzee's eyebrows to raise slightly before she said dismissively, "All you do is sit about and scream and cry anyway Chiara. Useless, as always. Little wonder you failed in that invasion ten sweeps back."

"You fuckin' upstart bitch-" Chiara most likely would've launched herself across the table at Perrin's smug form if Gamzee hadn't of slapped the tabletop hard with the palm of his hand. Instantly all the seadwellers froze, their violet eyes snapping to him, some wary and some enraged.

"Alright, calm the down," he snapped, "The fuck you lot even screaming about?"

"You don't know?" a slight note of scorn entered one of the admiral's voices, a stick-thin male as he arched an eyebrow, "Didn't you read the debrief?"

Gamzee shot the seadweller a look venomous enough that he recoiled in his chair, Occhio's warnings about the potential manipulations and superiority plays of the Admirals thick in his mind as he snarled, "I read that monotonous shit so watch your motherfuckin' mouth, heathen. I was asking for you fishfucks what _you_ want this meeting to be about, rather than makin' noise at each other like shrieking wigglers."

"As you say, Grand Highblood," Oriole said calmly from her seat, inclining her head gracefully, "This gathering is for us to hash out a potential...issue, that has come up within the ranks; some of us feel there is a traitor in our midst who feed information to the rebels which lead to the death of one of the admirals- Perrin is the one accused of it," she finished. Gamzee had to admit he was impressed she didn't mention she'd already told him that earlier, essentially passing a low-level test he'd set. Now he got the impression Oriole wasn't going to be stupid enough to try and shameface him in public, or attempt to one-up him. Even the colour of her thoughts were all calm and contemplative; clearly a woman who would choose to observe first before deciding anything. A smart one.

Perrim tilted her chin up, "I deny the accusations. I had no part of that moron's death."

The snarl Varian let out was absolutely feral, the spike of fury so strong Gamzee actually winced; if there was another con about being around the admirals it was that their memories and minds were deep enough the churning emotions were immensely strong. Luckily he could block that from his mind using his own psychics but he wanted to read their thoughts with his chucklevoodoos or at least their general mood. Though considering how up in arms the violets already were he'd most likely get a headache before an hour was passed.

However he recalled Priest's words and straightened up in his chair slightly; it was his duty to represent the Church to the other castes and in turn it was his duty to keep an eye on anything potential outside threats. And considering the sheer volatile air churning angrily within the room there was quite a few threats inside. When he sneaked a look at Eridan, the seadweller was playing a game on his tablet, looking as if all the screams and threats were the norm and he was determined to ignore it.

Gamzee turned his attention back to the other admirals, noting how Varian and Perrin were now shouting at one another with a few other admirals yelling however most were watching the event and he even noticed a large burly female eating some food while watching the row with avid interest as if it were a soap opera on grubtube.

"Oh like you were any real help during that invasion," Varian was saying, giving Perrin such a vicious look Gamzee was impressed she didn't burst into flames, "Instead you decided to prance off and make a complete fucking moron of yourself at the Contessa as per bloody usual-"

Perrin leapt to her feet, yelling. Before she could do anything more Oriole hurled a throwing star at her, narrowly missing the admiral's left fin membrane. Snarling, Perrin rounded on her but the seadweller with the birdmask punched the table so hard she dented the thick steel before her, making the room shake slightly. Gamzee eyed her curiously- she had a blueblood's strength.

"Sit down, Perrin," she said, voice ice cold.

The other admiral looked like she was about to yell some more but her eyes flickered over to where Gamzee was sitting and she reluctantly sat down. Oriole tucked the other throwing star back into her strife deck and the the masked admiral- _Lazuli_ , Gamzee tried to remind himself -shifted back in her chair but the large dent in the table remained.

"As I said," Perrin started again, tone forcibly polite, "I deny any accusation of being involved with Porter's death."

"Oh so it was just an _amazing coincidence_ that he died while you were the only other admiral in the quadrant, after you had encountered some rebels and then they suddenly, magically, knew where and how to-" 

"Magic," another admiral suddenly piped up and Gamzee stared at him; the admiral's eyes were far too huge for his face and his fangs were so long they jutted past his lips and a strange antenna tipped with a glowing droplet sprouted from his brow, "It's not magic," the admiral continued, voice a hoarse whisper, "Magic doesn't work like that, it will cooperate and be your friend but only if you're a friend first and treat it nicely."

Varian stared at him, as did most of the other admirals, before clearing his throat awkwardly, "As I was saying, Perrin had been the last of us admirals to interact with Porter before he died and she'd been in contact with rebels before he'd been killed."

"I was not 'in contact' with them," Perrin snapped, "I had gotten in a fight and killed three of them. I didn't hold their fuckin' hands or anything I got in a fight and killed some of them."

"But you admit you encountered the rebels?" one of the armoured admirals asked, her fins flared wide.

"Well _duh_ , I caught a rumour they were nearby and decided to investigate 'cause I had spare time!"

"How many did you meet? Can you remember them? The three you killed, did you keep their bodies?"

"Do I look like one of those shitty clowns to you?" Perrin said before she suddenly seemed to realize there was in fact a 'shitty clown' sitting in that very room.

A telling silence followed that, with many looking between Perrin and Gamzee. However Gamzee wasn't particularly offended as he knew his caste were really the only ones who hoarded dead bodies; even Koiboi kept persevered bodies in his room, telling him that Abutor had shown him a technique called 'embalming' which preserved flesh to prevent it from rotting. Gamzee didn't mind, as Koiboi took good care of his 'doll's and they didn't smell. Rather Koiboi had gotten various plants from Gratia which smelled nice and wove them in the hair on his dolls.

Getting impatient Gamzee waved a hand as the admirals continued to stay quiet, "Yeah carry on, go on."

Perrin nodded but he could see a few beads of sweat showing on her forehead, "Right uh, well the three I killed, two were Lowbloods, a shitty yellow and rust while the other was a cobalt. The cobalt managed to nick me with his fuckin' rifle when I was preoccupied with the other two- I killed them both and cut off his head and left their bodies to rot."

Chiara was scribbling furiously on her paper while Oriole was leaning forward on her elbows, watching Perrin intently. Varian just had an expression of disgust on his face as he regarded Perrin. The hate roiling in his mind was potent and Gamzee shifted his psychics slightly, letting them spill out. The impression of rage was sharp and ugly, along with the deeply embedded irritation and irritation suffusing the entire room. The admirals were, by and large, angry to be called to the meeting- either from potential treason, thinking it was a waste of time, or just angry that they were dragged from their current duties.

Gamzee glanced at Eridan but he was still playing games on his tablet and ignoring everyone else. A few others were doing the same, either reading or having a nap- though he could tell from their thoughts they were only pretending to sleep. It was tedious, he suddenly found, The bitter aggression and spiteful, nearly hateful air that made him curl his lip in distaste and he figured he should probably pay attention to all the yelling which had shifted back to a verbal fight between Varian and Perrin.

"Why would we acknowledge anything you say?" Varian was saying, "After you betrayed Porter and got him killed, you decided to fuck off- be a fuckin' backstabber elsewhere probably, the stars know I've had enough of your self-serving shit."

"Those charges were never proven and no evidence has ever came up linking me to those crimes beyond your screeching," she replied icily.

"How the fuck am I supposed to understand that shit?" Gamzee complained at Eridan during one of the intervals in the meeting half an hour later, "They just makin' lots of pissed noise at each other."

"This is why we're usually left to our own devices," Eridan grumbled, sipping at his drink.

"It's fuckin' annoying 'cause I'm stuck with it. Little wonder Condy didn't wanna come to this shit."

That was how it went for an entire day, with the hours stretching tediously long with all the fighting and yelling. It was an important issue but for many of admirals they seemed to view the whole issue as boring or they just thought Perrin should be killed to stop the issue from being dragged out. Gamzee was a bit confused at how they seemed to want to just kill a fellow admiral to stop the issue from being annoying but he had to remind himself the behaviour was greatly removed from his own caste.

However when he had to suffer through another hour of cursing and anger he'd gotten out his own tablet and complained to Koiboi about the whole situation. He probably shouldn't have told Koiboi about some treason going on but he was too irritated to care. Koiboi offered some advice as best he was able but in the end he could only advise Gamzee to follow his gut and chose whatever path he felt was the best, along with another warning to be careful around the admirals.

At least none of them seemed interested in trying anything with him thus far beyond Perrin accidentally insulting him earlier. He didn't really see it as an insult, not really, considering it was true. He and Koiboi chattered for nearly half an hour until he had to get back to work and Gamzee, still bored, sent a message to Eridan despite the admiral being at the same table as him and they started talking about random things from clothing options to marinated food.

More grumbling came from the other admirals; some looked bored, others confused and the rest murderous. Varian in particular looked like he was about to attack Perrin within a moments notice and at the current rate Gamzee probably wouldn't intervene.

"Oh so he just decided to drop dead, huh?"

"So it's my fault he was utterly incompetent and got himself killed," Perrin snorted, unimpressed.

"And no thanks to you by all accounts," Oriole threw in, eyebrow arched.

Perrin sneered at her, fins flaring wide as she spat, "So it's my fault Porter was too incompetent to deal with a few rebels and got himself stabbed in the thinkpan for it?"

"Only because _you_ told them how to find him and bypass everything, Varian snarled, claws digging into the tabletop.

With a smug smirk Perrin leaned back in her hair, crossing her arms as she said, "You've got no proof, nothing apart from baseless fucking accusations."

Another round of grumbling from the admirals. Gamzee was starting to feel vaguely nostalgic with all the bickering, screaming and swearing as it reminded him of the Game sessions. Just a bunch of wasted time while people fought and raged at each other. At least the admirals seemed to have a good reason for their complaints, however, unlike the wigglerish crap his 'friends' had whined about. Perrin certainly reminded him of the stuck-up snobbery and arrogance of the Serket's while Oriole had the strange poise that Porrim always carried. Varian was just fairly vicious, however his rage could be easily understood by Gamzee; he'd want to kill anyone who'd orchestrated Jane's death with his own hands. Well, what he did to Serket was sufficient enough.

"Oh please, I'll accept your baseless shit when I'm dead," Perrin was saying, waving a hand dismissively.

With a growl Varian drew a long falchion from his strife deck, "I can help speed you along."

"Alright, alright alright," Oriole said, grabbing onto Varian's shoulder, "Just calm down- we don't need another bloodbath."

"So _you_ say. I'm sick of this being dragged out!"

Gamzee grunted, resting back on the chair with his cheek resting against his knuckles. It was fairly entertaining to see the seadwellers scream and shriek, especially since they were second in terms of authority in the Empire, just behind the Condesce but now they were throwing tantrums. Most it was just Varian and Perrin but from what he'd heard Varian had been matesprits with the admiral Porter who was the one killed. Little wonder he was so volatile in blaming Perrin if she had a hand involved in Porter's death. 

Ignoring the fighting Gamzee's eyes slid around the board, noting the various states of the seadwellers. Lazuli was one of his favourites to watch and he wanted to ask why she'd chosen the strange bird mask to hide her face and he wanted to see her in combat as he was fairly sure she used solely her fists in a brawl. Eridan was watching the yelling with a bored expression and Gamzee took note only two other admirals had the same 'fresh face' that the Prince did- the one with the strange antennae on his brow and giant, hollow eyes and another who had large ear fins dotted with gems and fine golden chains and bells that chimed softly when she moved. He was fairly sure those three were the most recent additions to the Admiralty Board.

"Fuck this, we'll go again tomorrow," Gamzee abruptly snapped, suddenly fed up and hungry.

The argument between Perrin and Varian stopped, the two blinking at him for a few seconds. Varian opened his mouth as if to argue but Gamzee stared at him until the seadweller thought better of it. Gamzee remembered Priest's words on how he could kill them if he wanted, kill anyone to reinforce the fact the Church was to be feared because he was young and untried. Or 'unblooded' which was a slang term for a Conscripted troll who hadn't yet participated in an invasion of a fresh new alien species. Gamzee wondered when the Empire would find a new species, something Occhio kept lamenting about.

A part of him was eager for it as well- it would be a nice reprieve from running into old friends whom he no longer liked and getting attacked by rebels. Aliens were always interesting and he thought back to all the various slave species on planets, to the ones locked up in the paddocks and pens of the colossal slaver planet. 

His musings meant he ignored a few requests from some admirals who gave up and left the room. Varian sat back down in his chair, rage burning like a sullen coal, and a few others decided to stay in place as well but the majority left, no doubt eager for a break. Gamzee was just heaving himself back up to his feet when he spotted Eridan walking past towards the door, his cloak swaying behind him.

"Oi, Eri, you wanna get somethin' to eat?" Gamzee asked, mainly out of wanting someone in the flesh for him to complain to.

Eridan paused before his eyes briefly flicked to the other admirals, many of whom had stopped to watch what was going on, and he gave a shrug, "Sure."

At least the food served on an admirals ship was always top notch but Gamzee was too grumpy to really appreciate it. The food seemed to be some colossal oinkbeast the same size as Gamzee which Eridan said was slow roasted in honey and thick golden syrup. He didn't really care and just ripped off a leg and started to eat it.

"Well we're stuck here in this fucked mess until you reach a verdict," Eridan told him, sitting across from him at the elaborate table.

Gamzee swatted aside a slave who tried to clean up the spilled sauce on the tabletop, "Ain't gonna happen fast 'cause where the shit is the actual facts, fish bro? Most now is just noise shit between Perrin and Varian."

"From what I've heard those two have had a lot of issues- sweeps way back."

"Bah. Fuckin' annoying is what though. Little wonder Condy was all 'hey deal with this shit' 'cause like who would wanna?"

"Yeah...and how does C-er, how does the Empress like you spendin' time with me?" Eridan asked, raising a scarred eyebrow.

Gamzee was confused, "The fuck does she have to do with anythin' like that?"

"Nothing," Eridan shrugged, "Just figured she'd uh...Bah, never mind just forget I even said anything. It's your own business I guess."

He gave the seadweller a sharp look but he was picking at a piece of meat with delicate gold utensils, his jeweled rings clinking gently against the fork as he speared a slab of flesh. Gamzee took note of all the rings Eridan was wearing, all with gold bands but the colours went all through the hemospectrum rather than just being violet like he used to wear in the Game. There was a few amethysts in there as well, along with an emerald, topaz, lapis lazuli and three white diamonds on his thumb fingers and a oddly squashed ruby on his fourth finger next to a dragonbreath stone on his pinky. Gamzee wondered how often he cleaned his rings or if he got his XO to do it.

"Where's your boy Oyster at?" Gamzee asked.

"He's back on my ship," Eridan replied, "We couldn't really fit all of us on this ship so it's just the admirals themselves attending."

"So this ain't ya flagship?"

Eridan gave him a funny look, "No, we don't have a flagship for the admirals, we don't really interact much outside work shit. You've seen why probably, don't really want to take orders or rub up against those who don't respect you. Usually like we're surrounded by servants and underlings and all that, only person giving out orders is the Condesce." 

"Oh. Sounds annoying. How the fuck you even get anything done?"

"We're usually left alone in charge of our ships and only obey the Empress," Eridan said blandly.

Gamzee nodded along, chewing on a thick bit of fat. It was different to how the clowns functioned but while the Subjugglator fleet was large the admirals were used as extensions of the Condesce's rule but on the whole did not seem to like one another. It was such a far cry from the Church were everyone looked after one another. The hate and arrogance in that room was nearly driving him into a Rage.

"You think we're bad, huh?" Eridan grinned, showing long white teeth, "You should see the bluebloods. They just smile and act all polite even if they're dealing with someones who's death they're plotting. It's like the most quiet and secrets and just weird shit. Least we're pretty upfront when we wanna kill another."

"What happens then?" Gamzee asked, curious despite himself, "Like an admiral really wanna kill another, what do they do?"

"Usually challenge them to a fight to the death- you're supposed to ask for permission from the Condesce via filing some forms and she would give the green light for it. The whole thing between Varian and Perrin is just a fucked up mess 'cause that Porter guy was killed by rebels. Killing a fellow admiral is totally fine- letting rebels do it via treason is bullshit hence this whole meeting. But I dunno, really depends on the admiral. We're not really supposed to kill each other anyway."

* * *

Two days dragged out in the meeting and by the end of it Gamzee was noticeably angry; if he'd had the mirror he would've been aware the yellows of his scleras had turned and ugly poisonous red. He was unaware of it but the admirals weren't. The ones sitting closest to him had shifted to be on the edges of their seats, ready to spring out of the way if he became hostile.

The only real reprieve was Eridan whom Gamzee spent his spare time with. He was fairly unaware of how this blatant favourtism was effecting the Hope player, who made no comment on it despite the many stares and whispers of his fellow admirals. The older ones who remembered Kurloz knew better and made sure to keep themselves at least neutral towards Eridan and polite at best, carefully keeping themselves way from any potential fights. A favoured of the Church leader was not one to make an enemy of, especially since Gamzee was obviously approaching him and not the other way around.

The majority of conflict, when it was being spent on the admirals speculating on his relationship with Eridan which seemed to have taken more interest than the actual treasonous issue at hand, had turned into a 'He says She says' argument dragged out continuously by Varian and Perrin and the whole fights would just go around in a circle much to everyones annoyance.

Eridan told him it was essentially up to Gamzee to resolve the issue, to put a guilt or not guilty verdict on Perrin but Gamzee hadn't really understood it meant that nothing would change until he decided who was right or wrong. So he missed all the frustrated looks many of the admirals kept on giving him, especially the ones who were indifferent to the verdict and just wanted to get back to their work. Others assumed Gamzee didn't care about the admiral's internal issues while others assumed his refusal to act as stupidity or ignorance over his role as the judge jury and execution in the squabble. Either way, they still knew better than to say as much despite their distaste for him and also took pains to not think too intently over it; while Gamzee wasn't using his 'voodoos, only fools forgot the powerful psychics gifted to the purple blooded caste and fools died quickly on the board.

But regardless, Gamzee was fed up and his obvious irritation was putting them all on edge. It reached a boiling point during yet another shouting match between Perrin and Varian while Lazuli had apparently had enough. She had, until that point, remained largely silent until she stood up and, without any real warning, hurled her chair at Perrin who was in the middle of cursing. The admiral dodged quickly enough and the chair went crashing into the wall behind her and dented the thick steel.

"Shut up," Lazuli said, her voice mild. Only the heavy tendons pressing up harshly against her skin portrayed her straining anger.

"The fuck are you-"

"Shut up," Gamzee repeated Lazuli's words. 

Varian threw his hands up in exasperation, angrily saying, "Then make a verdict!"

"Oh so now you're just going to demand one?" Perrin snapped.

"Yes, because that's what he's supposed to have been deciding since we started! Instead he's done nothing!"

One of the armoured admirals were recording the meeting at that point, shooting Gamzee gleeful looks as if they thought he was going to kill Varian right then and there. He was tempted to kill everything in the room in that brief moment. 

Lazuli spoke again, her voice slow and cold, "Everything has been going in a circle for various hours with no new information offered either in defense or accusation. You have only argued repeatedly. It is enough. Grand Highblood, have you heard enough to make a decision?"

Gamzee hesitated at that, as scores of violet eyes fixed onto him. It didn't matter if every one of the admiral's sided with Varian. If Gamzee declared her innocent, they would be forced to abide by that decision. Truthfully, he missed a lot of the fighting due to being bored- not exactly the best mediator but the stale hostility angered him, reminded him too much of all the fighting back in the Meteor and all the ugly memories that brought up. True, he'd punished the one responsible for most of it and now that he thought about it Perrin held a lot of the same qualities as her.

He wanted to kill her.

But just because he wanted it doesn't mean it was the right decision.

He glanced at Eridan- oblivious as to how obscene it was, he was looking akin to seeking approval from the admiral even if in his view he was just wanting to know his friends opinion -but the Prince's face was carefully passive and the humming in his mind let no secrets Gamzee could glean with his psychics. So he shrugged and went back to staring at Varian, eyeing the seadweller and watching his blind eye. Varian said nothing, instead just tipped his chin up in a defiant manner. His lips were pressed in a hard line. Perrin looked angry, ear fins flared wide and teeth showing in a faint snarl.

"So what'd ya say?" Gamzee said, speaking to Perrin.

She growled, "I didn't do that he said- I _killed_ the rebels I encountered, it was just pure dumb luck Porter died to another pack of those fuckheads so soon and so close."

"Oh so it was a 'wild' coincidence that one of the rebels in the pack you encountered, one of the ones that fled, were in the group which killed Porter?"

"Yes," Perrin snarled.

Gamzee eyed the two admirals speculatively, inwardly brooding on the depths of their minds- unless he chose to dig deeply, their subconsciousness were too heavily saturated with memories and experiences for him to glean an intention. It was different with other castes but such longlived ones- especially violetbloods whom had a natural immunity to psychics -were a very irritating challenge. He could do it but it would take time and effort, along with the potential risk of doing mental damage to them. A risk he couldn't be bothered to do. Little wonder no one really wanted to deal with the admirals beyond themselves.

So he sighed, looking at Varian, "And you obviously getting a pretty tenacious disagree on?"

He nodded, "There is too much of a coincidence between the events- she would've been aware of Porter's location and it wouldn't have been difficult for her to guess when and where Porter was. The passwords used to access the planet-side facility Porter was in were codes known only to admirals. She encountered the rebels earlier and though she killed some others escaped and some whom escaped where reportedly in the group which killed him," Varian said flatly, "It is obvious she only killed a few to allay potential guilt, make it seem less damning."

Gamzee sighed again, seadwellers really were annoying. Gamzee had no real patience for mind games or this circle of accusation. That was something the idiot midblood girls had done and he had dealt severely with one of them already and now he suddenly wanted nothing more than to punch the two admirals.

Instead of assaulting them, however, he instead shifted in his chair and toyed with a lock of his hair as he regarded the two. 

"So, you gonna be saying you don't know how he died?" Gamzee asked, "You going on that it's bullshit, even though there's some real weird shit goin' about what did happen?"

Perrin shifted back, expression cold, "Yes. It was just a bad coincidence he died so quickly after my encounter. I had nothing to do with it."

"Oh bullshit-"

" _Quiet._ "

Varian looked like he was about to hiss at Gamzee for the interruption, lips twitching apart to show fangs. Instead of hissing, he instead spoke in a cold, unyielding voice, "You are young, Grand Highblood. It's a fact. I can't presume to believe you understand the depths of the interactions between us and the long-standing issues that cause theses problems."

Gamzee glared, "Fuck off, I know you're being petty fucks. Little wonder Condy couldn't be bothered with your shit, fucking actin' like wigglers."

Though he made no comment, Varian's expression all but screamed _What would you know?_ A glance around the room revealed many of the other admirals looking just as angry but many were blank or contemplative. Eridan had gone back to the game on his tablet. Lazuli was still standing, her chair broken over the opposite wall. Oriole was staring at Gamzee and Chiara was writing down on her many sheets of paper.

"This is stupid," Perrin snapped, "There's no proof beyond this fuckers word!"

"So he's lyin' huh?"

"Yes!" she threw her hands up in exasperation.

"It's all just a wild motherfuckin' coincidence," Gamzee droned. Eridan's eyes flicked up from the game on his tablet to Gamzee, fins twitching slightly.

" _Yes._ "

"Liar," Varian hissed. Perrin snarled at him. 

The air was stale, irritated and frustrating to Gamzee beyond measure. He felt the sharp urge to upend the table in a Rage but he remembered Eridan was still sitting there and it'd probably be rude to do it to a friend. Most of the admirals angered him so much however, the hostility or sheer indifference making him clench his teeth. He wanted it to be over and, if sensing his churning thoughts, Oriole smoothly rose from her seat and coughed loudly enough to draw everyones attention, including his own.

"Grand Highblood," Oriole said calmly, "You hold the verdict. Do you believe Varian's accusations or believe Perrin is innocent?"

Making an ugly noise, Perrin said, "Just as I said, bullshit accusations!"

"Nah," Gamzee said mildly, "I'm pretty sure you did that shit. Or are you just gonna blame everyone else? Knew a few fucks who did that and they got theirs so fuck you."

Perrin blink, fury swarming across her face, "Excuse me? You can't be fucking serious!"

Gamzee didn't really know the 'traditional' means of executing an admiral found guilty of treason; it was most likely an elaborate affair but truthfully he had had enough of the admirals and wanted to leave. So instead of calling for an execution process, he acted- using his chucklevoodoos to freeze her in place while he moved, moving with a speed that bellied his size. The admiral's between him and Perrin had already moved when he began to address her directly, so the path was clear for him to clamp a hand on the crown of her head and the other at her throat and _twist._

Perrin, caught entirely off guard by both his verdict and subsequent mental seizure, didn't have time to react before her neck was snapped.

She was dead before her body even hit the floor.

There was a fairly long silence in that, where Gamzee regarded her limp body and how it felt to feel her mind die while in the grip of his own. While it would've taken quite some time to fully shift through her mind just holding it in place via enveloping her mind in his was easy enough but feeling her die was interesting. From his spread psychics he could sense the mood was subdued almost, though a few admirals seemed relieved that the process was finally over. Chiara was even mentally lamenting on the amount of paperwork she'd have to catch up on. Varian's mind, however, was the one that reacted the most with a fierce spike of passion, ugly and dark and powerful enough it made Gamzee grimace and his own Rage pulse faintly even as he near involuntarily soaked in the sensations; his aspect was one of passion, of emotions overriding reason and that was why in that instant he knew what Varian's intent was.

He started laughing when he fully understood the lurch of emotion from Varian, when he comprehended the utterly thick spite that briefly broke free of the admiral's old mind which had hidden his true agenda from the start of the meeting.

Perrin had been innocent of the crime Gamzee had just executed her for.

Varian had set her up.

The admiral had cared for Porter, had cared for his matesprit and grieved by his death but it was as Perrin said- a terrible coincidence but Varian, who had hated Perrin for sweeps and sweeps and sweeps, saw his chance to kill her without the risk of his own body, to kill her using an inexperienced Grand Highblood and thus be ignored in the grander scheme. To kill her without risk of himself.

And Gamzee had fallen for it, let himself be aggravated by the bitterness within the Admiralty Board and the drawn out, repetitive argument. He'd been too used to the atmosphere of the Church and Varian had taken advantage of it.

_Whoops._

Probably not the best cause of action but he doubted the Condesce would care too much considering she'd told him to preside in the first place. Being an admiral was a dangerous job.

"That was quick," an admiral grumbled across the room.

"Well," Oriole said calmly, "The Grand Highblood has made his decision. That adjourns this meeting."

Gamzee made a noise of agreement, still studying Perrin's dead body. Eridan squinted at him from across the room.

"Good riddance, so much time wasted," one of the armoured seadwellers grumbled.

"Fuck all of you," another snapped before getting up and stalking out of the room without a backwards glance.

That seemed to be the queue for them to be dismissed and honestly Gamzee couldn't have cared less. A few gave him polite farewells- including Oriole and Chiara -but most were largely ignoring him. He didn't mind, but there was one in particular he wished to talk to before he escaped back to his ship.

"Oi, fishbro Varian," Gamzee called out, stopping the admiral before he could leave. 

The partially blind seadweller made his way to Gamzee, stopping a few feet away before sweeping an arm across his midriff and giving Gamzee a bow, "You called, Grand Highblood?"

He fixed the admiral with a stern glare, while Varian stared back at him with a level expression on his face; Gamzee had to give it to the admiral, he had a magnificent pokerface and even his thoughts were completely clean of his part in essentially framing Perrin and manipulating Gamzee into killing her.

"That trick you pulled was pretty fuckin' funny," Gamzee said, "Just don't make a motherfucking habit outta it, alright?"

Varian blinked, his blank expression faltering slightly. He did not, to his credit, try to deny the accusation and instead simply inclined his head slightly before asking, "Is that all?"

"Yeah now piss off."

The admiral didn't need to be told twice and soon the room was empty except from Gamzee, Eridan and Perrin's dead body. Eridan stared at him, aslight frown on his face before he gave Gamzee a pat on the shoulder and leaving.

Moment passed before Gamzee bent down and picked up Perrin's limp body; Koiboi would probably like it for one of his dolls.

* * *

After his fairly disastrous attempted mediation of an Admiralty Board meeting Gamzee had thought he wouldn't have to deal with seadwellers again for quite some time. He was a little saddened at the prospect as he liked Eridan a great deal but he felt nervous about the whole killing of Perrin. Priest told him not to worry about it, saying 'Everyone makes mistakes and regardless admirals can be replaced- there is no love lost in their ranks' but Gamzee still felt like he was about to be punished. However only three hours after he killed Perrin did the Condesce's vessel dock with the Subjugglator flagship and she boarded their vessel.

He did get told by Occhio that he'd killed Perrin wrong, however. The blind Priest had said 'You were supposed to make it more fancy, not just grab her ass and snap her neck. That was way too quick! Though it sounded as funny as fuck.' Gamzee just made a face at that but he'd been distracted from arguing by the Condesce's appearance on the walkway.

The three Priests offered greetings, with Eminor even giving the Empress a curtsy via plucking at the sides of her short skirt. Gamzee blinked and hurried gave his own welcome, rather disjointed and rushed which got him an amused look from Gratia.

The Condesce herself didn't seem bothered as she simply smiled, showing rows of sharp white teeth before she moved to his side and linked her arm through his saying, "Come w' me- I gotta surprise for you."

Gamzee gave a brief glance back to the Priestormentors before obediently moving forward as the Condesce tugged on his arm. She was pressed right up against his side, her body cold and smooth. Her hair wafted behind them like a massive tangled cloud as she led him back up the walkway so he was on her ship. He'd expected a scolding but when he told the Condesce about Perrin's death the Empress had just waved a hand and said 'eh watever ain't liked her much' and that was that.

The dismissal bothered him somewhat but Gamzee had to remind himself not everything functioned like the Church. Either way the Condesce led him through the elaborate halls of her ship down towards the engine area, talking enthusiastically the whole time as she pulled him along down to the centre, where the heart of the ship was. Or more accurately where the Helmsman was.

"Here's one of mah oldest possessions," The Condesce announced as they entered the room, her voice smug, "Got him wave back, when dat upstart mutant fucker started ship on the homeworld. And now lookit him- once some pinnacle of lowblood fuckery and now mah ship's blood pusher."

The floor was covered in nearly a foot of water, with long purple tentacles growing thicker as they approached the center of the room like a malevolent fungus. Gamzee sniffed, the cold air carrying the slight scent of salt and he wondered if that was intentional on her part as a means of nostalgia.

The Condesce released Gamzee from her glittery claws and trotted forward until she reached the Helmsman. The yellowblood was taller than the Condesce by nearly three feet even embedded in the tendrils so she had to step up onto the thick fleshy base of the Helmsman, as if the tentacles were the twisted roots of a tree. She stroked a gaunt cheekbone in a disturbingly loving and familiar gesture before carefully shifting in place, water and hair swirling around her with a brilliant grin on her face.

"Wanna sea my 'tuna?"

"Your...tuna..." Gamzee hesitantly crept forward even as the Empress's smile widened. He was fairly certain just _who_ was hanging from the ceiling, more dead than alive. Someone who'd a part of him had been moirails with for millions of sweeps, of praising his drawings and listening to excited babble and flailing limbs, at watching his failed attempts at skating and the few rare instance where he'd successfully land a trick and would beam with a maw of jagged, mismatched teeth.

Mituna. Now the Condesce's Helmsman.

A strange surge of feelings rose in Gamzee's gut as he studied the severely emancipated form held in the centre of the room, eyes following the four sharp horns partially covered in tendrils, the slightly agape mouth filled with numerous jagged and wonky teeth. At the familiar sign nearly obscured by the thick ropes of organic machinery eating his entire lower body with more of the purple tentacles enveloping his arms down to the elbows. Tentatively he reached out with his psychics, grimacing as his mind brushed against the enslaved yellowbloods; he never liked touching the minds of the husks or helmsmen as their actual minds had been replaced by brainwashed monotony of possessive script, algorithms and organic implants that altered their brainwaves to coincide with the technology infused within them that made them near brain dead.

The Helmsman's mind was no different, having a lack of personal desires, thoughts or even emotions. His conscious mind as an individual had been worn down by sweeps of programmed behaviour which had reduced his mental state to a machine. It reminded him of the mind of the Overseer, just a lack of passion and self will. Enslaved to orders, program prompts. While Mituna's mind as Kurloz knew it had been broken he had still been a person but the Helmsman had been robbed of that. Then Gamzee made the mistake of trying to carefully use his aspect, seeing if anything would snag onto the sensation of Rage in passion.

It happened in the barest of flickers, so quick and fleeting the Bard nearly missed it; he briefly sensed a flash of something underneath all the pulsating code and twisted script, a mind trapped beneath the warped technology, trapped and absolutely despairing.

Flinching Gamzee yanked his psychics free even as the Helmsman shuddered in his place strung up among the organic tendrils of machinery. A few streaks of yellow ran down the Helmsman's sunken cheekbones and dripped onto the wet floor. Disturbed and more than a little nauseous, Gamzee looked at the Condesce who smiled at him as if she'd given him a special treat.

Fumbling for words, he managed to say, "Uh, this is real nice and all but why you- why you wanna show me your engine?"

She laughed, swatting him playfully on the arm, "'Cause you were all supah despondent and ship! Don't you worry buoy ol' Kurloz didn't much like the fish bowl either and figured you seain' mah 'tuna would cheer you right up! Gotta look after mah clown fish."

He wasn't hers and wanted to say as much but seeing Mituna greatly disturbed him. Gamzee held no real passion on the Doom player but he'd known him for so long as Kurloz so it agitated him; the whole day had really, and he wanted to go sleep in his 'coo for a week. That or find Hestia or Koiboi or Priest or someone who he could talk with and relax but the Condesce took note of his continued gloomy mood, despite her 'gift', and took it upon herself to try cheering him up.

That was how he ended up in one of the Condesce's private rooms, swamped in thick rolls of fabric that felt like custard and with the Empress half sitting on his lap and telling him about 'what a ship sweep I've had th' fuck'. He wanted to shove her away but when she scooted around to his side and started brushing his hair he lost track of his budding outrage, the soothing, tugging sensation of the hairbrush the Condesce wielded. Gamzee was fairly sure it was a hairbrush she'd used for the deceased Kurloz as she had to use it two handed and it was the size of one of his smaller clubs. The purple gems and handle made of bone made it fairly blatant on that front.

"Sea? Ain't so bad. I ain't worried 'boat that admiral ship if that's what got ya worried, them fucks die and watever. No reel skim off my surf," the Condesce cooed, misunderstanding his tension, "Figured ya been fuckin' pressed w' all the ship goin' on. Told ya Imma take care of you."

"Well um, the Church usually do that," Gamzee grumbled. The two assurances from Condy and Priest meant he'd largely chosen to ignore killing Perrin for a crime she hadn't committed- though he'd certainly be more careful dealing with the admirals in the future -but Mituna had rattled him badly, especially considering how the Condesce had acted as if it were a treat. He'd expected something from Kurloz at least, as he'd gotten so active when punishing Serket, yet Gamzee was largely unable to differentiate between himself and the Prince at the moment as Kurloz had no strong opinions either way. Seemed he'd only awoken to punish someone who slighted their Messiahs. but, as he did with Leijon, he was indifferent to the suffering from his past quadrants. It was a far cry from Gamzee, who'd attacked Serket for crimes she'd committed both against him, his Messiahs _and_ Jane while Kurloz had savaged the Light player for crimes against their Lord and that was that. 

The Condesce getting the brush caught on a tangle in Gamzee's long hair made him hiss. She let out a soft _shoosh_ as she worked on the knot before managing to brush it out. He didn't like her shooshing him but couldn't really shove her away without being rude. Thankfully she'd made quick work of his hair- she no doubt had amble practice on her own -and brushed it out as best she was able. When she was done she wiggled about until she was sprawled across his lap, head resting on a plump cushion by his side. She grinned up at him and Gamzee, unsure of what to do, smiled back.

"Sea? Ain't a worry."

"Eh, you fish get pretty pissed," Gamzee said.

She waved a hand, uncaring, "What can ya do. But you done good anywaves, they need a fork up now and again. Though," here her eyes narrowed, "They gets all up and snark sometimes and Kurloz had to give them a beatin'. But from what I got told you already liked one enough even if the shoal pissed ya right off."

"You mean Eridan?"

"Yea, that Eri buoy," The Condesce's pink lips twisted down slightly, "Ain't as fuck dumb as his Ancestor Imma give him that, tho' from what I hear you been spendin' a lotta time with that fish, he a quad for ya?"

A nasty tone was in the Empress's voice and Gamzee got the disturbing impression that if he didn't watch his words then Eridan would wind up dead somewhere down the line. He really didn't want that, he had very few Game friends that he liked anymore.

"Eri is an old bro," Gamzee said carefully, "Like someone who gets the jokes, ya know? Figured it's kinda better since I ain't recognizing the faces of the other fish in there. Better to have a joke rather than killing all your admirals." 

"So he ain't a ship to sail?" the Condesce arched a pieced eyebrow, though the hard lines in her face had eased somewhat.

Gamzee snorted at that, saying truthfully, "I like 'im but he ain't uh quadrant material for me. Anyway, pretty sure he already has some and I'm busy with Church shit so not bothered with getting my quadrants on beyond my clown bros and sis and sibs right now."

He _did_ like Eridan but Gamzee wasn't interested in quadrants beyond a Diamond and his fellow clowns filled that up sufficiently. The Condesce was overstepping her bounds in involving herself but Gamzee had always been fairly poor in 'quadrant etiquette' mindset so he just figured she felt entitled due to being Empress and Meenah; which was the truth anyway. Gamzee just decided to shrug it off and Eridan could look after himself. 

The conversation shifted from that- with a mollified Condesce leading it -and dissolved into small talk. He learned about how the Condesce got into baking from a young age and she even told him she used to have her hair in two braids until over a dozen sweeps into her Empress role to which she swapped to long and wild at the urging of her Kurloz. That had lead to the Empress ranting about how she'd seeing the pictures taken of Feferi who wore her hair in dozens of micro braids on the rare times spies caught sight of the Heiress. 

In the Condesce's words Feferi was a 'Stupid lil' beach with no originality'. Gamzee wasn't sure if it counted as 'stealing' if Feferi was technically part Meenah.

He did find learning about Kurloz through the Condesce fascinating as she still spoke of him with great affection. She even showed him the room on her ship which had been Kurloz's and he noted the skull pile in the corner which eerily mirrored the one in his own room- he'd mainly started a pile made of skulls on Koiboi's suggestion to decorate his rooms and Gamzee found the work of polishing the skulls and rubbing down the sharpened horn points soothing to do in his spare time. The skulls in Kurloz's old room had noticeable teeth and claw marks in the bone and the Condesce told him they were all skulls from the Kurloz's own kills.

"He killed a lot of fuckas who all had it comin',' the Condesce said, going to one of the massive cabinets on the other side of the room, "But this was his fave to use lika worry stone I'm think'." she pulled a skull, far smaller than the rest, from inside the cabinet and blew off some lingering dust along the cranium.

Though a bit bemused he accepted the skull nonetheless when she handed it over to him and he was able to fit it in one hand. The blunted teeth, small rounded horns- the skull belonged to a Vantas.

"That Signless buoy, fuckin' dumb ship. Screamed funny as fuck when he keel hauled, though," the Condesce snorted.

He squinted at the little stubby horns, slowly rolling the small skull around both hands before saying, "Ain't he died from an arrow in the gut?"

"Yeah but after _long_ waves of squirmin'. Stupid redblooded fuck," the Condesce grumbled, giving the skull an ugly look.

"Huh." he cradled Kankri's skull between his fingers, long claws catching on the hairline cracks in the bone, "Heard about them, those first bunch of rebels or whatever. You got the uh 'Tuna' and the...Signless, weren't there like four? From what Priest tells it."

The Condesce hummed thoughtfully, tapping a sparkly nail on her bottom lip, "Whale, there was that dumbfuck green beach who ran off and died somewhere like the useless motha fuck she was and then the Rainbow Drinker who got her ass clapped in chains and sold. Ha! That last one was fuckin' funny."

"So she was a slave like Candeo? Or guess she really ain't one now."

The Empress gave him a confused look and he elaborated with, "Ya know, on Eureka's show with that quadrant brawling? Glow skin sis missin' an arm and all."

"Ah her! She all good, knows her glubbin' place in alla this. Like that show of Eureka's, good ship."

Gamzee hummed, pulling at the jawbone of the Signless' skull and making the blunt teeth clack against each other. It really was a small skull and most likely meant that even a full grown Karkat would be fairly diminutive as an adult. Then the Condesce moved, grabbing the Signless' skull and chucking it back into the cabinet with a loud banging noise. She didn't seem too worried about breaking it.

"So uh, you keep all the rebel skulls?" Gamzee asked, squinting at the cabinet, "Or like just the real annoying motherfuckers?"

"There was another fuck, some Summoner who was the one who krilled mah buoy," the Condesce's face twisted up into an ugly grimace, "But his skull and horns were all smashed ta shit by mah clownie along with that stupid-ship dragon so I don't have that fuckas head."

"I heard 'bout that, Priest said it ain't an easy thing killing a fully adult dragon."

"Yeah, krilled off alla dragons I could find and told everyone to fuck off that shithole planet," she said, giving an ugly look at the cabinet she'd tossed the skull in, "Those stupid motha fucks find it harder ta plan that ship though when I get my claws on that shitty Heiress she's gon learn even being an ol' beach ain't gonna help her none."

Gamzee decided not to comment that the Condesce was, technically, far older than Feferi but instead he just fell silent as she continued to rant, nodding and making small noises of agreement at appropriate intervals. The Condesce didn't seem to notice and complained about the rebellion, her Heiress and her soufflé which had flopped earlier. At least she didn't mind the one sided conversation as Gamzee was still too bemused by seeing Mituna and Kankri to think overly on her current complaining. At least he got to eat, though as it was a seadweller ship the food was mostly various seafoods and aquatic animals. He didn't mind the marinated eels though.

When he finally got called back to the Subjugglator vessel the Condesce escorted him back, telling him about a good flan recipe she'd made using syrup tasted with her blood. She was still clinging tightly to his side and her hand was rubbing along the back of his one in what she probably though was a comforting gesture.

The urge to shove her off returned and though he knew the Condesce was a heathen he knew there would be fairly violent responses to him shunning the Empress badly; his discomfort was not more important than the lives of his fellow clowns, so instead Gamzee bent down and allowed the Condesce to kiss him. He titled his head to the side so she could only kiss his cheek than his lips which she had been aiming for, but she didn't seem too bothered.

Priest just stared before offering him a napkin to clean his face when he got back on board.

* * *

The next mission Gamzee was sent on was reconnaissance, more or less. According to Eminor there'd been reports of more rebel activity- or rumours, more or less, so he was sent down to the planet with a promise to call for back up if he actually encountered any problems. Gamzee privately thought the reason he was sent down was that Eminor had caught how uncomfortable and out of sorts ever since he came back from meeting the Helmsman. However he was grateful enough to be alone with his thoughts he didn't protest and within the hour he'd landed on the plant via a shuttle. It was arid and dry, with massive dried up plains of cracked dirt, small desert plants and the massive remains of a ruin nearby. Apparently that had reportedly been the place for a rebel meeting and internally Gamzee thought this _would_ be a place Karkat would like. The air was dry and the the sun was hot; it reminded Gamzee of all those sweeps ago when he visited Karkat's land, with the warm haze and heat of lava.

Blowing a strand of hair from his eyes Gamzee rolled his shoulders, the pauldrons flexing, before ambling over towards the broken ruin. It appeared alien in structure, with heavy slabs of rock carved with delicate symbols that made no sense for him and with a doorway that was over twenty feet high despite some of it being submerged in the sand. Even the architect itself was strangely made, with sharp angles and jutting sides. Carefully he traced the doorway with a long claw, slowly following one of the patterns carved into the dark brown rock. It looked like some dragonesque creature with feathered wings holding a sphere in its mouth but he wasn't sure. Alien art tended to confuse him at times.

Pushing that to the back of his mind Gamzee entered the dilapidated ruin, foot steps tentative and careful as he sniffed deeply. Ever since his run in with the Nocturne so many sweeps ago he was wary of old buildings like these, since they would house the unknown. However this building seemed to only be the entrance and the larger room- the hallways inside had been collapsed. However despite that Gamzee could tell someone had been inside the ruin recently as the rock floor was covered in scratches that were fresh, at least within the week.

There was also whiff of _something_ that nagged at his memory, something sweet and familiar that he couldn't quite place. It frustrated him, unable to pinpoint what it was and he wandered across the room, pulling in thick lungfuls of air as he tried to figure out the smell. Eventually his frustrated pacing led him to the back wall, in between the two caved in hallways.

The wall had been carved with the image of a strange alien wearing a tattered robe, surrounded by stylized tentacles like a horrorterror. While most of the alien's lithe frame had been carved into the dark stone, two white gems had been fitted where the eyes would've been. Underneath the angled carving were the words _'writhe like a flagellum and seek righteous vengeance'_. Gamzee traced the image with a clawtip, lips pressed into a flat line.

Before he could think on the imagine further a fluttering noise snagged his attention and suddenly the smell of sugary sweetness filled his nostrils and a warm voice said, "Konnichiwa, Gamzee."

It took a moment for the words to register and when it did slowly, very slowly, Gamzee turned his head to the side with his purple eyes wide. There, hovering a few feet away from him was Aradia.

She had changed so much since he saw her so long ago on the Alternian beaches; now she was an adult just like him with pitch black skin and long lashed eyes filled in with her blood colour. Her horns, once small curves, were now thick spirals. Her hair reminded him of Damara's, most of it tied back in large bun and her bangs were looped backwards and attached to the underside. The rest of her long hair tumbled down her back, framed by two crimson wings which fluttered in a ruddy blur, keeping her aloft. The black shirt she was wearing was emblazoned with her symbol and the collar and sleeves were edged in rust. Her pants were reminiscent of her Maid uniform; red with thick white banding down the shins ending in black shoes edge in red. A crimson gear, the symbol of Time, was attached to a choker around her throat.

Looking at Aradia, seeing the grin curve up her painted lips and so achingly alive filled Gamzee was a almost overwhelming sense of gladness. He knew she was a rebel, with the ones he'd be charged with hunting down and eradicating, but in that moment all he felt was such happiness at seeing his old friend. A smile broke over Gamzee's face and automatically he moved towards, arms coming up to embrace her before all the rhetoric and responsibilities of his standing surged forth within his mind. He froze in place, suddenly uncertain and apprehensive but before he could withdraw away Aradia surged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and yanking him close.

Instantly Gamzee hugged her back, a hand resting at the base of her neck and the other holding her hip. The side of their horns clacked against each other and Aradia's lipstick smudged onto the black skin of his neck. For a long moment the two just held each other, Gamzee savouring Aradia's smell and softness, before the wings on the rustblood's back began to flutter and Gamzee reluctantly released her but he kept ahold of her forearms and Aradia returned the gesture, still smiling at him.

"It's so wonderful to see you again," Aradia finally said after a long moment of gazing at him, her eyes slowly traveling up and down his body, "You've grown right up, you're a utsukushī monsutā now."

He smiled back, "You too. Real glad you kept your pretty as fuck spun-sugar glitter wings. You sure as shit deserved them after all that."

She laughed, so bright and happy, "I know! I was pretty worried going through my molt, thinking I might loose them but nah, I kept them! Thank fuck as well, I went through so much to get them. I deserve them."

Carefully Aradia floated backwards, her wings a crimson blur, until she was holding Gamzee's hands, linking her fingers through his. Though his hands were larger than hers, Aradia still held him in a firm grip, palms broad and speckled with callous while her claws were long and sharp. She was so beautiful and he never realized how badly he'd missed her until now. He'd always liked Aradia and he remembered her kind words even parting with another on Alternia, on how she'd wished him luck.

"So, how've you been?" he finally said, after a long minute of the two just gazing at each other.

"Great! Well I mean all this hiding is a pain in the ass, especially since the Empire is so fucking huge so there is a lot of sneaking. Especially since me and Tavros can't hide these," Aradia glanced back at her wings before facing him again with a smile.

Gamzee blinked, "Wait, you mean all those wind whispers about him getting flutterfly wings aren't shit? I thought they meant you."

Her smile grew wider, showing rows of sharp white teeth and dimples, "Yes! He and I are the first trolls within hundreds of sweeps to have wings!"

"Aw shit, that's great! He fuckin' love that pupa pan shit so motherfucking much and he all outta everyone should've gotten to fly with 'em just like his shithead Ancestor. Hey, you be sure to tell em that, okay?" Gamzee's smile faded slightly, "I know I ain't wanted there but that don't mean I can't like..I dunno, say through you?"

Aradia's face softened, her grin loosing it's maniac edge and becoming something all together more sweet, "Of course you can. Tavros always regretted not meeting up with you on Alternia. He was ashamed or some dumbfuck thing. You know how he gets around being social."

"You still good with him?"

"Yeah, we're moirails now."

"Oh really? How that shit fly?"

"It's been great actually! Sometimes it's nice to just be around someone who isn't so intense about everything, you know? And if anyone else complained, well they can fuck right off. I deserve happiness," a dangerous edge entered Aradia's voice, even as her claws dug into the skin of his hands.

"Yeah fuck them. I got enough shit being new Grand Highblood," Gamzee shrugged before pausing, lips pursed slightly, "Though a couple had a point, so young I ain't know shit with I'm doing."

Aradia tilted her head to the side, great spiral horns bracketing her, "We were in Sgrub not knowing what to do when we were even younger, yet we lived through all that all. I think we can survive anything after that."

It was getting nosy but Gamzee couldn't help but ask, "So ain't anyone dead?"

"No, they're all alive," Aradia made a face, "Well except Nepeta, she got fucked up pretty bad."

"Oh yeah, kinda heard about that...ain't good."

Exhaling heavily, Aradia leaned back slightly, "Gotta hand it to the Overseer, that blue punches _hard_."

"I met him once, like normal shit," Gamzee said, "He was an intense motherfucker. Ain't no emotion rolling in that thinksponge, reminded me kinda of you back when you were all ornery metal fuck."

"Really?"

"Yeah, kind scary actually," he frowned, still remembering the cold nature of the Overseer and the head slaver's absolutely emotionless mind. It still creeped him out.

Aradia carefully loosened her grip on his left hand before reaching up and lightly touching the row of miniature fins growing on the underside of his pointed ear, "These are rather cute, aren't they? I wouldn't mind a pair, always liked fins. Purple goes good with them too. Watashi wa sakana ga daisukidesu."

Gamzee had no idea what that last part was about and a part of him was amused Aradia kept Damara's habit of occasionally talking in that foreign, ancient troll language, long dead in this new universe, "Ain't do shit but yeah, they're kinda pretty," Gamzee grinned, "But I think you all but beaten me, what with those miracle wings you gotta keep."

"Hey, I got lucky. But anyway, what're you doing here?"

"Supposed to be looking for rebels. Or something. I dunno, guess Eminor noticed how fucked up I kinda was? Still ain't that used to being on ships all the time, you know. Sometimes you gotta be alone and shit. Not stuffed in there with loads of other fucks, especially 'cause they're always like 'oh whats wrong talk to me', you know? I mean they uh, mean well but it's kinda smothering sometimes. Not to mention seeing that Helmsman fucked me up kinda."

"So some R and R?"

"What?"

"Rest and relaxation," Aradia laughed, dimples showing.

"Oh, I guess?" Gamzee was unsure if he should ask about how she was doing; she was so friendly however and he got the weird impression she'd keep anything incriminating from him to herself but he couldn't help but ask, "So you ain't know where the others at? Ain't caring asking, 'cause you gonna tell your bros where I'm at anyway."

She raised an eyebrow but despite the mock offense etched on her face, her rust coloured eyes were sparkling, "Fishing, are we? Actually, guess it kinda fits 'cause Feferi and glub glub glub but you've still got Eridan."

"Eridan's great, he's an admiral now," Gamzee said.

Aradia's smile returned, wide and sweet, "Yeah, it's nice to see he's achieved that. Same with you. Grand Highblood, huh? That a busy job?"

"Well I guess it's-"

A sudden shocked exclamation from the doorway interrupted them, both of the trolls turning to look at the new comer standing in the ancient doorway with an expression of horror on his narrow face. A familiar troll, who bore an uncanny resemblance to the one Gamzee had seen trapped within the Condesce's ship, with four horns and sparkling red and blue eyes.

He briefly heard Aradia shouting, _"Sollux, fuck off!"_ before he had to dodge to the side to avoid being seared by psionics, letting go of Aradia's hand as he did so. Even then the stench of burnt hair filled the air and Gamzee snarled, baring his teeth at the lankly yellowblood while Aradia swooped upwards, her wings sending sparkling red motes everywhere as she got out of the way.

The next few seconds were a confused blur, mixed with Aradia's furious cursing in Damara's dialect though by the end of it the two Lowbloods had escaped, Gamzee's hair was burnt and he'd nearly caught Sollux but missed and ended up with his shoe clenched in his long claws. 

When he was outside the ruins- which had gotten even more damaged due to Sollux's spontaneous psychic attack -he could see the two vanishing in the distance along with fading angry yelling from Aradia who looked like she was trying to hit Sollux. When she was nearly an indistinguishable blur of red she paused midair and Gamzee squinted at the sudden movement she was making until he realized she was waving at him. He returned the gesture and when Sollux tried to tug on her arm she hit him and started chasing him off into the sky.

He stared after the two as they vanished into the horizon before shrugging and tossing the mauled shoe off to the side.

Could've gone worse.

* * *

"Why the rebels acting up?" he asked Gratia later, "Like can't even look at shit without running into one."

"It's most likely the Heiress and Signless Descendant causing all the ruckus lately," Gratia said, frowning slightly.

"It's annoying."

"Hm. Well, we do what we must and the admirals aren't blind either. But just remember they are still immensely small in numbers, those rebels, even if there has been a spike in numbers and trolls killed for treason. A few have even been sent to Re-Education because they haven't watched their attitudes. It happens from time to time."

"Eh I guess. Though can't next time be on a mother fuckin' planet that has good food?"

"Well I have heard something in the universe a quadrant over even if there's already an admiral sniffing about there. Or read something I should say. Being deaf makes you fairly hard of hearing."

* * *

"Hey, wanna go huntin'?"

Gamzee blinked, looking at an expectant Eridan standing only a few feet away. He'd been in the middle of stuffing a large fish-like animal in his mouth while in a restaurant on a troll controlled planet trading post and nearly choked on it at the sudden address. Instead of choking however he paused and carefully swallowed down the bony animal before saying, "What?"

Eridan rolled his eyes, "You know there's a bunch of rebels runnin' about here, right? Figured you'll wanna fight them or some shit. Heard it from Oyster, is why I'm down here. Also those ships make me feel like I'm gonna have an aneurysm sometimes."

"Uh, okay? What, when did you get here? The fuck."

The admiral looked bemused, "Shouldn't you have been told? Oyster heard a clown ran into one like...half an hour ago or some shit, out on the plains. Since I keep on gettin' snide shit on working with you I figured we could just say fuck 'em and do it first. Better than sitting on my ass on my ship which is boring and anyway I saw your ship up in orbit so got some directions from that cranky blind Priest or whoever the fuck is that one who cussed me out on where you were. Two sets of eyes are better than one, ya know?"

"Huh..." Gamzee paused and then pulled out a tablet, sending a quick message to Gratia who was online. As they sent messages back and forth Eridan stole the last fish on Gamzee's plate and ripped it in half, chewing on the head as he waited on Gamzee. After a few minutes, Gamzee tucked the tablet back into his sylladex.

"Well you were right, some fuck attacked a sis called Aztera but she was trackin' 'em down and wanted to figure out what was what before sending out a help ask. Gratia send a bit to her, seeing it she was all done 'cause she just got attacked a while back but ain't too stressed right now. But hey, she's totally keen if we wanna amble over and say hi," Gamzee said, "Otherwise she was gonna do some scoutin' and then report back but hey if we wanna fight just gotta go get a see on."

"Great, let's go. This market stinks and I want to shoot someone," Eridan snapped.

That was how the two ended up taking a trip to the large badlands area a few hours from the trading post, mainly due to Eridan commandeering a random shuttle and driving it. Gamzee ended up hunched over uncomfortably in the back, having to huddle down with his knees against his chest from how tall he was. Eridan didn't fare much better, his limbs long enough he cursed often from knocking into things or smacking his elbows.

"Urgh, are we there yet?"

"For fucks sake, nearly! We have to walk a bit after we stop, don't wanna give those rebels a heads up, you know?" Eridan snapped back, pissed.

True to his words Eridan stopped the shuttle behind a cluster of rocks and shrubs before the duo had to walk the rest of the way to meet up with the troll who'd apparently been fighting with the rebel group recently. Gamzee didn't mind the walk, as his back and neck ached from being bent over in the tiny shuttle. He rolled his shoulders, rubbing at the thick muscle as he walked next to Eridan who glared around the cracked earth as if it personally offended him.

"It's shit hunting during the day," Eridan complained, long legs keeping up with Gamzee's strides, "The sun feels like it's gonna burn my fuckin' eyes out."

"Just ignore it, fish bro."

"Just ignore the sun. Great advice, thanks."

They walked past various cacti and shrubbery, most animals being small lizards and birds that scurried off at their approach. Otherwise the landscape was miles of dusty, cracked ground and the occasional sandy dune towering up towards the clear sky. If he looked over his shoulder, he could see the speck of the trading post they'd come from- that or it was a mirage. Still, the heat was annoying as his body core was naturally cold and the temperature made the ground hot and air dry. Eridan, being a seadweller, seemed even more fed up as he'd clamped his neck gills shut tight and his face was twisted up into a pissed off squint. As if noticing his stare Eridan's violet eyes flicked over to his purple ones and Gamzee grinned at him. 

The membrane of Eridan's fins flushed a brighter violet before he elbowed Gamzee in the side, "Quit grinnin' you big loser."

"Why? Can't I be happy chillin' with an old bro?"

"Whatever, you told me you met other Game players."

"Nah, don't care much about 'em, you're a fish bro."

"Hug me again and I'll stab you in the eye with my wand."

"You should give a gank at my ears, apparently it hurts a fucker more."

"I'll tell Oyster to make a note when I get back to the ship and off this shit rock."

Their conversation remained upbeat- at least on Gamzee's end, he was happy he'd been able to gain his friendship back with Eridan. His encounters with Equius and Terezi had all been a horrid let down in all honesty. The encounter with Aradia and Eridan had been the most positive encounter with all of them, never mind that Aradia was a rebel. She'd greeted him with happiness and on Eridan's part they'd been allies. He hoped to keep Eridan, as he hadn't been allowed to keep Aradia.

His musings were cut off when Eridan made a faint clicking noise and pointed ringed hand towards a small figure off in the distance, a dark smudge against the tan and white of the badlands, "Guess that's your gal," he said.

Gamzee made a noise of agreement, quickening his pace even as he peered around curiously; there were scorch marks and torn up earth on the plains ahead, along with what looked like a building mostly torn to pieces. He made a bemused noise, wondering what kind of fight there'd been but from what Gratia told him Aztera would be able to tell him more due to being the sole eyewitness- the midbloods working at the weather station had been killed in an attack of some kind.

The other Subjugglator was sitting on a large boulder, a long-handled club resting across her knees. She perked up when she saw Gamzee's approach, though not without a confused glance at Eridan, before jumping to her feet and moving quickly towards them. She was dressed sparsely, which was favourable considering the heat of the planet, with spotted boxers and sleeveless crop top inscribed with the curling lines of her symbol. She was barefoot like himself, but wasn't bothered by the heated desert ground as she trotted up to them.

"You Aztera?" Gamzee asked, peering at her curiously.

She grinned, smile morphing her facepaint which was in the shape akin to a butterfly, "Yup, that's me! And I totally know who _you_ are." She titled her head to the side, still smiling brightly. It took Gamzee a few seconds to realize she was a seadweller, having finned ears with thick squishy webbing dangling down towards her shoulders and gill slits on her exposed sides and throat. Her hair was dense and wavy, hanging down to her waist.

"Good sis, good- Ananke told me you got all a squabble on with them rebels here or some shit? First you wanna get a ganderbulb on but then figured you'd give 'em an ass kicking with a hand?"

She nodded, twirling her club around and making the multi-coloured ribbons on it turn into colourful blurs, "I'm like, not usually doing this kinda stuff but _really_ this rust has been a complete killjoy so like I figured I could call in help, you know? Especially if you just offered it over. Didn't figure it'd be the Grand Highblood but it's so good to meet you personally! I was there at your coronation."

"I'm here to help all the bros and sis and sibs of the Church. So who's been fuckin' shit up here?"

"Some complete _wacko_ called the Warspite or something," Aztera said, tugging at one of the webbing of her ears, "What is with these Sufferists? They're so tacky and totally ruined my paint! I was getting it finished up in the weather station when everyone started dying and then the whole thing went flying. Nearly look my head off!"

"Warspite," Gamzee paused, glancing around at the massive gouges in the earth, "Figure they're a psychic huh? 'Cause they're a rust and all. Any mutations, sis?"

"None that I could see, but I was mainly in the building when it started doing acrobatics," Aztera said, "When I managed to get out through one of the windows I saw them strangling one of the teals and then hurled the other one off. They were yelling some nonsense while doing it, couldn't make heads or tails of it."

Eridan stepped forward, a frown on his face, "Where is this Warspite? Have any idea of their current location?" 

Aztera didn't seem bothered by Eridan's rude behaviour, "Oh they're over that way," she said, pointing off up towards the dunes, "They showed up and trashed this place before flying away while I was crawling out the window. So yeah, they're a rustblood, _lots_ of psychics and throwing stuff around. Even worse with those rantings, bringing up their false messiah," Aztera made a disproving noise, lips twisting down.

"Alright, well lets go kick the shit out of them so we can get back on the ship," Eridan said, stalking off into the direction of the dunes. 

Gamzee made a face but fell in step next to Aztera, who smiled at him. The trio made their way up the dune, a horrible sandy experience that made Gamzee cough before they reached the top and saw the massive wreckage down below; it was an oasis but the surrounding structures were smashed to pieces and trees torn from their roots. Dozens of bodies- many dismembered -were scattered about the wreckage. 

"The fuck happened here?" Eridan scowled, making his way carefully down the dune towards the ruin.

Aztera sighed gloomily, "I don't know, it was totally random."

"Why were you even here?" he snapped over his shoulder.

"I told you, paint!"

"Oh, you workin' under Lovely?" Gamzee asked.

"Yup, he's so sweet. I was trying different means of storing and preserving blood- it's why I was out here in the desert, testing some new methods of keeping blood liquid and fresh even in such hot weather."

"Any luck?"

Another sigh, "I was getting there! Then this Warspite showed up and ruined the whole town and I was at the weather station getting some fresh blood from the teals there when the rustblood showed up and like, threw a tantrum. All my samples ruined! I'll have to start over."

"Sure Lovely won't mind," Gamzee assured her, "Especially if you just tell 'im what happened. I'll totally vouch if ya want."

"If you two are done?" Eridan ground out irritably, glaring at them from the bottom of the dune with his arms crossed. His black skin stood stark against the white of his admiral uniform and the desaturated colours of the plains. 

"Your friend is grumpy," Aztera said in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Yeah, he's an acquired taste. Like them sour candies."

Aztera grinned.

They scouted around the oasis but everything was in various states of chaos. Aztera lamented on her paints when she found the hut she'd been keeping them in torn to sheds, the blood splattered across the plain or lost in a cracked open crevice. She dolefully picked up shards of glass, fins turned down and lips pouted. Eridan gave her an annoyed look but otherwise didn't scold her as he prowled around the sandy lip of the oasis. A few severed limbs drifted about in the spring water before the seadweller plucked them out and tossed them onto the sand in disgust. 

Gamzee sniffed, trying to pick up anything but it seemed whoever the Warspite was had moved on. He kicked the dead body of a teal, noting how it seemed she'd been crushed to death- shards of her squashed ribs jutted out of her chest and their was an ugly squishyness to her head, as if the only thing keep the crushed bones of her skull inside was the intact skin of her head. Her horns were in pieces around her, however, like pancake rocks. He wondered how much force had to be behind the psychics used to squeeze something to death like the teal's fate, wondered if it felt like a gigantic hand crushing the body or if it was instantaneous.

That line of thought was interrupted by Aztera's shriek, "Look, there they are! There there!"

Quickly her jerked upright, looking around until he spotted Aztera pointing up to the sky. In a blur of black and red a shape hurled towards the ground, causing Aztera to somersault backwards to avoid being crushed as the Lowblood struck the earth with enough force to make it shake. Gamzee eyed the newcomer with interest, knowing the force had been from a controlled explosion of telekinesis, the same psychic force that prevented the rust from taking damage from the impact. 

Aztera landed gracefully to a halt a few feet back, the ribbons on her club snapping in the wind. Eridan watched from near the oasis- in his current position the spring was between him and the Warspite, but due to him being ranged fighter Gamzee doubted it'd be much of a problem. He and Aztera were close combat, however, so if the Warspite chose to engage them at close combat Eridan wouldn't be able to shoot them without risk of killing either of them- Gamzee wasn't too sure if he could take a full blast from Eridan's wand or pistol, and the seadweller wasn't so stupid as to think he could kill him or Aztera without grievous consequence.

For a moment the only sound was the cracking of the ground and the ebbing rumble of the ground before the figure within the dust cloud straightened up and Gamzee could see them clearly.

The Warspite was tall and plump, with a round face which didn't match the strange fanatical expression etched into it, an expression that only grew more distorted when they spotted the trio. They were angled upwards, balanced on their tiptoes. With a shimmer of air they rose from the crater, their hair done up in dozens of thin braids that were easily over three meters long and twisting around them like living snakes from the rustblood's psychics as they ascended. There was something odd about their horns and Gamzee squinted at the short stumps of yellow as the three circled the Warspite and when he figured out what the strangeness was he grimaced; the Warspite's horns had been ground down until they were a disturbing mimicry of Karkat's, of the Signless' horns.

"So you're the one being a fuckin' pain in the ass," Eridan spoke, walking in slow, measured steps around the spring. His boots made not a sound as he moved, tattered cape billowing behind him like a broken bird's wings.

The Warspite didn't even bother to reply to the admiral, movements in the air slow and languid as they moved backwards. Their rusty red eyes were fixed on Gamzee, staring at the jagged facepaint of the Grand Highblood before sliding down to the symbol decorating one side of his shirt and making them hiss.

Aztera growled defensively off to the side, finned ears flared wide and angry. He felt her chucklevoodoos press against his own, asking a voiceless question and he silently bade her to stay in place. Aztera hummed from her spot, but the muscles in her legs relaxed slightly even her fingers remained clenched tight around the ribboned handled of her club.

"So you that motherfucker of a Warspite I've been hearin' 'bout?" Gamzee asked.

A hiss came from the rustblood, their long braids twisting around behind them, "Yes, I invoke the plea for the end of this war between us, the spite of the carnage and death from the hemospectrum, all invoked in the same of He."

"Killin' fuckers seem a sure as shit stupid way to want peace," Gamzee pointed out.

The Warspite sneered, plump lips twisting down in an ugly expression as they shot Gamzee a venomous look, "Shut up, liar. You dare to follow false idols then have the gall- nay, the _audacity_ to lecture me? How dare you?" The Warspite's voice ended on a scream. 

"Oh shit up," Eridan cut in, "Just say you wanna kill us and do it, you shitty bag of selfrighteous fuckery instead of all that preachy shit."

The shriek the Warspite let out rivaled Kurloz's howl that deafened Meulin, making Gamzee winced at the scream's pitch. A second later he nearly got brained by a gigantic shard of rock and it was only Aztera's panicked mental warning that had duck down and the rock went whistling between his horns. Eridan moved as the Warspite attacked in a frenzy, leaping across the spring in the single bound, his wand and pistol materializing in his hands in a shower of white sparkles.

The sheer fury the Warspite had flown into momentarily took Gamzee off guard as he pulled out his pair of clubs, wincing at the frenzied Rage blasting from the furious rustblood. With a heave of mental strength he tied the Rage away from Eridan's and Aztera's minds- though in Eridan's case it seemed unnecessary, with the angel chorus in his mind protecting him. At least the mental aspect of the fight was now enclosed, he just needed to kill the Warspite.

First thing first, he needed to get close. Easier said than done, with the Lowblood flying up in the air and hurling giant rocks and debris at them. Though Gamzee was huge he was fast and any boulders he was too slow to dodge he'd smash with his club and shatter into pieces which went ricocheting everywhere like shrapnel as he ran closer to the rust. Eridan suddenly fired his pistol, the howl of an angel bursting into being and shooting towards the Lowblood in a streak of light. The angel had been deliberately fired up high so the Warspite had to drop several feet to avoid being hit with the screaming creature.

Close enough for Gamzee to get within reach. With three massive steps he sprinted to the Warspite's location, jumping up one of the cracked walls of a broken building and grabbing onto the rustblood's ankle. He would've crushed it if it wasn't for the vibrating force of psychics cloaking the Lowblood's body thickly, creating enough kinetic force it prevented him from shattering bone. His weight however was great enough he managed to land back on the ground, one arm extended above and still gripping onto the Warspite's ankle. He yanked hard, surprised by the sheer resistance he encountered. He got a hard kick in the face for his efforts but managed to drag the Lowblood downwards a few more feet, though at this point he had the heels of his feet digging deep into the ground and leaning back with all his strength. The whipping braids caught his attention and Gamzee stowed his other club away and grabbed at the hair.

As soon as Gamzee grabbed onto the nearest braid something sharp tore into his hand, easily shredding through the skin to catch onto the various bones of his palm. It was then he realized the Warspite had razor wire threaded through their multitude of braids, making their hair a weapon. On the end of that thought several more braids snaked up and twisted around his neck like a noose, cutting through thick skin and slicing into muscle. Snarling, he let go of the Warspite's ankle, grabbing at the hair slicing at him.

A second later Aztera came bounding into view, hurling herself up off a massive slab of cracked earth and flinging herself at the Warspite with her club swinging down. Rather than disengaging from Gamzee, who'd now grabbed at the braids trying to throttle his neck with both hands, the rustblood dragged him around as their psychics distorted the air around them. This caused Aztera to have to grab onto Gamzee's shoulder to avoid ramming into his side and hitting him by accident. 

Aztera was clinging to Gamzee's side like a limpet, giving a grunt as her claws scraped across his pauldron with the other still gripping her club before she half-climbed half-threw herself at the Warspite again with a fierce snarl. Long braids sliced into her forearm and breastbone, making dozens of cuts in her scaly skin. A sudden psychic blast knocked the two Subjugglators back, the razor wire ripping into Gamzee's neck and hands before the Warspite flew up twenty feet and hurling the clowns backwards and onto the ground. 

As soon as they had disengaged Eridan fired again, the piercing scream of an angel ringing through the air as one of the pulsating creatures when shrieking past in a stream of blinding white. While the Warspite was occupied with Eridan's shooting at them, Gamzee quickly ejected a tub of sealant from his sylladex and smeared the green gel his bleeding neck and hands. 

"That was like, so fucking rude!" Aztera shouted, shaking a fist at the Warspite. She was fairly uncaring of her own bleeding wounds.

"Repent!" The Warspite screamed at them.

"Fuck you!"

Eridan landed next to Gamzee in a swirl of white, angular features drawn into a scowl, "They're hard to hit," he complained.

Gamzee gave a grunt, watching as the Warspite ascended upwards. The air around them shimmered and warped, the atmosphere growing heavier and heavier; how _strong_ was the Warspite? It was no small thing to fighting a Game player, much less two in one go and still be on the stronger side. Even their mind was a twisting pile of madness, but if physical brawling wasn't going to work then he would have to use his 'voodoos despite the rampant obsession sickening their thoughts. But considering they were fast enough to dodge Eridan's angels, he wasn't sure they had an alternative.

However just as he brought his psychics to bear the Warspite froze- even their long hair stopped moving, whole body ridged as their head slowly, very slowly, titled to the side as if they were listening intently. Next to him Eridan raised his wand, looking as if was going to fire at the rustblood while they were distracted but before he could the Warspite shrieked and let out a massive pulse of kinetic energy powerful enough that Gamzee had to dig his claws in to avoid getting knocked back. 

Still screaming the Warspite veered upwards and took off towards the horizon, their speed so great they quickly began to vanish into the sky.

"Huh, guess they're leaving," Eridan squinted at the rapidly disappearing spot of the Warspite. 

"We gave it a great go," Aztera offered, wandering over to the two of them with violet blood slowly seeping into her shirt, "That rustblood was totally tough." Gamzee gave a grunt of agreement. 

"Wonder why they're goin' though?"

"Could be a telepath who called them back," Eridan suggested, flicking his wand and pistol back into nonexistance, "For all we know the Warspite was just on a recon mission or somethin' and wasn't actually supposed to fight. Anyway, I'm guess they're gonna report back to whatever fuckers are hiding on this planet and they'll clear out 'cause you're here. They tend to not wanna tangle with the Church- even an admiral, maybe but not a clown."

"What's wrong with us?" Aztera sounded affronted, tugging on one of the ribbons of her club.

Eridan rolled his eyes before turning on his heel and marching back up the way they'd came, "Whatever, this planet fuckin' sucks. Time to go."

The two Subjugglator's exchanged looks before Gamzee shrugged, saying, "You got shit here to sort out sis?"

"No, my paints are all ruined," she glared over at the mess of buildings, "I'll have to go speak to Lovely about it and start over back at my little base at the trading post. Like what a waste!"

"Eh not really, can get a report on that motherfucker Warspite so that's something instead of nothin'. Anyway, got to help a sis out so I don't mind."

Aztera's smile was bright and toothy, "And I'm totally glad to meet you! You're like, really cute!"

"Same to you, fish sis."

"Would you two painted morons get your fuckin' asses moving or do I have to stand here all day?!"

* * *

"So, how was the trip?" Priest asked.

"How many fish sis do we have?"

Priest blinked, "Could you elaborate."

"I helped give an ass kicking- well uh, kinda -with a fish sis, all painted up. Got a few, don't we? Seen Eureka about and stuff, though first time seeing a seadweller one, ya know."

"Ah, guess you haven't yet aided in the initiation of a non-purple clown. It takes longer, as a rule. All of us in this blood as worshippers yet finding those of earnest faith in other castes is difficult. We have a few thousand, however. Many find the faith intimidating or prefer the worship of that crimsonblooded troll instead for whatever reason."

"So...not many?"

"For how large the Church is as a whole? No. Yet they may be rare but we cherish them all the same. Even Lowbloods can choose to become us, but due to how long the initiating process is for non-indigios they may die of age before they reach it. Still, if they are true then they are welcomed." 

"Huh...what if they're a tyrian- ya know, the Empress colour?"

"It's never happened before, due to the rarity, but if she was true of faith then yes," Priest said, "However it would be difficult as she would be expected to be loyal to the Church first, not the Empire, not herself."

Considering how vain he'd found all fuchsia trolls he doubted that would ever happen. They loved themselves too much to do it. Even if he liked Feferi he knew she was self centred. Simply seemed to be a trait of their caste and one he couldn't really blame them for. He did wonder how Feferi and Karkat shared power in the rebellion though and guessed they would've had to enter a quadrant of some sort to try and balance out the power- only the real explanation he could see for the two.

"Figured it would also be some awkward shit if she lied and violated a Tenant and got her ass burned," Gamzee mused, thoughts shifting back to the potential of a Subjugglator Empress, "Then all of us be seeing the Messiahs early."

"That too. Still, it would have to happen if she joined the faith. And the faith is not something you can discard," Priest said, "You become one of us and you die as us- you cannot simply change your mind a hundred sweeps later. The only way to leave the Church is to die."

Gamzee saw no problem with that; he'd already died multiple times for his faith.

* * *

Rebel hunting became a favoured past time of his, directing the Subjugglator flagship to any planet or colony with rumoured activity. The widespread nature of the Empire, of the Church, helped immensely as clowns on vague missions or even a dozen universes away would send messages or requests for rebels they'd potentially found and he'd gladly offer a hand to help. Gratia praised him at one point, clearly pleased with his 'help any clown' attitude and Gamzee felt immensely flustered by it. Gratia had always been his favourite among the High Priestormentors for many reasons but their supportive behaviour was one of the best. Priest just seemed amused when Gamzee confided in him later.

Either way, that was how Gamzee found himself snuffling around a village carved from the huge stone mountain side, a village of a long extinct species. Other clowns were scouring the rest of the planet alongside him, having gotten an alert from a Laughassassin of the presence of rebels in the area. The village was an old landmark, looking out at the lip of a cliff and he'd peered inside many of the houses and noted how many were obviously built for a species far smaller than trolls.

Gamzee paused abruptly in the middle of poking at a rotted doorway, his ears twitching. Automatically he swept the area with his psychics but he detected no other minds within the vicinity.

Despite that he _knew_ someone was out there. Perhaps it was another troll with the same passive abilities as Eureka? Their mind undetectable? Could be, despite Gamzee knowing Eureka was the only troll recorded with such a passive psychic trait. Gamzee nonetheless felt as if he was watched as he moved, scratching at the underside of his jaw as he walked.

Then the wind shifted directed and Gamzee's nostrils were suddenly filled with the achingly familiar salty scent of sweet, oil and the sharp tang of metal. He knew that smell. He'd be stuck with it for a few billion sweeps of monotony within the Dreambubbles. He'd been familiar with it while trapped on a giant meteor flying through space. He been assailed with it while he twisted a broken bow between his hands and watched the life drain out of someones eyes.

_Zahhak._

Instantly he pivoted in place, lips peeling back in a snarl even as another troll landed on the opposite end of the camp with a thunderous crash, making a crater in the rock with the force of their landing; he must have dropped down from the shelf of rock looming over the old dead village.

Gamzee bared his teeth in the facsimile of a grin, "Hey, Eq. Looking good since I last saw ya."

It was the truth; despite being forced on the run and being constantly hunted by the Empire Equius was still in good shape compared with many of the other rebels Gamzee had run across. His black-and-blue armour was in good shape, despite the thick mud and blood smeared up to his knees. It was still fairly bemusing to see the two long, arrow-shaped horns dues to Gamzee being so used to one being broken.

Equius didn't respond to Gamzee's words beyond a deepening of his frown and Gamzee couldn't help but wave playfully at him. He hadn't seen Equius since their last run-in while the blueblood was still with the Empire and there was none of the casual politeness in the blueblood's demeanor anymore. Just tense energy.

"Huh, meowbeast got your tongue?" Gamzee called, shifting so he was leaning against the broken remains of a hive, "Kinda used to you blurting out useless shit ain't anyone wanna hear but maybe getting your kitty sis fucked up ruined it."

Truthfully Gamzee didn't really know all the details about what the Overseer did to Nepeta but considering the fairly gleeful way Hestia described it- since she heard it from the Overseer's Descendant's moirail -Nepeta certainly wasn't the troll she'd used to be. No, if it was one thing the Overseer knew it was how to break a troll down. Equius may have said he and Nepeta weren't moriails back when he first met him in the Empire but Gamzee had a hunch the blueblood had been lying.

A pity what happened though, since he still had fond memories of her, both as Kurloz and himself despite him killing her during a mind-controlled rampage for his Messiah. She, out of all the trolls, was the one who deserved that the least. Well except for Aradia. She was probably Gamzee's favourite. Maybe it was a Maid thing?

He burst out laughing, unable to help himself. Prince and Maid.

"Ah shit, my bad- ain't gonna even say hi? Expected some groveling shit from my old Invertebrother or did that fuck up with the lil' green kitty mess that up as well huh?" Gamzee taunted without thinking. As soon as the words left his lips a sharp stab of pain erupted within his thinkpan and nearly made him wince but didn't disperse the suddenly feeling of hot shame that rose up within him like bile. He shouldn't have said that callous remark but it was too late to take those words back.

Equius to his credit didn't even twitch as Gamze'ss jeering, his eyes cold flints of blue. His hands curled into fists at his side and the blueblood hunkered down slightly. Gamzee was prepared for many things; Equius mocking him back, for any other rebels to come leaping out at him or even for Equius to use some weird Void powers and escape.

He did not, however, expect Equius to outright attack him.

There was a thunderous _crack_ as Equius suddenly launched himself forward, sending shards of rock flying in all direction as he propelled himself with such force he momentarily broke the sound barrier with a dull roar, reaching Gamzee in under a second. Gamzee was so caught off guard by Equius actually _attacking_ him, something utterly at odds with the eons of memories weighing down his think pan the thought to defend himself didn't even cross his mind before Equius' armoured fist went smashing into the side of his jaw, sending him spinning backwards and crashing into one of the stone huts in an explosion of dust.

On any other troll the blow would've killed them or at least broken their jaw; with Gamzee it dislodged three teeth and shattered four others. He spat them out with a nonchalant smirk, a trickle of purple blood spilling over his lips.

"Hehe, fuckin' finally got a posture pole in that ol' rule stickler blueness eh?" Rolling his neck Gamzee got back up to his feet, matching Equius' cold stare with a playful one of his own. This fight was going to be _interesting._

Equius flew at him again but this time Gamzee was ready; he feigned to the side and lashed out with long claws, his talons producing horrid shrieks as they skittered across Equius' gut armour. The blueblood ignore this and punched Gamzee hard in the stomach, the blow temporarily knocking the wind from his lungs. However when Gamzee doubled over he intentionally smashed his forehead into Equius', his long horns colliding painfully with the blueblood's and momentarily stunning them both.

Taking advantage of the close quarters Gamzee snapped at Equius' head, aiming to sink his teeth into the blueblood's face so he could easily crush the Heir's skull between his teeth.

Equius swiftly hopped backwards out of range before springing forward in a leap and sweeping his leg down in a powerful kick which Gamzee blocked with his gauntlet-clad forearm. The strength behind Equius' blow caused the cold stone around Gamzee's feet to shatter and sent a cloud of dust and rock exploding outwards in a heavy shockwave which broke several nearby windows. Snarling Gamzee seized Equius' leg with his other hand and threw the blueblood away from him, only for the Heir to easily twist in mid-flight and land on his feet a few yards away.

Gamzee instantly pursued him, flash-stepping around the blueblood and snapping at his back. Equius pivoted, too slow to avoid Gamzee's attack but quick enough that Gamzee's teeth missed the intended target of the nape of the blueblood's neck and instead sinking his teeth into the thick muscle between Equius' shoulder. Snarling, Gamzee forced his teeth past the armour and hair until thick cold blood began to seep into his mouth, yanking Equius with him as he dragged them both backwards.

To his credit Equius didn't even make a noise when Gamzee's teeth punctured his neck, instead twisting up his hands and trying to seize one of his wavy horns. Instantly Gamzee released Equius and kicked him hard in the back, sending the blueblood stumbling forward. Quickly Equius pivoted and punched Gamzee hard in the shoulder, knocking him through a nearby building with a crash and cloud of dust.

With a grunt Gamzee heaved himself up from the rubble then promptly dodged out of the way, a gauntlet fist smashing into the stone his head had been seconds earlier.

Interestingly enough, Gamzee was still unable to detect Equius' mind; no doubt the blueblood's passive Heir of Void abilities protecting him from Gamzee's influence.

That curiosity was shoved to the back as he flung himself at Equius, ramming into him and punching the blueblood in the face- it was like hitting a stone wall and Gamzee heard more than felt three of his fingers break. Equius in retaliation punched his shoulder again, this time breaking the bone but due to the pauldron it keep the bone in place sufficiently enough that he could still move. Gamzee bit Equius in response, sinking long fangs into his forearm and spinning around before letting go, hurling the blueblood into one of the huts with a crash.

Gamzee used the pause to roll his shoulder; the pain was sickening, but he'd been hurt before so he shoved it to the back of his mind using his 'voodoos. Then nearly got brained by a giant piece of rock hurled at him, closely followed by a furious Equius. His Rage pulsed hot and violent, catching the blueblood before he could land his kick and breaking Equius' left ankle with his teeth. In response Equius smashed his right fist into Gamzee's clenched jaw, breaking it this time after failing the first. Gamzee was forced to let go of the blueblood, even though he intended to rip the Heir's shin off- or at least his whole foot.

The next few minutes of their brawl was brutal and vicious, with both Highblood's ignoring their increasing injuries and the blue and purple blood that splattered across the yellow stone. Equius managed to break Gamzee's femur but paid for it with a broken knee cap and Gamzee managed to peel off the blueblood's gauntlet and maul the flesh below and got a violent strike to an already broken jaw for the trouble.

Then the two Highblood's found themselves in a lock, Gamzee's claws clenched tight in a fistful of Equius' long hair with the other gouging deep underneath the armour on the blueblood's abdomen to the vulnerable skin below. He was unable to sink long claws too deep into the organs below by powerful fingers holding his broken shoulder in an iron grip and making the whole arm spasm and go unresponsive while Equius' other hand was clenched around Gamzee's throat. The two remained in place, neither able to move from the grip the other had on their opponent so it shifted from a fight of strength and speed to a fight of endurance.

Gamzee said nothing, tongue lolling out of his broken jaw and glowing purple eyes staring at Equius' unyielding blue ones, the Heir not even blinking even as blood from the bone-deep wound on his brow steadily dripped into his eyes.

Then a wild scream cut through the air and Hestia came hurtling down, having flung herself off the roof of one of the buildings, plunging down with a poleaxe clasped in both talons and lethal point aiming directly for Equius' face. To avoid having his brain skewered, Equius suddenly vanished and Gamzee was grasping at empty air. Caught off guard he stumbled and fell on all fours, sucking in a strangled breath. He felt Hestia land feet first on his back, her landing cushioned by his hair and leapt onto the ground. As she landed Equius reappeared several feet away, stumbling into a wall with a painful grunt.

He couldn't keep up his intangibility- Gamzee guessed it was something he'd learned through his use of Void they weren't in the Game anymore; powers were learned ugly and rough, especially if it wasn't an original intention of the class. With that in mind Gamzee straightened up and followed Hestia as she rushed Equius.

While the fight between Gamzee and Equius was equal, with the appearance of an ally tipped the scales for Gamzee's favour. He had to falter at times, shove Hestia to the side or take a blow intended for her as he knew Equius could kill her in a fight if he landed a full hit upon her, but her speed had always been her greatest ally and with Gamzee provided a sufficient distraction she managed to injure Equius, the side of a spike mace breaking the armour on his lower back with the thorns drawing bright blue blood. However she paid for that in the form of a broken nose but she'd suffered from those a dozen times over and didn't even curse.

Then Equius dodged a sharp needle which embedded deep in the wall behind him even as Koiboi landed with a _thud_ next to Gamzee, breathing hard but expression as sharp as diamonds. 

Gamzee could see Equius calculating the chances for the fight between himself the three, blue eyes darting from each of the clowns and clearly came up with the most obvious outcome- he would not win. With that in mind he moved, snapping a spear in half that Hestia tried to stab him with and avoiding a noose of shimmering wire strung between Koiboi's needles, until he reached the lip of the village and with a powerful leap launched himself into the air and towards the opposite cliff face. He hit the wall of stone and, using his fingers, clawed his way up the face until he scaled to the top and vanished off into the forest. 

Hestia snarled viciously and sprinted after him and was about to hurl herself off into the air when yarn looped around her waist and yanked her backwards and ignoring her cursing.

"Hestia there is no time for this! Can you not see how badly injured Gamzee is?"

Instantly she stopped her furious tirade, fury being replaced with an expression of shock when she finally realized how deeply blood splattered Gamzee was, at how he was leaning heavily on his side to avoid jostling his broken leg and instantly she rushed over to his side.

"Oh shit," Hestia panicked, hands hovering near his shoulder where a pauldron had been ripped free and showing skin pulled tight over bulging bone, "Fuck fuck, this is a lot of bleeding and broken shit- we gotta get you to the needleman right away, fuck I'm sorry, I was late-"

"There isn't time for this," Koiboi cut off Hestia's words even as he slathered on sealant gel on Gamzee's torn thigh, "Send a message to one of the Priests and inform them of what has occurred here. He'll survive, but Gamzee is gravely injured."

Gamzee tried to assure his friends he was fine, he'd lived through far worse injures even with his bones jutting out of his skin and his jaw broken. His faith wouldn't let him die so quickly but his assurances fell on deaf ears so after a few minutes he gave up and let them fuss until Eminor landed planet side and hauled them all out of the dead village.

* * *

"Oh you are in a right state, darling," Abutor made a face, nimbly sewing shut an ugly wound on Gamzee's back.

"Yeah well, a fights a fight," Gamzee shrugged until Abutor's hiss made him stop.

He'd been in Abutor's room for nearly an hour, with the little Doctorturer setting bones and treating his injuries while clicking his tongue unhappily. Koiboi and Hestia, having far less injuries than him, had been healed in only a few minutes and shooed from the room, leaving Gamzee alone with the other clown. Having his leg and shoulder bones reset hurt the most, his leg especially as the bone had been snapped harshly but the relief after they'd been broken back into place made him sigh happily. He had been used to pain but it didn't mean he enjoyed it.

"It was that blueblood savage wasn't it? Of those rebels," Abutor sniffed, "I swear, I never understand what's going through those daft heretic's minds."

"Eh, not much I'd think," Gamzee said, thinking back to how he'd been unable to read Equius' mind, instead just finding a Void.

Abutor gave an unhappy huff, finished with stitching the wound and now smearing it in a bright orange paste before covering it with a skin-like membrane. Gamzee studied his hands as the Doctorturer worked, eyeing his claws and noting how there was dried flecks of blue blood in the quick.

"Well that's all the open wounds and broken bones set and healing," Abutor said, watching him carefully, "You've just got lots of bruising left- rub this gel into the bruised areas to help the swelling recover more," the pottle he was given was small enough to fit in one of his hands and the gel within was a pale yellow.

After a moment Gamzee rose, rolling his shoulders and feeling aches and stifled sensations; Abutor knew his work well and he thanked the Doctorturer before going back to his rooms. As he settled down into his pile of skulls he rubbed the gel into his bruises and then when that was done he went and washed his hands, getting rid of the blue stains underneath his talons. He watched the faint traces of the blood vanish down the sink amid the water, thoughts moving slow and curious.

He wasn't sure why but he felt weirdly proud of Equius for finally standing up to him, for throwing off the obsession with the hemospectrum.

* * *

The next day Gamzee spent recovering from the fight, though after his sleep into his 'coon a lot of his bruising was well on the way to recovery and the gel Abutor gave him helped immensely. He wondered what was in it, but the one time he decided to lick it, the vile taste made him cringe and he didn't try again.

He spent a while watching the many episodes of Eureka's Chaos Quadrant Conundrum and seeing the deaths fight were fascinating especially between quadrants. The elaborate arenas were also interesting and Gamzee wondered how they created them though it some cases it seemed they just dumped the trolls on a hostile planet and let them duke it out among themselves while contending with the violent fauna. Eureka was also good entertainment and while he was the host, Candeo the Rainbow Drinker wouldn't be too far behind and she'd always be there to enthusiastically explain the rules for each episode; usually they'd stay the same but occasionally there would be a change up and she'd happily explain it. She was also extremely dexterous for someone with only one arm.

There were occasionally guests on Eureka's show to be a co-host, mostly other clowns but sometimes it would be past winners of the show. From what he learned, all winners of Chaos Quadrant Conundrum would be forgiven for all past debts and grievance, in exchange for belonging to Eureka and essentially becoming his employees. But, as Eureka stressed, they were always taken good care of and fed and healthy. Also by being claimed by a clown, even a blueblooded one, meant only the most foolish would hard them or have to deal with the Church. One of the episodes had a co-host who was a rustblood and it was interesting how Eureka never gave deference based on blood as soon as someone became a winner and thus in his care.

Eureka was a good clown, Gamzee decided.

His calm day was interrupted when Occhio burst into his rooms without warning, making him jump from where he was watching a movie on his husktop.

"Oi, what're you doing?" Occhio said, seeming almost giddy.

"Uh, just sitting watchin' shit," Gamzee replied, confused, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing- I'm just here to give you a heads up for some shit that's about to go down, 'cause we're about to change course and you being the Higblood gotta give the announcement for where we're going."

"Where?"

"Meh, somewhere in the ass end of the 'Orion Arm' or some dumb shit I don't care to remember so it's gonna take a bit to reach it but hey, gotta celebrate when we finally get to blood you initiates after all this waiting."

"Yeah you totally mother fuckin' lost me," Gamzee said, "I ain't been an initiate for a fuckin' while unless my thinkpan made up loads of shit for me lately."

"Oh I still consider you lot initiates until you pass the final test."

"What's that, blind bro?"

Occhio grinned at him, all sharp fangs and malice, "Because wiggler, you've about to get your first invasion. The Empire scouts have finally stopped being such shit and found an alien species that've not yet encountered by the Empire, all nice and fresh and ready for a fuckin' invading. So get your ass in gear, you got an announcement to make."

Gamzee blinked, rising from his chair and feeling a shiver of excitement ripple down his spine, "An invasion, huh? Sounds like some motherfuckin' fun."

"You bet your ass it is."

* * *


	37. Kiwiana

* * *

Jane stared at the tabletop in front of her, forearms resting on the cool surface. The fingers of her right hand drummed on the polished stone, a meaningless rhythm. Her left hand still ended in a stump just below the wrist but she could still _feel_ the sensation of her left hand, of the fingers and flexing tendons. An odd feeling considering she could see the jagged tissue and bone through the translucent green gel slathered across the wound and sealing it shut. The impromptu sling of purple ribbon still encased the forearm of her injured arm, secured around her neck, even if Gamzee's shirt was still unerringly large on her; if she looked down, the front of the collar gaped open and she could see the curves of her breasts and stomach. It was like a saggy dress but at least it was warm and she wasn't wandering around naked.

Warmer at least than the tension hovering in the air at the end of their conversation.

 _What am I going to do?_ Jane thought in despair. She was alive, which was pretty much her main consolation, and Gamzee recognized her which was an additional plus. But how in Earth was she going to convince Gamzee to help her? She figured outright asking him to turn his back on the Empire was severely pushing it and she had no idea how being a clown even worked beyond a religious theme. However if it was truly religious then she needed to step very, very carefully. She'd seen enough of zealots among humans- for aliens who essentially had an entire caste who were solely devoted it for countless centuries on end was most likely far worse.

He was also the head of said alien religion which was also Not Good. She was unsure how to convince him to aid her, as even all the obnoxious people she'd dealt with as CEO of Crocker Corp would pale in comparison with him. She was also biased, horribly so, but despite that she wouldn't give up. Her family needed her; she wasn't so arrogant to think she could single handedly change the direction of the war, but she was the only one out of them all to specialize in healing and was the only one who could resurrect one of them if they died.

A chill slid down her back, not just from the droplets falling from her still damp hair, as an ugly thought suddenly surged up in her mind- _What if one of them had already died?_

It was likely, horribly so. She knew they wouldn't abandon her, that they'd be trying to find ways to locate and save her. They wouldn't know she had gotten out of that vile little beast's 'Rainbow room' as Gamzee had called it. She had no way to send them a message and she wasn't a tech wiz like Dirk or Roxy so she couldn't even break into Gamzee's computer when she'd been roaming around earlier.

Gamzee at least didn't seem to care about her brooding and was munching on something he'd pulled from the fridge that was oozing a vibrant orange slime on his fingers and looked like a toadstool. She eyed him carefully, at his thick wild hair, towering wavy horns and heavy limbs and long claws. His incisors were longer than her index finger and she could see them flashing with each bite.

It made her think of Calliope for some reason, remembering how Gamzee told her he'd raised the Cherubs for some time. She'd hoped that she had been alive like the trolls after the Game and Gamzee's earlier denial about the type of session the Cherubs had been in which had no chance for a universe being hatched. It saddened her immensely, as she had fond memories of hours of talk with Calliope and how it had mostly been at her urging that Jane even played Sburb in the first place.

_How lonely Calliope must have been._

"But she's the Empress? Doesn't she have jurisdiction over you?" Churches and cults in the human world certainly weren't exempt from public scrutiny; it just reminded her of the whole debacle with eradicating Scientology. That hadn't been a fun few months for any of them. Gamzee didn't seem bothered by the random change of conversation.

"Yeah, 'cause she has an Empire. Ain't a Grand Highblood since that's Church noise and she ain't part of it. Church ain't having an Empress."

"Well, sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade," Jane said tersely. She was getting into a linguistics argument with Gamzee, to her frustration. Not what she was aiming for.

"I don't wanna pitch though," Gamzee complained, a whine entering his voice, "Fucked shit I ain't want any of that. Spades are shit. Same with ash."

Jane felt as if she'd completely missed half of the conversation, "What are you talking about? I didn't even say such a thing."

Gamzee looked as confused as Jane felt, "Then what you talkin' about?"

"Oh for- is that about my spade comment? I don't understand troll things that well. What I meant by 'call a spade a spade' is moreso calling something that it is rather than dawdling or making vague comments. It's being blunt, obvious."

He grunted slightly, taking her explanation with comment. She sighed, squinting down at her bruised and battered reflection in the polished marble. She wanted her father. Gamzee's hugs were nice, but it was those of a lover not a guardian, a parent. The part of her which was still a daughter wanted her father's hugs to banished all the crippling fear and pain she'd felt while being tortured, his embrace always willingly given when she'd woken him up in the dead of night after a nightmare or assassination attempt.

She was unaware she'd started crying silently until a large hand settled on her head, rubbing at her messy hair and claws lightly scratching her scalp. Jane let him do that for a minute before gently pushing his hand away. He blinked at her, jagged facepaint ceasing as he frowned.

"I need to go home." Jane said quietly.

For a long moment Gamzee stared at her, looking utterly confused even though Jane didn't know why; it was a perfectly logical, understandable request, wasn't it? She was being held prisoner, of course she wanted to leave. She got _tortured._ She wanted to get off the ship.

"Why you gotta leave?" Gamzee finally said, sounding oddly wounded, "You just got here. Ain't seen you so long that isn't some thinkpan 'voodoo shit."

"Gamzee, I can't just stay here! I need to go back, I need to help my family."

"No no, but that ain't a problem!" Gamzee flashed her a smile, "It's all 'cause I've got some pull with Condy, ya know? And if I ask her that I wanna keep you and your lil' family for my own I bet I can- keep you all together, yeah? 'Cause I know you lil' motherfuckers don't like being separated."

Jane felt like she'd just hallucinated, staring at Gamzee in shock before she said slowly, "You mean...keep us as slaves?"

"Well yeah, but that way you got each other and you ain't gotta worry about dying on one another."

"That's a horrible thing to say!" 

The Bard looked genuinely confused at that as if he utterly lacked any comprehension of how completely vile his words were. It made her feel sick. _What did they do to him?_

Jane felt tears blur her vision further and she angrily dashed them away with her remaining hand. Ten years, it was something she had to remember. Ten years. It was most likely that he was far removed from the awkward boy she remembered but he'd still rescued her so that had to count for something- she had to cling to that slight shred of hope, cursing herself inwardly for how trapped she was. She couldn't just fight her way out, crippled and exhausted as she was so she had to find some way to force him to help. 

_No, not force. He could easily kill me in the state I'm in, but I don't feel threatened. I just...I just need a way to convince him to get me back on Earth, than I can make my own way home._ But selflessly, she wanted to keep Gamzee. A foolish notion but one she wanted nonetheless. Also if she succeeded then she'd take Gamzee out of the Empire's forces, one less Game player to deal with. She wouldn't be able to turn him against the Empire however, that she felt an uncanny certainty.

"Gamzee, I don't want to be a slave. Neither do any of my family," Jane finally said, "We'd rather die."

Gamzee looked confused, "But you ain't be gettin' hurt. Get to keep you all safe and shit."

"I don't want to be a slave. I would rather _die._ " Her tone left no room for argument. She'd been the slave to the Condesce once, never again. Gamzee stared at her, lips slightly open, as he was having difficulty understanding her. 

"Well then...guess you can just stay here with me," Gamzee finally said, ears drooping.

"I'm not. I'm going home and helping my family kill the Condesce to end this war."

"You thinkin' lil' star monkeys like you're motha fucks can do it?"

"We did it once, we can do so again."

A grunt and then his eyes slid to half mast again. Jane glared at him but still wasn't sure what to do- how could she convince him? He was her only way out of the hellish ship filled with blood and bones and the screams of the dying. She didn't want to languish in such a place.

Swallowing back a bite of mounting hysteria Jane rubbed at her cheeks, which were still wet with tears. Gamzee was far different from any politician or board member, whom she'd dealt with many as the CEO of Crocker Corp. She knew the usual methods wouldn't work on him and she needed to find a way to convince him to help her- he obviously had fond memories of her, the fact he'd rescued her from that evil little doctor was proof enough. However she wasn't sure how to approach him on the issue, how to ask for his aid without it sounding like treason.

 _Calliope would've._ The words teetered on her lips but she forced herself to swallow the words, to remain mute. As furious and anguished as she was, she wasn't so cruel as to hurl his dead children in his face. Her time of being a temperamental teenager girl was a decade past and she'd had ample time to control her fury as treacherous as it were. Even if she hated Caliborn she wasn't so spiteful to manipulate the grief of a parent who lost both of his children.

She tried a different track, "Gamzee, we're going to kill the Condesce- you know that."

"So what?" Gamzee didn't seem that bothered, "Even if she dies ain't gonna be affectin' the Church too much from what the old man said, not really got a voice in it 'cause she's a heathen so wish death on her if you want."

Jane blinked; she had thought it wouldn't be that easy. His means of nicknames seemed at odds with his blithe dismissal of her threat towards the Empress since Gamzee would know it was not an idle one. She eyed the huge troll, carefully running his words over in her head. A _heathen_ he'd called her. A strong term of insult for his Empress and Jane had to remind herself that Gamzee was religious, his entire caste was. She had to assume that faith influenced every aspect of his life more or less, something he'd been born and bred with if any of the indicators were true. His devoutness seemed odd in hindsight, with her memories how he used to be, but people practiced in their own ways.

He also mentioned before that she held no jurisdiction over the Church itself, so it seemed as if there was a separation between the Empire and clowns- they only obeyed their Grand Highblood, who seemed to cooperate with the Condesce as a beneficial agreement. But either way Jane wasn't so foolish as to think she'd just be allowed to just walk out but if she could convince him to just send her back to Earth. Even anywhere on the planet, she'd be able to make her way home.

But still, ten years was a vast difference. Jane knew she wasn't the same as the foolish, air-headed girl she'd been back in that horrid Game and he wasn't the same clown boy she'd met. However one thing seemed to be the same and that was his devoutness- an odd trait for him, but that was Jane's own interpretation of faith at work. In hindsight his behaviour back in Sburb made sense, especially if his faith and children were one in the same. She knew, instinctively, she would never be able to convince him to leave the Church. However she still didn't know what, really, his faith entailed so she would have to work around that.

There was also the matter of his aspect and class. Her family had spent weeks over the years trying to understand what abilities were behind aspects and classes and how they could influence people and their users. Jade had once joked as a Maid Jane was actually 'Made' of life. Her self healing seemed to encourage that but from Dave's remarks he'd seen the Life Witch of the trolls heal someone from the brink of death so she wasn't sure. She could resurrect someone but only once and her healing grew strong over the years due to extensive practice so many of the abilities were left up to theories and speculations. Calliope had helped, as Dirk kept a record of all pesterlog conversations after the Game when he took all of their computers and tablets and backed up the data on personal servers. However he'd also warned that they would have to take Callope's comments with a grain of salt as Calliope could be wrong in her theories. 

But Jane still remembered reading through Dirk's long past conversation with Calliope where she spoke of Princes and Bards, saying how Bards were a 'wild card' class and immensely unpredictable along with influencing a spectacular downfall or improbable defeat. 

While their classes weren't as important now they weren't in the Game Jane wasn't stupid enough to believe letting Gamzee free range when he held a class which could cause such destruction was wise- she knew from Rose, who'd been trapped with trolls for three years, that from the troll's tales Gamzee had such the most powerful and crippling blow against the gigantic monstrous Black King before going back to spacing out. Jane was unsure, but John had told her about how Gamzee killed that other girl troll who'd attacked him, knocking him off a Condesce-controlled Jane, and Gamzee beat her to death with his bare hands.

But paired with such an illusive aspect Jane could only theorize on what a Bard of Rage could do. Many aspects held a generality along with a literal meaning in their title; John's Breath aspect meant he could transform himself into the wind but he also inspired others and idolized freedom. Roxy could bring things into existence from nothing but could also turn herself invisible. They lucked out in not having a Rage player but Jane speculated it meant rage but also embodied any strong emotion that overrode reason- she'd seen people go mad with anger before, but other emotions could easily cause such a change. She also remembered how Gamzee's Life force had _burned_ like a fire when she sensed it back in the bathroom, which reinforced her belief.

If that was the case then she definitely needed to control her emotions especially if as a Bard, a passive class, meant Gamzee couldn't control his influence and he could inadvertently sway her if she kept herself near the brink of hysteria. Her earlier crying helped calm her somewhat, but even so Jane started to focus on her breathing until her hand stopped shaking.

Jane's voice was level when she asked him, "So you won't mind if I kill the Condesce?"

Gamzee shrugged, pauldrons rolling with the movement, "Well, mean 'cause she's cullin' you lil' fucks left and right that's up on your right, ain't it? As a human empress, you got that shit to put a boot up her ass."

"It won't be a boot, I'll be smashing my fist right through her bloody head," Jane snapped. For some reason that made Gamzee smile at her, paint wrinkling around the corners of his mouth and eyes as he grinned. She blushed faintly, gaze briefly darting back down to the table top.

"Murderous plans aside," Jane said after awkwardly clearing her throat, "In order to do that I need to get back home."

That wiped the smile off his face, a serious expression replacing it instead, "How you gon' do that?"

"You."

She couldn't understand the look he gave her but she knew it wasn't a positive response. Then again she shouldn't have just blurted out her request like that, it was rather rude and blunt.

Taking a deep breath Jane continued haltingly, "Just...can you escort me back down to Earth? You can leave as soon as you do so, I'm not asking you to attack anyone-"

"Why you wanna leave?" Gamzee asked looking upset.

"I don't want to be here," she tried to explain, struggling to keep her voice level, "I'm a prisoner, Gamzee. I want to go back home with my family- you wouldn't like it if you were separated from the uh, the other clowns would you?"

"I go on shit from time to time on my own lonely lonesome, 'cause like fam is great but still gotta be able to function with yaself," Gamzee said, oblivious.

"I want to leave. I _will_ be leaving. With or without your help. I want to think it will be with."

He tensed, shoulders hunching and clawed hands twitching at his side, "I ain't gonna be doing that- being Grand Highblood means I gotta look after all them motherfuckers who follow the faith."

"Gamzee," Jane tried again, tone gentle, "I'm not asking you to- to abandon the Church. I'm not asking that. All I'm asking for you to do is send me back to Earth. I am not asking for you to leave the Church or attack any of your um, fellow Church goers. I just want you to help me back to Earth- that's all."

The Bard looked confused and slightly wary, "But I don't know where you humans are all holed up at."

"It doesn't matter. If you can get me to Earth, I can find my own way back. We have plans for this," Jane said. It was true, more or less; if she could find a working teleporter then she could access the emergency override codes in the system which would send her to the personal teleporters in the mousehole that only she and her family had access to. Once a code was used, however, it would immediately become useless to prevent any attempt at tracking. All of the Game players had a code individual to them and Jane knew hers. All she needed to do was find a teleporter, any that worked would suffice. Potentially she could even use a troll-made teleporter and it should sync up with the human network if she used the correct codes however the risk of the trolls catching onto it and reverse-engineering a way to crack into the human system made her leery of the idea as if was too much of a risk.

So, ultimately, she just needed to convince Gamzee to take her off the Subjugglator flagship then she could find her way back. Then she could sort out all the other problems.

 _But what if he doesn't want to let you go?_ a small voice hissed in her mind. She swallowed nervously, not wanting to entertain the fact that Gamzee could hold her prisoner and she would hardly be able to do anything. She _could_ try killing him but she was unsure if she would succeed and ultimately she didn't want to harm him. She might have to, but the damage he could dole back at make her wary of such an option, moreso she was trapped on a ship with many other clowns. While she was blind to the various aspects of a caste, she knew the purplebloods had an unusually high level of cooperation for trolls, especially for Highbloods. They would probably take umbridge with her trying to murder their leader. 

"I ain't leaving the Church," Gamzee said the words quietly, softly. Jane wasn't sure if she would've preferred him shouting.

Carefully she said, "I'm not asking you to leave the Church. Is there...are there rules? Can you tell me them?"

He paused, lips pursed slightly. He was clearly thinking over her words before nodding, "Ain't much muteness on it- like ain't shared but ain't hidden, ya know? Anyway, like I'm the Highblood and if I say this shit then I gotta be able to say shit and 'cause you knew one of my Massiahs or both but was all broship with Callie it ain't gonna be hurting. Either way, most of them rules are the Ten Tenants."

Jane nodded, curious despite herself, "So these tenants...there's uh, ten." Jane immediately winced when she said that, realizing how completely stupid she sounded.

Gamzee didn't seem to care, nodding as well, "Yup, ten 'cause there's Ten. Basic shit, like all 'bout takin' care of the Church before all others, you get me? Ain't killing anyone, ain't stealing or cheatin' and shit."

"So a lot is respect? For one another."

"Yup. Also makin' sure you keeping respect for the Messiahs."

"Callie."

A wistful expression settled onto Gamzee's face, smoothing out the harshness of his paint. For all his flaws and differences, he clearly loved the Cherubs. Nodding again he said, "Yeah, like keeping them Messiahs close to ya blood pusher, and ain't be speaking their names."

"Oh, I see. Some religions do have that rule, where you cannot utter god's name, or whatever god they worship. With the Cherubs it makes more sense because of their body swaps..."

"Yeah."

"I have some of my own beliefs," Jane said, "I mean, they're called the noble eightfold path, but there are the rules you should abide by such as the right thinking, right speech, right effort, right mindfulness...Such a thing helped me grateful when I suffered and deteriorated some time ago. It was refreshing to have a philosophy to live by. That's who I view my Buddhism, rather than a religion."

"You have a faith?" Gamzee noticeably perked up at that, the tiny fins along the underside of his pointed ears flicking up. She wasn't sure why she was even surprised, considering how much devoutness made up Gamzee's personality that he was interested in human beliefs or at the very least curious. However it wasn't exactly the time for them to share faith, especially since she had a time limit- or least least she felt more and more stressed the longer she was separated and held hostage. She could talk philosophy, ideology and faith with him at a later date- hopefully.

Not that she should hope _too_ hard, as the Empire potentially had a Prince of Hope in their ranks. She was still annoyingly limited in her understanding of that stupid, sadistic Game.

Getting back on track Jane said, "But nothing there says you can't help me- I'm not asking you to commit treason or to hurt any clowns, I'm just asking you to take me back to Earth. I want to kill the Condesce, is there anything in your Tenants prohibition that?"

He thought for a moment, "Nah."

"Then you aren't leaving the Church, I'm not asking you to. I just want you to take me back to Earth and then, if you want, we can part ways. If your fellow clowns are angry well uh, you can just tell them what I'm saying- there's no rule against it. You're the leader anyway, you could do what you want." She was pushing it, she could tell from the look Gamzee gave her so she quickly amended, "But just like me you have to take the well being of your people into consideration. If you were- I mean, I have to protect humanity, just like how you know you have to protect fellow clowns. We're both in positions of authority that require us to look after others."

"Gamzee, I don't want to have to fight my way out of here," Jane continued, "And you _know_ I will do so. Even crippled as I am, and I have a high chance of killing any clown that I come across. I don't want that. I just want you to put me back on Earth." She figured Gamzee didn't exactly have the delicateness to take her words as an overt threat. As it was, she inwardly cringed at how she spoke as it almost sounded like a ransom at least to her.

The Bard didn't seem to notice however, as Gamzee crossed his muscular arms with a thoughtful look on his face.

"I know you have responsibilities, but so do I," she stressed, trying to control the intensity of her voice, "Just put me back on Earth. _Please._ "

Gamzee didn't say anything but she didn't feel a strange pressure around her skull and she immediately guessed he was trying to read her mind- or at least snag up on her general intent. Troll psychics didn't work properly on humans but she nonetheless tried to expression mentally how she genuinely just wanted to go home even if she just ended up using her Life sense. Gamzee's eyes shifted slightly, flickering a plethora of purple before he frowned. There was an odd rippling across his body and he huffed deeply in a strong exhale. Jane could see from his stance that he was thinking about her request intently, so intently that his entire body seemed to lock up and his thoughts were miles away.

Even as the minutes crawled by Gamzee said nothing and Jane didn't interrupt him, sitting quietly as she waited for him to make up his mind. She'd said her piece and now it was entirely up to him whether he agreed or not and she felt a pressure in her spine, a twinge like a burning muscle and she winced before rubbing at the small of her back with her whole hand. She was distracted enough she missed Gamzee's odd look and how he straightened up abruptly.

"Okay."

His sudden words caught her off guard and she blinked dumbly at him a moment, "What?"

"Okay. Let all get you back on your homeship, ain't want you trashing stuff here. Said I ain't gonna hurt you and ain't wanna make her disappointed so let's do it." Gamzee said, face serious.

Despite herself giddiness roiled up in her gut and her eyes shone with tears and she beamed at Gamzee, making the tiny fins on his ears flush a deeper purple. Ignoring the nagging feeling that it was too easy she instead smiled at Gamzee, the exhausting and injury of her bruised body banishing in light of his agreement.

* * *

"Uh, I could stick you in this motherfucker's sylladex? Figure maybe you lil' humans got a better lung fest going on or something."

"No, I'd die. We can only hold our breath for a few minutes. John might be able to, but not me."

A annoyed grunt, "Well, ain't gonna be walkin' you out here. Too much yellin' and shit we ain't want."

"Not in plain view anyway," she grumbled. She'd felt such hope, for the briefest of moments, that she would escape but she'd stupidly thought with Gamzee's cooperation they could just walk out; however it seemed Gamzee was very uncertain and disliked the idea of getting caught as if he were a child plotting to go after a cookie jar which she couldn't really blame him. She'd been given a pair of shorts from Gamzee and she'd put them on and secured them around her waist with a length of fabric- even so they fell down past her shins. Her feet were thickly wrapped in more of the purple ribbon from his skull pile, matching her makeshift sling.

"So gotta be sneaky but kinda hard 'cause of you," Gamzee tapped a long talon on a tooth, "Gotta be sneaky and ain't gonna be doing that if I walk on out with you."

Jane paused in tying off the ribbon, eyeing Gamzee's immensely thick, bristly hair that hung down his back and just past his waist as he turned around.

" _Actually..._ "

* * *

It was a stupid plan but Jane had always been partial to stupid plans before and sometimes the most foolish had the advantage of being unexpected and thus potentially could work. So she decided to go through with it after some suggestion.

Therefore she was clinging to Gamzee's massive back like a limpet, her whole arm stretching up with fingers clenched tight on the back of his collar and anchoring herself there. Due to being literally half of Gamzee's side, she was completely obscured from view by his dense black hair and her legs were bent and splayed out slightly so her toes were resting on the top of his bone-studded belt. It was awkward, but Jane had always been one of the more physical strong of all the Game players so she bore it without complaint.

Gamzee rolled his shoulders and shifted a few times, twisting around and Jane winced, nose pressed in between his shoulder blades. 

"Okay," Jane said, voice muffled by the carpet of hair, "It has flaws but uh, we'll make do."

"This shit is kinda hilarious."

"I know but it's better than me dying in a sylladex. Hoo hoo!"

Gamzee laughed in response, loud and honking before he bulled forward and Jane instantly tensed her grip. She felt giddy and reckless, along with a feeling that _perhaps_ it could work. Sometimes the most unexpected plan could succeed and being spontaneous could work against the Empire. It'd done so before. Gamzee kept his stride long and easy and Jane kept herself as stable as she could. The hair was so thick she couldn't hear and couldn't see a single thing. It was a hilariously childish plan and she had to resist the urge to giggle. It had been some time since she'd genuinely laughed.

They passed some trolls, and Jane would tense but by and large Gamzee would simply return their friendly welcomes and continue on his way. The longer the con went on and she was undetected the more she began to buzz; she was fairly sure Gamzee's massive and old aura blanketed her own easily if she suppressed herself enough. She kept her own senses held tight within her own, taking care to keep it entirely within her self. The purples were psychic sensitive and she didn't want to trip one off by inadvertently brushing up against their minds with her Life sense.

"Gamzee," the voice was soft yet Jane could easily hear it through the dense coils of Gamzee's hair and she tensed.

She kept herself as flat and still as possible on Gamzee's back, breath calm and even.

"Ah, Koiboi! What the fuck up, bro? You all good?" the warmness of Gamzee's tone and words left little doubt this was a close friend of Gamzee's and she tightened her fingers on Gamzee's collar as he turned around fully. She had to remain hidden and falling off his back seemed like it would blow her cover. She bit her lip to prevent herself from giggling.

"Yes, I'm fine but I'm more concerned about you. I know you've been quite stressed from work, this your first invasion as our Highblood, and Hestia informed me of an altercation you had with Vulnus a few days ago and you haven't spoken to anyone since. This is the first time you've been out since then- Is everything alright?"

"Uh yeah. Just shit, ya know?" Jane grimaced as the Bard shrugged heavily, "Ain't really know why Occhio was into this shit, so much going on and makin' me tired like a fuck mother."

"What shit?"

"Uh, shit. You know, invasion shit. Kept on honkin' 'bout but like way more work and I ain't really all know what I'm doing."

"Well we're still here. Along with Priest, who is overseeing any potential new instillation with the Observer replacement." the other speaker, 'Koiboi', sighed, "How those little aliens got on here is quite a mystery. But I'm not just here for a welfare check, regardless how wonderful it is to see you, I have something for you."

"Ya do?"

"Yes. I started it when you became the new Grand Highblood, as something of an inauguration gift but I had some difficulties I would confess. I apologize for how long it took. I wanted it to be good."

"Oh, Hestia mentioned that. Kinda like in passin' noise as ya know with her."

A pause, then a very slow, "Did she?"

"Just ignore I said that shit, anyway what is it?"

"Here." There was some rustling movement and then Jane felt Gamzee moving slightly as he no doubt accepted whatever the other troll was offering him.

"It's pretty." Gamzee said after a moment of silence, "Soft as shit and feels nice too."

"It's from troll silk- I made it from part of my cocoon and various others that were gifted from molting. It's how I got all those purples, otherwise they're rare for obvious reasons."

Jane clung to Gamzee, feeling a mixture of impatience and exasperation as he started chatting amicably with his friend. Most of it seemed to revolve around this Koiboi's gift, which Jane guessed was some kind of tapestry or scarf or something from how they were talking but she couldn't be sure. Rose was the one interested in that kind of stuff, not Jane. The muscles on her arm were burning, so she risked using some of her Life to ease the burning and to also slide some into the thick muscles of Gamzee's neck. It made him start, loosing his part in the conversation as if he'd forgotten she was there.

"Oh! Anyway thanks for this soft-as-shit pretty shit, it's nice and good and soft but I all got stuff this fuck mother is gotta get his do on," Gamzee said quickly as he stowed away the gift, "But I ain't gonna say no to being up in each others jam later, ya know? I ain't even asking how you're doing."

"I'm fine, been very occupied. Things have been...eerie but I shall deal with it. I am gladdened you like my gift."

'Aw, you're a gift on ya on. But yea, gab at you later ya know?" 

"Of course. Take care, Gamzee."

To her relief they parted ways then, even if Jane thought carefully about the entire conversation she'd been privy to- that Koiboi was clearly a close friend with Gamzee, beyond the typical family bonds he held towards all the other clowns they'd passed. She wondered if Gamzee had told the troll about Sburb; would he believe the Bard? Jane didn't really know, considering how old the Empire was some trolls could have witnessed remarkable things over their lifetime even moreso if they kept historic records. She made a mental note to ask Gamzee about it later.

She was so distracted by her thoughts, suppressing her Life senses and clinging to Gamzee like a deranged koala she didn't even notice him entering a warp hub, something far different than the human one she'd moved through but all it took was a few words from Gamzee to a tall purpleblood and he hopped onto a warp which was a randomizer and in a hum and vortex of purple they were gone off the ship.

She barely had time to realize they were moving before a large hand gripped her wrist and Gamzee easily hauled her off his back and set her down on the ground. For a brief mad moment she was about to panic before she realized they were in a large hardware shop. Most of the equipment was strewn messily around the concrete floor and the front glass doors were shattered on the ground. The teleporter hummed and then the noise ceased as it powered down and Jane realized she was off the ship and on Earth. She was back on Earth.

"Alright, that wasn't a very good plan," Jane grinned ruefully, wrist aching as she flexed her fingers once she knew they were alone. Another part deep within whispered again it was all far too easy but Jane wasn't about to knock on wood and blithely ignored it.

Luckily she'd wrapped up her feet as she carefully crept across the store with Gamzee following her behind. He was oddly quiet despite the loud curious snuffling as he trailed her closely. Even so, she was tentative when she stepped by the broken shards strewn across the ground. As soon as she crossed into the abandoned car park she stopped, shivering while inhaling deeply.

_She was free._

Knowing that she'd escaped that horrid place made her shoulders finally unknot and she scrubbed at her face with her remaining hand, dashing away tears before they formed. Gamzee had to duck through the doorway to avoid bashing the frame with his horns and hovered at her back, expression unreadable.

After a long minute she finally regained her composure and when she did Jane squinted up at the sky, trying to figure out where on Earth she was. On one hand, luckily it was night so the stars were out in full force. On the other, she was terrible with anything to do with stars and thus couldn't recognize any of the constellations sparkling up in the swathe of black. 

"Fuck," she muttered.

"Eh?"

"I don't know where I am," she told him, "I don't even know what continent I'm on."

"Ain't you be knowing how to send a message to each other on where you about?"

"No, at least not without something- that evil little beast stole everything when I was a prisoner. I'll need to find something to call my family," Jane said, scowling around the empty car lot. She'd crossed the largest hurdle i.e getting out of the ship but that still didn't mean she was home free. She'd need to find technology, a teleporter or even just a communication device- no, that last one was too easily compromised if she couldn't verify the equipment. It was be far easier to find a teleporter and use the code to zap back to her family. She also wasn't sure if Gamzee would follow her for long.

But her most important thing was locating other humans so with that in mind she stopped, inhaling deeply and tried to calm herself down. It was difficult to reach a meditative state- or at least one akin to it -but eventually she'd settled down on the asphalt, eyes shut and breath mild. Trying to stretch out her Life sense while exhausted was painful but Jane ignored it as she tried to reach out for anything showing life.

To her surprise and delight she felt something that was too bright, large, to be animals and Jane instantly returned to herself to find Gamzee squatting on the ground with his face a few inches from her. She just blinked and then grinned.

"I think I found some friends."

"Or maybe this fuck mothers?"

"Could be. They're a fair distance," she looked up, frowning slightly, "How long was I meditating."

"'Bout an hour," Gamzee said, "Wondered if you were sleepin' but ya mind was inching about all over." 

"Ah yes, sorry. I usually don't, but getting into a meditative state can be difficult considering. But regardless, I've found something- or hopefully someone. Seems there's still more people in this town, but it's up in the hills," Jane said, getting to her feet.

Without further comment she took off, moving at a quick jog that jostled her arm and breasts. She inwardly cursed for not putting her bra back on, especially when they crossed the car lot and up along the road toward the treeline. However her elation quickly turned into irritation as they spent longer and longer hiking through the wilderness in search of the Life she'd sensed. The forestry was thick and lush, with bark slick with moss and vines tangled around everything. She stumbled and fell several times, movements all the more awkward due to her missing hand.

Gamzee sniffed heavily behind her the next time she tripped before gently nudging her shoulder, "You okay, sis? Can give you an arm carry with worries none."

She was tempted to accept, as she still felt lethargic from her clinging to Gamzee for so long and the forest floor was covered in twigs and stones which dug into the achingly sensitive soles of her feet even if they were entangled in fabric. However she could sense Life flitting at the edge of her exhausted senses that made her all but certain there were humans- or maybe trolls -nearby, and if they _were_ humans it was very likely they would get the wrong idea if they found Jane being carried by the Grand Highblood; she didn't want Gamzee to attack and thus potentially cause a massive incident over a misunderstanding. She wanted to keep Gamzee, keep him safe in response for him saving her.

So she gritted her teeth and shook her head, "No thank you. I have...I have to keep going on foot. I think there are people here. Gamzee, can you be inconspicuous?"

He nodded, "Yup, ain't fazed. Can be sneaky as shit so you can gab with them other little stardust motha fucks."

"I'll try to explain to them you're a...friend," she said diplomatically, "Then hopefully they'll understand. I need their aid."

Gamzee just nodded again before disappearing among the dense mossy trees; for someone so huge he was eerily quiet when he wanted to, barely a rustle of leaves and shifting branches to show his departure. 

It only took her a minute before she stumbled upon one of the other people and to her relief they were indeed a group of humans even if the lead woman immediately held up a pistol to Jane's head when she stumbled across her. The woman watched Jane with suspicious eyes, but Jane raised her hand in a gesture of nonviolence.

Jane could see various scars marring her dark skin, long claw marks on his forearms and an ugly, slowly healing burn on her jawbone and stretching towards her throat. Otherwise she was covered in dense clothing camouflaged with leaves, mud and twigs to help her blend in with the surrounding flora. Her black hair was been pulled back in a tight braid, leaving her face free but smeared with dirt and lines of stress. A long machete was strapped to her waist.

"Who are you?" the woman demanded, voice barely above a whisper and gun steady.

Jane pursed her lips, noting that there were other Life forces carefully surrounding her. She wasn't afraid of being attacked but didn't want to aggravate her potential allies with aggression or arrogance so she carefully spread out her whole hand and gestured down her body to show the lack of weapons, her other still bound in its makeshift splint. 

"I'm not here as an enemy," Jane said.

"Then why _are_ you here?" she snapped, eyes narrowing.

It took Jane several seconds to fit the woman's accent and face with a name and when she did, Jane jolted back in surprise before saying, "Wait, you're the prime minister of New Zealand, aren't you? Um, Huia?" The woman undoubtedly had a last name but Jane couldn't for the life of her remember it in that moment.

The woman looked surprised at being addressed by name, "Why yes I am- how do you know me?"

"I'm Jane Crocker, I'm head of-"

"Wait, really?" the other woman interrupted, "Weren't you captured? I heard rumours about your disappearance. Not to say I'm not glad that you actually are alive or anything. What are you doing out here?"

Jane's lips pressed into a thin line; she should've assumed her capture had leaked somewhat. She and many of her family would try to help the fighting and boost morale whenever they could, Jane especially considering her status as CEO of Crocker Corp, so her sudden vanishing from the front lines or indeed anywhere would have no doubt sparked the rumour mill. An annoying thing, still.

"Yes well I'm fine. I was captured but I escaped and am trying to make my way back. Do you happen to have a teleporter handy that I can use?"

"Sorry, Ms. Crocker, but can't help you on that front," Huia said with a shrug. Her posture changed, shifting from coiled-tight tension to at ease even if she kept a hand resting on the handle of her machete but nonetheless used her other hand to tuck away the pistol.

"Please just call me Jane," she said, "I'm not exactly in my CEO position right now and we can toss formalities out the window."

"Alright, Jane, as long as you just call me Huia."

She grinned slightly, "Alright. But back to the matter- do you have a teleporter?"

"No, our base is mainly just a camping ground we took over. We can take you there, get you some clothes." Huia's eyes flicked down to Jane's bare legs, "Ones that would fit better, either way."

"That sounds lovely, lead the way please."

* * *

The camp was indeed an old camping ground, as Jane could see the picnic table and old stone stove on one end but ultimately it was overwhelmed by the various shelters and shipping crates set up in the bare camping area and inching into the tree line. There were quite a few people in the camp, working in a quiet and calm manner. She could tell from their movements and even their stances they'd been in prolonged combat and fighting- probably from the first days of the invasion. Despite the almost solemn air in the camp there was no despair or anxiety within the atmosphere of the troops, even if Jane guessed many weren't trained soldiers. The mandatory Strife sessions imposed globally didn't really count in Jane's eyes but it left her with a warm glow of satisfaction in knowing Rose's idea had saved many lives. She shuddered to think what would've happened otherwise.

At the camp Huia was greeted warmly, and she wasted no time in presenting Jane with a spare set of clothes. Jane, grateful for a fitting garment, changed into them without complaint. It was typical attire, black shirt, camouflaged jacket, hiking pants and thick leather boots. The socks were comfortable enough they provided a soft layer between the boots and her sensitive feet, to which Jane was pleased. She was getting fed up with her feet but it was partially her own fault for healing them in such a sloppy manner. She just despised burn wounds, they were such an ugly lingering pain.

Huia was eating a plate of saveloys on the old picnic table, chomping on the red sausages without bothering for utensils. She gave a grunted greeting when Jane joined her, and Jane quickly waved off a proffered saveloy.

"Suit yourself but you eat when you can." Huia said with a shrug, "But you should eat when you can, even if its the same stuff over and over."

"I've already eaten. Thank you for the clothes."

"It's not an issue, we have spares."

"Either way, I'm still grateful. Now, considering who you are I assume this is New Zealand?"

Huia blinked at her before swallowing down her bite of saveloy and saying, "Indeed it is. You're on the South Island, following up the coast by highway one."

Jane hummed. It was quite a fair way from where her family's mousehole was but if she got her hands on a teleporter than it was no issue. Finding a working one was another problem however and she needed to resolve it as soon as she could. She doubted the New Zealanders had one at their base, considering the power needed behind a teleporter hub and even the portable ones let off enough energy it would easily be tracked by a psionic. Besides, this was a guerilla camp.

"Are we near a town? Are there any working teleporters there?" Jane asked, "As you may have noticed, I'm not exactly in an ideal state and need to return to base quickly." she glanced down at the stump of her left hand.

Nodding Huia pushed herself up from the picnic table, licking off some spots of tomato sauce before saying, "I can show you where the town is and we can discuss tactics- keeping idle or in one spot is asking for trouble from those scum so we've going to be moving camp soon, and we were going to do a raid before we ran into you on account of getting new supplies yesterday. But the town has various teleporters but all but a few have been destroyed, either by the aliens or our own forces. The one I know for certain is working it one down near the sea wall, where the aliens usually loiter."

"I don't mind a scuffle," Jane said, "As long as you can point me in the right direction."

"Then let's go. I just came for a snack anyway- we're burning moonlight."

* * *

Huia and her group made their way through the dense forest in a spread out arrow formation; Jane noted they didn't take any defined trails and aptly guessed it was to avoid allowing the trolls to find specific paths back to their base of operation. From Huia's earlier words, Jane wondered if she'd been staying completely in the various forests that dotted New Zealand rather than making use of their mouseholes. It could be a mixture of both options but she hadn't missed the vehemence in the woman's words when she snapped at Jane over the assumption she should be somewhere safe. Jane couldn't fault her, wouldn't fault her, for that attitude.

To push her mind away from it Jane inhaled deeply, savouring the smell of nature as she walked. Various animals flitted at the edge of her senses and she took comfort in the flickering flames of their Life; it proved that regardless of the state of Earth while the trolls ravaged it life would stubbornly continue to go on. The small group of humans glowed brightly among the smaller pulses of Life and Jane could easily track them, along with Gamzee's burning Life force as he flitted closer to the group and she relaxed with the assurance he was still near- she'd assumed he would have left as soon as he knew she was with her own kind again but that didn't seem to be the case. 

The New Zealanders were quiet as they zig-zagged through the forest and Jane tried her best to mimic them; most of her fighting had been in cities, so the sudden shift to wild nature was a bit jarring but she made do even with a missing hand. She was tempted to heal herself but she was still weakened from her fight with the Priestormentors, her torture at the hands of the sadistic little Dcotorturer, and then her very short recovery with Gamzee before leaving, and she knew she'd have to fight trolls before she could reach the teleporter- she could hope otherwise, but wasn't foolish enough to assume she'd simply be able to waltz in and get back to her family. They would be guarding it and she wanted to have enough energy to fight them sufficiently enough to key in her code and use it for her own gain.

Still, lacking a hand would be a pain but she'd make do.

"I don't want to alarm you but there's an extremely large troll right behind you," Huia's voice was low and the woman slunk closer to her side. 

Jane blinked, having momentarily forgotten that Gamzee had crept through the underbrush and she hastened to reassure Huia, "It's fine, he helped me escape. He won't hurt you or any of your companions. I take responsibility for him."

Huia's obviously didn't believe her not nonetheless dipped her head down slightly. It was a testament to the authority she wield as CEO and inwardly Jane hoped the woman knew how to keep mum on an issue. Despite that her eyes darted over to where Gamzee's monstrous silhouette which flitted among the trees. Thankfully Huia was the only soldier close to Jane and none of the others seemed to have noticed Gamzee who was doing a remarkable job of keeping himself hidden- Jane wondered if he was using his chucklevoodoos to hide himself, or at least influence the humans perception. 

There was another minute of making their way down the hills and winding tree trunks before Jane said, "Forgive me, but I don't really know where we are. Well, beyond your country and we're by one of the highways."

"We're just a few miles out from the town of Kaikoura- the aliens have a base set up in the town."

"Why? Is there crucial information or hostages?" Jane asked, perking up alert.

The prime minister gave a short bark of laughter, "Hardly. From our spying and raids we've found out they've taken over the town because they like crayfish. They're a stable food in that place, I've visited myself."

"Crayfish? They're...like lobster, aren't they?"

"Yup. Apparently those cold blooded scum like the taste and the shells. They've been pulling up the crayfish in the area."

Of all the things the Empire could be doing in New Zealand, poaching crustaceans wasn't one she would've guessed. Then again the highest of all castes for the trolls were seadwellers so it did make sense they'd be partial to seafood. 

"Is there a teleporter in the town?" Jane asked after another minute of silence.

"Yeah, but the aliens are all over the place. There's near three dozen I would guess and from what they've done to the place I think they're also going to use it as a communication or spy link alongside their crayfish thievery. I think for location they picked it for the food and then realized they actually had to do work and couldn't just lounge around stuffing their faces all day."

"So you've come in contact? How have you been able to direct your forces if that's the case?" Jane eyed the other woman, watching Huia's face intently. She had been gone for not even a week yet in a time of global war all information was critical to alert her to the current state of the resistance.

"Some," Huia admitted, lip curling down, "They have one of those red-and-blue eyed aliens with the weird technological influence who keeps on letting out EMP blasts that short circuits any of our tech so we've been mainly communicating through smoke signals, messenger pigeons and interpretive dance. So we've been fighting without real communication with the outside beyond the stray bird or runner who finds us. The real issue in their makeshift base down there is the tall one with the fins," Huia jerked her chin in the direction of the town.

"Fins?"

"Fins like a fish and wears all white while bossing the other aliens around. That one has been an ass, as it seems to catch us a lot easier than the others- quicker too."

"An admiral." Gamzee's low voice caused all the humans besides Jane to tense and the Maid glanced over her shoulder at him. He was close enough he was nearly stepping on her heels but otherwise she hardly even noticed.

"An admiral? Are they important?" Jane asked, "At least in terms of the Empire hierarchy?"

He shrugged, "I guess? They only report to Condy so figured they're some high-up shit even though I met that bunch and they scream and whine like fuckin' wigglers."

Huia made a low noise, dark eyes watching Gamzee warily but accepting his words, "It would explain why its being such a pain in the ass, if its one of the high-ranked scum. There's a few other of those finned ones, but only one dressed in white that seems to boss all the others around."

"That'd be the admiral," Gamzee said softly. He looked like something from a horror movie, lurking in the darkness between the thick mossy trees and plantlife with his bulky form cast in deep shadows from the night and silhouette seeming more otherworldly, beastial, among the foliage. His reflective cat-like eyes gleamed as they shined whenever a brief slice of moonlight managed to peek in from the dense leaves and tree branches.

Jane didn't notice or care about his appearance, instead flashing him a smile, "Well at least it gives us a rough idea of what we've potentially dealing with. Huia, can you tell me more about the town? And why are you, personally, out here with such a small force? Can you help me?"

Huia's expression hardened, "Kaikoura was one of their bases we found while scouring the forest for survivors- they've been situated in Wellington before they finally seemed to get it through their heads we'd abandoned it. After all, making the capital of your country the hub for resistance is foolish but still they tried looking through the city until it was pretty obvious we weren't there. Also I made it very clear when that wolf-girl came that I would not leave. My deputy prime minister went with her as a backup in case I was killed but I refused because my place was here, defending my country and the people. I will stay here and fight until those filth are all dealt with."

"I know and I'm not criticizing you," Jane said quietly, "I just need to get back to my people as well, because they are currently working under the assumption I am dead and I can't risk using an insecure channel to them. Also I need to..." she hesitated, blue eyes flicking back to where Gamzee was and Huia frowned slightly.

"...I see. Either way, those alien bastards are overdue for a raid and they get complacent extremely quickly. Arrogant bastards. We can use that to our advantage."

"I can handle the admiral if he gets in my way," Jane said, "Even if it's just for a moment. I simply need to reach the teleporter. I could...I could try killing him but in my injured state I'm not quite sure I would win," she finished, ruefully looking down at her missing hand. 

Huia didn't even blink, "Good, because we've been watching them for some time and have several shipments of dried ice ready for another push."

"You do?"

"Yup. Those big finned ones _really_ don't like dried ice and that group down there? They stole nearly a dozen crates of pineapple lumps that had been heading to Auckland for relief from Christchurch. We'll be able to kill two birds with one stone if we combine efforts- the raid can be a means for you to reach the teleporter and for us to retrieve the pineapple lumps since it was already planned in advance so we can use you," Huia said, a gleam jumping up in her dark brown eyes.

"Agreed- in terms of numbers, you said there was three dozen?"

"Or so. Some leave but on the whole there's that most consistent number. The ship they arrived in is out in the sea around a mile, which I would guess they thought was more inconspicuous than parking it directly over the town. The seals let us know where it was, though, as they avoided the whole place like the plague. But yeah most aren't a problem as we've been staying up in the hills above the town which is situated between the forest and the sea, so we can spy on them a lot easier than they can on us. Most aren't much of a problem and we can fight them off but that finned one, an 'admiral' as your...friend said, is the one who's becoming a pain in the ass. It has a rifle or some such weapon that the projectiles that explode on contact in this big white fire. At the rate its throwing them around, it doesn't even really need to be accurate as the explosions can knock you right on your ass."

Jane nodded along with Huia's words; she was still fairly unused to the hierarchy among the Empire and how that all fit in considering Gamzee's words and the thing that _had_ made him cooperate was the assurance she meant his Church no harm. Clearly he valued the Church more than the Empress which gladdened her but Jane was unsure if that mean he was willing to attack an admiral. She hoped, but she wasn't so stupid as to stake everything on that most-like-misguided hope. She was already pushing it with having Gamzee with her and for all she knew he'd just stand by and do nothing while she got massacred. 

_To hell with that,_ she thought crankily. She'd deal with that when, or indeed if, it happened.

"Luckily enough we have a scattered population," Huia was saying, "Honestly our whole country is a smaller number than New York's population but in terms of warfare it's a boon in thus predicament. We've been fairly ignored in the larger scheme of things as the majority of aliens seem to originate from that ship parked out in the sea. We've theorized that killing that finned one who's ordering all the others around will destabilize a large portion of the aliens, but getting close enough for a killing blow is impossible right now." 

With a hum Jane nodded; the situation was unfortunate but salvageable. Huia was clearly ready for another strike at the occupational force on the town and Jane felt her belly clench with anticipation about the news of a working teleporter. Soon she'd be back with her family, her father. Her missing hand twinged painfully.

"Alright," Jane said after a long beat of silence, "Do you have a plan in mind?"

"Of a sort. We're going to be mainly focusing on the pineapple lumps that we need but the admiral is a right pain in the ass. However if you are confident,you are more than welcome to occupy the admiral- that way you'll be able to pinpoint the location of the teleporter since you're unfamiliar with the town and it'll give us enough time to locate the shipping crates. With that done and you've lured the admiral away from the sea, we'll do a counter strike with some dried ice. It'll distract it enough you'll be able to use the teleporter and get out of there."

"Sounds fair. But you mentioned there was usually a group?"

"Sometimes," Huia admitted, "However usually when we start doing sneak attacks on them the finned one will make them go do a sweep through the forest while it stays in the town. They're fairly spread out usually anyway, even if they typically congregate back at the town every couple of days but on the whole they don't like mobbing up together or they'll be in the ship cast off in the ocean or pulling up crayfish. Either way, my group will start off with some attacks- when we've lured them away, you can attack the admiral and take it from there."

"I...appreciate it, but are you sure this is wise? I don't want to put you or your people in harms way for my sake," Jane said.

Huia flashed her a smile that was all teeth, "We can handle it. We've been stuck in guerilla warfare with these cold-blooded fucks from the get go, and regardless due to how New Zealand is shaped as an island surrounded by open sea even in the army we're taught with more evasiveness and sneak than just straight up fighting. We know our strengths and we've lived this long- we don't plan on dying any time soon. So don't worry about us. You just focus on getting to the town and putting a foot up that fish's ass." 

* * *

That was how Jane found herself at the edge of the town alone barring the Bard, sneaking through the thinning trees. If there was one thing she was pleased about, it was how saturated with forests New Zealand was so it was far easier to get closer to a township than it would be in other countries. The weather was also mild, clear and calm despite an occasional brisk wind that would playfully tug at her hair, and it let the moon stream down unobstructed. While the moonlight meant Jane had no ease in seeing, it also meant the trolls would be able to see her just as easily but they were nocturnal by default so she didn't care.

Gamzee had joined her shortly, prowling up to her with silent steps. Jane, already knowing of his approach due to the burning aura of his Life, flashed him a quick smile. She was gladdened by the fact he'd chosen to stay, despite both of them knowing he could've left when she'd found other humans. He seemed to be willing to go with her until he was sure she was safe, but there was obvious unease in his stance when he halted next to her. She reached out with her hand and gently touched his forearm, feeling the dense muscle beneath the pitch black skin. 

"Sis, I ain't thinking this is good," he said slowly.

"Is it the admiral?" Jane asked him, worried, "I'm not asking you to fight him. I'm just..." she trailed off, biting her lip. What _was_ she asking? She wasn't quite sure. She selfishly wanted to keep Gamzee, but she knew he loved his family of violent space clowns and wished to protect them- she'd only managed to convince him to take her so far because she'd essentially manipulated him, using his sense of protection and love to compel him to help her, even if a niggling part of her was certain he knew what she'd been up to in the first place.

"You're gonna fight that fishfuck down there, ain't you?" it wasn't really a question, and Gamzee continued before she could answer, "Now not making noise that you can't get a kick and an ass on, but figured a finned brother isn't gonna be real sweet 'bout it. Them only answer to Condy, so not weak shit."

Jane nodded slowly, understanding that Gamzee was expressing concern but she answered with, "I know but I will still try. I'm still Godtier, Gamzee. That counts for something. The fact I'm still alive is proof. I won't let whoever that bastard is stop me. I don't care if I have to brain them with my severed arm, I don't care if I kill them them my teeth- I'm going back home." she took a deep breath, struggling to control her sudden spike of fury, "And if...and if you don't wish to help me, then I understand. We can part ways here. You've already done so much for me-"

"No!" Gamzee's sudden snap made her jump, "I ain't, made a promise and that shit is to be kept. Told you I would be on until you find that blood ties of your own that you got torn asunder from and I'm keepin' that shit. Couldn't keep anythin' else but can keep that."

She paused, before nodding, "Alright then."

"Good, good." Gamzee's bristling vanished as quickly as it appeared, eyes shifting away from her, "Just makin' sure you know I ain't bein' a liar. Not..." he trailed off, expression growing distant. 

Jane had no idea what he was thinking of but there was something deeply intense in his face. His vehement assurance over his promises made her wonder- had he promised before to aid the Cherubs? It would explain why he was adamant that she believe him now and grew angry if she doubted him. For all his differences, from her probing after his reveal he was the one who raised Calliope and Caliborn he clearly still loved them and regretted the fact they'd died. She hadn't been a parent so she couldn't exactly empathize with his feelings which were intently his own but obviously it was a deep hurt he carried still a decade later. And if the Church did truly foster an environment where they cared deeply for one another- or at least for their bloodcaste -then it was little wonder Gamzee flourished in such an environment. He had been, above all, loyal and devout. An environment which cultivated and cherished those two traits so highly were no doubt the area Gamzee always belonged. 

But in that moment Jane was unsure what Gamzee was specifically focused on, on why he'd reacted that way. What was she to him? He risked leaving the Church for her but in her own words he wasn't betraying the Church. None of the Tenants he ascribed to labeled his act as treason, as Jane had made it very clear her main target was the Condesce who apparently had no say in the Church matters. And despite her own yearning to get back home, she didn't want Gamzee to get killed over her sake but she was still deeply ignorant over the Church and how it functioned and she figured the Authority wouldn't be pleased with his actions if they found out. Gamzee had agreed to help her but why was a large question and she couldn't exactly read his thoughts to understand why he chose to do so.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Jane finally said, "Very well." She wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all.

With that in mind- and a part of her greatly cherished Gamzee's continual guardianship - Jane skulked out of the treeline and stealthily made her way down the road towards the town centre. Gamzee followed her and as before she was still surprised by how quiet he could be. When they'd been back in his room on the Subjugglator flagship his footsteps had been mostly obvious, no effort made to conceal his frame or bulk. Now he followed by at the edge of her vision and if not for her Life sense easily picking up his smoldering Life force and the flicker of wild hair and the edge of a hand or foot at the corner of her eye. Otherwise she wouldn't have even noticed him following her and when she glanced back a second time he was gone, even if she could feel his Life force as he skulked through the buildings back towards the tree line.

She wasn't sure if she was upset or sad but as she continued to walk she could feel his Life sense adjacent to her and realized he was trailing her just out of sight. It relieved her, somewhat, even if she knew he most likely wouldn't intervene when she attacked the admiral- or rather if. But Jane felt as if it was a forgone conclusion.

The township was silent but even so Jane could see numerous signs of intense battle, the air heavy with loss and anticipation. She couldn't hear any sound of fighting and knew the majority of humans had left to the underground cities spanning the island with the remaining force scattered and wily. Even so if she stretched out her Life sense to its fullest in her exhausted state she could sense the flames of the New Zealanders as they prowled around towards the seaside part of the town where Huia had told Jane where the teleporter was. 

With that in mind she sniffed, catching the salty whiff of the sea and she changed her trajectory slightly. In the moonlight everything looked slick and clear, the chill of the night breeze toying with her hair and drying her lips. The soles of her feet still ached but the thick socks and boots given to her helped cushion her footfalls and the sensitivity. 

_Kilroy & Chad were here,_ was scrawled across the side of one abandoned shop in glittery green ink, framed by faded stickers of flowers and ponies. A car had been driven through the front window of the shop and a troll's rotting body had been pinned to the bonnet with a plethora of spears and a broadsword. The further she got into the town the more she could see evidence of fighting. There were quite a few human remains but also a fair amount of troll corpses littering the street. One had even been strung up by a long length of skipping rope from a flagpole and embedded with dozens of darts.

Then the admiral appeared.

Some _thing_ came screaming forth from the tip of the wand, something serpentine with a gaping maw of a mouth and jagged wings. It screeched towards her with a noise like a straining jet engine and she barely had time to hurl herself to the left to avoid being shorn in half by the shrieking creature. It stuck the wall behind her and exploded in a cornucopia of brilliant white that caused the ground to shake. Jane rolled back up to her feet, blue eyes burning as she eyed the tall troll who was standing on top of a dilapidated remains of a shop; the white outfit and billowing cape left Jane little doubt this was the admiral Huia described, the seadweller in command of the troll ship lurking out at sea like a submarine.

Her Life sense at least assured her that it was only her and the admiral- she didn't count Gamzee's pulsating Life force lurking to the back, as she knew he would stay out of it. As it was the admiral seemed focused on Jane, ignoring one of the resistant members who crept around the side to one of the shipping crates nearly five blocks upwards and catchalogging it before darting back to safety. Jane quickly moved, keeping the seadweller's attention on her. She could see the glow of the teleporter through the windows of one of the seaside shops ahead as she rounded the road curve, looking battered but still functional; no doubt the trolls had assumed anyone stupid enough to use the teleporter would stumble directly into a troll-controlled area and thus felt not reason to deactivate it. However it was at a distance enough the admiral had a high chance of shooting her and she felt horrifically assured the creature that he'd shot at her have been an angel.

"Oi, get your ass back to the hole you crawled from," the admiral suddenly called out, shifting his posture so he one hand on his hip like a nagging mother. The other held the still glowing wand, resting casually against his thigh.

"Get off my planet," she snarled, clenching her remaining hand into a fist. She didn't care if she was injured, she would give that stroppy alien a what-for if he decided to be trouble.

He stared down at her with a sneer and Jane noted the glasses perked on his nose. That, combined with the ridiculous streak of violet in his hair, made him looking weirdly nerdish despite the dual facial scars slicing across one half of his face. His elaborate fins were flared out wide and angry, reminding her of a bristling cat. She eyed the seadweller carefully, knowing better than to judge him solely on his appearance-he would have to be tough to become an admiral and she had little doubt he'd kill her at the first opportunity.

In a strange flourish the wand he was holding vanished in a burst of sparkling motes and ribbons of light. He hopped off the roof of the shop, landing on his feet with a frown on his face. She glared back, assuming he'd figured her, a crippled lone human, would be easy enough to subdue he wouldn't even need to use his wand. As it was he drew the long cutlass belted at his waist, the golden handle glinting with violet jewels in the moonlight. He looked oddly fitting in that moment, his back to the restless sea where the waves crested silver, long jagged cape fluttering behind him like a crow's wings and glasses shining like mirrors.

However just because he looked pretty didn't mean Jane wasn't going to kick his ass- or at least give it a hell of a go. She had to stall after all.

The admiral approached her with insolent ease, every stride fluid and nonchalant with his cape billowing. Jane didn't wait for him.

With a quick movement she jolted to the side and seized the front bumper of the burnt out husk of a car and, with a single heave, hurled the vehicle right at the admiral. He was caught off guard but reacted quickly enough, shearing through the car's frame with a flourish, the blade of his cutlass letting out a hideous screeching noise as it cut through the metal. She threw another car, right after the other, before sprinting past him and down the road. The asphalt was smooth and surprisingly undamaged for a troll-occupied town as she ran. Luckily the scream of the angel's were immensely loud and she could sense the brilliant flare of his aura when he fired one off- which gave her a good idea of where he was aiming with the beasts as he pursued her.

Despite that she made sure to fling herself far out of the way, knowing the angel wings could slice someone in half easily and the impact explosion could take off a limb if she wasn't careful. She was already missing a hand, she didn't need to add a leg to the list. The sheer force of the angels caused her to flinch each time the admiral fired at her- something about his aim was strange but considering the sheer collateral of the angels meant he didn't have to overly care about being accurate. As it was, she got pelted with flying bits of debris whenever an angel blew up something and twice she had to yank up a forearm to avoid getting an eye punctured by a flying shard of metal and the skin of her face grew heated.

The explosions, and the admiral's shouting, seemed overly loud in the deserted township and Jane took advantaged of the various vehicles and shops left behind though they would explode if one of the shrieking specters collided with them. Then the admiral bounded past and she wouldn't have even noticed if not for his Life sense blurring ahead of her. She sensed more than saw him spring up lithe and silent onto a arching street light ahead of her. Jane instantly veered behind the gutted remains of a minivan, glaring through the blackened window to see the admiral balanced on one foot on the top of the light post a few yards in front of her.

Even from the distance the lenses of his glasses gleamed like ice in the moonlight and Jane mentally calculated all weapons within reach- the van, certainly, but he would be able to dodge it. If she could snag him midair however, regardless of his size advantage over her, she could punch him and knock him off his bearings long enough for her to run. She was close, she was certain, to the place where the only working teleporter was even if getting shot at made her momentarily loose her bearings. She just needed to get the admiral out of the way before he decided to blow it sky high. Her gaze flickered to the street light he was balancing on, ignoring the way he was shooing his hands at her from his perch. She could use that.

With that in mind she flashstepped and Jane punched the street light with her whole hand, bending the metal and forcing the admiral to leap out of the way. She didn't wait form him to catch his bearings, instead tearing the street light completely out of the pavement and using the thing like a bat. She clipped the admiral mid-jump and sent him hurling towards the seaside playground. He snagged the railing of the brightly coloured slide and spun around midair to land on the edge of the park. Dropping the street light- trying to swing it one handedly was irritatingly hard -she quickly darted around the back of one of the buildings. The admiral she could sense still out by the park but there was something wildly _off_ about his Life force. At least it made him easy to track, as she could sense him moving back towards the tiny township while she crept around the rear of the buildings. Inwardly she thanked the New Zealand rebel group for giving her boots, as while the soles of her feet still ached, it was far more preferable than running around with bare feet while there was ample glass shards and broken stones everywhere.

She heard the admiral say something, his voice easily heard through the stillness as he stalked across the road. Jane ignored his words, which from his tone she could gather wasn't particularly nice, and instead tried to keep Huia's words in mind where the teleporter was, where she'd spied it so briefly before. She was a willing distraction and she just had to keep the admiral occupied sufficiently enough they could get in position. Luckily the arrogance of the admiral worked in their favour; he seemed to be the only one in the seaside town, as stretched as her Life senses were, but the oddness of his Life force concerned her. However since it was so different, so _loud_ , that the admiral might as well be hollering through a bullhorn for all the difficulty Jane had in tracking him.

The building at the end suddenly imploded in a shriek of white tendrils, the blast leaving an after mirage pulsing in her eyes. She swatted aside a flying piece of debris before it could brain her and she felt a spike in Gamzee's Life force from where he was still lurking up in the forest above the town adjacent to her. She tried to radiate ease through herself, knowing Gamzee would be able to pick it up with his psychics- she's always found the Subjugglators abilities to detect her probing via her Life sense infuriating before but now it was convenient to communicate with Gamzee.

But with that mind Jane suddenly flashstepped across the ground, appearing right in front of the admiral. Up close, he was far taller than she was but she didn't let that deter her as she punched him hard in the stomach, his block an instant too slow. Her blow sent him flying back but he just somersaulted midair. Jane didn't wait for him to regain his bearings, instead instantly sprinting for the shop that housed her escape the second after she'd struck him. Thankfully her punch had sent him off onto the beach front so when he tried shooting at her the angel struck the cracked stairs leading down from the walkway and exploded them before it could fly across the road.

Leaping through the doorway she landed with a puff of dust right next to the teleporter's console attached to the adjacent wall. With quick movements she punched in the long complicated sequence of numbers until she heard the teleporter hum to life behind her, the blue glow spreading through the musty air as it powered up. She was distracted by a spike of Rage from Gamzee, which felt like blast of fire at the edge of her Life sense and she looked over to see the tall admiral tear the broken door of the shop right off, hurling it behind him before pointing the glowing point of his wand directly at her.

Jane was about to leap forward again, prepared to punch him in the gut and send him flying before he could explode both her and the teleporter but before he could fire off his weapon Gamzee suddenly landed with a thunderous crash right next to the seadweller.

She saw the admiral twist his neck around to glare at the Bard and shout, "Gamz, what the _fuck_ -" before Gamzee smacked him. 

It was hardly a powerful blow, as Gamzee seemed to have slapped the admiral rather than punch or strike him with a club, but there was still enough force to knock the admiral right off his feet and it caused his final shot to glance wide. However he was so close to Jane the wings of the angel he shot off still grazed Jane's side, searing through the shirt and effortlessly burning the skin which made her scream in pain before the angel shrieked further into the shop and exploded the entire end wall with a dull roar.

It felt as if an iron-hot poker had seared through the skin, fat and tissue of her side and the hideous smell of burnt meat rose in the air. Jane nearly fainted from the pain, collapsing onto the ground. She tried to steady her fall with her hands but the movement twisted the muscles of her burnt side and with a cry of agony she fell onto her uninjured side. It was the same one as her missing hand and she sightlessly clawed at the ground. She could _hear_ the humming of the active teleporter, promising escape and she groped around uselessly in an effort to grab onto the edge; all she needed to so was drag herself onto the pad and it would lock onto her genetic signature. However those few inches seemed so far away, with the severe burn on her side paralyzing her from pain; the wound had burnt a fair amount of skin away, from below her ribs down just past her hipbone and had ruined the flesh and fat beneath. If she had been in any way coherent, she would've seen the burnt edge of her lowest rib poking through the melted fatty tissue as the rancid reek of burnt flesh rose in the air but as it was she was trying to batter past the agony to crawl across the floor to the teleporter pad, groping blindly with her missing hand and body spasming from the pain.

She was in too much pain, too incoherent, to pay attention to the brawl going on outside, even if the two trolls were essentially handling each other with kid gloves. The seadweller was angrily gesturing towards Jane with his fins flared wide, who was trying to crawl forward on a hand she'd forgotten was missing, before Gamzee grabbed the admiral by his collar and hurled him across the street; he landed nimbly back on his feet and was about to flourish his wand when a small container of dried ice struck him in the forehead and burst on his head, which sufficiently distracted him. 

Gamzee went through the doorway- bursting it right off its hinges in an explosion of dust and splinters -and hovered over her in concern, seeing the clear fluid seeping from the melting fat and burnt flesh on her side, along with her pathetic attempts to get to the teleporter.

Unfortunately for him, when he bent down and picked her up with a worried look wrought into his features, he backed up a step which planted him squarely on the teleporter pad. Instantly it picked up on her DNA, regardless of the fact she was being held by a troll, and with a burst of light and blue sparks the two were gone.

* * *


	38. Rites

* * *

It was inching near a week after Jane had been stolen and there was still no word beyond a hand.

Rose hated that severed hand and its mocking, snide message. She wanted to kill the Condesce, kill that Vulnus character, and kill the whole Empire along with them.

However they couldn't help Jane if they died in a glorious burst of revenge-fueled violence so Rose stamped down on those urges as much as she could. Instead she quickly slid into supporting roles, going out in the field armed with Echidna's needles to provide back up and help in more delicate operations. It was a way to preoccupy herself and Jade had made her promise to not wallow. They'd both promised.

She'd taken to rubbing her thumb across her engagement ring; the silver-threaded stone always brought her a rush of affection whenever the Seer looked at it and the image of Jade would swirl within her mindseye.

_I love her._

While it was likely they would die, both of the women had promised to keep the wedding until after the war was concluded. Whether that involved the Condesce dying or the entirety of the troll race dying, was still up to their long lost fellow Game players. A part of Rose hated them for their cowardice, for running away and letting humanity deal with their failures. She would be able to force a civil front but a gnarled part of Rose would never forgive the trolls.

For Nepeta and Equius, she could make an exception as the two had suffered terribly at the hands of their own allies. She would reread the parts of Equius being so matter of fact over Nepeta's capture and how he was intentionally being kept in the dark over it, and by the time the Rogue was saved she was damaged beyond repair. Rose could forgive them for that but the others she was more vindictive. It was a part of her made cold over the years, made as sharp and icy as a blade, a byproduct of a horrible Game that killed her childhood more than an alcoholic mother ever could.

Even so it took a few years to forgive her mother but it had happened. The trolls were different, it had not preordained her death and SBURB but rather than them intentionally stepping back. She also blamed them, a fair bit, for Jane's fate.

Rose still couldn't See through the war, or how it would end. Rose was unsure if it was because there were so many Aspects running about, wondering if even Equius and Roxy were the cause due to being Void players. But either way both Jade and Rose had agreed to postpone the wedding until after the conclusion of the war, as something to look forward to and to see a brighter future.

It helped whenever she was confronted with the evils of the trolls. The mission she'd returned from only an hour before had been awful. It had been at the request of a Sister Maggie from an overrun abbey, where she and her fellow nuns had survived a month-long siege of their abbey and even killed an admiral from a well-placed crucifix through the head and killed dozen other trolls before being forced to flee. However the roving band of nuns had remained vigilant over the countryside and after a discovery the sister had requested the aid of one of them for a funeral.

Rose had accepted and left soon to the teleporter hub and, after some traveling, teamed with Sister Maggie and it took another three hours to find the location for the requested funeral was to be performed and she'd nearly thrown up when she'd seen what it truly was.

Piled up nearly four stories in the middle of a vast swathe of farmland had been a veritable mountain of corpses. Men, woman, child- all where dumped into a careless heap, their lifeless bodies in sharp contrast with the green meadows and swaying trees surrounding the heap. The smell of slowly rancid flesh would be smelt beneath the placid, flowery scent of the countryside.

Rose knew instantly from the slit throats and wrists the thousands of slain people were the victims of the Empire's bleeders. Completely drained of blood and just dumped in a random heap as if they were garbage, of no more use.

To the Empire they were. Drained of blood, they had no further purpose and the trolls in charge had just thrown away all those lives. It was sickening and Rose swallowed back the rush of bile as she stared at the heap of lifeless humans, just discarded like trash. Herself and Sister Maggie were a fair amount of distance away but Rose felt weakened and grieving already.

But she had a job to do and forced back her horror and fright, even as tears of rage and pity blurred her vision. When they were nearly twenty yards from the colossal pile of bodies she pulled out Echidna's needles, the wands glowing in her hands, familiar and warm in her grip. Gently she brandished them while shimmering light gathered at the branch-like tips, inhaling softly while her eyes flared with Light.

That was one thing Echidna's needles could do. While she was able to launch the magical light into flesh-searing beams she was able to cast a broad glowing net of light from the tips and toss it across an area like a net to snag a school of fish. It wouldn't work against mobile enemies as it was slow and so showy anyone with any sensecould easily get out of the way far before it landed. However to disintegrate large immobile things- such as parked ships or mountains of bodies -then it was effective.

It was the only thing they could so for the thousand of dead. Cremation was the only dignity Rose could offer them, to turn their remains into nothing even akin to ash. They were beyond such concerns and Rose felt that there was something beyond that life, with everything she'd witnessed with Dreambubbles and Timelines. Gently the net of brilliant light draped across the mount of bodies and with a soft noise the corpses ignited and were vaporized as it lowered.

Next to her Sister Maggie's voice sang out a funeral hymn- it was not affiliated with one specific religion, but rather a despairing farewell, an expression of final respect and a hopeful call to another life beyond the current one. A song of sorrow and sympathy and Rose struggled to keep her emotions in check while she cremated the bodies. It was all she could offer, and ugly hard truth with knowing funerals were a luxury they could not afford in their state of world wide war.

They could at least offer the remains of so many lives lost a respectful send off, as best as she were able.

It took only a minute for the mount of corpses to be dissolved by the gleaming web of light and by then Sister Maggie's voice was raspy but her face was clean of tears. She had the look of a woman who'd sent off many others before and Rose wondered how many more the Sister would see off. It certainly weren't the first bodies Rose had cremated with Echidna's needles and she doubted they would be the last. But at least she'd let the countless dead leave the world, not to just be left dumped in a heap like garbage.

When she and the sister were walking back to the teleporter Rose kept the needles close in a tight-fisted grip. She wished for some trolls to attack for her to take out her fury and grief on, even just thinking of the lifeless bodies, blank eyes and yawning smiles slashed across throats make her jaw clench irritably.

Rose was fairly sure that nearly a quarter of humanity had been eradicated already by the trolls. She didn't know what the death toll would be when the Condesce was finally killed, because that was one thing Rose knew for certain- the Condesce would die in this war. She had to die, had to die for countless crimes too horrific to mention and for so long they predated human civilization.

It had been such a grievous blow for humanity with the trolls invading. Not just in terms of livelihood but because humanity had made that final step towards evolving on a societal level. Through the efforts of the billion dollar, world spanning Crocker Corp and their family they'd managed to drag humanity forward, make the steps towards a society that functioned perfectly. Rose wasn't one to brandish the word 'Utopia' around lightly but it was how she saw them at large with a lot of kicking and screaming. Add in the expansion towards space, the steady colonization of the Moon and tentative building plans upon Mars humanity would've become a space faring species where no one wanted for nothing with only the stars as their limit.

It was distressing and painful to see all that tireless work voided due to the selfish, hateful actions of a different species. Sometimes she hated the trolls with such fury it stole her breath away and clenched a cold rage tight in her chest.

Getting back to the base was dispiriting in a way but Rose had to remind herself she couldn't save everyone in the war- she wasn't even certain she could save herself even but she would do her best. Sister Maggie had thanked her for her aid in the funeral and Rose had spent nearly half and hour brooding over it before she left back to her family's central hub of congregation. As usual she tried to search with her Light abilities but as always any fortune evaded her, leaving her bad tempered and feeling useless yet again.

It was something she doubted she'd ever get used to, the casual mass murdering from the trolls. They didn't seem to care by and large and just butchered countless races on the command of a mad woman. Her thoughts her grown increasingly violent as she brooded before forcing herself from her room and wishing Jade were with her, but the Witch had left on her own missions hours before.

But, abruptly, Rose had felt something shift deep within herself. The aching well of despair and pain had suddenly lessened naught but an hour ago and her shoulders had relaxed minutely. It was something small but Rose had been hyper aware of it- she doubted the change was just from a stress induced mood swing and she was convinced something had shifted, subtly, in the war. Who, what and why she had no idea but that gut instinct had served her so well in the past she never entertained the thought of dismissing it. Something had _changed_ in the course of the war.

That was how she found herself in one of the hub living rooms for herself and her family; it was circular in shape, with its own kitchen unit, tables and chairs with a ceiling threaded with succulent vines studded with colourful flowers. A teleporter, one of their personal, private ones, was situated in the middle of the room and on the far wall was a large television. She and Dirk were sitting in one of the smooth notches in the rocky wall, talking over her swinging gut instinct. Dirk, due to being a Heart player, had noticed the shift in her stance and the two were discussing on what had caused it.

She, Dirk, Bro, Mama Roxy and Jane's father were the only ones in the room. Bro wasn't speaking to anyone, instead just perched up on one of the jagged shelves of rock near the ceiling and honing his katana. Jane's father was in the kitchen, as he'd been for hours, just senselessly baking. Rose wasn't even sure if he was aware of what he was doing; there was a mechanical stiffness to his movements and far away blankness in his eyes. It reminded her of the dream with the troll with a wooden smile and hollow dark pits for eyes that frightened yet reassured her. But she didn't know how to comfort him over his daughter's capture and torture, even if Mama Roxy was doing her best to speak to him, making jokes and laughing to herself in an effort to reach through to him.

Rose thought of that and her own fright and sadness and in that inexplicable lessening of the burden across her shoulders. She didn't know what had shifted, what had changed, but she felt oddly invigorated. Not just like what had happened with Jade's proposal but a different change nonetheless. For some reason she kept of thinking of a wooden smile, even while rubbing her thumb across her engagement ring.

A vision suddenly burst into being, searing through her mind with the burning force of the sun and making her cry out in pain. The image spiked deep within her brain, coinciding with the burst of energy from the teleporter in the middle of the room.

"Get away from there!"

It was a testament to how forcefully she'd shouted that her family obeyed her instantly- Bro leapt to his feet and flashstepped across to a slab of jutting rock on the opposite side of the room, Rose got up and sprinted near the exit, Dirk by her side, while Jane's father and Mama Roxy jolted away from the kitchenette, even if Rose noticed Roxy grabbing a kitchen knife as she ran. Rose skidded to a stop before she smashed into the wall by the door, the room cursedly small even as the teleport sent out a burst of sparkles and swirling energy high into the air and suddenly a colossal form of a troll with a broken, bleeding shape clenched tight in his arms came into being, wavy horns nearly brushing the ceiling even from where the troll was partially crouched.

Glowing eyes of purple framed by the jagged white paint of the High Subjugglator glared at them.

* * *

 


	39. Home

* * *

 

_"So what made you like him?"_

_"I presume you're asking about Gamzee."_

_"Obviously. Unless you seduced another troll that we don't know about?"_

_"Hardly, Gamzee was a handful enough as it is. And...I don't know, it just rather happened. I acted spontaneously really. Before that he was just the strange alien lingering around my house."_

_Jane and Rose were sitting in the lounge of Rose's home, Jane curled up in an armchair while Rose was sprawled across the couch in a languid heap. Sunlight streaming through the wide veranda glass doors and various potted plants were dotted around the room, giving off small bursts of colour with their blooming flowers. Fitting for the Seer, the living room was bright and sunny. The iced tea was cool in its glass, the wetness soothing against Rose's hand as she delicately took a sip before settling back down comfortably. Jane was gazing at the center table, which was covered in various yarns and a half knitted scarf in Hufflepuff colours._

_"He was sweet," Jane continued, almost wistfully, "I didn't really expect that. Considering his appearance...Well, I would say all the trolls have fairly fearsome appearances, those claws and teeth. Gamzee's were terrible, I had to borrow Roxy's nail kit to clean his claws up, the poor dear."_

_"Kanaya was like that. I mean, she was well groomed. Had claw kits and everything. Even if her fashion was a bit strange."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes, one of her outfits had her dress tucked into her belt."_

_Jane's eyelids fluttered at that, a confused look passing over her face. Rose just shrugged helplessly, "Kanaya had some gifts but fashion wasn't...I don't know, troll fashion seems terrible as it is. So bland. Though I would guess for a dictatorship you wouldn't encourage individuality."_

_"I'd say. I thought Gamzee's Bard outfit was a, I don't know, a clown outfit at first but then Roxy told me it was an actual class? And that's how they all looked? Goodness me and I thought my Godtier outfit was terrible, those ugly dull browns."_

_"Mine was just a banana yellow dress. But at least it was bright, rather than a mustard yellow. Small mercies."_

_Shifting slightly, Jane took another sip of her tea; her hair was longer, curling down her shoulders and licking at her brow. The purple symbol of Rage hung on its delicate chain, resting on the skin just above her breasts. Rose eyed the curling necklace before flicking her gaze up to Jane's bright blue eyes- a softer shade than John's vibrant azure._

_"That Game...I hate it," Jane muttered, more to herself. Inwardly Rose agreed._

_"But at least we got to meet some interesting people along the way."_

_"Besides my family, I only met Gamzee. Everyone I can't remember," Jane frowned, "But sometimes it's like a half forgotten dream, I can...I think I've met them before but I can't actually recall it."_

_Rose hummed, shifting on the couch and making her skirts rustle with the movement, "I think its a byproduct. We are the sum of all the timelines, even the Doomed ones, but the memories of the Alpha timeline, the one we followed to completion is the one we see true. If something triggers a memory from a Doomed timeline then we recall it. But until then it's as you say, a half forgotten dream."_

_"I remember a timeline, I think, of a girl." Jane frowned at the wall, "But I felt like I could trust her but she looked...she looked so strange. Something just so off. I don't know, I'm not making sense."_

_"That whole Game didn't make sense. We just have to do the best we can with what we got."_

_"That too. But I wonder if they're alive. The trolls I mean. I hope so. I hope Gamzee is happy. He seemed so sad sometimes. He would never tell me why."_

_Despite herself Rose couldn't help but ask, "Sad?"_

_"Yes. Sometimes I would find him just staring at nothing and he would just seem so unhappy. Like something was bearing him down. It was strange, since he is typically so...not happy, but content. You know, just someone who is fine simply being around you? And he'd always look partially asleep, like he was always ready for a nap. He liked that, sleeping in my bed with me. I had to coax or even drag him a few times before he would follow. He always seemed so bewildered by affection."_

_A dark shadow crossed Jane's face and a part of Rose wondered what Jane would do if she ever got her hands on someone who harmed Gamzee. Jane was always bullheaded, even after years of SBURB ending and if there was another thing Jane was stubborn about it was about her heart. She wasn't going to relinquish it in a hurry, not while she still held Gamzee in such regard. Even Rose, as much as she remembered her first relationship with Kanaya, wasn't so tight fisted with her affection. It made her worry about Jane, who remained so besotted by a troll long gone. Rose had only spoken to Gamzee in their Alpha timeline once, really, and he had been fairly short and hostile. The sweet shy troll Jane spoke of was a stranger to Rose but then she had to admit she had made absolutely no effort at all to get closer to Gamzee. It was a deep mistake she'd made, while sitting for three years doing nothing except getting drunk._

_She was hardly in a position to judge._

_"I couldn't understand that," Jane was saying, more to herself than anything, "But as soon as he learned I wasn't going to shove him away he got so...Well, I don't want to say needy, but really that's how it was. Even if we were just in the same room he'd want to be physically close to me, even just pressed up against my side, or holding my hand or even draped across me. He wanted to be close. It was so terrible, considering how starved he was for touch. I don't even want to imagine a society that does that to someone."_

_"What I learned of troll society was horrible," Rose said quietly, "But I think the way Kanaya and Karkat and Terezi simply accepted it was even worse. Karkat even defended the Empire, saying it was 'awesome'. And this was after he went on a tangent how he'd be horribly killed if his blood colour was ever found out. He still worshiped a society where he'd be horrifically murdered simply for existing. It was sickening, hearing it. We may have fucked up in the Game so bad but killing the Condesce was not one of them. She was evil. Even her Beforus self..." Rose made a noise of derision, remembering the arrogant fuchsia._

_"Yes, John told me how this 'Meenah' tried to kill him in the Dreambubbles," Jane said, voice cold, "Attempted to kill Roxy as well."_

_"She's beyond retribution," Rose told her. And your fists._

_Jane scowled, "I know. I just wish I'd done something in that last fight. Instead I killed-" the Maid chocked herself off, glaring at the wall._

_Rose tactfully stayed silent, sipping from her tea. She knew about Jane's extreme reaction when she'd learned she had killed Jake while possessed. Jake held no grudges but Jane still had her guilt even if she came to terms with it. Rose could almost relate, but even while Grimdark and vengeful she hadn't raised a hand to John so she wouldn't offend Jane by offering a meaningless comparison._

_Then the Maid sighed, sounding far too old for a woman in her twenties, "I guess you're right. But either way, I have a lot of regrets but Gamzee isn't one of them."_

_"You care about him."_

_"Of course I do." Jane looked genuinely surprised by the statement._

_"Well...you did know what he did to Terezi," Rose said and instantly regretted it at how Jane's expression darkened again._

_"That was her own fault- I already said-"_

_"I know." Rose quickly cut her off._

_She didn't want to deal with an irate Jane and she could still remember the whole fight with Dave. But then, one of them could really match Jane in terms of sheer brute strength; even John came second to her and only their parents- or 'Dadbert' and 'Crockerdad' as Roxy affectionately called them -outstripped Jane in strength but the two men were not in their prime anymore and she'd soon surpass them. Still, she didn't fear Jane, would never fear a member of her family, but starting a fight wasn't Rose's intention. She was tired of fighting and preferred to surround herself with fabric and sunlight._

_A sigh and Jane slumped back in the chair, drink tilting perilously, "I know, I sound defensive. I'm just so used to having my judgement...well, judged."_

_"I was in a relationship with a vampire," Rose said dryly._

_"Does that-"_

_"I don't know if that makes me a necrophiliac. Undead is more of a grey area," Rose rolled her eyes, remembering the various conversations she'd already had with Roxy over the issue._

_The two women shared humorous smiles before Jane's face turned more serious, "At least I lucked out with him and the Empire. He didn't even know who the Empress was, when I asked him."_

_"Yes, the trolls on the meteor did mention Gamzee was a little bit...lackadaisical with events."_

_"I can't really blame him; if I grew up within the Empire I'd probably try and remain numb to it all."_

_The Seer hummed in agreement. Little wonder most of the trolls were just violent and hateful- the Empire had mentally and socially abused them into such a way of thinking and it still disgusted Rose to think about it. Even Kanaya would make the occasional blithe comments that would shock Rose but then again they were still fairly blind to each other as a species. It took Kanaya a few years to understand Rose's drinking was even a problem and vice versa._

_It had taken Rose quite some time to forgive Dave for never stepping in, as well. For utterly ignoring her while she spiraled into alcoholism. Then again a lot of bitter, ugly things happened during that Game that she was still resentful over. But while she regarded Kanaya with distant fondness, she never hung onto a hope for the Jadeblood. Instead she thought of something else when thinking of jade- of tangled black hair and bright green eyes. However for Jane Rose was unsure if that would happen, she guarded her heart diligently and despite being one of the most powerful women on the planet she never sought out romance despite many offers. It was possible she was just no longer interested and Rose wasn't completely sure. However she didn't want to pry._

_"I still send him messages- do you know that? I didn't hide it from the start but I've kept it up for years. He's never responded but I still do it."_

_Rose nodded, even though Jane was staring at the wall with her thoughts miles away. The Seer could understand the impulse even if a part of her felt the trolls were dead. Or maybe it was a part of her buried deep down that hoped they were as she doubted they would be alone. But she let Jane talk, knowing the woman had kept a lot of her relationship sealed drum tight. Rose had the feeling she probably confided with her father but if anyone could relate on a missing alien paramour it was herself._

_"Sometimes it's just foolish bits and bobs. Telling him about a fun recipe I tried, complaining about work, mentioning dealing with the family or how my job as CEO is going along. I don't even know if he'd understand most of it, since our cultures are so different."_

_"Pity he doesn't have a twitter."_

_That got a laugh from the Maid, "That too. It would probably cut down on my natter."_

_"Have you mentioned being a doctor?"_

_"Yes- even told him that nickname," Jane said with a roll of her eyes._

_"He certainly was fond of those miracles," Rose said, taking a sip of tea, "But you certainly lucked out in actually having a power which benefits you outside of that Game."_

_"Your visions-"_

_"I don't think they work," Rose cut her off, "My Light visions only came to me from Doomed timelines. We don't have timelines anymore so there are no...second chances I can take advantage of. Even if even while in the Game I sucked," she finished bitterly._

_"Don't worry, we all sucked."_

_"...Maybe so. I just wish we kept out abilities of flight."_

_"At least gas cars are no longer a thing so we don't have to worry about petrol," Jane grinned slightly, "Anyway we have enough clout to bring on those feelings of yours, even if they're just a passing fancy."_

_"True. But speaking of gut feelings, I've been thinking about something we can start building on around cities, to help cut down on congestion and whatnot. Sort of like dwarven mountain holds."_

_"Tell me more."_

* * *

Everything seemed to slow for Rose, heart hammering in her ears and blood rushing through her head. She was acutely aware of the breathing and flushed body heat of her family as they clustered around her and the glint of Bro's blade and Mama Roxy's kitchen knife. Despite that her focus was intently narrowed on the huge troll crouched in the middle of the room, with a broken figure cradled in his thick arms.

_Jane. It's Jane._

Even with how bloodied and bruised she was, Rose recognized her instantly but the Seer struggled to tear her attention from the Grand Highblood's furious glare- no, not the Grand Highblood. Gamzee.

Her throat flexed as she swallowed back the taste of bile but her vision was still scalding her brain, making dots swarm in her vision and fingertips numb. She knew, she _knew_ that there were only two outcomes to this- either she made a choice, or someone did something stupid and many of them died. She knew that, if it came to a fight, Gamzee would kill quite a few of them before being put down and Jane could also die in the ensuing carnage.

 _Gamzee would kill us._ As soon as she thought that she knew it was true, in the same way she now knew that if it had been any other human captured by the Subjugglators Gamzee never would've raised a hand to help them. He would've left them to be tortured to death and felt not regrets. And she _also_ knew Gamzee never intended to actually follow Jane to the human strong hold, that it had been a disastrous series of events that led to him inadvertently gaining access to the teleporter.

The clarity of her visions caused sweat to bead her body and her limbs to twitch. Before tears could escape her eyes- _What happened to Jane, what is that hideous burning smell,_ -Gamzee suddenly hissed, the noise shifting from a snake like warning to a deep guttural snarling that caused a primal part of her mind to shift into panic. Rose's hand shot out and seized Bro's wrist before the mute man had a chance to move.

She mustn't let a fight break out, something which threatened to explode the longer their staring contest lasted and the redder the scleras of Gamzee's eyes turned.

 _Gamzee_ had been the shift she'd felt earlier, the Seer was certain.

"Everyone needs to leave the room," Rose finally said, eyes damp and mind saturated with Light, "Except for you, Mister Crocker- please tend to your injured daughter."

Jane's father looked startled at the sudden address but nonetheless nodded; his eyes were as bloodshot and watery as Rose's own. With the Crocker patriarch's cooperation meet, Rose fumbled for the door handle and glared at both Dirk's and the oldest Roxy before they quickly followed her mute order. Shutting the door behind them made the noise resonate down the underground corridor and Mama Lalonde looked a few seconds away from barging back in until Rose grabbed her elbow.

"Mother, stop- he'll kill us, he'll kill us all," Rose said, tears finally bursting from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

"You Saw this?" Dirk asked, hovering just behind her. His other self was staring coldly at the shut door, katana still in hand but now as immovable as a carved statue.

"Yes. Just an instant before he showed up," the Seer wiped at her cheeks, heart hammering in her chest, "I haven't- I haven't been able to See anything so clearly before. But I just knew and now..." Rose pressed a hand to her temples, the agony within her skull making her faint. The image had stopped pulsing but the clarity was shocking after so many years of murkiness followed by the confusion and shame during the cross-species war and scattered, blurred visions that plagued her since.

Dirk quickly caught her shoulders as she tottered backwards slightly even as her mother said, "Is it alright to leave him in there with that troll? Or even Jane?"

"No, Gamzee will not harm him or her. It was us he was getting so pissed about. He won't hurt Jane's father."

"How can you be so sure," Dirk asked in such a neutral tone it seemed more of a statement than a question.

Rose smiled grimly, "Because it's bad form to harm your matesprits lusus."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!


	40. Family

* * *

When Jane woke it was to a hideous smell and intense fatigue.

 _I'm tired of being unconscious._ She idly thought. It seemed to be happening quite a lot lately and she never was one to think she'd be in the 'fainting' category. Then again, tearing off her hand and getting a portion of her side burnt off seemed fairly valid reasons to fall into unconsciousness. Pain, it was a common one for her lately.

Blindly she reached up with her left arm, forgetting that was the one which was missing a hand and the sealed stump bumped against the underside of Gamzee's jaw. She knew it was him simply from the swelling flames of his aura pressed tight against her, comforting to her scattered senses like an open fire on a cold winters night. The agony in her side was subdued, oddly muffled considering the smell of burnt fat and flesh she could still feel curling within her nostrils. 

When she finally opened her eyes with pinpricks of pain all she could see was the soothing blackness of Gamzee's onyx skin, the deep shade gentle on her sensitive eyes. Then the muscles in his neck flexed as he twisted his head down to look at her, face paint jagged and features scarred but nonetheless familiar. She gave him a shaky smile with blood stained teeth from where she'd bitten her tongue and after a brief second of staring he returned the gesture- just a great deal toothier than her own.

"I think I messed up that plan," she rasped. The huge troll just shrugged, obviously not bothered, and Jane's gaze slid from his face to the ceiling which was covered in hundreds of deep green vines dotted with tiny perfect flowers. They were in a cave, she could tell by the juts of stone threaded with the roof of vines but she also knew it was part of her family's mouse hole. Probably one of the less used locations but a deep tension roiled from her aching body when she realized she was back home. She was _safe._

Gamzee was sitting cross legged on the ground, with her easily supported in his lap and arms and she could feel his deep steady breathing and dull, slow heart beat. Jane rubbed at his chest, along the swooping main curve of his symbol, before a rustle noise alerted her very poor senses that they were not alone and slowly, very slowly, she turned her head to the side.

A man dressed all in white was kneeling within arms reach with his back to them, a massively dense medical kit strewn in front which he was rummaging through before he turned back around to face her with bloodshot eyes and tears shining on his cheeks.

For a long minute Jane stared at the man who remained kneeling next to her, struggling to put his achingly familiar features into focus. It was like trying to drag her attention through thick mud and she tentatively tried to reach out for him with her remaining hand, to which he immediately caught it in his own. As soon as that happened the smell of pipe smoke and baking flooded her nostrils and abruptly Jane burst into tears.

" _Dad._ "

Instantly the man surged forward, completely uncaring of the huge troll cradling her as he seized her in a hug, reaching over Gamzee's lap to clasp her tight. Jane was too weak and disorientated to move too much, so she flailed like a broken doll before managing to get one arm around her father's shoulders and burying her face against his shoulder before dissolving into tears.

"My brave, strong, foolish daughter." His fingers tightened around her, desperate yet still careful of her many wounds.

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make everyone worry." She sobbed, body convulsing slightly as she clung to her father. Another hand, tipped with long yellow claws, lightly brushed through her tangled and bloodied hair before withdrawing.

"We got that- that hand, and thought-"

"That was me," Jane mumbled into his white suit, an almost hysterical laugh escaping her, "I ripped off my own hand. I didn't think they'd send it to you."

He pulled back from her, hands resting on her shoulders, "Why would you do such a thing?"

"It was, it was a final plan. I never really intended to do it. I can grow my hand back." She looked at the stump of her hand, sealed with the translucent green gel. Her father looked at it as well, lips pressing into a thin line before they slid down further down to the mess on the left of her torso.

His touch was gentle as her father gingerly peeled up the hem of her shirt; a large portion of the fabric was partially melted into her side, charred flesh and muscle exposed. The underside of her lowest rib bone was blackened hideously, just shy of being melted as well. Only a thick slathering of the same green gel sealing her wrist stopped the agony from blinding her, whatever chemicals in the sealant numbing the wound as if it wasn't even there.

"I took care of it, when ya lusus first saw a gaze with it," Gamzee spoke, making her jump; she'd nearly forgotten he was there with her fixation on her father who was inspecting her gory side with a frown.

Jane blinked up at the troll, "Eh?"

"With the same slick slime green seal shit I all up and used on your lil' missing paw before." As if to prove his comment, he ejected a jar the size of Jane's head from his sylladex and it landed with a thump next to them. The jar looked like one used for face lotion- with a screw lid and stout body of smoky glass. On top of the black lid someone had scribbled a purple :o) and Jane wondered if Gamzee had drawn it on the jar or the creator had.

"I want the recipe..." she mumbled. It was such a helpful thing to have handy- a skintight sealant that didn't choke the flesh, completely suctioned off exposed flesh of the wound, didn't contaminate and bound infection while numbing the exposed nerves to such a degree Jane could only feel a dull ache compared with blistering agony. 

"I've got a lot of this nice green smell shit," Gamzee said, "Can give ya some. Usually we get all of that from people who up and know it but mostly Church shit this is, 'cause usually gotta keep scarifies living and whatever on it for the Bleeders. Also we get fucked up like a right motherfucker so handy shit."

"Good, we should keep it. Keep all of it."

Gamzee shifted so Jane was cradled in one arm, her head resting on his elbow. The other hand drummed an uncertain beat on the floor, claws producing sharp _clicks_ that echoed through the room. It took a few moments for Jane's sluggish mind to realize that Gamzee and her father actually hadn't met- her screaming and pain from before had sucked out a great deal of her energy. Pain was strange like that. So much unwanted effort.

"Uh, dad this is Gamzee." Jane said weakly, glancing between the two, "Gamzee, this is my father. He's-"

She was cut off when her father moved, grabbing the hand which Gamzee wasn't holding her with, fingers clenched tight on the troll's dark skin. Gamzee looked fairly startled but allowed the touch, even if his finned ears curled down slightly. 

Jane twitched, seeing the deep gratitude and shine of tears in her father's eyes as he said to Gamzee in a quiet, earnest voice, "Thank you for bringing my daughter home."

When she glanced up at Gamzee she was surprised to see how embarrassed- or at least oddly shy -the giant troll looked. Awkwardly the Bard looked away so he was staring at the wall even as Jane's father continued to gaze at him. Jane swallowed down the lump in her throat, knowing just how much she owed Gamzee for saving her. She wasn't sure what had really happened after she got shot, since she was in so much pain and had been trying to ineffectively crawl to the teleporter, but he'd somehow taken her there and ended up with her. The teleporter would've become inert after she'd used it and that code likewise would've become useless. 

Clearing her throat, Jane drew the attention of both men and she flicked a glance down at her side before saying to her father, "Could you remove the seal over this?"

An expression of consternation crossed his face, "I don't think that is wise. Surely you want to fix your hand first?"

Jane shook her head, "I can live without a hand for the time being. But this...this wound in my side, I don't really know how this sealant works, but the wing clipped through the flesh and has seared some of my organs- my liver, right lung and some of my intestines. They need to be healed." Jane frowned, "And maybe some of my kidney, not sure. It's all a mess, half melted and burnt."

Gamzee sucked in a breath before saying slowly, "Think I can help, Life sis. Push some of that pain down numb, when peeling off that green stuff."

For a moment Jane said nothing as she considered Gamzee's words; healing her side would take some tact, as doing it rushed like her feet could leave her organs deformed and worst off. Having Gamzee use his chucklevoodoos- or was it his Rage? She was unsure -to mentally block the pain would allow her to work without distraction.

"...Right, well first off I'll deal with the internal damage and then the outside- what even is this gel? I have aches within, but its not causing me undue pain. I'd love to get my hands on the ingredients..." Jane felt as if sopor, the strange troll narcotic was part of it, but wasn't willing to bet on anything just yet.

Gamzee shrugged, "Gonna have to ask the brew master, sis. I ain't knowing whats going on in there."

Giving a low hum Jane nodded before gingerly reaching around with her remaining hand and gently placing it across the gel slathered thickly across her deeply burnt side. Focusing on her Life ability was easier than when she'd torn her hand off but Jane still knew she had to take it slow. She started with the deepest part of the wound and found she was correct about one of her kidneys being damaged. Healing it was easy enough, as the damage was only a small sear into the bean-shaped organ and within the minute it was fixed. Repairing the flesh and vessels littering her insides was more tedious, especially when she had to slowly heal her damaged lung and intestine. Her intestine had taken the brunt of the damage along with her liver, which was a boon as it prevented her left most lung from collapsing or start filling with blood. Her passive healing had kept the organs functioning despite the damage but it was only enough to keep her stable so she worked as swiftly as she dared in healing the partially melted left side of her small and large intestine before checking her lung again, noting with satisfaction the spongy bronchi and disphragm were easily sucking in oxygen again.

Once that check was done she shifted back to her intestine, knowing she could easily internally poison herself if she hadn't healed it correctly; her cecum and ascending colon were healed and even as she sensed she could place the steadily increasingly blood flow to the healed areas. Then she turned her attention to her liver, wincing inwardly at how nearly a fourth of the right lobe had been burnt away completely from the angel. Of the gall bladder it was no longer even in her body- it had been seared away to nothing. Her coronary ligament running along the upper part of the right lobe had also been damaged. However the angel wing hadn't gone deep enough to harm her hepatic ducts or the cystic duct which was a relief. 

Keeping her focus on her live, Jane urged the regrowth of the missing right lobe and senses the sudden burst of hepatic cells and lobules as she reformed the missing portion of the organ. She felt the pressure of her growing liver halt as it came in contact with the gel and wordlessly she tapped on the gel; her father gently, very gently, peeled off the gel covered the seared skin of her side. The numbness of the wound gave way to an increasing itchiness but Jane ignored it as she regrew her liver back to its normal size before turning her attention to the layers of skin, fat and tissue that had been burnt away.

As the pain built Jane felt something pressing on her skull, as if she was wearing a hat. However the weird warmth, so like Gamzee's aura, let her know he was using his psychics to force down her pain somewhat so she took advantage of the pain free moments to flit her attention across her side, zeroing onto her burnt lowermost rib and healing the cartilaginous tip before reinforcing the exposed length of bone, healing away the budding infection and exposed marrow to cover it with a healthy layer of cortical bone before finally sealing it with regrown periosteum. 

Satisfied that the bones and organs were fixed- including briefly checking her pelvis to make sure it hadn't been injured -she directed her senses to the skin. One benefit to wielding her Life powers were that while much of the skin was pitch black, usually burnt beyond repair, she was able to urge the connecting not-yet-dead skin to flood through the dead tissue and revive it. And so she did that, first healing the transverse abdominis muscle before jumping up to the next layer, the internal abdominal oblique and restoring the missing thick muscles. Once that was done she moved to the next layer, the external abdominal oblique until her burnt side was no longer exposed, and instead covered by fresh twitching muscle which glistened red and wet. 

The skin layers were easiest as she ran up the building blocks, going from the subcutaneous tissue, to the dermis to the epidermis, making sure each layer was fed with its appropriate blood vessels, nerves, arteries, sweat glands and veins. She also double checked the regrown dermal papilla and stratum coreneum pigment layers, making sure she wasn't missing anything.

Another internal check revealed she'd fixed the wound on her side- the various bruises and cuts would be healed via her passive healing so she ignored them, coming to the conclusion that the only extreme wound left was her missing hand.

With slow movements she opened her eyes, turning her head so she was able to see her left side and smiled faintly through her exhaustion at the expanse of healed flesh. The tattered sides of the jacket hung down still, the edges seared black from the angel wing and Jane's foggy mind realized she probably should speak to Huia about Gamzee- the woman had inadvertently seen him after all, and she felt like the knowledge that she'd accidentally abducted him should be kept quiet for the time being until she figured out what the Bard wanted.

Her father carefully cleaned the now-healed skin of her side, causing Jane to flinch as the antiseptic wipe stung at the sensitive, regrown flesh. Gamzee was still holding her but the pressure on her skull had left and, when she looked up at his face, his eyes were normal purple surrounded by golden yellow. She knew troll psychics didn't work as well on humans as it did their own species so it made her wonder if he'd used his Rage abilities on her. She didn't really know enough about them to speculate but she'd consented and it meant she didn't have to deal with agony so she wasn't about to complain.

"Ugh, I'm fed up with being tired," Jane grumbled, pressing the heel of her palm against her forehead.

"You've been abducted and tortured," her father said in disapproving tones.

"Well yes but-"

"Eh sleep if ya want, I'm here and some with your lusus," Gamzee said, running his claws through her hair lightly.

Jane had no idea what Gamzee had just called her father, but instead said, "Do you-"

They were interrupted by music suddenly blaring from her father's coat pocket, singing _'She's a Killer Queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind anytime'_ which caused all three of them to stare until her father pulled the phone from his pocket and answered it with a brusque, "Yes Roxy, what is it?"

_"Oh good, my ringtone still works. I take it from your answering no one is dead in a bloodied heap anywhere, including our Janey?"_

"She's fine," he answered even as Jane said loudly, "No one is dead, Roxy."

 _"Well thank fuck for that, Rose kept on nagging us about- Hey! Rose I'm talking bugger off with your grasping witch mits-"_ There was noise of a squabble on the other end of the line, followed by various Lalondes cursing colourfully. Jane stifled a giggle but a part of her was deeply glad to hear Roxy's voice again. The last time she'd seen Roxy was when she'd forcefully hurled the Rogue through the teleporter and then been beaten bloody by the Priestormentors.

Gamzee meanwhile just squinted at the phone before inhaling deeply, the paint along the bridge of his nose wrinkling slightly with the motion. Jane remained cradled in his arms, tired and weary but happy to hear her friends voice again, to know that she had gotten back safely. It was difficult for her to move, wanting to sleep for a weak after the tedious, hour-long healing session she'd just done on herself but doggedly clung to consciousness. With her remaining hand she reached up and tangled her fingers in a dark lock of hair which had spilled down over Gamzee's broad shoulders. The troll grinned at her to which she returned the gesture.

Meanwhile Roxy's and Rose's catfight had ceased and the Rogue was left back in command of the phone, saying in a cheerful- if breathless -tone, _"So she's fixed up that burnt shit?"_

"Yes Roxy, I've healed that. The hand is more difficult, so it will have to wait." It was a truth, as regrowning missing bones was difficult. Even with her damaged insides she was healing existing tissue beside her gall bladder. Bones in particular were extremely difficult to grow from scratch. As it was she was tempted to fall asleep again but knew she needed to reassure the rest of her family- speaking of which, why weren't in the room?

She said as much and Roxy quickly replied, _"Weeeeell we didn't want to smother that alien bf of yours, so figured some space and shit would be best."_

"What? Gamzee's fine."

_"Um yeah, anyway we have some important shit to talk about but uh don't want to overwhelm you and stuff. Like you just got back from being a prisoner of war which is some wild shit."_

"I'm not there anymore, I'm alright," Jane said tersely, "Tell me what the problem is."

_"Uh. Look, you need time to recover first, okay? We've all stressed out to hell over what happened to you, me especially 'cause my stupid ass was there."_

That shot down Jane's rising ire and she felt ashamed; she'd been focused on herself and hadn't bothered to dwell on how her family might have acted with her kidnapping- they had, after all, received her severed hand and Jane severely doubted the trolls had been gentle in delivering it. And despite her own protests Jane was struggling to keep her eyes open, her self healing session and previous attacking of an admiral keeping her tired and run down, drained of all the energy she'd gained while recuperating in Gamzee's care.

She rubbed at the muscular forearm of the troll still holding her tight and Gamzee hummed lowly as he squeezed her slightly. Her father paused in speaking to Roxy to glance at the two before going back to his conversation. Jane breathed slowly, eyes shutting as she ran over the current scenario through her head- she was back home, all her family was alive and Gamzee was with her.

Her nails dug lightly into Gamzee's gauntlet, fingers running over the bones running down the length. The invasion was still a major issue for humanity but Jane had to bow to Roxy's remark. She was exhausted, both mentally, physically and spiritually, so she had to admit Roxy was right- she was not in any state to make big changes or courses of action. She was muddled and stressed, still wounded even if she'd fixed the burn in her side.

It made her think of the admiral, with his glasses, scars and purple streaked hair. She was also fairly sure she'd heard the seadweller address Gamzee directly before being smacked in the mouth. Frankly Jane had no issue with that but she was bemused as to the relation between the two since a nickname indicated a large amount of familiarity.

"Gamzee who was that admiral?" she asked bluntly, looking up at him.

His reply was just as blunt, "That was Eridan. Ain't think you ever met him 'cause he was dead 'bout the time you swung around."

She squinted, struggling to keep her eyes open, "Eridan? That name seems familiar."

"Think you lot maybe got all the shit that went down in that tenacious motherfuckin' Game 'cause that was where he was at, one of us at there being a Bard of Hope," Gamzee paused then amended, "Nah ain't that shit, half Bard I guess but he was the Prince of Hope. Yeah...Yeah, that was Eridan."

"The Prince?"

"Yeah. Don't you humans got one?"

"Oh yes, Dirk. I forgot," she yawned, thoughts slow as she ran over his words. It certainly explained the angels the admiral had been firing at her, since he was a Hope player. Or an ex-player, as it were since the Game was dead. Jake was unable to summon angels- even if he was still capable of summoning a protective barrier of impenetrable Hope energy -and after seeing the sheer destruction they caused Jane had counted it as a boon. Having parts of her organs burnt out of her side certainly cemented that opinion on the hideous screaming things.

Her father's low voice and Gamzee's calm breathing grew thick in her ears as Jane's eyes slid shut. Her senses were weak and delicate but she could easily sense Gamzee's burning Life force holding her and then her father's which was dense and compact where Gamzee's was writhing like angry flames. Her father's Life force was less strong compared with Gamzee's but Jane felt it was only because he lacked an Aspect compared with Game players who glowed bright with it. But nonetheless her father's continued proximity was soothing, even as he was kneeling on the ground only a few inches from Gamzee.

She tried to tune in on the conversation he was having with Roxy, and her tired mind was fairly sure he was talking about dinner or at least something about 'sweet meats' but another part was glad the rest of her family hadn't seen her in her sorry state of being burned and feeling more dead than alive. Already recalling the agony of her side being burnt through caused her to shudder and Gamzee's arms to tighten around her and then she felt her father's warm hand grip her own, squeezing her fingers gently.

"You can get your nap on if ya want," Gamzee said suddenly, his voice a low rumble that jolted her back into partial awareness. A deep huff of breath ruffled her hair as the troll tilted down his head to look at her, long claws gently stroking her hip.

"Sleep too much," she grumbled, not even able to function up the energy to open her eyes. 

She heard was her father's voice saying quietly, "I'll be here waiting for you when you wake up- You're safe."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And happy New Year!


End file.
